why do i have to feel guilty

anonymous asked:

I think I'm going to delete my Tumblr. I'm so tired of coming on here and being forced to feel guilty for being white. I hate being categorized as racist simply because I'm white. I can agree that there is no reverse racism but there is racism towards white people and it's just not acknowledged because apparently it's okay to be racist towards white people ya know cause they're white. I just don't understand why white is always used in a negative way.

  1. reverse racism doesn’t exist, so therefore racism against white’s is not a thing. there is prejudice and there are stereotypes against them, but you cannot be racist. racism is a power construct. 
  2. i’m sorry you feel that way. but if you feel guilty for being white, that is an internal issue. if you have genuinely experienced someone saying “i do not like you because you’re white” or have been directly addressed to by someone saying “you’re at fault for my slavery” or some wild shit like that, then that’s one thing. but, if you feel guilty, without someone giving you a DIRECT reason to feel guilty, then it’s because YOU feel guilty because of something you’ve done, either knowing or maybe not knowing. if you are not racist, then you shouldn’t feel guilt, no matter what anyone says about or to you. if you feel guilty, it’s because you have a reason to. 

ultimately it’s your choice what you do with your tumblr. but, quite frankly, i’m over with the “i feel guilty for being white” narrative. that’s a you issue that you need to work on. 

just to touch on what Quaint said, because I agree with her- which is rare because I’ve seen a lot of posts with hers that have vastly different opinions and beliefs than mine…  which is the beauty of this point I’m about to make. just because you don’t agree with people, or don’t like what they say, or even what they do, doesn’t mean you have to hate the person and totally outcast them to the side. you can co-exist peacefully with people and be different. that’s a huge problem a lot of people seem to be having.

another thing(this is pertaining to the customs copying), MANY people on this tag should be feeling very guilty. you specifically come on this tag to bitch and complain and target people- WHY? because YOU 100% CANNOT DO THIS FREELY ON MWEORS ACTUAL SITE. WHY? because you would get banned. and you know it. you know it’s against the rules to do majority of the things you do on this tag. so a group of you- the main users who are mainly active on the site decide to find a loophole and use this tag to bully players. yes. I said bully.

If I was Kah, personally, I would be scouting this tag and if I ever found out what account number you are, I would be giving the proper penalties accordingly. Because even though this is tumblr… this is a tag about mweor. & a lot of you need to realize that once people type in this mweor tag and see the comments on here it can be VERY intimidating. And it does effect someone into staying or leaving. You need to learn how to handle your issues with someone privately. You don’t need to air out all your disagreements on the tag so that your friends can see and jump to your side and defend you. That’s when it becomes bullying.

when i was younger the way i felt about girls kissing was different. it made me uncomfortable, like i knew i shouldn’t hear my own heart skip. i remember watching boys kiss girls on tv and teaching myself “this is all i have”. i’m 24 and i still feel guilty when i think about how much i like girls. i hid it and hated it and i’m not even out to half of my friends. i couldn’t figure out why i felt certain things. i wrecked myself over it, made it hard for me to be in longterm relationships, made it hard to love without feeling like i’m doing the wrong thing.

but yesterday i was teaching a group of second graders. 

“i think i want a girlfriend,” she said to me. when a boy squawked “a girlfriend!” the other kids stood up for her instantly. “it’s normal!” “it’s okay if some people want different things.” “yeah, not everybody needs to like boys.” 

the boy shook his head and stared at me. “i don’t care it’s a girl” he said, with his hands in the air, “but we don’t even pay taxes, how is she thinking of getting married?”

“miss raquel,” she asked, “why does it look like you’re crying?”

° ✧ GAME OF THRONES PROMPTS. PART II.

possible triggers, read/reblog with caution.

