why do i not have a boyfriend

self control (part 2) - steve harrington

Steve Harrington x Reader

part one

Warnings: inner conflict i guess??

Summary: You’re finding it harder and harder to resist Steve.

A/N: Part two ya’ll! I’m pretty proud of how this turned out. I know it’s A LOT shorter than part one but I think I like it like this. I appreciate everyone’s feedback and support - I love hearing from you guys! :D Keep telling me what you guys like or don’t like, I love it. 

Not my gif, credit to the owner


Originally posted by frayclary

Monday morning rolled around and you were still all torn up.

Steve had really screwed everything up, and despite the fact he called to apologize, you were still angry. You were angry at him for not controlling his temper, you were angry at Tommy for being such a jackass, but mostly you were angry at yourself for letting your guard down. You knew better than to let Steve in, to fall for him. Yet here you were, having spent the entire weekend thinking about him, and you felt like someone had ripped your whole body in half.

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Save Me: Chapter 2

A/N: I’m really loving the reaction you all have from Chapter 1! 

Catch up HERE!

Tag List: @dangerousvikings / @dani-si / @lupy22 / @rekdreams247 / @mrstheorossix3/ @oddsnendsfanfics / @getinmelanin011 / @titty-teetee / @byzantium-glytch/ @bluearchersstuff / @sodanova / @tinymoonshine / @kirah34 / @laketaj24 / @readsalot73 / @alyhavoc / @capitanostella / @imnotinsanehunny/ @synnersaint / @fuckyeahalexhoghandersen / @actuallyivar / @imaginesmakemyheartsing / @missbrightlyred / @behindthesehazeleyes27 / @ceridwenofwales / @ivars-heathen / @tiyetiye / @connieisland / @actuallyivar/ @axelwolf8109 / @radi0active-thoughts / @weareabunchofheathens

Word Count: 1825

Warnings: Physical Aggression


My hand starts cramping up from the excessive hitting on the punching bag. I was too wound up from the bar to go home so I came to the next best thing: the gym. The feeling of the bag crushing beneath my fist gives me an adrenaline high. The pain it causes the bag and the slight pain it causes my hand has my inner beast howling.

On the outside, I look like your normal, average man. Six feet tall with a muscular build. I take pride in my appearance. Clean shaven face, tailored suits for work, my long hair always pulled back in a man bun. I’m polite, well spoken, and educated in many things. In some eyes, I’m a hero, saving the precious city from the animals that call themselves bank robbers and criminals. It’s my job to lock them up, to slay the monsters in the dark. What most people don’t understand is that I’m a monster. So who’s going to slay me?

I brush off the negative thoughts about myself, stemming from my past and upbringing. I grab the water bottle on the bench and let the cool liquid slide down my throat. I can feel the eyes of the cute brunette that runs the front desk on me. I throw her a wink and I can see her cheeks redden. I wonder what other body parts will redden like that.

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Security Blanket (Michael Clifford)

leather jacket michael can fuck me up


“What do you mean I can’t wear it?” your boyfriend looked at you with a dumbfounded expression.

“You cannot wear a leather jacket to prom, Michael,” you repeated yourself for what felt like the hundredth time.


“You have to look nice!” you rolled your eyes, “Do you think I’m gonna show up wearing jeans and your hoodie? Of course not!”

“This jacket is who I am!” he tugged at the front of it where it was unzipped.

“You know,” you laughed bitterly, “I personally find it hilarious that you of all people need to be wrapped up in a security blanket to feel good about yourself.”

“I don’t need to be,” he grumbled.

“Then don’t wear it to prom.”

I’m wearing it to prom, Y/N,” he stated firmly, letting you know he wasn’t going to budge.

“Fine,” you shrugged, “Then don’t go at all.” You got up from your seat, causing Michael’s arm to fall off your shoulders.

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emtweire1 replied to your post: So… It seems Jim is planning everything? What am I…

Hey Sebastian, who’s Charlie? Is he single or at least up for “fun” night with a pretty redhead Nurse?

Charlie is a friend from my University times. Son of an aspiring politician who ended up not following into his father’s footsteps but instead went to do his own thing. Now he works for ‘The Government’ after all just in a very different way. He has a boyfriend (sort of I guess?) but he’s always up for fun as far as I know. Heavy duty flirt, likes to go clubbing and just have a good time in general. He’d definitely be up for a ‘fun night’. He tried flirting with Jim once. Failed badly of course. That’s the main reason why Jim isn’t exactly fond of him, heh.

