why do i keep saying oi

Another 100 Random RP Starters

- does include some swearing; feel free to edit when sending in an ask to fit character’s speech

  • “No. No, no, no. Don’t you dare try to pin the blame on me.”
  • “Did you even bother to think about the consequences?”
  • “Listen here you useless paperclip!”
  • “Meerkats are murderous little bastards.”
  • “For the record, I hate everything.”
  • “Do you even remember me?”
  • “Did you know the guy who wrote Sherlock Holmes may have killed a man?”
  • “I’m going to join NASA and fling myself into the sun.”
  • “I hope you know what you’re getting into.”
  • “Please don’t. Just… don’t.”

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Dåni is to blame for all of this because she started talking about kittens and how cute everyone was in the clip today. And, well, have a mini fic about Even and Isak playing with kittens (why? who knows) and Sana and Yousef hanging out with them (also again: why? because why not). 

There are five kittens in total, but Isak keeps losing track of them.

This is part of the reason that he and Even invited Sana - and Yousef - over: another pair of eyes and hands to keep the kittens out of trouble is greatly needed. The other reason is that Sana was supposed to come over for studying anyway and then somehow Yousef turned up – in reality to come get her for something or other, but now they’re all sitting on the floor, their hands full of kittens.

Or, well, actually not their hands. The only one that has managed to get a kitten to roll up in her lap is Sana. A tiny ginger fluffball is lying there, lazily nipping at her fingers, but mostly just purring. Sana is staring down at it, a small smile on her face and Isak thinks she looks truly relaxed for the first time. Yousef is stretched out on the floor next to her, completely ignoring the black and white kitten that keeps batting at his hair, instead watching Sana. There’s this look in Yousef’s eyes that Isak recognises from the times when he catches Even looking at him like this in much the same way: wonder and softness intertwining behind his eyes.

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I Had Charts -- a snowbaz fanfic

Special thanks to @bazwearsjeans for sending me the prompt~~~
Also this is my first snowbaz fic omg I hope it’s ok
Prompt: Simon reevaluates how obsessed he was with Baz, before telling said vampire about said obsession.
—-
[Simon]
Penny’s not home. She ran up to the store for some new lights, Baz and me were messing around on the counter and broke them.
Baz doesn’t live with us, but he’s here often enough that I forget it a lot.
I’m in the kitchen. Knowing Baz, he’s probably on the couch. He’s gotten much lazier these days…
[Baz]
I keep forgetting this isn’t my house. I’m here so often that it’s more of a home than my flat with Fiona–Not that she’s around that much anyway.
It’s all because of Snow, isn’t it?
He’s probably in the kitchen.
He spends a lot of his time in there nowadays, trying to teach himself how to cook.
He spends almost the same amount of time cooking as he does taking selfies with me. Honestly, he just steals my phone and poses. There’s got to be at least a thousand pictures on here, none of which are mine.
I can’t stop the smile on my face that forms when I look through them, unfortunately.
[Simon]
Everything reminds me of Baz. Is it because I want to talk to him?
Well, I always want to talk to him. But I don’t want to seem desperate or obsessed.
I mean, I guess it’s okay since he’s my boyfriend.
And it’s not like I haven’t been obsessed with him before.
I used to /stalk/ him for gods sake! Course, that was when I thought he was going to kill me. Now it’s different.
I was kinda stupid for that, wasn’t I? Following him everywhere, tracking and studying his every movement, making sure I knew exactly where he was and what he was doing every second of every day… Obsession doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Suddenly, I want to tell him all this.
Also cuddles. There is a urgent need for cuddles.
[Baz]
I finally come across a picture of Bunce, Snow, Fiona and I at the fair. Fiona is in the background eating cotton candy, and the rest of us are closer to the camera. Snow has his arms around me and Bunce. There’s a bright smile on his face, and anyone could see that I was trying but failing to hide mine.
There’s a few more pictures from that day too, and I start to look through them, when I suddenly feel a weight on top of me.
I already know who it is, he does this often enough.
“Oi, Snow.” I say, not even looking up from my phone.
He weasels his way under my phone to plant a kiss on my chin, and I can’t stop myself from smiling.
“What are you doing?” He asks, looking up at me with those bright blue eyes that I keep getting myself lost in.
“You take to many pictures with my phone.”
“I do?”
“There’s at least a thousand. I don’t even have room for my stuff, because I know you’ll just take more.”
“Why don’t you delete some?”
“I don’t want to.”
He gives me one of his infamous giggles, and my smile widens.
Giving in, I sigh and toss my phone on the table. I rest my arms around him, keeping mindful of his wings.
His eyes seem to sparkle, and I roll mine.
[Simon]
I like moments like this, when it’s just me and Baz. I like looking into his eyes for no reason, and I like planting kisses on his chin.
I like Baz.
It’s funny, really. I used to hate everything about him. I never would have imagined that we would end up like this.
Yet here we are, possibly the cutest couple in the universe.
[Baz]
I’m running my hand through Snow’s hair, when he just starts laughing.
“…Snow?”
“I’m sorry I- I just can’t believe we ended up like this,” he starts. “I always thought we were going to kill each other or something.”
I sigh, agreeing with him. “Yeah, same here.”
“It’s just…It’s so funny,” he chuckles. “I was bloody obsessed with you.”
I cock my eyebrow. Simon Snow, obsessed with me? That caught my attention.
“…You were?”
As soon as those words leave my mouth, he looks at me like I’m the dumbest person he has ever met.
[Simon]
Baz Pitch is the dumbest person I have ever met.
“Seriously? You didn’t notice?”
“Was I supposed to?”
“C'mon, Baz. Everyone knew. They even told me to shut up about you,” I let out a nervous chuckle. “But they knew.”
“Knew what?”
I let out a deep sigh. “Baz, i memorized your schedule when we had different classes. I knew where you went and when you went there. I had /charts/.”
He snorted. “Charts?”
“Okay, so I didn’t actually have charts. Physical ones, at least, but still. Yeah, I avoided you one year and stalked you the next, but I also knew more about you than anyone. I /know/ more about you than anyone.”
I saw him raise an eyebrow, and I giggled. “Everyone thought your eyes were gray, but I’ve known for a while that they have some blue in them. I knew that your fangs poked out whenever you were having a nightmare. I knew that you only drained male rats…”
[Baz]
Snow went on for at least twenty (20) minutes–I kept glancing at the clock–just listing off things he learned about me over the years.
When he realized he was ranting, he stumbled over his words a bit, before going quiet.
I noticed how much he was blushing and now I’m just smiling so much at him.
I can’t believe my boyfriend is such a dork, and I just love him so much.
Brushing my hands through his hair again, I let a small chuckle escape from my mouth.
“You really noticed all that, Snow?”
He let out a series of Um’s and uh’s, before nodding.
I didn’t know how else to react, so I just leaned in and kissed him.