SEASON FOUR :

❛ You lost, friend? ❜
❛ Forgive me for staring… ❜
❛ May I tell you a secret? ❜
❛ I’m here to welcome you to the capital… ❜
❛ How did that come to pass? ❜
❛ You don’t partake? ❜
❛ I was invited to the royal wedding. ❜
❛ I thought we were speaking truth. ❜
❛ The last time I was in the capital was many years ago. ❜
❛ I’ve heard rumors. ❜
❛ I wasn’t there. I don’t know what happened– ❜
❛ You must not have been very good at your job. ❜
❛ Do you intend to execute me or am I free to go? ❜
❛ You know what? You should come with us.  ❜
❛ You got money to pay for it? ❜
❛ You don’t seem to understand the situation. ❜
❛ I place far too much trust in you. ❜
❛ You murdered them and displayed their corpses. ❜
❛ You ready for a hunt? ❜
❛ Though you’re not the champion yet, are you? ❜
❛ I’m sure they have a spare costume. ❜
❛ I would like to keep what remains of my face. ❜
❛ This one is clearly mad with lust. ❜
❛ What good is an empty cup? Fill it. ❜
❛ If you want to live, we have to leave. ❜
❛ I’m not trying to trick you. ❜
❛ They’ll be following you, now. ❜
❛ Are you going to accept their offer? ❜
❛ I will not have you dying on my behalf! ❜
❛ You got to do all seven of the fuckers? ❜
❛ Call that a fight? ❜
❛ It means something to me. ❜
❛ They want to draw us out, pick us off a few at a time. ❜
❛ There's got to be a way to protect them. ❜
❛ Your hatred for my family is…rather well known. ❜
❛ You think we conspired together? ❜
❛ But you want something in return. ❜
❛ That must be hard for you to admit. ❜
❛ I will not disappoint you. ❜
❛ I will not gamble with your life. ❜
❛ I bring your enemies what they deserve. ❜
❛ You want to live the rest of your life in chains? ❜
❛ What do you think they’ll do to us? ❜
❛ We have no training, no weapons. ❜
❛ If you want it, you must take it. ❜
❛ I will answer injustice with justice. ❜

SEASON FIVE :

❛ Trial? I have confessed. ❜
❛ My point is, we don’t choose whom we love. ❜
❛ What I’m trying and failing to say… ❜
❛ I know what you’re trying to say. ❜
❛ I think a part of me always knew and I’m glad. ❜
❛ Do you have any last words? ❜
❛ Perhaps, even you are innocent of that. ❜
❛ I can not disobey my king’s command. ❜
❛ I’m not going to kill you. ❜
❛ You’re going to advise me. ❜
❛ I’m not going to be banished…  ❜
❛ We’re all the same to them, meat for their army. ❜
❛ Why should I spend my time listening to you? ❜
❛ I will have a very large army and very large dragons. ❜
❛ What will we find when we strip away your finery? ❜
❛ Let go of vanity, pride, sin. ❜
❛ Lies come easily to you, everyone knows that. ❜
❛ I just need a moment of your time. ❜
❛ How many centuries before we learn how to build cities like this again? ❜
❛ This is my home. And you can’t frighten me. ❜
❛ It takes courage to admit fear, and to admit a mistake. ❜
❛ I came here to you that I was wrong. ❜
❛ This isn’t a strange place, this is my home. ❜
❛ You’re going the wrong way. ❜
❛ What a waste of a good kidnapping. ❜
❛ So happens, I was heading there myself. ❜
❛ The dead don’t need lovers, only the living. ❜
❛ Don’t you want to chase the rats out of it? ❜
❛ My place is here. ❜
❛ I’m giving you a chance to avenge your family. ❜
❛ I wish I could fight beside you. ❜
❛ I can imagine no higher praise. ❜
❛ I won’t try and dissuade you. ❜
❛ I’m sorry I’m always snapping at you. ❜
❛ If you didn’t snap at me I wouldn’t learn anything. ❜
❛ I’m going to show you how to ride properly. ❜
❛ I can teach you how to fight. ❜
❛ I suppose that’s more important. ❜
❛ You loved your family, avenge them. ❜
❛ There’s no justice in the world. Not unless we make it. ❜
❛ I don’t feel guilty. That’s what’s odd. ❜
❛ They don’t fear you, they don’t follow you.  ❜
❛ And how long will that be? ❜
❛ There are only two like it in the world. ❜
❛ You never told me why you set me free. ❜
❛ You’re not family, you owe me nothing. ❜

