why have i never found this before

“we met right here. i took this man’s hand and we ran down that hallway. and those of you that know me know i’m not in the habit of taking people’s hands that i’ve never met before but i think my soul knew something that my body and my mind didn’t know yet. it knew that our hands were meant to hold each other. fearlessly and forever. which is why its never really felt like i’ve been getting to know you, its always felt like i’m remembering you from somewhere. as if in every lifetime you and i have ever lived we’ve chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love, over and over, for all eternity. and i just feel so lucky that i found you so soon in this lifetime because all i want to do, all i’ve ever wanted to do, is spend my life loving you. so kurt hummel My amazing friend, my one true love, will you marry me….”

3 Years of the Klaine proposal Happy anniversary

I found many people editing my artworks without my permission. I have mentioned before that I never allowed anyone to edit my works.

Also, why the fuck would some people erase my watermarks? That is not respecting me at all. I really feel upset about that.
I’m going to make my instagram account in private and deactivate my tumblr if this happens over and over again.

Please I said it. Don’t edit my works and don’t erase my watermark. And PLEASE credit me when you post my works.


When after a long time searching you finally find a long, well written and interesting fanfic

Retired prison cop shoots two unarmed men in Brooklyn subway station.

A 69-year-old retired correction officer shot and killed a young black man in his 20’s, and wounded a second man, after a short dispute in Borough Hall subway station in Brooklyn Tuesday night, police sources said.


Of course the ex-officer says the two tried to rob him with a knife, but detectives found no weapon on either of the young men.

Shonda, didn’t you just write this episode?  Somebody call Olivia Pope.

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You asked me to be yours on a fall
evening as we laid in separate beds.
Even though we were apart, we
couldn’t get the other out of our heads.
With no hesitation I said yes, never with
a second guess.

Two. Three.
The packages we sent wrapped in
love and laced with the scent of our
smell, the first time I held something
of yours my tears had fell.

Four. Five.
I have found myself staring at the
map, point A to point where you’d
be. Goddamn these miles keeping
you from me.

Six. Seven.
Why is the craving of your skin
against mine the only thing that
causes pain and pleasure? No
one understands that the simple
touch is a treasure.

Eight. Nine.
The late nights of I love you. I love
you more. The thought still haunts
me, I’ve never felt this way before.

I say, “I know I am a handful, I know
I am a complete mess.”
He says,“That doesn’t make me love you
any less.”

I could cry, not because you’re gone
but because you’re still here. Everyone
else in the past just seemed to disappear.
I have realized that all the loves I’ve laid
to rest, have led me to only the best.
Just stay with me for as long as we continue
to exist, hold my hand so tight until
there’s a purple wrist.

—  i.c. // “Eleven Months”

My Spirit, My Soul.

Whatever you call it, its that feeling you never can quite shake.
Its longing for something special, but what exactly?
Perhaps its that moment when your standing in a room full of people and think to yourself … “Am I really the only one? There really is no one else like me is there? Why am I the only one?”

This is how I used to feel before I found what I was looking for.
I have this memory from back when I was in Middle School.
I had just started to wear eye liner and begin softening my personal style, but the backlash I got from it just tortured me. Everyday I was picked on and punished for just outwardly expressing myself. But back then I just thought everyone hated me, I didn’t realize it was just because I was different. I remember asking my mom one day “Mamma, when will this end? When will people stop hating me! I don’t understand what I am doing wrong?” She told me not to worry about it and just keep taking one day at a time. She said it was just a phase and one day it’ll get better. I am glad that I trusted her in that moment because she was right about one thing. Things definitely got better!
But that phase…
it never ended.
Nothing ever changed about how people treated me for just being me.
But I changed, and that’s all that matters.

After high school was dead and gone, I searched for the others. The people like me, the ones I could relate to, the ones that could relate to me.

Finally, I found where I was looking for. I learned what the feelings where that I was having. I learned what to call them, I learned what not to call them, I learned about how others express these feelings, I learned…. so much.

Before I knew it, I was not that kid in middle school anymore.
I was a strong, gender variant individual who had come full circle.
I found the others and embraced my identity to its fullest potential.
When I did this I became the happiest I had ever been in my life.

Now, I want to help others who were like me by releasing inspiration out into the open for everyone to see. That is why I started this blog.
That’s what House of Alexzander is all about.
Right now it just looks like a fashion blog, but that’s right now.
Tomorrow, and each day after is an evolutionary process that is transforming this blog into more than just gender variant fashion post.
A magazine, a radio station, a TV channel, a clothing brand, a social network… you name it.

