why i am not a liberal

Honestly one of the biggest problem on this website is a lack of forgiveness. People do dumb shit. People say dumb shit. People mess up. We all do, it’s a human thing.

But like, don’t condemn people for it, man, come on, that’s not cool.

That 15 year old anti sjw who just figured out how systemic oppression works and is now apologizing for the horrible shit they said? Dude, encourage them. Forgive them. Tell them you’re proud that they figured stuff out.

Obviously there are truly irredeemable pieces of garbage out there but (and believe me, I’m not hitting u with that “punching Nazis is wrong” white liberal bullshit, because I am violently pro Nazi punching), a lot of the small stuff, like young teens who post anti feminist stuff when they’re young and are now figuring out why “triggered” jokes aren’t funny? They should be forgiven, and encouraged for growing as people.

I am a volunteer patient escort at planned parenthood

This is something I just shared on FB about my experiences as a patient escort. Just thought I’d put it on here too.

Alright y'all. Prepare for a long post, but one you should read.

Some of you know, but some of you don’t, that I volunteer at Planned Parenthood about twice a month. My official title is Volunteer Clinic Escort. My role is to safely get patients and family into the clinic safely, with privacy, and with a friendly face. Not all Planned Parenthoods (PP) have these, but the clinic where I volunteer does because we have loud, abrasive, volatile, threatening, verbally abusive and dishonest anti-choice protesters who harass people in the clinic. I would like to tell you about my experiences with them and with patients who talk to me as I stand outside with my umbrella and vest.

(I would like to note that this is not the place to tell me that abortion is wrong, that I should not support PP, that I need to stop what I’m doing. I’ve heard every argument before. In fact, I’ve had every arguement screamed in my face. You’re welcome to your opinion, but I will not be acknowledging it on here, and I ask that others ignore dissenters too. This post isn’t about me and why you think I’m wrong. It’s about what I see every time I volunteer.)

When I am volunteering, I am outside and often have patients and family members talk with me. I’m obviously not there to counsel or to offer advice medically one way or another, but I am a friendly ear and people just need to talk sometimes. Also, when volunteering, patients entering the clinic are verbally harassed by the anti choice protesters almost immediately and, while we don’t encourage it, they often yell back. The protesters don’t listen.


On my very first day, I had a person head into the clinic. As I smiled to her and went to get the door, an anti-choice protester (ACP) yelled “Mama! Don’t kill your baby!” The patient immediately responded tearfully “my baby is dead. My baby is falling out of me right now. I didn’t do anything.” The ACP, without missing a beat, screamed back through her child-sized megaphone “No he isn’t! Your doctor lied to you! These murderers just want your money!” I ushered in the patient as gently as I could while my co-volunteer told her kindly that those people didn’t matter and that in a week they wouldn’t even remember what they heard here.

In the year and a half I’ve been doing this, we have had a ACP sneak into the clinic and threaten to burn the place down. The police did nothing. We had two other ACPs try and enter the clinic to tell patients they would adopt their babies. We told them to get off the property and when they didn’t, we called the police. Eventually the ACP returned to the narrow strip of lawn they stand on at the edge of the parking lot, and luckily so, because the police never showed again.

My clinic, luckily, has never faced extreme violence while I was there. But other PP and health care clinics are not so lucky. They are burned down, have bombs planted, have clinic escorts and workers physically harmed.

They are shot at and three people die.

I have had patients tell me that they will be killed by their partner if they have an abortion. I have been told that their partner will kill them if they DON’T have one. I’ve been told how people with physical disabilities cannot carry a child without side effects so severe they may not survive. I’ve had patients explain that their mental health is at risk if they go through with the pregnancy. I’ve had patients come in with a wanted pregnancy that ended in miscarriage and they needed PPs help to safely remove the tissue. I’ve seen people come in who admit to being addicted to drugs and know they cannot go through this pregnancy.

Planned Parenthood helped all these people, not just with medical care, but with helping abused patients find help to escape violent partners. Helping those who want to conceive find fertility doctors. Helping drug addicts find resources to become healthy.

All the while, the ACP stand outside, screaming and hollering, telling women that they are murderers and whores and that they will burn for murdering their babies. But it’s ok, they do it out of love. They scream at these people and tell them awful things and then beg to have the patient come talk with them.

They don’t see the hypocrisy.

It is a rule to not engage with the ACP at all. In the year and a half I’ve been doing this, I’ve said maybe a total of 50 words to the group, all of which are some form of “you are on our property, step back right now.” I may not engage them, but we can make eye contact and make them believe we are listening. We do this so the ACP begins shouting at me, and not a patient getting air outside. I would much rather be shouted at than have them scream at a patient.

When I am being yelled at, I have been called: a murderer, a nazi, a slavery supporter, a bad mother, a bad wife (they do not know if I am married or if I have children), a witch, a lesbian, a liberal, a member of satan’s army, a Muslim lover, a bitch, a slut, and evil. Some of these things are true and some are perfectly fine things to be, but to the ACP they are all bad.

Sometimes we have patient partners come talk to the protesters. They try and explain to the ACP why they are there with their partner. I’ve heard them tell the ACP every single reason, and every single time, the protesters still tell them they are wrong and a bad father and a supporter of Satan. Every. Time. And they call this love.

Since Trump took office, one of his first orders signed was a Global Gag Rule. People thought that this rule meant that no US money would go to pay for abortions overseas, but in fact, US funds have never paid for abortions and haven’t since 1973. Even in the US, because of the Hyde Amendment, no federal funding goes to pay for abortions.

What this gag rule now does, however, is prevent money from going to clinics that even mention abortion as a method of family planning. They don’t have to perform them. If they are mentioned at all in pamphlets or classes, they lose foreign aid money. This means that now they can’t provide birth control, wellness checks, prenatal care, or classes.