I’m so tired of reading fics where Alec tries apologizing again about the soul sword and Magnus goes oh, nooes precious baby, dont apologize, you didnt do anything wrong, it was ME, I made a MISTAKE because I was omg, EMOTIONAL AND HURT WHICH PREVENTED ME FROM SEEING THE TRUTH 

which is apparently that Alec was tots right and Magnus should have just stayed quietly by his side like a good little wif- I mean warlock, and let the Man™ do the work. Or something.

Like damn. Why is it so hard to see the situation for what it was even months after it happened? It’s literally a choice between staying with his (racist) boyfriend and have his entire race and several others die with 100% certainty and leave said boyfriend for a chance, however small, to save all those people.

That’s what it is. Literally. It’s this goddamn simple:

Alec + certain death vs No Alec + not certain death

And yet, there are still arguments that Magnus did the wrong thing and should apologize for huwting pwecious baby Alec’s feewings. Gah. What was he supposed to do then? I’m genuinely asking. What was he supposed to do in order to prevent the genocide of his entire species apart from accepting the help of the only person who a) even bothered to offer any and b) was actually capable of following through on her word?

And no matter how HURT (from being slightly ignored that one time, must have been so painful, damn) Alec was, given the situation, his feelings are not as important as the death of millions of people. I’m sorry but they just arent.

Long-Distance Surprise

A/N: An anon request for a Hotch x Male Reader where the reader is in the army and comes back to surprise him and Jack. 



“Y/N? How are you? Where are you? Why are you calling me? Have you called Hotch yet?”

Y/N laughed at his boyfriend’s eager friend and colleague. “Calm down. I’m on my home, but it’s a surprise for Aaron’s birthday. I want to surprise him and Jack. Can you help me?”

“Can I help you? Ummm…do you know me? I am the queen of surprises. I shall rain down surprises on top of his perfectly coiffed hair and bespoke suit. Yes, I can help you.”

Garcia was the queen. Y/N had to give her that.

“Okay, so I have this idea…”


After getting off the phone with Y/N, Garcia went into overdrive, secretly inviting everyone on the team to a surprise party for Hotch - before she had a venue. “Hey, Rossi!” She beckoned him closer, happily bouncing on her tip toes, her brain buzzing with ideas. “Can I make a little, teeny, tiny request?”

“I’m guessing it’s not so tiny,” he laughed. “What can I do for you, my love?”

Quickly, and as quietly as she could, she told Rossi all about how Y/N was coming home to surprise Hotch. “I want to have a party for his birthday and Y/N will surprise him there, but…I don’t have a venue. Your place? Giant mansion?”

“It’s not the giant.”

“It’s pretty giant. So…?”

“Of course, Penelope. Just let me know what you need.”

With a venue in place, and everyone on the team notified (and threatened to keep quiet), she got to planning decorations and food and music; there would be playlists of all kinds, streamers would be hanging from every post and tree limb imaginable and there would be all kinds of food…and alcohol, there definitely had to be some alcohol.

And then the day came. 

It was Hotch’s birthday. He hated celebrating his birthday, but his friends and teammates always managed to pull a smile from him. “You went a little overboard?” Hotch smiled, watching as Penelope grimaced and gave a firm thumbs up.

“Yes, but how could I do anything less for our fearless leader?” She happily wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in for a bear hug. As she looked around, she took in her handy work; it was a beautiful day out, so everything was outside. Hanging from every tree limb and place that something could be hung were varying shades of blue and orange streamers (Hotch’s favorite colors) bunches of similarly colored balloons, handfuls of colored confetti sprinkled among the grass and a table filled with all types of foods, mostly pigs in a blanket, mac and cheese, and barbecue.

Jack was minding his own business, not paying attention to anything but the food in front of him. He chowed down on a rib and passed one to his dad before he started to play catch with Derek.

A smile spread across his face as he took in the sight of his son having a good time with one of his good friends. Although he didn’t like celebrating his birthday, they (and by they, he meant Garcia) had put in a ton of work on this; if nothing else, he felt loved.

That’s when it dawned on him. Y/N wasn’t here. No, he was off serving the country on the front lines; Aaron was proud of him. But that didn’t mean he didn’t miss him, especially on his birthday. 

Normally, he was good at masking his emotions, but Garcia caught on immediately. “You miss Y/N?” She asked.

“Yea,” he replied quickly, his clipped speech telling her without any more words that he didn’t want to talk about it in depth. “But thank you for everything. I do love you, Penelope.”

She blushed so brightly it looked like her cheeks could pop. “I love you, too, Sir. Oh yay!”

His head snapped to where Garcia was looking. Emerging from the corner was a giant box. “What the hell is that?”

She did a triple take between him and the box. “It’s from us!”

“Penelope, you’ve done enough!” His soft smile warmed her heart; she knew something he didn’t - for once.

