why do i stan you guys

Best Comedic Moments of IT (2017)
  • “Best feeling ever!” “Really? Try tickling your pickle for the first time”
  • New kid on the block Ben listening to New Kids on the Block (And making references to their songs and hanging up a poster that he tries to hide)
  • Bill trying to come up with a lie to Eddie’s mom about where they’re going and he goes “I got a new uhhhhh” and then Richie jumps in “A new croquet set!" 
  • Eddie going to kiss his mom goodbye and Richie going "Do you want one from me too Mrs. K?” as Eddie pushes him out the door
  • Pennywise calling Ben “Egg boy”
  • When they found Betty Ripson’s shoe in the sewers and Richie goes “How do you think Betty feels? Running around these tunnels with only one freaking shoe” while hopping up and down with one foot in the air 
  • “It’s in my second fanny pack” “Why do you have two fanny packs?!" 
  • When Eddie is dressing Ben’s cuts from Henry and Richie goes "You have to suck the wound before you apply the bandage, this is 101!” and Eddie just flat out replies “You don’t know what you’re talking about”
  • “The list is longer than my wang!” “That’s not saying much” Stan freaking roasting Richie 
  • The beautiful aesthetic shot of Bev jumping off the cliff with this soft pretty music playing in the background as Richie screams “WHAT THE FUCK”
  • Ben asking if they want to see more of his research about the missing kids and the history of Derry and Eddie violently shaking his head 
  • “Derry started as a beaver trapping camp” “Still is AM I RIGHT BOYS?” Richie going for a high five and getting REJECTED 
  • When Richie is put on lookout outside Bev’s apartment and asks “What if her dad comes back?” and Stan is just DONE and goes “Do what you always do: Start talking!" 
  • "Trash the trashmouth!" 
  • "The sink went all Eddie’s mom’s vagina”
  • When they’re all talking about their experiences with IT and Richie goes “Wait can only virgins see this stuff? Is that why I’m not seeing this shit?" 
  • When the losers saw Mike’s bike and all ran to help immediately and Stan took the extra three seconds to kick his bike stand down 
  • Richie yelling "ROCK WAR” and immediately getting hit in the face 
  • Richie trying to steal and play the horn from the marching band guy in the background during a serious scene 
  • “I saw a leper…… It was like a walking infection”
  • When Stan brings up the woman that IT transformed into for him and Richie just goes “Is she hot?”
  • When Bill asked who wants to stay out of Neibolt House to keep watch and everyone raised their hands (“Fuck” -Richie) 
  • “Can’t believe I pulled the short straw. You guys are lucky we’re not measuring dicks" 
  • Pennywise saying "Beep beep Richie” immediately before attacking him 
  • 3 doors labeled “Very scary” “Scary” and “Not scary at all” with Bill and Richie looking directly at each other before running to “Not scary at all”
  • After Eddie broke his arm and Richie went “I’m gonna snap it back into place!” and Eddie just yelled “Do not fucking touch me!”
  • “Who invited Molly Ringwald?”
  • When Richie yelled that Ben was leaking Hamburger Helper
  • “See that guy I’m hitting? I’m pretending it’s you” Richie while playing the arcade game when Bill came to talk to him after their fight 
  • When Eddie went to confront his mom about his meds being placebos “THEY’RE GAZEBOS! THEY’RE BULLSHIT!”
  • Richie trying to break the bottle against the railing so he has a weapon but then the entire thing just shattered
  • Pennywise’s weirdass dance 
  • “And now I’m gonna have to kill this fucking clown!” END MY LIFE BEST MOMENT OF THE MOVIE
  • “WELCOME TO THE LOSERS CLUB, ASSHOLE!” RICHIE RIGHT BEFORE HITTING PENNYWISE WITH THE BASEBALL BAT
  • “I know what I’m doing for my summer experience essay” Richie right after the final confrontation with IT

The Signs as Richie being an iconic little shit in the movie

Taurus: Who invited Molly Ringwald into the group?

Aries: Go blow your dad, you mullet wearing asshole!

Gemini: Can only virgins see this? Is that why I’m not seeing this shit?

Cancer: you punched me , made me walk through shitty water, dragged me through a crack house, and now…I’m gonna have to kill this clown. Welcome to the Losers Club, Asshole!

Leo: I’ll show you a staff infection!

Virgo: *yelling WHAT THE FUCK off screen*

Libra: This motherfucker is leaking hamburger helper!

Scorpio: I can’t believe I drew the short straw. You guys are lucky we’re not measuring dicks

Sagittarius: *to Stan* was she hot?

Capricorn: do you use the same bathroom as your mother? Then you probably have crabs

Aquarius: *to Beverly* more than what you showed us yesterday at the quarry?

