why don't people like him i don't understand he seems really nice

p-dots  asked:

I was wondering if you knew anything about the situation with Billy the Asian Elephant at the LA Zoo? I just received an email from the Zoo that a city council motion was filed to remove Billy from the zoo, and they're still trying to fight to keep him. A lot of people claim he appears stressed which is why there's been a big fight to get him moved. I don't really know a lot about elephants so I don't really know what side is best to take or what sources to take seriously (other than the Zoo).

I’ve been following the story of Billy pretty closely. I’m glad you asked - it’s the sort of thing I think is really important to talk about, because people need to understand what’s going on behind the nicely framed stories about animal activism you hear in the media, but I’m never sure how much of that sort of animal industry politics followers are interested in reading. 

The reason this specific instance is so important is because it’s a hell of a lot more complicated than ‘sanctuary vs zoo, which is better for the animals’. The decision to go after Billy - and only Billy, and only right now - looks to me like a really strategic political decision from the animal rights movement, and it falls in line with what I’ve been researching the history, evolution, and MO of the animal rights movement. As I’ve been learning more and more about how animal rights organizations and their partnered sanctuaries conquer and divide to achieve the change they want to see, a very specific pattern of action has started cropping up and this situation exemplifies how they’ve learned to use legislation, the legal system, and the good intentions of the general public to remove animals from zoos. This explanation is going to seem a little bit like jumping at shadows, but this method of petitioning cities to seize zoo animals as assets - and the really conveniently timed fallout that would result from their success - is textbook animal rights organization planning. 

So here’s what you need to know - if Billy is sent to a sanctuary, the LA Zoo would lose their AZA accreditation. They’d likely then be subject to the new wild animal performance law that’s got major support in LA right now, because only AZA institutions would likely have an automatic exemption. The combination of loss of accreditation, potential inability to do public education and outreach, and the ability of the AR groups to spin the situation as ‘AZA kicked them out for being abusive to their elephants’ would massively damage the viability of the zoo as an institution for the foreseeable future… at which point AR groups could easily petition the city to seize more animals from the collection and send them off to sanctuaries, because it’s now “well known” what a horrible institution the LA Zoo is. That would normalize the idea that animal rights organizations and city officials with no professional animal experience know more about animal welfare than the best zoological institutions in the country, and would set a scary precedent regarding what sorts of institutions the public will accept the animal rights organizations condemning and removing animals from. With that sort of potential fallout - and all of the pieces of the puzzle having been successful, individually, within the last decade or so in regards to other animal rights campaigns - this really is not about a single elephant at all. 


AZA has this one really important rule in their accreditation standards, and it boils down to: any zoo they accredit must be considered the experts and have final say over the care of their animals. If anyone external to a AZA accredited zoo overrules that zoo’s choice of care for their animals in any way, that zoo loses their AZA accreditation because they are no longer viewed as having ultimate control over the welfare of their charges. This is really important when it comes to elephants, as the Toronto Zoo lost their AZA accreditation over exactly this situation: animal rights activists caught wind of TZ’s plan to transfer their elephants to a facility in Florida where they’d live in a bigger herd, and petitioned the city council to send the elephants a the Performing Animals Welfare Sanctuary (the same one they want Billy to go to, which has a known history of uncontrolled tuberculosis infections on the property to this day). The Toronto Zoo is a municipal zoo - which means its animals were city property - and the city council chose to claim the elephants as assets, ignore the evidence of animals with active TB already living at the chosen facility, and then overruled the Toronto Zoo staff’s due diligence about what choice would provide the best welfare for their elephants and sent them away to PAWS. Having been overruled by the city council and having lost control of animals in their collection, the Toronto Zoo lost their AZA accreditation. (They later reapplied and were re-accredited). 

So, if the animal rights activists can convince the city council to claim Billy as an asset and remove him to PAWS, it would really damage the LA Zoo as an institution. Their credibility in the eyes of the public would be destroyed, they’d lose exemptions from federal legislation due to losing their AZA status; they’d be forced to pull out of multiple major SSPs (because only AZA institutions are allowed to house animals in the Green level programs, of which LA zoo has number); they’d likely lose grant funding. What’s more, the zoo would then be subject to the recent law banning the use of any exotic animal in “entertainment”in LA, because if has the same structure as similar legislation we’ve seen in other states, only AZA facilities get an exemption. If true, that would mean the zoo would no longer be able to do education and outreach programs with their animals (and this law was backed by PAWS, the organization that runs sanctuary they’re trying to send Billy to). 

There’s a very specific reason that this whole campaign centers on Billy, not all three elephants, which is part of what makes it so clear this is a campaign with an end goal of damaging the LA Zoo’s AZA accreditation. Billy’s two elderly companions, Jewel and Tina, would be far better candidates to be sent to a sanctuary if welfare is really the concern driving the advocacy. They’re rescues from a private owner who were massively underweight and had chronic medical conditions, and it’s not as important for them to stay within AZA’s management as other elephants because they’re too old to contribute to the Asian Elephant SSP. The LA zoo has previously been willing to send older elephants to the PAWS sanctuary without needing intervention from the city council (that story is discussed below), so why is this newer campaign ignoring the elderly females and bypassing the zoo entirely by going to the city council when their welfare would likely be more improved by that sort of move? Jewel and Tina don’t belong to the LA Zoo - they’re officially part of the San Diego Zoo collection and on loan to LA - which means the city council can’t claim them as assets and forcibly remove them. The only elephant at the LA zoo that the LA city council has the ability to control is Billy, and so it’s pretty clear this is about getting the city council to overrule the zoo’s choices in caring for their collection and not about which elephants would benefit most from leaving the zoo environment. 

This is an attempt by the animal rights industry to undermine the LA Zoo as an organization - that much is clear. Billy is just a convenient figurehead and an animal that the public will empathize with while being completely unaware of the the ulterior motives behind the advocacy effort. It comes at a delicate time, too, as the LA Zoo is currently in the process of developing a new master plan for the future of the facility. That’s a future that would be massively impacted by a loss of accreditation and all the potential fallout that would go along with it. 


So that’s the context to the Billy situation, and why people are fighting so hard on both sides of the issue. But what the public really cares about here isn’t the politics, it’s the animal welfare, so here’s a look at history and the welfare of the elephant at the center of all this furor. 

Billy at the LA Zoo. (Photo Credit: San Diego Blogs)

Billy is one of three elephants at the LA Zoo - he’s the youngest, at 32, and the only male. Billy is kept separated from his two elderly female companions, Jewel and Tina, because he’s young enough to still want to reproduce and would injure the elderly ladies if he tried to mount them. However, while the elephants are always separated by a barrier, the exhibit was designed with heavy-duty wire fences that meant the elephants could always be able to see, hear, and touch each other through it. The LA Zoo Asian elephant exhibit is one of the biggest elephant habitats in the United States at 6.5 acres (with almost four acres of yard space), and was opened in 2010 - the construction of a state-of-the-art habitat was part of the resolution from the first time animal rights activists demanded the elephants move to a PAWS sanctuary. 

In 2006, an elderly Asian elephant named Gita died at the LA Zoo. It’s not clear what led to her ending up in position she did, but she was found laying on her back legs with her front legs stretched in front of her. Nothing they did could entice her to stand back up, and she eventually died as her body weight crushed her own tissue and the toxins released during that process overloaded her kidneys. (While this sounds brutal, it’s worth keeping in mind that this is likely how many elderly large animals die if they lay down for the last time in a position that puts their weight on their own body). Animal rights activists had already been agitating for the LA Zoo’s elephants to be sent to a sanctuary, and they used Gita’s death as momentum to push for Billy and the other female housed there at the time, an african elephat named Ruby, to be transported to a sanctuary where it was claimed her welfare would be much higher than at the zoo. The LA Zoo eventually caved to public pressure and chose to send Ruby to PAWS (keeping their AZA accreditation by doing so voluntarily) where she was immediately housed with other animals without a proper quarantine period, exposed to animals who were TB positive and were not diagnosed until after death, and eventually died herself in 2011 from an unknown disease that looked suspiciously like TB (PAWS declined to send out samples for testing, despite what appeared to be physical symptoms observed during the necropsy). 

Gita at the LA zoo in 1999 in the old exhibit. ( Photo Credit: Al Seib / Los Angeles Times)

Billy remained at the LA Zoo after Ruby left, and the organization undertook a 42-million-dollar elephant exhibit renovation with the intention of bringing in another breeding male and a number of females as part of the Asian Elephant SSP. In 2007, local activists sued to halt construction of the exhibit with the goal of removing elephants from the LA zoo permanently and forcing Billy into a sanctuary - after a case that was drawn out for a number of years and repeatedly stalled exhibit construction, the judge assigned instead that the LA Zoo was allowed to continue exhibiting elephants but was required to exercise them frequently, make regular exhibit improvements such as tilling the soil, and banned the use of tools such as bullhooks and guides at the facility. When the new elephant exhibit opened in 2010, the LA zoo decided to put breeding plans for Billy on hold in order to house a pair of bonded female Asian elephants - Jewel and Tina - who had recently been removed from a private owner who had neglected their medical care. 

The three elephants share access to the large, heated elephant barn and have 24/7 access to five unique outdoor yards. Each yard has a substrate of soft sand that is tilled regularly to keep it from becoming compacted and hard - the shifting motion of the sand helps keeps the elephants in shape as they walk over it - and each yard has unique features like puzzle feeders, bathing pools and waterfalls. 

Browse and treats are placed at unique locations around all the yards each day, encouraging the elephants to explore their environment anew each morning. In addition, a comprehensive environmental enrichment program makes sure the elephants always have novel objects and stimuli to interact with and a daily training session (which the public is able to watch as a demonstration most days a week) keeps them mentally engaged by practicing foot care, grooming, practice for any veterinary behaviors that might be needed, as well as strength- and balance-focused exercises.

The AZA accreditation standards - which cover general animal policy in 34 pages, and use another 12 to cover animal interactions with the public or use in education programs - have dedicated 32 pages specifically to the regulations regarding elephant husbandry, training, nutrition, body condition, enrichment, and welfare assessments. As a large AZA-accredited zoo that frequently falls under the celebrity-studded, critical eye of the local populace, it’s inconceivable that Billy’s care (and that of Tina and Jewel) is not in accordance with these highly detailed requirements. 

Photos of the new LA Zoo elephant exhibit. (Photo credits: The Portico Group).

The LA Zoo’s elephant exhibit, finished in 2010, was designed by The Portico Group, a design firm founded in Seattle, WA in 1990. The Portico Group’s exhibit designs consistently awards every year within the industry for their incorporation of the newest animal welfare science and management technologies as well as educational and interpretive options. Their design for the LA Zoo is on par with the quality of the rest of their designs, and features a similar amount of yard space for the elephants as the design they created for the widely-praised Cheyenne Mountain Zoo’s Africa expansion that opened in 2013. 

Billy in his habitat at the LA Zoo. (Photo Credit: AP Photo/Richard Vogel)


One of the biggest reasons people express a concern for Billy is a head-bobbing behavior he’s been known to perform his entire tenure at the LA Zoo. The public is aware that repetitive behaviors (called stereotypies) can be signs of low quality welfare, and often worry that means that Billy isn’t being well taken care of at the zoo. However, one thing that isn’t commonly known about sterotypical behaviors is that once developed, they rarely go away once the animal is in a better welfare situation - which leads guests to often misunderstand an animal’s behavior as it relates to their current care. 

The LA Zoo has studied Billy’s head bobbing behavior over the years, and concluded that it appears to be an anticipatory behavior rather than one brought on by stress, as it mainly occurs when the elephant is awaiting the arrival of food, expecting a keeper interaction, or getting ready for movement into another area of his habitat. They also found that Billy had been noted to be displaying the head bobbing behavior when he came to the zoo at age 4 and that it was not something not something he developed during his life at the facility. 

Just because the behavior doesn’t mean that Billy has low welfare in his situation at the LA Zoo doesn’t mean the staff just want to leave him to bob and sway: to help decrease the amount of head-bobbing Billy does and engage him in a range of other behaviors, the keeper staff change their husbandry routine slightly each day and provide enrichment at different times in order to keep him investigating his environment instead of standing and waiting for regular occurrences. 


At the end of the day, Billy’s welfare does not appear to be the impetus pushing this current furor around “rescuing him” - he’s a convenient figurehead for what appears to be a well-coordinated attempt to undercut the LA Zoo’s credibility and accreditation status. 

But even though the actual welfare of the elephant is irrelevant to the organizations pushing this agenda, the general public is now very invested in understanding Billy’s welfare in regards to the outcome of this situation. 

The sanctuary animal rights activists are recommending Billy be sent to has multiple issues with basic elephant husbandry and medical treatment. PAWS was unable to evacuate their elephants in when threatened by a massive wildfire in 2015, due to their policy against doing even the most basic husbandry training with their animals that would have allowed them to be walked into a trailer or crated for transport. Instead, the animals were sheltered on site as the fire came within a few miles of the facility, putting them through massive amounts of stress and resulting in probable smoke inhalation. PAWS frequently take in animals that are reported as healthy upon transport, only to report having to euthanize them within a few years due to crippling chronic conditions. Most concerning is that PAWS appears to be plagued by frequent tuberculosis outbreaks among their elephants, potentially with multiple strains of the disease, despite their stated adherence to biosafety protocols -and that they have had at least one animal die while sick with active, contagious TB infections that were only discovered post-mortem. 

Billy is currently housed in a modern elephant habitat that was created in accordance with best practices for elephant management by outstanding architects - a remodel that was done specifically in response to the original welfare concerns about LA Zoo’s elephants in the late 2000′s. He has access to state-of-the-art veterinary medicine and is cared for by a dedicated team keepers who practice medical treatment behaviors, like foot care, with him daily to ensure that he can quickly receive treatment in a stress-free setting if it becomes necessary in the future. LA Zoo’s elephant keepers work hard to keep Billy active, mentally stimulated, and make sure he has plenty of positive social interactions with both the human and elephant members of his herd. 

If the goal of the general public is Billy’s welfare, he is far better off in a habitat designed for him to inhabit with the staff he has known for a better part of two decades than being sent across the country to a facility with massive red flags in their elephant management program just to fulfill a political movement’s agenda of damaging the facility that holds him. 


Citations under the cut. 

