why i go on the internet

anonymous asked:

Your profile is making jokes at the fact that you're not properly taking care of yourself and your disease. I'm bipolar and I don't think you should make jokes at the fact that you don't take care of yourself cuz you should. Drinking isn't the way out but you already know that why post it all over the internet? Likes and re blogs won't make your bipolar go away.

I’m not entirely sure where to begin with this.
First off, thanks for caring, and I know that I need to manage my bipolar disorder in healthy ways and that not all of my coping mechanisms are healthy.
However, this blog was created as a place to put the things I can’t or don’t know how to talk about in my real life. Furthermore, I am in therapy, take medication and am working on being the best and healthiest version of myself, but also that’s none of your business unless I want it to be.
I am aware that regardless of what happens on the internet that I am responsible for managing my illness. I also am aware that I will have times in my life where that is difficult to do and where I will struggle with my illness(es).
I want to be a resource for those who are struggling too, and I’m trying to be open about how difficult it can be because I only ever saw perfectly manicured and linear journeys from sickness to recovery. That is not my experience and that is not the experience of many, if not most, people with mental illness.
My journey is not linear. Who I am now is not who I will be forever. I am okay with that and I am okay being visible in my struggles. Right now I am struggling. I have been struggling for a while. I will not always struggle and I hope I can find peace. I hope you find peace as well, but my journey is my own and not for you to decide.
My ask box is open if you or anyone want or need to talk. I hope you are having a good day.

anonymous asked:

”Did you do this to yourself?” Xaja/Theron BECAUSE ANGST :D

So this one kinda got away from me and really should have been a two-parter. But I’m lazy and enjoy Xaja’s suffering way too much. Enjoy! :D

(if I ever vanish from the Internet with no prior warning, assume Xaja’s managed to crawl out of my computer and kill me dead.)


Arcann’s loyalists weren’t only on Zakuul. The sonofabitch had agents all across the worlds he held sway over, and a good number of them were willing to take on a Jedi Master for the Emperor’s credits.

Some of them were even good enough to succeed.


Xaja groggily came to in what seemed to be a storage closet, judging by how small and poorly-lit the room was. She was alone, and that worried her. What happened to Koth? They’d been walking down an alley on Bandomeer, and then the next moment they’d been swarmed by a pack of dark-clad figures and quickly overpowered. The Jedi hadn’t seen what had happened to Koth, half because of the bodies between them, and half because she’d suddenly been struck on the back of the head and knocked unconscious. Kriff. Am I bleeding?

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I literally dont understand why people waste their time making mean and hateful posts about fictional characters.

Like, there are plenty of characters I dislike, hate, and genuinely don’t understand the appeal of. But I’m not a dickhead so I dont go out of my way to say mean shit about them on the internet where people who love those characters will see it. Because I’m not a dickhead. And I know how to maturely handle my dislike by talking about it in private with friends I know who feel the same way. Because I’m not a dickhead.

Honestly, it’s so easy.

one of the reasons why I did straight white boy problems was because I wanted to grow as a person. This blog was my medium and I pushed myself to create, and to create, I had to expand my perspectives. 

In some ways, the straight white boy character that you became acquainted with was an exaggerated version of myself. Many of the problems were real life occurrences/observations/events that I drew from personal experience, but some problems also came from friends or were satirized to the point where the anecdote was unrealistic. Straight White Boy Problem #965 is honestly one of my personal favorites because this “problem” was actually a real situation in my life, and this situation could apply for several dudes that are questioning the meaning of masculinity.

The person that started at problem #1 is not the same person that finished with problem #1000. I was very much a self-entitled brat when I started this blog, but i have grown since then. I will be graduating college in december with a dual degree, leadership positions in student organizations, and the confidence that I can go out and do anything I set my mind to.

having a level of internet popularity (this blog finished with just over 164k followers) on a medium such as tumblr is very scary. one bad move, and you lose your rep - we have seen that with zubat, pizza, and most recently, sixpenceee. my advice to yall is to keep holding people in these positions accountable, but NEVER elevate internet famous people above other people. not everything i said over 3 years was 100% politically correct, but when i was in the wrong, i had fair and jovial conversations with people to figure out why i was in the wrong. no matter where you go in life, try to treat everybody fairly and equally - hopefully they will do the same to you. 