Pisces: No, nothing cool about this at all…Oh, this is cool! Wait, no, no it’s not

mike: ….so let me get this straight. you say you, richie tozier, are a free man?

richie: yep

bill: a c-casanova?

richie: that is correct

stan: a fuckboy supreme?

richie: right on.

mike: …and eddie knows about this?

richie: listen fellas, eddie knows what the deal is. he knows that he’s not the only one to have my heart. he knows i’m a free spirit, but that boy is still so whipped for me.

eddie: -walks over- hey guys

richie: -clings to eddie- i love you so much eddie you are my reason for breathing there is no other for me and i could never look at another. you and only you have my heart.

mike:

bill:

stan: ….fake ass bitch

3

“C'mon Cass, you gotta go out there and put those arms around that messy part of yourself and just…”

I started laughing when i saw this.
I think it’s from the movie ‘the room’
I DON’T KNOW WHY I FOUND THIS SO FUNNY

question: do any of you guys like pewds?

ALSO THANKS YOU FOR 3k FOLLOWERS ❤️🏹

Writing Prompts

Send me your requests HERE with your prompt choice and ship / character of choice! (Please no more than 4) and also add your own request merged into it if you want??

  1. “Give me your jacket, I’m freezing.”
  2. “These shoes were made to kick you in the ass!”
  3. “Are you okay?”                                                                                          “I don’t know how to answer that.”
  4. “It’s no big deal, its just a few scratches.”
  5. “I’m so cute, I don’t see why you aren’t dating me.”
  6. “We made a deal and you’ll keep your end, one way or another.”
  7. “You look cute when you smile, you should do it more often.”
  8. “Why are you blushing?”
  9. “I’m always here and you just ignore me.”
  10. “I’ve worked my ass off to get you in this position.”
  11. “Grab my hand!”
  12. “No, listen to me.”
  13. “I don’t know if I can keep going like this.”
  14. “There’s no shame in taking a step back.”
  15. “I’ll kill you, you sick bastard. I’ll kill you, you’re a fucking monster who deserves to die.”
  16. “Is that… a dog?”                                                                                   “No, Its a fucking horse. Of course its a dog, dumbass.”
  17. “I walked here to you in the rain, this is how much I love you.”
  18. “You are quite the mystery, aren’t you?”
  19. “Let go of me!”                                                                                        “I’m barely touching you!!”
  20. “You’re so cute when you’re mad.”
  21. “Do you believe in love?”
  22. “Put me down!”
  23. “You’re so small, it’s adorable.”
  24. “Look, this isn’t a guilt-trip: I just genuinely want to know if you dislike me so I can stop bothering you.”
  25. “We can’t be friends anymore.”
  26. “Open your fucking eyes, it’s so obvious that I’m in love with you!”
  27. “Don’t you dare touch him/her.”
  28. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
  29. “Don’t do anything stupid, I’m gonna help you.”
  30. “They say less is more, but when have I lived by that?”
  31. “Hey, don’t touch anything. I don’t know how stable it all is.”
  32. “I hate how you’ve made me broken.”
  33. “I’m a screamer. Not sexually, just at life in general.”                                     “I can make that sexually.
  34. “This isn’t one of my more subtle plans, but considering how long it’s been since I ate or drank or slept, I think I’m doing pretty good.”
  35. “If I wanted you dead, this room would be a lot quieter.”
  36. “Do you ever shut up?”
  37. “You’re such an ass!”
    “But a fine looking one, yes?” 
  38. “You’re safe now, I’ve got you.”
  39. “Since when did you become a badass?”
  40. “I don’t know why, but I think I’m in love with you.”
  41. “Holy shit! You’re bleeding!”
  42. “I’d like to talk to you when you have your pants on, okay?”
  43. “If anyone could have saved me, it would have been you.”
  44. “Everyone has a breaking point.” 
  45. “I refuse to play along with this. No thank you, go away.”
  46. “What now?”                                                                                               “I don’t know, I didn’t think we’d live this long.”
  47. “They might not want you, but I understand you, and- well, I like who you are and I want you. Please don’t believe what they say.”
  48. “Are you done staring?”
  49. “Never let go.”
  50. “You broke your promise, you can’t come back from that.”
  51. “Hey, are you awake?”
  52. “I love how we all use affectionate pet names and flirt with one another. It’s nice, having such a close knit group of friends, you know?”        “Okay but have you considered: fuckpile.”
  53. “Stay here, I’m gonna go get help.”
  54. “Despite what you think, I can actually express emotions just like any other person.”
  55. “I’m so sorry-”                                                                                      “Then why would you do that to me?! You betrayed me!”
  56. “It happened again.”
  57. “I don’t like you, but for some reason you make me feel fuzzy.”
  58. “Can I kiss you?”
  59. “So what, you bitter piece of fuck? I’m nasty, lewd, I swear every third fucking word, and I am a better person than you. oh, that burns doesn’t it? That a shit like me is more moral and good and pure than you can ever be?”
  60. “Me? What about you?”
  61. “Oh shit, okay. I’m gonna toss you over my shoulder and book it okay, no way I’m trying to fight these fools. Don’t bleed out onto my back, ‘kay?”
  62. “I’ve been thinking about you. More specifically, where you fit in my future.”
  63. “I didn’t ever think I’d fall for someone like you.”
  64. “Stop fighting!”
  65. “Don’t ever talk to me ever again.”
  66. “Please, just give me a break. I’ve been so busy, trying so fucking hard- I’m doing the best I can. Please, please don’t ask more of me.”
  67. “I wish I could lovingly craft the words together to describe how angry you make me.”
  68. “Looks like we both have detention together.”
  69. “It was over when you said goodbye to me.”
  70. “I hate school and everyone in it.”                                                        “Even me?”                                                                                         “You’re an exception.”
  71. “Kiss me.”
    “No thank you- I don’t want your germs near me at all.”
  72. “Oh, fuck off you piece of shit. You think I care about you? That I give a damn about your feelings? Fuck off- I’m first in line for your head.”
  73. “Have sex with me.”
  74. “Please make me feel alive.”
  75. “You’re the only thing that is keeping me on this fucked up world.”
  76. “Even on the shittest days, you’re always there to brighten them.”
  77. “I love you just the way you are.”
  78. “Your stretch marks are like tiger stripes, it makes you look fucking badass.”
  79. “Stop asking me if I’m alright. My last answer was ‘annoyed’, why would it change any time soon?”
  80. “I will not leave you. No matter how hard it gets or how rough things are, I will always be here. I will not leave you.”
  81. “You are such a fucking cliché.”
  82. “Stay close to me.”
  83. “I can’t do everything!”
  84. “You’re art.”
    “But I’m nothing like your art.”
  85. “I think I owe you an apology.”
  86. “Have you seen- oh
  87. “Did you do that for me?”
  88. “That’s a weird way to say ‘I love you’.”
  89. “Are you happy?”                                                                                  “Yes, very.”                                                                                         “Good … that’s good. That makes me happy.”
  90. “Sorry to interrupt but you need to move your hands away from him/her before we have a problem.”
  91. “When I first met you, I thought nothing of you, now you mean everything to me.”
  92. “Please, I can’t live without you.”
  93. “Surprise!”
  94. “You told me it wasn’t my fault, so why are you blaming me now?”
  95. “Shut up!”                                                                                            “Make me.”
  96. “I’ll fucking kill him/her.”
  97. “Are you jealous?”
  98. “Are you flirting with me?”
  99. “You know me better than I know myself.”
  100. “What do you do when you realise you might not be the good guy?”

