why do i have to pay

Bar Sentence Starters

“Can you give me a shot of the strongest you’ve got”

“What is the cheapest liquor that will get me fucked up”

“Bartenders always look really sexy”

“Just a soda for me”

“Why is that guy always over there in the corner”

“Do you give free drinks to pretty ladies?~”

“I’m not saying I’d sleep with you to pay for the tab, however, if that was an option I’d consider it”

“Is that… milk? Yeah I’ll have some”

“I know I’m here every friday night but I swear I’m not lonely or sad”

“I’ve only had like threeteen drinks you CAN’T kick me out”

“I know I vomited on the floor but I can handle a couple more now”

“When do you get off? I’d like to take you out for a drink myself.”

“Can I just get a bowl of maraschino cherries? Yeah just like a whole bowl”

“Why do all bartenders look dead inside after 10 pm?”

“Can you pretend to be my fiance?? This jackass won’t leave me alone”

“Come on, I know you’re working but why don’t  we just dance?”

Long time, no see..

• “And Blake’s already drinking.. all is right in the world.” - Carson
• “Learn to read, kids and you too can make it in Hollywood.” - Carson
• “Why do I have to call them MY coaches? I don’t own them.. they’re america’s coaches.. that they over pay..” - Carson
• Carson doing read offs like storage wars
• Making faces at the camera - Carson
• “Ok, I’m going back to bed.” - Carson
• Blake flipped off Adam on his way out, Adam pouted, Blake hugged him and kissed his cheek, Adam pretended to be grossed out
• Adam stomped on Blake’s foot
• Adam stroked Blake’s face
• Jealous!Adam
• Blake and Adam standing together laughing and bumping shoulders
• Blake = 😍
• Blake sneezing, Adam said “Aw.. you’ve never done that on the show before..” Blake said he sneezed cause he was allergic to dancing
• Blake and Adam bickering pretty much every contestant
• Staring quite a bit
• JHud saying that throwing her notebook at a contestant was her complimenting them and showing her love so Blake threw his notebook at Adam and accidentally hit Miley instead, Miley threw her notebook back at him and then went and punched him when she missed.. Adam couldn’t breathe he was laughing so hard
• Blake telling grandpa jokes, Adam tells Dad jokes
• Adam and Blake hanging out backstage
• Blake and Adam hanging out in front of the girls chairs
• Adam pretending to hit Blake in the crotch… many times

I hate this phrase..

“But you promised…”

This has to be my most hated phrase ever as of late next to ‘get over it already’.

Guys, please understand that promises can be broken for a variety of reasons. I mean, seriously, do I have to list the reasons why they can be or can some people not see past their own nose as to what’s going on in someone else’s world?

Unless you pay for something, nobody is obligated to fulfill a promise.

I’ve made some promises to people that I could do a RP for them, and when I tell them ‘no, I can’t anymore’, they still hound me about it keeping that phrase above my head like it’ll randomly change my mind.

People can and will change their minds about stuff all the time for (again) a variety of reasons. Also, guess what? People are actually not obligated to give you a reason as to why they cannot fulfill the promises they made.

Do understand that for me, personally, I try with all my heart and soul to fulfill every promise I make to people, but sometimes I just cannot give it all for everyone for personal reasons. There is no reason that people should hold that above my head. Understand that I am human, and I make mistakes when I don’t mean to and I make promises I cannot keep.

There is no binding contract with these words of ‘I promise’, and people need to understand this and just let it go.

Stuff piles up on my plate at a rapid speed, and I am doing everything I can to write and draw for myself and for others to keep them happy and content. However, everything sent my way, I am not obligated to do or respond to, but I will do my best. Just do not guilt me about it…ever!

As a gentle reminder: I think of you guys sometimes more than I do myself. Seeing others happy makes me happy, but again…there’s only so much of me I can push around the table.

Things that should have happened/explained:

- The girls telling all the truth to both their parents and the police (the deaths, A.D……)
- The girls acknowledging that they blinded Jenna
- The girls apologizing to Jenna and paying her the operation
- Everything Melissa has ever done since being born
- Melissa explaining Spencer what did she mean by “everything I do is to protect you”
- Explaining the importance of NAT
- Explaining why the other moms are not friends with Pam
- Lucas’s backstory with Charles
- When does A (cece) stops and A.D. (Alex) begins
- where the fuck is Mike cause he has anger issues and he was weird
- Who is in the caskett at the begining and why is it open now
- An epic A.D. reveal and nit what we got
- Why Maya dying was necessary in any way
- why are they so cool with the idea of Spencer not being Spencer if none of them figured it out

Feel free to comment more cause I honestly cant write enough plot holes

fantasyworldbb  asked:

3, 11, 50 and 74 😆

Uhh why the hard ones??

Okaay so

3)  Do you watch anime subbed or dubbed? - I prefer the subbed ones

11)  Favorite Disney movie? - Omg don’t make me choose.. i guess I’m gonna go with zootopia now because i dunno i recently saw this one.. even though i like the older ones more..

50) If you could have one of the Deathly Hallows (cloak of invisibility, Elder Wand, or Resurrection Stone), which would it be? - the goddamn cloak man. i could travel everywhere without paying and i could use it to fool people omg i want that cloak now!

74) What is your favorite song of all time? - mhm… i cannot really say anything because that changes like everyday with my mood. but i can name some of my fav bands: like rise against, billy talent and bigbang lol

Are you fucking kidding me?

I just saw a post telling people that they should be pissed about Koogi’s break

I.am.livid

“We have every right to be pissed”

“She took on this job - do it right”

“Stop treating koogi like she’s special and needs special treatment”

Are you for real?

Like…

This young, young woman creates content for you to drool and gush over weekly and you have the nerve to complain when she needs a rest?

We should be so fucking grateful that we even have Killing Stalking to begin with. 

Not to mention, In japan at least, making manga is an extremely taxing job. They don’t get a break. They literally work all damn day. Aren’t we just fucking lucky that Koogi, in Korea(not speaking for every manhwa artist), has the chance to even have breaks? Not only that, but I’m sure she doesn’t make that much money. So…pumping out this wonderful story, with amazing art, weekly, with little pay, doesn’t deserve a break?

Stop being so damn entitled.

