why do you have to sit like that

as a matter of fact, if you  get rid of factors such as teamplay or accuracy, overwatch is just an overglorified game of rock-paper-scissors except you get points for each second your hand sign is winning. you can change them at all times and you have an 8 minute time limit. youre doing this with 11 other people. the only reason why you may sometimes lose is because the one guy on your team just loves to hold his hand in a rock, he doesnt care that his opponent is just sitting there, paper out, he just fucking loves doing that rock, “feels so good. i like putting my hand into a fist” he says

anonymous asked:

I want Dammek to be like those kids that question literally everything. "Whats that?" "What does this do?" "Is this toxic?" "Why is it doing that?" "Why is it making this sound?" "What am I holding?" "Why can't I go in there?" "Why do you have this?" Jude will just sit there and wait for the batteries in one of their walkies to die so he can stop suffering.

Please help them both.

Rant

Okay… this freshman looked lonely the first day of school. He said he was waiting for his friends to come so I said he could sit with us until they came.

It’s been two months and his friends have still not come

Also says penis or vagina and giggles. Honestly I don’t think he knows what intercourse actually is.

anonymous asked:

I personally have a hc of Carlos having trichotillomania, because I do and like just if he had it too and his hair was still called perfect it just makes me feel better about myself

Yes!!

When Witches Watch Ghost Shows

“That’s…That’s not how Ouija boards work. And the apps are not a reliable indicator of activity because their shit is randomly generated.”

“Why are you ASKING the tiny mysterious child to come in and play? Are you fucking stupid?”

“Why is it white people? Why do these shows almost always feature random white middle-America fluffheads without the sense God gave a goose? Is it because they do dumb shit more often or because POC families are quicker to recognize spirit bullshit and move the hell out?“

“-blink- Lady, that is NOT the 91st Psalm.”

“Wait, so you saw random geometric symbols doodled in a closet and you automatically thought OMG SATANIC? What kind of ignorant jackass….”

“RECREATIONAL TAROT CARD READING DOES NOT RANDOMLY SUMMON SPIRITS, YOU USELESS CARDBOARD SUBMARINE!”

“Since when is divination the same as spirit-summoning? What is this bullshit? Read a goddamn book, people, holy crap.”

“No no no, you can’t just set herbs on fire and think that’s it. You have to put some oomph behind it and claim your space. Holy shit, if you can’t use the sage properly, put it the fuck down.”

“You moved into a house that the realtor was literally afraid to walk around in, did you think there was no REASON for that!?”

“Oh you ignored your wife and kids being terrified cause you’re skeptical of spirits, mister big tough man? How’d that work out for ya? Thrown down the stairs you say? Gee, that’s rough.”

“Why does NOBODY listen to their kids when they say they see weird shit!?”

-the second anybody mentions Zozo- “OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD. OH MY. GOD OH MY GOD. OHHHH MY GOD.”

“Ohhh yes, there was a witch who lived in the house once. Totally the cause of your haunting because we all know that the only thing witches do is sit around and summon evil spirits. Much wicked. Very scare. Wow.”

“Yanno, witches aren’t automatically evil and hauntings can be nasty without being demonic. Your fundie financial backers are showing.”

“Listen, numb nuts, surfing the internet to find out what’s clomping around your house at night is kind of like going to WebMD to figure out why you have a stomachache. The answer you find is always going to be way more dire than what’s actually going on. Sheesh.”

“Oh my fuckin life….I need more wine.”

So in light of all the crazy shit that happened to Akechi cosplayers at AWA this past weekend, I think it’s about time we all sit down as a fandom and have a serious talk. I’m not here to preach at you or tell you why bullying cosplayers is wrong. This is shit you should already know. What I would like to do is just sort of… raise awareness, I guess; remind everyone that if you see an Akechi cosplayer being harassed, you’re not powerless. You can help. All it takes is one person coming to somebody’s aid to change the outcome of these types of scenarios. Tell the asshole in question to fuck off or, if assault in involved, call the police. Because yes, we’ve gotten to that point in fandom now where legal action can (and should) be taken. Personal feelings about Akechi aside, we’re all human beings and we all love the same thing. This shouldn’t be guerilla-fucking-warfare. It’s a videogame. Goro Akechi’s a fictional character.

Spread this shit like wildfire, guys. Because this isn’t exclusive to this fandom, either. It’s becoming a serious problem.

2

trade mistakes // panic! at the disco

Alright so, let me get this straight. The fandom as a whole has been complaining since season one that we don’t have any filler episodes. Episodes where they get to have fun and relax and even do a bit of character development. But then the majority of season four is considered filler episodes (the scene with Kaltenecker. A lot of the coalition show episode, etc) but yet you guys still go and complain? 

Season four was short, it was six episodes, there wasn’t much they could do to begin with but you know what? They did a lot for a “filler” season. They brought in a major new character (Matt Holt). They gave us a major plot twist with Lotor and his generals. They gave us Allura learning to use her magic a bit more. They gave us a scene with Haggar showing her true form. They created a major alliance. They gave Keith a new motive, major development and all while keeping him in the back. They gave us a lot in this season and you guys are really still going to sit there and complain? 

I’ve seen people say that the writers have no idea what they’re doing. I’ve seen people say that the writers are ruining the show. I’ve seen somebody have the audacity to say that the show has been queerbaiting klance just because they didn’t even interact this season. And so many more complaints. Like, why are you guys wasting so much energy on being so negative about a season that was fun, entertaining and still moved the plot forward? Sure it left us with a lot of unanswered questions and a lot of new questions but so what? They still have a long way to go, and if you’re honestly going to sit there and complain season after season then do yourselves a favor and just leave the fandom and forget the show. Seriously. If you’re that upset about a show then move on from it. 