as for my name, you can call me alec. i did promise i’d tell you guys who i was after everything was said and done so there ya go.

thank you for following this blog and thank you for being a part of this experience. this blog was a giant, beautiful mistake that just kinda happened and im happy that yall enjoyed it as much as i did. i may do something in the future, i may not, but i leave this blog a changed and better person.

sincerely,

swbp

squid’s laws of fic (not inclusive)

first law: write the fic you wish to see in the world aka goddammit do I have to do everything myself around here

second law: it’s going to be longer than you think. much longer. hahaha so long. why are you crying 

third law: the time spent writing is inversely proportional to the amount of smut present, dammit

fourth law: flesh out your secondary characters. make them real people. have them take over. oh god. put them back. somebody please help 

fifth law: the time spent researching canon is directly proportional to the amount of time you’ll spend altering your plot. that one person on the internet 

sixth law: the time spent researching in general will eclipse the time you spend writing. the nsa agent monitoring your internet search history is curled up in a corner. his boss wants to know if you’re a threat. “I don’t know,” the agent sobs. “I just really don’t know.” 

seventh law: at some point, someone will ask what your favorite hobby is. you will feign a heart attack to get away

Rare Collection of 100 Introvert Quotes That Will Make You Feel Understood

Originally posted by water-aesthetics

Dear introverts, it’s difficult to understand you. Many people don’t comprehend that solitude and feeling alone are different things. As an introvert, you know that your solitude is a sacred space where you can recharge. We encourage you to have a look at these amazingly thoughtful and profound quotes, which will resonate with all introverts.

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When Witches Watch Ghost Shows

“That’s…That’s not how Ouija boards work. And the apps are not a reliable indicator of activity because their shit is randomly generated.”

“Why are you ASKING the tiny mysterious child to come in and play? Are you fucking stupid?”

“Why is it white people? Why do these shows almost always feature random white middle-America fluffheads without the sense God gave a goose? Is it because they do dumb shit more often or because POC families are quicker to recognize spirit bullshit and move the hell out?“

“-blink- Lady, that is NOT the 91st Psalm.”

“Wait, so you saw random geometric symbols doodled in a closet and you automatically thought OMG SATANIC? What kind of ignorant jackass….”

“RECREATIONAL TAROT CARD READING DOES NOT RANDOMLY SUMMON SPIRITS, YOU USELESS CARDBOARD SUBMARINE!”

“Since when is divination the same as spirit-summoning? What is this bullshit? Read a goddamn book, people, holy crap.”

“No no no, you can’t just set herbs on fire and think that’s it. You have to put some oomph behind it and claim your space. Holy shit, if you can’t use the sage properly, put it the fuck down.”

“You moved into a house that the realtor was literally afraid to walk around in, did you think there was no REASON for that!?”

“Oh you ignored your wife and kids being terrified cause you’re skeptical of spirits, mister big tough man? How’d that work out for ya? Thrown down the stairs you say? Gee, that’s rough.”

“Why does NOBODY listen to their kids when they say they see weird shit!?”

-the second anybody mentions Zozo- “OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD. OH MY. GOD OH MY GOD. OHHHH MY GOD.”

“Ohhh yes, there was a witch who lived in the house once. Totally the cause of your haunting because we all know that the only thing witches do is sit around and summon evil spirits. Much wicked. Very scare. Wow.”

“Yanno, witches aren’t automatically evil and hauntings can be nasty without being demonic. Your fundie financial backers are showing.”

“Listen, numb nuts, surfing the internet to find out what’s clomping around your house at night is kind of like going to WebMD to figure out why you have a stomachache. The answer you find is always going to be way more dire than what’s actually going on. Sheesh.”