Date - John Shelby

Hello, maybe number 5 and 37, with John, and the reader works for Peaky Blinders and they are secret in love? I love your imagines ❤

“Do you think we’re bad people?” and “I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.”

I’m not entirely happy about this one, but I really want to get back into the routine of posting more frequently, so here goes…


“Hey, everything alright?” John asks as he hands me a few more papers to look through.

“Mhmm,” I mumble wanting desperately to avoid this conversation at work.

“Liar.”

“I’m fine. Honest.”

“Come on… come here,” he says, leading by my elbow to a quiet corner when no-one’s looking. “What’s the matter? You’ve had a face like a slapped arse all day.”

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Thanatos Night Vol. 6 Duran (Full Translation)

This CD made me sad, very sad. Duran isn’t trash in the slightest so if you need something sweet without drowning in fluff I recommend this.

Please note there are slight mentions of domestic abuse. If that bothers you i’d probably give this one a miss.

Apologises for any mistakes, CDs aren’t my strong point and my brain turned to complete dust with this one OTL

(Translation under the cut - Do not use/repost without permission)

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anonymous asked:

(1/2) Heyyy good luck with the blog!! Can I ask a scenario of Kuroo and his older (college student) s/o: nekoma was having an outing/practice match w other school and otw back they got stuck by heavy storm or sth

(2/2) and the whole team ended up staying overnight at kuroo’s s/o place and they never met her before (except kenma). She is very caring and dependable. Super fluff plsss. Sorry for the super long and detailed ask 😅

AN: omg i’m sorry this took so long aksjhjkasf ty for the good luck!

YO I luh dis cuz I, too, am a college student with an apartment who would love to have a soaking wet Team Nekoma randomly show up on my doorstep :D

I hope I fluffed this up enough for you !! Fluff isn’t my strong point haha.


Volleyballs and the squeak of shoes echoed through the large gymnasium. After hours of practicing, Kuroo finally called for a break. The gym felt musty and sweaty, so Yamamoto went to the exit for some fresh air.

He groaned when he opened the door. “Oi, Captain!” He called. “Come look outside.”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow as the team followed him to the door where Yamamoto was. Outside the foreign gym, the sky was gray and the clouds clashed thunder to the earth. Lev flinched at each boom.

“Great, I bet the streets are flooded by now,” Yaku tisked.

“Not my fault our gym is being renovated!” Kuroo pouted. “Besides, it’s a privilege to practice at such a prestigious University like UTokyo. You brats should be thankful!”

“Did Coach even approve of this?” Kenma asked.

“He didn’t NOT approve of it. All he said was ‘practices are up to you while I’m gone’.”

“Look how that turned out,” Yamamoto muttered.

“Shut it.”

“Where will we sleep tonight if we can’t even make it to the train station to go home?” Kai asked.

A smirk slowly grew on the captain’s face. The team began to back away from Kuroo knowing that whenever he smirked, he was up to no good.

“I know exactly where to go ~” Kuroo said, taking out his phone.

“Stop smiling like that,” Kenma said.

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The Suit Part 1

Chibs/Reader

Warning: Fluffy goodness.

You never thought he’d ask you. But he did. You’d been together for almost two years now. You were completely inseparable. Only when the club runs came along and you understood. Didn’t make it any easier but you understood. He asked you to wear his crow and be his old lady a little after a year. But you didn’t imagine he’d ever ask you to marry him. Like ceremony and rings. You were just happy be made you his old lady and that you had his crow. Who needed paper documents? You two were in mad love. You figured that was his way of “Marrying you” and you were fine with it. Filip Telford was your old man. And you his old lady. But he did want more. He wanted to not just call you his old lady. He wanted you to be his wife. Once he started seeing you it was over for the crow eaters. No “what happens on a run” nonsense. He was completely devoted to you and no one else but you. He’d do anything for you. No matter how hard it was for him to do…

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Date Night + 7

Date Night + 7

Previous Imagine: Big Brother Trouble!

“Jack?! Why are they here I thought we were having a quiet night out, with just the two of us,” Joe asked as he stared at the Buttercreams at a table across from them, Caspar and Josh were waving at them while Conor was sending flirty looks, and Mikey was making inappropriate hand motions.

“I may have told them that we had a date here tonight, but I didn’t think they would crash it, Oh god Oli’s coming over here, should we act like we don’t know him?” Jack asked staring at the man that was making his way over to them.

“No that would just make everything awkward,” Joe put on a fake smile, as Oil finally made it to their table. “Hello Oliver.”

“Hey guys, sorry they drug me here I thought we were going clubbing, I would’ve declined if I knew that I was going to spend the whole night staring at you two,” Oli seemed really apologetic, so Joe and Jack easily forgave him, but the other 4 were dead to them. With that Oil headed back to his table, looking very annoyed at the fact that his night was wasted.

“So should we leave?” Joe chuckled and just shook his head no.

“If they want to be here so badly we’re just going to have to ignore them and continue on with our night, maybe do some things to make them uncomfortable,” Jack eyes quirked up with interest.

“Like what?”

“Like this maybe,” Joe took some his pasta from his fork and fed it to Jack, who ate it with a blush evident on his cheeks. Groans could be heard from the boys, and Mikey’s voice telling Jack to “Get in there.”

“Never mind that’s never going to work, let’s just carry on… So um how was your day?” Joe felt like he was on their first date all over again, nervous and frigid.

“It was good, until I saw those idiots walk in, but if it means I get to spend the night with you then I say it’s worth it,” Jack smiled so widely because he knew how cheesy it may sound but it was genuinely how he felt, which is why Joe couldn’t keep the blush or smile from forming in his face.

“I think we should leave, want to maybe go for a walk?” Jack was one step ahead of him already calling the waiter over for their ticket.

“Oi! Where are they going?” Caspar loud and confused voice could be heard over all the boys chatting about war Jack and Joe were doing.

“They’re leaving Caspar, and we just ordered too,” Conor pouts looking exactly like the little kid he was on the inside.