Because guess what? The show writers know exactly what they’re doing. They know exactly where they’re going and what information they’re giving to us and what they’re not. They know how they want their show to go and you have no right to say that they’re ruining it. Because they aren’t. They’re doing with the show exactly what they’ve had planned since the beginning. Since their pitch. They’re doing exactly what Dreamworks/Universal liked from their pitch and signed them onto do. 

So seriously, please, if you aren’t enjoying it then move on. This fandom is negative and toxic enough, please don’t add to it by dragging down a season that was meant to be fun and entertaining.

Negotiations

I walked into the room, avoiding direct eye contact with the alien waiting for me. Its huge eyes just looked like a jet black sclera set in a sack of vaguely damp, wrinkled gray leather. If eyes are a window into the soul, this creepy little guy would give satan a run for his money. They just put me on edge, somehow. I’d have to make eye contact anyway, but it could wait.

I strode up to the meeting table, pulled out the chair, and sat down. I shuffled around in my bag for a moment before pulling out a small piece of tech, which I set on the table in front of me.

“Before we begin, I want to be sure of a few things. This device you’ve provided us with, it is 100% effective at understanding and translating languages, correct?”

The alien across from me nodded. It’s a nice little allowance they’ve made for comfort, learning our body language, but its bulbous head threw the whole gesture off. It made me think of one of those old inflatable toys with a weight on the bottom, that would lean too far to the side before bouncing straight back up. Woobles or something. It didn’t really matter.

“Nearly. We occasionally find a race with one or two concepts that it has trouble with, but that’s easily smoothed over.”

I took a deep breath, and waited a moment to compose myself. This whole thing was going to be more trying than not interrupting old man Higgins up the street while he went on about whatever racist sentiment was in his head at the moment.

“One or two…okay. That’s odd.”

The alien blinked. Eyelids came in from not just the top and bottom, but also the sides. That’s just plain creepy. Reminds me of one of those really old movies they threw on the media blacklist pretty much as soon as first contact started. Something in black. Whatever it was, I remember seeing it as a kid, and that guy at the beginning had nothing on this alien’s eyes.

“Have you already found something it can’t translate?”

I nodded, then pulled out my communicator and scrolled through a few documents. I really needed to clean this thing out. Can’t believe I didn’t get around to it before coming to such an important meeting. Imagine the debacle that would result if I opened exactly the wrong thing. Never can know what that might be, honestly.

“Of a sort, yes. Mind humoring me for a few minutes?”

The alien steepled its hands together, and leaned forward. That’s just plain creepy. I wonder how they learned such context specific body language? Not that it really matters, I guess. Not my problem.

“Certainly. After all, it can take years to accept a race into the Federation.”

Nodding again, I pulled up a document on my communicator, then leaned back in my chair as I began. This was going to be more interesting than that time your classmate Jimmy found some old matches somewhere and almost burned the school down by mistake.

“Excellent. This shouldn’t take much time. I mentioned that we found some issues with your device. Allow me to demonstrate: Espionage.”

The little device on the table beeped, and a red light flashed.

“ERROR: NO ANALOGUE FOUND”

I sighed. That one had been an accident. We just had the thing sitting in a conference room while we discussed the implications of the visit when it came up. But, when something that simple for us to understand came up, we had to try for more.

“Reverse Engineering.”

Again, a beep and a flash of red.

“ERROR: NO ANALOGUE FOUND”

“Spycraft.”

And again with the beep. This was going to get irritating if I didn’t speed things up a bit. Too bad we hadn’t managed to find a mute option for that feature.

“ERROR: NO ANALOGUE FO-”

“Overwhelming Force”

“ERROR: NO-”

“Scorched Earth”

“ER-”

“Kamikaze”

“E-”

Blitzkrieg, Stealth, Mutually Assured Destruction, Acceptable Losses, Pyrrhic Victory, Guerilla Warfare, Encirclement, Entrenchment, Siege.”

The device gave off a series of distressed beeps, punctuated by rapid blinking of the little red light. I almost felt sorry for it. Almost.

“TOO MANY ERRORS DETECTED. REBOOTING. RUNNING SELF DIAGNOSTIC. NO DISCREPANCIES FOUND,”

I paused, and glanced across the table at the alien before looking back down at the translator. This was going to hit it harder than a washed up holovid actor with no auditions and less money hits rock bottom.

“Xenocide”

The chair across from me clattered to the ground as the alien practically fell out of its seat. I don’t blame the poor thing. Of all the aggressive, militaristic words we tried, that was one of the ones we least expected to translate. I mean, really. Who has a word for the intentional extermination of an entire sapient species when they don’t even understand fundamental hostile international mechanics like spying?

“Why do you have a word for…what was all that just now?”

I chuckled a bit while motioning for the alien to sit back down. His reaction had been pretty good, perfectly suitable for one of those hammed-up old dramas where the hero realizes they’ve been working with the villain all along.

“We were confused about that too. So we took a look at the information you sent as part of first contact with us. We noticed something interesting. Every single race in your Federation is carnivorous. Why is that?”

The alien seemed smaller somehow as it settled back into a seat. It looked kind of like a balloon slowly losing air, if that balloon was made of moldering gray leather with eyes that made your spinal column decide it wanted a holiday in Fiji.

“First contact has always been made after sapient races make it to multiple worlds. We’ve never found a sapient herbivorous race which failed to destroy themselves in resource wars and aggressive action. We’ve never found herbivores capable of surviving long enough to leave their own world.”

