why do you steal all my money

Why We No Longer Have Trumpets

DM: So you enter the palace, and there are trumpets sounding everywhere, the Prince is revealed-

Rogue: I steal a trumpet.

DM: *ignores and launches into his Prince speech*

Rogue: Can I steal a trumpet while the prince is talking

DM: No- Well, fine, roll for it.

*Rogue rolls a 3*

DM: Everyone notices. The guy you just tried to steal from offers to sell it to you for 150G.

Rogue: I roll intimidation to persuade him?

*rolls a 3*

By this point, everyone is dying of laughter.

NPC: It’d take more than that to get my trumpet! Listen, the Prince gives me a stable enough income, I need the money to give my wife a pres-

Rogue: Wait, if you get a stable income, why do you still have money issues. Why is it my responsibility to pay for your wife’s present.

NPC: Well- uh, m-my son, he-

Rogue: Your son spent all your money?! Dude you’re a terrible father and husband, just give me your trumpet you’re better off working somewhere else like a bank.

Monk: Roll psychological damage, on the NPC’s part.

DM: Just take the fucking trumpet it’s literally in a basket beside you it’s worth 5G can we please finish this the game just started 30min ago.

club penguin bans sentence starters
  • "i'm a fucking piece of pizza,"
  • "holy shit toto, we sure as fuck ain't in kansas anymore,"
  • "i ain't fucking with these christmas lights anymore,"
  • "why is the only angry one black?"
  • "get in loser, we're going sledding,"
  • "jesus fucking christ, that cookie hot as shit,"
  • "ah yes, my meth lab is ready,"
  • "i need this life vest 'cos i'm drowning in the pussy,"
  • "i could kill you right now, no one would wear you scream,"
  • "i could go back and pretend to be you,"
  • "fashion police, you're definitely under arrest,"
  • "you're tearing this family apart, ___"
  • "what do you mean you're being murdered? that's illegal, people can't do that,"
  • "i'm wanted for stealing yo girl/boy,"
  • "wanna hear a joke? your future,"
  • "i would like to order all the money,"
  • "when i see stars i think of you. because you're only beautiful from a distance,"
  • "do it for the vine,"
  • "you dress like an idiot,"
  • "girl/boy, are you because i want to take you out,"
  • "hey you forgot something. your social life,"
  • "help me hide this body in here,"
  • "did you just propose, using emojis?"
  • "do drugs they said. it will be fun they said,"
  • "it's called capitalism,"
  • "thank you for helping me commit cannibalism,"
  • "shit, we on national television,"
  • "bitch, throw one more snowball at me,"
  • "can you leave my house please?"
  • "i'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch,"
  • "can i pay you in swag?"
  • "excuse me, do you know where i can find the booty?"
  • "what the flipper?"
  • "santa isn't real,"
  • "what do penguins do in a race? they peng-win,"
  • "a milkshake ain't a goddamn pizza,"
  • "locked up because my eyebrow game was too strong,"
  • "man, look at all this fuckin' dope,"
  • "fuck it, i ain't running,"
  • "hey, do you wanna join my gang?"
  • "i'll ask my mom,"
  • "smooth as butter,"
Who you should fight: RVB AI edition

Alpha: What the hell is wrong with you? Alpha has been through enough—being tortured by the Director,  all the shit he went through with the Blues, which includes but is not limited to time travel and dying a fuckton of times. Let him rest. Do not fight Alpha.

Beta: Holy shit man I mean if you think you can survive. Did you see what she did to the Reds?? And literally anyone and everyone who has crossed her??? Girl’s a fuckin badass who could fuck you up if you even tried it. Do not fight Beta.

Delta: Look I know we all love Delta but c’mon. You know you wanna. Go for it. Punch the nerd. Steal his lunch money. Fight Delta.

Epsilon: Epsilon has been through enough my pal. He’s tired and upset and lonely and holy shit leave him alone??? Let him rest?? Do not fight Epsilon.

Eta: Why would you. Want to fight Eta. Eta is Alpha’s joy. Why would you do this. Do not fight Eta.

Iota: Why??? Iota is Alpha’s fear why would you???? Do this????? Do not fight Iota.

Gamma: Honestly like, go for it. I mean, he assisted in torturing Alpha. His knock-knock jokes are awful. Still; go easy on him. He lost Wyoming. Fight Gamma.

Sigma: THIS FUCKER. PUNCH HIM. PUNCH HIM GOOD. FUCK HIS SHIT UP. WRECK HIM. PUNCH HIM FOR MAINE. PUNCH HIM FOR ALL OF THE FREELANCERS. FUCK. HIM. UP. FIGHT SIGMA.

Theta: Okay first of all why would you want to fight this cinnamon roll. Look deep into yourself to see if you can find the answer. You can’t, can you? That’s right bc Theta is a sweet child. Even after he killed a bunch of people in a murderdome he looked to North for approval okay leave the purple child alone. Do not fight Theta.

Omega: Oh yea man. Fight this guy. He’s dramatic and kinda scary but he’s actually a huge nerd. Punch him. Fight Omega.

The Tenth Floor pt2

Min Yoongi had gone through 34 secretaries in the past 24 months, and each one of them left in tears. This fact alone should have warned you against taking the job, but the pay was too good to pass up. Surely you could put up with a billionaires temper-tantrums, right?

Reader x Yoongi

Genre: Fluff, humor, probably some angst

Warnings: Strong language at times, maybe some slight smut eventually

Part 1


All you wanted was a decent paying job so you could pay off your school loans… And fix your car, pay your rent, pay your credit card bill, and maybe afford to eat. Was that really too much to ask? You thought it must be, because the only way you were going to get that was working for Min Yoongi, who had been yelling incoherently for the last hour.

You didn’t bother to knock on his office door at first, fairly sure that you didn’t want to know whatever it was that he was angry about. He was on the phone, you knew that much, but with who exactly was a mystery.

“So, how’s the first day going so far?” Seokjin sauntered over, taking a seat on your desk where you had been sorting through a stack of papers Yoongi had informed you were his schedule. “Sort it, fix it, memorize it,” Yoongi had said when he dumped the pile of papers in front of you earlier that day.

“Splendid.” You muttered, picking up a sticky note with almost unreadable handwriting on in. Apparently Yoongi had an appointment with someone on the twentieth of that month, but the name was impossible to make out.

“The first day is always the worst, keep your head up, kiddo.” He reached forward as though to flick your nose, but you swatted his hand away.

“I’m not a kid, and I’d appreciate it if you refrained from calling me one.” You knew it was important to at least try to stay on Seokjins good side, but the conversation from that morning still annoyed you to think about it.