And “treating her like she’s special” - you mean treating her like a human being?

Yeah, the fandom often babies her and worships her feet, but why is that a bad thing? This woman, whom we’re so grateful and appreciative of…who makes this story that we all love and adore…is there something wrong with admiring that?

For fuck sakes, I admire her for being able to even get the manhwa out weekly..

You do have every right to be upset about the hiatus, but pissed? Fuck right off.

Everyone deserves a break. Not to mention, if we never give Koogi a break, how mentally and physically taxing would that be? Working all the time with no break, but you’d have no problem with that, right? Because she’s supposed to be a “professional”, that’s what she signed up for, right?

“I stuck up for her hiatus the first time..but this time..no” Well aren’t you just special. Because she needed a break once, it was all g, no problemo, but a second break???TWO???? No WAY! !!! ! 

It’s.only.one.damn.month

You can’t expect everything to be handed to you on a silver plate without the server needing to rest every now and again.

I’ll say it one more time, stop acting so fucking entitled.

I’ll never forget the devasted expression in my English Language teacher’s face when I was 13 and asked her if she could help me get rid of my accent. She was a glorious, intelligent and tender woman and the first person to openly talk to me about how important it is to value our own culture over hegemomic european and north american influences, and how important it was to cultivate my identity as latina and to be proud of my accent, not ashamed

anonymous asked:

What do you think about Ariana grande and the charity concert

I think it’s fucking incredible that not even 2 weeks after that happened, she managed to organise the whole thing. I think it’s incredible that every bit of money that is made is going to help the families of those who died and the victims that survived but not without significant pain and suffering. I think it’s pretty incredible that she was apparently in hysterics and inconsolable for nearly 24 hours after it happened, but she came back to the city it happened in to give something good to those people. I think it’s incredible to see the support of so many other artists for the people of Manchester. I think it’s the best thing that could have happened honestly. They wanted us scared, they wanted us to be scared to do what we love, that’s why they targeted the place they targeted. And instead we’ve put on an even bigger show, brought even more people together, spread love and support and acceptance. It’s the most beautiful show of support and the best fuck you to everything the people that plan these attacks stand for.

Before this all happened, I didn’t really pay Ariana any attention, and I wasn’t a fan of her music. But after all of this, and the grace and poise and class that she’s responded to this situation with, I have nothing but respect for her.

inspired by this video (sfw, but a sex toy is being used as car repair, so take that as you will)

“Laura’s gonna flip,” Derek says in dismay, looking at the huge dent in the driver’s side door of the Camaro. Her most precious possession, the car she’d been saving up for forever, the car she waxes and washes every weekend, the car that she let Derek borrow to go to the Mathletes competition in San Francisco because Derek had a basketball game on Friday and couldn’t make the official school bus, the car that Laura made him swear his life on, is now forever ruined.

“Damn, if there ever was a good place to curse, that would have been it,” Stiles says, crossing his arms and looking far more attractive than he had the right to. “C’mon, Derek. Just say it. Fuck.”

Derek blushes, watching the word tumble out of Stiles’ pink mouth. “No, I… there’s gotta be a way to fix it. But if I call her insurance people she’s gonna know…”

“It’s totally my fault,” Stiles says. “I was the one who wanted to go to Tastee Freeze on the way back, and let some dingbat hit you in the parking lot. Actually, it’s their fault, whoever can’t drive.”

Derek shakes his head. It’s his fault. He’d been having too much fun this weekend; he’d spent practically all of it with Stiles. He’d had a crush on him forever— in fact, joined Mathletes at his request, and the whole year of practice, of spending afternoons with Stiles poring over math problems, watching Stiles lick Cheeto dust off his fingers— it’s been too much. Coupled with the fact that Stiles actually just plain forgot to catch the bus on Friday, and then caught a ride with Derek, meant hours in the car listening to him sing along to Hamilton and muddle through the rap bits, and sleeping next to him in the four-to-a-room motel Saturday night, and waking up with Stiles’ face smashed into his shoulder.

Derek had been too overwhelmed by it all, too overwhelmed by Stiles. Getting the chance to spend time with his friend this weekend had just intensified his feelings, and he knows there’s no chance that Stiles will ever feel the same, so he’s just drinking it all in, savoring these moments when he can.

It had been a terrible parking job, the Camaro was at a weird angle, that’s why the person rounding the turn had hit him. Derek sighs. He guesses it’s for the best. He’ll just have to pay Laura back. For forever.

Stiles is studying the door, eyes narrowed in concentration. “Actually, it’s not that bad. They didn’t even scratch it. It’s just a dent. With the right amount of leverage…”

“I’m sorry, do you happen to have a magical car-door fixer in your overnight bag?”

Somehow, this causes Stiles to turn bright red. “Okay. I have an idea. But you have to promise not to laugh.”

“Okay…?”

Derek watches, perplexed, as Stiles pulls his duffle bag out of the back seat, and then rummages around in it.

“Promise not to laugh,” Stiles repeats.

“I promise.” Derek is confused, but sincere.

Stiles pulls a bright blue dildo out of the bag. It’s springy, and jiggles a little with the movement. There’s a thick vein running along the side, and the base even has… balls.

Derek’s brain short circuits, an image of Stiles, naked, working himself on the girth of the toy, his mouth open, panting, as he tries to get the right angle, skin flushed pink from pleasure…

“Fuck,” Derek says.

Keep reading

Wrong

Summary: In which trying to prove your friends wrong doesn’t go quite as planned.

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Word Count: 994

A/N: I wanted to write something other than ALiL so I found this prompt list and had @marvelingatthewonder pick some prompts out for me. Here’s the first one: 68. “You’re wrong and I’ll prove it.”.

@avengerstories - you edit things for me at all times and I’m forever grateful for that.

Originally posted by davidmuhn

“Steve’s staring at you.”

You glare at Daisy over your shoulder, not bothering to lower the speed on the treadmill. “Sure he is.”

“He is. Not very discreetly might I add,” she notes, lips turning up in amusement.