I leaned forward in the chair and smiled while finally making direct eye contact with the alien. I think the poor thing shivered when I did that. Not that I blame it. Imagine your reaction when you start to put the pieces together and realize that your friendly, upstanding next door neighbor might be the world’s most wanted criminal.

“And the races you have found, while commonly using threat displays, do not waste resources on wars they cannot easily win, correct?”

The alien nodded as it slouched a bit in its chair. It looked kind of like it was trying to hide. Who wouldn’t want to hide from the monsters in their closet?

“Wasted resources means decreased likelihood of survival.”

I shrugged. That was true enough, though rather coldly logical. Dispassionate logic like that has never been our strong suit. Then again, that’s why I’m in this situation in the first place, so it evens out.

“And yet herbivores constantly waste resources on aggression, on movement, on having more young than will possibly survive.”

The alien was staring at me. I’m not sure when the last time it blinked was. I wonder if those eyes need some kind of lubrication to keep from drying out. Probably, they looked a bit less creepy than they should’ve. Looked like they were losing their shine.

“And they die for it. That’s exactly why we’ve never encountered spacefaring herbivores. Their inherent aggression is their own demise.”

I held eye contact. I’d almost swear the alien was a weird statue right now. Don’t know who would commission a statue made of old greasy leather, but I’m sure there’s someone with too much money and too little sense who would give it a shot.

“Indeed. Now, back to the subject at hand. I’ll ask you before we continue: what can you offer humans for joining your Federation?”

The alien sputtered as it started moving again. I’d swear it looked offended. Maybe it doesn’t see where this is going. Not that it really matters, I guess. I mean, it probably matters about as much as posting a formal complaint to a new corporate policy, which is to say not at all.

“We’ve already sent the offer. You’ve seen that, I’m sure.”

I nodded, and began to tap out a staccato rhythm on the table with my fingers. I never could remember where I learned this stupid tune. I’ve known it as long as I can remember, and it just moves into my head on occasion and sticks around like that one couchsurfing friend who doesn’t understand the idea of wearing out their welcome.

“And I’m asking, what else do you have to offer?”

The alien just shook its head again, staring at the device. I wonder if it thought we might’ve tampered with it. As if we knew how. That little thing is way beyond our current abilities. We had some scientists pry it open and look inside, just to be sure.

“Nothing. I’m not sure why you’re-”

I raised my hand, cutting him off. Huh. Not sure why that worked. Did they learn that much of our body language? That’s still really creepy, if it’s the case. Or, maybe I just have it on edge. I dunno. I guess it doesn’t matter.

“May I have permission to connect my datapad with my ship’s computers?”

The alien glanced away from me for a moment. I assume it was checking in with superiors somehow. Maybe it was psychic, to an extent. Or maybe they just had an implant of some sort. We’ll find out eventually, I’m sure.

“Yes, if you like.”

I sighed. I guess that makes things easier for us. I don’t think anyone was going to like what I was about to do. This whole thing felt kind of like one of those holovids of an accident, where you know what’s coming and don’t want to keep going, but for some reason you just can’t seem to stop and pull yourself away.

“Computer, show video: Hiroshima”

A screen appeared in the air above my datapad. It started playing back an old, grainy video. Shaky, taken by hand in an aircraft in a firefight. Below, you can barely see a city being blotted out by a massive explosion. A cloud of smoke, fire and debris was rapidly climbing into the sky, billowing, growing, blooming into an eerie and easily recognized mushroom cloud.

“That’s…you’re using weapons of that scale on a population center? How recent was this?”

I shrugged, and closed the video. The screen on my datapad went back to the document I had up earlier. Gotta love how well they managed to predict this whole thing. I made a mental note to recommend a raise for whoever set up that document for me.

“Three centuries ago. Prior to our invention of spaceflight. Part of a much larger conflict. This is a relatively minor example of “overwhelming force”“

“ERROR: NO A-”

“Shut it. Computer, show infosheet: Battle of Stalingrad.”

A series of graphs and diagrams appeared above my datapad. They showed resources, time, maps, battle plans, and death tolls. Images were interspersed throughout, as were annotations on the tactical value of this, the emotional value of that. Prominent among them was a single apartment building, including notes on sniping from the roof and support via tunnels.

“That…what purpose would that…why w-”

Again, I raised my hand to cut him off, before closing the infosheet. Maybe it was both. Nah, couldn’t be. Only way it was both having this guy on edge and our body language is if it somehow had our body language built in. Unsettling thought, but not exactly likely.

“Because Stalingrad was an advantageous location and the people who died there were considered ‘Acceptable losses’“

“ERRO-”

“Computer, show gallery: General Sherman’s March to the Sea.”

A multitude of images appeared over the datapad. Rail lines and roads intentionally broken and destroyed. Farms and fields scoured clean and left to fallow. Buildings and towns razed to the ground. A broken people left to mourn and starve.

“So much waste…that can’t be intentional, can it?”

I glanced at the images, the wanton destruction that campaign caused, and the very orders that caused it. That kind of thing may be considered morally reprehensible now, even a war crime, but it wasn’t always. At the time, the strategy was extolled as one of the reasons the war ended the way it did.

“It was intentional.”

The alien stared at me, its reflective black eyes bigger than I’d ever seen them before. Creepy as all hell, that’s for sure. I’d rather not deal with these kinds of meetings in the future. Maybe after this I could negotiate for some kind of retirement.

“But…why?”

I tapped my datapad and closed the gallery, then leaned back and tossed my feet on the table. May as well relax, I already knew how this was going to end.