Jack ran up to the box and knocked on it, trying to figure out what might be inside even though he knew it wasn’t for him. “Daddy, what is it?”

“I have no idea,” he said, scooping up the young boy. “But your aunts and uncles got it for me…which they shouldn’t have.”

“Open it! Open it!” Jack cried.

Behind him, his teammates were smiling from ear-to-ear, but he couldn’t pinpoint what might be in a box that big. As he approached, he noticed the box was slightly caved in, so there was air inside. It couldn’t be an arcade game, which could come in a box that big, so it had to be something else. He peeled back the box and all of it sudden it was punched with so much force from the inside that he stepped back.

“Hey, babe.”

Jack screamed. “Y/N!”

“Hey, kiddo! How’s my favorite kid ever?”

“I’m good. Are you here to surprise Daddy?”

“Yes I am.”

A speechless Aaron stood still as Y/N approached him, tapping Garcia on the shoulder and thanking her for putting everything together. “You did all this and didn’t spoil the surprise?” He asked. “I’m so proud of you.” He didn’t dare look back at the rest of his friends. There were tears in his eyes that were barely held back.

“Hey, babe,” Y/N repeated. “Surprised?”

A tear rolled down his cheek and he moved into him, placing a tear-stained kiss to his lips. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. I can only stay for a couple days, but I really wanted to be here.”

“I’m glad you are.” Swallowing hard, he leaned into him again and kissed his cheek, planting another one on top of Jack’s head. “And you,” he said, spinning around to find Garcia. “I should yell at you. I hate surprises…but this one isn’t so bad.”

Apparently, Rossi had disappeared right after Y/N made his big entrance, and he came out with a cake. “Everyone!”

A chorus of less-than-melodic happy birthdays started up, making Aaron blush. He never blushed. Y/N pulled him in, taking in the little moment. Aaron was a stoic man, but he had a soft side, and it was a beautiful thing - something he wanted to burn into his brain each time so that he’d have it to look at while he was fighting the fight overseas. 

When the song came to a close, Aaron thanked everyone again. “Really, you shouldn’t have. You though,” he said to Y/N, “I’m more than glad you did. Now who wants ice cream cake?”

Jack nearly punched Y/N in the face he got so excited. “Me!”

“Hey, you didn’t get that excited when I came out of that box, but you get excited for cake?”

“What?” Aaron laughed at the pure innocence on Jack’s face. “It’s ice cream cake!”

@coveofmemories @jamiemelyn @sexualemobitch @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @rmmalta @lukeassmanalvez @the-slytherin-ice-queen

Okay, I have a life hack for you.

Last week, I got attacked by the most painful and persistent hiccups of my life at work. My co-worker heard me hiccuping and said, absently, “Got the hiccups?” and I said miserably, “Yeah.” And she said, “Prove it.”

And I glared at her, because why the fuck should I prove anything to her? And I waited for the next hiccup, which would prove that she was a dick and that I was, indeed, suffering from hiccups. And… that hiccup never came. And she smirked and said, “My daughter calls me whenever she has hiccups and when I ask her to prove it, she never can.”

And that was weird. But later that night, I got hiccups AGAIN, so I said to my boyfriend, “I HAVE HICCUPS.” and he said “Yeah, you do.” And I said, “No, ask me to prove it.” And he gave me a look like I was a crazy person, and I hiccuped again and insisted he ask me to prove it and he did and BAM. I couldn’t do it!

And a few days LATER, I got the hiccups WHILE DRIVING ALONE, and I said, out loud, “DUDE, I have the hiccups.” And then, in another voice, “PROVE IT.” And bam. Couldn’t do it.

The moral of the story? Apparently hiccups are little shits who refuse to perform on command. 

There you go. Hiccup cure. I can’t promise it’ll work for everyone, but so far, it’s worked for me like six times.

You’re welcome.

hc where lotor keeps watching lance and keith’s interactions “are they always like this?” and kolivan appears out of nowhere “you should’ve see them when they were apart. the red paladin won’t stop contacting the blade just to keep in touch. it was maddening” lotor looks back at them and sees lance smiling at keith like he has never seen anyone smile in his whole life “must be nice” he turns to kolivan again “to have someone who loves both halfs of you as a whole

What bothers me the most about the “friendzone” interpretation of Snape, it’s not the mischaracterisation of Snape himself, but the complete lack of understanding what a “friendzone” guy is.