Wanda peeks her head up from the yoga position she’s in and whistles. “Yup, not discreet at all.“

Keep reading

evidence that david wymack is the best character in this entire series, part ii

part i

The Raven King

  • Wymack didn’t care if he had nine Foxes or twenty-five. He’d stand behind them until the bitter, bloody end.
  • “Last I checked Andrew doesn’t like you,” Wymack said.
    • “He still doesn’t,” Neil said, but he didn’t bother to explain.
    • “Interesting.”
  • “Abby wrote me a speech to give you this afternoon. It sounded nice, had lots of stuff about courage and loss and coming together in everyone’s time of need. I tore it up and tossed it in the trash can beside my desk.”
  • Wymack cleared his throat and scratched a hand through his short hair. “Look. Shit happened. Shit’s going to keep happening. You don’t need me to tell you life isn’t fair. You’re here because you know it isn’t.”
  • “I want you on the court in light gear in five minutes or I’ll sign you all up for a marathon.”
  • “I don’t pay for electricity in this place so you can stand around and gossip.”
  • “Andrew Joseph Minyard, what the flying fuck have you done this time?”
  • “Answers now, Aaron,” Wymack said.
    • “I don’t know,” Aaron said.
    • “My ass you don’t.”
  • They were all on time, but Wymack and Abby were conspicuously absent.”
  • “Get your gear and get out of my locker room.”
  • He looked the other way because he knew how badly some of them needed their escapes to survive.
  • It was apparently better to be uncomfortable but safe than to trust a stranger with his fractured team.
  • “Last I checked this was a team meeting, not a gossip circle.”
  • “If any of you so much as look at the Terrapins on your way past their benches I’ll let you walk home from here.”
  • “Some people are just hardwired to be stupid.”
  • Neil had never seen Wymack smile like this. It was small but fierce, as angry as it was proud.
  • “Why did you pay for stalls, Coach?”
    • Wymack lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Maybe I knew you’d need them one day.”
  • Nicky pulled the window down to yell insults, but Wymack threatened him into silence.
  • Wymack pulled a bottle of vodka out of the bag and put it down beside Kevin. “You have ten seconds to inhale as much of this as you can. I’m timing you. Go.”
  • Wymack turned on Neil. “Did you or did you not tell me you weren’t going to start a fight?”
  • “What can I do?” Wymack asked.
    • …”I don’t know,” Neil said.
    • “When you know, tell me.”
  • “Go forth,” Wymack told his Foxes. “Have fun. Or don’t. I don’t care. Just no more fighting, you got me?”
  • “Andrew spent that night here with me. At first I figured he was mad at Kevin for lying to him, but he was more worked up about you.”
  • “I didn’t ask for an apology, wiseass.”
  • Wymack stared at him for an endless minute, then said too quietly, “The fuck did you just say to me?”
  • “He chose to cross a line. You didn’t. You hear me? You didn’t. Don’t ever blame yourself for Seth’s death.”
  • Wymack kept Neil away from the microphone, not trusting Neil to behave himself.
  • “Five points or twenty-six miles. Do the math and decide which one makes you happier.”
  • “Let’s do this,” he said. “The sooner we kill these bastards, the sooner we can get roaring drunk at Abby’s place. I spent all damned morning stocking her fridge.”
  • “I have a cleaning crew coming in tomorrow to wash the Raven stench off our court. Let’s get the hell out of here and get wasted.”
  • “Neil,” Wymack said. “Between you and me, I don’t think you’ve ever been fine.”
  • “Nicky tried to hug Andrew and almost got himself staked with a kitchen knife.”
  • “Speaking of unpredictable assholes, when did that happen?”
    • “When did what?” Neil asked.
    • Wymack eyed him. “Forget it.”
  • “Figure out what you two need to cope with this, and let us know.”
  • “I want one lap for every time you’ve ever said the NCAA’s never had your back.”
    • “Oh, Jesus,” Nicky said. “We’ll be running all day.”
    • “Better get started, then,” Wymack said. “Move out, maggots.”
  • “Be here at six o’clock tomorrow morning,” Wymack said. “We’ve got a game to win Friday.”
  • [Nicky]: “I can’t understand you. That’s not fair.”
    • “Think about that the next time you use German at my practices,” Wymack said.
  • Wymack came out of nowhere and hauled Neil off Riko like he weighed nothing at all.
  • Wymack answered on the fourth ring. “You have a good reason to be bothering me on a holiday?”
  • “He sounds like Neil,” Wymack said, “but he doesn’t look like him. I’ll take your explanation from the top and without a side order of bullshit, thanks.”
  • He stopped fighting to get free; the hands that had been trying to wrench Wymack’s arms off him now held on for dear life.
  • “Can I let go of you and trust you to behave, or are you going to try and cut your face off again?”
  • Wymack didn’t say anything about the scars… He just checked Neil over with a clinical eye and poked at every line of stitches for weaknesses.
  • “He gave me a contract but I wouldn’t sign it. He couldn’t make me sign it. This doesn’t mean anything. I’m still a Fox.”
    • “Of course you are,” Wymack said.

and of course, mine and everyone else’s personal favorite:

  • “Help me,” he said through gritted teeth.”
    • “Let me,” Wymack shot back.
  • People: I can't believe Damien's not a Slytherin!
  • Me: What? Have you ever met a LESS ambitious person? He could do literally anything he wanted to the world. He could start or end wars. He could restructure the government. He could end hunger and poverty. He could appoint himself king of everything. And what does he do? He skips lines and makes people tell him their secrets!
make fic commissions A Thing 20K17

I really really want to see fanfic commissions become more of A Thing .  It’s absolutely something I’d pay for, and something that should most certainly be as common as fanart commissions. 

I can see it being mutually beneficial in more ways then one.

 The commissioner gets to read the idea that they really want to see happen . How many times have you come up with a something and been like, man I wish someone would write this??

 The writer gets paid for their work, but it could also help them creatively if ever they were in a rut. Plus they have a guaranteed audience. even if it’s just one person, sometimes that’s all you need to get going. 

 So any writers out there who might be reading this: consider it. you are good enough. 

I was doing you a favor by playing the long game...

I too was playing yet another long game by holding on to this for so long.

SO I had read earlier today the owner of a previous job of mine passed away. This was a place that tried to screw me pretty hard and I took some pro revenge on. It drug up some angry old feelings, so why not take an equal dose of catharsis?

WARNING: This is a doozy so strap in if you dare, no TL;DR it wouldn’t do justice.