“Oh my fuckin life….I need more wine.”

dan and phil's passport story

•legit phil’s dream about dan losing his passport if you didn’t already believe phil lester is a psychic
•"that’s probs just a sfw version of whatever was actually going on inside your head" yes dan because obviously any dream of phil with you in it would be 11/10 nsfw
•"dan went pale. like the palest you’ve ever seen him. like his whole internet history had been leaked…“ #beemovieyaoi
•them literally screaming at each other like the married couple they are i can’t
•dan fucking left his passport in a pair of jeans @me
•"he was emptying his suitcase all over the street” take a moment to visualize this. okay we’re back!
•how many times have these two literally ran through airports can we count please
•they got on this fucking super late plane and slept none just to go to vidcon literally #commitment this is why i stan
•"i feel like it was all your fault" literally fuckin savage phil
•these two blaming each other for everything “yOu FoRgOt YoUr PaSsPoRt” “yOu GoT tHe CaR oFf By An HoUr” literally only married couples bicker like this fuck you @phantis
•dan knew it phil knew it we all knew it if you’re gonna let your fans decide anything phil’s going to win
•but every story has a moral. this story’s moral:
💫ALWAYS BELIEVE IN PHIL’S DREAMS!💫

please please please remember

if anyone online or especially on tumblr says that doing a specific kind of exercise burns a specific amount of calories (like those “burn 1000cal!!” workouts etc) no. just no. the amount of calories you burn when exercising is incredibly relative, it depends on your height, weight age and level of intensity. i burn 345cal from walking at a quick pace for 45min. someone shorter and skinnier than me would burn that much after an hour or longer. it depends! it’s all relative!! do your own research and don’t base your shit off of random people on the internet or you’re going to be confused as to why you’re gaining weight.

((OOC: I did a full run-through of my Viktor cosplay last night so it’s officially comic con ready! <3)) 

aidenjpg  asked:

thomas, i just woke up from a dream where i was at the shelter picking out a dog and you were there and i was like "thomas help me pick a puppy!" and you were like "why would you put this burden on me?? how am i supposed to choose??" it was great. anyways i love you and thank you for your positivity, your internet presence never fails to make me happy 😊

This isn’t far from the truth tho? I think it’s mainly my issue with not getting a dog, cause I wouldn’t be able to choose. But if you think I’m bad, please consider my mom. Our present two dogs, Oliver and Lucy, were a direct result of her secretly going out and adopting them behind my dad’s back. No lie, he got so frustrated each time hahah. She got a third, but my dad insisted she take him back but we got a friend to adopt him.

It never made any sense to me why anybody ever buys the right-wing bullshit that the left is “violent,” until it occurred to me that to the establishment, “disorder” is worse than violence. Like, if you go to any right-wing page, anywhere on the internet, you’ll find more calls for war, child abuse (hitting your kid is fine, my parents hit me!), prisons, fights, fucking gun duels, shootings, corrective rape, genocide - you name it, it’s all there. I also guarantee you that you will not find anything like that in any leftist circle - but what you might find are calls for riots and revolutions. You’ll probably also find threats of violence that are extremely specific and aimed at people in power exclusively. One of those things is leagues more violent than the other - it’s not even fucking close. But the violence that the left calls for is, from an establishment point of view, more “disorderly,” and that’s all it takes.

I remember when I first got on the internet I saw a lot of jokes about video games I didn’t play, yet I spouted shit like “haha the cake is a lie!” before I played portal cuz I was a dumb kid who wanted to be funny but didn’t understand comedy so I’d just repeat what people said to me. anyways I’m imagining kids nowadays are going around spouting “Todd stop releasing skyrim!” w/o knowing who Todd is or why he’s letting skyrim go

“We just shouldn’t promote that kind of lifestyle. It’s unhealthy.”

Listen to me. I’m putting two girls side-by-side.

The girl on the left is hip-bone collar-bone thigh-gap skinny because she’s whittled herself down to one meal a day and she fasts on weekends so she can “make up” for the calories in alcohol, so she can get drunk faster on less at parties and stay skinny, stay desirable while she lights up snapchat and Instagram with glimpses of a life that society, in no uncertain terms, glorifies.

The girl on the right is overweight because she eats too much food.

“We shouldnt promote it because it’s unhealthy.” Bullshit. Bullshit. Absolute hypocritical bullshit. Because only one of these girls is going to be labeled “unhealthy.” You know which. I know which. And It’s got jackshit to do with health.