This will cause unwanted pregnancies. This will cause people to seek out abortions, often in unsafe condition.

This will cause people to die.

Roughly 1/3 people with a uterus will have an abortion in their life. I haven’t spoken to everyone who has had one, but I’ve spoken to more than most. No one gets an abortion out of malice. No one gets an abortion just to end the life of a fetus, just for kicks. No. One.

Planned Parenthood provides important health services, including abortion. They do this despite the risk of physical bodily harm, every day. People like myself stand outside PP to protect patients because it is important.

We. Will. Not. Stand. Down.

I will continue to volunteer, even though since Trump was elected, the ACP have gotten more and more aggressive in their tactics, since they believe Trump supports their actions. I will continue to walk these patients inside, to get help, because it is important and right. I will continue to fight Trump the slew of anti choice people supporting him. I will continue to support choice even though I know I will lose friends and will face hatred from people I know.

Planned Parenthood is important, and we will not stand down.

I want to talk about this whole “punching nazis” thing, which I have been thinking about for some days.

To start, let me clarify that I have no moral or ethical qualms with Richard Spencer getting punched in the face on tv. I’d be happy to see it happen again.

But I do have a couple issues with much of the dialogue that has emerged in the wake of this event.

A lot of the people suddenly talking about nazis right now are people who didn’t seem to even realize they existed in this country prior to this election.

A lot of people seem to have gotten some strange ideas about how and where nazis are typically encountered, or who they actually are.

So, I’d like to talk about some of the times in my life when I’ve encountered nazis.

Before I do that, let’s try to establish a definition. There are a lot of different stripes of fascists and white supremacists out there, with varying agendas and varying degrees of organization. In the US we’ve got many types, ranging from the KKK and Aryan Nation to various unorganized skinhead rabble to the newish group calling itself the Alt Right. It seems easiest, at least for the sake of this argument, to lump those all together under one general “nazi” category. But does that really make sense? I’ll come back to that. But for now, in most of the examples I will describe below, these were people who openly called themselves such.

Also, I want to establish a bit about who I am. I don’t like to discuss any of these things publicly, but I also feel like I kind of have to, to explain where I am coming from. So: I am Jewish, I am bi, I am neurodivergent. Due to this last thing, I have certain issues navigating the physical world. I am physically fit but not athletic. I have very little self defense training. By occupation I am a musician.

And lastly I want to point out that these examples are from 15-20 years ago and describe some of my earliest encounters with these forces to provide context. And I’m going to start with some clear cut cases:

I first became aware of the existence of modern nazis my first year in high school. This was in the suburbs of San Francisco. I had a few friends who were into punk music and culture. I heard about “white power punks” and nazi skinheads who would sometimes show up at shows. When I started going out I would see them every once in a while. When I started going up to the city, at that time there were places that were absolutely notorious for nazi skinheads. I never interacted with them, I always steered clear of them, and never really fell in with the punk scene anyway. But that’s when I first became aware that there were people in modern America who called themselves nazis and directly advocated for white supremacy.

To be honest I did not think of myself as their “target” because (in my mind, at that time) Jewish culture in the SF Bay Area was practically invisible and unlikely to be on their radar. In fact I didn’t think too deeply about who their target was. I mostly thought they were crazy people who loved violence and called themselves “nazis” because it was the meanest thing they could think of, that they were in favor of “white power” because it was so obviously wrong. At this time, there was fair amount of tension in the state around the issue of immigration from Mexico. But it did not occur to me then that there could have been any relationship between the xenophobia I saw expressed by mainstream circles in conversations about Proposition 187 and the blatant, violent white supremacy expressed by the skinheads on the periphery of local punk scenes. (also please note that I am aware that not all skinheads are nazis and that there is an anti-racist element within skinhead culture as well)

In college, in Pittsburgh, I lived on a store with a convenience store on one end. One of the people who worked in this store was a skinhead who wore a jacket covered in various white power/“rock against communism” band logos. He had a group of similar buddies that often hung around nearby, a couple of whom had aryan nation tattoos. On several occasions when I woke up in the morning I would find leaflets distributed up and down the block decrying the Holocaust as a “Jewish scam to make money”. These flyers were attributed to Church of the Creator, one of the more active neo-nazi groups in Pennsylvania at that time. Every once in a while I would cautiously engage in arguments with some people on the fringes of that crew of guys who hung out in the area. Things were sometimes tense but never got physical. Soon after 9/11 most of them disappeared. I don’t know why or where to.

While traveling alone in Slovenia, I nearly ran into a parade of about 40 skinheads chanting and marching in the street while I was on the way back to where I was staying. I do not know what specific group they were affiliated with but wore patches with the common “celtic cross” symbol used by far right/white nationalist groups all over the world. At that time, fascist graffiti covered Ljubljana.

Those are just a few of the more blatant examples from that time. These experiences were not rare. The KKK and various neo-nazi groups held public parades and rallies all throughout this period, and sometimes showed up as counter protestors or forces of violence at protests for progressive causes. They marched through downtown Pittsburgh - with the local government’s blessing - and many other cities in that region.

There were protestors at those marches, and there were people who fought the nazis directly, but the general consensus in mainstream liberal circles at that time seemed to be that nazis had the right to march just like anyone else, that any violence against them would be bad. It certainly wasn’t at all common to hear college educated, NY Times-reading liberals talking about the glories of “punching nazis”. This is a problematic but very complicated phenomenon: they were to be tolerated up until the point at which they’ve come into power.