“Because it rendered the enemy unable to use resources Sherman couldn’t keep. Computer, assemble and show video grouping: RTS Games”

A large grid of videos came up, showing a huge range of scenes. Largely battle, the settings varied from open space to deep ocean, from early history to the far “future.” Even battles across space and time could be seen.

“The translator can’t have gotten that right. Those are military tactical simulations. Higher level than anything I’ve ever seen or heard of.”

I laughed as I closed out all of the videos and turned back to the alien. Creepy and unsettling as it might be, I’m pretty sure I was terrifying the poor thing. Not that I really felt sorry for it. Not at all.

“No. They aren’t. Those are games. Toys. For. Fun. And they’re a couple hundred years out of date. From what I’ve seen, nearly every human capable of coherent speech is capable of tactically overwhelming your Federation. And since we’re already here, in space, it’s too late for you to say no. So, I’ll ask again:

What do you have to offer us?”

Thoughts of a Hockey Penalty Box Attendant

  • ‘Get a job in the NHL they said, it’ll be fun they said, fuckin’ lied though didn’t they.’
  • 'Here comes our first prisone–I mean player.’
  • 'Why do you guys have to hit the glass with your sticks? Why? You could poke an eye out.’
  • 'Oh no, no no no, not the camera– damnit, we just got a new one.’
  • 'How many times is this guy gonna get a penalty.’
  • 'Oh great, here comes another one. Joy.’
  • 'Okay guys, I’m running out of roo- okay honestly, I have no where to sit now.’
  • 'Ew, I just stepped in some sort of bodily fluid.’
  • 'Just once I’d like to see a fan come in the box circa Tie Domi. Just once.’
  • 'It’s a good thing there’s no hot mics in here. A sailor would blush after hearing some of this shit.’
  • 'Can–can you not try to continue the fight while in the pout palace? You’re basically in a glass case of emotion and no one can hear you but me.’
  • 'I will either go deaf from players yelling or fans. Probs both.’
  • 'I am the keeper of the bad children and I alone can release them from their prison.’
  • Scott: There are seven chairs and ten guests, what do you do?
  • Derek: Have everyone stand.
  • Isaac: Get more chairs?
  • Peter: The best seven get to sit.
  • Stiles: Kill Peter.
  • Scott: How's that going to help?
  • Stiles: Because it'll make me happy.
  • Scott: Okay, that still leaves two people without seats.
  • Stiles: No, Erica'll sit in Boyd's lap and I'll sit in Derek's. Problem solved. Everyone's happy.
  • Peter: I'm not. I'm dead... again.
  • Stiles: Like I said, everyone's happy.

bleusarcelle  asked:

Oh oh oh oh!!!! For the prompt. How about a Klance video call where Lance is telling Keith all of their shows and Keith is like quiet but with a smile enjoying Lance's RAMBLING and they have a soft moment of.... Hey you are missed, u know that right? Kdksksksksikss idk.

HOLY SHIT YES. Yes i love this. Thank you Bleu for this premium suggestion


Keith’s fingers hover over the call button. He’s been doing this now every night for a week. Why is he nervous? Why can’t he summon the courage to just hit the damn button?

Just call him. Just call him. Just call him! 

He reprimands himself. His hands tremble and he sits down on his bed. 

What if he’s mad at me? What if they’ve moved on? Maybe it’s better if I stay quiet…

Keith sighs and goes to put his communicator anyway in his pocket. Just like he always does. The ship around him is silent. It’s always silent. His room is cold. 

In his gloved hands, his finger slips and his communicator screen lights up.

“Shit! Shitshitshitshit…” He grapples with the device, but before he can hang up, the ringing has stopped. A chipper voice rings out and he’s staring into familiar eyes.

“Keith?!” Lance answers. His eyes search Keith’s face and his surroundings. “Are you ok? Do you need…?”

“What? No, no, I’m fine, Lance. I’m ok.” Keith shushes. He can’t help the small smile that pulls on the corner of his lips. “I’m fine.”

“Oh thank god.” Lance sighs and rolls back on his bed. He closes his eyes. His heart still thunders in his chest. 

“You that worried about me?”

“More like I’m comfortable and didn’t want to go on a mission right now.” Lance smirks and chuckles quietly. Keith rolls his eyes. 

“So why’d you call anyway?”

This question trips Keith up. He hopes that Lance can’t see the blush that rises to his cheeks. That he doesn’t notice the way he fidgets with his hood. 

“Uh, I guess I just wanted to check in and see…” His voice trembles.

“Did you miss me?” Lance grins.

“No!” Keith snaps. Lance laughs.

“I… I dunno… I just….”

Lance hears the uncertainty in his voice. He watches Keith’s eyebrows crinkle together in frustration. Lance’s smile falters and his expression falls into one of gentle concern.

“Do you want me to tell you what the team’s been up to?” He offers. 

Keith sighs. He’s grateful for the change of subject and nods.

“Well we’ve made contact with the rebels and have been working together on some stuff. And oh my god, Keith, Keith you will not believe…” Lance sits up and excitedly talks to his communicator. 

“Keith, I swear to god, One of their captains is a dog!”

“Wait what?”

“I’m serious! One of their captains, she’s really cool by the way, she’s a straight up dog that walks around on two legs and talks and and… did you ever see Disney’s Robin Hood with the foxes?”

Keith blinks. Lance is going a mile a minute and it’s hard to keep up.

“Uh yeah?”

“It’s exactly like that! She looks like a character from that movie and everyone else is totally fine with it and isn’t even mentioning it, all the while I am freaking out because there is a race of goddamn space dogs.”

Keith laughs. A familiar warmth flickers in his chest.