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Dresden Files Books Rated By The Opening Line
  • Storm Front: "I heard the mailman approach my office door, half an hour earlier than usual. He didn't sound right. His footsteps fell more heavily, jauntily, and he whistled. A new guy. He whistled his way to my office door, then fell silent for a moment. Then he laughed."
  • Easily one of the weakest in the series. 3/10.
  • Fool Moon: "I never used to keep close track of the phases of the moon. So I didn't know that it was one night shy of being full when a young woman sat down across from me in McAnally's pub and asked me to tell her all about something that could get her killed."
  • Nicely ominous. Thanks to this book, I also keep track of the phases of the moon. Helped me catch a local werewombat. You have no idea how hard it is to put one of them down. 8/10.
  • Grave Peril: "There are reasons I hate to drive fast. For one, the Blue Beetle, the mismatched Volkswagen bug that I putter around in, rattles and groans dangerously at anything above sixty miles an hour. For another, I don't get along so well with technology. Anything manufactured after about World War II seems to be susceptible to abrupt malfunction when I get close to it. As a rule, when I drive, I drive very carefully and sensibly. // Tonight was an exception to the rule."
  • Not bad, per se, but not all that good. It takes too long to get to its point, which makes it not as good of a hook. 6/10.
  • Summer Knight: "It rained toads the day the White Council came to town."
  • This one makes me giggle. 8/10. Good job.
  • Death Masks: "Some things just aren't meant to go together. Things like oil and water. Orange juice and toothpaste. // Wizards and television."
  • Very relatable. I, too, am no fan of toothpaste in my orange juice. I used to put toothpaste in my orange juice all the time and had no clue why my orange juice tasted so bad. I mean, who knew? 9/10.
  • Blood Rites: "The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."
  • There is no need to explain perfection. 15/10.
  • Dead Beat: "On the whole, we're a murderous race. According to Genesis, it took as few as four people to make the planet too crowded to stand, and the first murder was a fratricide. Genesis says that in a fit of jealous rage, the very first child born to mortal parents, Cain, snapped and popped the first metaphorical cap in another human being. The attack was a bloody, brutal, violent, reprehensible killing. Cain's brother Abel probably never saw it coming. // As I opened the door to my apartment, I was filled with a sense of empathic sympathy and intuitive understanding. // For freaking Cain."
  • One of the all time greats of this series. Lovely illustration of how Dresden feels and catches people up on his relationship with his brother really quick. 10/10.
  • Proven Guilty: "Blood leaves no stain on a Warden's grey cloak. I didn't know that until the day I watched Morgan, second in command of the White Council's Wardens, lift his sword over the kneeling form of a young man guilty of the practice of black magic. The boy, sixteen years old at the most, screamed and ranted in Korean underneath his black hood, his mouth spilling hatred and rage, convinced by his youth and power of his own immortality. He never knew it when the blade came down."
  • Dark. Really sets the tone for the book. Also, I'm, like, totally jealous. Blood stains are the worst. 8/10.
  • White Night: "Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are."
  • I know, right? It's, like, I thought this guy who came into work would be just a normal customer and get his stuff and leave, but, instead, he rants about conspiracy theories and shit when I can't tell him to fuck off. 9/10. Good job.
  • Small Favor: "Winter came early that year; it should have been a tip-off."
  • Not bad, but kinda weak. I mean, did he even consider that maybe winter came early because Global Warming is actually a hoax? I mean, it isn't, but couldn't he at least consider the possibility? 6/10.
  • Turn Coat: "The summer sun was busy broiling the asphalt from Chicago 's streets, the agony in my head had kept me horizontal for half a day, and some idiot was pounding on my apartment door. // I answered it and Morgan, half his face covered in blood, gasped, 'The Wardens are coming. Hide me. Please.'"
  • It's just, like, whaaaaaat? Why's Morgan here? How'd he get all bloody? And, like, he even snuck in some nice foreshadowing with the headache. Really well done. 8/10.
  • Changes: "I answered the phone, and Susan Rodriguez said, 'They've taken our daughter.'"
  • Nice and shocking, making you want to read more, but the last book did a similar shocking opening better. 5/10.
  • Ghost Story: "Life is hard. // Dying's easy."
  • Totally relatable. I, like many others, wish for death because life is too hard. Thanks for making me feel better, Harry. 8/10.
  • Cold Days: "Mab, the Queen of Air and Darkness, monarch of the Winter Court of the Sidhe, has unique ideas regarding physical therapy."
  • One would imagine. I mean, did you hear her TED talk on it? Fascinating stuff. She's an innovator in the field. 7/10.
  • Skin Game: "There was a ticking time bomb inside my head and the one person I trusted to go in and get it out hadn't shown up or spoken to me for more than a year."
  • Don't you just hate it when you have a time bomb in your head? I know I do. But not all of us know bomb defusal experts. We're not all as lucky as you are, Dresden. I had to defuse my time bomb myself. Dick. 4/10.

anonymous asked:

Why do you further the cliché that sangwoo is into forcing Bum to crossdress? I thought the manwha made it clear that it was the logical consequence for him to wear sangwoo's mother's clothes because he didn't have any himself and sangwoo's didn't fit him due to the size difference. It's not a kink and shouldn't be portrayed as one. It was a disturbing solution to a clothing problem. Stop romanticizing this manwha and the abuse in it.

Oh sweet anon, if you want to have a proper discussion with me I’ll gladly have it with you but not if you feel the need to hide behind your computer/phone screen. But for now I’ll just try and clarify, not because I owe you anything, but I like clearing up misunderstandings and preventing more from happening.

I don’t know if you just don’t read Op’s tags or you just skim past them or whatever, but this, and all my other “shippy” fanart for that matter, is in an AU where they are both healthy people, no mental disorders, abuse or anything else from the original manhwa.

If you really want to think about it, the clothing size difference is not enough of an excuse for Sangwoo not to give Bum his own clothes. How many people do you see wearing over sized shirts and belts exist for a reason. I’m not saying Sangwoo has that kink, but come on, he did that on purpose. 

Relating to my own mini comic that I just posted, which I’m guessing is what you’re referring to, Sangwoo isn’t forcing bum into anything. It’s a silly dare that Yoon Bum could easily say no to. Except in my AU Bum actually likes cross dressing, a lot of people do and there is nothing wrong with it. I like drawing boys who cross dress, because guess what, they’re just clothes. They don’t define anything. You’re welcome to not enjoy cross dressing but that is your own opinion that I never asked for. 

 I will never romanticize the abuse that’s in killing stalking. There’s nothing cute or sexy about people harming others or holding them captive. The only instance where inflicting pain on others would be acceptable is in cases where it is consensual, such as BDSM, but I am no expert in that area so I can’t comment much on it either. 

All I’m saying is, this is a completely separate world from the original. I love the characters and their designs and I love exploring different ideas and scenarios with them, that’s the whole purpose of having an AU. Again, you’re welcome to disagree, and if you don’t like it, please ignore it. Sorry if my art rubs you the wrong way, I can’t please everyone. I make art for myself, and I love and appreciate all the people that enjoy it with me. Feel free to block me or whatever you need to do, but in the future please try and refrain from sending negative messages to people, they do more harm than good.I hope you have a nice day anyway and thanks for giving me an opportunity to clarify my stance once more. 

anonymous asked:

Don't listen to these weird fangirls, it will really just melt your brain on some shit they do in Kyman. After I found some of their AUs (example is the one you reblogged) I cannot understand the stupidity of some people and their disrespectful behavior towards jews. I am not Jewish, but I respect the people who are and I would not like to produce content which would offend them :/ I don't want you to think over them to much, pls have a nice day!!

This post is going to be really fucking long so hold onto your horses ladies, gentleman, and non-binary folks.

Here’s the thing that I really don’t understand. The biggest responses I get when expressing my distaste of Kyman is “it’s just a show!!!” or “this happened in an episode so how can you be mad!!!!” or “it’s south park!!!!!” like….okay I get that. I also get that South Park is satire. For those who clearly do not understand, satire is the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. How Cartman is towards Kyle is a joke. It is not meant to be taken seriously. Cartman is a symbol of everything problematic with people. That is the entire point of his character. He is completely ignorant to most social issues, he is racist, sexist, and mostly prominently anti-semitic. That’s why I like watching South Park even as a Jew. Because I know it’s not serious. It’s all pointing out the flaws with our society by the use of comedy.

That’s why I hate Kyman as a ship. No matter what, Cartman will forever be the shitbag that he is because they need that kind of character. He will never understand why his actions are wrong, he will never change because the show needs that character. With all that being said, the fact that people ship Cartman with Kyle is very upsetting to me. As much as I feel like I shouldn’t have to use a comparison because I think all of the evidence I always present on this topic is valid and should be taken seriously on its own (the nazism, the slurs, ect) here’s one anyway because everyone seems to explain away those other things. Cartman is very openly racist towards Token. His he very ignorant towards race issues and has said and done horrible things to token (including shooting him). Say someone posted an AU where Token was a slave and Cartman was a slave driver or a plantation owner. Imagine people shipped them together in that way. Everyone would say how horrible that was. Everyone would shame the author/artist because it’s completely fucked up. People still justify these WWII AUs and other similar AUs and call it “hot” because no one gives a shit about Jews.

I will continue to beat this horse long after it’s dead, but no one cares if Jews get made fun of. We continue to be the butt of the joke in every sort of media. All minority groups get made fun of, but the true, disgusting hatred people project onto Jews is absolutely disgusting (i.e. Family Guy). People can say I’m blowing things out of proportion but until you live that life, having people constantly violently bringing down your religion, I’d think you understand. Jews only take up .2% of the world population. Point. Two. Not even a full percent. Not even a half of a percent because people hate us so much and actively try to wipe us out. However, over 62% of religion base hate crimes are towards Jews. Things have gotten to bad that my own synagogue has now added security guards and you have to be buzzed in just to be allowed to go to services. I’m sensitive. I’m angry. I hate that people don’t acknowledge how fucked up things are for us. And people actually ship someone who has tried to exterminate all Jews.

Let me make myself loud and clear; you are not fucking supposed to take Cartman seriously. He will never change. The fact that you care so little about Jewish people is disgusting and upsetting. The fact that you are so easy to brush off the fact that major storylines of your fandom include actual nazism is disturbing and upsetting. Cartman’s behavior towards Kyle is not meant to be romantic. It is meant to be satire of an ignorant little ten year old boy. Stop excusing his behavior as anything but what it is.

Let me state this again that I am still being very generous with my block button. The amount of slurs and other nasty names I get called on an almost daily basis because of this bullshit is truly disgusting so save your breath because I honestly don’t give a shit about your gross opinion.

(also to the anon who sent this I’m so sorry that it took me so long to reply to this but I wanted to make sure I had the time to sit down and write out an actual response which clearly I needed considering the length of this post lol)