SEASON SIX :

❛ Everything they’ve taken from us, we’re going to take back. ❜
❛ It’s a good thing you’re not a boy/girl anymore. ❜
❛ That’s what I do. I drink and I know things. ❜
❛ I’m here to help. Don’t eat the help. ❜
❛ I’ve heard conflicting reports. ❜
❛ What kind of god would have a pecker that small? ❜
❛ My reign has just begun. ❜
❛ We make peace with our enemies, not our friends. ❜
❛ If you did know, you’re my enemy. ❜
❛ If you didn’t know, you’re an idiot. ❜
❛ Fuck justice then. We’ll get revenge. ❜
❛ Violence is a disease. ❜
❛ You’re shit at dying, you know that? ❜
❛ Trust me – if my soup didn’t kill you, nothing will. ❜
❛ We may as well be taking shits back here. ❜
❛ If you ever come back this way, I will execute you myself. ❜
❛ You don’t have to be here. ❜
❛ Perhaps we should take shelter. ❜
❛ Have you ever met the blackfish? ❜
❛ Why did we have to come here? ❜
❛ That is hardly your concern. ❜
❛ The gods have a plan for us all. ❜
❛ Have they hurt you? Have they mistreated you? ❜
❛ Is there no other way? ❜
❛ Come with me…now. The dead don’t rest. ❜
❛ I’m tired of fighting. It’s all I’ve done since I left home. ❜
❛ Where will you go? ❜
❛ After they stabbed you, where did you go? ❜
❛ What do you remember? ❜
❛ They obviously had help. ❜
❛ Next time I have an idea like that, punch me in the face. ❜
❛ If I lost my cock I would drink all the time. ❜
❛ Apologies for what you are about to see. ❜
❛ And we’re going to fight it in there? ❜
❛ Sinners don’t make demands, they make confessions. ❜
❛ I offer my services once again. ❜
❛ Help me get him/her inside. ❜
❛ I have never been much of a fighter. ❜
❛ The three eyed raven says there’s a war coming. ❜
❛ We have to cross here. ❜
❛ I can’t speak for the flames, but he’s/she’s gone. ❜
❛ If we don’t take back the north, we’ll never be safe. ❜
❛ I want you to help me, but I’ll do it myself if I have to. ❜
❛ Don’t you wish we could go back to the day we left?  ❜
❛ I want to scream at myself, “don’t go you idiot.” ❜
❛ That’s what you said. ❜
*
  • Naruto: Sasuke...
  • Sasuke: What
  • Naruto: Huh?
  • Naruto: Oh, nothing
  • Sasuke: You said my name
  • Naruto: Yeah, that's just something I got used to doing
  • Naruto: You know, after you left
  • Sasuke: ...
  • Naruto: Like, I'd look at our team picture... or a shooting star... or get really tired while training
  • Naruto: And then remember you and then, uh
  • Sasuke: ...
  • Naruto: Sometimes Sakura, Kakashi, Sai, or, like, someone would say something and it just reminded me of, of you, uh
  • Naruto: It's- rhe- rhe-
  • Sasuke: Rhetorical
  • Naruto: Un, that
  • Naruto: I said 'Sasuke' a lot, like, these past few years but you were never around and, um, I never expect anyone to respond because you're the only Sasuke I know and everyone else is, like, used to it so they don't say anything anyways and, and
  • Naruto: Stop looking at me like that, teme!
  • Naruto: It's all your fault, ya know
  • Sasuke: ...
  • Sasuke: Actually dobe, I don't know...
  • Sasuke: where to begin
  • Sasuke: What am I to you, again?
  • Naruto: *mutters* and he calls me an idiot
  • Naruto: How many times do I have to say it
  • Naruto: You're my friend
  • Sasuke: And...?
  • Naruto: My goal, my most important person, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, yatta yatta, we've been over this a million times already
  • Sasuke: *grinding his teeth and clenching his fists* so how do you. Feel. When we're together.
  • Naruto: Oh, uh
  • Naruto: It's really weird
  • Naruto: I get all giddy and, like, my stomach gets all... Twisty? Probably because you piss me off. Yeah, that's why my heart goes all *flails wildly* like that
  • Sasuke: I... See...
  • Sasuke: And do you feel that way about anyone else?
  • Naruto: Of course not
  • Naruto: You're my one and only
  • Naruto: uh
  • Naruto: friend
  • Naruto: Best Friend*
  • Sasuke: ...
  • Sasuke: Naruto
  • Naruto: Hm?
  • Sasuke: I'm leaving the village
  • Naruto: What?! Again?! WHY??
  • Sasuke: Let's call it a journey of redemption
  • Naruto: Redemption??
  • Naruto: Teme you're not... Like, no offense, but you don't feel guilty for anything, right? Because you didn't do anything without a good reason so...
  • Sasuke: Let's just say that
  • Sasuke: I'm 'guilty' in the same manner that you think we're just friends
  • Naruto: Huh?
  • Naruto: What does that mean?
  • Naruto: Sasuke, where are you going?
  • Sasuke: I have to pack. Good bye, my one and only
  • Sasuke: friend*