“Oh! Oh! Sorry I totally forgot! We found Matt! Well Pidge did, but that’s besides the point…”

“Whoa what? You found…?”

“Yeah Pidge found her brother! He was with the rebels and she tracked him down! And now he hangs out with us and Pidge is just so happy. And Hunk has someone new to talk about nerdy stuff with. He seems cool, even if a bit delusional. He definitely has a thing for Allura and, oh man, that poor boy does not stand a chance.”

“Wow that’s … I can’t believe…” Keith sighs.

“Have you seen our shows?!” Lance beams into the camera. Again Keith is caught off guard. It takes him a moment to interpret what Lance just asked him.

“Oh!” His expression melts into a teasing smirk. “Oh… Oh I know about them. You’re quite the actor, Lance.”

“What can I say? I’m a natural.” Lance brushes his hair back and shoots a finger gun straight towards Keith.

“But they’re so much fun, dude. Like I just get such a rush from all the cheering you know? Like it’s been really amazing to inspire people and talk to fans directly. And the coalition is stronger than ever! 

Shiro’s been such a good sport about all this. Like I can tell he’s uncomfortable? But he really throws himself into it, and the fans all love him. Well of course they would, he’s Shiro. Oh! And you should see the way little girls all run up to Allura afterwards. She uses your name in the script, but these kids aren’t fooled.”

Lance continues to rant about their antics. About how they rehearse, and Lance had a fair bit of input to his choreography. About how it all ended with them actually fighting a monster in an arena, and Allura doing the sweetest backwards flip kick Lance has ever seen.

A lump forms in Keith’s throat.

“I think I needed a different outfit for my rope routine. The armour was a bit clunky, and you know… I should really give the fans what they want.” He waggles his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry I missed it. You’ll have to give me a private show sometime.” Keith smiles.

Lance looks at him in shock. A blush rushes to his ears and his mouth opens into a wild smile.

“Did you just…?!”

“Oh my god!” Keith yanks his hood over his face. He’s just realised what he may have implied.

“I didn’t mean…! God, Lance! Not like that!” He shouts, but he can’t help the giggles that burst from his chest. He can hear Lance’s laughter matching his own.

“Can you get me a cool Blade of Marmara outfit to do it in?” Lance chuckles. He sighs as he catches his breath.

“I don’t think I can just take one.”

“Shame. I really like them.” Lance chews his lip. “You look really cool.” 

Keith ignores the way that makes the ache in his chest throb. He shakes his head and tries to hide how flustered he feels with a laugh.

“It uh… it sounds like you guys are going really well.”

“Yeah.” Lance sighs. He brushes his hand through his hair. “We’re uh… we’re doing good stuff, but…”

A heavy silence falls between them. Lance feels the words on the tip of his tongue. He knows what he wants to say, but is suddenly embarrassed to say them. His relationship with Keith is precarious and he worries that his next word might send them over the edge. He swallows.

“But I really wish you were there.” His voice is hushed. He averts his eyes from the communicator. 

“We miss you Keith. I know you’re doing important work, and I know that you’re helping us by helping the blades, but we just…” He stammers. “I…I just…”

He accidentally meets Keith’s eyes. The reality that Keith is on the other side of the galaxy hits him like a crashing wave. 

“I’ll never replace you. We’re a team.” His breath shudders.

“Lance, I…”

“Please come home.” Lance presses his eyes closed. “We all worry. And Red asks about you and, and…” His fingers grip at his jacket. “Don’t stay gone forever. … okay?”

 Keith sighs. His eyes begin to sting and he can feel his resolve crumbling. He briefly thinks about where the pods on his current ship are located before he pushes it out of his mind. 

No. He can’t run back now. Not yet. 

“I’ll be back.”

“Stay safe,”

“I will.” Keith nods solemnly.

Lance hangs up the call and stares down at his communicator. His hands fist into his sheets and his mouth twists into a scowl.

“You’re lying.” 

“Why wouldn’t I like you?”

Gentle self care

  • Get a big glass of water and see how good you are at chugging. Sipping water is for pussies, scull that sweet sweet agua like a bitch ass winner.
  • Do you have a pet? Fucking pet that motherfucker. Give your lil floof all the love you were denied as a kid.
  • Why are you wearing pants at home??? Seriously why? Who are you trying to impress?
  • For that matter, people with boobs, why are you wearing a rediculous spandex chest prison??? Get rid??? Set your flappy skin free???
  • Get outside. Sit in the sun. Roll on the grass. Eat a plant for all I care. Just make sure you do that like a fucking badass.
  • Eat a fucking apple or some shit. It’s sweet and delicious and your body wants it. Go to town on that apple. Make love to that apple. Destroy that apple with your rabid hunger.
  • Sleep naked, at least once. No one’s gonna see or judge. Trust me on this, you’ll never feel more free in your life. Just make sure it’s not winter otherwise you’ll never feel colder in your life.
  • Make some hecking ice lollies. Step 1: juice, Step 2: water, Step 3: freeze that bitch. Bam, you’ve got yourself a nutritious treat and its delicious as f Uck.
  • Take your arms and wrap the around your buddy. EMBRACE your brethren like the punk rocker you are. Give them a hug, a proper one, none if that half assed pat-on-back shit. HUG LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
  • Wash, rinse and repeat.
R: They get mad at their s/o but they were at fault.

Requested by @minlii:

Hi^^ can i request a bts reaction to them getting really mad at their gf (but really so things got out of hand and she starts crying etc.) But they later realise they were at fault and she didn’t do anything wrong? Thank you♡

A/N: You guys sure love angst. I can never write a few lines when it comes to angst tho damn ;A; btw I’m sorry J-Hope stans, this one might hurt a tad oopsie!