“Good, a kid wouldn’t last two days in here, and I need you to last a month.” Seokjin looked satisfied, so you turned your attention back to the sticky-note. You were fairly sure it said the appointment was at three o’clock, but you were still deciphering the name.

“Does this have something to do with Jimins bet?” You asked, and Seokjin grinned.

“Smart, I like it.” He winked at you just as you heard glass shattering in Yoongi’s office. “If you last two weeks, I get ten thousand. If you last a month it’s doubled.” Seokjin informed you happily.

You tried to ignore the way he talked about $10,000 the same way you might talk about $20. To your relief, the phone on your desk buzzed before you had to respond to Seokjin, and Yoongi’s voice came through the intercom. “My office. Now.”

Soekjin actually looked concerned as you stood. “A huge business deal was just canceled, it’s going to cost the company millions. He’s not going to be easy to deal with.” He cautioned. “You might want to avoid him if at all possible.”

“Thanks for the warning, but I don’t think I have a choice.” In a way, you were glad for a way to escape. You didn’t really want to go in there—you didn’t have a death wish—but you couldn’t think of a nice way to tell Seokjin to go away.

“See you later.” Seokjin gave you a small salute as you made your way over to the office door. It had gone strangely quiet within, and when you heard no response you decided to walk in anyway.

“Sir?” You peaked around the door to see Yoongi sitting at his desk, tapping his fingers slowly. He didn’t acknowledge your presence, so you stepped further into the room, closing the door behind yourself. “Mr. Min?” You tried again, and his eyes snapped to yours so fast it made you jump, and his tapping fingers stilled.

“Don’t you knock?” He demanded, and you suddenly wished you were still sitting at your desk with Seokjin still bothering you again.

“I did knock.” You said, trying to keep your tone polite. Yoongi didn’t look convinced, leaning back in his chair.

“Are you talking back?” He raised an eyebrow. You wanted to point out that he was talking to you the way a parent might to an unruly teen, but you bit your tongue.

“No sir, just answering your question.” You fixed your expression into something you hoped was unreadable.

Yoongi rolled his eyes, resuming tapping his fingers on his desk as the stared at the ceiling. For a moment, you thought that in a different universe, where Min Yoongi wasn’t a complete asshole who fired people for humming, he might have been rather attractive. He carried himself with an ease and confidence that few possessed, and you would be lying if said he didn’t have a nice jaw line. You wondered what he would look like in street clothes—not that he looked bad in a suit, quite the opposite in fact. But you thought he would look good in jeans and a t-shirt; it would certainly make him look more approachable.

You shook yourself quickly, reminding yourself that he was your boss and that not only were such thoughts entirely inappropriate, but that you really needed to focus on not getting fired.

“What?” Yoongi demanded after a moment.

“Sorry?” You could feel your cheeks heating up—was it possible he knew what you were thinking? No, of course not. But the way he was looking at you was like he could see right through you to your soul, and you didn’t much care for it.

“What do you want?” Yoongi clarified, and you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you were holding.

Keep reading

Like look I know elves aren’t human but they generally LOOK pretty human. The most inhuman elves in media I’ve ever seen are like…the default high elves in skyrim and those still look pretty human adjacent

Why would you create an elf with green skin AND a big animalistic nose AND a black witch hat

For the record I’d never seen green elves before TAZ fan art either. And I don’t think “wizards” in high fantasy are ever portrayed like halloween style green big nosed witches, so WHERE ARE YOU ALL GETTING THIS FROM ANYWAY

When you add the fact that taako has sometimes used casual Yiddish, which imo makes him jewish coded in my eyes (while being definitely Mexican coded too, he both), and that he steals and gets eyes emoji at money…do you all ever think for like 2 seconds

Why would you draw him like some green rat baby witch creature when he’s a wizard elf

Stealing into the Void (Cop!Peter Maximoff x Reader)

Therapists & other doctors of the mind say shoplifting is a way to fill that empty hole inside. Something about the adrenaline involved with stealing said things & the momentary glimpse of completeness that comes with pilfering something is incredibly enticing to some people. Everyone has their own inner void, waiting to be filled, but kleptomaniacs are the ones who try to fill the emptiness by stealing things.

Maybe, at first, you were trying to fill the void when you began shoplifting, but now, it wasn’t just for momentary fun or psychological completeness: it was how you survived. Times were tough nowadays & when they became too much, you had no choice but to shoplift every now & then to get by. Sometimes it was just clothes, other times, it was high-end electronics. You stole whatever you could, but never more than you needed to. You had long stopped stealing for the Hell of it & insisted to yourself that this time, it was different because you were stealing to survive, but you couldn’t stop that nagging feeling inside that made you wonder if you got yourself into these situations on purpose, just so you could steal again.

“What the Hell were you thinking? To come in here & steal from me,” you rolled your eyes at the clerk, who had tied your hands so you wouldn’t try to escape while he waited for the police. You had tried to rob his store out of old habits. Your current situation was better than usual, having paid your rent & having a decent amount of food at home, but once you saw that lovely bottle of your favorite wine, your blood started pumping faster & your skin itched with desire & you couldn’t help yourself.

You had never been caught before & in all honesty, you were quite nervous about having to go to jail for this. Your perfect track record with the law would be tainted now, ruining the only good thing you had going for yourself.

As Officer Maximoff pulled into the parking lot of the convenience store, he couldn’t help but reminisce about his past with the force. Before he became a hot-shot cop for the FBI, he was required to train for the position by becoming a policeman for the city. He excelled so much so that he was promoted almost immediately & became an officer for the FBI. He worked closely with FBI agents to bring down some of the most wanted criminals, most of which were some of the most dangerous people known to man. He had an incredibly accomplished record under his belt, having arrested many notorious criminals & being extremely involved in his community. He was a police icon, & it brought him so much joy & validation, but it couldn’t fill the void he had inside him, the same void he used to try to fill with shoplifting.

He adjusted his hat & belt as he stepped out of his squad car, walking into the convenience store. He spotted you instantly & was taken aback by how incredibly beautiful you were & the dimness of your eyes. He knew that lack-luster look all too well & memories of his past came flooding back to him as the store owner blabbered on about the situation. In all honesty, Peter wasn’t really listening because he was focusing all his attention on you.

You tried not to make your staring obvious, but it was incredibly difficult. This gorgeous cop was here to stuff you in the back of his police car & take you to prison, but you didn’t mind at all. He looked oddly familiar to you, but you couldn’t place where you had seen him before.

“A bottle of wine?” Officer Maximoff raised an eyebrow, “I’m sorry, you want me to arrest her for stealing cheap alcohol?”