Garrett and Marian Banters - Mark of the Assassin
  • Fenris: Manservant...
  • Isabela: Aw, Fenris got his feelings hurt
  • Tallis: It's just a cover
  • Fenris: I'd like to cover him with six feet
  • Marian: Seems a bit excessive. Where are you planning on getting all these extra feet? I'm not donating mine to the cause. Or are you hiding more on you, aside from the two attached to your legs?
  • Fenris: It seems that the last six years have not dulled your absurdity, Marian
  • ---
  • Marian: Remind me why we're /looking/ for the big scaly things that can kill us?
  • Garrett: You wanted to impress a cute elf
  • Tallis: You think I'm cute?
  • Fenris: *smugly* Unless you have suddenly taken to referring to yourself as 'he' and 'him', then I am afraid you are out of luck on that front
  • Garrett: They were /her/ words, not mine
  • Marian: What, she /is/ cute!
  • ---
  • Tallis: I told her not to touch it! What part of that didn't she understand?!
  • Garrett: You clearly don't know my sister. With her 'don't touch anything' means 'touch everything'
  • Tallis: But that makes no sense!
  • Garrett: You didn't grow up with her
  • ---
  • Tallis: So are you married?
  • Marian: Are you talking to me? Really?
  • Tallis: Well, it's just- You're the Champion of Kirkwall, or one of them anyway. Big. Important. I don't know... just wondering if there was a wife behind the throne?
  • Marian: *laughs uncontrollably* As if I'd be able to stand through the ceremony long enough!
  • Tallis: So the stories are true
  • Marian: Come on, I thought everyone and their grandma knew I have the attention span of a nug!
  • Tallis: I meant that you snort when you giggle
  • Isabela: Ooh, you got caught out Birdie!
  • Marian: Blast, my darkest secret revealed!
  • Garrett: That's nothing. When we were children, she used to- Hmph!
  • Marian: And that's enough out of you, little brother
  • ---
  • Tallis: So... you and Marian are together?
  • Isabela: Yep
  • Tallis: But you have no interest in marrying her?
  • Isabela: Why would I? I don't need a piece of paper to prove anything, and I hate being tied down
  • Tallis: And her flirting with me doesn't bother you? At all?
  • Isabela: So long as you ask nicely and promise not to steal her away, I'll share. There's a lot of Birdie to go around
  • Marian: Love ya Queenie
  • Isabela: *laughs* I love you too Birdie
  • ---
  • Marian and Garrett: What?
  • Tallis: You really are twins, aren't you?
  • Garrett: Is that why you were staring?
  • Marian: But we're identical in every way!
  • Isabela: Might want to look down Birdie, I think you've lost your beard
  • Marian: Blast, not again
  • Garrett: You can borrow mine if you like
  • Marian: What, and get Fenris cooties all over my face? No thanks
  • ---
  • Isabela: I heard something interesting the other night. About Castillion
  • Marian: You have pretty eyes
  • Isabela: Don't even try that on me Birdie. What did you and Fenris do?
  • Fenris: We did nothing. It was a complete accident
  • Marian: He ran into my knife
  • Isabela: Birdie, you didn't!
  • Fenris: *smugly* He ran into her knife ten times
  • ---
  • Marian: You've done something with your hair. It looks... different
  • Isabela: What? My hair always looks like this
  • Marian: No, it's usually sleeker... Straighter... Is that how it naturally looks?
  • Isabela: Ugh, Andraste's granny pants...
  • Marian: It looks gorgeous. You should leave it like that more often
  • Isabela: ...You think so?
  • Marian: Absolutely Queenie. I mean it
  • Isabela: Oh stop you, before I feel grateful enough to drag you into the bushes for some private time
  • ---
  • Tallis: So are /you/ married?
  • Garrett: Are you trying to see if I snort when I laugh too?
  • Tallis: *laughs* Damn he saw right through me. But... in all seriousness you /are/ one of the most important people in Kirkwall. Just curious
  • Garrett: Well, I'm not. Though I might have someone in mind
  • Tallis: So why are you not-?
  • Garrett: The situation in Kirkwall is precarious. There'll be time enough for that later, just... not now
  • ---
  • Tallis: So, you and Garrett?
  • Fenris: Must you poke your nose where it does not belong?
  • Tallis: I'm just curious
  • Fenris: Take your curiosity elsewhere. Our affairs are not yours
  • ---
  • Garrett: How do you stand it?
  • Marian: By putting it on its legs
  • Garrett: *groans* Not the table, I meant these parties. I just- ugh, how could you possibly enjoy it?
  • Marian: How could I enjoy fine clothes, free food and all the gossip in Thedas? How could you not?
  • Garrett: The free food is nice, I suppose
  • ---
  • Marian: Don't turn around
  • Garrett: Fifi De Launcet?
  • Marian: Dulci actually. She looks like she's itching to come here and complain about something. Maybe because you didn't shave?
  • Garrett: Ugh
  • ---
  • Marian: Ah wine, excellent. I need to be even more plastered than I thought before this is over
  • Garrett: Is there a reason you're taking /my/ wine glass?
  • Marian: Mine had an unfortunate encounter with Lady Thrennhold's dress. Took a mind of its own when she implied that someone needed to fix your 'unkempt appearance'
  • Garrett: What's unkempt about it?
  • Marian: Your hair mostly. Particularly the hair on your face
  • Garrett: We can't all compete with Duke Prosper over who has the most impressive facial hair
  • ---
  • Garrett: Avoid that Comte if you can; the old one sitting on that bench over there. He was saying some... rather unpleasant things earlier
  • Marian: Like what?
  • Garrett: Nothing too awful, but...
  • Marian: Gary...
  • Garrett: He was complaining about your... sense of humour
  • Marian: What's wrong with it?
  • Garrett: You really need to ask? Don't worry. I took care of it
  • Marian: What did you-?
  • Garrett: You'll see when he tries standing up
  • ---
  • Marian: I can't believe you
  • Garrett: Hm?
  • Marian: All these years, and I thought you had no sense of humour
  • Garrett: Ah, the Comte is having a little trouble with his breeches is he?
  • Marian: *laughs* The guards had to hold candles under the bench for a good ten minutes until the ice thawed. And the whole time he complained about the state of his privates. Seriously Gary, that was downright diabolical
  • Garrett: Anything for my big sister
  • ---
  • Marian: *sniggers* Knickers
  • Garrett: Making friends?
  • Marian: I already know most of the people here, but I only just wormed the knickers story out of Fifi de Launcet. Meanwhile, you seem to be acquainting yourself with the buffet
  • Garrett: It's one of the most interesting guests here that doesn't question our choices in lovers. But I did see someone interesting. Do you remember Sister Leliana?
  • Marian: From the Lothering Chantry, the one Carver fancied? Why are you...? /No/
  • Garrett: Just over there, in the pink dress. I almost didn't recognise her, but I'm sure it's the same Leliana
  • Marian: I didn't realise Chantry sisters attended high society parties
  • Garrett: What's more is that Tallis seemed to know her
  • Marian: I get the feeling that this is something we should keep our noses out of for once
  • Garrett: Agreed
  • ---
  • Marian: Leopold is going to be a wyvern with a very unhappy tummy
  • Garrett: Once you're done messing with the wyvern's lunch, can we move on before the cook realises you lied to her?
  • ---
  • Tallis: You know what you're doing. Who trained you?
  • Marian: My mother, believe it or not. Apparently you learn a few things about stealth when you sneak out to meet your apostate lover on a regular basis
  • Garrett: Wait, /mother/ taught you how to do this? Since when?
  • Marian: You had your training, I had mine
  • ---
  • Marian: *sigh* Why is it always the cute ones?
  • Isabela: Didn't you know? It's in the job description for being the backstabbing rogue
  • Marian: Well that explains a few things
  • ---
  • Garrett: More of these things?
  • Marian: You be careful brother dearest, else I'll think you're missing the Orlesians
  • Garrett: I think I'll take the nasty little gremlins thanks
  • Fenris: Is there a difference?
  • Isabela: *giggles* Ghast-hole
  • ---
  • Garrett: I get the feeling you wanting to help Tallis has less to do with protecting innocents and more to do with getting in her pants
  • Marian: *indignant gasp* How could you say such a thing? Do you really think I would be so selfish as to-?
  • Garrett: Yes
  • Isabela: Yes
  • Fenris: Yes
  • Marian: ...well okay maybe a little
  • Garrett: And you're okay with this Isabela?
  • Isabela: What? It's not like she didn't ask me first. Birdie might be a horny little shit, but she always makes sure I'm okay with it before she goes chasing after anyone
  • Marian: We do this thing called 'communicating.' You know, the thing you and Fenris recently learned how to do
  • Isabela: Only took you three years of blue balls to manage it
  • Garrett: Bela!
  • ---
  • Fenris: When you were speaking with Tallis about marriage... You said you had someone in mind
  • Garrett: I did
  • Fenris: And might I ask...?
  • Garrett: *sigh* Of course I meant you Fenris, why would I ever even entertain the idea of anyone else?
  • Fenris: ...Do you mean that? You would wish for us to marry?
  • Garrett: Yes, but only if that's what you want
  • Fenris: I ah... I merely thought that-
  • Garrett: Fenris, if I wasn't completely serious about us, about being with you, do you think I would have waited for three years?
  • Fenris: You make an excellent point. Perhaps we shall discuss it further later... Away from present company
  • Marian: Oh please don't stop on our account
  • Isabela: Keep going, I need to write this down. Varric will be green with envy that he missed /this/
  • Tallis: As romantic as this is, and as nice as the warm fuzzy feelings are, we do have to stop Salit. Like, right now
Who should you fight: Hetalia Edition
  • (I'm shameless jumping on this bandwagon just you try and stop me)
  • America: no way in hell should you ever fight america. like, have you seen him? he probably bench-presses bears and and can break every bone in your body with a friendly punch. you will die, and then he'll feel really bad about it and probably cry. do not fight america.
  • England: this depends on his level of sobriety. is he drunk? then do it. do it now. please. do it for me. fight this fucker. he'll cry and it'll be really funny. but if he's sober, I wouldn't risk it. he was a pirate once. so maybe fight england.
  • France: you could fight france and you'd probably win, but like... why would you want to? tbh if you do he'll probably try to help you solve the problems in your life that got you to this point and you'll end up crying. not only will it be a serious mindfuck, you'll feel like an awful person. do not fight france.
  • China: this one is iffy. he's really old, but he also invented karate and kung fu and whatnot. it depends on how good of a day he's having. if it's a bad day, you could totally take him. if it's a good day, you'll be unconscious before you even get a punch in. so maybe fight china.
  • Russia: nooooooooooooo. no no no. no. do not fight russia. you will die a slow and painful death if you do. not only will you be physically destroyed, all the bad karma from fighting a literal teddy bear would crush you. for the love of all that is good and holy, do not fight russia.
  • Germany: also no. have you seen this guy? he's a fucking monster. look at his muscles. stare at them. those are the muscles of a nation that can crush your tiny skull like zit. do not fight germany.
  • Italy: nope. i can see why you think that you can. he's cute and cheery and a pasta noodle personified. but this pasta noodle was an empire once and if you even think about it, germany will be after your ass. do not fight italy.
  • Japan: you'll lose, but you should do it. he's a massive weeb and disturbingly chill. somebody's gotta rile him up and get him to do something. plus, he'll probably watch anime with you after. do it. fight japan.
  • Prussia: you'd win, but don't do it. he'll feel really bad and then you'll feel bad for making him upset and he'll try to be nice about losing and it'll just make you feel worse. it'll also crush his self-esteem cause he was the shit once and now he's not even a real nation. it'll just be bad for everyone and you'll hate yourself. do not fight prussia.
  • Canada: jesus. do not fight canada. i know he seems all nice and peaceful, but have you ever sat down and watched a professional hockey game? if you have, you know that canadians are not to be fucked with. plus, why would you want to? what has he done to you? what has he done to anyone? do not fight canada.
  • Romano: do it. fight romano. this kid already wants to fight himself and he'll be so happy if you fight him. you might not win, but it would be really fun and both of you would feel so much better afterwards. fight romano.
  • Spain: no. nooooooooooooo. no. not only can he kick your ass, but he's so damn nice. why would you want to fight him? he's so sweet and huggable. do not fight spain. hug spain. go shopping with spain. dance with spain. do not fight spain.
  • Denmark: hell no. hell no. hell to the no. he's like the viking king. you'll perish in some horrible and improbable way. plus, he's like an actual golden retriever. would you fight a golden retriever? no, you wouldn't. then do not fight denmark.
  • Norway: also no. i can see why you think to can, but he can do all sorts of weird magic shit. you might win the battle, but when you wake up with a thousand spiders eating your body and bleeding from your eyes, you will realize that you have not won the war. do not fight norway.
  • Iceland: you'd win within five seconds, but jesus christ, don't fight this kid. if you do, you'll have denmark and norway after you, and that's not a good place to be in. do not fight iceland.
  • Sweden: have you ever looked at aph sweden? if so, you know the answer to this. do not fight sweden. omg how dumb can you be? why would you ever think about fighting him? do not fight sweden.
  • Finland: out of everyone you should not fight in the nordics, finland takes the cake. I know he's cute and chubby and sweet, but he'll shoot you before you even think about thinking about fighting him. his people invented the moltov cocktail. you know how much shit those can do? a lot. the answer is a lot. saints in heaven, do not fight finland.
  • Hungary: uhhhhhhhhhh, no fucking way should you fight this chick. she'll kill you. multiple times. and then laugh about it. you'll look like an idiot ans feel like an idiot. do not fight hungary.
  • Austria: please fight austria. please. he's a massive wimp and needs to be fought. if you fight him, i will personally kiss you on the face. i will pay you good money to fight him. you should want to fight him. look at this prissy motherfucker. do it. fight austria.
  • Switzerland: is this even an option?????? Jfc do not fight switzerland. no way. he can and will kick your pathetic little ass, neutrality be damned. don't do it. i see you considering it and i'm telling you now, don't do it. do not fight switzerland.
  • Liechtenstein: why the fuck would you ever think about fighting this girl???? not only is she princess of the cinnamon rolls, she'll straight up kill you. you won't even know what happened to you. out of everyone in hetalia not to fight, she is the one you should avoid fighting the most. she'll kill you, switzy will kill you, you'll feel awful for considering fighting her, she'll get blood on her shoes, it's a bad situation all around. i'm gonna put this shit in caps just so you get it. DO NOT FIGHT LIECHTENSTEIN. YOU WILL LOSE. DON'T FUCKING DO IT
  • Lithuania: another person you should not fight ever. i can understand why you think you can. he's skinny, he was russia's maid for the longest time, he seems like he's too nice to ever hit you back, but hoe, do not fight him. europe was once his bottom bitch. all of europe. his. he knows every form of fighting and can beat your ass in all of them. do not fight lithuania.
  • Estonia: do it. fight him. he is so fucking annoying and you'll win. please fight him. he'll probably do your homework afterwards too so it's a two for one deal. fight estonia.
  • Latvia: nu uh. don't fight this kid. you'd win, there's no question about that, but everyone will hate you. lithuania will fight you, russia will fight you, i will fight you, everyone in the world will just get together and collectively decide to fight you. do not fight latvia.
  • Poland: depends. does he have a sword or a bow? if so, no fucking way. get out of there. hit the hills while you still have most of your limbs. if he doesn't? do it. you'll win and it'll be really funny and become an internet sensation. so maybe fight poland.
  • Belarus: um why are you asking this????????? she carries a knife 24/7 and has canon broken every bone in lithuania's fingers. it won't even be a fight, it'll just be your death. do not fight belarus.
  • Ukraine: nope. you can win (unless she suffocates you with her boobs) but she'll cry and then you'll have both russia and belarus after you, and those are two people you do not want to fight. do not fight ukraine.
  • Sealand: look, i see why you want to fight him. this kid is annoying as shit. if i could, i would fight him too. but he's just that. he's a kid. don't fight a kid. that's terrible. nobody would get upset about it (except finland but that's if he can get sealand to admit to getting his ass kicked) but that makes it even worse. don't do it. don't fight sealand.

anonymous asked:

I saw your Lance-appreciation post and loved it! I was wondering if you might know of, or have made any Keith appreciation posts. I'm curious about his character, as he has yet to grow on me like the others have. If you don't want to make one, though, please don't feel pressured to do so! I hope you have a lovely day regardless~

Keith post it is!

Honestly, I like Keith a lot. I think that sometimes I have a bit of a different read to him than some other people do.

See, I read Keith pretty solidly as autistic. While he is very clearly a kind of loner, I don’t know if I think that’s something he really plans deliberately.

Keith doesn’t really resent or sulk about intrusions into his space. In the first episode, when Lance barged in on his rescue mission/attempted theft of whatever the Garrison was hiding, Keith was initially confused, but accepted these people all moseying in on his mission. The one time he expressed some annoyance was to the idea that his little hoverbike thing wasn’t designed to hold this many people and it’s slowing them down. “We could lose some non-essential weight.”

Keith strikes me as someone who lives in his head. And it’s a pretty orderly place in there, for the most part; he has his goals, his patterns, his insight, all nicely squared away. But taking things out of his head and articulating them is tricky. And it can also be hard for him to notice things that don’t ping on his radar as Important or a Threat.

Keep reading

KITTEN part 1

MOVIE : MAZE RUNNER
CHARACTERS : NEWT X READER
RATING: FLUFFY
WRITER : ME AND MY IDEA

NEWT’S POV:

 i sat at the bonfire alone thinking a bit with gallys drink in my hand watching the fire till i find what I've been looking for the greenie two months back y/n just going to her room hardly anyone really see’s her much and she hardly ever speaks to anyone its strange as soon as i see her i get up and try to walk over to her without her noticing “hi love” i say

“hi” she says briefly

“you al right” i ask

“fine” she says briefly 

“are you sure, how bout you come hang with the rest of us no point being alone y/n” i say

“im fine alone” she says seeming distracted

“so you say, but come on one night with the guys, or if you want me and you can find a table and just have a nice chat” i suggest

“thanks but no thanks” she says trying to walk off but i just move so im in her way 

“what's wrong y/n something up two months you been here and you hardly say a word to anyone what's up” i ask

“nothing i like keeping myself to myself now shuck off” she says pushing past me and walking off and practically disappearing into the darkness i stand for a moment looking in her direction till minho comes and puts an arm around me

“try and chat up the girl again newt” he says

“no, i wasn't chatting her up, i was trying to talk to her” i answer

“really that's not what it sounded like” he replies

“what did it sound like then” i ask

“it sounded pervy and desperate newt, like you where trying to get in her pants” he says

“well no im not trying to get in her pants, im just worried about her” i say

“why” he asks

“she doesnt talk to anyone she always is alone she just wants to be alone it worries me if that's how she chooses to deal with this place isolating herself from everyone” i answer

“one girl in a maze full of teenage boys can you blame her newt” minho says

“true but im just worried you know me” i say

“unfortunately i do, but why not talk to her now when she’s in her room then know one else is gonna be around maybe she’ll talk then” he suggests i nod and walk off from the guys towards the homestead and y/n’s room i stand for a moment before knocking and opening the door.


Y/N’S POV:

i went back to my room in the homestead after that i don't like talking to people for long to scared someone's gonna find out about me im not exactly a girl glader because im not exactly girl well not all of me as soon as i get to my room and let my tail UN wrap from my skirt and move my hair so my ears are the normal place yep im half girl half cat i have ears and a tail but a lot more catish things come out in my personality and things i do like how i disappear without people really noting i like to sit like a cat and i often go around the glade at night like a cat on all fours one problem is my ears and tail my ears i can easily hid with my hair but my tail is the real problem unfortunately it has a mind of its own often doing things the tail wants and me having no real power over it, i don't what the guys to ever know about me so i keep myself to myself till i hear a knock at the door i quickly hide my ears but the door opens i don't have time to wrap my tail so i just grab it and hold it down behind me its newt what the hell does he want he steps in and looks like he has something to say so i just it there trying to keep my tail under control 

“hi” he says nervously 

“hello” i say “what did you want” i ask

“i wanted to uh, tell you that, uh well im worried about you y/n i am im worried about you, and i think that uh you and i should discuss something about you and such as to understand why it is that you keep yourself to yourself” he says nervously and a bit confused 

“okay” i reply 

“and i think we should uh know that you dont need to be alone and i am available 24 hours a day seven days a week, available to talk to not that i available- which i am but not in that scene- i mean i am but not in the way the guys would think i would be saying this- well i am as your the only girl and im defiantly not gay- not to impose or anything just uh im gonna stop talking now” he says making me almost laugh at him

“okay right thank you newt” i reply 

“but yeah so you can come and talk to me when ever you want just one rule” he says

“what rule” i ask battling with my tail again

“no secrets” he laughs

“okay” i say

there's then a silence as neither of us really know what to say

“what’s that” he asked

“what's what” i say

“what's that your hiding” he asks

“nothing” i say

“no seriously y/ n what are you hiding from me” he says trying to move closer to me

“nothing” i repeat

“y/n we just agreed no secrets now come on what are you hiding” he laughs

“nothing i swear” i say trying to make him back off a bit

“love come one just tell me, i swear it wont leave this room” he says

“you swear” i ask i guess having a friend would be nice plus i know i cant hold this tail back much longer

“i swear what happens or is said in our chats stays with us i swear on my life if i say a word you can kill me” he says i then just sigh 

“okay” i say letting go of my tail and dropping my head to the floor i know my tail is where he’s gonna be able to see it and i just sit a moment i look up at him he looks like he’s gonna freak or scream “PLEASE DON'T FREAK” i say

“uh,uh,uh,uh,uh” he says “you,you,you have a you have a, a tail” he says 

“yeah” i reply 

“uh, tail ,you have a tail” he stutters

“yeah” i say moving my hair to show of my ears as well 

“oh god and ears okay, uh anything else” he asks

“no” i answer

“okay, okay uh what, what the shucking hell are you” he asks

“cat girl” i answer a bit a ashamed of what i am

“your a cat” he asks

“yes” i laugh 

“uh okay can i” he asks gesturing to my bed i nod and he sits beside me on my bed looking at me “your a cat girl” he says

“yep, half cat half girl i didn't want anyone to know so i keep my ears covered and my tail wrapped up” i explain

“your a cat girl”he says again

“newt i think the think the fact im a cat girl has been established” i tell him 

“im telling alby” he says trying to get up but i then just pin him down again using both my hands and my tail 

“newt you promised me, you said what happens never leaves us, please don't tell anyone else, i want to trust you with this” i say

“but y/n i meant i would tell people about you know personal stuff but this is big your half cat”  he says

“i know that's why you cant say anything, newt please” i beg he sits a moment before answering 

“al right, i will keep you secret cat lady” he says 

“thank you” i say hugging him and he hugs me back till he jerks and pulls away from our hug “what” i ask

“your tail was touching me, in places” he says making me laugh

“sorry it has a mind of its own” i explain “so what do you think” i say standing up and spinning around 

“uh , well if i may use the cheezy wording but, meow” he says slyly making me giggle

“awe thank you” i say returning to sitting on the bed 

“do you do anything like a cat” he asks

“what do you mean” i ask

“do you, you know sleep like a cat, eat like a cat etcetera” he asks

“i don't know i don't pay that much attention” i answer

“what about play, do you play like cats do” he asks

“how so” i ask

“if i got you a ball of yawn would you play with it” he asks

“no” i lie i have tried that before its very fun 

“why do i think your lieing” he says 

i cant help but glance at the underside of my bed where i know it is he notices and puts a hand under my bed and getting the ball.