honestly i’m so tired of people treating makeup and fashion like they can’t be hobbies. like it’s all right for a guy to know every player on every sports team or every car model but when a girl knows every makeup brand or every hand bag on the market she’s a brainless superficial ditz. like it’s a hobby and it doesn’t inhibit us from knowing about politics or what’s going on in the world, so why do assholes care so much that we also know every lipstick shade mac has ever come out with???

youtube

you need to watch the full video, trust me

“Why do you fangirl over older guys that play fictional characters?”

because I can.

Originally posted by usedpimpa

Safety in Numbers - Mitch Rapp

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Pairing: Mitch Rapp/Reader

Word Count: 6,746

Warnings: 18+, NSFW,  Dirty Talking, Oral (Female receiving), Cowgirl, mentions of being hurt, Protective Mitch

Notes: THIS IS A BELATED BIRTHDAY FIC FOR MY BABE @stilinski-stydia-obrien. She wanted some protective, fluffy smut Mitch. So here you go Shannon. I love you to pieces and I hope you enjoy this. It’s literally the soft, mushy side of Mitch you don’t see that often. 

“No.”

“What the hell do you mean no?”

“I mean no. Do you want to hear it in Arabic? لا (la). How about German? Nein. Oh, how about the newest language we learned together? Portugese! Não. Do you get it now? No means no.”

“Why the hell not, Mitch?”

“Because I said so.”

In case you are wondering, this would be Mitch Rapp. Also known as your partner in crime. Also known as a complete dick bag at the moment.