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anonymous asked:

For your prompts thing-- Kara loses her memory of everything including and after becoming Supergirl including her gf Lena (kinda like The Vow, but she gets her memory back??)

She saw it coming—

—bright, green, massive. A shout to move. The thundering of a heart. The, the, the—

She saw it coming.

She’d never paid much attention to human idioms. There were so many, every language and people with their own, garnering wide eyes and blinked shock when she got her idioms mixed up, sometimes even combining them with phrases she’d heard on Krypton. (She’d come to accept that they’d die, those phrases unique to her people. She’d learned that Kal-El couldn’t possibly understand them, never having seen the deep red of her sun or experienced the jokes within the different Guilds, and despite her best efforts to explain, merely smiled kindly and nodded, a faraway look in his eyes—confused and aching for a home he’d never know.)

No. She’d never paid attention to human phrases. It seemed moot, for the most part. Krypton would die with her, and bumbling through her idioms as Alex patiently listened without understanding felt a little bit like she was keeping something of her home planet alive.

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Cream & Sugar

Series: Mr. Holland

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Mr. Holland gets to know the reader and her little sister

Warnings: Swearing as always, fluff, triggering if you don’t like people in the hospital

Word Count:3,300+

A/N: I’m building the story so please wait for the smut to happen.


[Reader’s POV]


“Why are you so dressed up today? You’re wearing your look at my ass skirt” Louis smirks before taking a sip of the coffee you made him. You swear his smirk reminded you of the cheshire cat.


“Well Louis I actually have a job now” flipping him off as you slip on your heels. His eyes grow wide as he walks around the kitchen counter.


“A job now? do tell” he sits himself wiggling in the seat getting comfy. Picking up your purse off the dining room table you look inside. Your eyes double checking you had everything you needed. You were up at six this morning to get ready so you can be there by seven.


“I’m a secretary at Holland Industries an-”


“The Holland Industries? the one that’s helping the hospital your sis is at?” He brushes his hair back that fell in front of his face.


“Yes Louis but before you interrupted I was going to say my boss is Mr. Holland himself.. I got to be his secretary!” you do a little dance out of excitement, you really needed this job.


“Is he even more attractive in person? I heard someones hand bled after slapping him cause they hit his jawline! Di-“


“Louis calm your whore-mones okay? I have to go to work.. I’ll see you later for lunch?”


“Text me what sushi you want babe, It’s time to celebrate” getting up he gives you a big hug. Waving good bye you take your keys out of the bowl by the door. Closing the door behind you and locking it. You make your way down the hallway towards the rest of your day.


-


   Walking into the building you click the power button of your phone. It illuminates showing the time and smiling that you made it an hour early like you wanted to. You had your box of things for your office resting against your hip as you walked. Being early was a good chance for you to personalize your office as well. You didn’t want it to be just an office you wanted it to be a home from homs. In a way you’re like Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds with little trinkets you would decorate your desk with.


    Poking the button the elevator door dings open. Walking inside the elevator you see another person walking in right after you. Her hair reminded you of how Arianna Grande wears her ponytails. She pushes her glasses up her nose giving you a small smile.


“What floor?” you ask her pointing at all the buttons. She holds up the number with her hands and then points to her ear shaking her head no.


‘I’m on the same floor’ you sign to her with one hand before pressing the button. Looking back at her she introduces herself and showing you her name sign. Thank god you were trilingual and Sign Language was one of the languages you knew.


‘I feel so alone here, it’s nice someone here knows my language’ she confesses as the two of you walked down the hall. Unlocking your door she walks in with you helping you set your stuff up. She offered to help you since you’re new and she wanted to chat.


‘Is he as mean as they say he is?’


‘you mean Mr. Holland?’ you raise your brows in a question earning a nod from her. Marie sets your organizer down next your iMac.


‘From what people have written to me they say he never keeps a secretary more than a week” she pushes her glasses back up. Glancing down at her watch that lit up she excuses herself saying she needs to go. Waving goodbye she leaves the room, her ponytail bouncing a bit.


    Looking over at the clock you mentally think you should make his tea now. Setting your phone on your desk you walk to the break room. Your heels clicked against the marble flooring as you walked. The lighting wasn’t bright but tolerable because you hated bright lights. Seeing a sign you see in white lettering say “Break Room.”


   Pushing the door open you see a couple of people in there. Smiling you head inside and walk over to a cabinet full of white mugs. There was a small kitchen in here which was nice. There were couches and a table for people to eat at. Thinking more about it there are people that probably stay here overnight to work. Pressing the button down on the electric kettle you patiently wait for it to heat the water. Pulling out two mugs you set them aside. Picking out of the options you pick your tea bag and grab one for Mr. Holland.


   Tearing the package open you set each tea bag into the mugs. Once the water is heated you fill up both of the cups. Grasping the string you circle the bag inside the mug letting the tea disperse in the water. Repeated that to your mug you then locate the sugar and two spoons. Opening the fridge you sea some milk and pull it off the shelf.


   When you’re done you pick up the mugs off the counter. A man waits for you holding the door open. Thanking him you make your way back to your office. Turning the handle down with your elbow you push the door open with your hip. Setting your mug down on your glass coaster. Knocking on your door that connected to his office you wait for a response.


“Come in” His voice sounds through the door making your heart beat a little faster. Grasping the handle you turn it and walk into his office. His head turns looking in your direction. Walking over you see his eyes scan down your body and back up.


