why don't you kill me already

6

Pictures of Cheritz’s newest merch: body pillow covers featuring the Defender of Justice 707 and Mr. Trust Fund Kid, Jumin Han. 

Themes are above, and are ‘Seductive Butler 707′ and ‘Possessive Jumin in a suit’. 

Interesting that Cheritz created 707′s off the fan poll, but there’s no mention of that for Jumin…and ‘provocatively disheveled looks’, Cheritz, you’re killing me. 

What went down in Dislocoeur
  • INTRO SEQUENCE
  • Ms. Bustier: in many fairy tales the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess, can anyone tell me why?
  • Rose: BECAUSE DO THE SMOOCHY THING
  • Ms. Bustier: that's not really an answer
  • Max: technically this only applies to 87% of fairy tales
  • Ms. Bustier: there's no way that number is correct
  • Ms. Bustier: maybe like 7% or 8% at most
  • Rose: DO THE SMOOCHY THING
  • Ms. Bustier: yes Rose we got that
  • Rose: DO THE SMOOCHY THING DO THE SMOOCHY THING DO THE SMOOCHY THING
  • Ms. Bustier: who are you even talking to
  • Ms. Bustier: are you saying that in the imperative
  • Rose: pls do the smoochy thing :( #ladynoir
  • Adrien: well I just wrote this poem time to toss it in the garbage with the rest of the fandom
  • Marinette: hmm I wonder what that hot guy threw in the trash
  • Marinette: ooh it's a poem!
  • Marinette: "roses are red, violets are violet, poetry is f**king hard, do the smoochy thing pls"
  • Chloé: hmm why is Marinette looking through the garbage
  • Sabrina: did you know there's an entire fandom in there?
  • Chloé: wow she must be really desperate
  • Max: kk Kim it's time for you to run along this route and meet your crush on a bridge
  • Kim: why is her route so convoluted
  • Max: idk but if you meet her on that particular bridge and give her this particular jewel you've got a 87% chance of success
  • Kim: there's no way that number is correct
  • Kim: maybe like 7% or 8% at most
  • Marinette: I say go for it!
  • Kim: kk, running now
  • Alya: NO WAIT COME BACK
  • Alya: NEVER TAKE ROMANTIC ADVICE FROM MARINETTE
  • Marinette: now imma write a poem to Adrien
  • Chloé: and imma break the hearts of a buncha tweens
  • Chloé: hey tweens! you see how fabulous I am? well I'm never gonna date you
  • Chloé: do you see what you're missing out on
  • Chloé: well that was fun anyway I hope one of you gets akumatized now
  • Chloé: F**K ALL Y'ALL TO THE END OF THE WORLD AND BACK
  • Chloé: b**ch I'm out
  • Kim: *goes to bridge*
  • Kim: this is the Pont des Arts, right?
  • Kim: so where did all the locks go
  • Kim: it's just panes of plexiglass
  • Kim: this is way less romantic now
  • Chloé: hey Kim
  • Kim: hey Chloé lemme smash
  • Chloé: are you for real
  • Kim: I got you blue AND yellow
  • Chloé: you're as pathetic as that meme
  • Kim: she doesn't want blue and yellow
  • Chloé: look I've got a buncha tweens clamoring after me now
  • Chloé: so you're like fourth in line at best
  • Chloé: BYE
  • Kim: what has my life come to
  • Hawkmoth: wow this is even more sad than usual
  • Hawkmoth: like, I actually feel really sorry for you
  • Hawkmoth: so here have an incredibly cool transformation
  • Dislocoeur: now we're talkin
  • Dislocoeur: I've got a bow and arrows!
  • Dislocoeur: pew pew pew!