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

Keep reading

2

@AFIFEST.@ITonyaMovie star Sebastian Stan joined the film’s post-screening Q&A tonight as a surprise guest! #AFIFEST

@AFIFES.@ITonyaMovie star Sebastian Stan, writer Steven Rogers and Craig Gillespie just before the post-screening Q&A. After Stan read for the part, Gillespie recalls, “@MargotRobbie and I were like, ‘He’s the guy.’” #AFIFEST

anonymous asked:

How they get together

I was thinking about this all day at college oh my gosh, I hope you like it

(Ps , if you guys don’t specify who you want the headcanons for I’ll just do reddie and stenbrough)

Reddie :

- They’re 15

- Eddie and Richie were destined to be together since they first saw each other, let’s be real

- Eddie isn’t a ‘first move’ kinda guy

- And Richie is god awful with feelings and how to act on them

- He acts on them as a child would, by teasing Eddie as a way of flirting and being touchy with him as much as possible (pinching his cheeks and hugging him playfully)

- So as an attempt to act on said feelings, he takes Eddie to the Barrens one day alone, to tell him

- However the ‘Eddie, I really like you…like more than a friend’ he wanted to say, comes out as 'Eddie, I like you but not as much as I like your mum’

- Eddie gets pretty angry ('why did you bring me all the way to the Barrens just to make fun of me’)

- Richie fucking hates himself for being so scared of his own feelings, so he goes to Bev for help

- He offers her a pack of cigarettes for advice so she knows it’s serious

- 'Woman up Tozier , you pussy’

- later that night (like 10pm) Richie climbs (falls) through Eddie’s window

- Eddie gets up, ready to quietly yell at him as to not wake his mother

- but before he can say anything, Richie grabs him and hugs him super tight to his chest, resting his chin on Eddie’s hair

- He whispers 'Don’t say anything, let me explain’ and Eddie nods so Richie tells him how he chickened out of actually telling him earlier

- Whilst Richie was explaining, Eddie pushed his face into his neck and wrapped his arms around Richie’s waist

- After Richie finishes talking, Eddie kisses his cheek and says 'you’re my boyfriend now’

- Richie doesn’t argue that at all

Stenbrough

- They’re 17

- These boys are so cute omg, they’ve been crushing on each other for like 3 years

- They’re both so jealous of Richie and Eddie’s relationship

- one day Bill is hanging out with just Eddie and Richie and he’s like 'guys, stop being cute when the guy I like doesn’t like me back’

- and that has Richie Tozier listening for once, who is this boy? Do we know him? What’s he like? Where does he live? Is he hot? ('You’re pushing your luck, Tozier’ - Eddie)

- Bill is super embarrassed that he let it slip that he has a crush on a boy but he answers Richie’s endless questions non the less

- after, Richie is trying to put the pieces together like he’s solving a murder and Eddie just straight up says 'Its Stan, Richie don’t hurt yourself’

- and yeh, Bill can’t deny it’s Stan because he’s not good at lying at all

- 'N-noo…why w-would I have a crush on Stan…that’s c-cr-crazy you guys…I would n-never’

- and yeh, Richie may have told Stan the next day without permission and without telling Bill

- Then at the weekend Bill goes to keep Stan company

- Stan casually mentions that Richie said Bill likes him and that he knows it’s BS because it’s Richie who said it

- Bill thinks it’s now or never so admits that he likes Stan, turning ready to run if he gets rejected

- Stan grabs his arm and tells him the feelings mutual

- They kinda sit looking at each other awkwardly for a bit until Bill breaks the silence

- 'So…b-boyfriends?’ 'Sounds good’

Add more please - xo

stan is passively suicidal (stenbrough/reddie and slight stozier)//TW

trigger warning- mentions of self harm and suicide

-this might get sad beware

-so stan just kinda has a bleak outlook on life

-he likes his birds, his losers, his stuttering boyfriend and that’s about it

-he was really scared about embracing his religion for a long time and it was even worse when he realized he was, in fact, a homosexual

-stan has some mild anxiety and seems very high-strung to any old passerby

-but the losers know that he’s dead inside

-he just is kinda there, only half paying attention

-he’s a very crucial part of the group don’t get me wrong everybody loves and protects stan, but i think he just kinda goes along with everything

-he’s been making jokes about suicide since the start of junior high

-but once he gets into year 9 or around that time he gets diagnosed with depression

-and his parents aren’t exactly the best people to talk to about it because you know just pray it away

-there was one time where richie (who is also mildly depressed and wicked suicidal, but that’s a story for another time) had cut himself a bunch of times and ended up in the hospital for a few days

-and that’s when stan knew that, if he ever tried to kill himself, he would make sure to do it well

-he wouldn’t wake up, he wouldn’t be rescued, he would just die

-and he told that to everybody, not to make richie feel bad or guilty, just to let them all know not to even bother

-and you would think that this would bother bill the most but no, he and stan have had many similar talks late at night where stan explains what’s going on in his head

-but it’s eddie who takes it the hardest

-because eddie’s somebody is there you know?