Do you think a friendzoned guy would accept the refusal, yet still be envolved in the well-being of the girl, endanger his life trying to save hers, and then watch over her kid until his very end? Nope, the friendzoned guy would have whined, used his pain to touch another girl, got rejected 4546th times until his tragedy becomes the consistency of rejection and not a particular rejection itself, and after her death, would have passed by her ravaged house, rise his fedora, said out loud “this is what you get when you marry assholes” and at the pub he’d have sighed deeply with his boys wondering : “why do women always prefer to get killed by Dark Lords instead of dating Nice Guys” and all the boys would have nodded because it happened to four of them so that’s the proof, women just prefer get killed in wars, how strange yet fascinating creatures, so mysterious, so killable. 

CLYDE: So, as you may know, I kinda didn’t post much about the sleep over last night.

CLYDE: It got kinda crazy. But then not as crazy and we got like pizza and stuff and it was awesome.

CLYDE: But, the part that was crazy was all really, really crazy.

CLYDE: So basically, everybody agreed to prank Craig cause it was a fucking hilarious idea and everybody knew it. So Jimmy, Timmy, and I urged him downstairs while Tweek and Token were gonna help scare him downstairs.

CLYDE: When we all got down there, we all had spooky ghost costumes on and he at least blinked a little bit so I call that an accomplishment.

CLYDE: But then????? Like??? Tweek wasn’t there for some reason????????

CLYDE: And everybody was confused?????????????? Especially me??????????????????????????????????????????????????

CLYDE: And so we went looking for him and…

CLYDE: Craig, I guess, found him. But…

CRAIG: Oh Tweek, are you in this closet that nobody has bothered to look in yet?

CRAIG: If you are, don’t say anything and I’ll open it up and find you, hiding inside.


CRAIG: whoa–




CLYDE: Should.

CLYDE: Should we open it–

CRAIG: Ah! Oh no!

CRAIG: I’ve been brutally murdered by my beloved boyfriend, Tweek.

CRAIG: Why, Tweek?

CRAIG: What have I done to deserve this?

CRAIG: I’m dead now, covered in blood.

CRAIG: blehgfhfgfh


CLYDE: What the.

TOKEN: Is he… actually dead?

CLYDE: I don’t know…

CLYDE: He’s got his tongue out and his eyes closed, he’s gotta be!

TOKEN: Oh my god– Tweek?!



TOKEN: How is there so much blood!




TOKEN: …It does kinda smell like tomatoes in here, dude.

CLYDE: Yeah I thought blood smelled more like… like pennies or something?

TOKEN: Yeah, ‘cause blood has iron.

CLYDE: Bro you’re so smart.

CRAIG: You know, I’m supposed to be dead here. I’d hate to see you guys at my funeral if this is how you’d act.


CLYDE: Turns out they just pulled a prank on US.

CLYDE: Tweek knew that WE were gonna pull a prank on CRAIG, but him and Craig already planned to prank all of us!

CLYDE: It didn’t even work on Jimmy and Timmy because they couldn’t get up the stairs!

CLYDE: And before any of you ask, I was so totally not scared by it.

CLYDE: I basically unshat myself. There was shit ALREADY in my pants, and it went up into my ass because I was just that not scared.


CLYDE: Anyways, none of us saw that coming, so I guess that was funny.

klance bedtime headcanons

time to be soft™ bc this fandom is going wild rn and this was in my drafts so why not

  • keith “i don’t like physical contact” kogane ?? the cuddliest sleepy boy
  • likes to bury his nose in the crook of lance’s neck and just kinda breathe in real steady bc lance always smells good (he smells like home & cinnamon and coconut shampoo and boy)
  • lance gives so many little sleepy kisses..,,,kissing keith’s forehead and his cheeks and his eyelids and his nose !! boop!!
  • before bedtime lance always has to do is nighttime routine and one night he’s doing his face mask and Keith is like “what the hell is that stuff anyway” and lance gasps like !!! why keith…,,you must experience this
  • so lance takes keith through his whole nighttime routine and keith finds he actually….,,really likes the self care, it’s super calming and gentle and he likes the texture of the face mask on his skin it feels smooth and gooey and cold and he likes it
  • side note: keith’s skin begins to clear and glow beautifully bc he’s now doing the same routine as lance and lance is so proud of himself like “yeah, that’s my pretty boyfriend, look at this, i did that”
  • obviously keith has a plushie hippo but also have you considered lance having a plushie shark …,.they both need their buddies to get to sleep
  • one year for lance’s birthday pidge made lance a device that could simulate like calm nature noises so sometimes they’ll fall asleep to the sound of the ocean or rain and it’s bittersweet bc it’s so calming but also makes lance a little homesick. mostly though it just helps them both fall asleep
  • keith snores and not even in a cute way it’s loud and obnoxious but lance doesn’t give a shit he loves every single thing about keith so he learns to live with it and maybe turn the ocean sounds up a little louder flsoskdlsmsksj
  • they both love to spoon and switch off with big spoon and little spoon pretty consistently. some nights keith really needs to be held, or some nights lance really needs to be held. either way they just love being close together
  • lance is a blanket hog and it’s Rude™
  • sometimes after long missions they both just collapse in bed right away and curl up together and knock the fuck out
  • also sometimes in the morning lance will wake up with Keith’s entire leg slung over his stomach and he looks over to see keith somehow ended up laying horizontal on the bed and what the fuck keith
  • lance usually wakes up first and sometimes he tickles keth to wake him up and keith giggles but is also like “i hate you, you heathen” and throws a pillow at his head
  • sometimes when keith has nightmares and can’t seem to calm down or fall back asleep lance will hold him and hum something sweet and his voice is really pretty and keith will just. knock right out seconds later
  • baby boys they’re so cute bye
rivals to lovers starters