But let me explain why _I_ didn’t go around punching the nazis I saw, during those times when I encountered them personally. To some extent, part of me did follow that logic mentioned above, but that’s not the real reason. The real reason is pretty simple: most nazis are a lot better at fighting than I am, they do it more frequently, they usually travel in numbers, they are often armed, and in almost every circumstance when I’ve encountered them the odds would not have been remotely in my favor had things gotten physical.

Richard Spencer was alone and unarmed standing in front of a video camera busily talking about an internet meme while he was sucker punched. This occurred in broad daylight in a very crowded, open area with a ton of media and police present. While I applaud the anonymous puncher for seizing upon that opportunity, that’s not really a typical situation in which one encounters nazis.

Recently, Richard Spencer posted a video in reaction to this incident. In this video he mentions that the Alt Right will not succeed if they are unable to be who they are in public. I’ve seen a lot of people pointing to this video as a sign of victory over the Alt Right, a sign that they are scared. I think the latter half is true but not the former. What Spencer is saying is that they are going to ramp up security. And I would anticipate that these people will begin to receive even more protection from the current administration.

So, this is one conclusion I’d like to leave here - in most cases “punching nazis” means getting involved in serious physical violence in which your life will be at risk. And that risk is only going to increase in the future. Fantasizing about punching some idiot talking about a frog on tv is fun, but I think it ignores the realities that many have faced and many more are about to face. And while many of us have disabilities that hinder us in this department, I think it would behoove anyone who is serious about getting physical with fascists to study and learn how to do so before getting involved in a situation you are unprepared for. I would also think long and hard before making that demand of anyone else. But that’s not the most important point.

I’d like to circle back to talking about definitions. The examples I gave above are obvious. These were people who, in almost all cases, were openly wearing the actual logos of white supremacist organizations. So let me bring up a different example:

About one year after 9/11 I was in Budapest, taking an overnight train to Amsterdam. I had a spot in a sleeper compartment on a train. I got on and a couple other passengers came in. One of them was a young guy, a little older than me (I was in my early 20’s at this time). He spoke English very well and we got to talking. It turned out he was an Austrian who worked in finance. Middle management at a major bank. He bought us a couple of beers and we were getting along. Inevitably, the topic of 9/11 came up. Seemingly out of nowhere, he explains to me how “there were no Jews in the building that day”. He then goes on to explain how 9/11 and the entire War on Terror that was then unfolding was all a Jewish plot to direct money to Israel’s armed forces. And hinted that the Holocaust was a similar plot. I tried to argue with him for a bit (without letting on that I was Jewish) but it was nearly impossible to get through to him, and he soon became surly and then passed out. I tried to do the same. But what caught my attention was that this man was well spoken, dressed conservatively, he looked every bit the upper middle class finance professional. It was difficult to imagine him in a street fight. No one would have described this person as being on the fringes of his society.

Up until a year ago, if I told this story to a European, or to an American person of color, they were unsurprised. But if I told it to a white American their reaction would usually be “yeah, well, that’s Europe for you”.

But that’s never been the case.

One common narrative is that many of the groups of fascists have figured out that they aren’t going to get very far if they are seen just thugs who march around on the street wearing in leather jackets getting in scraps. many of them have figured this out some time ago, and have been infiltrating mainstream education and corporate life. And yes, that is happening.

But there is a big problem with that narrative: it ignores the fact that many of America’s institutions and businesses are, themselves, organizations that promote white supremacy. Many of our banks, many of our police departments, our prison system, much of our media. Does these mean they are all “nazis”? Not really. But what it does mean is that white supremacy is not some outside force that just suddenly popped out of Steve Bannon’s suitcase. It’s been here for a long time. It is deeply engrained in our society. Fascism is not some new danger that we suddenly need to prevent from being “normalized” - for much of America, fascism has been the norm for a very long time.

Here’s my point with all of this: sooner or later, Trump will be defeated. This regime is monstrous, but I have seen the power and anger and sheer volume of opposition to it, and I do not think that this regime will last. My worry is, once this most obvious of enemies is defeated, the liberal establishment will go right back to completely forgetting that white supremacy and fascism are a major problem in this country. The sad fact is, even when Democrats in power, even when the POTUS is the most progressive sounding person electable, the nazis are still here, white supremacy is still here, fascism is still here. And not always on “the other side”. We need to remember that, we need to keep pointing to them and ostracizing them and speaking out against white supremacy and fascism even when it looks like things are more comfortable, because that comfort is a trap.

feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere was something that ached inside me for as long as I can remember, but now I think… maybe I was always meant to be free, maybe that’s why I was always progressing towards this notion of understanding I am not meant to belong anywhere, and that is what makes me beautifully liberated, and open to all possibilities.

Person: This bad thing just happened! *goes on to explain how scared, angry, and abhorrent of the thing that happened they are*

INTJ (me): *shrugs*

Person: Aren’t you scared, though?! This is a terrible world we live in!

INTJ (me): I am not at all scared. In fact, I do not have any feelings upon the subject. I learned a long time ago through personal experience that this world is not fair. The sooner you embrace the void the happier you’ll be. Have a nice day.

washingtonpost.com
Yelling ‘I hate white people’ and punching one isn’t a hate crime, Canadian judge rules
The judge said there was no evidence to determine what the indigenous woman meant by her words during the attack.
By https://www.facebook.com/peter.holley.923

She went up to a random white person, struck her as she called out she hates white people, and as she was arrested she claimed she did it because ‘the white man is out to get her’.

“There is no evidence either way about what the offender meant or whether … she holds or promotes an ideology which would explain why this assault was aimed at this victim. I am not satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt that this offense was, even in part, motivated by racial bias.”

Clearly, nothing in the attack and what the thug said indicated a motive or ideology.