-eddie’s somebody is hurting himself and breaking inside and nothing eddie’s doing to help is fixing it

-and now the same thing is happening to bill

-and bill is eddie’s best friend and stan is richie’s best friend and that makes the whole situation a thousand times worse

-so imagine that there’s this one time stan doesn’t show up to school

-and he hadn’t called or radioed any of the losers to let them know

-no one answered the door for bill when he came to pick him up that morning

-bill was worried as hell but he felt deep down that stanley was okay

-maybe he was just sick and his parents were at work

-it was just one day right?

-but then one day turned into three days

-and stan has gone full ghost

-bill still doesn’t feel like anything is seriously wrong but he hasn’t slept in a couple days anyway

-eventually he takes a day off of school because his heart literally can’t stand the feeling of being there without stan

-everyone’s tried knocking on the door but no one ever answers

-mike climbed up to stan’s window and peered in to find nobody

-on the fourth day of no stan richie’s fucking done

-eddie was taking it hard, worrying late at night until his chest physically hurt

-but take eddie’s pain and worrying and multiply it by a thousand and add in some suicidal tendencies, that’s what richie’s feeling

-according to eddie (because richie won’t talk to anyone but him) he hasn’t been sleeping or eating and he’s been biting his nails again, something he only does when he’s upset

-so eddie tells richie that they still haven’t heard anything about stan on that fourth night

-and he storms out of his own house and bikes to the uris residence

-eddie’s following close behind, panicking and shouting for him to slow down and think about what he’s doing

-he doesn’t want to entertain the thought that something bad had happened to stan, but if it did he didn’t want richie to be triggered by it

-richie throws his bike down and storms up to the front door, he gets the key out from under the ceramic frog in the front yard and goes in ready to fight someone

-stan’s sitting in his bed with all the curtains drawn, sipping hot chocolate out of a mug shaped like a bird

-he has dark circles around his eyes like he hasn’t slept but that was really all he was doing

-richie had seen this sight before, in stan and in himself

-but no matter what, they always call to let the others know

-“what the fuck, stanley?”

-stan’s confused as to how richie got in the house but he’s not surprised that he showed up

-they’re best friends and you can’t keep shit from your best friend

-“you don’t answer the phone, you’re never in your room when we look through your window, you don’t come to school, and here you are sipping fucking hot chocolate like you’re on vacation”

-“you guys look through my window?”

-“not the point, stan!”

-eddie comes in all out of breath a few minutes later and hears richie shouting

-“richie, it’s not a big deal. i just haven’t been feeling good these past couple days. it happens”

-“and that means you can’t answer the fucking telephone?”

-eddie’s already in the other room calling bill and filling him on what’s happening

-at this point it’s almost a shouting match

-richie’s doing most of the shouting though

-stan is now standing to face his bespectacled friend

-“richie why are you getting so mad? you get sick like this too! you have days you can’t get out of bed and i don’t break into your house and yell at you for it!”

-“because, stanley! i at least let eddie know when i’m down, you left fucking bill in the dark for days! you can’t just disappear for days and not let anyone know if you’re okay! how were we supposed to know you were alive?”

-“richie…..”

-richie’s almost in tears now, gripping stan’s biceps and shaking him lightly

-normally stan would’ve pulled himself away, he’s a lot stronger than richie

-but he saw the look in his friend’s eyes and he knew that richie was seriously hurt

-“we wouldn’t have known whether you were alive or dead because your fucking parents are god knows where, you need to let us know! let me know! i’m your best friend you whore, you have to talk to me!”?

-“i’m sorry rich”

-richie shakes his head, moving to the far corner of the room

-“richie, i’m sorry. i’ll call next time.”

-richie nods as he sucks in his lip and tries really hard not to cry

-“i’m okay.”

-stan pulls richie into the biggest hug of his life, rubbing the smaller boy’s back as he shakes

-“don’t you even try to fucking leave me, uris. you die, i’ll fucking kill you.”