After paying for their meal Joe and Jack head out, hoping they could get the boys off their trails. “Where do you want to go, Love?” Jack asked while wrapping his arms around Joe’s waist and pulling him close.

“I really just want to take a walk around bask in the sun for awhile, then grab a taxi and go home, how does that sound?” Joe asked while lacing his arm around Jacks.

“Sounds perfect,” The two boys huddle together as they walked farther away from the restaurant where the other 5 boys were leaving.

“We’ll never get to them fast enough, I say we just go home,” Oli didn’t really care for stalking Joe and Jack, they were cute and all but he just wanted to sleep.

“Hush Oli! We can’t let them get away,” Mikey declared while leading the group in the direction that the two men when. “I believe I saw them take a right.”

“Why are we taking directions from Mikey? He gets lost in a grocery store,” Caspar complained, earning a few laughs from the other guy.

“He claims he knows what he’s doing if it really comes down to it, I can track Jack’s phone we share an iCloud,” Conor whipped out his phone shaking it around.

“I say we do that first but whatever,” Josh huffed as they continued to follow not the brightest boy in the group.

The Buttercreams have been following Jack and Joe for a while now, Joe seemed to have noticed some time back, but Jack is still oblivious to the gang. “I think Anna’s going to come over this weekend to stay with us, I could make her go stay with Conor, but he’s busy is that okay?”

“It’s fine, I love your sister. I can tell how happy it makes her to spend time with her older brother too, it’s kind of like Zoe and I.” Joe loved Zoe so much, she was his best friend growing up. People say your siblings can’t be your best friend, but Zoe was all Joe needed to get through his school life.

“Maybe we can go watch the new Beauty and The Beast movie, she’s been begging you to take her, I’ve read the messages.”

Before Jack could reply a loud bang followed by some cuss words could be h are from a voice that sounded a lot like Josh. The two men turned around to be met with the sight of The Buttercreams, but Josh was on the ground and a trashcan was next to him.

“What the fuck? Have they been following us this entire time?” Jack asked while looking back at the men clearly aggravated.

“Yeah, I figured if I just ignored them you wouldn’t notice and actually enjoy our date,” Joe sighed heavily, Jack made a move to go talk to the men but Joe was quick to grab him and pull him back. “Let’s just go home they can’t follow us there.”

Jack rolled eyes and reluctantly kept walking wanting to give the boys a piece of his mind. “Alright, but I’m calling a taxi.”


Joe unfortunately was wrong, as soon as they made it into their flat, settled down, and turned on a movie, a knock at the door ruined it all. Jack, with a heavy head, opened the door to be met with the sight of the Buttercreams.

“Jack, hey buddy! Can we come in?” Caspar asked overly excited, Jack just sighed and moved over so they could enter there was no point in stopping them now. “Thanks buddy!”

They all piled in situating themselves on the couch. “Why are you here?” Joe whined while burying his face into the couch.

“We miss you guys, and we want to hang out,” Conor answers while scooting over so Jack can sit next to Joe.

“We went out clubbing 3 days ago!” Jack protested, as he pushed play.

“Key word 3 days ago,” Mikey dug his hand into the bowl of popcorn, soon followed by Josh’s hands. At this point Jack and Joe gave up on the subject, just cuddled up together, and be happy they get to spend time together, even if the others are here too.

Title: Lazy day at home 

Summary: Its all in the title, Dean and you spend a day bumming around the bunker.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word count: 799

Warnings: Fluff, light swearing, hinted smut

A/N: hullo! So this is just a quick read, check out my masterlist.

You lie on your bed staring at the bunker ceiling. You sigh turning to the clock on your wall only to see a total of three minutes has passed since you last checked it. The boredom was killing you, you weren’t built for this, you were built for action, for hunting, not staying at home all day. The radar had been clear of leads for weeks now and you were sick of waiting around for Sam to announce where you would be hunting next. You jump up off the bed with a huff and lightly walk down the hallway your bare feet padding against the wooden floor. Slowly your head pokes around the corner of the room which belongs to Dean, you see him eyes closed oversized headphones cladding him, no doubt yelling classic rock into his ears. Despite the fact that the chemistry between you and Dean was something you’d both never experienced, you both knew that a relationship was impossible in this line of service. You kept it casual, you didn’t tell Sammy about the late night visits and kisses behind the library shelves.

“Dean?” You said with your head still the only part of you visible from behind the door.  His eyes stayed shut, the music easily heard by you despite the fact you were metres away. “Dean!” You say louder… no reaction. With a sigh you heave your pyjama coated body into the room flopping down on the end of the bed with a humph. Dean’s eyes shoot open and he sits up, after seeing it was just little old you, he leans back as if he never saw you, closing his eyes again. “Deaannn” You sit up with your brows furrowed; he ignores you, a little smirk on his face “oh come on” you wail crawling up next to him “I’m bored, lets do something”. He grunts a reply his eyes shut, you shake him violently his smirk growing but his eyes still closed tight. “DEAN quit it” You straddle his chest staring at him from your vantage point, his eyes slowing open and his takes his headphones of.

“Oh sorry y/n did you want me” He says lazily. Your wack him on the chest lightly

“Asshat” You mutter. His eyebrows raise.

“what was that?” His smirk grows and his arms wrap around you resting on your waist.  

“I said you were an asshat” You said loud and clear. His eyes amused, he chuckles.

“That’s not very nice is it?” He stares up at you. You lean in whispering in his ear “well you’re not very nice” With that Dean used his arms to flip you to the other side of the bed, switching positions so he was now straddling you, holding you hands down with his own, his weight heavy enough to keep you in place but his legs stopping him from crushing you.

“Oi! Come on…get off” You wiggle trying to get free but not making much of an effort.

“I don’t think I will” He says not breaking eye contact with you “I do remember that time though you said you weren’t ticklish though” He paused “why don’t we put that to the test” Your eyes widen in fear shaking your head in a no.

“Okay you win you win I’m sorry I disturbed you!!!” He gives you a cocky smirk rolling off you and lying next to you. You stay still a while breathing in and out before you speak “I’m so freaking bored” You don’t break your stare with the ceiling, Dean rolls onto his side his arm supporting his head, his gaze on you.