“Absolutely! She’s a thief!” He looked over at you, your head held down as you uncomfortably stared at your tied hands in your lap, wondering if you’d ever even stolen anything before tonight. Even if you had, he knew that you were no true “threat to society”, but he didn’t want to see the pissed off store owner become even more enraged if he told him you weren’t going to be arrested.

“Right…well, I guess it’s off to the slammer now, but please untie her, that was entirely unnecessary,” the store owner grinned, clearly pleased with the news that you were going to jail & untied you. Your heart raced in your chest as you looked up at the officer with fear in your eyes. His face immediately softened at your frightened look & mouthed “don’t worry” as gently grabbed your shoulder, leading you to his car. He put you in the backseat so the store owner wouldn’t be suspicious & got into his car before driving out of the parking lot.

The car ride was silent for a while before Officer Maximoff spoke up, “Where do you live?”

You looked into the rearview mirror & at him, “What?”

He met your gaze in the mirror, “Where’s your home? I’m giving you a lift.”

You held in a breath, biting your lip, which inadvertently made him blush, “You’re not taking me to jail?”

He laughed softly & his laugh was beautiful, chiming like bells, “For stealing a $10 bottle of wine? No way,” he grinned cheekily, “Besides, you’re too pretty to be in prison.”

You smirked, “Well, you’re too pretty to work in one,” that shut him up real quick & caused his cheeks to turn aflame.

“Right, so, um, your address?” he asked shyly, his faux dominant demeanour slowly crumbling underneath your stare.

You gave him your address & sat back in your seat, relaxing at the prospect of not having to do any time.

It was quiet for a while once more, but again, Peter broke it, “Do you always steal shitty wine from convenience stores?”

You snorted, “Nah, old habits just die hard.”

“Old habits?”

“Yeah, I used to shoplift a lot when I was younger & up until a few months ago, I was shoplifting to survive,” Peter nearly halted the car at your admission, not because you just confessed to being a multiple offender, but because of the similarity of your past with his own.

“Why did you start?”

You shrugged, “I don’t really know. One of my relatives is a Psychologist & they said I was probably a klepto & I was filling some inner void within,” his soft brown eyes looked at you through the mirror, but you were looking out the window.

“Do you believe that?”

You shrugged, “All I know is that when I steal, it takes my mind off things & I don’t have to worry about not having anything to eat or rent money.”

Peter had grown up in a good household in which his single mother worked her ass off to provide for him & his younger sister, so he never needed to steal to survive; however, he was a diagnosed kleptomaniac & stole a lot as a teenager & young adult. He stole everything from Twinkies to old arcade games & had never been caught, until the day he stole his 25th TV. He had been careless, too cocky, & left behind his house key, which was how the cops found him. Instead of being immediately cuffed & sent to prison, he was propositioned by the police with an ultimatum: be sent to prison for a long time for all the things he stole, or become a cop himself. With his super speed, they knew he would be of great help to the force. If he was fast enough & good enough to break out Magneto from a highly secured cell in the Pentagon, then he was going to make an excellent cop. And they were right.

Although he couldn’t completely relate to your past, he could absolutely relate to your kleptomania & more importantly, filling his inner void. Growing up without his father had a major psychological effect on him. The rejection he felt over the issue created a gaping hole inside him that he filled by stealing. He got into a trouble a lot, disappointing his mother & only further driving his need to be validated & accepted somewhere. It wasn’t until he became a police officer did he truly feel validated & accomplished & the void within him was beginning to fill. His mother was so proud of him & that made him proud of himself, too.

Even with all the glory & reward his jon brought him, he still felt a void inside his chest, a void that he knew could only be filled romantically. He had never been in a serious relationship before. Sure, he had a few flings here & there, but he had never actually dated someone before. He was getting older, nearly thirty now, & he desperately wanted to come home to a lovely wife & a few kids instead of the lonely, quiet home he comes to now.

He pulled upto your apartment complex, parking in the lot before turning off the car, “It’s late, I’ll walk you to your apartment to make sure you get there safely,” you didn’t bother arguing with the cute cop, so you nodded & got out once he opened your door for you.

He walked you upto your apartment, both of you staying silent along the way. When you reached your door, you turned to him & smiled, “Well, this is me. Thanks for not arresting me & taking me home.”

His cheeks flushed brightly at your kindness, which he tried to hide behind his dimples & smile, “Of course, just make sure I don’t catch you stealing again, or else I’ll have to take you in.”

You saluted him, “You got it, Sir,” he laughed cutely at the gesture & you grinned at him.

“Good night,” he said, turning to leave. Once your eyes caught wind of his perky backside, you knew you couldn’t let him get away.

“Wait!” he turned in surprise when you called him, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. You smiled at him, “Can I get your number? I’d love to take you out for some coffee or something, as a proper thank you.”

His eyebrows nearly shot off his face at your request & his cheeks flushed darkly once more. He stared at you incredulously. Was this gorgeous creature really asking him out? On a date?

“My, uh yeah sure let me just, uh give you my card…” he sheepishly dug into his pocket & produced a card with his credentials & number displayed on it.

You looked over & grinned, “Awesome! I’ll give you a call sometime,” you leaned up on your toes to press a soft kiss to his cheek, grinning cheekily when you pulled away, “See you around, Officer Maximoff,” & with that you opened your door & stepped inside, leaving a very flustered & very cute cop on your doorstep.

Peter’s knees felt weak from your kiss & his pants tightened when you called him by his official title & he knew he would have to take care of that all night. He lingered at your door for a few more minutes before his legs finally moved & got back to his car.

You stared at his card, racking your brain as to why he was so familiar. It wasn’t until you recalled the similar card in your wallet that you finally remembered:

You had nearly slept with him once before.

This is long overdue @v-writings

Shopping - James van Riemsdyk

Originally posted by nugent-hopkinks

Notes: I didn’t get a prompt for this one, and I don’t actually know if James dresses nice or if he dresses like Mitch Marner but for this occasion, he dresses horrible. I hope you enjoy!

Mentions: Tyler Bozak

Warnings: None!

Requested: Yes | No

Up Next: Ben Hutton

Teaser: “What do you mean I don’t dress nice? I bought half my suits with Marns!” “James, that’s why you don’t dress nice.”