-“i won’t if you won’t, trashmouth”

-eddie eventually comes into the room and takes richie from him, taking over in consoling the sobbing boy

-richie loves stan okay its canon

-all he wants is for him to be alive and okay

-damn

-bill eventually comes over and they all cuddle and watch a movie or something like that

-bev and ben welcome stan with open arms at school the next day

-stan uris feels loved and appreciated and that’s all i want

A lot of people don’t know this but Daehwi is one of my top biases… I don’t even stan Wanna One (nothing against Wanna One! They are amazing but I don’t want to get attached and then they disband… because I.O.I broke my heart) but Daehwi has A HUGE spot in my heart


You guys realise that YMC allowed that kid to do a bit of acting about “writing a letter to his deceased father in Heaven” in front of Daehwi…
-
Seriously, just why?
-
Has he not been through enough? Does he have to react to this on TV for everyone to see? The moment Woojin heard the words “Father, you passed away”, his eyes immediately darted to Daehwi because he knows (as a friend, fellow trainee who has been with him for years, as a BROTHER) how much this hurts him. Then Jaehwan, Minhyun and Ong all looked at Daehwi. And Daniel stood up to get tissues for him.
-
All the members knows how much this hurts Daehwi. Daehwi couldn’t even stop his tears even after the acting ended, but the first thing he says to the kid is, “It’s just acting right?” He was worried that the tragedy that happened to him really happened to another child. And when the kid said yes, he smiled and said, “It’s just acting… thank goodness.”
-
Such a kind child, who doesn’t deserve to have his pain used for a TV programme. Just breaks my heart to see him cry

I’M SORRY BUT OTHER PEOPLE’S TRAGEDIES ARE NOT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES AND RATINGS

Stan’s Sister Part 2 // Richie Tozier

Part 1 !!

“Stan I can explain-” Richie starts

“What are you dong here?” you ask

“Next time you ditch our bird watching plans don’t leave the reason you ditched me face up on your bed” he says holding up the note Richie left me

“Rookie mistake” you say mentally slapping yourself

“Y/N were going home” he walks over and grabs your hand pulling you away

“No!” you yell yanking your hand from Stan’s grip

“Why won’t you let me be with him?!”

“Y/N it’s RICHIE…RICHIE!!”

“So??”

“So?! You’ve heard the way he talks! He’s obnoxious and cracks jokes all the time and just NEVER shuts up!”

“So what?! He’s good to me!”

“Y/N you’re too young”

“WE’RE THE SAME AGE STANLEY”

“IM YOUNG”

“Well it’s not like you’ve never talked to a girl or I don’t know..SPENT THE NIGHT ON HER BALCONY?!” *wink wink @ my fanfic readers

Stan gasps,

“YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I KNOW THINGS”

“uhm you guys..” Richie says trying to get a few words in

“SHUT UP RICHIE” Stan yells. For the first time ever, Richie actually listens to Stan and he shuts up.

“Well let me ask you this Stan..would you let me date Bill?”

“Uh Y/N..I’m still right here” Richie says from behind you

“just shh I have a point here”

“Well..no” Stan says

“Why?? What’s wrong with Bill? Or Eddie? Or Mike or Ben? Huh? They don’t crack jokes all the time do they?”

“No” Stan says quietly

“Then what is the problem?”

“They’re just….they’re boys” he says accepting defeat, “and you’re my baby sister. I just feel like I need to protect you” you decide to calm down a little bit and be sympathetic. Stan could be an over protective douche sometimes but you still loved him.

“At least Richie’s your friend..that way you know he won’t hurt me”

“She’s right” Richie says speaking up finally, “As much shit as I give you, I wouldn’t be with your sister unless I really liked her..and I do.” Stan stays quiet for a few minutes and then speaks up,

“Fine..I don’t like it, but I won’t try to stop it..just don’t kiss around me ever again and if you hurt her I will kill you Richie”

“Thanks man” Richie says smiling at him

“Sorry for downing you earlier” Stan apologizes

“Sorry for kissing your sister”

“No you’re not”

“Yeah I’m not”

“Well..I’m gonna go bird watch” Stanley says turning around and leaving. Once he is out of sight, Richie picks you up and twirls you. You giggle and he sets you down about to kiss you when,

“I can still hear you!” Stan yells. You two giggle and you reach up and kiss Richie anyways.

Lying Is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (Sebastian Stan x Reader) Pt. 4

Princess97:  I’ve decided I’m going to be a porn star.

Sebastian let out a small snort as he read the message on his phone. Ever since the picture exchange, the two of you had been texting nonstop. You moved on from the silly chatroom and gave each other your real phone numbers. It was a risky move on his behalf, but being the typical Leo he was, Sebastian liked to live dangerously every once in a while.

SexySeaBass82: Pornhub or Brazzers?

He snickered like a child as he sent the text, grinning like an idiot. He looked back up at the set before him. He had just finished filming an exhausting, yet epic fight scene which he was highly proud of. The dull ache in his muscles let him know ahead of time that he’d be feeling everything tonight.

Princess97: You perv! pornhub is where the mula is.

SexySeaBass82: I think it’s safe to say that I’d be your biggest fan, doll face.

Princess97: You know what I just realized?

Sebastian cackled as he typed his witty reply and hit the send button with lightning speed.

SexySeaBass82: That I’m daddy material? ;)

Princess97: No, that you’re probably older than electricity.