as requested. feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

  • “I’m going to kis–kick your ass!”
  • “You can’t sleep with him/her/them! You’ll get your heart broken–and then I’ll automatically win, and that’s no fun.”
  • “I’m considering letting you win…”
  • “If you lose, you have to do anything I want.”
  • “Stop squirming! You can’t beat me if you have a cut like that.”
  • “I’d do anything to……win.”
  • “How did you trip over thin air, dumbass?! Be quiet, I’ll carry you somewhere.”
  • “I challenge you to a duel! With my tongue/mouth.”
  • “I bet I can kiss better than you can!”
  • “Wow, you’re really dumb…PFFT…bet you won’t take off your shirt…chicken.”
  • “I can’t believe I have to share a room with you before our competition.”
  • “Try to beat MY handholding skills.”
  • “Contest: whoever comes up with the most ways to say ‘I love you’ wins.”
  • “Ha! You’re definitely the fastest.”
  • “Scared, ___?”
  • “I was joking…why would you actually try to jump over that fence?”
  • “Don’t do anything stupid!”
  • “FINE. If you win, I’ll go out/sleep/make out with you.”
  • “You have about as much of a chance at winning as you do of getting a kiss from me.”
  • “I don’t want to lose to anyone else but you!”
  • “If you get it right, I’ll let you take a break.”
  • “Are you too scared to skinny dip?!”
  • “Think you can handle my thoughtful love notes?! You’re in for a shocker.”
  • “I’ve always spent so much time practicing/studying/exercising/etc. that I’ve never had a real boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other before.”
  • “For a newbie, you’re kinda cute.”
  • “Hey, stop with the puppy eyes! I won fair and square.”
  • “No, YOU’RE the cutest.”
  • “Time for a staring contest! I’m totally the king/queen/ruler of them.”
  • “Can we end practice? It’s really hot in here.”
  • “Oh you wanna trash talk huh? Well-uh–your lips–a-are really soft-looking–”
  • “If I win, you get to be my prize.”
I’m only 18

Originally posted by hopeinloveinfinity


Request: Can you do a oneshot where the reader is an avenger and 18, she meets the team and the guys are being super flirty with her but have no idea that’s she is 18 and when they find out, they’re embarrassed about flirting with her :). Sorry if this super specific and long

Warning: No?

Being the new avenger was exciting. I had been able to shape shift into any person or animal that I wanted to since I was 5 years old. I scared my mother the day I turned into a dog. She could move things with her mind and she wasn’t sure of what I could do until the day we were eating dinner and I decided to act like a dog and turned into one. 

Since then, I would do small things like tricking my friends or I would turn into a bird and fly away. Like Spider-Man, I decided to use it for good. What really caught the public’s eye, was the day a grizzly bear stopped a gas station robbery. That same day Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff showed up at my house. They explained to me and my mother that they wanted me to join the avengers. Naturally, my mother put up a fight and said I was too young, but I am 18 so legally I can go. Waving goodbye to my mother 6 months later and I was officially part of the team. 

“You should turn into a cat, then when the team crowds around, turn into yourself.” Tony suggested. 

“I can’t” I laughed at him, “When I shape shift, My clothes don’t change with me so I can’t turn back until I’m in my room, usually.” 

“We’ll see about that.” He started thinking to himself. 

“Guys this is y/n” Nat called out t the team.

“Hello” I waved to everyone “I know who you all are already, I read the file.” 

“Nice to meet you” Steve shook my hand. “We didn’t hear much about you, it was suppose to be a surprise.” 

I smiled, looking around the room at the team. I noticed Sam, Bucky, Thor, Peter, and Steve were looking me up and down. I met Sam’s eyes and he winked at me and gave a slow nod of admiration. Bucky looked away quickly, Steve also winked, Thor smirked at me and then walked away, and Peter quickly turned around and started a conversation with Wanda. I noticed Clint and Bruce were watching the same thing I was and looked at me and then the guys and shook their heads. 

