why dont i own a plaid shirt

Ive had this weird idea buzzing in my head So

what if after the waynes were murdered Alfred decided to get bruce Out Of Gotham and raised him in like Minnesota for a few years while shit calmed down in gotham and bruce wouldnt be surrounded by his Dead Parents House.

  • And well clark was raised in Kansas right? So hes a Southern Midwest Farm Boy
  •  which is very different from Northern Midwest City Boy bruce
  • they once almost murdered each other over whether its casserole or hot dish
  • Barry made the mistake of voicing his Bad Idea ‘arent they the same?
  • next day were headlines Flash found dead in Miami
  • bruce let slip a Y’all ONCE and has never lived it down
  • the boys will remind him Every Waking Moment
  • the day Alfred says it bruce dies
  • whenever clark pitches a plan to the league bruce will unfailingly comment ‘i mean its an interesting plan’ and its like 
  • *kill bill sirens*
  • bruce once asks clark about farming and growing crops  and clark is just *Touched*
  • when he asks why bruce mentions urban farming programs he’s looking to initiate in gotham
  • clark must physically restrain himself from making out with bruce bcus sustainable farming practices being made more widely available is apparently a New Kink he didnt know he had
  • bruce owns exactly 57 plaid shirts and No One can know
  • the bat kids find the stash one day and dont know whether to never speak of it again or steal them bcuz they are quality midwest plaid and the softest sturdiest shirts available
  • clark and bruce bond over their hatred of iowa
  • a b grade villain stumbles into town so the jl decide to let the younger ones fight for more experience
  • their plan is something ridiculous like planning to flatten all the mountains in the world so that it would be a truly perfect sphere
  • bruce and clark have war flashbacks of driving i94
  • the kids dont get a word in and the b villain is just Obliterated
  • everyone is confused but decide not to ask after the haunted looks on b and c’s face 

and idk probably some other stuff but this is just a self indulgent au feel free to add stuff or whatever

anonymous asked:

also kags cant dress for shit, he owns nothing but sports clothing, before his first date w hinata he somehow manages to ask yachi to help him dress himself (it involved a lot of blushing and stammering); & i hc that hinata has an accidentally really cute clothing style, like he doesn't /try/ to dress cute he just incidentally does (like overalls and cute patterned shit etc)

hahaha i’m loving these yesss

i ABSOLUTELY agree kageyama does not give a single shit about fashion, it’s almost always coincidental and a result of his natural beauty that he ever looks decent. he’s much too practical. if he happens to be wearing startlingly attractive skin-tight athletic leggings as a part of his jogging kit, it’s because they keep his legs warm and the mud off the back of his calves. if he wears a sleeveless hoodie that shows off his arms it’s because it was on the mannequin wearing the leggings! SO PRACTICAL. HE DOESN’T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT. IF HE DID HE’D LOSE HIS MIND. 

and if he happens to wear the perfect trousers and button-down for his first date with hinata it’s definitely because yachi manipulated the conversation so he’d ask her for help LMAO. 

she’d be like, “so, first date, huh? wouldn’t it be great if you dressed nicely for hinata? i hear he really likes when you wear that blue shirt.”

“which blue shirt?”

“the nice one!” (the only actual nice one he has.)

“uhhhhh…” yachi would watch him short-circuit with a fond expression, and then after a long pause kageyama would continue, red-faced, “come to my house and pick out my outfit. p-please.”

“that sounds like a great idea,” yachi would agree.

NOW, HINATA, I THINK… has a natural ability for picking things that just work out. he’s a little more emotional, more in touch, he actually engages with pop-culture unlike kageyama, so he’s definitely more likely to pick things that look good on him than kags. not that he’s trying to look hella fly (although it sometimes ends up that way), but he tends to go with the fashions and updates his wardrobe more frequently. it helps that natsu is in that stage where she’s growing really quick and his mom has to take them shopping often. :) he definitely has a short-sleeved floral button-down in his closet, maybe some awesome plum-colored jean shorts that offset his bright hair perfectly…. he maybe has overalls, maybe in mint green or light denim, and he owns a couple plaid shirts that bring out the color of his warm brown eyes. ^___^ some bowties for special occasions. haha. in every modern/canon hc i have he definitely owns a pair of white hightops that he wears with cuffed jeans. literally, countdown and kyeom and almost any au i’ve written so far he’s secretly wearing them even if i dont mention it hahaha.

he has a sort of effortless style about him and almost always looks good.

this is very confusing to kageyama, who cannot figure out why suddenly hinata’s eyes are SO BROWN, and he’s noticing how there’s gold tones in his hair and how his forearms are freckled peeking out from his rolled up sleeves, and his legs are tanned and lightly muscled under those tight shorts. WHAT THE HECK, WHY IS THIS SUDDENLY A PROBLEM. this happens daily, especially during school breaks when hinata can wear whatever he wants.