Translation: Hate crimes against white people are okay.

Oh, Canada…

4

Islam isn’t a violent religion any more than Christianity is.
(Twitter: MuslimIQ)

This was directed at a white supremacist, but it’s a good response for the Bill Maher Liberals in your life too, especially the atheists.  The Angry White Man brand of Liberal Atheist Absolutism is probably one of my least favorite factions among people I generally agree with, because it always comes with a condescending air of I’m Right And You’re Wrong.  Things are this or they are that, and because I am an educated white man, I am smart, and I don’t have to listen to your rebuttals to whatever I just said.  One of their hot button issues is religion, wherein all religions are stupid and terrible, but Islam is the worst because it makes people violent.

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being an antizionist jew and discussing it on this website is so fucking annoying lmfao bc on the one hand we have zionist jews screaming about how our “internalized antisemitism” etc and on the other and we have non-palestinian goyim who shut us out of any conversation the second we try to shed some light on WHY so many jews (in the west especially) are zionists so that we can perhaps approach them and get underneath all the brainwashing they likely grew up with, and gain their support for our cause

like golly gee i, a jew, sure do love getting shut out of conversations about jewish nationalism by goyim who have no stock in the issue whatsoever other than earning their Good Tumblr Leftist points so they can yell about how antisemitism doesn’t matter because #FREEPALESTINE and really have no clue what the hell they’re even talking about

it’s not hard to tell when someone considers themself an antizionist because they’re truly against nationalism and settler colonialism and are for the liberation of palestinians, and when they’re actually just antisemites or following what they think they should because tumblr says so…this issue is so complex and i’m tired of seeing people discuss it in such a reductive way lol 

when antizionist jews try to explain the reasons why there are so many zionist jews (mostly, brainwashing and antisemitism) LISTEN TO US!!!! tackling these issues is the first step to making an actual change. otherwise your “activism” is performative and helps absolutely nobody.

nightsky6  asked:

I don't understand, aren't liberals democrats and progressives...? I'm a little confused. Pls shed some light

Anonymous said to berniesrevolution:

I thought Bernie was a liberal

Anonymous said to berniesrevolution:

Protip: don’t say the whole “left” thing. Bernie is a progressive and wonderful person. Applying simply “left” to him is not a good discription. It kind of fucks both parties here.

Anonymous said to berniesrevolution:

Is a liberal now like a neo-liberal? Sorry, I’m confused by all the terms now…

We have had a few of these recently, so I figured I would address them all at once. 

There is a problem with using the term Liberal in politics, especially in the United States. Two facets of any ideology are Social and Economic policy. In the United States, we have had an odd arrangement with our political parties. Prior to Clinton, the Democratic party had Liberal Social and a more Conservative Economic Policy. The Republican’s, since Reagan, have had Conservative social and Neo-Liberal Economic Policy. Since Clinton, the Democrats have been pushing Liberal Social and Neo-Liberal Economic Policy. 

See how confusing that is? When you say “Liberal” context is important. Are we talking economic issues, social issues or the amount of cheese on nachos? 

It can become very confusing. 

That being said, here are some basic definitions to help you out:

Hence why Bernie is a Leftist, a Progressive and a Liberal. 

This is also why I am @theliberaltony

[At the] National Press Club Luncheon in 1986, Baldwin was asked, “How would you assess the state of race relations today, how much change have you seen since The Fire Next Time?“ After giving the audience a slightly helpless smile that almost hid his frustration, Baldwin responded with what he called a “modest proposal”:

"What I would really like to do,” he began, “I want to establish…White History Week. (Audience laughs and claps.) Because the answers to these questions is not to be found in me, but in that history that produces these questions. It’s late in the day to be talking about race relations. What are you talking about? As long as we have ‘race relations’, how can they deteriorate or improve? I am not a race and neither are you.

“No, we are talking about the life and the death of this country…I’m not joking when I talk about white history week. One of the things which most afflicts this country is that white people don’t know who they are or where they come from. And that’s why you think I’m a problem. But I am not the problem, your history is. And as long as you pretend that you don’t know your history, you are going to be a prisoner of it. And there is no question of you liberating me, because you can’t liberate yourselves. We are in this together.

"And finally: when “white people” talk about progress in relation to black people, all they are saying and all they can possibly mean by the word progress is how quickly and how thoroughly I become white. I don’t want to become white, I want to grow up. And so should you.”

My asexuality/”why awareness is important” story

When I was a teen, growing up in a small town in 1980s Mississippi, there were only 2 options as far as I knew:  Either you were gay or your were straight.  Because I was exceedingly liberal for the time and place (though probably less liberal than I am now) and because I wanted desperately to leave Mississippi, I spent a lot of time learning as much as I could about the outside world.  I spent hours at the library my high school shared with the local university reading the Village Voice and dreaming of going in New York City.    Because of this, and because I was a huge fan of Erasure, I figured out that there was nothing wrong with being gay.  Which was good, because I knew I wasn’t straight.  I couldn’t be:  I liked looking at pretty guys too much, and I got crushes on my male friends.

On the other hand, I also knew that I liked looking at pretty girls too, and I regularly developed crushes on my female friends.  So I lay awake at night, my thoughts spinning in my head  “I like boys, so I can’t be straight.  But I like girls, so I can’t be gay.  But I like boys…”  Repeat ad nauseum.