i wonder how much embarrassment is taught to me through social roles about when and how i should act and speak. i look at people that are “role models” who appear to be unembarrassed about terrible things. i have to explain to the children i teach that just because our president said that kind of thing, doesn’t mean we can, it’s hurtful, and you should say sorry.

oh i feel ashamed about many things. some things i deserve to be ashamed about; i am not perfect and never claimed to be. but i also wonder why for years i carried around tiny things: the times i was wrong when i spoke up in class, when i wore the wrong thing, when i laughed too loudly. 

now there are men who take up space, so effortlessly. i wonder, did their money buy them the kind of soul that they can be so terrible, so carefree? or were they taught it, taught that saying about wolves not caring of the opinion of sheep. were they not taught that wolves only survive by the pack, that no alpha wolf exists in the wild, that to be above is to be apart.

i am embarrassed i said a lame joke that fell flat because nobody got the gravity falls reference. i am embarrassed he opened the door while i was changing. am i like this because i am insecure, or because i was taught insecurity. why is it my shame when he’s the one who invaded my space. why do i feel i should be hiding my body.

when i pipe up that he shouldn’t say that about hispanics, about people like me, i feel shame when everyone stops laughing. when he follows me home, i feel shame about what i was wearing. i don’t stop to let someone at a yield sign go, and for hours i feel guilty. is this just me? or is it because i was taught: be considerate. be observant. watch for places you can be kind, put others first, be gentle, be aware. yes, he was mean to you, but be considerate. maybe he is having a bad day. yes, she pushed you, next time be considerate, get out of the way. be considerate, lower you voice, close your legs, dress nicer, be kind when you turn him down for the fourteenth time, take the date because you don’t want to crush him, let him talk down to you about whatever he wants to, be considerate.

what is it like, i wonder. to be so sure of yourself you cannot make a mistake. i speak up in class and am ashamed. there are men who stand their ground on things that are entirely fake. what is it like, i wonder. where can i buy that confidence. or is it denial. where did i learn this self-awareness and where can i return it. i don’t deserve to blush about things like smudged lipstick when there are people out there like donald trump.

Forget me not

Thaaaaank you @alwaysfangirly!! 💖 And omg, you’re so kind! And so patient! Because this took me forever and you were so sweet about it! 💖 I hope you like what I did with it! (Even though it might be kinda messy and confusing…) Oh, and I also posted it on AO3, because… well, once more, it turned out longer than I intended…



“Pansy, where was I yesterday?”

“What?”

“What was I doing? Did you see me talking to anyone?”

Draco paced the length of the eighth year common room, feeling Pansy’s intent stare on him.

“Those are really odd questions to ask. Have you lost your mind?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Draco muttered, stopping in front of the fireplace. “I think someone obliviated me. No, I am sure someone obliviated me.”

He heard Pansy get off the armchair and walk over to him.

“Are you sure? Why would someone do that to you?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Draco growled.

“But how can you be sure you’ve been obliviated? I mean, isn’t the point of obliviating someone that they… well, forget?”

Draco scratched the back of his neck, nodding absentmindedly.