SexySeaBass82: I know you can’t see it, but I’m giving you the middle finger right now. (:

He set his phone down as soon as he saw Anthony and Jeremy making their way over to him. The two men were arguing about which character could take who. Of course, Anthony was convinced Falcon could destroy Hawkeye, but Jeremy was having none of it.

“All I’d have to do is shoot you out of the sky!”

“Not before Red Wing gets his sights on you!”

Sebastian fought the urge to laugh at the two as they stood in front of him. “Seb, tell him the truth before I do.” Anthony reasoned. Jeremy snorted, taking a sip from his water bottle. He’d never say it out loud, but Sebastian was a huge fan of Hawkeye, and when it came down to it, he felt Falcon would take a beating from the archer.

“Nope!” he held up his hands in defense. “I’m not taking any part of this! I’m like Bucky, completely innocent.”

Before any of them could reply, Sebastian’s text tone went off, causing the three men to jump and peer down at his phone. His phone, which was glowing, the text showing the following words:

Princess97: I wonder what else you can give me. ;)

“Oh, damn!” Anthony cackled as he snatched the phone from the chair. “Who is Princess97?”

Sebastian immediately shot up from his seat and wrestled the phone out of the man’s hand. Jeremy bent over, his hands on his knees as he cackled loudly. He would never let this go, Sebastian was sure of it. One sentence, and the entire cast would know of his little flirty texting buddy.

“None of your damn business!” he spat, placing his phone in his pocket.

“Ninety seven doesn’t stand for the actual year, does it?” Anthony teased, elbowing Jeremy as they roared with laughter.

“Hey Seb,” Jeremy chimed in. “What kind of formula do you give her?”

The two men burst into hysterics, catching the eyes of several crew members. Usually, Sebastian would have laughed along, but instead, he felt his face heating up with embarrassment. You weren’t that young. Hell, there’s a lot of people who talk to younger people, so what was the deal? You were of legal age, which was totally fine. Then again, his mom would probably give him a slap if she found out he was flirting with a nineteen year old.

“For your information,” he sassed, sitting back into his seat. “She’s really hot. Get with the winning team, guys.”

“Who’s hot?”

The three men turned around to see a very exhausted Chris in his stealth suit. He scratched the back of his head lazily as he peered between the men curiously.

“Sebastian here’s got himself some jailbait.” Jeremy spoke before taking off towards his trailer before Sebastian could catch him. Chris furrowed his brows as he looked over at his friend. This was absolutely not how he planned this to get out.

“What’s all this talk about jailbait?” he asked as he took the seat beside him. Seb groaned and placed his head in his hands.

“It’s literally all lies,” he told him. “She’s perfectly legal, just a bit younger.”

“How young?” Chris asked, his brow raising in disappointment.

“Nineteen.” Sebastian answered after a long silence.

“Oh thank goodness,” Chris breathed dramatically, placing his hand over his left boob once again. “I thought you meant she was young.”

“She is young.” He admitted. “Fifteen years.”

Chris let out a snort as he pulled out his phone. “Well, Seabass,” he sung as he unlocked his phone.

Make sure you burp her after feeding her, m’kay?” he teased before sprinting off as fast as he could in the same direction Jeremy ran in. 

Sebastian sighed, sinking into his seat.

What on earth was he going to do with these idiots?


You were snuggled on your sofa, scrolling through your Tumblr dashboard, when you heard the theme song of one of your favorite TV shows being to play. It was The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. You loved that guy more than anything, he could always cheer you up when you felt down. 

“Good evening folks, our guest tonight is the one and only…Sebastian Stan!” 

Immediately, your ears perked up at the name. That was the actor Sebastian was in love with. Your head cocked to the side as you realized the two men had the same first names. You shrugged, it was probably a coincidence, right? 

“Here’s your tea, Y/N!” your roommate chimed as she handed you a matching mug. You gave her a quick smile before returning your gaze to the TV. 

“So Sebastian,” Stephen said. “I understand you and Anthony Mackie are quite the duo on set.” You found your eyes focused on the actor’s face, taking in his features. You understood why Sebastian was obsessed with this guy. He was freaking gorgeous. And that jawline -man, that looked like it could cut diamonds. And those steel blue eyes! He was a total babe. 

“Yeah, we’ve grown pretty close these past few months. We even gave each other nicknames.” Stan said as he giggled, his face turning a deep red. 

“Oh? Do share these nicknames, Sebastian!” Stephen mused, earning a bunch of cheers from the crowd, mostly from women. 

You took a sip of your tea, your eyes set on the blue eyed man on the screen as he said the following words. 

“Well, he likes to call me Sexy Sea Bass.” 