So this takes place almost a decade ago. I was working as a department manager for a fairly large privately owned pest control company. Their color scheme was black and yellow, much like the taxi’s the owner’s dad used to drive. Since the taxi industry would be around for ever(hello Uber/Lyft) so would this pest control company, (this is important later) or so the owner used to parrot constantly. My job was to over see the techs doing treatments and set their stops and generally manage assorted insect control services, inventory, payroll for that dept, etc etc. I had taken the job from the owners son who took it from the previous manager who they demoted and yet stayed in the dept…this is important later. The owners son was a late 30’s early 40’s man child. I mean if he had dialed it back a few degrees he would have been an awesome guy, but anytime booze was involved he was a mess. If it was weed, he turned into the stereo typical obnoxious stoner making nothing but bad Jamaican accented jokes. He also hit on anything younger than him that moved…while being married w a pregnant wife. But I digress, the owner was a piece of work too, old Jewish guy who was as racist as he was old, not with any kind of seething hatred. Just a “this is the way it is” type attitude. My fave line of his, “The sky is blue, Ch#@ks know math, N@&ers are lazy, Jews know gold. What else is new” Like it was the most clever thing of all time. Finally now on to the revenge and need for such.

Keep reading

Paperhat parenting headcanons:

Dr.Flug:

-Someone has to put a dime in the swear jar!

BH:

-What the fuck did you just say?!

Dr.Flug:

-M.D. move your butt over here right now young man!

BH:

-M.D move your ass over here in this second you little punk!

Dr.Flug:

-Psycha,stop running around the lab,you’ll hurt yourself!

BH:

-Psycha stop running around or I’ll hurt YOU!

Dr.Flug:

-I am NOT one of your little friends,you will not speak like that to me!

BH:

-I’m not one of your little punk ass friends, you better watch who the hell you’re talking to.

Dr.Flug:

-you are GROUNDED young man!

BH:

-you are punished until further notice.

Dr.Flug:

-No TV for a week!

BH:

-Don’t ask me to do shit until I say you can.

Dr.Flug:

-I want to be your friend.

BH:

-I am a parent first,friend second.

Dr.Flug:

-I am going to count to three! 1!

BH:

-1!

Dr.Flug:

-2!

BH:

-2!

Dr.Flug:

-2 and a half! 2 and three quarters!

BH:

-3!

Dr.Flug:

*crush noises*

-This is why we can’t have nice things.

BH:

-You’re always fucking shit up in my house!

Dr.Flug:

-You can’t do whatever you want all the time! You have to respect some rules!

BH:

-My roof,my rules. If you don’t like my rules,then go find other rules to like.

Dr.Flug:

-You do not pay for anything in this household, so you better not act like it.

BH:

-Please name one of the bills that you pay in my house.

Dr.Flug:

-Do not speak to your father that way!

BH:

-Who in the seven gates of blue and green hell do you think you’re talking to?!

Dr.Flug. :

-Do not make me get physical with you!

BH:

-Flug may have brought you into this world,but I’LL be the one to take you out.


Dr.Flug:

-Black hat said no? It’ll be our little secret.

BH:

-Flug said no? Then the answer is no.

Dr.Flug:

-I think you have misplaced your mind!

BH:

-You either respect me,or you’ll respect the streets!

Dr.Flug:

-You’ll catch a cold if you don’t put your coat on.

BH:

-If you get sick we don’t have money for hospital, go put on your coat!

Dr.Flug:

-Well,who is this fine young man!

BH:

-Who the hell is this punk? Matter of fact, I don’t even care,you don’t see him anymore.

Dr.Flug:

-Do not talk back to me!

BH:

-You can continue to talk back to me,or you can spend your afternoon picking your teeths up from the floor.

Dr.Flug:

-You have to learn some responsibility!

BH:

-You want something, you will work for it!

Dr.Flug:

-That outfit is a little inappropriate, don’t you think?

BH:

-You’re going outside? Not looking like Medusa on crack, you aren’t.

Dr. Flug

- Don’t you think you’re a little bit too young to have a boyfriend?

BH:

-You have a boyfriend? No I don’t think you have a boyfriend. You’re a child,stay in a child’s place.

Dr. Flug:

-Someone Bobby’s parents let him do it? Hmm,okay then.

BH:

-Look,I’m not Bobby’s father,I’m not Sussy’s father,I’m not Billy’s father,I am YOUR father. You can do whatever the hell you want to do in THEIR motherfucking house,but if you live under my roof,you follow MY rules.

Dr. Flug:

-Well,you already have two video games…but I guess one more wouldn’t ruin it.

BH:

-Don’t look at the shit,don’t touch that shit,Don’t breath on that shit,don’t talk about that shit, cause you aren’t getting that shit!

Dr.Flug

*on the phone*

-Yes,I understand-w-wait a second sir,yes what is it,honey? Yes,yes you can go. Yes,sorry about that!

BH:

-CAN’T YOU SEE I’M TALKING ON THE PHONE?! yeah,sorry about that Syndrome.

Dr. Flug:

-I don’t appreciate the hostile attitude.

BH:

-When you act up,is when you get beat UP.

Dr. Flug:

-I’m sorry,I didn’t quite catched that. Did you say ’ no video games for a week?“

BH:

-I don’t think I heard you correctly,did you say ‘Knock me out into the next week?’

Dr. Flug:

-A party? Okay,don’t do something I wouldn’t do!

BH:

-Don’t do no drinking while you’re in there,drinking leads to sex,and sex leads to babies,and babies leads to trouble,and trouble leads to get the fuck out of my house!

Dr.Flug.

-This room is like a trash can!

BH:

-I told you to clean your room last week. WHY THE FUCK AREN’T YOU CLEANING YOUR ROOM?! I DON’T CARE THAT 5.0.5 TOLD YOU HE WOULD CLEAN IT, 'SERVANT’ ISN’T WROTE DOWN ON HIS FOREHEAD!

Dr.Flug.

-you broke your leg?! How?!

BH:

-Bet you wouldn’t do this stupid shit again,huh?

Dr.Flug.

-When you’ll get older you’ll understand. You don’t get many things now, you’re too young. You may hate us now,but we’re doing it for you.