  • Marinette: and now it's POETRY TIME
  • Alya: whaddaya got
  • Marinette: "roses are nerds, poems are easy, lemme smash pls bc I think you're hot"
  • Alya: wot
  • Marinette: wow romance really isn't all that great when you're honest about it
  • Alya: wow and here I didn't think you'd ever have enough experience with romance to figure that out
  • Marinette: ooh sweet burn
  • Marinette: btw that flying guy just shot you with an arrow
  • Alya: yeah that's where the sweet burn came from
  • Alya: and now I'm suddenly tempted to go confront Nino in a rap battle
  • Marinette: YES DO IT
  • Marinette: ok Tikki let's kick that flying guy's butt
  • Dislocoeur: hey it's Ladybug!
  • Marinette: no not yet
  • Dislocoeur: oops sorry
  • Marinette: Tikki, spots on!
  • Dislocoeur: there we go!
  • Ladybug: welp running away now
  • Dislocoeur: pew pew pew!
  • Chat Noir: hey Ladybug I've got a confession to make
  • Ladybug: look I already know you love me ok?
  • Ladybug: please don't endanger us by confessing what's already incredibly obvious when there's a supervillain trying to shoot us
  • Dislocoeur: *shoots Chat Noir*
  • Ladybug: that one's on him
  • Dislocoeur: yeah kinda
  • Chat Noir: now imma kill you
  • Ladybug: why
  • Chat Noir: because hate always wins
  • Ladybug: citation needed
  • Chat Noir: citation: the US election
  • Ladybug: ok fair point
  • Chat Noir: you just accepted anecdotal evidence as proof of a general claim
  • Ladybug: oops you're right
  • Chat Noir: now prepare to die
  • Dislocoeur: *tracks down Chloé*
  • Chloé: wow and here I thought you couldn't get any more ridiculous
  • Dislocoeur: imma shoot you now
  • Chloé: and give me the ability to make even sweeter burns than usual?
  • Dislocoeur: wait nvm that's a terrible idea
  • Chloé: wow even as a villain you can't succeed in anything
  • Dislocoeur: hey Hawkmoth can you Tier 2 akumatize me?
  • Hawkmoth: sorry buddy you're on your own
  • Ladybug: I gotta figure out how to dehateify Chat Noir!
  • Brain ghost Ms. Bustier: the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess
  • Brain ghost Rose: DO THE SMOOCHY THING
  • Ladybug: disclaimer—the following kiss is intended solely as a means of counteracting Dislocoeur's akuma-granted ability, and should not be interpreted in any romantic or otherwise non-platonic context
  • Ladybug and Chat Noir: *do the smoochy thing*
  • Rose: YES THIS IS PERFECT
  • Chat Noir: I don't remember any of that
  • Ladybug: good now end that f**ker
  • Chat Noir: *ends that f**ker*
  • Ladybug: well I guess we're done here
  • ROLL CREDITS
If Jamie and Claire could text: Bears and Wolves edition (When Jamie kills the bear in Drums of Autumn)
  • Claire: Jesus Christ jamie shouldn't you come to bed?
  • Claire: I want to put more salve on you
  • Jamie: aye soon
  • Claire: Jamie you got slashed by a BEAR
  • Jamie: aye it hurts but i'll do
  • Jamie: dinna want to be rude.
  • Jamie: Nacognaweto and the other lads are verra amiable, though we barely can understand one another
  • Jamie: but hey, guess what?
  • Jamie: they've taken to calling me...
  • Jamie: ready?
  • Jamie: ***BEARRRRR KILLERRRRRRR***
  • Jamie: now
  • Jamie: I'm no' one for self adulation on the whole
  • Jamie: ....but that's a braw name, that
  • Jamie: ye can call me that in bed anytime ye like ;)
  • Claire: of COURSE, darling
  • Claire: and you can call me ***Wolfslayer*** while you're at it
  • Jamie: ;D
  • Jamie: when ye kill yourself a wolf, mnd, let me know, and i'll get it painted on a crest for ye
  • Claire: ....
  • Claire: are you serious right now?
  • Jamie: of course!
