why does everybody talk about car models as if they know exactly what the other person is talking about



“Let’s not play games. You desire me, don’t you?”
“I already got a chick. We can still be friends though.”
“I just got blown off by a guy I didn’t even go after.”
“You should find a safe, legal alternative to killing him.”
“When I get through with him, there’ll be nothing left but jelly.”
“I brought you some cookies. They’re shaped like hearts.”
“It’s a guy and a girl and they’re discussing… a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Are you gonna have a break down or something? Cause that would totally mess up with my new friends.”
“I don’t have low self-esteem. It’s a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else.”
“So then after the rule thing, next class they put the guys and girls in a separate room and a female counselor talks to them about body image.”
“I don’t get it, you’ve got the entire course memorized. How come you can’t pass the test to get out?”
“I like having low self-esteem, it makes me feel special.”
“You’ve really created the illusion of depth.”
“These are really good. I didn’t know you study life drawings.”
“Oh, yeah… that particular model was quite bursty. I think she had her bursts done.”
“When you’re popular, all unpopular people who look alike anyway.”
“It won’t work my face is too expressive.”
“I love being the hostess. It’s so easy to get home at the end of the night.”
“Would you say sleeping with a guitar in your hands counts as practicing?”
“I think people who run over animals should get run over themselves to see how they like it.”
“Okay, look, I’m not going to rewrite this paper for you, but I will give you a couple of tips that will help you rewrite it.”
“Unless your ex-boyfriend is an authority on D.H. Lawrence, don’t base your thesis on something he said while making out.”
“I have no friends. I walk alone.”
“Do it for the opportunity to look inside people’s houses and find out what screwed up tastes they have.”
“I’m bringing a Polaroid.”
“She has no family. She ate them.”
“She said ‘organism.’ That’s not the same as ‘orgasm.’ “
“I didn’t know you got car sick.”
“Isn’t modeling for people who drop out of high school to pursue a career based solely on youth and looks, both of which are inevitably declared dead at age 25?”
“Don’t fashion people squander their lives loudly worshiping all that is superficial and meaningless while the planet keeps riding a roller coaster to hell?”
“If only men could be more like rats.”
“Sometimes despite a complete lack of INSIGHT, you stumble upon an interesting answer.”
“She’ll never have to worry about mind control.”
“She’ll have to watch out for ferrets building a nest in her head.”
“Do you always do exactly what adults tell you?”
“Hey, Grandma, it’s time for your damn pill.”
“I like your attitude. You’re open to life’s possibilities.”
“It puts a frown on my face, and I don’t like having a frown on my face!”
“Maybe you can inject collagen into your lips in the shape of a smile.”
“Humor may lift your spirits, but it takes a professional to lift your buttocks.”
“I’m a mess, and it’s gonna cost six-thousand dollars to fix!”
“She knew just what I needed: practice boobs.”
“Well, everybody knows that late curfews should be go to people who can use them: attractive and popular people with lots of friends.”
“No pin-headed historical person could ever make that much sense.”
“Ugh, stretch pants. Everywhere are stretch pants.”
“There’s no sadder sight on this earth, than a football player trying to think.”
“You’d never catch me in a job like that.”
“Whatever you’re thinking, say it.”
“This is like that R.E.M. video. Except you can’t read anyone’s mind.”
“All right, let’s not get panicked. We’re going to look at the situation calmly and objectively. Agreed?”
“I’ll ask her. When there aren’t any sharp objects around.”
“Find some other way to feel. Then you won’t feel sad. Good luck.”
“That’s what I get for ten dollars? Are you kidding?”


“Do you really think I could replace you?”
“Hey! I just bought this!”
“What are you doing here?”
“I was looking for the bathroom and all of a sudden you started shooting at me. I thought we promised not to do that!”
“Maybe we should turn back.”
“Shut up and keep walking.”
“Did you just spend two hours dressing up to go the door for one minute and dump your date?”
“If you look your best when you blow a guy off, it makes them feel like you care.”
“Sometimes your shallowness is so thorough, it’s almost like depth.”
“You…. high school Casablanca!”
“Babe, I’ve got a plan.”
“Did a mime crawl in here and die?”
“For your information, this is how deep people dress.”
“Do you know what existential means? Because today someone told me my writing was existential, so I thought I should coordinate, you know, with wardrobe.”
“Let’s finish outfitting, and I’ll tell you all about how nice Mr. Lincoln really died.”
“They want us to come, bro. That’s why they told us not to.”
“Forbidden fruit, man. Forbidden fruit.”
“When you hear yourself talk, does it make sense to you?”
“I’m sorry, what did you say you do? I thought I heard “intelligence”, but that can’t be right.”
“You can’t leave me here with those, those… yuppies!”
“What do you call people in funny outfits who talk about peace and love and stuff?”
“You never told me whether you thought I was…. you know…. cute?”
“I just hope I don’t sound stupid or anything. Not that I would.”
“I know that sometimes certain types of people, jealous people, might think, who does she think she is? Because I sometimes think that. But I can’t let myself go on too long thinking that.”
“I figure, being attractive and popular, that’s what I’m good at. Maybe it’s not that important, but you know, it’s what I can do.”
“Thanks for sharing my day with me.”
“Fashion is fun and everything, but we should really do something about the rainforest and stuff.”
“Remember that conscience I said I didn’t have?”
“When the dentist turned off the gas I had a change of heart.”
“Why don’t you set her up with one of your friends? They’re all normal.”
“Nothing says "be mine” like a pounding heart beneath a floorboard.”
“I knew those straight Cs in math would pay off someday.”
“Then after my mother checks on us at 11:00, we climb out my window, grab the car and meet the guys.”
“I’m sorry about last night.”
“Her hair did leak onto my shoes.”
“The Cadbury Tales are, like, classic, and I think I’d be great in the play.”
“Nobody plays a love scene like you, babe.”
“See something you like or just browsing?”
“Have you ever heard her break wind?”
“Don’t you get it? You did something stupid for a guy. Gee, you may join the human race after all.”