BH:

-When you’re old enough to move out of my house,you can live by your own rules. But at the moment, you’re my responsibility, and I have to take care of you.You can hate me now,but you’ll thank me later.

Dr. Flug:

-I love you.

BH:

-I love you.

★*゚‘゚・The Mummy (1999)

❝ What are you doing here? ❞
❝ You must go. Save yourself. Only you can resurrect me. ❞
❝ By eating the sacred scarabs, I would be cursed to stay alive forever. And by eating me, they were cursed just the same. ❞
❝ I knew this was gonna be a lousy day. ❞
❝ Personally, I would like to surrender. Why can we not just surrender? ❞
❝ Then let’s run away. Right now. While we can still make it. ❞
❝ Now gimme your revolver, you’ll never use it anyway. ❞
❝ Let’s play dead, huh? Nobody ever does that anymore. ❞
❝ What are ya doing?! Wait up! ❞
❝ I’m gonna get you for this! ❞
❝ I’m sorry, it was an accident. ❞
❝ Have you no respect for the dead? ❞
❝ Where did you get this? ❞
❝ Two questions. Who the hell is Seti the First? And was he rich? ❞
❝ As the Americans would say: it’s all fairy tales and hokum. ❞
❝ I’m sure it was a fake, anyway. ❞
❝ You lied to me! ❞
❝ I lie to everybody, what makes you so special? ❞
❝ And what is he in prison for? ❞
❝ He said… he was just looking for a good time. ❞
❝ What did you find? What did you see? ❞
❝ Get me the hell outta here. ❞
❝ I will give you one hundred pounds to spare his life. ❞
❝ Yeah, I’d like ya to let me go. ❞
❝ Then we will kill her, we will kill her and all those with her. ❞
❝ For all the money we’re paying you, something better god-damned well be under that sand. ❞
❝ Do you really think he’ll show up? ❞
❝ Personally, I think he’s filthy, rude and a complete scoundrel. I don’t like him one bit. ❞
❝ I have come to protect my investment, thank you very much. ❞
❝ I only gamble with my life, never my money. ❞
❝ What makes you so confident, sir? ❞
❝ Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya. ❞
❝ Still angry that I kissed ya, huh? ❞
❝ The last time I was at that place everybody I was with died.  ❞
❝ By the way,… why did you kiss me? ❞
❝ You always did have more balls than brains. ❞
❝ Can you swim? ❞
❝ Americans. ❞
❝ I can’t believe the price of these fleabags. ❞
❝ All night you snored!  ❞
❝ What in bloody hell is this? ❞
❝ Ah, begging your pardon, but shouldn’t we be going? ❞
❝ You boys owe me five hundred dollars. ❞
❝ Where’d all these camels come from? ❞
❝ That thing gives me the creeps. ❞
❝ What are those mirrors for? ❞
❝ Who cares? I don’t see no treasure. ❞
❝ You’re welcome to my share of the spider webs. ❞
❝ Mummies, my good son, this is where they made the mummies. ❞
❝ Ya scared the bejeezus out of us. ❞
❝ I’ve had worse. ❞
❝ Let’s be nice, children, if we’re going to play together, we must learn to share. ❞
❝And when those dirty Yanks go to sleep – No offence. ❞
❝ We’ll sneak up and steal that book right out from under them. ❞
❝ What do you suppose killed him? ❞
❝ I believe if I can see it and I  can touch it, then it’s real. That’s what I believe. ❞
❝ Why do you like to fight so much? ❞
❝ LEAVE THIS PLACE!… LEAVE THIS PLACE DIE! ❞
❝ For them to protect it like this, you just know there’s got to be treasure down there. ❞
❝ …I am a librarian! ❞
❝ I can’t believe I allowed the two of you to get me drunk. ❞
❝ You dream about dead guys? ❞
❝ Stupid superstitious bastard. ❞
❝ Oh my god, he was buried alive. ❞
❝ What are you going to do? Shoot him? ❞
❝ Did you see that!? Grasshoppers! Billions of grasshoppers! ❞
❝ That’s one of the plagues, right? The grasshopper plague! ❞
❝ Oh thank goodness, you’re one of the Americans, aren’t you? ❞
❝ RUN, YOU SONS-A-BITCHES! RUUUUN! ❞
❝ Help me,… please,… help me. ❞
❝ No mortal weapons can kill this creature. He is not of this world. ❞
❝ You left me! You left me in the desert to rot. ❞
❝ Sweet Jesus! That tasted just like,…like… ❞
❝ You saved me from the undead. For this, I shall make you immortal. ❞
❝ There’s only one person I know who can possibly give us some answers. ❞
❝ And you think this justifies killing innocent people!? ❞
❝ Okay, let’s cut to the chase. He’s afraid of cats, what’s that about? ❞
❝ The hell with that! I’m not goin’ nowhere! We’re safe here. ❞
❝ What friend? You’re my only friend. ❞
❝ What are you looking for? Lie, and I’ll slit your throat. ❞
❝ Something about bringing his dead girly-friend back to life. He needs the book… ❞
❝ Ya know, ever since I met you, my luck has been for crap. ❞
❝ The hell with this. I’m goin, downstairs to get me a drink. You want somethin’? ❞
❝ Yeah, get me a glass of bourbon, a shot of bourbon and a bourbon chaser. ❞
❝ Jealous? You kiddin’ me? Did you see that guy’s face? ❞
❝ Is it dangerous? ❞
❝ Save the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy and steal his treasure. ❞
❝ You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself, always get their comeuppance. ❞
❝ From now on, don’t touch anything. Not a damn thing. Keep your hands off the furniture, got it? ❞
❝ He wants your heart and your brain, your liver, your kidneys… ❞
❝ I never killed a priest before. ❞
❝ Kill them! Kill them all! And bring me the Book Of The Living! ❞
❝ This just keeps gettin, better and better. ❞
❝ Death is only the beginning. ❞
❝ Well,… I guess we go home empty handed. ❞

anonymous asked:

FYI: 8 reasons why CR7 is the GOAT, therefore better than Messi. - CR7 is a better overall goals scorer. Better goals per game ratio than Messi. - CR7 is a better free- kick scorer. - Messi never prove himself outside Barca. CR7 makes his team better. Messi always rely on Xavi and Iniesta. - Messi constantly dissapears with Argentina when his team need him. - Messi usually dissapears in relevant Champion' matches. - CR7 is a better header scorer. (To be continue)

(part 2:) - CR7 is a player with more goals and assists in the history of CL, he is more decisive in this competition. - CR7 is more decisive with his national team. In WC 2010 Messi score 0 goal even North Korea score more than him. In WC 2014 only scored in a group stage. Don’t mention Copa America, he just scored 1 goals and next year missed penalty. All the greatest players of all times have won with their national team. But Messi won’t. I hope this informations will get in your head. Keep crying.