This is my heart. My soul. My life goal, and I will take it as far as I can with the time I have left in this world.
More than anything though, I am glad that I get to share it with you.
-Elliott Alexzander


rhcp on yonge st, toronto, july 22nd 1999

I have never been in love until now. It’s weird, it’s beautiful, it’s painful and awkward. But I feel something I’ve never felt before and it’s wonderful. That’s why something broke inside me when I found out I could lose you.
You’re so fucking far away anyways and I would be there if I could, but I can’t. And I know things are hard and it gets harder and harder, but I love you. You’ll never know, though. I suck at telling you how much you make me smile.
And how scared I am every time you don’t reply to my texts. I don’t want to lose you. I would rather live by being worried everyday than lose you.
And if I lose you now… It would be so cruel. I would be destroyed. I would think it was my fault, even though it can’t be. What did I tell you last time we talked? Did I tell you that you’re dumb? Did I say “brb” instead of comforting you? Did I act like a cold, heartless person?
I should have said “I love you” instead.
I think Felicity’s too invested because in the past three years… Shes found something she loves so much more than sitting behind a computer. She doesn’t feel like computers are her only friend now, which is really sweet.

Emily Bett Rickards, Superhero Con 2015

I love this. Here’s why.

Everyone always talks about how Felicity is Oliver’s light. But no one ever talks about how Oliver is Felicity’s rock.

This girl had nothing in Starling before Team Arrow. She had no family. A job that she was sinceriously over qualified for. She never mentioned having friends, so I don’t think she had many. It’s like she was all alone in this giant city. I can truly see her being the outcast of the group because she’s awkward and nerdy and talks a lot. And people don’t appreciate that. She probably tried really hard to make friends when she first got there. Remember she graduated early, so the people that were her age probably thought she was some genius, and the people she graduated with probably thought she was a freak. And people probably made fun of her because she babbled and went on tangents and knew random facts about random things. So she turned to computers, because they didn’t judge her. They didn’t care if she knew what every state capitol was in alphabetical order, or that she could code a program in her sleep. And she was probably really happy about that. Happy that she found a place where she didn’t have to worry about people staring at her or making jokes. She probably missed human connections, but she didn't’ want to put herself out there to get hurt again. But she missed babbling, which is probably why when we meet her, she babbles incessantly, because it’s been pent up forever.

But then Oliver and Digg walk into her life. And they become friends with her. They accept her quirks, and they love her computer skills. They accept her. Wholeheartedly. Unlike her family, who either deserted her, or complained that she wasn’t trying to be a girl hard enough. Oliver grounded Felicity. He became someone she could count on. Someone who would be in her life no matter how much she babbled, or regardless of how long she spent on a computer trying to solve something. Oliver made her feel important. He showed her that she could be herself and still be loved. She didn’t have to be like everyone else. That she was perfect, just the way she was.

So that. That is why I love that Emily said this. Because for a long time, computers were all Felicity had. Until she met Oliver and Digg. And then, she had friends. But more importantly… She had family.

I have this little headcanon that Spark probably never really catched a pokemon. At least the ones in his main team. Let me explain this:

His first pokemon was his jolteon, alright. When he was a kid he was going home and he suddendly saw this little thing at one side of the road, so like every child he went to check it up because he was curious and surprise! He found a little weak eevee in a very poor state, so being the sweet caring child he was (and still is), he didn’t think twice before picking the little thing and bringing him home. Spark never really knew if his buddy was like that because another pokemon really strong fought him or if it was a bad trainer that didn’t like him, and he really didn’t care, he just took care of the little eevee until he was healthy again, but when tried to let him go the eevee stubbornly refused, and that’s basically how Spark got his first pokemon.

He didn’t even care if he could fight or not, he wasn’t going to force him to do something he didn’t like and that’s how the eevee learned to love and trust this pure and precious child. So the time passed on and eventually eevee evolved into jolteon (ofc Spark asked him first if he wanted to evolve and even let him choose into what he wanted to evolve).

And boy, that was just the start. 

His whole team is probably a bunch of pokemon that other people probably doesn’t like. (And here goes too my headcanon for his pokemon team)

The awesome and powerful pidgeot that helps him bringing him stuff like some kind of lab assistant? An injured pidgey he found all alone somewhere in the streets.

That dinamic duo of gengar and crobat that likes to prank the people in his research building? They were two little zubat and gastly that nobody wanted because they were to weak for some people and to scary for other people

The raticate that likes to nap at his feet while he works? A small rattata abandoned by a trainer once he catched a best pokemon

The freaking huge gyarados that just lays in the lab tank and chills? A magikarp that of course nobody wanted because ‘why would you want to catch a magikarp? It’s useless, it’s easier to look for a gyarados’ (also I think that all of them have a tank, like a very big and nice tank, for the water type pokemon like gyarados and goldeen and seaking etc)

(There probably are a lot of other pokemon that could fit in here, but it’s late and i could’t think of other pokemon. Also, I like gengar)

These are the most loyal pokemon he got, because after they recovered from whatever they were suffering when he rescued them, Spark always let them choice if they wanted to stay or go. He probably has more pokemon that aren’t even into a pokeball, probably pokemons that for whatever reason weren’t comfortable enough to want to stay into one and he’s prefectly fine with this, so they just hang out around the building doing whatever they like without bothering the humans.