Keep reading

  • Willow: Stop a second. There are gonna be some changes made. Okay?
  • Willow: Alright. First of all, you are gonna do all of Candela's work.
  • Blanche: I hate Candela's work. I-
  • Willow: Stop. Candela, you got a lot of balls stealing my money.
  • Willow: This shows leadership. I am promoting you to management.
  • Candela: That's why I did it.
  • Spark: That's fantastic!
  • Spark: That's why I did it, too, Dad! I stole lots of your money! What do I get?
  • Willow: You get dick. Because you are a follower and a thief.
Thoughts Going Through My Head During Crooked Kingdom

PART ONE: FORSAKEN

1. Wylan you are a part of the crew, get your shit together!
2. Yo I forgot Wylan looked like Kuwei
3. Wylan coming to Jesper’s defense <3
4. WYLAN THINKING ABOUT JESPER YASSSS WESPER ALL THE WAY
5. KAZ! FINALLY!
6. Damn what is he gonna do to that girl? Oh at least he didn’t kill her.
7. MATTHIAS!
8. Jesper and Nina flirting their way through town would be something I would pay for
9. They get it: WHY WONT HE JUST ADMIT HE WANTS HER BACK??!?!
10. Oh no Jesper’s dad! They’re gonna use him to hurt Jesper aren’t they?
11. INEJ! OH MY GOSH GUYS IM NOT READY!!! (I had to breathe before this chapter)
12. “She was Inej Ghafa and she would not quiver like a rabbit in a snare” YASS DAMN RIGHT GURL
13. “I may not have Kaz’s devious mind, but I am a dangerous girl.” QUEEN
14. NOT HER LEGS NOT HER LEGS NO NO NO NO NO NO
15. That chapter was so intense…KAZ IS COMING INEJ DONT LOSE HOPE. VAN ECK

PART TWO: A KILLING WIND

16. Jesper introducing wylan to his dad :D
17. OMG THIS FIGHT SCENE! “Do you want to shake hands again?” LOOL
18. Wylan coming to save the day
19. WESPER FLIRTING
20. Nina and Matthias so cute. <3
21. Awwww everyone is protecting Jesper
22. I’m like super worried about Nina rn…
23. HOW DID SHE DO THAT?
24. “Most of your friends wont survive this night” STAHP
25. Did she really doubt KAZ FUCKING BREKKER?
26. Lol at Jesper being so surprised every time wylan says something dark
27. I LOVE IT WHEN KAZ ASKS A QUESTION AND THEN EVERYONE GIVES HILARIOUS ANSWERS
28. Their bantering is BACK and I love it
29. Jesper asking about wylan to alys lol
30. Awww Matthias is actually such a cinnamon roll
31. Yo I can’t stand Nina and Matthias fighting.
32. Shit its all going to hell isn’t it?
33. KAZ’S POV FINALLY - I need to know his thoughts as he’s saving Inej
34. KAZNEJ TEAMWORK MAKES ME SO HAPPY
35. Jesper Fahey - killing me softly with every cute thing he says to Wylan/every time he calls him “merchling”
36. Nina is such a badass I love her

PART THREE: BRICK BY BRICK

37. THE TENSION BETWEEN KAZNEJ IS KILLING ME
38. SQUAD IS BACK TOGETHER I LOVE IT
39. The Wyvil lol
40. OMG HES FLIRTING WITH WYLAN AND WYLANS BLUSHING AND IM DEAD
41. “Do not lick Wyvil. Does someone want to write that down?”
42. Inej and Jesper noticing wylan having a scheming face. I love their friendship
43. OMG INEJ BESTED KAZ FUCKING BREKKER AND HE LOVED IT
44. OMG BE STILL MY HEART: “ I would come for you. And even if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together-knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that’s what we do. We never stop fighting”
45. Nina and inej together again! Also WAFFLES
46. Nina and Matthias together <3
47. OMG OMG OMG ZOYA YAAASSSSS I LOVE HER MAN SHES THE BEST
48. Why am I not surprised that Wylan’s dad tried to have him killed? He’s an asshole.
49. OHMYGODHISMOTHERISALIVE??
50. “Lets go steal all my dad’s money” YAASSS WYLAN YOU DESERVE THIS
51. GENYAS HERE TOO
52. OMG MATTHIAS AND NINA ARE SO FREAKING CUTE! AND HE IS SAYING BEAUTIFUL THINGS TO HER! MAKE OUT! NOW! DO IT!
53. “I think you’d flirt with a date palm if it would pay you any attention” NEW SHIP: NINA AND THE DATE PALM
54. *SQUEALS FOREVER* FINALLY!!!! BENN WAITING FOR THAT KISS FOREVER (imagine what would happen if there was a Wesper kiss or a Kaznej one OMG)
55. Lol Zoya is SO annoyed rn. Genya gets it tho.
56. TAMAR!
57. THEY ARE HAVING A COMPETITION ON THE PRICE ON EACH ONE OF THEIR HEADS.
58. “There are many kinds of sickness” OMG IS JESPERS GAMBLING BECAUSE HE WAS SUPPRESSING HIS GRISHA POWERS?!??!
59. Jespers figuring it out.

PART FOUR: THE UNEXPECTED VISITOR

60. “I’m going to eat twice as much cake” I love Nina
61. “Philosopher crook” I love that
62. “Strontium chloride, my favorite” I think we all know why ;)
63. Who is this bitch messing with Inej?!?!?!
64. OMG Nina can raise the DEAD! I love it! IS THIS WHY THE CARD HAS HER HOLDING A SKULL TOO?!??!
65. THAT LOOK BETWEEN KAZ AND INEJ
66. WYLAN!!!! EVERYONES OKAY!
67. LOL ON INEJ AND NINA CALLING EACH OTHER OUT
68. “Lets not say things we don’t mean” HE KNOWS THAT SHE WOULDNT PICK HIM OVER WAFFLES
69. Oh Shit EVERYONES after them
70. STOP FIGHTING YOU TWO
71. OMG! TWO OF THE MOST BADASS PEOPLE EVER AND THEY ACT LIKE SCOLDED KIDS WHEN JESPERS FARMER DAD YELLS AT THEM
72. LLEWELLYN

PART FIVE: KINGS AND QUEENS

73. OMG I WAS RIGHT ABOUT HIS SICKNESS
74. OHMYFUCKINGGODWHYYYY???? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT LEIGH????? THATS NOT FUNNY!!!! I WAS ABOUT TO SCREAM CUZ WESPER BUT NO!!!!!
75. AWWWWWW YIIIISSS MAKING PLANS!
76. HE BOUGHT HER OUT OF HER CONTRACT! IM GOING TO CRY
77. THIS SCENE IS SO INTENSE
78. “IF YOU EVER CARED ABOUT ME AT ALL” YO KAZ STAHP SHE LOVES YOU. I’M SO UPSET NOW.
79. OMG YAAAAASSSSS DONT MESS WITH KAZ FUCKING BREKKER BITCHES! KING OF THEIVES, LEADER OF THE DREGS
80. Wesper getting back together :)
81. Aye it’s Genya and Zoya.
82. FOX FACED MAN??!??!?!?!?!? STURMHUND STURMHUND ITS NIKOLAI FUCKING LANTSOV THIS IS NOT A DRILL YAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS
83. “A pirate?” PRIVATEER GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT JESPER
84. WYLANS FACE IS BACK
85. WESPER KISS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH MY BABIES MY LITTLE CINNAMON ROLLS <3 <3
86. “Only a fool would.” I SEE YOU THROWING SHADE NINA
87. Kaz knows about Nikolai and I love it
88. “Let’s go show them they picked the wrong damn fight.” YAAASSSS
89. What are they up to?
90. Is them bursting in the distraction?