NEWTS POV:

i got the ball from under her bed and looked at her she just refused to make eye contact so i threw it across the floor she sat for a moment before jumping of the bed onto the floor and playing with the ball like a cat “awe” i say

“slim it” she says sitting back on the bed 

“what about, if i like stroked you would you purr” i ask

“never tied” she says

“well come here then” i say opening my arms

“what” she asks

“come here kitten” i say she then just shrugs and crawls over to me like a cat and hugging me so i just move slightly so im cuddling her and slowly move my hand up and down her back after a little while of us both sitting lost in the enjoyment of it i can here her purring “awe that is so cute” i say to her

“shut up, i cant help it” she says but neither of us moving till i can feel her tail again trying to wrap its self around my belt and trying to UN do it “HEY,  keep that tail under control” i say pushing her away 

“sorry newt, it got a mind of its own i don't have any control over it” she says

“it al right just mind where it goes” i say “what about if i scratched you behind the ears y/n”

“DON'T YOU DARE” she shouted

“why not” i ask

“because my ears are a personal place newt know one is allowed to touch my ears but me” she says sternly 

after a few seconds i try to reach up to touch her ears but she just hits me and glares but i just throw the ball of yawn cross the room she glares with hatred at me before running off to play with it before coming back “i cant even trust you with a ball of yawn newt” she says 

“maybe not but i swear i wont tell anyone” i say

“okay i trust you” she said hugging me 

“but i have but one request” i say

“what” she asks

“can i keep calling you kitten” i ask

“okay” she says

“kitten” i reply 

Spiderman 3 (2007 Movie): Sentence Starters
  • "Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, we always have a choice."
  • "It's the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right."
  • "You gonna kill me like you killed my father?"
  • "No. He despised you. You were an embarrassment to him."
  • "You took him from me. He loved me."
  • "I'm done trying to convince you."
  • "You came."
  • "We'll get you through this."
  • "I never should have hurt you... said those things."
  • "You're my friend."
  • "A couple of minutes ago wouldn't have been so bad either."
  • "Oh, my. What happened?"
  • "Looks like just in the nick of time."
  • "I don't think it's for us to say whether a person deserves to live or die."
  • "Before you know it, turn us into something ugly."
  • "Did you ever propose?"
  • "You said a husband's gotta put his wife before himself."
  • "I'm not ready."
  • "I hurt her."
  • "Well, you start by doing the hardest thing: You forgive yourself."
  • "I know what it feels like. It feels good. The power. Everything. But you'll lose yourself. It'll destroy you. Let it go."
  • "I like being bad. It makes me happy."
  • "If you know what I'm talking about!"
  • "Back then, nothing seemed to go right for me."
  • "People really like me."
  • "Stings doesn't it?"
  • "I protected you in high school. Now I'm gonna kick your little ass."
  • "You're trash."
  • "Your picture's a fake."
  • "You want forgiveness? Get religion."
  • "You are such a boy scout."
  • "We're just horsing around."
  • "I'm begging you. If you do this, I will lose everything. There's not a paper in town that will hire me."
  • "Show this to your editor."
  • "I want him dead too."
  • "Look, I want to kill the spider, you wanna kill the spider. Together, he doesn't stand a chance. Interested?"
  • "End of the line."
  • "Your wife told me to tell you to watch the anger."
  • "Time to take your pill."
  • "Hey. I'm the new guy."
  • "Um, yeah, look, just between you and me, guys kind of an amateur."
  • "From now on, I am gonna be taking shots of you for the Bugle."
  • "But you don't have to worry about that, buddy."
  • "You want a staff job, and you want a staff job, anybody care about what I want?"
  • "Shut up. Get out."
  • "Listen to me! I didn't kill your father!"
  • "You knew this was coming!"
  • "He was trying to kill me! He killed himself!"
  • "I didn't want this. But I had no choice."
  • "We always have a choice."
  • "I needed money."
  • "Why don't you just put down the gun and go home?"
  • "I realize now he was just trying to help me."
  • "I did a terrible thing to you."
  • "I spent a lot of nights wishing I could take it back."
  • "I didn't choose to be this."
  • "I'm not asking you to forgive me. I just want you to understand."
  • "How's the pie?"
  • "I'm just here to talk to you, beautiful!"
  • "Just a little something called 'Nice And Easy', what's on you?"
  • "I need a photographer."
  • "A hundred bucks?"
  • "Film's extra."
  • "Shazam!"
  • "That was OUR kiss!"
  • "It's a funny feeling, not knowing who you are."
  • "Never wound what you can't kill."
  • "Its a free country. Not a rent-free country."
  • "You will get your rent when you fix this DAM DOOR!"
  • "We can find a way to settle this."
  • "You're so right. I'm thinking... humiliation. Kind of like how you humiliated me. Do you remember? Do you remember what you did to me? You made me lose my girl. Now I'm gonna make you lose yours."
  • "How's that sound, tiger?"
  • "An orange?"
  • "I'm really sorry for what happened earlier. I shouldn't have yelled about that door. It was nothing to be angry about."
  • "This is none of your business."
  • "Do you want to push me away?"
  • "Push you away? Why would I want to push you away... I love you!"
  • "They're gonna kill us both."
  • "Your shots are so good."
  • "You don't deserve my help."
  • "Do I have any girlfriends?"
  • "This thing got any more?"
  • "She doesn't know what you are."
  • "Tell me you love me?"
  • "I know you're trying to defend your fathers' honor, but there is no question that he died by his own hand."
  • "What does it matter to you, anyway?"
  • "Hate those things!"
  • "Take your hands off me."
  • "I live in the presence of great truth."
  • "I promise I'll make you healthy again. Whatever it takes, I'll get the money."
  • "I'm not a bad person. Just had bad luck."
  • "They're my best friends... I'd give my life for them."
  • "Was I really good? I was so nervous. My knees were shaking."
  • "It's all about diffusion."
  • "The applause wasn't very loud."
  • "You are such a nerd."
  • "Where do these guys COME from?"
  • "You've taken your eye off the ball."
  • "You know, I guess one person really can make a difference."
  • "It has the characteristics of a symbiote, which needs to bond to a host in order to survive. And once it binds... it can be hard to UNbind."
  • "I love romance. I am French."
  • "You fired him."
  • "I could use some help over here!"
  • "I guess you haven't heard. I'm the sheriff around these parts!"
  • "This could be a tragic day for the people of New York."
  • "It's hard to believe what's happening. The brutality of it. I - I don't know how he can take anymore."
  • "Everybody needs help sometimes."
  • "He's a good boy. He must be in some kind of trouble."
  • "What about that amazing... amazing night that we had?"
  • "We had a coffee."
  • "Make him suffer, make him wish he were dead. First, we attack his heart!"
  • "There seems to be some kind of activity in the web."
Unintended Chapter 5

5- ROOF TILES AND PIANO 

summary: Foreston Academy was the very last resort for angry, lonely Dan Howell. He never could have imagined meeting anyone like Phil Lester, and Phil never could have known that befriending his new roommate would change his life entirely.

Is there such a thing as being too forgiving?

betas: comefeedmyobsession and kaleidanscope

wc: ~5.5k THAT’S LITERALLY LONGER THAN MOST OF MY NORMAL PHANFICS WHY

warnings: bad chapter name i mean wow zelda couldn’t u think of anything better than ‘roof tiles and piano’ smh

Dan curled up against the wall, the drummers in his head banging harder and harder, the agony splitting his skull as his red eyes blurred with tears.

Maybe it would hurt less if he stopped crying. But Dan couldn’t stop crying.

Four days. That was a new record for him. One of them wasn’t even a schoolday.

He didn’t know what to do- the world around him had seemed to start imploding, wave upon wave of horrible flashbacks and thoughts and sickening fears overwhelming him until he felt his head could burst with the pain.

 

‘We’re putting Buttercup down,’ he hissed, sharp Southern accent cold and emotionless.

'Please. Father, please, no,’ Dan is on the floor before him, face screwed up and red and his knees on the cold marble floor.

'Perhaps you should learn that there will be consequences to your atrocious behaviour in the future, Daniel!’

'Please, Father! Please!’ His voice is just a choked sob now, because he is breaking- his only friend- he can’t- he wouldn’t-

'She’s not done anything!’

'But you have. And you need to learn.

Besides… I never liked that damn dog anyway.’

 

Dan saw two long black-clad legs walk past him and sit on the bed. Two minutes later they were up again. And then Phil was pacing.

Dan wondered if the sound of his desperate sobbing was annoying Phil, and started to feel sorry that he had woken him up last night to see him in this pathetic state.

'I’m sorry,’ he managed to choke out. His vision was too blurred to see legs too clearly, and his viewpoint too low to see anything above the boy’s waist, but he saw Phil stop pacing and turn to face him.

And then Phil was crouching level with him a few metres back, and Dan could see the blue shining eyes beneath the blurry splash of black that defined the top of his head.

'You should be,’ Phil said slowly, and then sighed as Dan dissolved into fresh sobs, body shaking with fear.

Phil didn’t really understand- Dan had beaten people up before- and he didn’t enjoy it as such, but it made him feel good. It was the only way he could ever get any control or respect, and commanding an audience of people as large as there was today made him feel as though he was actually of some importance- for once not clutching at loose footholds that let him slide helplessly down the cliff face when they crumbled- for once, he was not the useless one, the unimportant one, the pathetic one.

So he wasn’t sorry for that.

He also wasn’t sorry for the way he had behaved at the school. The teachers had dragged him off, and told him that he was disrespecting the long and gracious history of the school. This school is here to understand you, they had said. This school is here to help you and let you be who you truly are, they had said. But Dan didn’t want to be who he truly was. Dan despised the person he was. So he wasn’t sorry about that.

He had treated Phil like shit, he knew. He understood that the boy was a genuinely nice person, and although he wasn’t fully clear why Phil had tried to be his friend even after Dan had made it clear that they weren’t to associate, Phil had changed things the night he took Dan down to Firespot. Phil had put the idea into Dan’s mind that perhaps he could be happy with these sorts of people. Perhaps even that he could not be considered pathetic.

The following day had shown that that couldn’t be the case. And so Dan wasn’t sorry about how he had treated Phil.

Much.

He was crying now, horrific sobs crumpling his body in pain and causing him to gasp and snort and all the other vile noises that you make when you’re breaking inside, and Phil looked uncomfortable, and Dan just wished he would leave. He wished Phil hadn’t heard him last night, and he wished he had just told Phil to go back to bed, and he wished he had just kept himself where he belonged- nowhere near someone like Phil. Because now he was stuck in this confusing mess and Phil wasn’t leaving the room and yes, he was sorry that Phil had to listen to his sorrow.

But really, this situation was all Dan’s fault. Dan knew that he was wrong. Dan knew that he had acted like a dickhead. And Dan knew that he had acted irresponsibly. And most of all Dan knew he had acted cruelly. What he had done to Chris had been wholly unnecessary. Having woken up to the horror of another boy lying so close to him, he had exploded at the sight of Chris and PJ acting so intimately as he entered the canteen, and the situation had spiralled so out of control that here he was now, the school a short conversation away from ringing his parents.

And when they did that, his life would be over.

His punishments had gotten worse and worse over the years as he consistently broke the rules, but Dan genuinely couldn’t think of anything else they could take from him.

Dan had nothing else he cared about any more. And so the sickening tarry pit of fear in his stomach was not because of any of these things.

It was because he knew that when his parents found out, they really would hate him.

And for that, Dan hated himself. Dan had hated himself for quite a long time now.

'Dan.’

Dan owed it to Phil to reply, so he choked back his next sob with an ugly squeak and, still staring down at the carpet, replied, ‘I’m sorry, Phil. I’m so sorry.’

'So, what’s happening?’ Phil asked awkwardly. Dan could see that Phil was still furiously angry. But it was like he was programmed to be almost unbearably nice and kind, and so just couldn’t let Dan sob his heart out without at least trying to do something. Which used to infuriate Dan. Now it just made him realise even more how horrible and useless a human he was. ‘Are you going to get excluded?’

'What makes you assume that?’

'You seem devastated. And from what I’ve seen of you so far, you wouldn’t be this cut up about hurting Chris.’ There was an awkward pause as Phil watched Dan dissolve back into self-loathing. 'I’m sorry. That was harsh.’

Phil’s voice was wooden and Dan just looked away.

'I do care,’ he whispered.

'I know you do,’ Phil replied gently, and they both knew that he was lying. 'Do you want a tea?’

Dan twisted around so he was looking up at Phil angrily. ‘Alot of fucking good a tea is gonna do me right now!’ He shouted, voice cracking on the words.

'I was just trying to be nice!’ Phil almost-shouted back, 'I don’t have to do anything for you! I shouldn’t even be speaking to you, after what you did to one of my best friends!’

'Then don’t!’

For a second it looked like Phil was going to storm out again, but something in his expression changed and he stopped still, every muscle tensed up. ‘Why are you like this, Dan?’

Dan clawed his way up the wall so he was face-to-face with Phil, their noses inches apart. ‘Why am I like what?’ He spat.

Phil didn’t answer, simply glaring hard at Dan, Adam’s Apple bobbing in his throat, and Dan could see every little imperfection on his face and every colour in his eyes- turns out they were not completely sky-blue as he had thought, but rather an ocean of different colours that swam around with expression and emotion, lit bright from behind by all the care that Phil put into everything and everyone, and the passion with which he stared back into Dan’s eyes now.

'You don’t understand anything,’ Dan hissed. 'You’ve had such an easy life. You’ve gone to one school, you’ve had friends and classes and you’ve behaved and you had parents that gave a shit about you and-‘

He choked off and looked away, glaring down at his feet, furious at himself for giving Phil so much of himself, before quickly treading as hard as he was able on Phil’s foot and running out of the room as fast as possible.

***

 

'Mate, don’t worry about me. I’m Northern. Made of some tough stuff!’

'I’m from up north aswell!’ laughed Phil, 'but I wouldn’t be overly chuffed with a broken leg!’

'Well, I’m not saying I’m happy about it,’ Chris said, rolling his eyes,'but y'know, it’s not actually broken…and it’s quite soothing in here after having to share a room with Peej snoring his head off!’

'Oi! Watch it! You may be an invalid but it doesn’t mean I can’t hurt you!’

'Ooh, I’d like to see you try!’

PJ raised his eyebrows. ‘Make me.’

'God guys,’ Phil moaned, 'do you want me to leave you to it!?’

'Mmm, please,’ giggled Chris as his painkillers came into effect and his head dropped onto the pillow, 'you might not wanna be here when Chris and I,’ he yawned, eyes screwed up with sudden tiredness, 'get frisky!’

'I might go back anyway,’ Phil said, turning to PJ (who was making gagging motions in response to Chris’ comment) as Chris drifted off, 'time’s ticking on.’

'I think I’ll stay in the hospital wing a little longer with him,’ PJ replied, nodding. 'You seen Dan?’ Phil nodded affirmation, 'he deserves to get kicked out for this. Actually, he should be getting police attention. He’s insane.’

'He’s screwed up, Peej.’

'What do you mean?’

'I think his life’s been a mess. I keep getting little hints off him before he clams up. Something… There’s something wrong.’

'A tragic history may explain a crime but it doesn’t excuse it.’

'Where did you get that pearl of wisdom from?’

'Dunno. Can you stick a cup under that leak when you leave? The rain’s getting in. Would have thought the hospital wing would have slightly better roofing, if I’m honest.’

 

Phil turned round quickly as he left, and he could have sworn that PJ was holding Chris’ sleeping hand.

 

***

 

It was raining outside and Dan was just in a black tshirt and jeans. Atleast his dark attire would mean he was less likely to be spotted outside out-of-hours, he thought.

Not that he could really get into much more trouble than he was already in.

His hair was already plastered to his head, rain running down his face in icy rivulets and merging with his stinging hot tears.

He reached up to brush away the water in his eyes but his arm was just as wet as the rest of him and the gesture was pointless and he was trembling with cold and fear and his mouth was dry and his head was splitting in half and half again.

By the time he reached the clearing in the trees that contained the dead embers of Monday’s bonfire, he didn’t realise that his feet had taken him all the way to Firespot.

His clothes were all plastered to his body and his hair drooped pathetically over his face.

As he approached the edge of the clearing again, he automatically gravitated towards the spot he had sat with Phil only two nights ago, curling up on the sodden wood and breathing in the smell of the rain and the damp leaves and mud and tree bark.

 

***

 

When Phil reached his happy place, he almost jumped out of his skin.

There was somebody there already.

 

After leaving the hospital wing Phil had realised he wasn’t ready to go back to the room, so after borrowing PJ’s waterproof mac and cuddling up in it, he had headed outside into the building storm.