Fast forward to the early 90s.  I was going to college in New Orleans.  This exposed me to much more of the world than I would have seen had I remained in Mississippi.  But it didn’t bring me any closer to figuring things out until my second semester, when there was a rash of people in the dorm coming out as bisexual.  Aha!  A lightbulb went on in my head.  THIS must be what I was.  I could like both boys and girls!  But something still didn’t feel right.  Though I made out with people and liked it, I passed up chances to have sex with people of both genders.  Finally one of my female friends basically harassed me into sleeping with her (at the time I didn’t recognize date rape for what it was - the early 90s were a much less aware time, at least for me).  And when I met the woman who later became my wife, she was the one who made the first move sexually, as well as the second and third moves and most of the others.  

Fast forward again, last 2015.  My wife and I are still together and have had 2 kids.  But no one looking at our sex life would ever mistake it for a “normal” sex life (to the extent that there is such a thing).  But I still feel that something’s not right.  I’m not unhappy, but at the same time, my main feeling about sex is a resounding “meh.”  I research various fetishes and relationship styles on the internet, but nothing really feels right - some seem like they might be a lot of fun, but the whole idea just collapses for me once genitals get involved.  When I watch a TV show about pickup artists, and besides being repulsed at all the dishonesty involved, my thought is “That seems like an awful lot of work for sex.”  

Then one day I stumbled on a page about the difference between romantic orientation and sexual orientation.  And then I learn about asexuality.  And finally, after all this time, I figured it out.  I’m panromantic and asexual.  All of a sudden so many things from my past made sense.  SO MANY THINGS!  And while I’m very glad that I understand it now, I’m also rather frustrated at the time lost because I didn’t have this knowledge years and years before.  I could have been spared so much mental anguish and so many sleepless nights if I had known.

Which brings us to why I think awareness is important:  Because kids aren’t going to be straight just because they don’t know about the alternatives.  They’ll still be whatever they are; they’ll just feel confused and agitated and WRONG because they don’t fit in to the alternatives that they’ve been told about.

Has anyone stopped to consider that denying a bi woman’s bisexuality on the basis of her past or present interpersonal relationships isn’t just biphobic or misogynistic, it’s also homophobic? I mean biphobia itself is a subset of/derived from homophobia, of course, but I also don’t understand why so many of you fail to realize that bi women are susceptible to plain old homophobia just like other LGBT people. When gay men, bi men, and lesbians are denied their sexualities, people rightfully recognize that as homophobic, but when bi women (usually bi women who are currently dating men or bi women who have only dated men or bi women who haven’t been with anyone) are denied their bisexuality people don’t recognize the homophobia inherent in that as well. 

Denying that a woman is non-straight is like textbook, quintessential homophobia, and I’m scared that even other bi women don’t get this. It’s a pretty typical tactic that the straight male perpetrators of abuse use against bi women. Straight men can and do enact violence specifically because a woman is bi (by dredging up stereotypes about how they’re “slutty” and “adulterous”) but they can and do take the alternative route by brutalizing the bi woman to “beat” the bisexuality out of her. This isn’t just misogyny - it’s homophobia, and it’s direct evidence that biphobia originates from homophobia. 

I’m not surprised that most people are completely unaware that bi women, out of all groups categorized by sexual orientation, face the highest rates of IPV and sexual violence. I’m not surprised because I’m sure it’s lumped under straight women’s abuse or it’s just swept under the rug because no one wants to admit that we’re actual LGBT people who are actually same-gender attracted and actually are exposed to homophobic violence, even when we’re in m/f relationships. But it is surprising that on a most basic level, people aren’t understanding how this works not just through a gendered analysis but also through an analysis of how heteronormativity/homophobia operates. Straight people, particularly straight men, violently ridding LGBT people of their non-straightness and/or violently denying the existence of their non-straightness is pretty obviously homophobic, yet when it happens to bi women it’s summarily rejected as a form of homophobia because we aren’t seen as “LGBT” enough. It’s incredibly shocking that bi women actually have to point this out because none of us want this to happen, and none of us want to rehash details of the violence we face, yet we are forced to because people want to continually deny that we have always belonged in the community. 

Every time I bring this up someone inevitably says “all m/f relationships receive material benefits”. And that’s true. Even bi women will receive social and cultural capital, ease of access to public services, and other things that all heterosexual relationships receive, but she will not be treated the same way straight women are in m/f relationships. It’s funny how everyone calls for specific analyses and specific methods of identification for all other LGBT people - and in fact people get angry when you don’t do this - but when bi women ask for specific acknowledgement of the oppression they face, they either receive silence in response or indignant denial. 

If you can acknowledge that gay men, bi men, and lesbians have been abused in m/f relationships before, and that the abuse more often than not manifested as a form of homophobia, then why is it so difficult for you to acknowledge that the same phenomenon applies to bi women? I can also hear someone saying “oh you stupid bislut libfem (I’m not a liberal feminist but bi women are always accused of being liberal feminists, which is also intriguing), you must think hypervisibility is a privilege”. That is not what I’m saying. What I am saying, though, is that bi women clearly aren’t “invisible” in their m/f relationships if they’re being abused so egregiously, yet the abuse itself is invisible and not even all bi women are aware of it. 

thoughts on safe lists

Context: There is a tumblr page that started to build up a list of recs for fics that do not contain certain tropes, and a list of authors that write those tropes so that people could avoid them.

I’m not on the list of authors to avoid, nor did I participate in the construction of that list, so I’m (mostly) leaving the discussion there to others.

But I was on the list of recommended authors, and I had a little verified check mark next to my blog name indicating that I was “safe” to follow because my blog did not talk about any of the tropes. And I have feelings about that, because…you know what? Nobody showed me the list of tropes to be avoided and asked me if I was safe.

I’m a big fan of letting people hate what they hate, and letting people love what they love, within the generalized confines of modern small-l liberalism. I absolutely support people in their desire to identify things they hate and avoid them, and I support people who love that thing loving it, and things tend to work best if lovers and haters get separate rooms. (The confines of small-l liberalism end when someone loves going into someone else’s room and messing with their shit. Don’t do that.) I support tags and blacklists and blocking liberally.