  • Jamie: Auntie Jocasta could recommend a fine painter, I'm sure
  • Claire: NO, you arse
  • Claire: about the WOLF
  • Jamie: ... not following?
  • Claire: JAMIE...
  • Claire: come on
  • Jamie: what
  • Claire: ...SERIOUSLY??
  • Jamie: WHAT??
  • Claire: I HAVE killed a wolf
  • Jamie: ????
  • Jamie: no ye havena
  • Claire: **flails**
  • Claire: I certainly THE FUCK DID
  • Jamie: dinna be daft
  • Jamie: must ha been a dream ye had?
  • Claire: !!!!!!!
  • Claire: ummmMMMMMMMMMMMMM?????
  • Claire: I THINK I'D KNOW BLOODY WELL KNOW BETTER THAN YOU
  • Claire: SINCE IT WAS ME THAT KILLED IT????
  • Jamie: when, praytell?
  • Claire: pejrntpiuw4nr[gpiwng rpqiuebgr'on
  • Claire: when I got dumped out of Wentworth?
  • Claire: And it was snowing??
  • Claire: and I got attacked by a wolf???
  • Claire: and didn't have any weapons????
  • Claire: so I got it to bite my arm?????
  • Claire: and then got it round the throat??????
  • Claire: AND SNAPPED ITS NASTY NECK???????????
  • Claire: WITH MY OWN GD BARE HANDS??????????????????????
  • Jamie: whoa
  • Claire: ////YEAH////// YOU'D BETTER FCKING BELIEVE IT WAS WHOA
  • Claire: "whoa"
  • Claire: jesus h roosevelt christ
  • Claire: get NO credit
  • Claire: NO credit at all
  • Claire: istg if I had a cock there would be songs sung about it already
  • Claire: #YES ALL MEN
  • Jamie: WHY DO I NOT REMEMBER THIS??????
  • Claire: (well)
  • Claire: (to be fair it was at the abbey and you were very sick and troubled)
  • Claire: but i TOLD YOU the story, dammit!!
  • Claire: don't you remember??
  • Claire: mcrannoch sent me the pelt?
  • Jamie: !!! OH AYE !!!!
  • Jamie: but I just thought it was one he killed himself and just sent the fur as a gift
  • Claire: t y p i c a l
  • Jamie: but TRULY ssnch
  • Jamie: that's the most badarse thing i've ever heard in my entire life
  • Jamie: my wife the wolfslayer
  • Jamie: oOo
  • Jamie: just got chills
  • Jamie: and a cockstand
  • Claire: well that's something
  • Jamie: no really
  • Claire: oh i believe you
  • Jamie: ....a wee scrawny sassenach
  • Claire: HEY NOW!!
  • Jamie: killed a WOLF
  • Jamie: like
  • Jamie: a REAL LIVE WOLF.....BAREHANDED?????
  • Jamie: HELL
  • Jamie: TO
  • Jamie: THE
  • Jamie: YESsssss
  • Jamie: that's MY wife!
  • Claire: well you're late to the party but you've come in style
  • Claire: thank you darling
  • Claire: terrifying at the time
  • Claire: but yes, pretty bloody awesome in retrospect
  • Jamie: ye bet your sweet plump arse it is
  • Jamie: OOOOO!!!
  • Claire: ...cockstand?
  • Jamie: no
  • Jamie: (i mean yes but)
  • Jamie: .....can we get matching tattoos?
  • Jamie: wolfslayer and bearkiller?
  • Claire: ....