The tea in your mouth sprayed all over the screen in front of you, even landing on your roommate’s lap as well as yours. She let out a shriek before jumping out of her seat and pointing an accusing finger at you. 

“What the fuck, Y/N?” she exclaimed, her face twisting into a scowl. 

You stared at the screen, your eyes completely wide with distraught as the man repeated the nickname for a second time. 

“Yeah man, I’m telling you,” he laughed along with Stephen.

 “He calls me Sexy Sea Bass!”

-Fin!

Tag list of super awesome people!

@sebbylover24 @softwintersoldier @ballerinafairyprincess @harrisbn @gingerbatchwife @abigailredgrave @adrianabribiescacortes @sheriwallace123 @the-lazy-leprechaun @theunknownangel62 @abovethesmokestacks @diana-daydreamer @amrita31199 @jezzula @loricameback @sebbyismyking @jamesbarnesblog @claryfray1698 @twinklingstarlight @netflixa @tatortot2701 @winterboobaer @ihavetwobuckystomyname @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @melconnor2007 @kaitskennedyy @kaykayvoltage53 @livforthegames @dracu-ma-bucky @shieldagentofthemonth @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @buckybarnesbestbabe @witheringblooddemon @lostinspace33 @jenna-luke @bellaballanda @confuzzled-panda @astralbarnes @38leticia @davinaciaire @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @marveloussssworld @christynjay @mizzzpink @nottheopera @beebossinner @meganlane84 @adrianabribiescacortes @chou-maitresse @permanent-lines @the-winter-avengerrrrr @dontsassmecastiel @jeylockley @i-am-amora-the-enchantress @addictivewriter @sebbeanstan @gerardwayisapotato

If I forgot to tag you, or your tag isn’t working, pls let me know (i promise you won’t be a bother!)

Also, if I tagged you in the wrong fics, pls let me know as well!

Tags for this series are closed babez ;(

Today, I fucked up... by thinking my friend was Satan for several years

Ok, so this fuck up actually occurred between 5th and 6th grade. I’m 25 now and this is still easily the biggest fuck up of my life…so far.

When I was in elementary, I made friends with a boy on the playground named Stan. Stan was a good kid. He was smart, loved to play, listened to his parents; you know, all the good stuff. Well right around that time, the Catholic church my family had been going to for several years brought in a new priest. This guy was one of those fire and brimstone type guys. You know, the kind of guy that would stand in the quad of his local state college screaming at the harlots and Jezebels walking by. This priest pretty much rewrote the Sunday School curriculum to put the fear of God into his children. Needless to say, my education in faith changed from learning about the Golden Rule and being kind to others to learning what Satan would do to me if I touched my ‘Holy Place’. That is the first time I had heard of this guy, Satan. I had learned about the Devil, lucifer, Adam, and Eve, but not this mean guy Satan. Now, you’re probably thinking to yourself “The Devil, Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub - they’re all the same being!” Yes, you are right. But to a very young child who’s only interaction with any of these names is in the antagonist of stories, I didn’t make the connection they were the same. Keep in mind, my previous priest was amazing. He understood that you can’t put fear into children and worked diligently to help us find the beauty within our own faith. This new guy was different. He wanted you to know early and often who and what Satan was. Unfortunately for me, I apparently had some sort of ADD/ADHD/Dyslexia (I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention) and confused the word Satan with Stan.

As you can imagine, I was very confused. How could Stan, such a good guy and friend, hurt people? The thought terrified me. From that moment forward I feared any wrongdoing in front of Stan as I thought he would punish me. I actively avoided him at school, to the point in which we stopped being friends. I kept my eye on him from a distance…just waiting to see what horrible things he would do to people. I never told my parents about why Stan and I stopped being friends and I assume they didn’t notice. This continued for a few years, until the summer between 5th and 6th grade. Stan and I ran into each other at our local pool. As I walked through the front gate our eyes met and I went white. My parents recognized Stan and his family and immediately went over there to socialize, forcing me to actually talk with him. That’s when it happened: Stan asked me why I don’t play with him anymore. So many emotions exploded at that moment and I shouted, in front of his family, “Because you hurt people who do bad things!” My parents, his parents, hell half of the pool just stared at us. All was quiet until my mother cleared her throat and asked me where I had heard that. “Mom, Reverend Endofdays said Stan punishes people who do bad things!” Everyone just stared at me, blankly. “Honey…[Long Pause]…I think you mean Satan.” It took several minutes, but I realized the extent of my fuck up. For several years I had been operating under the assumption that my friend was the King of Hell.

Fast forward a few years, Stan and I are still pretty close friends. Though he moved away after highschool, we still joke about this incident.

TL;DR: I thought my friend Stan was Satan for several years. I was wrong.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.