And just because they’re pokemon he picked up when they were small and inkured and weak it doesn’t mean that they are weak now, nu-uh, actually they are fucking strong, because they are really grateful towards this human who helped them and worried about them, so they wanted to become strong to never let down their trainer, and so whenever they could they trained a lot. And Candela is so freaking bothered by this, because Spark’s team can easily match her team in strenght and she’s like 'how the hell are your pokemon that srong I need to know’ and Spark is like 'I don’t know, everyone is always doing what they want until I need them to do something, aren’t they cool?’ And so Candela is screetching and keeps studying this but can’t fucking find an answer for this. (And probably the pokemon find this way too amusing)

And if somehow Spark is hurt, like badly hurt, by somebody (like, I dunno, team rocket or a bad guy like them) then the poor motherfucker who dared to do it will be in a hell of pain, not only would he have Candela and Blanche on his trail, but Spark’s pokemon too, because they are way too overprotective with their trainer (fuck I realized that Spark got a mama bear squad) and them for like a week or so they would probably be veeeeery wary around him, looking bad every stranger that approached him.

… damn this was actually a pretty short headcanon how did it evolve into something that big

I long for a place where courting is alive,
and you weren’t expected to take your clothes off to have fun
where an emotional connection came before the physical attachment

where true love was between two people and not the world,
i long for a place of just you and i,
a sacred place that no one knows about,
and I think I keep those the most hidden in the pages of my mind,
written solely for us,

i long for a different time.
there are no ghosts here,
people don’t get close to you just to disappear.

I watch movies filled with romance, respect -
there aren’t many guys like that, and why would there be?
in college, I could never fit in, and in my early 20’s I can’t seem to find what others have found,

pleasure with just sleeping from one bed to another,
but why would guys need to be romantic, and date me and know my inner most thoughts before a night together?
When I see girls just give it away for nothing?

I can understand why you’d sleep with someone if you love them, but if you don’t know them? What’s the point? It just cheapens it.

Before he connects with my body, I want him to connect with my mind, to be attached to me emotionally before he misses me physically.

I want a man who wants all of me not just parts of me.

it’s a new generation,
a new era, of numbness

and I couldn’t feel less like i belong,
my soul yearns for another place, another time,

where love was real, and feeling was alive.

Kaworu’s frame placement

Something that I’ve seen pointed out before in Eva meta but have never seen fully analyzed is the fact that, throughout both episode 24 of the original series and 3.0, Kaworu is consistently on the left side of the frame whenever he and Shinji appear in a shot together. Even in official art, Kaworu is usually placed to the left of Shinji.

So why is this? 

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Things I Have Experienced While Playing Pokemon GO

-A guy in a suit on the phone to his boss saying the reason why he was late to the call because “There was a Jynx and it kept escaping”

- Two old guys who had never played a Pokemon game before excitedly talking about the pokemon they caught and where some swarms and flocks are

- A little old lady down the street giving out water to passing trainers

- A huge mob screaming “CHARIZAAAAAARD” and running around the Sydney Opera House

-Hundreds of people swarmed on one hill where the Charizard was found

-Screams of Joy and Anguish coming from people who caught or lost the Charizard

-Hundreds of folks walking around with their phones attached to portable chargers

- Two young kids coming me and sharing information when they saw I had my phone out

Pokemon GO is a magical experience


Ok SOOOOO HI TAY! Here is my story leading up this moment. Last March you liked my photo on my Instagram and it was the best day of my life. Before that day I never thought in a million years the girl who I had loved and been to every show to go see for 7 years would see my face but you did. Then I attended the Philly show night one and MetLife in east Rutherford show which was almost 2 hrs away from me. A week after I attended that show you found me on here and followed me. For awhile I started to research going to one last show because I am going to moving out of where I am in the next couple months and after that I won’t be able to spend any money at all so I thought why not go all the way out and go see my favorite person ever. I am going to be attending your Greensboro NC show AND ITS 7 hours away from me. I have never ever traveled this far away from home by myself before. I’m bringing my friend Chris with me. Before I even bought these tickets I got so many crazy looks by friends co workers and family but honestly I don’t care because I work so hard between work and school and just being in the same room as you for one last time until we meet again at your next tour is worth it to me. I managed to get floor seats so il be in section C ROW 34!!!! I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU MY LOVE I LOVE YOU TAYLOR SEE YOU NEXT WEDNESDAY!!! 😘😘😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • Ending
  • Koronba
  • LcdDem

Dear Mom,

I cannot think tonight, I can only remember your short,
square hands, so warm.
When my small ones were blue with cold;
So deft with needles after dark, before the fire,
So quick when some sick neighbor wanted “Ann.”

Your temper, quick to flare, was held in awe,
And those who sought to snare my father’s gold
Soon found, to their dismay, he had a wife.
Your prim New England mother would have gasped to see
You standing with flashing eyes
Before strong men, until they cowered and turned away.

You never questioned why two small as we,
Should roam the hills all day with just a horse and dog for company,
But fed us on returning and asked
Who won the war – or caught the fish that got away.
We came to you for comfort, praise, or blame;
You had a quiet, humble faith in God and man.
Strange that I, who know this well, should have
So little faith in anything.


My grandmother wrote this poem in her late teens, before she met my grandfather and got married shortly after he fought in WWII. It was the late 1940’s. Her independence and fierce personal opinions fuel my strength decades later. 

Miss you, Grandma.