This argument shouldn’t be allowed to exist until the internet gives some semblance of a genuine shit about eating disorders or binge drinking or malnourishment. Because those have been glorified and polished gold by every facet of media and somehow—somehow—the self-righteous assholes of the internet don’t feel compelled to voice their worthless two cents about the “health” of the Instagram models they jerk it to.

If you’re so driven to advocate for women’s health, get the fuck off the internet and go ask your little sister why she skipped dinner. And leave fat girls the fuck alone. 

Leave Right Now - Harry Styles Imagine

Being back in Holmes Chapel was nice, lovely really. Even after all these years, touring the world and living in LA, Harry felt at home here. He’s smiling while driving through the back streets. He sees his old school and the bakery, then he makes it to his parents house where his family is awaiting his arrival.

“I can’t believe you’re home,” Anne grins while welcoming her son. Harry’s face squishes up against the side of her head as she hugs him tightly.

“Missed ya too mum,” he mumbles before the hug ends. “It’s nice to be here, no where to run off to tomorrow,” Harry states as he looks at his step dad and sister Gemma waiting for an embrace too.

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Free Roaming Was A Mistake: Two Years Later

This morning, I watched Kaiju emerge from her burrow, yawn, and walk around her cage. She soaked in her swimming pool for a while, got out, drank some water, played with her feeder puzzle and got some breakfast, basked, dug a hole, moved to the other side of her cage, dug another hole, and then flopped on her log to bask again. Watching her dig made me think a bit, and then I looked back at my lizard records and realized that hey, it’s two years to the day since I put her in the cage, and that made me think a little bit more. 

Namely, it made me think about the year I spent letting her free-roam all the time. It’s something I want to talk about here for a few reasons. One, I think it’s important to talk about why it was a mistake so that nobody else tries it. Two, I think it’s important for me personally because a lot of the Pet Experience™ on the internet is cute pictures and videos and talk about how amazing your animal is. Pet owners like to present themselves as experts in excellence, and I think particularly here, that contributes to a lot of the toxicity and hostility that goes around in the petblr tags. Many private challenges to our way of doing things go ignored or are met with hostility; public challenges tend to devolve into ad hominem arguments and fighting that ultimately doesn’t change the animal’s care. But everybody makes mistakes. Nobody’s perfect, and even husbandry decisions that are made with careful planning and forethought can be a huge mistake. Sometimes you back the wrong horse. 

When I was looking into tegus for the first time, a commonly recurring theme was free-roaming. While most of the community supports caging, there is a small, vocally adamant subsection that says that free-roaming works for them. They talk about how they do it, how they set up hot spots and humid zones, and how their animal is part of the family. That loud minority really seemed inspirational to me- like they were so dedicated to their animal’s experience and mental well-being that they converted their own home. I thought I could do that, too, and maybe it could have worked out long-term, but you know what? I don’t care. There’s a lot of what ifs left, alternate universes I don’t have much of an interest in exploring. It’s an irresponsible, foolish gamble. There’s no what ifs about her health- I know that she’s got the humidity and heat she needs for her organs to function properly. There’s no point in looking back or trying to figure out a work-around to facilitate full-time free roaming. 

Here’s what I know: While the year she spent free-roaming caused no problems based on bloodwork and imaging analysis, there’s no telling what could have happened in the long run. Tegus are tanks and it can take a long time before improper care takes its toll on them. This is the post I saw that made me change my mind; the tegu here had been free-roaming for six years before his health rapidly declined. That’s what made me decide that even if I did everything “right” to keep letting Kaiju free-roam, it just wasn’t worth it. Sometimes, even if you think you’re doing the right thing, it’s valuable to take a step back and say “ok, but is this really the right thing?” It’s said a lot by petblr bloggers that your ego shouldn’t ever come before your pets’ health, but sometimes these decisions aren’t based on ego- sometimes they’re based on just plain being wrong. And there’s nothing wrong with admitting that! It’s ok to be wrong. Nobody’s right all the time. But have the courage to reevaluate your husbandry practices and the honesty to fully consider the risks- and if you realize you need to make a change, then make it. Your animal’s worth it.

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Call out post for Travis Willingham: so supportive???