Now his fingers were numb with cold and his face spattered with rain, but he felt calmer and less confined. He had been looking forward to arriving at his beloved Firespot and being able to sit down, completely alone with his own thoughts, to mull over how he felt about everything.

And yet, there was somebody there.

Phil crept over, feet squelching in the mud, and realised before he got to him that curled up on the seat was the defeated figure of Dan. Of course it was. Of course it was.

Phil walked away from the place that made him happiest.

Just at that moment, he couldn’t deal with it all.



***

‘Dude you’ve been playing the piano for over an hour and it’s now 3am so I just came to tell you to shut the fuck up.’

Dan spun round to see Chris limp out of the shadows behind him, face and hair partially veiled in blackness.

‘How did you even hear me?’

‘The hospital wing is directly above the music suites, and seeing as my leg is in fucking agony, it may not surprise you to know I’ve had some difficulty sleeping. Basically, the dorms are at the other side of the building, but the hospital wing is conveniently placed over here. Peej is still asleep because he’s a heavy sleeper. Also… I’m not sure how many loons frequently play music at such obscene hours in the morning.’

Dan looked away, trying to hold back the tears. Of course it would be Chris to come and find him. Of all of the hundreds of pupils in this school, of course it had to be Chris.

‘What the fuck is going on with you?’ Chris approached him slowly, carefully, as though he was a bomb that could explode any second. Dan guessed after all that was exactly what he was. A thing to be feared. Unpredicatble, uncontrollable, and hated by everyone.

He didn’t wipe the salty tears away quick enough for Chris not to see.

‘How long have you been like this?’

‘Like what?’ Dan’s hands were still resting on the cold ivory keys- the one single place he felt he was capable of expressing himself.

‘Like…’ Chris waved his arms around as he tried to articulate his thoughts, ‘Like… Well, so… Hating everybody… The people who want to give a damn about you…

‘So… Stupid…’

This angered Dan. ‘Stupid? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? How am I stupid?’ Dan had no redeeming qualities- he knew that- he was a fuck-up in every way, a by-product, good at nothing… But he was sure that he wasn’t stupid. Intelligent- not overly. But not an idiot. After all, he was able to see his own flaws- wasn’t that a thing that made you smart?

‘Yeah, you’re stupid. You’re a goddamn idiot, Dan. Phil… And Peej, and even me, we wanted to help you. We decided to be your friend, and you were a wanker. And then guess what? Phil still took you down to Firespot, and you did it again. Infact, then you decided to out-do yourself. Really,’ he guestured down at his crippled form, and Dan wondered how much he hurt. Probably not as much as Dan himself. ‘You’re stupid because you think David’s crew are where you belong. You’re stupid because you think they actually give a shit about you-’

‘No.’

‘What do you mean, no?’

‘I mean, no. You’re wrong. David and his gang don’t give a shit about me, and I do know that. Nobody gives a shit about me. You have to understand. I accept that. If I wasn’t me, I would hate me too. No, no, I do hate me.’

‘Oh shut up with your self-pitying crap, Dan,’ if Chris had been less exhausted and in agony and if Dan hadn’t been the reason for both of those things, perhaps Chris would have been gentler. But Chris was a good person, and he was pissed off with Dan. ‘We tried. Phil tried so fucking hard. And you still think we didn’t give a shit about you?’

‘You don’t after what I did,’ sighed Dan, staring at his hands, still resting on the piano keys.

‘That wasn’t the question!’ Chris flared up, voice an angry loud-whisper. ‘You’re making all of this about self-pity! If you had stopped being such a wuss, you could have just told those guys to shove off. And then you wouldn’t be in this state!’

‘But I couldn’t. I didn’t. You’re right- I am pathetic.’

Chris allowed himself just a second to howl into his hand in frustration. The darkness in the room filled out between them.

Dan broke the silence that followed with a soft, sad note on the piano, followed by another, followed by another. As he begun to spin the threads of a melody, he looked up at Chris, who slowly nodded his head in silence.

Soon, Chris was sucked in by a gentle, soothing flow of music, the notes swirling around him and taking over all of his anger and frustration, letting it leak out like a poison as he sunk into the tune.

‘What’s that?’ Chris asked when he finished, letting out a deep breath he didn’t know he had been holding in.

‘Uh, it’s called “Dearly Beloved”, from the game Kingdom Hearts? It was kinda like a shittier version of Final Fantasy. But the music was good.’

‘Mhm,’ Chris said, nodding his head as he he looked over at Dan slowly. ‘You’re not okay, are you?’

Dan stared down at they piano, and a glistening tear fell onto one of the keys.

‘I’m going to get Phil. You need to talk to him.’

Dan leapt up and grabbed Chris’ arm. ‘No! Please, no! He hates me.’

Chris rolled his eyes. ‘We both have reason to hate you, dude. And I’m helping you.’

Dan’s voice was low and confused. ‘Why?’

‘Because you need help.’

‘I don’t.’ His voice was now almost inaudible.

‘You’re a mess. And it’s not me you need.I know you need Phil. I can see it every time you look at him.’

As Chris started to stride towards the door of the music suite, Dan dropped onto his knees, eyes once again filling with tears.

***

‘Dan?’ Phil’s voice was soft over the sound of the breeze and the night and the shushing of the stars, because that’s what the silvery night does- it make you feel like you need to be quiet. ‘Dan? Are you up here?’

Phil looked around, head filling with hundreds of panicky situations and reasons why he could fall to his death any moment, and his feet were rooted to the spot, slate tiles slanted scarily beneath him and reflecting the moon’s silver with the rain of the night, his feet six floors further off the ground than he would have liked them to be.

And then at the other side of the sloped roof, Phil saw the silhouette of a boy stretched languidly out under the stars, hair being played with by the wind and skin being tickled by the moonlight.

Phil closed his eyes and took a deep breath, placing one foot forward and then when he felt safe enough, another.

Chris had followed Dan up here. He had said the boy needed Phil.

After everything, was Phil willing to give up his time for this boy? Certainly not his life, right?

Of course he was. Dan needed his help. And who would Phil be if he denied his help to someone?

And then the moon drifted slowly behind a grey cloud.

The darkness was all-consuming, and so was the absolute fear that gripped at Phil’s heart.

The sole of his shoe didn’t have enough grip to hold him in place as his arms flailed and black hair flashed in the wind, and he let out an earsplitting scream as he slid backwards across the tiles-

‘I’ve got you- I’ve got you! It’s okay. Shhh, Phil, Phil, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m-

Phil’s breathing was rapid and horrified and brain haywire as he started to grasp the fact that he had almost fallen to his death.

His eyes travelled up the one outstretched arm that was holding him stable on the slippery slate tiles, past his forearm, still in PJ’s rented raincoat, his pale trembling arm, clasped in another-

‘Give me your other hand,’ Dan whispered to him, ‘I can’t hold you up for much longer.’

Numbly, head still mostly uncomprehending, Phil pressed his hand into Dan’s freezing cold one, and slowly, the two of them started to steady themselves on the roof.

Phil was trembling all over. He hated heights as it was, and his near-fall had completely shaken him up. He didn’t want to be here. With Dan, who didn’t care about anyone-

Dan; who had saved his life.

‘Don’t thank me or anything,’ Dan whispered, after realising that Phil was much to scared to release his unrelenting grasp on Dan’s hands, ‘It’s my own idiot fault that you’re up here in the first place, I, I, I almost killed you.’

Phil still didn’t say anything.

‘This is all my fault. All you wanted to do was help me. Chris explained. I mean, I guess I knew that, really. I’m not that stupid. I think.’ He paused, cocking a head on one side, as though wondering just how much Phil was listening. Admittedly, the answer was not much. ‘But please, Phil. I don’t know if I can… Be normal. But we like the same music and books and food and oh my god, Firespot, and I don’t know, I just, I know I don’t deserve it, and you can say no and, I just, could you… Give me a second chance? I mean, I know I don’t deserve it, I know, and… Yeah…’

Fleetingly, the thought crossed Phil’s mind how easy it would be to shut Dan up by pressing his own warm lips to Dan’s, to hold his cheeks, flushed with the cold night air, and to let go of his hands just to tangle them in his dark hair.

When Phil caught himself, he had to take in a deep breath of the cold September air.

Delirious with fear… Shock… Gratitude… Or something. Right?

‘Are you okay just to walk down here a little?’ Dan asked, motioning with his head (Phil still had his hands tightly clasped in his own) towards Dan’s spot a little further down the roof. It wasn’t far, but… Dan wanted Phil with him.

If he was going to do this, he was going to do it here. Dan didn’t know why, but the cold roof and the dark damp night air and the isolation of the height calmed Dan. For some reason, Dan was able to think up here.

He had found the way up onto the roof completely by accident. After Chris had left the music room, Dan had realised he needed to flee before he came back with Phil, and so he had run as far and as madly as he was able in the opposite direction from the dorms.

The corridor that lead to the stairs that lead to another corridor which lead to a tiny hidden doorway which lead to the balcony which lead to the roof was clearly not meant to be found by students, so Dan had known he wouldn’t be disturbed.

He hadn’t counted on Chris following him.

But for some reason, when Dan had seen Phil stumble out onto the roof, things had become clearer in his head; he knew that he had to stay at Foreston; he knew that he had to stay with Phil, with Chris, with the ‘misfits’ of Firespot. For the first time, Dan realised that it might not be a terribly bad thing to not fit in perfectly. In fact, he wondered if trying to fit in was where he had been going wrong all along.

And so he had resolved himself to tell Phil. Tell Phil everything, if he wanted to hear it.

And Phil was here, and now they were sat with their legs hanging over the edge of the roof, hands intertwined and hair blowing lightly in the breeze, and Phil’s blue eyes fixed on his own brown ones, and Dan tried as hard as he could.

‘I’m not going to ever try and excuse anything I do,’ He said as he watched Phil’s and his own legs swing back and forwards together in time, the dark gardens of the school far below their feet, ‘But you said you wanted to know what was wrong. And… I guess I was terrified of making my parents hate me. Well, I mean, I think they already do, but…’

For a second it looked like Phil was about to interrupt, so Dan looked up at him in earnest, begging the midnight-haired boy not to stop him.

‘I’m kinda just in the way all the time. Like, I don’t have any siblings or anything, and I never had any friends round either, unless my mum tried to force me. But I wasn’t all that good at making friends… I don’t know, it all sounds so stupid! I’m just a dickhead, I just-’

‘Dan,’ Phil’s hand gently squeezed his own and then he let go, wrapping his arm around Dan’s waist.

Automatically, Dan leant into him.

‘Have I done too much to be forgiven?’

‘I don’t know. You sprained Chris’ leg. Or something, I’m not sure. He’s not gonna be able to walk properly for a few weeks, so he’s not best pleased, I’ll give you that. I just… I want to like you, Dan. A lot of the time, I do. I want this to not be you, to not be your fault…’

‘But it is.’

‘But it is.’

Dan pressed his face hard into his hands before scraping his fingers back over his scalp and through his tangled, windswept hair.

‘Please don’t hate me,’

‘I don’t hate you, Dan!’ For some reason, Phil looked genuinely shocked, even a little angry, ‘We’re going around in circles here! If I hated you, would I be here? I want you to be you, the real Dan that I know is inside there, the one that sings his lungs out to Muse, and the one that wants to be a good person and do something with his life, and the one that runs across a steep wet roof because he thinks his friend is going to fall off-’

‘Anyone would have done that.’

‘No they wouldn’t.’

‘I don’t deserve another chance.’

‘If you keep saying that, I am going to get so annoyed that I might just swandive off this roof of my own accord.’ Phil growled in reply.

The rain had stopped by then but the night was still thick with the memory of it; the roof tiles slick and shiny and the leaves on the trees heavy and dripping and Dan’s hair damp and curling.

And the night’s storm had left its legacy on the morning with the thick black clouds that filled the sky, the heavy silent night pressing down all around them, not uncomfortably so, but overwhelmingly, deafeningly silent. The blackness was oppressing and inky, torn apart only by the golden glow of streetlights far away towards the road, and the tiny pinpricks of light that dotted the Foreston gardens.

It was now that hour where everything is dead: infact, it was no longer even night, but the miserable time of morning where the only people that were awake in England were the ones sailing their lorries down the motorway in the black, eyes drooping and misty with lack of sleep and radio station turned up loud with garish club remixes to try and keep them awake. Back at Foreston, Dan talked. He spoke in a low voice that barely even classified as a whisper, his tone raw and his speech filled with constant pauses to take rasping breaths. He tried to keep those breaths as quiet as possible, as so not to break the thick darkness around them, and he started to tell Phil everything.

He even told Phil about how he had been expelled from his previous two schools- the posh, private boarding schools that had thrown him out after he got too out of control. The threat his dad made to him the night before he left for Foreston Academy- if he got expelled again, he would be sent off to a behavioural camp.

Dan told Phil how his father was always true to his word.

Phil had a raincoat on, dark and crinkly and shiny with wet, and Dan pressed his side into it, the material transferring all the rainwater straight onto his jumper, causing him to shiver as it soaked right through. Dan had been drenched earlier in the night after his stupid venture into the woods, but he had seized the oppurtunity to dry himself off and change when he noticed the room was empty.

But he didn’t regret cuddling up to Phil, because as he continued to talk, and the black-haired boy listened in perfect silence, he felt a hand tentatively wind itself in his.

And when Dan looked up into Phil’s face, the boy gave him a look as if to say ‘Is this okay?’

And Dan tried to give him a look back that adequately conveyed the message, ‘yes, yes. All the yes’s in the world, yes.’

 

Eventually, Dan’s story was over, and he was overwhelmed with a guilt and embarrassment for having talked solely about himself for so long. But Phil gave his hand a comforting squeeze.

Dan placed his hand on the cool tile beside him to steady himself, and almost overbalanced as it slipped in a puddle.

Phil caught him in under one arm, eyes wide.

And so, for some strange reason that Dan couldn’t quite comprehend, but which filled his heart with warmth and hope nonetheless, Phil sat there on the edge of the roof with him for the rest of the night as Dan told him all about his pitiful life and shortcomings and failings, and then Phil told Dan about his dreams and aspirations, and Dan slowly started to unfurl, telling Phil more and more about himself, until he finally reached the point where he felt the boy knew him better than anyone else ever had.

And when they sat there in silence to watch the sun rise, Dan put his head on Phil’s lap not because he was cold, but simply because he wanted to listen to the slow beat of his heart, and melt into the soft comfort of his enveloping arms.

6. headphone sharing - masterpost

 

anonymous asked:

Hey, found your blog today randomly and love it:) I don't ship Touken because I just can't see it happening. I don't generally agree with Tokyo Ghoul shipping. You seem to be a polite person (that's what I have read so far). I'm just curious — why do you ship Touken? May I ask why? You don't have to answer.

Welcome to my blog! Thank you for leaving such a positive feedback! (⁄ ⁄^⁄ᗨ⁄^⁄ ⁄)

I must confess that I have a problem of answering questions like that. Some months ago, I got invited to a barbecue. I met some Tokyo Ghouls fans, we had a nice conversation and at some point we ended up at the shipping discussion. While everyone was talking about their OTP (if i remember correctly, I was surrounded by “Shuuneki” and “Hidekane” supporter, haha) I remained silent; it’s not that I felt lonely, but they were able to put their thoughts in a short shape and form. And I couldn’t help, I wasn’t able to do my job in a few sentences… orz. ┐( ̄ヮ ̄)┌ But listen to the shipping opinions of others was kind of interesting.

Huhm, getting emotionally attached to something or someone is a process that takes a while. It’s not that I had a *click* moment where I suddenly started loving them. I just found myself joining their journey in an instant of eternity. Usually I don’t start shipping two (fictional) characters… but if something did happen, it happened. Whether it’s right or wrong. And some part of me will always be loving them… the two are basically separate characters anyway and I love them like that as well. I love them for many reasons; for personal reasons, their character, their development,…

Well, I think I might have said this somewhere before, but one factor that influenced my “shipping decision” is their nonverbal communication; simply facial expressions. The way they look at each other is worth more than a thousand words. I actually enjoy (”enjoy”; more like “Okay, this is causing me serious emotional harm…”) these moments more than their actual conversation. 。・゚(゚⊃ω⊂゚)゚・。

➊ “This is all my fault… I’m sorry.” (Kaneki, Chapter 72) [On my first manga run] The first thing I did after seeing this: I went into my kitchen and made a pot of my favorite coffee. And I have drunk it. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. This little boy was being tortured 2 or 3 times everyday for 10+ days and he took the blame for her injuries she received by her brother. That facial expression… and her reaction…

“See you later, Touka-chan…” (Kaneki, Chapter 79) When he is forcing himself to smile, because he is trying to stop her from joining his group. And he felt so bad about the whole situation that he had to look away. Why are you always lying? Please, stop lying! 