  • Claire: sure why not
  • Jamie: coolest damn wife of all damn time
  • <p> <b>Slytherin:</b> *is in an important meeting*<p/><b>Hufflepuff:</b> *calls"<p/><b>Slytherin:</b> "wait a moment this is an very important call I have to answer that."<p/><b>Hufflepuff:</b> "hey, are you free atm or did I interrupt something?<p/><b>Slytherin, while everybody stares at them for interrupting:</b> "now, I'm free. Why are you calling?"<p/><b>Hufflepuff:</b> "are you sure? I thought you had this meeting today.... But this thing happened and I thought if the meeting is already over... But I don't want to bother you..."<p/><b>Slytherin, while everybody is screaming at them because THE MEETING IS STILL GOING! :</b> "Naw it's fine. So tell me...who do I have to kill?"<p/></p>
GotG Vol. 2 Basically (spoilers)
  • Rocket: I'm gonna steal some batteries
  • Drax: HAHAHAHA
  • Peter: WHAT THE HECK MAN?!
  • Gamora: I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS
  • Nebula: Why am I here? Seriously let me go so I can kill Thanos
  • BabyGroot: I am Groot *so adorable*
  • _____
  • Ego: Peter, I am your dad
  • Peter: Oh... I was still lowkey expecting David Hasselhoff
  • _____
  • Yondu: EVERYONE STAY AWAY FROM MY SON
  • TaserFace: MUTINY!!!
  • Rocket: LMAO TASERFACE
  • Nebula: What the heck am I doing?
  • BabyGroot: *Adorably gives random crap to Yondu*
  • Kraglin: Yo
  • _____
  • Mantis: I can sense people's feelings
  • Peter: Okay sure
  • Mantis: You feel love for Gamora!
  • Gamora: WHAT? (Like I don't know already)
  • Peter: DAMN IT MANTIS, YOU COULD HAVE SAID I FELT HUNGRY
  • Drax: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....by the way you are so ugly
  • Mantis: Okay :D
  • Drax: Like seriously disgusting
  • _____
  • Peter: I'm so happy, dance with me, I know you like me ;D
  • Gamora: What are you talking about? (Of course I like you ;D) Don't get this the wrong way but something isn't right
  • Peter: WHY?! I'M HAPPY AND MY DAD IS A PLANET, YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS
  • Gamora: wow, that escaleted quickly
  • _____
  • Ego: I loved your mom and hated leaving you
  • Peter: Maybe we can finally be a happy family!!
  • Ego: Of course! You only need to help me kill everyone
  • Peter: What? ._.
  • Ego: Also, btw I killed your mom
  • Peter: WHAT THE----- YOU AREN'T DAVID HASSELHOFF
  • _____
  • Yondu: PETER, I HAVE COME FOR YOU SON!
  • Peter: I thought you wanted to kill me
  • Yondu: NO, I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU
  • Rocket: Yeah yeah yeah, LET'S BLOW THE PLANET
  • Nebula: Sup, I'm part of the team now, Gamora let me leave to kill Thanos already!
  • Mantis: I can help you guys too!
  • Drax: Thank you Mantis...you are ugly
  • Sovereigns: PREPARE TO DIE
  • Rocket: Groot, don't push this button
  • BabyGroot: I am Groot *adorably threatens to push deadly button*
  • Yondu: I AM MARY POPPINS, HE IS SO COOL
  • Peter: Pfff yeah HE is
  • _____
  • *THEY DEFEAT EGO AND YONDU (you know sad sad)*
  • Peter: Turns out Yondu was my David Hasselhoff
  • Nebula: I kind of wanna stay... but I'm going to kill Thanos, bye
  • Gamora: Good luck (see you in Infinity War)
  • Rocket: I promise to be less of a jerk now...at least I promise to try remembering it
  • Kraglin: This is an mp3,300 hundred songs
  • Peter: :O!!!!
  • Gamora: You know, I do kind of like you
  • Peter: I was just waiting for you to say it
  • Drax: Hey Mantis, you are beautiful...but only in the inside... DEEEEEEEEP INSIDE
APH America (and Mexico cause why not) and the States
  • America: Ok calm down everyone! Everything is fine! EVERYTHING IS PERFECTLY FINE!
  • States: NO IT'S NOT!