I am old and salty as fuck, so trust me I understand hatred. I also understand that life’s too damned short to waste trying to convince people to hate things they love or love things they hate.

But that’s why creating a list of “safe” authors without consulting those authors is not a great choice. You’re putting me in a room without asking me if I want to be in it.

If you want to put an author on a list as having a “safe” blog to follow for X thing, there is only one way to know if the author is safe for that thing, and that’s to look at the author’s words about that thing. I don’t think I’ve used words to express my opinion about any of the things on that list either way on this blog.

As it is, I happen to love femslash Victor/Yuuri. And multiple A/B/O fics. And multiple fics with stripper AUs and sexwork. All of those things were on the list of bad things to block people for. When I saw the list, I instantly recognized authors I’ve read and loved–@dadvans @forovnix @lazulisong @sparklingwaterbabie @yuurisvictor @phoenixwaller @savour-y @astoryaboutwar at a first glance, and surely many more if I deep-dived and actually clicked on all the URLs.

By putting me on a “safe” list without consulting me, you’re putting me in a position where if I ever reblog something, or squee about a fic I like, I’m going to be making someone who felt like they were in a safe space feel attacked. I don’t want to do that. 

If you are harmed by seeing a thing, please use the ask box instead of assuming that I also don’t like the thing. Telling people I’m safe for X thing when you haven’t verified is a dick move both to the people you’re telling and to me.

TL;DR ASK PEOPLE INSTEAD OF ASSUMING THEY HATE THE SAME THINGS THAT YOU DO.

Nine months after the end of my last homosexual relationship, when I promised the Lord that I would honor Him in all areas of my life, I finally told my liberal non-Catholic mother that I left the homosexual lifestyle. It didn’t go over well. I am still the same loving person with a heart for helping others. The difference is that I’m Catholic now. I don’t know why I’m looked at differently.

Please pray for the both of us. Thank you.

4

[warning for old-school trans terminology and rhetoric, transmisogyny, slurs, and mentions of violence and rape]

this is the article roycevomit discovered; i managed to track it down in the local university library and use their scanner.  bear with me, the text is a little long, but it’s also very interesting and at times a little too close to home.  obviously i don’t agree with everything it says, but i think it’s an important part of our history.

Beyond Two-Genderism
Notes of a Radical Transsexual
by Margo
published in The Second Wave Vol 2.4 (1972)

Over the past few years, both the feminist and gay movements have been challenging some basic assumptions about human sexual identity and expression.  There is a growing group of people who refuse to see women as inferior to men, and who also refuse to see love between people of the same sex as inferior or less “moral” than love between people of different sexes.  More and more questions are being asked about sex roles and relationships, ranging from why there is not equal pay for equal work to why a fulfilling sexual experience cannot involve less or more than two people.  In brief, the feminist movement has challenged male chauvinism, and the gay movement has challenged heterosexual chauvinism.  Of course, these are not separate issues.  As one who views herself as a feminist bisexual woman, I think and feel them to be very intimately related indeed.

Two-Genderism: Unfinished Business

However, if I am to find a life as a full human being, I must challenge yet a third aspect of sexism which has not yet been challenged, at least not on a large scale.  I call this aspect two-genderism, a rather clumsy term upon which I hope someone will improve.

Two-genderism can be summed up in the following assumptions: (1) human beings are divided into two distinct and mutually exclusive biological pigeonholes, male and female, (2) human beings are divided into two distinct and mutually exclusive psychological and social pigeonholes, men and women; (3) biological sex, subjective identity, and social assignment always coincide, and (4) none of these facts can change as a person grows and develops.

Perhaps these assumptions become clearer when we see exactly who gets hurt by them.  While it is true that everyone is affected to some extent, and that without these assumptions it would be much harder to maintain or justify a sexist society, still there are two overlapping groups that are particularly damaged by two-genderism.  First, there are intersexuals, people who combine some elements of both sexes in their bodies.  Secondly, there are transsexuals, people who develop gender identities which are preponderantly opposite to the ones which society demands.

Most transsexuals have perfectly “normal” female or male bodies, as the case may be.  Most intersexuals tend to adopt whatever sex they are reared to be, no matter how confusing from a two-sex viewpoint their biological condition is.  And there are some people who combine aspects of both these groups.  I am one of them.

A Personal Account

As I have learned from the feminist and gay movements, theory is not enough.  Now women are beginning to feel free to discuss their rapes without shame or euphemism, and gay people openly discuss the joys and terrors of coming out.  In the same way, I feel that an account of my past may give a better picture of what two-genderism means.

I am a genitally male person who has wanted to be female since about the age of four and a half.  I have some female breast development and gonads which produce virtually no sperm for a reason which has not yet been medically determined.  At present, I am taking female hormones and look forward to eventual sex reassignment surgery to make me as biologically female as possible.  At the same time, I must admit that 21 years of living as a male, however unrelished a role it has been, has made my sense of femaleness different than it is for someone born into that status.

Rather than write an autobiographical case history, I would like to relate moments which may give a better feeling of what my transsexuality has meant in my life.  My technique is borrowed directly from an article entitled “Barbaric Rituals,” which is in Sisterhood is Powerful.

Excerpts From A Diary

I am walking around in male clothing, and a child refers to me as a “funny-looking lady."  Teenagers ask me if I am a boy or a girl.  I am not sure if they are affirming my female identity or merely considering me as a hippy.  I think of many replies, respond with silence, and walk on.