➌ Their first reaction when they haven’t seen or talked to each other for several months…

➍ Kaneki’s reaction when Touka told him quite emotional hurt that he shouldn’t return to Anteiku anymore. This always got me. According to his reaction, he never really expected to hear that of the least of her. 。゚(*´□`)゚。

➎ The crying face of Touka. “Why did you have to change?” (Touka, Chapter 120) She always had a tough time passing emotional boundaries with others. That was a face burned into his memory like no other. And it had positively an influence on his decision.

➏ An amnesiac Kaneki/Haise entered unsuspecting a certain coffee shop. He just wanted to drink a cup of coffee with “his kids”. Then a certain waitress appeared from the front door and…



.+:。(ノ・ω・)ノ゙ That being said… to a degree, I believe in fate. I believe, some things happen, and were ment to happen, but not all things are determined by fate. We make are own decisions, but actual things that happen to us, like we were at the ‘right place at the right time’, is fate. That’s my personal opinion. And that’s why I also believe in John Gay’s (English Dramatist and Poet) famous words: “We only part to meet again.”

I think, Kaneki and Touka deserve the golden pride award in this discipline. To be honest, I wish, they would stop repeating this quote over and over again… (ಥ__ಥ) Sensei, make your mind up!



Another important reason is perhaps their relationship development itself. They started out as strangers who didn’t know how to deal with each other. They didn’t get along well together; they are different as night and day, but at the same time they complement each other perfectly. He deals with the rough side of her tongue and her tomboyish behavior without complaining. And he who plants kindness gathers her acceptance/respect/trust, because it caused Touka to think about her behavior. ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ One reason why she was softening later. While Kaneki’s mother almost never had the time to spend with him, he stayed in his father’s study room. His mother didn’t have the strength, the resolve to turn back. And that’s why he never got an ability to gain strength. But with Touka he had the chance to change that to a certain degree, because she spent a long time training with him. He needs someone to push his limits. The once strangers became close.

I am in love all these little things. Sorry, I couldn’t have written a shorter response. Somehow I can’t explain it simply; maybe the roots of my OTP love began to grow too deep. I’m pretty sure there are other things I could list, but the reply is already so long. You may understand me better when you have read it. After all this only my opinion. People see it differently and I’m absolutely fine with their thoughts. If you don’t like them in this way, you are free to do so, sweety. ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ I must say, I’m embarrassed by the way I answer it, because it sounds a little bit sentimental. They ruined me. No, Sensei ruined me. Though, I’m quite proud to support them. One major reason why I started “choukoto” over a month ago. If i think about it long enough, I could cry… lol. Narw, it was impossible to formulate a perfectly unbiased opinion with “this kind of question”: I want to apologize, if I offended someone.

onlyalittleteenwolfobsessed  asked:

I don't know really how to request something but here it goes can you do a fluff smut(but if you don't do smut that something really fluffy) where i was put in a room with Luke who used to be my really big crush in high school and middle school and best friend but we lost touch in High School once he became popular and I sit down and talk to him about why he ignored me and it was because he didn't want to fall for his best friend and than after that is when it becomes all fluff-smut? Thank you!!

“C’mon, Y/N, we’re roommates now. You can’t ignore me forever!”

As Luke speaks you find your eyes ripped from the magazine you’ve been flicking through and over to connect with his. His sparkling baby blues are filled with sincerity and you can tell he really wants to talk.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Luke. You know this already.”

Luke sighs and walks across the room, dropping onto the sofa beside you and plucking the shining pages from your hands. You grumble and cross your arms, acknowledging you’re going to have to talk to him.

“I just don’t understand why you hate me so much…” He admits, shifting on to sofa and peering to look at you.

You sigh.

“Luke, we used to be best friends in high school but the second you found new, more popular friends, you iced me out and left. Just because we were made roommates it doesn’t mean I want to be your friend.” You explain, a hot flush travelling through your body as you remember the feeling of crushing rejection as your best friend ditched you for the popular crew, the people he swore he’d never get on with.

“I didn’t ice you out! You stopped answering my texts and calls and I had to give up.”

You scoff, shaking your head. “If you’d wanted to be my friend you would’ve stayed my friend, Luke. You left me and I’ve moved on now. Just tell me one thing…”

“What is it?” He asks, the blond-haired boy biting down on his bottom lip as he wrings his hands together.

“Why did you leave me in the first place? We were friends for six years and you didn’t seem to care when you went.”

Luke winces, rubbing his temples as painful memories fill his mind.

“I couldn’t be your friend anymore because I didn’t think of you like a friend. I was- fuck, Y/N, I was falling for you and I knew that you didn’t feel the same way. I had to distance myself or I would’ve fallen for you completely.”

He screws his eyes shut as you digest this new information, your jaw slack and your mind racing.

“You liked me?” You utter, not being able to grasp what he’s saying.

“I did, a lot. It hurt a lot to distance myself but it hurt more to see you with other boys. I’m sorry, I know it was a dick move and I know I should’ve done something else but at the time it was the only thing I could think of.”

Luke turns to look at you, his face covered in anxiety as he waits for your reaction.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Luke,” You grumble, shaking your head in astonishment. He looks confused so you elaborate, “I liked you too, that’s part of why it hurt so much to have you leave.”

He makes a small oh noise, the sound dying in the back of his throat.

“I actually still like you,” You confess, warmth tickling the sides of your cheeks.

“You still like me?” Luke questions dumbly, blinking a few times.

“That’s what I just said, doofus.” You roll your eyes, unable to prevent a small smile spreading across your lips. Luke swallows deeply, eyes tracing around the curves of your face before letting his gaze dip down to settle on your lips.

“I like you too…”

You feel the mood of the room change and become aware of how close he’s sitting, his thigh pressed against yours.

“Well…Are you going to do anything about it?” You question, an edge of humour hidden in your voice.

Luke catches the hint and clears his throat, turning to the side and tilting his head so his lips are only a few centimetres from yours. His left hand moves up to gently cradle your cheek and he leans closer, glancing up and searching your eyes for any sign of hesitation.

You nudge your head forward and feel his soft lips brushing against yours, the feeling unusual but nice. His grip on your cheek stiffens as he kisses back harder, your noses clashing against each other as he moves to deepen the kiss.

You rest your hands around his shoulders and play with the short pieces of hair sticking out from the nape of his neck.

After a moment he pulls back, a smile embedded across his face.

“Are you okay with this? Because I don’t want to-”

You cut him off with a shake of your head.

“Stop talking, Luke, you’ve talked enough already. Just kiss me,” You demand, your voice full of humour as he nods quickly.

“Your wish is my command.”

College!5sos blurb night with @pretendtobepunkrock and @cliffwoes!!

My theory on The Heir's ending...
  • This is the first time in my fiction-reading life that I cannot choose or predict with confidence who I think would ultimately end up with the protagonist.
  • ((Curse you Kiera for creating such adorable guy contestants!!!))
  • But my bet is that Eadlyn would ultimately choose between Kile and Erik, two of the guys I believe she has the most chemistry with, but at the same time both have to overcome respective conflicts to be together.
  • To be honest, when we were first introduced to Kile, a guy Eadlyn wouldn't want to be with who happened to be Marlee's son and was conveniently placed into the Selection, my first reaction was "Oh no, this love story is gonna be sooooo predictable."
  • But as the story went by, I felt myself rooting for Kidlyn. Unlike Aspen in the first trilogy, Kile was interestingly different and quite out of the norm from the regular predictable love interests. His chemistry with Eadlyn during the Selection was surprisingly exciting, although for now it's mostly physical.
  • Kile might fall for Eadlyn for real. But we all know he's not the type who would want to be roped down by the Royal Family, and he's made that very clear. People may think that since Kile's the "childhood friend", he'd automatically belong to the trope where he'd never in a million years be chosen in the end by the protagonist.
  • What they don't understand is that Kile doesn't exactly fit that trope. Sure they grew up together, but up until the Selection, they didn't like being with each other. In fact, both abhorred the thought of them getting paired together (I really think either Josie or Marlee put his name in the Selection).
  • But unlike the "Childhood Friend" trope, Kile isn't a bland character who you would immediately toss away as soon as you find out he's in love with the protagonist.
  • And unlike the "Hate-At-First-Sight-Which-Turns-To-Love" trope AKA the Tsundere type, Kile DOES know the real Eadlyn, mostly her negative side, and honestly it's more or less justified. And he's DEFINITELY not pissing her off because that's how he shows his affection.
  • He said it himself, he let his frustration for being trapped into the castle walls into his actions towards Eadlyn.
  • His actions are quite understandable, and it's great how even though he's known as someone Eadlyn grew up with, we're still getting to know this love interest, and only during the Selection did both Eadlyn and Kile realize that there really is more to a person when you get stuck in some bad situation.
  • Plus, they'd make a really good Designer couple <3 they could collaborate and make beautiful creations together!
  • Erik, while a part of me hoped that he didn't start developing romantic feelings for Eadlyn in this book (I wanted a slow, gradual pace. But I still ship them too), I knew that something was going to happen between the two the moment they first met.
  • As their relationship developed, especially when Erik led Eadlyn to safety during the Kitchen wars, I began thinking "Oh, maybe there really is hope between these two!".
  • Erik has somewhat became Eadlyn's safety blanket during the Selection, a genuine friend who has no ulterior or romantic motives to become close to her, which is what exactly Eadlyn needs at this time. I don't know if Eadlyn realized that her feelings for Erik have turned romantic, but it's obvious that Erik has fallen for her.
  • Except (gasp!) He's not part of the Selection. The only reason he's there was to be Henri's translator (whom I absolutely love in this book! Henri's just an adorable sweetie pie!). It's clear that this guy's struggling between the rules and his feelings, also since he adores Henri as well.
  • Which brings him into the same category as Kile in which either one of the two contenders or Eadlyn would have to sacrifice something huge in order to be with Eadlyn.
  • The easiest route for Eadlyn would definitely be choosing either Hale or Ean. But we know these two would never really have a chance, although I guess we can't say for sure about Ean but we'd definitely know that it wouldn't be because of love.
  • Henri... as much as I love him, he's never gonna be it (although a little part of me wants him to be The One).
  • It all boils down to Kile and Erik, two people whom Eadlyn would have to sacrifice for if she decides to choose either of them.
  • So my theory about the conclusion is... *drumroll please*
  • That Eadlyn would NOT become Illea's future Queen.
  • I believe that the crown would be passed down to Kaden.
  • There MUST be a reason why Eadlyn keeps complaining about having this responsibility, and why Kaden seems to be so wise and knowledgeable about the kingdom's problems WITHOUT being forced to, even moreso than Eadlyn.
  • Simple as that, if Eadlyn abdicates the throne, then there wouldn't be a problem with her choosing either Kile or Erik.
  • Now I know this would not sit well with some readers especially feminists or plain ol' readers who're sick of seeing female protagonists throw their rationality out for love.
  • I mean, why would she give up the throne (not to mention becoming the first female ruler of Illea) for a bunch of losers whom she's fallen in love with???
  • Well, I would've been the first to complain if it weren't for the fact that Eadlyn keeps complaining and complaining about becoming Queen to the point of irritating me.
  • If anything, the fact that she's the future Queen isn't something positive for her even though it's supposed to be. Rather, it destroyed something inside her that could've made her happier as a human being even without romance to think about.
  • Not every person is fit to rule a kingdom or rather feels forced to do the job but is somewhat failing. It just so happens that Eady's one of them, and coincidentally she's female.
  • I'm not trying to put down women since I'm a girl myself. What I'm trying to say is that man or woman, this could happen to anyone. It's just a cause of bad timing.
  • So in conclusion, I think Eady's not going to be The Heir. She may choose a guy during the end of the Selection, but that doesn't guarantee that everything will sail as smoothly as Maxon and America's love story.
  • Now returning back to Kile and Erik, although it's really difficult to decide whom Eadlyn might end up with, I'd have to say that I'm leaning a tad bit more to Kile.
  • It can't be a coincidence that America and Marlee's offsprings are given a chance to develop feelings, or the fact that both are interested in designing (granted, in different courses) and freedom beyond the castle walls.
  • Erik may be a really nice guy whose understanding, comforting personality compliments Eadlyn's rather outwardly harsh but surprisingly fragile personality.
  • But Eadlyn might not really need that anymore when she's free of her reign.
  • Kile already understands Eadlyn, not to mention they have been technically living together since they were babies. They'd definitely relate to each other more than Erik would, and seeing their progress in The Heir, it wouldn't be so far-fetched to see them grow together until they just couldn't bear to leave the other.
  • So there. That's my take on how The Heir series would end, or rather who Eadlyn would end up with. Note that this is only a theory and does not have to be taken seriously.
  • All this aside... HOW CAN I WAIT ANOTHER WHOLE YEAR FOR THE NEXT BOOK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
"Look at me!"
  • Harry: You were staring at yourself in the mirror, your reflection not showing what you wanted. You looked bloated, fat was in places that you never noticed before. You continuously sat in front of the mirror pinching at you arms, stomach, and thighs. The scale said you lost 10 pounds so why does it feel like you have gained 45? The media was always slamming you about being Harry's biggest girlfriend but you never caught sight of what they saw until today. You laid face down on the bed and just started to weep. You wish you could go back to the time when you didn't need to worry about body image, when you were tiny and proud of it. You were having a mental breakdown and you were all alone. "Babe! I'm home!" Harry's voice echoed through the house. You tried to get yourself together before Harry came up stairs, but you were a little too late. "What's going on?" He asked kicking off his shoes and sitting next to you in bed. "Nothing." you shrugged trying not to worry him. "You can tell me anything, you know that." He insisted kissing your cheek. There was a moment of silence and you then poured yourself out to him. Told him all about how you feel. After you finished your rant you hung your head, ashamed that you said anything. "Hey, look at me." he cooed as you lifted your head. "You're perfect to me, you're the best thing that has happened to me in a while, so stop getting yourself down and stop caring what everyone else thinks, okay?" He smiled, and you closed your eyes and nodded. "Because I think you're perfect." He said bringing your lips to his, sharing one last kiss before you both drifted into a slumber.
  • Niall: You and Niall were back at it again. You guys are having another argument over something stupid because he was in another one of his moods. "I am so tired of walking on eggshells around you! Its always one thing after another with you!" He yelled slamming his hands on the table. It was probably best that you were on opposite sides because you probably could have strangled him. "You think you're walking on eggshell around here? I haven't even done anything and you're screaming at me! You think I don't walk on eggshells!" You retaliated. "You're such a bitch yanno, and I work my ass off everyday unlike you who just sits around on yours! ." That one hurt, and you had no come backs. You were too nice to call him anything back so you took your hands off the table and walked away. It took him a minute to realize what he did wrong, and he was soon following you as you went to grab your shoes. "Where are you going?" He asked. "I can't be here right now." You sighed slipping on your Vans, lacing them loosely. "You can't just leave." He said grabbing your wrist. "Watch me." You said shaking your wrist loose and going to the door. "No wait!" He insited blocking the door. "I didn't mean what I said, I was angry and stupid." You avoided his eyes and tried to push pass him. "Look at me!" He said as you decided to look up. "I love you." He said. "Niall." You sighed. "No, I love you, you're not allowed to leave." He said his eyes almost tearing up. "Let me leave." You insisted.
  • Zayn: You hung your head as Zayn kept pacing back and forth. You knew what you did was wrong, but you don't even remember what happened exactly. "I can't believe you did this." He boomed. "To be fair I was drunk." You said, head still hung. "You honestly think that makes everything better?" He asked. "My drunk fiancé can't even stay loyal tp me, at a famous bar, and there were people watching your every move! Do you know how that looks!" He started yelling, getting madder ever minute. "You're ruining everything that we worked so hard to keep normal, do you realize that?" He asked angrily. "I know, it was a mistake, I don't even know what happened." You sighed, knowing he was mad. "You have nothing to say for yourself do you? You haven't even apologized yet, you have been trying to form an excuse." He was angry, his fists in tiny balls at his sides. "I can't apologize for something that I am not even sure happened!" You said quiet as possible. "Look at me!" He demanded and your head snapped to his face, you knew that was a mistake. His eyes were filled with pain, you could see the love for you, but he was just disappointed. "Nothing?" He questioned. "You have nothing to say?" You dropped your head. "No, look at me!" He demanded again. "I'm sorry." You whimpered. "I really am."
  • Liam: You and Liam have been getting more and more serious in your relationship. You have been spotted in public together and that just helped with you guys coming out as a couple and not just best friends. You guys were on your way to a movie when you both got mobbed by the paparazzi. Technically, management wouldn't let Liam admit to anyone about you but the constant media attention has given people a hint. "I don't know Liam." you said playing with your fingers. "I don't think it would be good media for you if we were together." You sighed. "What are you talking about?" He asked resting his hand on yours. "You know the word is getting around about us and I don't think people are going to like you being with me." He started to rub your hand slowly. "What in hell makes you think that?" He asked. "You know, I'm not like Sophia or Danielle I'm not a model, or dancer, or anyone important. I just think I am not the best right now." He interlocked your fingers. "Look at me." He said lifting your chin with his free hand. "I could care less what anyone else thinks, I love you and you should know that." He said kissing your hand.
  • Louis: You are having dinner with Louis family for the first time. You and his sisters got along just fine, and they loved you at first sight, it was his mom who wasn't a big fan. Louis's past relationships went pretty far and each time they ended in demise, so his mom was very skeptical of you and she didn't seem to pleased. As soon as you sat down and Louis introduced you two you could feel the tension. When she asked about school and what your studying for she basically laughed when you said childhood education. You didn't understand why she was acting like she hated you before you even met. The question became too much for you to handle before you excused yourself from the table to go to the bathroom. You went up the stairs to the bathroom an you just took a few deep breaths. A few moments later there was a light knock on the door. "Darling, its me let me in." Louis's voice ran through the door. You opened it and he stepped in. "Are you okay, you seemed frazzled when you left." He said holding my hands. "Yeah, I'm fine." I sighed. "No you're not, what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" He asked. "Its silly, I just know your mom doesn't like me." I sighed. "First of all who cares, second of all look at you, you're perfect, my mom would have to be crazy to not think you are the most perfect thing in the world." He smiled. "Look at me." He said. "Get out of your head, you're perfect." He smiled and kissed your head.
  • -Jenni: )