  • America: OK EVERYONE SHUT UP! OHIO I SWEAR TO GOD!
  • Ohio: IT'S NOT MY FAULT PEOPLE ARE STUPID!
  • America: MEXICO ALREADY HATES ME!
  • Mexico: Why am I here again? I will kill you if that clown wins.
  • Michigan: OH NO! PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO BE A RED STATE!
  • States: AAAAAH!
  • Mexico: Hey New Mexico got blue! That's good right?
  • New Mexico: I mean it's better than Trump I guess.
  • Mexico: Good job. I raised you right.
  • America: HOW ARE YOU CALM?!
  • Mexico: Well it's not my country sooo yeah. I mean I already have a bad president. Welcome to the bad president party my friend.
  • America: Ok everyone that's in the middle of the country! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!
  • Middle states: WE DON'T KNOW!
  • Mexico: Ok western states. I raised you first so I expect blue ok? Even though she's still bad but still.
  • Western States: *nods*
  • America: They are not yours so shush!
  • Mexico: They used to be mine until YOU decided to take them. And your starting to sound like Trump.
  • America: Don't compare me to that idiot!
Episode 2
  • Chloe: I'm a bitch.
  • Adrien: Stop being a bitch or I won't be your friend.
  • Jean Baptiste: Mr. Bear wouldn't want you to be a bitch.
  • Chloe: *sigh* Fine, I won't be a bitch anymore...
  • Hawkmoth: Why isn't she being a bitch?!
  • Chloe: I'm tired of not being a bitch! Fuck you, Jean-Baptiste!
  • Hawkmoth: You know what, we already did the 'Chloe is the monster of the week' thing. I'm in the mood for butler.
  • Jean-Baptiste: RAWR! Yo Chat Noir, who wants to steal some jewelery...?
  • Chat Noir: Oooh, me me me... Death to ladybug!
  • Chloe: GTFO my girlfriend!
  • Ladybug: Wow, that would have killed me.
  • Chloe: I know, right? Not being a bitch isn't so bad. Just, you know, don't go expecting it all the time.
  • The End.
2

Ladies and Gentlemen… brace yourself!!!

Rana Daggubati’s new look for 1945 (Madai Thirandhu)

  • Gryffindor: *slowly trudges into the room*
  • Slytherin: *noticing Gryffindor's lack of a ridiculously over the top entrance* Who died?
  • Gryffindor: My heart.
  • Slytherin: What's wrong? *steps closer and pulls out knife* Who do i need to kill because I can promise you that it will be painful
  • Gryffindor: I have a dilemma.
  • Slytherin: Oh. *sheathes knife* and what's that?
  • Gryffindor: I'm only on the first season of Sherlock. And I'm already obsessed. And I want SO BADLY to look up it up on tumblr because there are people just as crazy about it as me.
  • Slytherin: Ok, so why don't you?
  • Gryffindor: *pulls Slytherin very very close to her face and looks around as if she was under attack* SPOILERS.
  • Yoosung: Hey, Seven? Can I have some Honey Buddha Chips, please? *proceeds to take some chips*
  • Seven: *slaps Yoosung's hand away* No, I asked you in the store if you wanted something and you said no.
  • Yoosung: Yeah...but you always make it look good when you eat it.
  • Seven: I'm sorry, Yoosung. You should have thought of that when we were there already.
  • Yoosung: *moves closer to Seven and looks at him seductively*
  • Seven: Yoosung what are you-
  • Yoosung: *whispers ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in Seven's ear*
  • Seven:
  • Yoosung:
  • Seven: *gives Yoosung half of his chips*
  • Yoosung: *kisses Seven on the cheek* Thanks, babe.
Spring Awakening Songs Explained
  • Mama Who Bore Me: Give Me Sex Ed
  • Mama Who Bore Me Reprise: Give Us Sex Ed
  • All That's Known: Oppressed White Boy Wants Education
  • Bitch of Living: But Why Am I not Having Sex Right Now?