Originally posted by chrisandchips

Once everything was finally settled, I made my way to the kitchen to get a small snack, I had finally finished unpacking. I was searching for a snack when I hear someone speak up behind me.

“Nickle for your thoughts?” Steve spoke calmly

“I’m pretty sure it’s penny.” I laughed at him

“I just think your thoughts are worth more” he smiled, raising an eyebrow.

“Really?” I rolled my eyes “That’s so lame” 

“What?” He moved a tad bit closer leaning on the counter. “I just wanted to start a conversation.” He chuckled. 

“So start” I reached for the box of cheez-its, but it was too far up. Steeve reached up above my head and grabbed it. I couldn’t help but look at his bicep. Quickly looking down when our eyes met.

“Like what you see?” Steve smirked “There’s more underneath.” 

I blushed at first and then realized, he is old, I’m still 18 and I don’t think he knows that. Instead of telling him, I laughed at him and walked away. 

Originally posted by dailyteamcap

The next person to talk to me was Sam Wilson. I had wandered into the theater room and put a movie in. Sam saw this and wanted to join.

“Can I join you?” He asked as I made my self comfortable on the love-seat, taking up most to the small couch. 

“Sure if you can fit” I joked, moving my legs slightly.

“I played tetris as a kid.” He smirked at me coming closer to the couch.

“Your point?” I asked slightly confused.

“I can make it fit.” He winked at me. I didn’t even react, I just had a straight face and I realized that he didn’t know my age as well, and just like Steve I didn’t tell him. 

Originally posted by tbholland

Peter Parker approached me the next day, as I made my way to the kitchen, he tapped my arm.

“Morning y/n” He greeted me with a warm smile.

“Mornin’ Pete” I smiled back. He followed me into the kitchen. 

“Hey y/n,” He got my attention back to him “Can you feel my shirt?”

“Excuse me?” I asked, confused. 

“I’m serious” He held out the bottom of his shirt and I touched the soft fabric.

“What about it?” I was still confused.

“Does it feel like boyfriend material?” I asked seriously. I laughed at him as my cheeks slightly turned red.

“Absolutely not” Tony cut in “Not allowed.” 

Originally posted by little--batman

“Why do guys have to be such jerks?” My friend Andrea spoke to me on the phone. I had her on speaker while me, Wanda and Nat sat in the living room.

“I know how you feel Ann. What we need is a genie” I joked. “Three wishes would be nice.” 

“That would help a lot actually” Nat joined

“What’s one thing you would wish for?” Wanda asked “ I would wish for world peace. Typical I know.”

“I’ll have to think about that.” Andrea said on the phone. 

“Ditto” Nat spoke up, thinking quietly.

“I would wish for the perfect guy” I joked, earning a small chuckle from Nat.

“Here I am.” Bucky stood in front of us “What are your other two wishes?”

I couldn’t handle this anymore. I had to tell them how old I was before this got worse. I found it funny but I can’t be this cruel.

“Hey guys” I spoke up walking into the kitchen causing everyone to look at me “I have done some thinking.. Some of you, not naming who, have tried to flirt with me.” all the guys looked at each other. “As flattering as that is, I think you should know something about me, and maybe this will make you rethink some things.” I tried to fight the smile forming on my face. “I’m only 18.” 

Originally posted by you-didnt-see-that-cuming

Every single guy, except for Peter, Tony, Bruce, Clint, and Vision, went pale. They froze and looked at each other.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US BEFORE” Sam yelled, obviously embarrassed.

“I thought it was funny” I laughed at them

“I already knew that” Peter winked at me

“Lady y/n” Thor looked up from the ground “ I wasn’t sure of your age so I didn’t say anything, but I did not expect that” 

“I feel horrible” Steve apologized. Bucky couldn’t bring himself to say anything as he continued to stare at the ground.

There was a long awkward silence as we slowly continued our business. 

“Wait, You guys hit on her?” Tony raised his voice.

self-control (part 1) - steve harrington

Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings: Angst, some light cursing.

Summary: You’re in charge of homecoming but you don’t have a date.

A/N: OK, honestly I’m so proud of this you guys. It was like ten pages on a google docs. I hope you like it. I know a lot of people want a part 2 to twist of fate, and that will most likely happen pretty soon! But I want to do this as a series as well so we’ll see. Anyway, hope you all like it. I love the feedback, by the way, so tell me what you think!

Gif is not mine, belongs to the owner.