“Here’s your tea Mr. Holland” you smile setting a coaster down on his desk. The mug making a small clinking sound as you set it down.


“Did yo-“


“Little cream and sugar, I hope you like it” the nerves inside you were building up. Maybe there would be a new record and he would fire me for not liking the tea I made. What Marie told you earlier made you scared as fuck.


   He lifts the mug up sniffing it smiling a bit. Noted he doesn’t mind that you chose an Earl Grey  tea. Bringing the mug to his lips he takes a sip of it. Raising your hands to your chest you hold your hands together. Silently praying he liked it. He looks over at you chuckling showing his adorable smile.


“You can relax love, I really like the tea.. thank you I really needed that this morning” His smile prominent as he looked up at you.


“Y-You’re welcome Mr. Holland… is there anything else I can do for you?” tilting your head slightly to the side bringing your clasped hands down in front of you. Rubbing his jaw he takes a cursory glance at your skirt then back up to you.


“I don’t have anything till nine.. will you bring your tea in here and join me? I don’t want your tea to get cold” He loosens his tie a bit relaxing in his chair. Halting before you do anything, is this a test.


“No this isn’t a test, go grab your tea I’d love the company this morning” Mr. Holland chuckles at your reaction. Shit you actually said that out loud? Walking to your office you grab your tea and cellphone then head back taking a seat across from him.


“So what did you want to talk about Mr. Holland?” you ask crossing your leg over your knee. Your skirt rising a bit naturally.


“I.. wanted to talk about you communicating with one of my Deaf employees” his eyes glued to your legs made the blood rush to your cheeks.


“She’s a lovely woman Mr. Holland, I had a lovely chat with her while setting up my office” smiling at one of the stories she told you. Marie is quite a funny girl.


“How do you know the language, I read in you’re trilingual?” sipping his coffee he looks at you waiting for an answer.


“I learned Spanish when I studied abroad but I know Sign Language cause I’m a CODA” you explain taking another sip of your tea before setting it down.


“If you don’t mind me asking what’s a CODA?”


“Oh a CODA is a child or children of Deaf adults, my parents and sister are Deaf, my older brother and I are hearing” shifting nervously in your seat from the stare he had on your body.


“No wonder you looked like a natural, I’m glad you’re here then so she can feel more comfortable.. the last Deaf employee I had got transferred to the states since they moved there.. I had them work for Jacobs building in the states while Harrison and I take care of things across the pond” you notice how his smile lights up when he talked about The Holy Trinity Foundation.


“I talked to my sister the other day, she told me to say thank you for hiring me but also thank you for the help because now the hospital is getting better too..” Looking down at your hands you smile remembering how happy she was. You sat with her while she got chemo treatment to hold her hand through it. She hated being alone when she got treatment. Both of our parents were working extra so we could pay for her treatment.


“Love are you alright? your smiles gone..” Mr. Holland’s finger tilts your chin up making you look at him. He was standing in front of you leaning against his desk. God you’re an emotional wreck sometimes and can’ t control it.


“I’m sorry, I think it’s just best I don’t talk about her” you stand up walking past him to your office. Your body is stopped by a hand grabbing onto your wrist. Mr. Holland pulls you back to him making your body almost collide into his.


“Please tell me about her, is there something I can do?”


“I don’t need your pity Mr. Holl-“


“Tom.. please call me Tom” looking up at him you let out a defeated sigh. The look in his eyes reminded of you of a puppy.. you love puppies.


“Okay.. Tom, my sister is going through expensive treatment and it’s hard seeing her go through it.. her smile is disappearing slowly the longer she stays in there.. funny thing is she loves all of your Spider-Man movies you made in the past” His hand feeling warm and soothing around your wrist. Tom’s thumb rubbed slowly up and down your wrist.


“I have an idea of something to bring a smile to her face.. let me make a call” letting go of your wrist he pulls out his phone. A minute goes by of him talking to someone on the phone. Tom hangs up his phone putting it back in his pocket.


    Grabbing your hand he pulls you out of his office. You ask him what’s going on but he tells you to trust him. Complying you follow him then realize he’s holding your hand. Looking around you see some people whispering as he pulls you towards the elevator. Looking back down at your hands, yes this definitely doesn’t look right.


    Taking your hand out of his grasp once inside the elevator you keep your eyes locked to the floor. You held the Tom Hollands hand. The thought made your cheeks flush and heart flutter. Tom tilts your chin up gliding his thumb against your jaw. It felt like sparks flew underneath his touch.


“Alright lets go” he lets go of your chin walking out of the elevator.


-


“What’s her room number?” Tom asks as the two of you walk down the hallway. Your heels clicking in the quiet hallway of the hospital.


“396” you say pointing towards the child wing of the hospital. The hallway went from boring to fun as it connected to that part of the hospital.


“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes okay? Harrison is bringing me something” Tom smiles at you before you walk through the doors. Looking down you see the colored tiles and Alice in Wonderland themed decorations hanging. Every three months they change the theme in here.


    One of the nurses who knows you tells you she just got settled into her room. Apparently your sister was in the playroom for most of the day due to the new toys they put in there. Sliding the door open you see your sister laying in her bed. She had a one of your knit beanies on her head. A tube sticking into her nose that connected to a bag.  Your heart hurting at the sight.


    Flickering the light on and off you get her attention once you peep your head past the curtain. Her eyes looking up meeting yours, a smile immediately appearing on her face. She winces when she tries to get up. Signing to her you tell her to stay and not move. Pouting she sits back down and crosses her arms.


‘Jaelynn don’t cross your arms’ she huffs out signing fine exaggeratedly. Her little hands flying as she signed quickly to you. She told you how she wants you here instead of her interpreter. The woman dressed in black shifts awkwardly in her seat.