i actually wrote this for incests bc she requested i write something happy for once (ridiculous, right, i wrote perfectly fine and happy things for what i did of iwaoi week)

and i still like it so

Dating Oikawa may be tiring, it may be exactly like not dating him (with the added bonus of a few rights each has towards the other), but it’s… rewarding… Or so Iwaizumi tries to console himself as he’s pinned beneath the heavier’s sleeping weight, too hot for this shit.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hannigram is a really messed up pairing, it's all about abuse, all Hannibal does is hurt Will. They don't love each other, they just want to destroy each other. I don't understand you people who ship this. You're all stupid and you romanticize abuse by making it seem cute. You're fucking sick.

Okay…. First of all, you’re rude. But I will try to be nice because I don’t want to waste any energy by getting mad and figting with you.

No one is ‘romanticizing abuse’ here. I think everyone who ships Hannigram knows that what Hannibal did to Will and what Will did to Hannibal (cause Will wasn’t a saint either, mind you) was not cute and not okay. Yes, it is true, they do have a rather toxic relationship, but at the same time, it is the most epic love story I ever saw on television. It’s unique and dark and intense and they do love each other. They are very complex and complicated characters, which is why their relationship is hard to understand. But I’ll tell you how I see it and why it’s my OTP.

I think Hannibal loves Will more than he loves anyone else. He is obsessed with him because he saw something in Will that he had never found before. Will is very angry at Hannibal for everything Hannibal did, to him and to others, but at the same time, he does love him too. Will had a lot of chances to murder Hannibal but he never did it. And even at the end, in the Finale, the first thing he said to Hannibal when he saw him was “You were supposed to leave…” He expected him to run away, he hoped he would, because even after everything, he wanted Hannibal to be safe. He wanted him to escape. Hannibal felt too betrayed though, because he had trusted Will and he had all these plans and dreams about running away with him and Abigail and being a family together. He thought they would be happy. Hannibal was crying when he left the house because he realized he had lost the one person he loved the most.

I think Hannigram is not a ship for everyone. You do need to enjoy dark, brutal themes in order to like Hannigram, but isn’t that a given with the Hannibal series in general?

I got a bit carried away and ranted a lot but your message really disturbed me. You don’t have to like this ship, no one is forcing you to. But don’t say we’re all ‘romanticizing abuse’ and that we’re sick. Ask more people why they ship Hannigram if that’s what you want to know, but at least try to be polite. I’m just saying.

  • Charamei: I do wonder how Gallifreyan culture accommodates the fact that as a species they virtually all have some kind of really severe obsession, though
  • Charamei: like, I suspect the obsession-as-species-trait is related to the fact that they have obscenely long lives
  • Dromeianindistress: Well, they probably set their own work hours
  • Dromeianindistress: Except for politicians, whose obsession is generally politics
  • Charamei: indeed
  • Charamei: not that we're looking at anyone in particular, of course
  • Charamei: any three people
  • Dromeianindistress: Not, not at all
  • Dromeianindistress: And yeah, it's probably related to their lifespan
  • Charamei: yeah
  • Charamei: Gallifreyans don't seem to have 'old age' as much as 'I got bored of being alive and stopped getting up in the morning and then stopped breathing'
  • Dromeianindistress: XD
  • Dromeianindistress: This is the species that schedules their own death
  • Charamei: yup
  • Charamei: are legally obliged to, in fact, so they can get re-uploaded
  • Charamei: because they never actually stop existing, they just have a brief respite from being alive
  • Dromeianindistress: yep
  • Dromeianindistress: *side-eyes Pandak*
  • Charamei: XD
  • Charamei: but, like... someone like the Master, who develops an obsession with a person. There's got to be some kind of system for dealing with that in people who aren't complete homicidal maniacs in every other respect as wellk
  • Dromeianindistress: True
  • Dromeianindistress: But what?
  • Charamei: idk
  • Charamei: I'd say rehab, but they need *something* to focus on
  • Charamei: ...this is going to get very Black Ribboner, isn't it
  • Dromeianindistress: ....It would
  • Dromeianindistress: And of course there would be a very complex ritual involved
  • Dromeianindistress: I wonder if they ever tried to make Koschei do it
  • Charamei: probably
  • Charamei: that's probably how he devloped the secondary obsession with universal domination
  • Charamei: slight backfire
  • Dromeianindistress: Slight
  • Dromeianindistress: He left mid-ritual
  • Charamei: needed a pee
  • Dromeianindistress: XD
  • Dromeianindistress: No, left Gallifrey
  • Charamei: ah
  • Charamei: well, you know what the queues for the toilets can be like
  • Dromeianindistress: XD
  • Charamei: one of the rules of Gallifreyan obsession, of course, is that it must be downplayed in public at all times owing to Reasons of pretentiousness
  • Charamei: and honestly, as long as you're on Gallifrey this is fine, because everyone knows that when you say 'small hobby' you actually mean 'consumes my every waking thought'
  • Dromeianindistress: XD
  • Charamei: then you get offworld and some aliens have things that they just... do for a while and then get bored of?
  • Charamei: and then they do something else?
  • Dromeianindistress: And they do it for, like, a year
  • Dromeianindistress: Like, why even bother?
  • Charamei: seriously
  • Dromeianindistress: You haven't even gotten started until you've spent at least a century on it
  • Charamei: and during that year they don't even learn everything there is to learn about the thing and write five monographs
  • Charamei: what are they even doing with their hobby time
  • Charamei: relaxing?
  • Charamei: ...I wonder if this is why Gallifreyan culture seems to like paradoxes so much, because you can go round them forever and never get to the end
  • Dromeianindistress: oooo
  • Charamei: they're the perfect timewasters
  • Dromeianindistress: Well, they do have several millenia to waste
  • Dromeianindistress: Also it's not considered odd if a Time Lord takes a century off work to pursue something that's caught their interest
  • Charamei: no
  • Charamei: in fact doesn't Four say that? Admittedly he's probably being a prat
  • Charamei: "I'm entitled to a fifty-year break every two centuries" or something
  • Dromeianindistress: XD
  • Dromeianindistress: I'd say it's accurate, though
  • Charamei: Time Lords with silly little obsessions
  • Charamei: and just how far will their otherwise completely oppressive justice system allow leeway for this shit
  • Charamei: (Aliens must get so confused)
  • Charamei: (apparently 'Well, knitting has always been a small hobby of mine...' is an acceptable reason to commute a sentence from forced regeneration to a mere five hours of torture)
  • Charamei: (and for some reaosn it doesn't work when the aliens try it)
  • Dromeianindistress: XD
  • Dromeianindistress: Leela figuring out the justice system
  • Charamei: omg yes
  • Dromeianindistress: And asking Romana questions
  • Charamei: yes
  • Dromeianindistress: and Romana doesn't see what the problem is
  • Charamei: and Andred, and Narvin
  • Dromeianindistress: Yes, and Rodan
  • Dromeianindistress: Even Brax, on occasion
  • Charamei: and they all get more and more uncomfortable because nobody wants to admit the real reason for it
  • Dromeianindistress: It's just not something you *talk* about
  • Charamei: there are some things you just don't talk about with aliens, even friendly ones, and the major flaw inherent in Time Lord psychology is one of them
  • Charamei: no
  • Charamei: it's just something you kind of... accept, and work around in your friends, and condemn in your enemies
  • Charamei: (Romana and Darkel slinging 'Well she's completely obsessed with being President!' at one another and everyone just kind of smiles and nods like, of course you both are, otherwise you'd be doing something else)
  • Dromeianindistress: yes
  • Dromeianindistress: XD
  • Dromeianindistress: And Brax has 'a small interest in art collecting'
  • Dromeianindistress: Which is why Romana hasn't turned him in for breaking every law of time out there to build his collection
  • Charamei: exactly
  • Charamei: Narvin's mild interest in astronomy probably translates to his entire bedroom being covered in star charts
  • Dromeianindistress: Romana doesn't even blink when he points out an extremely obscure fact about a minor space phenomenon relevant to the discussion
  • Charamei: nope
  • Dromeianindistress: (...there probably isn't a rehabilitation process for problematic obsessions. You just get mind probed a couple times as a warning, then exiled if you don't find something else)
  • Charamei: (...yeah)
  • Charamei: (there are some psychic doctors who specialise in fixing this stuff but you have to go and actually find them)
  • Dromeianindistress: (and most people don't *want* to)
  • Charamei: (no, because wanting to destroy the universe is perfectly harmless, it's only a thought exercise, of course they'd never... oh, hey, a Doomsday device!)
  • Dromeianindistress: ( XD )
  • Dromeianindistress: (Well there was also Shada)
  • Charamei: (yeah)
  • Charamei: (on the plus side, it does probably mean that people give Leela more leeway than you might expect when it comes to going hunting etc)
  • Charamei: (Andred and Rodan explained it as a mild interest and everyone just kind of nodded knowingly and left her to it)
  • Charamei: (she has no idea why of course)
  • Dromeianindistress: (Most Gallifreyans don't actually realize everyone in the universe isn't like this)
  • Charamei: ( no)
  • Charamei: (that's just what happens when you get interested in something)
  • Charamei: (then they go out there and start sabotaging fluid links so they can look around and the aliens are very unforgiving for absolutely no reason)
  • Dromeianindistress: (That's what interest *is*)
  • Charamei: (exactly!)
  • Dromeianindistress: (Really, completely irrational. They'll never understand how these aliens think)
  • Charamei: (nope)
  • Dromeianindistress: (The Rani was totally taken aback when the Doctor tried to get her experiments shut down)
  • Charamei: ( yes)
  • Charamei: (and every time a companion says something like "Are you enjoying this?" the Doctor gets utter culture shock)
  • Charamei: (of course they're enjoying it that doesn't mean they don't also care)
  • Dromeianindistress: (this is what they *do*, this is what they're interested in)
  • Dromeianindistress: (they can't turn that off)
  • Dromeianindistress: (it doesn't mean they don't care about the people involved)
  • Charamei: (the Master enjoys trying to kill them as well but they don't see the humans getting on their high horses about that)
  • Dromeianindistress: (really)
  • Charamei: (filling obsessions just feels good)
  • Charamei: (...we've just found Time Lord sex)
  • Dromeianindistress: (omg)
  • Dromeianindistress: (does that mean Time Lord marriages are 'our obsessions both line up very nicely with each other right now, let's be joined at the hip until they diverge again'?)
  • Charamei: (...quite probably)
  • Charamei: (Darling I very much enjoyed your paper on the inverse correlation of x and y please marry me and we should discuss this at every opportunity)
  • Dromeianindistress: (and they proceed to discuss it for the next 500 years)
  • Charamei: (yes, with occasional pauses to write papers)
  • Dromeianindistress: (...Gallifreyan conversations tend to be very long)
Give Me Love - Chapter Six

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five |

I have one more complete chapter of this I think, then half of a draft of one more part, so I’m running out a little. I wont quit this, and I won’t leave it for too long, but it might take longer than it has done to appear.
I am, however, writing another story (I put a little passage of it up on that Q+A thing) and I’m also working on a prompt that someone sent me, so I can post those instead because both of those should be done soon. Hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm a fellow Lucaya shipper and I agree with you that Maya liked Lucas from the start and it developed even more by the campfire I mean they were practically flirting with each other the entire time and that's were my issue came in. I don't like how Maya went from being rucas #1 cheerleader, to wanting to protect Riley from Missy and making her believe she had nothing to worry about in year book to them now being in a triangle I don't think the writers handle it well.

I kiiinda understand where you’re coming from, and granted, I haven’t gotten around to debulking the S2 episodes in detail yet, but I’ll have to respectfully disagree that the transition was abrupt.

Surface level, it might seem like it, but if you look at how the narrative went from the beginning of S2, you realize that they’ve been steadily moving the character of Maya forward in terms of allowing herself to hope and dream, and in parallel, out of “rucas cheerleader” mode. Which, btw, a part of me thinks she was somehow out of guilt, because she knew Riley had a big crush and she realized she had feelings for Lucas as early as Sneak Attack. There was another level to her animosity towards Missy; it wasn’t just protecting Riley although that was a very strong component of it. And that role she played also slots into what has been her M.O. for Riley throughout their friendship, as illustrated in GM Bay Window, which is “whatever you want”, and that’s what she thought Riley wanted in S1.

GM New World, first episode that actually deals with the events of First Date, we get this from Riley and Lucas, and that sets the tone for the season:

R: Relationships are supposed to be about two people who make the choice to come together by themselves…
L: …Of their own free will at the right point in time.

From that point on, Maya no longer pushes them together, she just goes with the flow (and it’s pretty significant that their romance stagnates as a consequence; they just don’t take romantic initiative on their own).

What happens next? Secret of Life. Another split. Initially, her reflex reaction is to protect Riley and Riley is flipping the f**k out: 

R: Tell me nothing changes.
M: That’s all you have to do, Lucas. You hear me? I just called you by your actual name for the first time ever. That’s how important this is to me. Because it’s important to her. Deny it.
L: I can’t.

And then Maya sees how torn and hurt he is, something that he hasn’t really shown them so far, but that I think she’s sensed. She makes a decision in the cafeteria there to indirectly express some form of support towards him: “I finally like you”, and “That had to hurt” (gave birth to a horse). She opts to crack a joke and try and make him feel better while Riley is still fuming next to her; that’s new. But it’s in reaction to the distress she sees from Lucas. And she understands it. Ofc this episode ends with Maya accepting Lucas for all he is (still such a Huckleberry), and Riley shoving a bucket over his head and making nice (but bringing them back to a very fragile, not entirely truthful status quo). This is the ground for the deepening bond between Lucas and Maya.