“Something just felt off when I woke up this morning. I was sure it was Wednesday but then I saw the Daily Prophet and realised it was already Thursday. I remember everything until Tuesday night and waking up today. But if I try to think about what happened yesterday, my mind just goes blank. I’ve been racking my brain all day long. It’s the only explanation, Pansy. I-”

Draco stopped in his tracks when he saw Potter enter the common room. Something was… weird about him today. He didn’t look at Draco. He hadn’t looked at Draco all day. He always looked at Draco. He probably thought it went unnoticed but, of course, Draco noticed. He always stared right back whenever Potter briefly averted his eyes. Always. But why was Potter avoiding his gaze today?

“Potter!” Without a moment’s hesitation, he strode over to the Gryffindor.

“Hey Malfoy,” he mumbled, his eyes on the carpet.

“Potter, is there something you want to tell me?” Draco inquired, lowering his head to catch the other boy’s eye.

“No?” the Gryffindor said, his voice slightly shaking.

“I think there is. Out with it, Potter! Something happened yesterday, I know it.”

“You do?” Potter said in astonishment, finally looking up. His eyes were full of wonder and… apprehension. “But you shouldn’t-” He broke off, pressing his mouth into a thin line.

“I shouldn’t what?” Draco said, stepping closer and narrowing his eyes. “Remember? You did it, didn’t you? You were the one who obliviated me.”

Potter was trying very hard to keep a straight face, but Draco saw right through him.

“The question is,” he said slowly, lowering his voice, “why did you do it?”

Potter closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

“I’ve been feeling guilty about that all day. I shouldn’t have done it.”

“Then why did you?” Draco asked.

“I panicked, okay? I didn’t do it on purpose. It was like a reflex.”

Now Draco simply had to know what had happened the day before. This sounded serious.

“Show me,” he said, grabbing Potter by the wrist.

“How-”

“There’s got to be a Pensieve around here somewhere,” Draco muttered, already dragging Potter out of the common room.

“There is, actually,” Potter mumbled behind him.


Draco looked around the memory he and Potter had just dived into. They were in the dungeons and class had just started.

“Professor, why are you showing us Amortentia again?” one of the students asked, sounding more eager than annoyed.

“Because,” Professor Slughorn said with a smile, “I want you to brew an antidote today. So everyone take a quick sniff to get in the right mood and get started.”

Draco frowned as he watched himself go into the storage room, apparently ignoring Slughorn’s instructions. His eyes then fell on Potter, Pensieve-Potter to be precise, who stood in front of the cauldron full of Amortentia. Granger and the Weasel were standing beside him, grinning at each other. It was disgusting.

“What do you smell, Harry?” the Weasel asked. Potter blinked.

“Nothing.”

“Come on, we’re your friends. You can tell us,” the Weasel insisted, elbowing him.

“No, Ron, I literally smell nothing,” Potter muttered, sounding genuinely surprised.

“That’s strange,” Granger chimed in.

“Yeah.” Potter creased his eyebrows. “I would have thought-” He stopped abruptly as Draco, well, Pensieve-Draco, came into view again, locking eyes with him.

“Professor, have you ever heard of anyone who doesn’t smell anything? In regards to Amortentia, I mean.”

“Hermione,” Potter growled through gritted teeth.

“What, she didn’t say it was you,” the Weasel shrugged. Potter slapped a hand to his forehead and Draco saw himself smirk.

“You don’t smell anything, Potter? That’s pretty pathetic.” When Pensieve-Draco simply strutted back to his desk and began chopping his ingredients, the real Draco frowned.

“So that’s the big secret? This is why you obliviated me?” he asked.

“Wait for it,” Potter mumbled. Was Draco imagining it or were Potter’s cheeks turning a bit rosy? He was biting the inside of his cheek, too, and constantly shifting his weight. He was nervous.

Intrigued, Draco watched as the class proceeded without significant interruptions.

When Slughorn dismissed them and students started hurrying out of the classroom, Draco tapped his foot impatiently. He paused when he saw his past self purposely bump into Potter, causing the Gryffindor to drop all his books.