Originally posted by nwetss

The sound of the phone ringing woke you up. Startled, you ran a hand through your hair and looked around before registering where you were. Home. In bed. Things were normal again, right?

Wrong. It was two a.m and the phone was ringing. Why did your parents agree to get you your own line? You quickly flicked on your bedside lamp and then picked up the receiver. “Hello?” You mumbled barely coherently, slowly sitting up in bed.

“Y/N?” It was Steve. You could tell by the way he pronounced your name. Just slightly different than everyone else did. Like it had more meaning coming from his mouth.

You let out a long yawn. “Yeah, Steve. It’s me. What’s going on? Why are you calling me at-“ you glanced over at the clock on your night stand. “Two thirteen in the morning?”

“I haven’t been able to sleep at all,” he said, and you could hear the tiredness in his voice, all groggy and deeper than usual. “Let me apologize. Let me make it up to you. I fucked up, okay-“

“Fucked up is putting it lightly,” you cut him off, your words sharp like daggers. “I don’t want to talk to you about it. Especially not now.”

Steve sighed on the other line. You could almost picture him running a hand through his hair. You hated that you knew him that well. “Go to sleep, Harrington,” You said, and didn’t wait for a response before hanging up the phone.

You tried to go back to sleep but your mind kept drifting back to a few days ago, when everything starting going to shit.

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anonymous asked:

Fine! If we can't talk about Clyde ruining Tweeks love confession and Craig ignoring that fact, why don't we talk about the BROTP. Craig, why haven't you been hanging out with Clyde? He's a sad boi.

CRAIG: What?

CRAIG: Dude I got trapped in the mountains with him yesterday, AND we had a sleep over a couple hours later.

CRAIG: And the day before that I was hanging out at his house, too.

CRAIG: Uh, he blogged all of it?

CRAIG: Clyde, are you actually sad or are these people just fucking with you?

CLYDE: [sssssighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghghghfhg]

CLYDE: No… they’re right.

CLYDE: I was sad today because you didn’t want to hang out.

CRAIG: Well I was sorta busy?

CLYDE: Yeah, but you didn’t say why. 

CRAIG: I didn’t think you wanted to know why that badly.

CLYDE: Yeah, but… lately you’ve been hanging out with Tweek way more than you have with me and it’s bringing me to major bummed out town, not gonna lie.

CRAIG: But… we’re hanging out now?

CLYDE: Yeah but… but…

CLYDE: I feel like I’m losing you as a BFF, bro…

CLYDE: We used to hang out so much and I guess I’m just getting emotional today, b-because we hung out so much in the last few days and I thought maybe we’d start hanging out a whole bunch again but then– then you said you were busy and didn’t even tell me why, and then you started posting pictures of you and Tweek hanging out and having fun and, and–

CLYDE: It hurt my feelinggggggggggggs…

CRAIG: Is this why you tried to beat up Tweek? Jesus christ, dude!

CLYDE: No I know it was soooo dumb and I’m a huge jerk but I thought it was a great idea when I did it cause… cause I don’t really know why but, but…

CRAIG: Dude.

CLYDE: [sniffle] What, dude?

CRAIG: I didn’t mean to make you feel like you were being shoved away.

CRAIG: I’ve just needed to make time for more than just you. Cause, hate to break it to you dude, but dating someone kind of means you have to hang out with them at least sometimes.

CLYDE: Why couldn’t you j-just tell me you were hanging– hanging out with Tweek today, then, bro…? :(

CRAIG: ‘Cause I didn’t think you were interested in hearing about that kind of shit, dude!

CRAIG: Like, do you know how lame it is to talk about your boyfriend to your best friend all the time?

CRAIG: Especially when it’s your gay boyfriend!

CRAIG: That’s like, super gay!

CLYDE: It is…

CRAIG: You’re still my best friend, dude. Nothing’s changed.

CLYDE: B-bro…

CRAIG: Here, come on dude. Let’s hug it out. I know how much you like hugs.

CLYDE: Bro, I do like hugs, bro!

CRAIG: God, you’re such a crybaby.

CLYDE: [sniffle] F-fuck you. I love you dude.

CRAIG: I love you too dude.

CRAIG: Come on, I think my mom’s just about here. She can take you home so you don’t have to walk in the dark with no shirt on.

CRAIG: Still don’t know why you took it off in the first place.

BTS Scenario | Fight [One]

A/N: Hi guys! It’s Admin Sunshine, thank you for supporting me. I’ll be re-posting my reactions & scenarios on my blog.

PS: All of my reactions/scenarios and fictions will be fixed and there will be new things added in.

Requested from Anonymous.