After that we have key character moments such as in GM Pluto, where Maya “hope is for suckers” puts a family picture in that box at the end, alone (it was an important staging choice to have everyone exit for her to do this). There is a whole subtext to the Riley/Maya fight in GM Mr. Squirrels that is about Riley/Maya/Lucas, Maya’s fear of what her hidden feelings coming out would do to their friendship (X). Then we get to GM Rules, and well, I really don’t need to explain how big of a step that is: Lucas following Maya, and them having that big reciprocal flirting moment in the hallway. GM Hurricane follows and is HUUUGE for Maya really starting to hope, and also introducing the important notion of the relationship that “gets you ready” for true love via Angela. We get GM New Teacher, where Auggie reads the Archie comic and blatantly foreshadows what’s to come when he brings it up to Riley and Maya at the bay window: “Well… this dark-haired girl and this blonde girl both like the same boy and they all stay best friends. Could that really happen?”

When Yearbook comes around, Maya is surprised when Lucas & her are voted best couple, but a lot of her outward denial could very well stem from the fact that it really strikes a cord within her. I mean, imagine hiding your feelings for a guy for like a year, and you guys are getting closer, but you still see it as a no-go zone, and all of a sudden, everyone around you is endorsing and supporting the relationship. It’s enough to send anyone reeling, and do a double-take. The one who should have come to the defense of Riley/Lucas is Lucas himself, if they were really the big romantic story here. Instead, Riley is the one poeticizing about their “summer rain” relationship, fighting against the whole class with their “they’re like fire”, while Lucas and Maya just sit dumbstruck in the middle. We do not get a Riley/Lucas conversation at the end where Lucas reassures her; we get Lucas/Farkle. In the “two people who make the choice to come together of their own free will” frame, Lucas was really the one who needed to tell Riley she had nothing to worry about if it was the case. But it’s not; she has something to worry about, that’s why we don’t get that scene. As for Maya, she tries to broach the subject, but is shut down and doesn’t pursue it further (”Stop. Riley, is this about the me and Lucas best couple thing?”–> “That doesn’t affect me at all.”). She goes out of her way to make Riley and Farkle come back by acting like Riley, and she comes to a realization that Riley and Lucas are “alike” and falsely concludes that that means Riley loves him like a brother. That’s not true, ofc, but you have to put it in perspective with the fact that Riley has constantly avoided verbalizing explicitly how she feels romantically for Lucas, instead just clinging to him unofficially but not going for anything real (See GM Sneak Attack: what do you want from him?). So for Maya, it’s sort of a moment of subconscious realization that Riley/Lucas have been functioning in friendly, very much alike mode. That was the gist (you’re at your best when you’re just talking to each other); that false boyfriend/brother dichotomy aside (which I think might have something to do with the Hamlet connection). She’s freaked out by it, because seeing Riley/Lucas as not being the big romantic endgame would free her; so she takes off her wig, and asks that everyone takes their usual positions.

So, when you say Maya made Riley believe she had nothing to worry about, I’m guessing you’re referring to that final scene where Riley prompts her about any discoveries about Riley she might have made while she was acting as her. And Maya avoids answering that, but she doesn’t explicitly, directly, at any point in this episode deny that there is something brewing between Lucas & her, except for her expression of confusion in the classroom. And if we fast-forward to GMT, keeping in mind Riley heard and saw Maya as Riley in that classroom (and reacted to that little scene; “what just happened?”), it’s confirmed that she’s had her suspicions for a while, namely, I believe, since Yearbook.

M: I couldn’t watch.
R: I know why. I know that you think I love him like a brother.
M: You know?
R: I know that you’ve thought that for a while.

Right after Yearbook, we get Semi-Formal, where we see how Maya, through a substantial period of time, has dealt with Riley moaning about the no-big ask, and also the I-like-him/I-like-him not. Maya just can’t push them anymore, and imagine how painful it must be to witness Riley debating and being confused about whether she likes him, while she knows she likes him, but still have Riley regard Lucas as hers. 

R: How am I supposed to feel, Maya? I like Lucas, don’t I? You were me. How did I feel when you were me? What are me and Lucas?
M: Just tell me what to say.
R: You know something. Tell me.
M: Go to the dance.

And at the end of Semi-Formal is another big shift: Lucas and Riley don’t resolve anything and fall back, once again, on “we’re friends”, but meanwhile Lucas turns and continues to dance with Maya even when she points it out to him. Lucas takes a step here, and Maya simply doesn’t do anything to stop him.

Next? Creativity. Again, this is obvious. Lucas expresses some deep concern and wishes for Maya while really looking at her, in a show which emphasized the importance of eye contact at its very inception. This is in parallel with Maya embracing her passion for art and fighting for it. GM C+T: Maya has her “oh,oh” moment with Lucas in a direct parallel to Corpanga.

So, yeah, when we arrive to GMT,  and what has been built up in S2 and foreshadowed since S1 (read my Sneak Attack posts) comes to a head, I don’t think it’s abrupt. Everything has in fact been leading up to it, and through S2, we’ve seen Riley reevaluate and frown in confusion quite a bit. What Riley did not really expect, we see in GMT3: Lucas truly liking Maya back, and going on dates with her right away. That’s what gave her whiplash. And it fits with Riley, from SOL, and in Semi-Formal, still sticking to a “Lucas” sketch in her head that is not entirely real. Oh, and here, writers twitting about Rucaya waaaay back in August 2014. But it’s not really a triangle, that’s the thing; it just seems like it is, but it’s actually a rectangle (or a parallelogram, a pentagram perhaps, heck even maybe an hexagon). 

Preference #116 You're in a secret relationship and it's hard to handle:

Harry:
“Hey!” You greeted Harry as you let him into your flat as quickly as possible. After the door was shut and Harry was safe from any fans or paparazzi that would have been able to spot him, he started to take off his hat, sunglasses, and coat. You giggled at how silly he looked in this disguise considering it was too hot for a coat but to dark for sunglasses. He rolled his eyes as you laughed. “Are you gonna laugh at me every time?” He wondered. “Yes” you replied. Once he had rid of his disguise he gave you a warm hug and a sweet kiss. “Hi” he whispered. You smiled “Hello, you smell like a cinnamon candle” you giggled. “Yeah there’s a few of those at my flat” he explained. “Oh okay, nice.” You said giggling again at his familiar and slightly feminine scent. “Are you gonna laugh at that every time too?” He wondered jokingly. Every time…you thought, the two words spinning around in your head for a bit. “Wait…every time… what do you mean by every time, I mean were gonna tell people soon right? I thought this crazy privacy thing was just temporary.” You say; your smile quickly fading. “Um- well I mean it won’t be forever…just-” “I understand you don’t wanna have your personal life out there for everyone to see, but that fact that I can’t even call you my friend…it sucks Haz. I know you’re used to keeping secrets but I’m not…” you paused “and maybe I don’t wanna just be one of your little secrets” you said, not even thinking before you let the words leave your mouth. Harry looked so shocked, but it was too late to take back what you said. “Are you saying you wanna break up?” he questioned. “I don’t want to but-” “Are you unhappy?” He interrupted. “No Harry! You make me happier than anyone else, but it’s hard, I’ve never been in this kind of relationship and you have to understand that.” You told him. “I do (Y/N) I’m sorry, I shouldn’t expect this to be easy for you…but (Y/N) it won’t be forever, and whether it’s private or public, it won’t change how much I love you” he told you using “the L word” for the first time. “You love me?” You say, a smile creeping on your face. “Yes, (Y/N) I do, and I’m not just saying that to get you to stay. I mean it.” He said pulling you into his arms. You sighed, “Okay, I love you too I’m sorry, I just get a little overwhelmed sometimes” you explain. “It’s okay sweetheart” he said as he pressed a kiss to your head.
Niall:
‘Vinicosta’s? This place is hella expensive!’ you thought to yourself as you pulled up to the restaurant your date had requested. You and Niall had met last week when you accidentally fell into his arms after tripping in a crowded shop. You had never felt better than the way you felt when he was holding you, and he seemed to somehow feel the same way because he had nervously asked you out; an offer you could never decline. “Hey! Its nice to see you again” you smiled as Niall found you waiting in front of the expensive restaurant, he went to hug you then kissed your cheek. “You too (Y/N), you look beautiful” he said, with a bright smile. “Thank you, you look nice too” you told him. With that he took your hand and led you into the restaurant. The restaurant was dimly lit and though you were wearing one of your more formal dresses, the minute you walked into the room you felt underdressed. “I have a reservation under Niall Horan” Niall said. The hostess nodded then led us to a big room that was private from the rest. The menus were electronic, on iPads, and your waitress looked like she was a part time model. “Niall this may be the most fancy restaurant I’ve ever been to. Are you sure we’re gonna be able to afford this, I’m totally cool with pizza” you said half joking half not. “You’re sweet. But don’t worry, I can cover it, love.” He said. 'Love, he called me love’ you thought, your heart doing flips. He’d called you that over text, but the word sounded so perfect as it came from his lips. “You’re not some kind of secret movie star are you?” You laughed jokingly, but Niall’s face remained rather serious. “Look (Y/N), there’s something I should tell you. I wish I didn’t have to tell you, because I know it’s only gonna make things more complicated. But I really like you and I don’t wanna start this relationship with a lie…” He rambled on. “What is it Niall? You’re scaring me…just tell me” you said placing a reassuring hand on top of his. “I-I’m in a band, a boy-band called One Direction. It’s pretty popular so…” “So… You’re um famous” you said in shock. He nodded. You looked around at the separated room you were sitting in away from the guest. “So it’s- I mean you- th- that’s how you can afford to eat here…and that’s why we’re in this separate room? So people don’t see you?” you wondered, it all making sense to you now. “Yeah…does that freak you out, because if we’re going to be in a relationship, there may be a lot of secret meetings and private dates between us, but I don’t want you to see me as a famous celebrity I’m still-” “You’re still the sweetheart that caught me when I fell and last week” you finished his sentence. He smiled “Right, So are you okay with this?”. It made you happy that Niall even envisioned you two moving forward passed a first date to have secret meetings and private dates. You thought hard before responding. “I really appreciate you telling me this…It does kinda freak me out, but I really like you too, and I think its worth a shot”
Liam:
“Okay Li, I think I should head home before I fall asleep.” You told him as you were ready to leave his flat. “Okay baby, drive safe” he said as he hugged you, kissed the top of your head, then your lips. “You have to leave through the back door” He reminded you, but you already knew that, you knew it all too well. “I know” you said smiling slightly. Leaving through the back door lead straight to your car, rather than through the front door which lead to the main street where paparazzi and fans could see you leaving Liam’s flat and start to wonder. “I love you” he said with a smile as he started to open the door for you. “Yeah you too” you sighed quietly. “(Y/N)?” “Yes Liam?” you wondered. “What’s wrong? And don’t even think about saying nothing, because I know somethings wrong.”. You sighed again. “You know Liam, you’re right something is wrong. What’s wrong is the fact that it’s almost our 6 month anniversary and I still have to sneak through the back door just to watch Netflix with you. I do love you, a lot , but it’s really hard having to keep so much inside of me. I can’t even tell my best friend that I have a boyfriend and that sucks” “I understand and I’m sorry…” He trailed off, having nothing left to say. “But you can’t just say that every time Liam. I don’t know if I can…if I can do this” you said, your voice now a hushed whisper. “(Y/N) no, please don’t end it like this, you know it’s not my decision, management doesn’t want me to-” he said as he held your hands in his. “I know” you interrupted, “but…” “(Y/N) please just let me talk to Paul, tomorrow I’ll talk to him. Please just don’t leave me, I love you” he said, his voice shaking. Tears started to slip down your face. He should have talked to Paul ages ago; it was only when you threatened to leave that he was actually gaining the confidence to do it. “Let’s just take a break, and when you sort things out with management, call me” you said. You placed a kiss on his cheek and left before he could convince you to stay.
Louis:
“Louis, what would happen if people found out about us?” you wondered out loud. He looked at you, confused, considering you were talking about gummy bears previously. “Well that was random” Louis said, chucking slightly. “Don’t avoid my question Louis” you warned. “I’m not- just what exactly made you think of that?” he wondered. He definitely was avoiding the question. “Well I mean, we’re cuddling in your bed, and it made me think of how much I love you, and that made me think of the other people I love, like my family and my friends from home. I have these thoughts a lot and it makes me sad that you can’t go to my family reunions and meet my crazy uncle, or my sweet grandma who I know would love you and offer to make you cookies, or my older guy cousins who you would really get along with, or my little niece who’s only 3 years o-” “(Y/N),” Louis interrupted, a shameful look on his face.You sat up on the bed, so Louis did too. “No Louis let me finish. My best friend, you’ve never met her either she’s like a sister to me. My best friends boyfriend you haven’t met him, so you don’t know how cute they are together. Or how they can make anyone feel like a third wheel. You’ve never met my friends, you’ve never seen me with them, or how I act when I’m around them. You’ve never seen where I grew up or the people I’ve grown up with, these people that I love so much…and you don’t even know their names” you said, tears now spilling from your eyes. “I don’t mean to make you feel guilty, but it just makes me really sad that you haven’t met such great people and that I don’t even know if you ever will.” you cried out. “Hey hey, (Y/N) Shhh, I will baby” Louis said, holding you closer and trying to calm you down. “When?! When!? At our wedding? Meeting my Dad for the first time as he lets go of my arm after he walks me down the isle? yeah that would be great Louis?” you said sarcastically. You knew you were exaggerating but all that you were saying had to be said. “(Y/N) you know that I’ve been trying to meet your parents! You know how busy my schedule is, I barely have time!” he tells you. “Yeah well maybe you don’t have enough time for me” you said starting to pull away from his embrace. “Wait (Y/N) Please I didn’t mean it like that…I’m sorry. Please come here.” You were reluctant but you never could say no to his hugs so you again wrapped yourself around him. “I’m sorry (Y/N) I know this is hard, you don’t deserve this. You deserve more than me. You deserve someone who can meet your friends and family; your loved ones. I don’t want us to break up b-but If you want to find that someone and leave me, I-I understand.” he said. You couldn’t believe the words he was saying. “But Louis there is no one else I’d want my family an friends to meet” you admitted. “Theres no one else who would like my crazy uncle, no one else my grandma would bake cookies for, no one else my cousins would get along with like they would with you because I love you, louis.” you told him, tears still falling from your eyes and his too. He kissed you. He kissed you with more passion and meaning than ever before. “I love you (Y/N), I’m not sure about a family reunion yet, but I can start with your parents; baby steps.” he said. “Baby steps.” you agreed, before kissing him once more.
Zayn:
You were and Zayn were in a relationship but you were not together. You were in the same country, the same city, the same coffee shop, on the same day, at the same time…but you were not together. You sat near the window while he sat near the back of the cafe. 'You look beautiful today.’ Zayn texted you. You looked over to him and smiled. 'Thank you xx -How are you?’ You answered, now waiting for his response. This was as close as you ever got to going on a date, in public. Sure he’d been to your place a few times, but it was only at night when it was dark and fans and paparazzi were unlike likely to spot him. Sure he had ordered flowers and had them sent to you, but he never got a chance to see your face light up when you got them. And sure, you were in the same place having coffee, but you weren’t together; not really. 'Idk I’m okay I guess’ you replied. 'Just okay? What would make it better?’ 'Honestly? If we didn’t have to this’ 'Do what?’ He wondered but he already knew. 'Text each other from across the same room on our “date”’ 'I’m sorry, you understand why though right? If the fans found out they would tear you apart. We can’t be public’ You sighed and put you head in your hands, tears threatening to slip from your eyes. 'Please don’t be mad’ he texted you, though you hadn’t responded to the previous one yet. 'Im not mad I’m just…it’s really hard, not even being able to tell my family about you.’ You knew he was just trying to protect you but you were strong, you could handle the hate. And even if you weren’t strong enough you had your friends, family and Zayn to support you right? 'Im sorry sweetheart I wish it wasn’t like this’ 'It doesn’t have to be Zayn!’ You wanted to yell. 'Im sorry’ he said again. 'The more you say that, the less meaningful it becomes’ and with that you left the cafe, unsure if you wanted him to chase after you or not.

PART TWO: http://i-write-1d-preferences.tumblr.com/post/101497639981/preference-117-youre-in-a-secret-relationship

A/N: Definitely one of my favorite prefs I’ve written! Thanks to the anon who requested it! btw, REQUESTS ARE OPEN NOW! YAY! I love you xx -Alayna