PART SIX: ACTION AND ECHO

91. Van Eck is going down!
92. Nina is QUEEN OF MOURNING I LOVE IT
93. Inej finally beat that bitch! Good cuz she was coming after my baby Inej and my baby Nikolai.
94. Jesper can control bullets. THATS SO COOL
95. PEKKA FUCKING ROLLINS BROUGHT TO HIS FUCKING KNEES I LOVE IT
96. INEJ DID YOU REALLY DOUBT KAZ?
97. OHMYGODWASMATTHIASSHOT
98. LIGHTNING YES SCIENCE MOTHERFUCKERS

99. MATTHIAS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOD NO THIS BETTER NOT BE REAL. NOPE I DONT BELIEVE IT NOT LIKE THIS. NO I CANT DAMMIT I FUCKING KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN TO HIM TOO

100. Kaz forgiving Jesper is so awesome
101. LOL DONT MESS WITH WYLANS BAE KUWEI
102. Kaz got her a ship and named it The Wraith how perfect
103. HE BROUGHT BACK HER FAMILY
104. ITS OVER? IM DEAD

THIS BOOK WAS GREAT. :)

4

Newcrest, December 2016

Stina: Mae, I think you’re crazy giving up on opening up your own salon! Everyone knows the only reason Daisy has clients at her salon is because of YOU!She can’t do hair for sh*t. She knows nothing. You even manage the books.

Mae sighs: I know, but it’s not that easy, Stina. First off, it’s going to look so shady of me to steal all of Daisy’s customers when she basically gave me my start. Second, how am I going to open up my own salon?  With what money? I can’t do hair out of my apartment no more, that was driving me nuts. It was crazy of me to think I could manage it.

Stina: Um, hello? Your Uncle? Your Dad? They can give you the money to start. Hell, why not ask Nico, he’s rolling in money! You’re so prideful, Mae.

Mae: I hate asking anyone for anything, Stina. I don’t like to answer to nobody. And especially not my older brother. If I were to ask Nico for money to start a business, I’d have to tell him my whole life story. I don’t want him in my face like that.

Stina: Girl, speaking of brothers, isn’t that Remy over there? Talking to Sal?

Mae smiles: Aww, yes. My baby. Rem never comes around this block, he stays at Uncle Otto’s all the time when he’s here in Newcrest. I wonder what’s up.

anonymous asked:

RFA with a delinquent MC? Can I request that?

(ο´ω`ο)ゝ I don’t see an issue with it! Since MC seems to be an adult, I’m going to make her an adult one? Like 20 or 21? Does that still work for you? If not, message me again and I’ll make another one where’s she like some young punk delinquent! I just won’t have her romantically involved with them tho.


Yoosung

-He never really expected you to be one to steal, especially since you were helping out the RFA and what they stood for

-So when he saw you pull out something from your purse at the store the two of you were just browsing in, in the car, he nearly yelled out at you.

-”D-did you just steal that??”

-You shrugged. “Yeah. It’s over-priced anyway.”

-He just gaped at you for a moment, before just keeping quiet until the two of you got back to his place.

-Now he was just questioning everything you owned. Was it all stolen? Did you just steal from people or from stores?

-”Mc, why would you steal? What if you get caught one day?”

-”I’ve never been caught-”

-”That’s…Not my point.”

-He just didn’t know how to talk about this. You kept acting so casual about it. It certainly turned him off from you, though.

-”Mc….I’m okay with you cussing and drinking, and maybe even smoking, but…Please don’t steal. From anyone. That’s something I can’t really stand.”

-He’d probably stop viewing you as a romantic interest, and just switch his feelings for you into feelings for friendship. I don’t think he’d like a delinquent mc much…

Jaehee

-Her big time realizing it was when she was assigned to help get you ready for the RFA party. 

-You looked like you had never worn a dress that was ‘girly’ in your whole life, and the glare you gave the piece of clothing helped proved her assumption.

-”Jaehee- No. No no. I am not going to wear that.”

-It took so many outfits until they found a simple black dress you agreed to wear, and even though she didn’t know much about make-up, the stuff you arrived in was not suitable as well.

-From that point on, she understood a bit more about your attitude from the chat around Zen and the others. 

-When the two of you went on little coffee dates (were they dates? Friendly dates? God, she didn’t know.) you always snapped at people staring at the two of you.

-You were…Very hot headed, to say the least.

-One night the two of you were walking in town- You were walking her back to her place- when a couple of rough looking guys blocked the way.

-Jaehee was a bit intimidated, but she had ages of Judo lessons behind her.

-She was not prepared when you started chatting them up, however.

-After an awkward few minutes of her nearly squirming and you and the guys talking about some…colorful subjects… You finally waved goodbye and continued your conversation with her.

-”Mc, you know them??”

-”Yeah, they’re pretty okay. You just gotta watch out for the buzz cut one. He has too much fun with the gang’s stash.”

-Stash??? oh lord. You kept proving her first assumptions wrong each day.

-She’d lowkey be constantly worried over you.

Zen

-He found out when he called you and mentioned his bike, and the two of you had a long conversation about it.

-He brought up his old highschool gang and when you did too, he panicked.

-”You still keep in touch with them? But they’ve changed, right?”

-”Kinda. The leader stepped down but everyone still respects him. The new guy is kinda annoying but. Whatever.”

-Oh god. What??

-”Mc….Isn’t that dangerous?? You still do these things??”

-You just rolled your eyes. This coming from the used-to-be wild card? Jeez.

-He didn’t know what to think. Every now and then he’d push the idea of you not really talking to your old gang anymore, especially since they were still punks, but you always shot it down saying they were family.

-Would explain how you could hold your liquor well though….

-As long as you didn’t steal or hurt anyone, or do any hard drugs, he’d be slightly okay with it. Just be nervous when you brought it up.

Jumin

-He never thought much about it. You did dress a bit like a punk, but he pushed the thought away. He never really understood women’s fashion anyway.

-He didn’t realize or ask about it until one day you mentioned you dropped out of high school.