Smirking to himself, Pensieve-Draco bent down to help Pensieve-Potter pick up his things, quickly scanning the room. They were the only ones left.

“So, you really didn’t smell anything?” Draco heard himself ask. Pensieve-Potter just scowled at him. Draco could see what Pensieve-Potter obviously didn’t; Pensieve-Draco was disappointed. “Nothing at all?”

Getting up, Pensieve-Potter slammed down his books on the desk nearest to him.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I used to smell… something. So you can save your taunts about-”

“What is that?” Pensieve-Draco suddenly asked. Potter had been draping his Gryffindor scarf around his neck but had halted at the Slytherin’s outburst. The real Draco watched closely as his past self stretched out a hand and examined the scarf.

“What is it now?” Pensieve-Potter said, sounding irritated but also slightly nervous. “It’s my scarf.”

Pensieve-Draco slowly shook his head as he drew out his wand.

“No, something is off.” He pointed his wand at the scarf and before Potter could protest or interfere, he had mumbled, “Revelio.”

Keep reading

5

I whipped up a quick commission sheet since my old one was out of date, I dont like this one that much either but oh well! I need some money for a new tablet cord. also im hungry

How to commission me

  • send me an email at AlyssaEleftheriou@icloud.com
  • please include: commission type,full body character reference (unless its a bust) I will not take commissions if I need to draw your character completely from description, your tumblr URL, and the email linked to your paypal
  • After you receive the approval from me, please send me the correct amount of money to my paypal at Alyssaeleftheriou@icloud.com
  • I will draw it for you and I will send you process sketches if it is a full drawing, with your permission I will post the drawing on my tumblr.
  • thats it!!!

Can i request multiple characters in the same picture?

Sure! We can discuss the payment over email!

Why should I pay your before I get my product?

I am a poor college student and I have a lot of trust in you guys, but sadly there are a lot of dishonest ppl on the internet, plus if you pay me first you will 100% get your product ASAP due to my morality and me feeling guilty for not giving you anything back

How long will it take to get my art?

Like i said! Im a college student! so I have loadsssss of work to do, its first come first serve! So be patient with me! But i can guarantee that it will not take over a week once youve been approved

What dont you draw????

NSFW, complicated robots,  thats about it, I can draw suggestive things though!

What can you draw?

Gore, furries, people, animals, demons, mythological creatures, ocs, canon characters etc etc,