  • My Junk: I Masturbate Over You
  • Touch Me: Everyone is Lonely and Horny
  • Word of Your Body: Pain Kink
  • The Dark I Know Well: Sexual Abuse (I couldn't make this one funny)
  • And Then There Were None: Fuck the Only Person Left Who Cares About Me
  • Mirror Blue Night: Very Poetic Masturbation Sequence
  • I Believe: Church Kink
  • The Guilty Ones: We Sinned Instead of Going to Church
  • Don't do Sadness/Blue Wind: Please Don't Kill Yourself Moritz
  • Left Behind: Goddamit Moritz
  • Totally Fucked: Grown Ups Really Suck In Case You Couldn't Tell Already
  • Word of Your Body Reprise: Pain Kink Gay Edition
  • Whispering: Babies Make Everything Better
  • Those You've Known: All My Friends Are Dead
  • The Song of Purple Summer: We Know This Song is Meaningful But it Just Sounds High
Undertale - Starter Sentences
  • SPOILER WARNINGS AHEAD! Please proceed with caution. As always, feel free to change any pronouns/words to your liking.
  • "You're new here, aren'tcha?"
  • "Golly, you must be so confused."
  • "Hey buddy, you missed some."
  • "Is this a joke? Are you braindead?"
  • "You just wanted to see me suffer."
  • "Ah, do not be afraid, my child."
  • "Welcome to your new home."
  • "Here, take my hand for a moment."
  • "I should not have left you alone for so long."
  • "Surprise! It is a butterscotch-cinnamon pie."
  • "I want you to have a nice time living here."
  • "I have seen it time and time again. They come. They leave. They die."
  • "I am only protecting you, do you understand?"
  • "Hmph. You are just like the others."
  • "Attack or run away!"
  • "I know you want to go home, but..."
  • "I promise I will take good care of you here. I know we do not have much, but... We can have a good life here."
  • "My expectations... My loneliness... My fear... For you, I will put them aside."
  • "Do not worry about me. Someone has to take care of these flowers."
  • "Quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp."
  • "I will bathe in a shower of kisses every morning."
  • "Hmm... Maybe this lamp will help you."
  • "He's playing poker by himself. He appears to be losing."
  • "I can't be your friend!"
  • "I guess this means I have to go out on a date with you?"
  • "All that pressure to succeed... Really got to her..."
  • "You know what would be more valuable to everyone? If you were dead."
  • "You think I'm gonna be friends with you, huh?"
  • "We're gonna be best friends!!"
  • "Envision these vegetables as your greatest enemy! Now!! Pound them to dust with your fists!!"
  • "Uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something."
  • "Now he's an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood?"
  • "Yes, she scrawls her name in the margins of the notes. She names programming variables after her. She even writes stories of them together, sharing a domestic life. Probability of crush -- 101%."
  • "Yeah, you gotta save your money for college and spiders."
  • "D-Dude... I can't... I can't take this anymore! Not like this!! Like, [NAME]! I like... I like, LIKE you, bro!"
  • "I found a gun in the dumpster!"
  • "He's like, my robot husband. He just doesn't know it yet."
  • "You've still got time. Don't live like me. I'm 19-years old, and I've already wasted my entire life."
  • "Never interact with attractive people."
  • "Why do people find him so attractive? He's literally just a freaking rectangle."
  • "Future? What future? I'll probably be trapped at this stupid job forever."
  • "This was all just a big show. An act. [NAME] has been playing you for the fool the whole time."
  • "All so you would think she's the great person that she's not."
  • "Nice day today, huh? Birds are singing, flowers are blooming..."
  • "We could be like... Like a family..."
  • "You really are an idiot."
  • "Killing me is the only way to end this."
  • "If you let me live... I'll come back. I'll kill you. I'll kill everyone you love."
  • "Don't you realize that being nice... just makes you get hurt?"