-”What? Do you want to keep going? I can send you to a better school than what you were going to-”

-”Noooo, no no no. I am not going back to school, especially high school. Jeez, Jumin.”

-You went on to lament on how stupid and boring it was anyway. The only good thing was your gang.

-”I’m sorry, your what?”

-Immediate disapproval. Just hands down. “Don’t keep talking to them, they’re just a bad influence.”

-”What, are you my dad now?”

-(He was last night)

-The convo would probably turn into an argument pretty quickly. He’d have to spend a while thinking of if he really wanted to date you or not…

Seven

-”Can you steal Elly for me?”

-”….no.”

-He found out and was just. Littering you with ridiculous questions. Weirdest thing you stole? Why? Stupidest thing your gang did? Weird things?

-He’d think it was funny until he found out you were still doing these things.

-And that the weirdest thing you stole was…last week??

-”Hey, come on mc, stealing isn’t cool.”

-”It is when it’s all overpriced bullshit. I’m pretty sure I’ve taken a few things from C&R branch stores.”

-Oh my god. Okay, never tell Jumin about this..

-”Yeah, but like…You’ve already stolen my heart. Isn’t that enough?”

-”…….No.”

-Regardless, he’d slowly try to ease you away from harmful bad habits. Give you spending money, never let you near one of his damn cars, hack into gang member’s phones to make sure they don’t hang out with you too much…. The small things!

-Constantly, constantly, worried.



Here’s some nice punk hcs if you’re interested!

anonymous asked:

Not to be rude... but what do you get out of lifting? As an employee for a local store, the stuff you guys steal comes out of my paychecks. Why wouldn't you just do the normal thing and buy it like other people? Again, just curious. Sorry if I offended you or anything, I just don't understand.

hey bby! well, first of all i’m pretty sure it’s illegal to take the loss from lïfting out of employee wages - unless ur working at a independently-owned business, ur store should have insurance for stolen items that would pay the cost without harming u. if ur employer is deducting ur wages n telling u that’s the cause, they’re lying n stealing ur money, so u should do something about that. if u work at an independently-owned business, there’s a pretty big rule in the lïfter community not to steàl from those bc they can’t support the loss, so i have a lot of sympathy for u. however, i don’t touch those businesses so i can’t take the blame.
To answer ur other q’s:
i get nice things out of lïfting, often necessary things. it’s as simple as that. i want things, but i haven’t the money to buy them, so i take them. i’ve been lïfting for a few years, but i did take a break in between. during that break i couldn’t rly afford food, so my ribs were visible through my skin, my hip bones stuck out, and i got bruises all over. i’m pretty anaemic so i passed out a lot. i also did badly in my classes bc i couldn’t afford proper art equipment, and wore underwear so old it developed holes and slid off my body. now, i’m at a healthy weight, i dress beautifully, and i even have all the materials ready for a nice looking room after summer. ppl ask “why can’t u just buy things” as though money grows on trees, but even when i worked three jobs at one time, i was starving to death. now i’m actually able to save money and plan for the future. lîfting saved my life, and it’s still doing so. that’s why i lïft☺️✨✨

Vigilante (Barry Allen X Reader)

Fandom: The Flash
Pairing: Barry Allen X Vigilante!Reader
Word Count: 3,693
Author’s Note: This kinda sucks but not even kidding I spent all day on this and I’m pretty proud of it so?? I’m posting it!! I should probably edit it more but I’m too tired )):

“You know, Flash, we have got to stop meeting like this.” 

The leather-clad man sighed. “We wouldn’t keep meeting like this if you’d just stop robbing banks.”

You sighed and rolled your eyes. “And why would I do that?”

“Because it’s illegal? Or maybe because deep down you’re not a terrible person?” 

You chuckled bitterly. “You don’t know anything about me, Speedy. How do you know I’m not a terrible person?”

“You haven’t killed anyone. Obviously you’re not a saint, but you’ve yet to seriously injure a single person in your robberies.”

You shrugged. “Whatever you say, Scarlet. Can we skip to the part where you try to catch me and fail, and I escape with the money?”

The Flash zoomed over to you without responding, pinning your hands behind your back and pushing you against the wall. “You’re not getting away that easily this time.” 

You snorted. “Kinky. Should’ve known you would be thanks to that full body leather suit.”

Keep reading

DuckTales (’87-’90) Sentence Starters

(With a couple bonus “Treasure of the Lost Lamp” lines thrown in)

  • “I didn’t get rich by being stupid.”
  • “If it’s got wings, I can crash it!”
  • “AAH! That vase is worth a quarter-million dollars!”
  • “A SEA MONSTER ATE MY ICE CREAM!!!!”
  • “C’mon, even E.T. got to phone home.”
  • “ [Name], you’re okay! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!”
  • “Money talks, I listen. Speak!”
  • “NASA’s gonna send the monkey into space instead of me!”
  • “One more precious family moment, and I may upchuck.” 
  • “Troubles! Thieves! Politicians!”
  • “Now I know what a TV dinner feels like!”
  • “ I can’t break their little hearts, [name]- you do it!”
  • “[Name], did you join a heavy metal band?”
  • “ Hey, why would a ghost need to use a door?”
  • “ As soon as I’m done polishing my tea pot, we can have a tea party with all my dollies!”
  • “Missed me? What’d you throw at me?”
  • “How dare you steal what my boys rightfully stole first!” 
  • “If you ask me, real heroes don’t need cameras and make-up; real heroes just do their job!”
  • “I told you, I’m not going to the ball!”
  • “Has anyone ever told you you’re a deceitful, lying vulture?” 
  • “I don’t like it either, [name]. But just this once, we have to work together.”
  • “Stop! Or I’ll be forced to use force!”
  • “Ah, the sissies never saw a shopping mall collapse before. But don’t worry; I’m OK!”
  • “Back! Back, you foul egg!”
  • “Right now, I’d be happy if it was Tuesday and this was Belgium!”
  • “Ah, mirth and be merry! My worries are over…”
  • “And therefore, in the words of the immortal Shakespeare, ‘hit the road, Jack!’”
  • “Wakey-wakey. Hello, little boy. I’m the Tooth Fairy, and have I got a deal for you.”
  • “Feeding the prisoners to the sharks isn’t any fun.” 
  • “Don’t worry; when the going gets tough, the harder they fall.”
  • “But I’m too young to die! And too nice! And much, much too nervous!”
  • “A plan worthy of a master criminal- all you’re missing is a little diabolical laughter.”
  • “Efficiency has its place but NOT in my hot chocolate.” 
  • “[Name], how did you ever manage to survive childhood?”
  • “Either the water’s getting higher, or the roof is getting lower!”
"Things My Roommates Have Said" Starters
  • "That's racist, now put on the sombrero."
  • "He's an old guy with money, he's the perfect victim."
  • "Why did you replace all the pizza with booze?"
  • "Is that your naked blanket or your sleeping blanket?"
  • "I promise I'll tell you if I ever consider stealing your husband for his money."
  • "I'm in my twenties and yet I'm calling some anime high schoolers senpai, can I really be trusted to make decisions?"
  • "Hey you opened my booze! Thanks Mom!"
  • "No one wants to rob a house with dicks hanging on the walls."
  • "Let the weight of those blankets push the sadness out of your body."
  • "If you can't suck ten dicks at once then how do you expect to get away with murder?"
  • "I love my new background, just look at all the tentacles and anime tiddies!"
  • "You know what makes people do anything? Shame."
  • "This kid is gonna be so confused because she now has five moms and she calls two of them dad."
  • "Most of my ideas might be illegal, but they usually work."
  • "My mom said we're not allowed to sell drugs again."
  • "The only sex rule in the apartment is to not have sex in the kitchen, I cook there."
  • "This is family time, that means we look at dicks together."
  • "I told you that playing drunk uno would destroy friendships, I warned you and you didn't listen to me, and now you suffer."
  • "Why are all my shoes in the fridge?"