“I’m sorry, uhh I’ll be here for about an hour? why don’t you take a break and go grab something to eat, I’m sure you need a small break before Neil comes in”


“Thank you, I’ll be back within the hour, see you later Jaelynn” Claudia signs and talks at the same time waving to Jaelynn. She waves quickly then putting her hands in her lap.


‘I know this treatment makes you cranky but you need to be nice to Claudia, she comes here to help you’ your facial expressions stern as you sign to her. Emphasizing on being nice to Claudia and pointing to her name sign she made for Claudia.


‘I’m sorry, I don’t want to be here” her little brows furrow together as she pouts. Reaching over you pinch her nose making her giggle. Her face not being scrunched up in a pout.


“Jaelynn we have a surprise for you..” Turning to the side you see Harrison holding a camera. Jaelynn asks what’s going on and you sign you don’t know. Fingerspelling Harrison’s name you tell her that’s who’s behind the camera. Harrison walks by then aiming the camera at the curtain.


   All of a sudden Spider-Man does a flip landing landing in the empty spot next to Harrison. A smile on Harrison’s face as he captured Jaelynn’s reaction. Her little mouth formed an O as she saw Spider-Man stand up. Her little hands signing as you watched.


“Wow! it’s Spider-Man!! he’s here look look” you voice for her smiling over at the masked hero. He reaches up pulling his mask off. Tom shakes his head making his curls fall back in place. Your eyes going down his suited body that clung to his muscles.


“I’m Spider-Man but you may know me as Peter Parker right?” His Queens accent sounding so natural, your hands moving along as he talked. Her eyes watching you then she signs back to you with a smile.


“Of course who doesn’t know about Spider-Man!” you voice excitedly loving the smile that was on her face. Her little hands acting like she was shooting webs.


“How bout we make a Spider-Man pact yeah?” you sign raising your eyebrows at her so she knows it’s a question. She tilts her head before signing  quickly to you.


“Spider-Man pact? I’m a sick kid” your smile dropping after what you just interpreted. Tom sits on the side of her bed. Her hands reaching for his web shooters. She points to his web shooters and starts signing to you.


“You’re Spider-Man, you have web shooters that catch the bad people” Tom laughs at her excitement of his suit from the movies. Jae holds his hand looking at it closely tracing her fingers over the black detailing.


“Of course you are! your powers are fighting against the medicine you have..I talked to Mr. Stark and he wants to pay for your treatment so that you can get the best care” you were shocked at how natural he sounded with his Queens accent. She looks at you watching your hands as you interpreted what he was telling her. Noticing her eyes shining and a smile on her face. It was beaming which brought tears to your eyes.


“So you know the hand shape I make is actually the same shape as I Love You in ASL right?” Her eyes look at her hand and mouth opens in shock. Nodding her head at Tom she raises her hand saying I love you.


“What does that mean?” you ask for her as she looks at Tom who sets his mask down on the bed. Her face held confusion as she looks at you waiting for you to interpret.


“It means that we can make our superhero bond.. I’ll show you”


   He takes her little hand forming it into the I Love You sign making sure her palm is facing down and he places that onto of his hand in that shape. He points with his left hand showing how the signs point to each other. She signs with her free hand letting out a little laugh.


“Spider-Man what do you mean by that!” you say looking over at Tom who was smiling down at Jaelynn.


“It means that there is love everywhere and love beats anything.. That’s why Spider-Man is so much cooler than any other Superhero cause on top of fighting the bad guys I get to spread love to the world. I get to spread the love now through the pact to help stop those bad guys inside you so you don’t have to do this alone…” tears formed in her eyes as she took in everything you signed. She looked down at their hands connected smiling. Getting up slowly she wraps her arms around Tom’s neck.


“Thank you Tom” you whisper wiping the tears from your eyes as they fell down your cheeks. Jaelynn lets go of Tom handing him back his mask. Her hands move in little quick movements.


“When will you be back Spider-Man?”


“I have to see when Mr. Stark needs me for another mission but I’ll definitely stop by to check on my Spider-Man pact friend” He reaches up fixing her beanie that was about to fall off. Claudia enters the room  setting her purse down on the counter as she walks in. Her eyes looking at the whole scene in front of her.


‘He came to see Jae don’t worry, we’ll be leaving now’


‘I’ll come by tomorrow okay? Mom and Dad are busy for the next week’ you sign to Jae before giving her forehead a kiss. She waves to the both of you as we leave the room. Tom goes to the bathroom with a bag and comes out minutes later dressed in his work suit.


“C’mon lets get back to the office and start rescheduling appointments, and Harrison please edit that and upload it to the foundations website” the three of you make your way out of the hospital together. Harrison gives you and Tom a hug goodbye as he takes off to his car.


    The drive back to the office was full of conversation. Mainly you thanking Tom for even thinking of using his suit to surprise you sister. You haven’t seen her smile like that for over six months. Her smile today was all thanks to him. He told you he would start a campaign to help raise funds for Jaelynn. Maybe Marie was wrong, he doesn’t seem cold from how she described him…


“Love, can you make me some tea again with cream and sugar?You made it perfectly the last time..” He hands you his empty mug picking up a file with his other hand. Your fingers brush against his making him look at your hand then back up to you. Tom’s gaze captivating yours almost pulling you towards him just by the look in his eyes.


“Yes Mr. Holland,cream and sugar.. just how you like it” you whisper before turning around and walking out of his office. You could feel his stare burning into your back as you sauntered out down the hall. 


I love these shoes oml

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