“I can Think of one thing to postpone that” He smoothly quotes. You look at his to see his eyebrows wiggle, you punch him lightly. “you wish” You giggle. He grabs your hand intertwining in his own, a new experience for you. You smile at him timidly; he leans forward kissing your forehead lightly before retreating slightly so that your lips are only centimetres apart.

“So get this” A voice comes from the hall, you pull back eyes wide and alert. By the time Sam has made it to the room Dean is lying down with his headphones on and his eyes closed and you are crossed legged at the end of the bed with a book in your hands. Sam nods at you in hello and Dean takes his headphones off as if only just noticing Sam’s presence. “I found a case, Illinios, man found dead in a bathtub with signs of struggle, heart missing, window smashed.” You smile in relief “Thank god I’m bored out of my wits here.” You state, Sam looks at you quizzically and you return his stare. “What? do I have food on my face?” You ask. “No, its just… your reading that book upside down”.

dadshirtking  asked:

50, love! x

50. “This is girl talk, so leave.”

Harry felt his heart beating out his chest. He didn’t know why. There was no legitimate reason to be nervous. He was only showing the ring he bought for Y/N to Liam. Still, he couldn’t contain the nervousness he felt. It just seemed so real now. Like it was something he was actually about to do. Like it was the beginning of an era. He didn’t even feel this nervous when he was asking her parents for their blessing. It wasn’t as tangible then. But having this engagement ring in his hands felt all too real. 

He was sat at the edge of the couch, nails bitten down to the pads of his finger, waiting for a response. “What do you think?”

“Mate…”

“It’s too different, isn’t it? I should’ve just went classic, shouldn’t I?”

“It’s per-fect,” Liam replied in his Leeroy voice.

He chuckled nervously. “You think?”

“She’s going to love it,” he reassured, holding the ring up closer to inspect it. Harry let out a breath, he wasn’t entirely sure when he started holding in. “When are you gonna pop the question?”

His heart sped up again and he broke out in a cold sweat. This was possibly the most terrifying thing he had to do in his life, and that’s saying something considering he was on the X Factor. He knew she wouldn’t say no, (or at least he hoped) but this was a major life event. “I’m not sure. I want it to be soon, though. She always said she wanted an early fall wedding, so I figure if I ask now-” he began but was cut off.

“Honey! I’m home!” they heard Y/N yell from the corridor leading into the family room. Both their eyes bulged out of their head as they scrambled to hide the ring. Liam stuffed it back into the box and tossed it to Harry. Harry then proceeded to sit on it, just in time for her to walk into the room. “Oi! Liam, what’s going on mate?”

“Nothing much.” How he was able to keep his composure was a mystery to Harry.

Y/N leaned across the sofa and wrapped her arms around H’s neck whilst kissing his temple. He visibly relaxed into her touch, but was still shaken up. “Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“I- I don’t. I am, um, you,um, you’re interrupting.”

“Am I now?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

He nodded. “This is girl talk, so leave.”

“Whatever you say, H. Whatever you say,” she replied and pecked his lips before sashaying away.

He exhaled heavily and Liam laughed, clapping him on the back. “You’re a wreck. You really do need to do this soon.”

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DIABOLIK LOVERS DVD Bonus Vol.2 Drama Track

Castings: Midorikawa Hikaru as Ayato, Hirakawa Daisuke as Raito & Toriumi Kousuke as Shuu

*Apparently this drama happens after the pool scene in episode 2 of the anime. After saving Yui from drowning, Ayato came in front of the fireplace to dry his uniform.*

Ayato: Because of her fault I’m dripping wet like this. My shirt is so sticky, it’s so gross. I can just let her drown though… why? If I leave it in front of the fireplace, the uniform will be dry by itself, right? Oi, Raito! What are you doing?! If you’re here don’t just watch me and keep silent! It’s gross!

Raito: Ufu~ You knew I’m here?

Ayato: Don’t say such stupid thing! You were totally exposed!

Raito: Eh… Ayato-kun, you were so drenched. What’s wrong? Did the rain pour today?

Ayato: Tch. As usual from you.

Raito: What is it?

Ayato: Playing dumb even though you knew the truth! I knew you were just playing around. Stop it!

Raito: *laugh*Oh my, you seem so much pissed off. Ufu. Is it because Bitch-chan’s lips are sweeter than you thought they would be? Hey, how was it? Tell me how it feels.

Ayato: Shut up! Don’t watch me as you please!

Raito: I don’t watch you as I please. My eyes just saw it as its own.

Ayato: In the first place why are you in the pool? Even though that you hate swimming.

Raito: Ehh… who said that I hate swimming? Isn’t it you who hate water? Moreover, you didn’t answer my question yet. How was it, Bitch-chan’s lip? Don’t be stingy and tell me right away.

Ayato: I don’t have any obligation to tell you that.

Raito: It was good… huh?

Ayato: Shut up!!

Raito: *laugh* you’re angry. Ayato-kun, are you… feeling agitated? So not you~

Ayato: I don’t feel agitated! Raito, if you don’t shut your fucking mouth, I will hit you for sure!

Raito: Hey… If you hit Raito-kun’s beautiful face the entire woman in the world will gone sad, you will not do it, right?

Ayato: So noisy! Like hell I care!!

Raito: Sorry, sorry. Don’t be so mad.

Ayato: Tch!

Raito: But, when I think about it carefully, wasn’t that Bitch-chan’s first kiss?

Ayato: Of course! All her first experience is mine, since she came to this house!

Raito: Is first experience is such a good thing? You’re so concern about being number one or be in someone’s first experienced, huh?

Ayato: What’s wrong about it?

Raito: Doesn’t it more exciting to snatch away someone else’s girlfriend? That she is so much loved, so much cared, and so much detested by someone beside me. To snatch that girl is more exciting and fun, right? Ufu.

Ayato: Weirdo! What’s so good in laying your hand in someone else’s property? The girl who doesn’t have bite marks, and has a pure white skin.  Doesn’t it better to be the first to taste it?

Raito: But she doesn’t have a pure white skin anymore, right? Ufu. I will eventually taste her too soon.

Ayato: Do you think I will let you do that?

Raito: I will shower Bitch-chan with love. I will trace her body where you’ve been touched and lick it, I will pierce her skin where you’ve bite her before with my fangs, I’ll enjoy it all. Eh… but at that time, who does she imagine to suck her blood? No, isn’t it better if she imagines both of us?

Ayato: I lost my mind when I heard you say that!