In a crowd watching a building a building demolition (do I see the bring-down of a sixteen-story building as symbolic transsexuality?), being asked by some teenage boys if I use silicone, and being warned by a hardhat not to lift my sweatshirt lest I be "lewd and luscious."  Being told by one boy that I would probably be busted for "impersonating a chick” even though I am in male attire.

Being told by a feminist friend that I am masculine in being more idea-oriented than people-oriented, and wondering when people would ever give me a chance to be my real self to them.

Openly cross-dressing, wearing women’s clothing to a university campus, and being correctly associated with the gay movement but incorrectly identified as a male homosexual rather than as what I consider myself, a female bisexual.

Being called a faggot by some fraternity types at school.  The humor was that a faggot is the derogatory term for a male who enjoys sleeping with males, while I was and am in a situation where I can go to bed only with myself.

Finding some genuine beauty and humanness in my own subjectively female sexuality, in spite of all the confusion and ambivalence, but being unable to express a shadow of it to anyone else.

Talking to a friendly gay male who tells me, “I’m a very tolerant faggot, but I can’t understand you.  You’ve gone three steps beyond me and another two in reverse.”

Talking to a gay sister who can understand me as a “cross-gender Lesbian” but cannot understand why I find myself talking in a very different tone of voice, an affirmation of my emerging identity.

Being excluded from feminist groups because of my genitals and required male social role, and being excluded from male society because of almost everything else.

Talking with some genuinely kind organizers of a women’s center at my undergraduate school who has tried to comfort me by telling me that what with nonsexist child rearing I should have company in fifteen or twenty years.

After a demonstration against fraternity prostitution, going to a local newspaper and saying “Women’s liberation frees men too,” rather than, “I am what i feel, a woman who supports both her sisters and her brothers in ending dehumanization.”

Going to a campus meeting for a feminist organization where it is proposed to hold a women’s party, hearing that there can also be a men’s party, and realizing that I can fit into neither; going outside and having a good cry.

Having a radical male friend question whether my transsexuality is a personal distraction from “worthwhile” political work because “how many transsexuals are there, anyway?”

Leaving early from a radical literature distribution meeting and hearing that I had missed an excellent discussion of the unity of the personal and the political.  Later the same night being asked, at a party of the same people, not to discuss my intersexuality since I might be overheard.  Knowing that natural-born women could discuss birth control or abortion at this party without fear.

Telling myself that I am where a female was in 1950 or a gay person in 1960.  Then thinking about a woman or gay person raped, murdered, or driven to suicide, and feeling guilty fro playing the game of “more oppressed than thou.”

Reading about a woman’s project in Vietnam, and getting my priorities straight by hoping that the war will be over before I will be eligible to join.

Wondering if I will ever be able to pass as a female, and deciding that if not, I would rather live in a body and wear clothes that I can enjoy, even if it is on a desert island.

Reading feminist literature which claims that “men sure of their masculinity support equality” and gay literature which says that those who cross-identify or cross-dress are expressing masochism, are a small minority of the upright homophile world, and should not make you doubt that “you can be gay and normal too."  As a Lesbian who considers female transsexuals her sisters, experiencing the special pain of seeing these people apologized for and put down.

Arranging for hormone tests, and wondering what they can really prove.  Realizing that to learn I "really” have breasts, that I “really” am partly female, would make me feel much more legitimate.

Enjoying medieval music, which has scales in between major and minor.  Reflecting that even in classical music you are permitted to modulate, to change key.

Conclusion

This article is intended neither as a scholarly discussion of transsexual and intersexual states nor as a blueprint for ideal societies.  There are a number of articles now available on transsexuals and intersexuals, although many have a sexist bias.  As far as utopias are concerned, many anti-sexist people have shown a great interest in writing about androgynous societies yet small tolerance for actual androgynous people.  I can, however, make some suggestions to both the feminist and gay movements.

To The Feminist Movement:

1.  Do not assume that people who are confident about their sexual identities are for equality.  many people are either confident sexists or unsure people who question the old givens.  It is also an insult to all who do not fit the stereotype of a confident person of any sex.

2.  Understand that because of psychological and social pressures many transsexuals seek extreme versions of their desired sex roles.  Feminism can best reach these people by example and by understanding the uncertainty which sex identity shift can bring and which extreme role-playing can mark.

3.  In writing, recognize that there are intersexuals and transsexuals who may be trapped in a no-person’s-land and who need solidarity from anti-sexist people.  Literature which insists that there are only women and men is conspiring unconsciously with sexist forces to crush those in between.

4.  In exclusively female groups, redefine what it means to be female so that male transsexuals may have at least partial membership before surgery.  It is just at this transitional point, when the transsexual is beginning to live in her new identity, that communication with wher sisters may be important in shaping her life-style and in getting a wider perspective on what it means to be a woman.

5.  Become involved in current gender research and treatment programs so that the feminist view may be represented.

To The Gay Movement:

1.  Do not put down transsexuals, intersexuals, or other unusual people (e.g., transvestites) for apologize or express condescending pity for them.

2.  Explain that gay people are those who wish to love a member of their own sex, while transsexuals wish to change sex.  This is the difference between sexual preference and gender identity, and it should be known in order to confront the confusion and needless conflict between transsexuals and gay people.

3.  Recognize that some female transsexuals will have male homosexual feelings and some male transsexuals will have female homosexual feelings.  Such people should be welcomed to their respective groups.

In general:

Although transsexuals and intersexuals can organize themselves, they cannot make progress without help since they are such a small minority.  Recognizing the problems of intermediate people would be a humane step for anti-sexist groups and a move toward a freer view of sex and gender for everyone.  It would help bring to an end the two-genderism which is being challenged in genetic research but not yet in social reality.