I’ve avoided getting involved in this “debate” over the last few years or so, but since you took so much effort in trying to convince me of something that isn’t even an argument to me, I have some time & I’m more than happy pay you the same courtesy in explaining to you with facts why this is so. Let’s do it by looking at each of the points you’ve included this so-called “information” I’m supposed to “get in my head”:

► “CR7 is a better overall goals scorer. Better goals per game ratio than Messi.

False.

All-time, club and country?

  • CR: 595 goals/852 matches = 0.70 goal ratio
  • Messi: 562 goals/698 matches = 0.81 goal ratio

All-time, just club?

  • CR: 524 goals/714 matches = 0.73 goal ratio
  • Messi: 504 goals/581 matches = 0.87 goal ratio

All-time, just country?

  • CR:  71 goals / 138 matches = 0.51 goal ratio
  • Messi: 58 goals / 117 matches = 0.50 goal ratio

CR’s ratio is 0.01 higher and he has had 21 more international matches played than Messi. Alright. Collectively though, that 0.01 doesn’t make him “better overall”. 

Conversion rates since 2009:

  • CR’s conversion rate total/outside the box: 15% / 5%
  • Messi’s conversion rate total/outside the box: 21% / 9%

What about when they’ve been at their very best, goalscoring-wise? Most goals scored in a calendar year:

  • CR: 69 goals (ratio: 1.17)
  • Messi: 91 goals (ratio: 1.32)

Not only is Messi better in terms of quantity of goals, he is also a better goalscorer when context is considered. How do they perform under pressure/when the team needs them the most? From 2016:

  • CR conversion rate when team is winning / when team is losing or drawing: 25% / 6%
  • Messi conversion rate when team is winning / when team is losing or drawing: 22% / 20%

Here’s an infographic (although it’s only updated up to 2015) to help better illustrate the importance of context & goalscoring when it comes to Messi and Cristiano:

(credit to Grup 14 and Sarah)

Goals after 1 dribble/2 dribbles/3 dribbles/4 dribbles:

  • CR: 45 goals/10 goals/2 goals/0 goals
  • Messi: 115 goals/40 goals/15 goals/4 goals

Pre-assisted goals:

  • CR: 13 goals
  • Messi: 90 goals

► “CR7 is a better free-kick scorer.

Not quite

  • Since Messi and Ronaldo have been playing together in Spain (2009-10 season): 
    • CR has scored 20 goals in 291 attempts. This creates a conversion rate 6.87%.
    • Messi scored 17 free-kick goals with 212 attempts, creating a conversion rate of 8.02%.
  • Since 2012: 
    • CR has scored 17; conversion rate = 7%, 
    • Messi has scored 23; conversion rate = 10.5%
  • Even more recent, just for fun: 
    • Messi has scored 3 free-kicks in 2017 alone
    • CR has converted only 3 since 2015.

What about in big matches?

  • Total free-kick goals in El Clasico: 
    • Messi = 2
    • CR = 0
  • Messi’s total free-kick goals in World Cup and Copa America matches: 2 
    • CA = 1 (vs. Panama)
    • WC = 1 (vs. Nigeria) 
  • CR’s total free-kick goals in World Cup & Euro matches: 0. 
    • With 43 attempts. On average, he has had a shot from a direct free-kick every 67 minutes he has been on the pitch (with a total of 2,884 minutes at major international tournaments) and has a ZERO PERCENT conversion rate.

► “Messi never proved himself outside Barca.”

The old “but can he do it on a cold, wet Tuesday night in Stoke?” argument is easy to lean on because he hasn’t, but it doesn’t change that it’s an extremely flawed argument. Let’s look at why - specifically England, where CR has proved himself outside of Spain since we’re doing a head-to-head comparison. 

  • Lionel Messi has scored more Champions League goals against English clubs than he has against sides from any other nation.
    • On the 25 occasions that he has lined up against English teams, Messi has scored a total of 16 goals. 
      • Arsenal - 9 goals in 6 matches. 
      • Manchester City - 5 goals in 5 matches. 
      • Manchester United - 2 goals (which helped Barcelona claim Champions League victories in Rome in 2009 and at Wembley Stadium in 2011

Never mind him having big performances against Bayern/Leverkusen, PSG/Lyon, AC Milan/Roma, Celtic/Rangers and etc. So, something tells me the kid from Rosario - who also played very well through the rough conditions he experienced there - CAN do it on cold, rainy night in Stoke. If you think he cannot simply because he hasn’t, that’s up to you. You’re entitled to your opinion. But the stats tell us another story.

► “CR7 makes his team better.”

Sure he does, he is one of football’s greatest. But Messi makes his even better

Messi’s total major club trophies: 29 TOTAL (including 2 trebles, one of those years winning the sextuple)

  • 8 League championships
  • 4 Champions Leagues
  • 4 Copas del Rey
  • 3 UEFA Supercups
  • 3 Club World Cups
  • 7 Supercopas de España

CR total major club trophies (RM+Manchester United): 16 TOTAL

  • 4 League championships
  • 2 Copas del Rey
  • 2 Champions Leagues
  • 1 Supercopa de España
  • 1 FA Cup
  • 1 EFL Cup
  • 1 Community Shield
  • 3 Club World Cups
  • 1 Super Cup 

Stats since 2009, when Messi and CR started playing together in the same league:

  • CR + RM: 9 major Trophies
    • + 1 Liga
    • + 2 Copas del Rey
    • + 2 Champions Leagues
    • + 1 Supercopa de España
    • + 2 Club World Cups
    • + 1 Super Cup
  • Messi + Barça: 20 major trophies
    • + 5 Ligas
    • + 3 Copas del Rey
    • + 2 Champions Leagues
    • + 5 Supercopas de España
    • + 3 Club World Cups
    • + 2 UEFA Super Cups

All-time assists, club and country:

  • CR: 195, in 852 matches
  • Messi: 230, in 698 matches

    ► “Messi always relies on Xavi and Iniesta.