So this is just some rambling about a thing I saw a few days ago and that’s still bothering me.

Why, as a fandom, are we so quick to defend our faves against any evidence that they may have been a less than perfect person? Why do we, who know the music and the lyrics and the histories of the bands backwards and forwards, get angry when someone suggests that our “precious cinnamon roll” fave, who we make flower crown edits of and call by cute nicknames, was… well… indulging in the excess that is “the rock and roll lifestyle”? 

It’s not like rock stars snorting coke and having sex with groupies is unheard of; it’s harder for me to think of one who didn’t! What makes you think that it’s shocking when it comes out that your fave, whose struggles with substance abuse are well-documented, who wrote songs about affairs he had with women on the road, is not the wide-eyed sweetheart that fandom sees him as? And why are you so quick to dismiss a story that lines up with everything we know about him?

Listen, I know we’re very passionate about our faves around here. I’m no exception. And all of my faves are extremely flawed individuals, sometimes even horrible people. Between all of them, they’ve done everything from stealing money from their bandmates to stomping on their brother’s birthday cake. Do I wish that they had made better choices? Of course. But I don’t think we should deny that our faves were capable of hurting people. I just think we need some perspective. On Tumblr there’s definitely a culture of ideological purity, where everyone is either “pure” or “problematic”, and associating with “problematic” people or things is looked down on. The thing is, no one alive is 100% pure. No one goes through life without making a mistake, or hurting someone else through a selfish action. And it’s not realistic to expect someone not to act selfishly when they are at the center of a culture that encourages that behavior.

tl;dr: It’s okay to like people who did “problematic” things. We’re here for the music first and foremost.

To the man that stole my bag...

Hi there. My name is Michelle Valdivia. I was the girl wearing the grey shirt and the tan and black sun hat today at Lake Merritt. You stole my backpack. You just came right up from behind me, snatched it and ran off. You even had a getaway car waiting, which seems really cool in movies but is not very cool in real life. I have several things to say you, sir, but not all of them are very nice, so I am going to keep this civil.

For one, I do not like you very much. I was trying to spend a quiet Saturday afternoon reading at the lake today. I have been going to a lot of trainings recently for my new job, and I am very tired. I just got hired as an after school program teacher at an elementary school in San Francisco. My first day is this Monday. I will be teaching 4th grade. I’m very nervous, mostly because I am inexperienced and I want the kids to have as fulfilling and educational experience as possible. You don’t need to know all this, but I want you to, because I want you to know a little more about the woman that you stole from, and how your actions have consequences, perhaps consequences greater than you can see.

Today you stole my backpack with some things in it. To be more specific you stole:

  1. A small tan faux leather backpack that I bought while studying abroad in Barcelona. I worked really hard to be able to study abroad, and that backpack was the one thing I let myself splurge on while in Spain.
  2. A small black wallet with my debit card, driver’s license, zipcard, Clipper card, and other miscellaneous junk. (I hope you enjoy the $100 worth of gas you bought with my card, and the $10 I have left on my clipper card.)
  3. A brand new Van Gogh ‘Sunflowers’ journal that I got as a birthday present. I was really excited to start journaling again, and I love love LOVE Van Gogh. I would just give it someone, maybe your niece or daughter. Maybe she loves art. I hope she likes it.
  4. An old thin Van Gogh journal. I wrote a lot of random stuff in the little one, but I also had some short poems I wrote in church once. I loved those poems. They were a part of me. And now you have them.
  5. A chapstick and lip stain. Dang you got my favorite ones too, my Revlon one and the brand new sunscreen chapstick I bought. You don’t even need them. Jeez.
  6. Trash. I’m a lady, and a lady always has trash in her purse.
  7. A green water bottle with the words “Today is a great day to learn something new!” written on the side, as well as a sticker with a butterfly on it that says “Migration is natural”. The sticker my friend got for me at a woman’s empowerment conference we went to (so much for being empowered, when you took my bag I didn’t even chase after you. You scared me, what can I say?). The water bottle I got just last week, at a teacher training I went to. You should give it to one of your nieces/nephews. Give to them a love of learning.
  8. Sea shells. At least, there should still be sea shells in that little front pocket. The sea shell story you’ll have to ask me about another time.
  9. Maybe some gum? I think I had gum. You got my gum.

Here is a list of things you did not steal from me today:

  1. My phone. I really depend on my phone a lot more than I thought I did.
  2. The book I was reading, “Borderlands/La Frontera,” by Gloria Azaldua. Good thing too, it was a library book. If you are Mexican-American, I would DEFINITELY read it. I think you could learn a lot from her, I know I have. If you are Mexican-American, ay mijo, le voy a decir a tu mama lo que hiciste.
  3. The fruit I had just bought at the farmer’s market. I bought pomegranates, my favorite fruit. Good thing you didn’t snatch those.
  4. My love of Lake Merritt. Sure, this one bad thing happened to me, but I still love the lake. I’m just going to be a lot more careful next time about where I leave my things.
  5. My trust in strangers. Right when you ran off, this girl ran up to me and asked me if you had stolen my purse. I was so out of it I didn’t know what to do, so she ran off to her friends to try to get your license plate number. She was so sweet, she asked if she could give me money so I could get home okay. She just stayed with me for a good five minutes while I cried and cried. This other older guy also came over and asked me if I was okay (I was crying my eyes out at this point, but I managed to get some words out). They showed me a kindness that is rare, and it is because of people like them that I will continue to trust strangers, even when strangers like you hurt me.
  6. My sense of humor. I’m fucking hilarious, I don’t care what anyone says. Someday, I’m going to write a killer joke about this incident and perform it a comedy club and it is going to get a standing ovation, or just a hell of a lot of laughs.
  7. My willingness to forgive. Believe it or not homie, one of these days (maybe when my debit card arrives and the pain of losing my favorite bag dissipates) I’m going to forgive you. Not because you have asked for my forgiveness, but because I want to be a woman that does not hold grudges. I want to be a woman of kindness, of love and compassion, and that means forgiving those who have hurt you.
  8. My idea of Oakland as a complex place. Yeah, Lake Merritt is a nice area, but its also very representative of the city as a whole. People of all ages, races, and socio-economic status converge there. Its a busy place, it makes sense that there would be crime every once in a while. I guess I hit the lottery this time.
  9. My love of learning, and my passion to serve communities in need. I bet you didn’t know that about me when you scouted me out to steal my bag. Yep. I majored in social welfare at UC Berkeley because I knew that there are things going on in the world, things like poverty, racism, and violence, and I wanted to be a person that works against those things. I’m still going to work against those things. You can’t take that away from me.
  10. And finally, my ability to see a lesson in everything. I think there are some real solid reasons behind why you stole my bag today. I might never know those reasons, since I might never know you. But I do know that you had them. Maybe you felt pressured to do it by your “cool” friends that think stealing is a quick, easy way to get money. Do you know how people feel, especially women, when you come up behind them, grab something of theirs, and run off? It feels fucking terrifying. I really thought you were going to attack my physical body. I’m 5'3’’ homie, and I do not know how to defend myself at all. I didn’t care so much about my things. I felt scared because I didn’t know you nor what you were going to do, and in that moment, I really thought I was going to be physically assaulted by a strange man. (maybe the lesson is to get self-defense classes?) Maybe you just did it because you like to steal. I hear people get a rush out of it. Do you know what kind of rush I got today? I felt a rush of depression seeping into my skin, pulsing through my bloodstream, burning like acid. I have a history of getting stressed out about everything, and depression sometimes follows. I have worked really hard to be happy. I still do. Maybe, the lesson to learn from this is that happiness is fleeting and I should give in to the coming tide of sadness? Its probably not though. Maybe the lesson to take from this is that sometimes bad things happen, and you can’t let your whole world fall apart over those small things. This was a small thing. You stole some stuff, but you didn’t steal everything. I have my health, my super cool job, my loving family and my amazing friends (shout-out to Elizabeth Banda for taking care of me and feeding me tacos today. Thanks boo.) I have a resilient spirit, and I will not let you steal my joy.

So, guy, enjoy doing whatever it is thieves do with stolen purses. It was such a cute bag, and its a shame its gone, but this gives me an excuse to go shopping now. Retail therapy (the only kind of therapy I need… probably not, but my health insurance doesn’t cover much). Take care and you know, don’t steal. That would be nice. In the words of my homie Ice Cube, bye Felicia!

Intro to IDOLiSH7

Do you like HANDSOME 2D BOYS? Do you have an OTOME HEART and want HANDSOME 2D BOYS to (lowkey) FLIRT WITH YOU? Do you also have a FUJOSHI/FUDANSHI HEART and want those HANDSOME 2D BOYS to FLIRT… WITH EACH OTHER? Then, boy, do I have a game for you.

You think I am kidding, but let me assure you: I͍͍̰͔͓͠ ͢A̦̞̝̦̓̍̈̅̿̈́͒Mͧ͌͗ ̨̝͚̘̜͔͍̙̓N̼̻̱̿̎̋Õ͖̘ͮ͡Ṫ̗͓̤̰͚̬͛̀̚.

Let me introduce to you IDOLiSH7, an idol rhythm mobile game that is sure to steal your heart, time, and probably your money. But we’re all masochists here, right?

But I digress. This is actually a serious post about IDOLiSH7 (aka I7 or “Ainana”) and why you should give it a shot. If you’ve never heard of I7 or don’t really know what it’s about, then I hope this essay post can help you out.

(Or you could check out my awesome PowerPoint presentation….)

Keep reading

17 as cafe workers

Woozi: The cutest waiter that everyone wants and asks for by name. Secretly lazy af though and avoids customers like the plague. Gets excellent tips for practically doing nothing


Seungcheol: Headhoncho; the boss. Likes to help out in the kitchen but breaks every plate and flirts with Jeonghan nonstop. He’s not allowed back there anymore


Jisoo: Bubbly barista who gets too absorbed in talking about anime and burns the coffee.


Dino: Doesn’t really work there but he hangs around so much that he might as well. Likes to annoy all the workers and gets 50% off of everything.


Mingyu: In charge of getting things off of the top shelf but also drops all the ingredients.total butterfingers


Seungkwan: Constantly singing show tunes while doing the dishes. 


Jun: In charge of decorating all the pastires and cakes but he gets more frosting on himself than aything else. Half of the time he’s just eating them


Minghao: The one worker that always hurts himself. 


Dokyum: Cashier that flirts with all the school girls that come through. Annoying as hell but he rakes in more customers. Also threated the most, wONdEr wHY?


Hoshi: The only one who actually likes being a waiter. When its someone’s birthday he comes out with a cake and sings happy birthday at full blast while Seungkwan and Dokyum do harmonies. 


Vernon: Hates working but he needs money, yo. Likes to hide in the laundry pile and take “power naps”


Jeonghan: Knows all the regular customers. Pretty much the face of the cafe. At least 30 people fall in love with him in a day. Will probably steal your girlfriend if you bring her here.


Wonwoo: Owner of the cafe. Constantly wondering why he hired half of these people

I lost my first tooth while my mother was out of the country and I was home with just my dad.

He was So Excited about getting to be in charge of a parenting milestone all by himself.

It was honestly really cute.

Because my parents didn’t believe in lying to kids, I knew it was the parent’s job to steal the kid’s tooth and then pay them damages.

So, I knew it was my dad who’d put $5 in our currency (~$2 USD) under my pillow for it.

When my mother got home, she was SHOCKED.

She was basically like “WTF, why would you give them so much money???”

“Even if you were trying to keep up with inflation since when we were kids, wouldn’t you give them one dollar???“

“Do you know how many teeth kids have????”

“They never would have noticed the difference! But now you can never reduce the price!”

My father is usually a very thrifty, financially-savvy man. He had just gotten over-excited.

But now his wallet flashed before his eyes.

And he had a face of “Dear G-d, what have I done”

The type of horror you’d feel after accidentally launching a nuke.

I felt sorry for him.

But I never let him reduce the price >:)