  • "Let's go to the garbage dump!!"
  • "She's so confident... And strong... And funny..."
  • "I'm just a nobody. A fraud. All I've ever done is hurt people. I've told her so many lies, she thinks I'm... She thinks I'm a lot cooler than I actually am."
  • "If she gets close to me, she'll... She'll find out the truth about me. ... What should I do?"
  • "Let's roleplay it."
  • "I kiss her back... S...softly... I... l-look gently into her eyes... I START HOLLERING!! [NAME]!!! I LOVE YOU!!! [NAME]!!! KISS ME AGAIN, [NAME]!!!"
  • "...WHAT did you just say?"
  • "You don't have to lie to me. I don't want you to have to lie to anyone anymore."
  • "[NAME]... I want to help you become happy with who you are."
  • "Anime is real, RIGHT?!"
  • "[NAME] and I finished our training early. Very early. So I sent her home. Very home."
  • "Is that your ex? Gee, that's rough, buddy."
  • "OH MY GOD. Will you two just smooch already?!"
  • "It's all your fault. It's all because you made them love you."
  • "Your life will end here, where no one remembers you..."
  • "No! I don't need anyone!"
  • "[NAME]... Do you know why I keep doing this? Why I keep fighting to have you around?"
  • "I'm doing this... because you're special. You're the only one that understands me."
  • "I care about you, [NAME]. I care about you more than anyone else in the world."
  • "I'm not ready for this to end. I'm not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again."
  • "I'm so alone... I'm so afraid... [NAME], I... I... I'm so sorry."
  • "I always was a crybaby, wasn't I?"
  • "I wish I could tell you how everyone feels about you."
  • "I understand if you can't forgive me. I understand if you hate me. I acted so horrible. I hurt you. I hurt so many people. There's no excuse for what I've done."
  • "Maybe... The truth is... [NAME] wasn't really the greatest person."
  • "You're the type of friend I wish I always had."
  • "Take a deep breath. There's nothing left to worry about."
  • raphael, harshly: valentine tried to *kill* you or have you already forgotten?
  • simon: but he didn't.
  • raphael: you're not safe here; you belong with your clan
  • simon: i literally just settled in here and now you wanna play nice?? why do you do this? why now? you don't even need me
  • raphael, softer: please
  • simon: *raphael's hand on his cheek* fuck
Crown Princes of YA (Part two)
  • Maxon Schreave (The Selection): I found a new friend to induct into our circle of heirs to fantasy realms *whispers* and hopefully to l;ighten the mood of all our depressing situations.
  • Prince Kai (TLC): What's your story?
  • Cal Calore(Red Queen): I really don't belong here.
  • Dorian Havilliard(TOG): Why? What's wrong? It couldn't possibly be any worse than what we've already faced.
  • Cal Calore: My half brother and my stepmother manipulated me into killing my own father so now I've been exiled and lost my title and my family.
  • Maxon Schreave: Oh, that's... really sad. I'm sorry.
  • Prince Kai: Hey, you know what always helps for me when someone tries to steal my throne?
  • Cal Calore: What?
  • Prince Kai: Getting kidnapped by my girlfriend and her rebel group and then starting a revolution to try and fix this cruel, cruel world.
  • Cal Calore: *bursting into tears* My girlfriend and her rebel group already did that!
  • Maxon Schreave: *facepalms*

“On rewatching, I thought Jason’s reaction to Clifford’s entrance into the basement was really interesting. Think about it: you’ve been held hostage for a week and you know the Serpents are asking your mega-rich dad for a ransom. Finally, your dad shows up and - you’d be ecstatic, right? Relieved that you’re being rescued?

That’s not at all how Jason looks. He looks terrified. I think he knows already that Clifford is there to kill him. In fact, I think he planned to fake his death because he knew his father wanted to kill him. I’m not sure why yet, but I think he wanted to disappear because he was afraid for his life.”

(source)