Raito: Is it me? Or you? Or maybe another person? *laugh*

Ayato: Raito, don’t joke around you punk! She is mine! Look for another woman, you dammit!

Raito: If you’re so serious, just go and burn yourself.

Ayato: Are you picking a fight with me?

Raito: Don’t put such a scary expression, Ayato-kun. Moreover, even if you said that she’s your belongings; since she came here I do have privilege to taste her too. Because she is our sacrifice bride.

Ayato: Shut up!!! Since I claimed her to be mine, so she’s my property!

Raito: Wait up~ that’s just your egoism. Right, Shuu? You think so too, right?

Ayato: Huh?? Shuu??

Shuu: So noisy. Be quiet and let me sleep. Today is full moon. So tired.

Raito: It’s not tiring, don’t your power rising up instead?

Shuu: Whatever.

Raito: I love full moon. Complicatedly all the entwine things become untied. And we become devoted to only one desire, in this full moon night.

Ayato: Shuu, since when you were there?

Shuu: It’s not your business, right?

Raito: Ufu. He was always here, right? You were listening to all the conversations, right? I want to show it to Shuu too. Ayato-kun’s magnificent diving and his passionate embrace with Bitch-chan.

Ayato: You… Just shut the fuck up!!

Shuu: I saw it.

Ayato: You saw it…?

Ayato + Raito: HUH??? You were there???

Shuu: Noisy! Both of you stop shouting! I always take a nap there.

Ayato: Tch! It’s really irritating!

Raito: Everyone knows where usually each of us in, right? Well, we don’t know the inner feelings of each of us though.

Ayato: Subaru is in his coffin, and Reiji is in his experiment room, right?

Raito: Well, that’s true. But, I don’t know. Maybe Subaru already knew it. But all of us know that Reiji might get caught in the middle of his experiment. But… how about Kanato-kun?

Shuu: He was there.

Raito: Eh? By ‘there’ you mean is… on that pool?

Shuu: Right. He watched from the terrace in 2nd floor.

Raito: *laugh* I see. Kanato-kun seemed like he doesn’t have any interest, but the truth is he keeps an eye on Bitch-chan.

Ayato: Tch.

Raito: But hey, sucking human blood inside the water is quite a good idea. I like it too. Inside the water we can tell clearly our prey’s breath and temperature. Like a little bird, they are so soft and warm, they asked to be embraced. I can’t hold myself.

Shuu: I hate to suck human blood underwater.

Raito: Heh… Shu also had experienced it before? It’s my first time to hear that.

Shuu: Because I need more power than usual. Moreover inside the pool, the water is cold so the blood will cold too.

Raito: That’s true. But I like it both warm and cold.

Shuu: By the way pool is a place for me to sleep.

Raito: I wonder~ Ufu.

Ayato: If you really like to sleep on the pool, why don’t you be there forever? Why are you coming here and disturbing me?

Shuu: Sluggish… Because it’s my favorite place to view the moonlight.

Raito: Whatever you said before, in the end you like full moon, right?

Shuu: I didn’t say that I hate it, did I? Moreover I came here first. After that Raito came. Ayato, you are the last one to come. *smirk* It’s better if you go to your own room.

Ayato: Tch. shut up! I just want to dry my uniform. This fireplace is the biggest in our manor.

Shuu: Ayato… on top of that seeing your upper half body is so disgusting. Wear something!

Ayato: Huh?! Sluggish King! I don’t deserve to be called disgusting by you! You yourself took a bath with your clothes on, right?!?! That’s far more disgusting!

Shuu: It’s not that I like to take a bath with my clothes on. It’s too troublesome.

Raito: Hey… that’s not important, right?

Shuu: Yeah… it’s not important.

Raito: Hm? *sniffing something*

Ayato: What is it? Are there someone coming here again?

Raito: No. doesn’t it smell like burnt?

Ayato: Huh? Smell like burnt? HUA!!

Raito: Whoa- your shirt and your jacket are burning!

Shuu: If you’re too close to fire of course you’ll be burnt.

Ayato: Stop talking! Damn!!! *Ayato tried to put out the fire*

Raito: Ah… I’m sorry for that. Well, you should tell Reiji the truth and he will prepare the new one for you. Tell him that after you saved the drowning Bitch-chan, you burnt your uniform when you tried to dry it. Ufu.

Ayato: You… are you making fun of me?

Raito: That’s not true. To tell you the truth, I just want to see Reiji’s reaction. I want to know how much he cares for Bitch-chan.

Ayato: I don’t care about that! Listen, I will say it once more. Chichinashi is mine. Don’t lay your hand on her as you please!

Shuu: I don’t remember I have to obey your order.

Raito: Way to go, Shuu!

Ayato: Huh?!?! Say it once again!

Shuu: Shut up… I won’t play around with you more.

Ayato: Shuu! I’m still not finish with you yet!

Shuu: What? Do it quickly.

Ayato: Don’t lay your hands on her!

Shuu: Of course, I can’t promise you that.

Ayato: Tch!

Raito: Heh… so unusual. For Shuu to be so concern about our sacrifice bride… it’s the first time, right? Ufu. Things are getting more and more interesting.

Ayato: Raito, shut your mouth!

Shuu: I’m not concern about her. She’s just a mere food. No more or less.

Ayato: You can look for another food.

Shuu: So troublesome, because there is only one sacrifice bride at our own home.

Ayato: Tch.

Raito: *laugh* Seems like things become so fun. Hey, hey, since it became like this, should we bet on whom amongst us that Bitch-chan wants to suck her blood? With that everything will be worth doing, right?

Ayato: Huh?! What did you say? That is of course me, right?

Shuu: I don’t care about food’s feeling.

Raito: Eh? You don’t care?

Ayato: That’s right. Raito, we don’t need to have such competition. My way of sucking blood is the best for her.

Raito: Are you fine with that?

Ayato: You have too much spare time, Raito.

Shuu: I agree.

Ayato: I’ll come back to my room.

Raito: Heh…

Shuu: Me too. I’m so sleepy.

Raito: Eh? Shuu will go too?

Shuu: The moon already hid somewhere.

Raito: *sigh* So boring. For us vampire, we have all the time in the world forever. It’s fine if they play along and have fun with me. Ufu. For Bitch-chan, what does she feel? What does she understand about me? I will exposed that, ufu for the very first time.