If you have any questions please contact me on my tumblr

The first time I tried to come out to someone I was ten years old and in primary school.
I told a person who was supposed to be one of my best friends. She listened.
The next day when I came to school she had told the twins; my other friends and they all laughed at me and avoided me for days on end. I knew there was something wrong with me then, see!?? So I told them I was just joking and of course I didn’t like girls that way, I’M NOT GAY!
The next time I tried, I told my cousin, my other best friend. She didn’t say a lot about it and just kind of changed the subject. The next time I saw her she asked me if I was being serious with a screwed up look on her face that hit me in the gut like disgust. I felt so sick, am I sick?! There is something so wrong with me. I told her no, of course I wasn’t, I’M NOT GAY, NO REALLY, DEFINITELY!
I started high school desperately trying to be cool, to be normal, to just fit in, why couldn’t I be like all of them? Every now and then someone in the halls would call me a fucking lesbian. It took me right back to those laughs that I heard when I was ten. I was still friends with the same girls who’s laugher haunted me and one night I slept over at their house. They had a brother who was a couple of years older and I thought I might have had a crush on him. It was juvenile wishful thinking. I ended up in his room with the door closed, in the darkness putting his dick in my mouth. After that I asked if I could go home because I was homesick - but I was just sick, I didn’t like anything about him or his dick. I felt so empty and so alone knowing that I was not normal, I was not like any of them. I sat in the bathtub with the door locked at 1am brushing my teeth and trying to erase the stain of what happened.
I came to school on Monday, and people were looking at me. They were talking behind hands and snickering. Someone had told someone and then someone told everyone and they all knew. My mind flew out the second story window in math as a girl passed me a note telling me I was gross and a fucking slut. If anything I thought it would shut them all up? Isn’t that what normal girls do, they like boys and they don’t leave their balls blue?! I had no idea what in the fuck I was supposed to do.
I drifted away from them all, I’d still see them in the halls but we hardly ever talked anymore. I found out that there were certain boys that stayed seperate from the jocks, and their flocks, so I started hanging out with them. They didn’t really care about much of anything and for once I felt a tiny bit of what I thought was belonging. Of course I engaged in ridiculous dating charades where I was one of their girlfriends. We’d occasionally kiss and hold hands and that was it, and I thought it might finally look like I fit. But I still heard it, from time to time “HEY DYKE, ARE YOU A LEMON OR A LIME?” I’d just put my head down and hide. I’d hide behind my boyfriend who was sweet and kind and dopey and gentle, even though most days he kind of drove me mental.
One day there was a new guy at school, I saw him before roll call in the hall and thought he looked cool. Later that day in science, he was sitting opposite me, and I smiled, he smiled back. We’re still friends and it’s about fourteen years down the track - how did we get to that? Well…
The next time I came out it was to him, and he told me he was the same as me. Of course I chose to come out under the label of bisexuality, because I still thought guys were kind of cute and it provided me with a shield of a certain safety and half normality. He didn’t flinch or cringe or look at me with hate, he just said he was the same, and my shame started to deflate a little. I started to breathe full breaths for the first time in so long, and I started to believe maybe I wasn’t so fucking wrong.
The next time I tried to come out to somebody I was sixteen and it was my mother. I’d spent years in torture and isolation trying to figure myself out, who I really was, what it was all about. I told her I was bi and she was quiet for a while. After I prompted her for a response she said “but how do you know?” with a condescending smile. She told me I was young, and that I hadn’t even slept with anyone so how could I possibly know what I am?? Rage is the only thing I could feel at that stage, HOW COULD I KNOW WHAT I AM? The same way you knew you weren’t what I am, that’s how. I’ve spent years hating myself for being this way, and this is the stupidity I’m faced with now? Like I had just flippantly decided that I would announce something I wasn’t even sure of? I was floored, and thus thereafter the topic was purposefully ignored. The silence said all I needed to know, this was something I just wasn’t supposed to show, it’s just one of those things that was a no go. Certain people could be trusted with my secret, the thing that people didn’t seem to want to see, but I had to be very careful about who that would be.
So I shut it down and compartmentalised my difference and tried to survive. Three years went by before I opened that door again, to a trusted friend. I never intended to tell her, but she asked me in a way that seemed so tender, there were no teeth waiting to bite me, and even though it frightened me I told her. She didn’t even care, she was just curious, maybe she was questioning things in herself like some of us do. That was the first time I really knew that I wasn’t my shame and I wasn’t my pain and I wasn’t some thing to be hidden away. I decided then to be more open. To live authentically and do what felt right for me. But I still remained private about it unless asked explicitly - then I would answer as honestly as I knew how, because truthfully I’m still figuring all of it out. I’ve learned so much about diversity and gender and sexual identity and sometimes I find the right words that seem to fit, and other times the pressure of a label exhausts me and I get sick of it.
Sick of trying to classify myself under certain banners, sick of people asking things without any thought of manners.
I know on the grand spectrum of things I am not at all like them, I fall somewhere else along the Kinsey scale. Maybe that means in a way I fail the people like me, because I can’t cement things or write it in concrete and sign it to make it complete. Or that sometimes I still find myself in certain situations where I’m being discreet, holding my candour for fear of ramifications and slander. Maybe I’m not full of pride, maybe because for so long all I could do was hide. This makes me feel so guilty, I should be proud of who I am unapologetically! Not just for me but for the sake of visibility, so that maybe more people can see - we aren’t wrong, we don’t have any agenda other than to be able to be! Just to be; to live with an open vulnerability and tranquility and to be able to do it safely!! I’m sorry, that I could not join in on the pride but maybe you’ll know why; it’s hard to celebrate something that for most of your life you’ve had to justify to people, to justify to yourself, for most of your life you’ve carefully withheld.
— 

“Internalised Homophobia - Where Is My Pride?”