I should say something about my obligations as a transsexual to the larger movement.  First of all, I feel committed to such issues as child-care and abortion, even though I shall never be able to bear or father a child.  I shall always try to be sensitive to the ways in which I have profited by male status, however much I have lost emotionally: for school and job simply being male was an automatic bonus.  Of course, I will be renouncing this status, but I cannot renounce the very unjust benefits I have received and which are now unerasable history.  I shall join with the Lesbian movement, while as a bisexual female I shall try to have the strict dichotomy between gay and straight removed (as Kate Millett has tried to do).  My main feeling is that I want to love human beings; sex and gender should not be determining factors.  At the same time, I do not put down those who happen to prefer one sex or the other.  It is a question of taste, becoming a problem when one taste is almost forced and another is repressed.


"Shut down your blog"

In recent events that have been going on Jon’s Twitter for these past few weeks I was expecting plenty of feedback and flack in my inbox. I don’t mind reading other people’s opinions and I’m a firm believer of looking at both sides of the spectrum, even when I find myself strongly disagreeing on one side versus the other. And yeah it sucks when people leave an angry inbox chewing you out about how you’re a nazi (fun fact: I’m not a nazi) but I understand how emotions can take over in these kind of situations, especially when the politics being discussed is relevant in one’s life. I’ve gone over so many tweets, tumblr posts, YouTube videos, etc. going over the context of what has been said by both Jon and everyone who responds to him and it’s allowed me to do a lot of critical thinking. There are things that he has said that I agree with and other things I definitely do not agree with but I always ensure to try and look at things in a different perspective to see what may have caused them to say what was said and why (another way to think of this is: being a liberal trying to understand a conservative point of view or vice versa.) I am not Jon. I am simply a long time fan of his who has enjoyed his work throughout the years. I only say this so that people understand that what he says does not necessarily represent my own personal morals and values. I started this blog back in 2014 and never anticipated for it to grow as much as it has, but people have consistently sent me the nicest messages about how much they enjoy the blog and how it brings fans together, and that is why I run it! To those who have sent me messages asking me to remove this blog, I once again want to acknowledge that I understand why you may feel that way and I have no intention of making anyone upset or uncomfortable. However, I only ask in return that you can understand where I come from when I say that I don’t wish to remove my blog as it is something that I have found to have brought a lot of good in past events, and it will certainly strive to bring that good into the future. I only wish to continue to discuss the content of JonTronShow with my followers, no harm intended. Thanks for reading this long ass post and thanks for all the anons who sent me nice messages over these past few weeks I appreciate ya!

A good 90% of people’s expressed issues with separatism (and here I am referencing lesbian separatism but it applies to other kinds as well, broadly) can be easily boiled down to, “But you owe me your time, conaideration, and labor so stop being mean.” It seems many people’s problem is with the basic idea that marginalized people are allowed groups and spaces, more broadly, things to just themselves, even when those marginalized people are already under constant threat from other, sometimes related groups. When many contemporary popular queer politics are so profoundly lesbophobic, it should come as no surprise that eventually lesbians will do what is best for ourselves and limit our interactions with those politics. This is basic self preservation, and does not need justification as a political decision primarily because it is not done with some outrageous antipathy toward everyone else, but a recognition that it sucks to be a lesbian who has to interact with queer groups and spaces to find some LGBT community right now because these communities are so constantly antagonistic toward us. We have been at the forefront of some of the most prominent and important activism to come from LGBT people, are now, and will always be- excuse us if being spat on constantly by these same groups means we want to have a few Facebook pages, or a few clubs, or a few groups, or a single parade where we are able to feel comfortable and not like we hsve to justify ourselves to people who allege to support us. You want lesbian work, drop the lesbophobia. This is simple. It’s not a matter of what works best for political change. It’s a matter of taking care of ourselves while repeatedly interacting with people who strongly disapprove of us.

This is why I’ve said repeatedly that separatism is, yes, poor politics- I am a Marxist, which necessarily means I should stress broad political movements as key to praxis, coalitions are just better suited for bringing about mass change, I do not think that only people I personally like and get along with deserve liberation from capital, etc- but a really powerful tool for organizing ones personal life, because the second I started prioritizing my relationships with other lesbians, and then to some extent with other women generally with bi women prioritized well above straight women, I just added so much depth to the way I see myself as a member of a group of really wonderful and powerful women.

I just don’t think it is at all a coincidence that you also see separatist strains pop up among other marginalized groups- women broadly including straight women, trans women specifically, black lesbians specifically, black people broadly, and so on- and see the same sentiments expressed in each case that they’re tired of doing work and being neglected. If these strains distress you so much (which is your personal problem and should be dealt with as such- don’t like separatism then don’t become a separatist) then you should work on eliminating the very real need for them so they stop being a lifeline and become another in a broad array of healthy options for how we live our lives.

  • me: Police Brutality is a serious issue we need to -
  • One Of Those People: HAH! Bleeeeding heart liberal... Still crying from Brexit, snowflake? I care about PROTECTING OUR WOMEN FROM RAPIST IMMIGRANTS! Ever thought about THAT? Also stop taking my money for your precious welfare. We don't need public services, I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR SOME GYPSY'S TATTOO REMOVAL... All Germans are Nazis and I support nuking the entire middle east to kill a few terrorists - EVERY MUSLIM IS A TERRORIST BY THE WAY. Why not just let everyone into our country? Give them our food and let them kill our children. Also I hate faggots and trannys, they're all rapists and paedophiles. The wage gap doesn't exist. I identify as helicopter HAHA get the joke? Go cry into Killary's loser liberal pantsuit shoulder, libtard, I actually have forgotten what your original point even was I HATE EVERYTHING!!!