_________________________________________________________

Translation member: Kanrasha

Saeran As a Babysitter For The Others Kids...Including His Own
  • Zen: Here's everything! Oh, yeah, here's a camera as well! Make sure to document everything! Bye, Saeran!!!
  • Saeran: Wait! When did I *door slams shut behind Zen* agree to this?
  • Daughter: Elfie? Elfie! Elfie! Elfie!!
  • Saeran: Why am I not surprise that you're trying to say selfie? Okay, whatever, smile for the camera. *camera clicks*
  • ___________________________________________________________
  • Jumin: She and Elizabeth Third eat five minutes apart. Make sure they stay on schedule.
  • Saeran: I don't remember agreeing to this!! *door shuts behind Jumin*
  • Daughter: KITTY!! *Elizabeth screeches as the child grabs her tail*
  • Saeran: DON'T DO THAT!
  • ___________________________________________________________
  • Yoosung: Are you sure about this? I'm going to only be at the office for a few hours.
  • Saeran: You told me you had something for that idiot brother.
  • Yoosung: I do. At the office and my wife is out of town so I need someone to watch my son. I'll be back~~
  • Saeran: Why does this keep happening?!
  • Yoosung: *leaves without looking back*
  • Son: Food? Food! Food! Food!
  • Saeran: What do you want to eat?
  • ___________________________________________________________
  • Jaehee: I don't want to leave you alone with my son...
  • Saeran: I think you might be the only sane one of the bunch. I can operate a phone. Would you like me to help you find a good babysitter?
  • Jaehee: Please.
  • Son: Wok. Wok. Wok.
  • Saeran: You really do work a lot if he's trying to say 'work'.
  • ___________________________________________________________
  • Saeyoung: Catch!
  • Saeran: DON'T THROW YOUR BABY! OI, IDIOT!
  • Son: Puter? Puter!
  • Saeran: Good idea. Let's put a virus on idiot's computer.
  • ___________________________________________________________
  • Saeran: Is there any chance you can take care of yourself?
  • Daughter: *two months old* *starts crying*
  • Saeran: WHAT DO I DO! ______!!! IT'S CRYING!!!!!!! HALP!
Some translation from 6Tones′s Crea Game Corner (Mainly Kouchi/Jesse)

In this corner they have to write one name among the 6 of them according to the theme. If 2 person or more write the same answer, they each got one point. The loser will have to do batsu game (punishment).

I only translate some part that I fond of (mainly Kouchi or Kouchesse)

The translation might not be 100% accurate.

Q : If you’re a girl who you want as your lover? (4/30)

Kouchi –> Jesse

“Since we’re together so much, we know everything about each other, so I feel at ease. Like, nothing to be cautious about. It’s tiring to keep being wary isn’t it?”

Jesse –> Kouchi

Jesse : It’s like he said, it’s nice (being together). Do you guys had go out together before?

Juri : No, I don’t think I’ve went with just Kouchi

Jesse : Right? Unexpectedly it’s nice you know.

Taiga : Somehow you two are scary.

Q : Who is the group’s leader in shadow (among them)? (5/2)

Jesse –> Kouchi

Juri : You’ve been choosing Kouchi since yesterday

Jesse : Not like it’s bad. He’s reliable.

Juri : He’s the oldest after all.

Jesse : One way or another he’s in the role for it.

Taiga : You sure like it.

Jesse : I like it. So when he #$%^$ (he slipped)

Taiga : Ah, like when he saying “Do it properly!”

Kouchi –> Jesse

Juri : You’ve been choosing Jesse too since yesterday.

Kouchi : I did, didn’t I? One way or another it became Jesse again. For me Jesse is like a psychiatric. He gave me advice, I feel at ease when with him. He really support me in the back. 

Hoku : So this is because of your personal reason?

Kouchi : Un.

Shin : Somehow those two (Kouchesse) are scary!

Q : Who you want as roommate if have to share room (5/3)

Juri : Kouchi so fast! (he immediately write his answer)

*Kouchesse choose each other*

Kouchi : You guys guessed it already?

Juri : Jesse also choose Kouchi.

Jesse : Since we feel ease at each other.

Kouchi ; Yeah, we don’t need to be cautious about anything.

In (5/4) show they somehow ended up with Shin got 3 points with the rest 4 got 2 points (Taiga isn’t there)

Juri : We can’t do batsu game. What to do?

Kouchi : Can’t we just let Shin do the batsu game?

Hoku : Then let’s do it once more!

Juri : Okay you make the question.

Hoku : Okay! Who’s the coolest between us!

*it’s a riot and everyone obviously write their own name*

Hoku : Okay next!! Who is the most popular!!

*another question where they obviously will write their own name. But Juri purposely write Hoku’s name so Kouchi&Jesse got batsu game*

Kouchi : Oi! (at seeing Juri’s answer)

Juri : It’s as if you both keep on losing on purpose.

Hoku : Then you two take embarrassing pic, later backstage Juri and I will take embarrassing pic too. 

Shin : What about me!?

Hoku : You do it on your own.

Juri : (to audience) What do you want them (Kouchesse) to do?

Fan : Kiss!

Kouchi : Are you stupid(baka)?!

Hoku? : No way that’s possible!

Jesse : You stupid(aho)!!!

Juri : seeing Grandpa and Ikemen kissing might be intersting.

Kouchi : So I’m grandpa.

Juri : Then let’s do the kiss?

Kouchi : Why are you saying that?! It’s impossible!!

Jesse : Impossible! Impossible! Impossible!

Juri : I get it. Then, do the kiss using this between you (towel)

Jesse : What the…

Juri : I will hold it okay?

Jesse : You definitely gonna pull it away on the last moment right!?

Kouchi : NO NO NO I DON’T WANT THAT!!!

*after lots of struggling they take position*

Kouchi : (right before kiss) THIS IS WORK!

Q : Who’s member with the most secret? (5/4)

Shin : (actually write Hokuto) As I listen to you guys, I just realized I actually went out with Hokuto quite often. And as I think about it, I just realized about this too, I can’t think of anything about Kyomocchan! Even though we’ve been together since we were kids! He’s too much of a mystery. So can I change my answer?

Q : Who the most spoiled one?

Juri –> Jesse

Juri : Once at work Jesse keeps mailing me saying “Please hurry up and come back. I’m all alone in the dressing room here.” Then when I went back and do my make up he keeps grinning at me. But when I said “good morning” to him he just went “Oh, ah…yeah.” Other time when we’re sitting in sofa together he fell asleep in my shoulder.