    Another archaic myth that Messi has destroyed year after year. Crazy that people are still hanging on to this, even after Xavi has been gone for two years now and Iniesta has been on/off form while dealing with playing in/out of position. Meanwhile, Messi has continued to improve and remain the greatest. 

    This myth seemingly makes sense due to Messi’s lack of titles with Argentina compared to his achievements at Barca - but again, this is a very flawed argument. Messi is the greatest player in the world and Xavi/Iniesta are two of the greatest midfielders/were one of the greatest midfield duos of this generation. Together, the three of them contributed to a Barça that won everything a club can within a short span of time. But how can we say in the same sentence that “Barça is only successful because they rely on Messi” AND “Messi is only successful because he relies on Xavi/Iniesta”? Grasping at straws like this really isn’t necessary, because the truth of the matter is that they simply formed a brilliant partnership together. Barcelona successfully utilized the talents of these incredible players together to succeed. Some facts to further debunk this:

    • During Messi’s record breaking year when he scored 91 goals, he was assisted only eight times by Iniesta and five times by Xavi. 
    • Neither Xavi nor Iniesta have even assisted Messi the most in his career. It’s Dani Alves. 
    • Messi continues to have the most Barcelona assists himself since 2003/2004. At Barcelona, he has more assists alone than Iniesta and Xavi combined in their club careers.

    But maybe assists alone cannot determine the impact Xavi or Iniesta has on Messi. Alright, what about pre-assisted goals (goals pre-assisted by the scorer)?

    • As we said before, as of 2016, 90 of Messi’s goals were pre-assisted. This means that in ~23% of his goals, he started the play with key passes that ended up back with him scoring. 
    • While CR, surrounded by Modric, Kroos, Ozil, Di Maria, etc. (I’m not sure why people like to act like he hasn’t been surrounded by top players) throughout his career sits at 13 pre-assisted goals. 

    Not convinced? Then let’s look at Messi’s performances for Argentina, where he has no Xavi/Iniesta. You said….

    ► “Messi constantly disappears with Argentina when his team need him. CR7 is more decisive with his national team.

    Which is again, false. Of all the big name players that play for Argentina, you call the man who is, for his national team, the…

    • Top scorer in all international competitions, including friendlies
    • Top scorer in International friendlies
    • Top scorer from the penalty spot
    • Top scorer in all U-20 international competitions
    • Top scorer in FIFA World Cup qualification
    • Top scorer when looking at goals scored in one calendar year
    • Top hat-trick scorer in all international competitions, including friendlies
    • Top assister in all international competitions, including friendlies
    • Only player that have scored against all 9 South American Nations
    • Key contributor in terms of keeping possession, averaging 63 passes per game and converting 86.2 percent.

    “disappearing”, “dependent on Xavi/Iniesta” and "indecisive”?

    • Argentina’s National Team Win % in 2014 and 2018 World Cup Qualification with Messi: 65%
    • Without Messi? 22%.

      Not quite. 

      I would suggest reading and watching [this analysis] for a better perspective on this. There is a video there which compares how Messi plays for Argentina and how he plays for Barcelona and it reveals that there isn’t much difference between how he plays for both sides, but there is a difference in the behaviour of his teammates. The confidence that Messi receives from his teammates in Barcelona is far different from what he is offered by his teammates in Argentina. As I said before, Barcelona has been able to successfully utilize Messi’s talents/abilities and have reaped every award there is because of it - something Argentina has failed to take advantage of so far. 

      In regards to CR with this, a reminder:

      • CR goals international: 71 goals / 138 matches = 0.51 goal ratio
      • Messi goals: 58 goals / 117 matches = 0.50 goal ratio

      A difference of 0.01, with CR playing 21 more international games.

      International Assists?

      • CR: 23
      • Messi: 37 (in 21 less matches)

      International Goal Participation?

      • CR: Every 113m + 25s
      • Messi: Every 99m + 12s

      ► “In WC 2010 Messi score 0 goal even North Korea score more than him. In WC 2014 only scored in a group stage. Don’t mention Copa America, he just scored 1 goals and next year missed penalty.”

      It’s true that Messi didn’t score in WC 2010. He did get an assist (the same amount as CR in the tournament) and was named MOTM once (the same number of times as CR in the tournament). Funny you should mention North Korea though, the ONLY team Ronaldo scored against in WC 2010. Once. After Portugal was already up 6-0. 

      Also, I’m not sure which WC 2014 you were watching. I was watching the one where Ronaldo’s only goal in this tournament was also in the group stage (against Ghana), while Messi scored four times in the group stages, assisted Di Maria’s goal which carried them in the round of 16, and carried his team to the final. 

      And lol ”don’t mention Copa America”? Why? Because Leo carried his team to the final twice in two years?

      In 2015:

      • 1 goal, 2 penalties (including the ONLY one of his teammates to do so in the final) 
      • 3 assists

      In 2016: 

      • 5 goals 
      • 4 assists
        • (If you want to compare to CR’s Euro 2016, where he scored 3 and assisted 3). 
      • Again, carried his team to the final. But sure, summarize the tournament as a “missed penalty” to fit your narrative. 

      Also worth mentioning that in 2007, at age 20, he also set up the game winning goal against the US in the opening 4-1 win, scored the game-tying first goal vs Colombia in their 4-2 win, assisted their only goal against Paraguay in the beginning of the knockout stage, scored the second goal in their quarter-final victory, and another in their 3-0 semifinal win - which lead to the first of the three Copa America finals he’s played in. 

      ► “CR7 is a better header scorer.

      Yes, a 6′1 CR is better at scoring headers than a 5′7 Messi (*pretends to be shocked*). CR just passed Aduriz for this record a few months ago actually, which isn’t surprising - Cristiano has shown he’s very good in the air. Nobody is denying that Cristiano has great qualities as a player. But as I’m sure you would agree, this argument alone, does not cement anyone as the greatest of all time. Also notable to mention that Barça as a team - tactics/style kept in mind - score less headers. Next. 

