why do they do this to me

Honestly, if you were to tell me 3 years ago (2014) that I would be content, burning some incense, drinking tea, and reading a book while thinking about my datemate, I would’ve laughed. Mostly because I didn’t expect to live this long, 3 years ago. I didn’t expect to graduate, I didn’t expect to ever be happy. I expected to die, and honestly, the sooner the better. 

I was very suicidal and severely depressed back then, and yeah, I still suffer from depression now but I’m doing so much better. I’m not suicidal anymore, and I can honestly say that I’m happier and more content.

I still have my bad days, yes, maybe I’ll get a bad depressive episode, or a psychotic breakdown, but even then? Everything turns out okay.

It’s been a long 3 years and over that time, I’ve gotten so much better. 

I guess I’m writing this to just say, it really does get better, no matter what you think right now. Today might be shitty, but tomorrow might be better, so please, please, please, stick around to find out.

Some days, you might want to give up, but please keep fighting. It’s hard, and it’s tiring, and sometimes you might think that you’re tired of just surviving every day. But I promise you, there will be a time where you will be genuinely happy. You might still have bad, shitty days, but you never know if tomorrow is gonna be better unless you keep pushing forward.

Please never give up. There is always, always something to live for.

I’m just sitting here doing hw at 2 AM like a good college student and Artificial Love comes on… I’m always like oh ok cool this song. But then I remember the sin…

Originally posted by the-princejinyoung

anonymous asked:

you try way too hard to make everything you type and say sound eThEReAL im begging u to shut the fuck up

Why the fuck do you follow me if you HAte tHE wAY I TyPe? 

And actually this is just how I talk? Ask my twin sister @lookingglasssoul or any of my friends from irl like @lunasghost  . The truth is I try desperately to convey the rancid swamp of my emotions & thoughts, and metaphor is a tool to do that. I’m trying to leave behind the way society (even tumblr society) conditions me to talk and be as honest as I can as to how I feel.  I’m reading a lot of Lovecraft and Nietzsche at the moment also lol, so that’s informing my typing a lot too.