Shin –> Juri

Shin : Everytime after we finish work in backstage he (Juri) will call her mother, “Mama~? Juttan is heading home now~” (with teasing voice)

Juri ; Stupid! I didn’t say it like that!! Stop that!!

Shin : “Helo Mama~ Juttan is…” (Still with teasing voice)

Juri : It’s not llike that! But I do call her after work finished.

Shin : What did you say again at the end of the call?

Juri : Bye bye, I love you mama~

Shin : You’re a complete mother-con and spoiled kid!

Jesse –> me

Jesse : Even on street, I don’t like being alone.

Fans : Kawaii~~

Jesse : Thank you very much~!

Q : Who you want as pet?

*Kouchi, Juri, Hokuto and Shin choose Taiga*

*they saying how his attitude is like a cat*

Taiga : I do seems like the person who’s not good with people right? But actually I do love human.

Juri ; You’re a human too you know. 

Taiga : Ah, you’re right.

For the last question Juri let Taiga choose the question.

Taiga : Snce we 6 gathered now, we will go for a meal after right? Then, who’s the one most likely gonna pay for the food? Like, in NEWS when Koyama-kun became leader he pay for the members meal. So the one chosen here have possibilities to become the leader.

*Everyone write Kouchi’s name, while Kouchi write Shintaro’s name*

Juri : Why as the oldest you write Shintaro’s name instead, who’s the youngest?!

Kouchi : I just thought it’ll be funny, you know…. *no reaction*…This is embarrassing. Okay I get it, I’ll pay for the food.

FF XV React: You betray them

Suggested by: anon

(I suggest listening to “Requiem for a dream” I adjusted the request by the by)

Noctis: *you point your weapon at him as Nifelheim soldiers ready their guns* WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! D-Dont tell me….Tch!! Why? WHY!!?! I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT LUCIS!! *says under his breath shakily;* About me….

Gladiolus: *instead of attacking the enemy, you go for Noctis* OI!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! *blocks your attack, keeping Noctis safe. Now you two are in a deadlock* HOW CAN YOU SIDE WITH THEM?! AFTER ALL WE’VE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER! EACH AND EVERYONE OF US!!

Prompto: C'Cmon this, this is just some sick joke right? Y-You’re just kidding around? Hahaha….*gulps when he realizes you aren’t lowering your weapon* How? HOW COULD YOU!!! I TRUSTED YOU!! WE TRUSTED YOU!!! *readies his gun*

Ignis: I, had my suspicion. But I merely wrote it off as being paranoid…not being used to another in our group…*takes a deep breath* Someone,who was like family. A brother/sister. *battle stance* You’ve made your decision, as have I.

Cor: You should know full well the consequences of your actions by pointing that blade at me. You have severed any bonds that have been forged, if they meant anything to you and if they were ever true. *readies weapon* YOU ARE NO MORE THAN ANOTHER SOLDIER TO ME!!!

Regis: I see. *takes a deep breathe* I will not ask “how” or “why”. You’ve made your choice, and I in turn respect such. I regret that it has come to this, *the circle of blades surround him* I will deliever you to Etro quickly.

fangirlingandotome  asked:

What are the boys' reaction when they are expecting a selfie or something from their lovers but instead they get Rick-rolled? I'm crazy, I know.

Ayato: wha…. the f**k???????? Oi what the hell is this?!

Laito:………. bitch-chan… i sent you a sexy picture… why did you send me this? this isn’t a turn on at all…..

Kanato: THIS IS THE FORTH TIME TODAY!! WHY DO YOU KEEP SENDING ME THIS STUPID VIDEO?!!?

Reiji:… well i can’t say this is what i was hoping for……….

Shu: please… please just stop… i’m sick of this video, can’t you just send me a damn picture of your face? your away on a school trip, i haven’t seen you in days and i ask for a picture of your face and this is what i get??

Subaru:………….the hell?

Yuma:…Sow what is this? i was expecting a selfie or somethin’ better. but you know i hate this video

Kou: No! no no no no! NO! i’m NOT watching this again!

Ruki: *stares blankly at screen*……..*sighs*….

Azusa: i don’t…. understand….what is this…. that you’ve sent me?…

On Werewolves and Bisexuality

knightfrog1248 submitted to stagdogwolfandrat:

I finished the drabble inspired by your post! I put it on AO3 as well. I am rather proud of myself, so I just wanted to share! =)

Thanks for the inspiration!
——————————————————-

One warm evening late in the school year after James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew had finished their exams but Remus Lupin still had one to go, the quartet were heading out to the lake for an after dinner round of Tease-the-Giant-Squid.

“James,” Remus sighed, “just… am I, strictly speaking, human?”

James looked nervously from Remus to Sirius, who was making barking sounds and laughing.

“Er…”

“I’m a werewolf.” Remus said quietly, mindful of the other students exiting the Great Hall.

“Right” said James, looking relieved.

“I’m not…” Remus paused, glancing anxiously at a first year student of indiscriminate gender who was staring up at him in unabashed wonder. The wonderment may have been due to the fact that his potions set was floating along in front of him, magical flame and all. They scurried off after Sirius snarled playfully at them. “Even when I’m in human form, I am still a werewolf, and when I have the appearance of a wolf, I am not wolf.”

“I get that,” said James loudly as they stepped outside. “I get that! What does that have to do with bi-sexuality?”

Remus winced- he could practically hear the hyphen. “Because when I used to go out with Esmerelda Clearwater, you thought I was straight, and when you caught me snogging Sirius you said I’d ‘turned gay’!”

A choking sound came from behind them. “What?” sputtered Peter, aghast. “You… and Sirius? But…”

Sirius spun around and walked backwards in order to grin and show off his teeth, Remus craned his neck over his shoulder and looked generally stern and uncomfortable, while James half turned and cocked an eyebrow as if to say wasn’t it obvious?

“That piece of gossip’s at least a week old, do try and keep up, Wormtail!” Sirius said happily, while leaning on Remus as obnoxiously as possible and giving him a very sloppy kiss where his jaw met his neck, turning his back on Peter once again.

“Just surprised he’d go for you, is all” he muttered, staring at the back of Sirius’s head.

“It’s not like I care whether you’re gay or not” continued James in his overloud voice, “I mean, Merlin was gay! Why do you keep saying you’re not?”

“Because” drawled Sirius, “he could still get off to Lily Evans, but I couldn’t.”