Warnings: Angst

One | Two

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sidthedarklord  asked:

“You forgot to say the magic word” For Drarry. (Also, you’re fantastic, I’ve said before. Hugs)

Thank you, love, I hug you too! ❤️

This is also for nonnie who requested fluff with this line!

“Hey.” Harry looms over Draco’s desk out of nowhere. “Got any mail for me?”

Draco glances up, lip curled. “You forgot to say the magic word,” he says irritably, “Minister Potter,” he adds impertinently.

There’s only a soft snort of amusement and a terribly fond smile in return.

“Could I please have my mail, Draco?” Harry asks politely, and Draco is even more annoyed. Because now he doesn’t have a retort.

So he hands Harry the little pile of his mail and scowls at the charming wink he receives before watching Harry march into his office.

Draco waits, and it’s less than a minute before the little intercom next to him buzzes. “A word, if you please, Draco?”

Grabbing his notepad and his Self-Inking quill, Draco gets to his feet, pausing only to check his hair in the reflection on the window, and then makes his way inside, shutting the door behind himself.

Harry is in his ostentatious chair behind his ostentatious desk in his ostentatious office. He’s sitting hunched over a letter, scribbling away furiously with his official robes of office thrown over the back of the chair. When Draco walks in, he looks up immediately, pushes his glasses up his nose and grins.

“Hello, love.”

“What d'you want?” Draco asks in a monotone, crossing his arms and looking away haughtily.

Harry sighs sadly. “I know I said I’d take my lunch with you today but–”

“But the Belgian Minister for Magic obviously gets precedence over me, I know that, Harry,” Draco says smoothly. “It would’ve been nice if you’d simply given me a little heads up about it, that’s all. If not as your boyfriend, then as your PA.”

“It was a sudden thing,” Harry says anxiously. “Why else would you not have known about it? You know about all my appointments even before I do!”

Draco sniffs again, pouting just because. “Yes, alright, I know. It’s fine.”

“Come here.”

Draco complies at once, although he does roll his eyes pointedly before he throws aside his notepad and sinks sideways across Harry’s lap, hooking his knees over the arm of the chair and letting one foot bounce idly.

Harry peppers kisses over his face, mouth lingering at his temple and cheek and under his ear. “I’m going to make it up to you,” he murmurs, one hand gently stroking up and down Draco’s thigh.

“That won’t be necessary,” Draco tells him. He lets Harry nuzzle his ear for a moment before, “How?” he blurts out.

Harry smiles against his neck. “I thought we could grab a Private Portkey to Paris tonight…?” Harry starts a line of moist little kisses down the side of his throat. “Have dinner at that pretentious place you never shut up about…?”

“Yeah?” Draco sounds decidedly breathy.

“Mmm…” Harry pulls aside the stiffly starched collar of Draco’s robes, lapping at the skin that appears, flushed pink now. “Then maybe check into that penthouse suite we got last time?”

“Oh, that’ll do,” Draco mumbles, turning to kiss him helplessly. “That’ll do very nicely indeed.” He grins, sweet and oddly shy as Harry chuckles and holds him tighter to his chest. “All this because I sulked for five minutes?”

“Yeah.” Harry pecks a little kiss to his nose, his smile besotted and completely hopeless. “Another five minutes and I’d have written to the Belgian Minister to come apologise to you.”

“Damn it. I knew I should’ve held off a bit longer.”

“Happy Anniversary, love.”

Draco snorts, smiling into Harry’s hair. “Two years. You fed up yet, Minister Potter?”

Harry discreetly pushes the little ring box in his pocket deeper inside. “You wish, Malfoy.”


The Year of Cardi B - She went from stripping to becoming the breakout star of 2017. So what’s she worried about?

Cardi B is butt-naked in the doorway of her hotel bathroom, yelling about her vagina. On a mid-October evening, she’s readying herself for a college show in Baltimore, and the toiletries provided by the hotel aren’t to her liking. “That soap gave me the yeast infection of 2017!” she hollers in her thick Bronx accent. “My pussy was burnin’ like a Mexican taco!”

It takes all of 10 seconds in Cardi B’s presence to be reminded of the sheer force and hilarity of her personality. Simply being Cardi B, at maximum volume, made her a star – first on Instagram, then on the VH1 reality show Love & Hip-Hop: New York – before she’d recorded any music at all, let alone knocked Taylor Swift from the top of the pop charts with the sly swagger of her single “Bodak Yellow.” She is the people’s diva – or “the strip-club Mariah Carey,” as she once rapped – unfiltered in a way the world often doesn’t allow female stars to be. In a culture reshaped by streaming and social media, where the kids, without much corporate nudging, get to decide who the stars are, Cardi B is what you get.

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