Since I'm an angst junkie and want to Feel Things™, could you do 5? Also, congrats on 300!!!!
oh my god i feel this in my heart and soul because THRIVE on angst so let’s do this
5: why do you hate me?
As the post mortem came to a close, Ryan all but ran out of the room. Shane sighed, feeling his heart sink with every step Ryan took. He stood, turning off the camera and took out the memory card, stashing it in his pocket until he could give it to one of the editors.
As much chemistry the two hosts had on the show, behind the scenes it was almost a complete radio silence from Ryan. Shane tried to be optimistic about it, Ryan probably just had stuff to do, but noticing the way Ryan couldn’t sit longer than five minutes alone with him, Shane knew it was something else.
He walked out of the room, dropping off the memory card with the editors, and went back to his desk. Ryan had already stationed himself in his desk, which of course had to be right next to Shane’s. He didn’t say anything as Shane sat down to do some work of his own.
It was easy to delve into the rhythm of working. He could focus on the little details of his projects and not the sinking feeling in his gut every time Ryan shifted farther and farther away from Shane.
It was like this most days. Ryan desperately trying to get away and Shane feeling helpless about it. The daily routine, some might call it.
Finally, after a night of drinking and a morning with a particularly bad hangover, Shane had enough. He had accidentally brushed Ryan’s hand when he went to get a sticky note, and the other man pulled back as if he’d been burned.
“Why do you hate me?” Shane almost shouted, putting down the sticky note and turning to face Ryan. The normal smile on his face had disappeared and was replaced with a look of anger and desperation.
“I… I don’t hate you,” Ryan muttered, feeling awkward in the silence that followed Shane’s outburst.
“Then why can’t you stand to be touched by me or, god forbid, be alone with me.” Shane’s voice was filled with emotion, and he desperately wished he could calm down, but after months of ignoring the situation, he couldn’t hold back the waves of fear and anger and sadness that filled his chest..
“You just don’t understand,” Ryan whispered, standing from his chair.
Shane stood up quickly, blocking Ryan’s path.
“You don’t get to leave in the middle of this. Not until I get an answer,” he said, mustering up all the force he could.
“I don’t owe you shit!” Ryan yelled, his body shaking, and Shane noticed the tears in his eyes.
“At this point you kinda do!” he yelled back, feeling his own body start to collapse into itself.
“No I don’t! Leave me alone! I can’t tell you…. you just don’t understand anything Shane Madej!” Ryan pushed past Shane, leaving him stunned and confused.
Shane looked around, blushing slightly under the gaze of his even more so confused coworkers. He closed out his computer and left, and if anyone noticed the tears in his eyes, well, that would just have to be addressed at another time.
angst is what fuels me, if you want more angst, send me something from this list!