“Oi! Watch what you say about Evans!” James exclaimed. “And anyway, aren’t you gay if you’re with a bloke? And you are a bloke, I mean.”

“You sure you haven’t taken one too many Bludgers to the head, Horney? You really are a bit dim at times.” Sirius looked at his friend with mock concern.

Remus turned to Sirius and looked like he was about to argue, but then thought better of it.

“Ah, come on Mooney, you know I’m right!”

Remus gave his head a little shake and turned back to James. “Why do you understand that I’m a… what I am, better than you can understand a sexual orientation?” he asked James. “Do you understand, Pete?” he turned around to look at Peter, dislodging Sirius from his shoulder.

Peter glanced between the three of them rapidly before answering.”Yeah, you’re bisexual. You can experience sexual attraction to anyone, right?”

“Exactly!” cried Remus in relief. A few students looked over, wondering what that was about. “I can still-“

“-get a hard-on if you look too long at Evans!” Sirius finished.

Lupin rolled his eyes.

James glared at Sirius, but there was no real malice. “All right”, he said eventually. “I suppose I get it. But doesn’t that mean you’d also want a girl?”

Remus looked up at the sky, as though the perfect thing to say to get his friend to understand what he meant was written there in big letters. “Why” he asked eventually, “would I want a girl as well? I already have a boyfriend”- Sirius stifled a gasp- “so why”- Remus glanced over at Sirius and noted the small smile playing around his mouth- “would I want some other person as well?” Remus grinned back and nodded.

James was quiet for a moment.

“Come on, Prongs!” Peter supplied, “If you had Evans, would you want anyone else? Even Gytha Vane?”

Peter looked curiously at James. He had been going on for months about his old girlfriend. It had been Gytha and her teeth, Gytha and her boobs, Gytha and her cooking… “What’s so surprising about Banana Soup Surprise, anyway?”

“Well, it has banana in it for one thing” James said, glancing at Peter and smiling slightly with a far-away look in his eyes. “But, no.” he continued slowly, “I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else”. James was quiet for a moment. “So it’s like… I mean, if you.” he paused “You only want to be with one person at a time… and… if they are a bloke or a bint*… it doesn’t matter?”

Remus sighed again, this time in relief. He actually liked genderqueer and non binary people as well, but he wasn’t sure how James would take the news that some people were neither guys nor girls. “Yes! It’s that simple! Bisexuality is…” he hesitated; usually he liked describing it as ‘two or more genders’, but one had to tread carefully around James sometimes. “Bisexuality is when a person can be sexually attracted to the same and different genders, like how you can be attracted to more than one girl, but you only want to be with one. Forget genders, think of everyone as just people and I’m not very different from you.”

“Huh. I’ve never thought of it like that before.” James said musingly.

Sirius rolled his eyes and snorted. “‘Course you haven’t. But come on, Mooney! D’ya reckon the potion’s done?”

As Remus lowered the cauldron, Peter scurried between Remus and James in order to gather around the it with the others. Remus poked at it cautiously with his wand, and it let out a wisp of greenish steam and a smell rather like that of kelpie dung that had been left to air in a room full of rotting fish.

“Pfaw, whiffs bit, dunnit!” Sirius pointed out happily, waving a hand in front of his face and taking a step back.

Remus glared at him balefully. “I know” he deadpanned. Sirius grinned back cheekily. “It’s supposed to smell like that.”

“What, like kelpie dung that’s been left to air in a room full of rotting fish?” James asked. “Even I can smell it!”

“That means it’s working, and it’s ready.” Remus said impatiently. “I can’t have any of it, of course, but you should be fine.”

James looked at it uncertainly for a moment, then he glanced around and spotted Lily Evans, who was sitting on the shore of the lake reading a book. He conjured a glass, dipped it into the potion and shouted “Hey Evans!” before drinking it down in one swallow and taking a shallow dive into the water, not even bothering to check to see if she was watching. He was followed swiftly by Sirius. The effect was somewhat ruined because they had transformed into largish pink and yellow squids before they hit the water, their robes half tearing off them. They immediately began flailing, extracting themselves from the remainder of their clothes and getting used to the extra limbs again. Lily rolled her eyes and pretended to get back to her book, although she surreptitiously watched the brightly coloured squids and kept an eye out for the local one.

“You didn’t want to go this time?” Remus asked Peter.

“Nah” he replied succinctly.

“You seemed to understand quite quickly” Remus began tentatively as he sat down at the base of a tree. With a flick of his wand, the potions set was sent back to his dormitory.

“Yeah, well.” Peter stretched out beside him and stared out at the sky through the leaves of the tree. “I had to do some research myself.”

“Oh?”

“I’m asexual. Not sexually attracted to any gender, you know.”

Remus grinned. “We’re a queer bunch, you know.”

“I thought I was the ace punner around here” Peter said mournfully.

They shared a quiet chuckle while looking out across the lake, watching their friends whizz in circles around the giant squid, and breathing the warm summer air. Content.

hiddeninthemanor

hiddeninthemanor:

“Fair enough, Granger, but it’s not a simple gesture that I wouldn’t have expected from you. A hex, yes, or maybe a punch or a few unkind words, which I deserve…but a kiss? Can’t say that the thought ever crossed my mind. And that all depends - surely the Weasel has something to say about you going around and kissing enemies on the cheek?”

“Of course, now thinking about it a little more it is kind of off for me to do.  But it’s better than being hexed or even punched.  Can you just imagine what our peers would think seeing that happen?  They’ll whisper ‘Oi’ Granger walked up to Malfoy and hexed him in greeting while smiling about it.’  I really don’t think that would have gone well.  And as for Ronald he can say whatever he wants to say about it, I won’t listen to it.  You see I’m trying to start anew and push the past behind.  Why keep childish grudges.”

OKAY. SO.

The best way to clear up the audience/John not completely understanding Sherlock’s sexual orientation is for Sherlock to flirt with a man (or welcome it if some man initiates) and for John to bring up the first night at Angelo’s.

“Oi, Sherlock, what was that all about?”

“Hm?”

“That man. I thought… thought… that sort of stuff wasn’t ‘your area’?”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because you told me so.”

“When did I ever say something so preposterous?”

“Our first dinner at Angelo’s, the day after we met.”

“I said girlfriends weren’t my area. Do keep up, John.”

“Oh… right…. you did. Say that. Hm. How did I, misread that?”

“Probably because you’re an idiot.”