      ► “Messi disappears in relevant Champions League matches.

      Did you even try with this one? A few examples of how wrong this is off the top of my head? 

      UCL Final vs. Manchester United, 2009

      UCL Quarterfinals vs. Arsenal, 2010

      • Scored four goals in the second leg, the first three in just 21 minutes

      UCL Semifinals vs. Real Madrid, 2011

      • Scored twice in ten minutes in the first leg. We advanced to the final 3-1 on aggregate. 

      UCL Final vs. Manchester United, 2011

      UCL Semifinals vs. Bayern, 2015

      • Nobody will ever forget his two goals in this extremely ‘relevant’ match, as you put it.
      • Was also at the heart of Neymar’s second goal in the second leg.

      UCL Final at Berlin against Juventus, 2015

      • Messi’s pass to Alba sparked the first goal scored by Rakitic
      • Messi was at the heart of the counter attack which gave Barca the lead again.
      • He wasn’t on the scoresheet, but he made his presence felt.

      It’s true that our last two Champions League tournaments were not what we hoped they would be, but in our ‘relevant’ matches then, Leo still scored 3 against Arsenal over both legs and scored a crucial penalty in our historic PSG comeback this year.

      I couldn’t help but notice how you didn’t have a counter-response about CR and ‘relevant’ CL matches. Could it have to do with numbers like this, from last season?:

      ^ (And again, credit to Sarah for this.)

      And speaking of ‘relevant’ matches, why not mention ‘relevant’ league matches?

      Credit to Grup 14 for the graph. Messi’s line (higher than CR’s in all aspects) shows a relatively steady performance in games (goals/assists) that isn’t affected by the quality of the opposition - so he’s there (more or less) regardless of ‘relevance’ of the match. Meanwhile, as we can see, CR follows an obvious increase in performance as the quality of the opposing team decreases.

      ► “CR7 is a player with more goals and assists in the history of CL, he is more decisive in this competition

      CR does have an advantage when it comes to assists in this competition (37 in 145 vs. Messi’s 25 in 115) - the only competition which he surpasses Messi in assists. And I’m certainly not denying that he’s decisive in this competition. Nobody could.

      But with goals:

      • CR: 104 goals in 145 games = 0.72 goals/game
      • Messi: 94 goals in 115 games = 0.82 goals/game

      And ultimately, titles:

      • CR: 3
      • Messi: 4

       ► “All the greatest players of all times have won with their national team. But Messi won’t.

      Cruyff. Raul. Puskas. Eusebio. Zico. Maldini. Ballack. Bergkamp. Figo. Gascoigne. Laudrup. And the list goes on.

      The greatness of these players, all who have never won an international title, are not questioned. A list Cristiano was also on just last year. Did you create this entire argument after the goal Eder scored, which CR watched from the bench?Did that moment make you believe it can overshadow all of the facts above? 

      If you want to get technical, Messi won with Argentina in 2008, when he became an olympic champion and was highlighted as one of the standout players in the tournament. 

      Neither CR nor Leo has lead their team to a World Cup. 

      But it is true that Messi hasn’t won a Copa America, despite playing in 3 finals and standing out in each one of those tournaments. 

      ► Other:

      • Most Ballons d'Or (5): Messi
      • Most consecutive Ballons d'Or (4): Messi
      • Most goals in La Liga history (347): Messi
      • Most assists in La Liga history (137): Messi
      • Most goals scored in a La Liga season (50): Messi
      • Most goals scored in a club season (73): Messi
      • Most goals in El Clasico history (23): Messi
      • Most assists in El Clasico history (13): Messi

      All I have to say is that if after going through the facts, doing some reading (some suggestions = Lionel Messi is ImpossibleBeyond stats and stunts - The gulf between Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo widened in 2016Lionel Messi vs Cristiano Ronaldo - Who’s the best goalscorer?Messi vs Cristiano Ronaldo - What defines a big-game player?, and the Messi vs. Ronaldo resource), some watching/listening (check out Lionel Messi - The World’s GreatestCruijffCast - Episode 7 - Messi x Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi vs. No Space, and Lionel Messi - The 10 Smartest Skills Without Touching the Ball), and maybe just watching some of Messi’s matches that will show you the things stats can’t fully capture… if you believe that headers in a differing styles of play and one international title can justify your entire argument, then there’s no more convincing I can do. This is why I like to stay out of this debate these days. Because for me, although CR is undoubtedly one of the great players of this generation, the greatest of all time isn’t debatable. 

      So if you haven’t guessed it by now, there are no tears over here. If you need a tissue though, let me know!

      Temptation: Chapter 1 (M)

      A one-shot for a lovely anon. Enjoy it mate ;)

      Moodboard

      Jungkook and Reader

      Genre: Werewolf! Jungkook, smut

      Word count: 4,126 words

      ~•~•~•~

      Bang. Bang. Bang.

      “Jungkook!”

      No answer.

      BANG. BANG. BANG.

      “Jungkook!”

      Still no answer. You didn’t care that an old lady walking behind you gave you a very dirty look before shuffling down the corridor to her own apartment. It was only the manners instilled by your parents that stopped you from shooting daggers right back at her.

      BANG! BANG! BANG!

      “JEON JUNGKOOK! Open the fucking door right now or I -”

      Your shouts as well as your fist froze in mid-air when the door whipped open to reveal the man whose name you’d been yelling at the top of your lungs.

      “Why the hell are you banging my door down?” Jungkook’s frown and his tone told you that he was irritated, which fueled your anger even more. He had no right to be annoyed at you after the shit he had put you through today.

      “Why weren’t you at work?” You managed to lower your volume now that there wasn’t a door separating the two of you, but you made sure that he knew how angry you were.

      “I took a day off, but I’m sure you could have gotten that information from the HR.”

      His flippant answer didn’t impress you one bit. “You know that isn’t what I’m talking about.”

      “Then what are you talking about?” The question came out sounding incredulous, but you didn’t miss the uncomfortable shuffling of the guilty man. He knew what you were talking about. Before you could point it out, however, a high-pitched woman’s voice called from inside his apartment.

      “Who’s at the door, babe? Come back to bed, I can’t wait anymore!”

      Keep reading