Pride month is such a wonderful thing and I know it is over now but it inspired me to share this. It’s intensely personal, not very well written and lengthy, but I wanted to be able to share some of my experiences regarding this topic. In no way do I speak for the whole LGBT+ community in this post and it’s simply a personal journey that I wrote out for catharsis. 

Things not to say to someone dealing with eating disorders:

“I’m so happy you’re finally eating”
“You’ve gained some weight, great for you!” 
“It’s just food”
“Why are you so obsessed with calories? It’s not a big deal”
“Why can’t you just eat?”
“Do you even know how many calories that is?”
“You look hungry, have some of my food”
“Eat a fucking burger”
“Your hips are getting bigger”
“Don’t eat so much”  

I know you mean well, I know you are just trying to help, but it’s often not a great thing to say to a person struggling with their body image. When you comment on someone’s eating habits, or mention the fact that they’re eating, you could end up making them feel guilty for eating at all. When you see someone binge eating, don’t ask them if they know how many calories they are consuming, because the truth is they probably know fully well what it contains.

a meta about one of the best yet most underappreciated character development scenes in the bnha manga.

this is very long, but i also think it’s very important. please take the time to read, and enjoy this long piece o’ work

ok, here we go.

i’ve been re-reading the manga and this scene is so emotionally charged and so underrated. i’m going to be salty for a bit but stick with me here.

ok, first of all, let’s talk about the details: the baku(rescue)squad’s expressions.

todoroki looks alarmed, shocked to an extent, but mostly confused. the question that todoroki should ask in this situation is “why midoriya?” because technically it’s todoroki’s fault along with kirishima. even though it’s understandable why he’s upset at midoriya, being upset to the point of punching him (despite the fact that midoriya isn’t responsible for the initiation of the mission) is placing too much of the responsibility on midoriya’s shoulders, and it’s unfair. but, we don’t see any of that in todoroki’s expression. todoroki and iida went through so much together and so did iida and midoriya, which is why it’s uncharacteristic for him to just punch him out of the blue. not to mention that midoriya just got out of the hospital, and everyone was worried, so why would he do that? do we see that in todoroki’s face? the answer is no. his expression isn’t accusing at the slightest.

todoroki is alarmed but he’s waiting. he’s waiting for the explanation. todoroki gets his own panel so we can focus on his reaction, but there isn’t much to it, and that’s exactly the point. todoroki is the only one that gives iida the benefit of the doubt, and that’s a good way of showing how much their relationship progressed without touching on the subject at all.

on to yaomomo, who looks shocked to her core. she looks terrified, and i feel so sorry for her in this situation, especially because she’s the one they’re going thanks to. she just wants everyone to be okay. she’s helping with this because she wants bakugou to come back safe, and she’s accompanying them because she can’t send them off somewhere dangerous without knowing what might happen to them. she wants kirishima to be safe and also todoroki and midoriya and iida, and she’s willing to break the rules to do so. seeing iida acting this way and injuring midoriya must be horrible (especially with her kind of thinking… in the todoroki/aizawa fight she was thinking about her every move, regardless if it was her losing confidence or executing the final plan. she had to ask herself and todoroki if what she’s doing is okay).

now, and this is the interesting one: kirishima. the other two’s expressions can be explained in a way that ties them to the act: momo looks shocked because she has no idea why iida would act up when midoriya has nothing to do with the decision (and because she’s subconsciously taking the blame for herself), todoroki looks alarmed– because why would iida take out his anger on midoriya? (but is waiting for the rest, because he knows him too well), but kirishima has no idea who iida is beneath the initial impression of a strict class president, and would have no clue as to what’s iida’s reason for punching someone (and especially when that someone is his best friend).

kirishima, bless his soul, looks disgusted. he looks confused but his brows are pinched in a way that tells us that he’s not okay with this. and why would he be? he wouldn’t, because kirishima is all around a boy that has a strong sense of justice. kirishima is definitely blaming himself for having to rescue bakugou in the first place, and is going against the rules because he feels guilty and thinks he can do something. he wouldn’t endanger his classmates, ask momo for a favor and secrecy, go against the police and the pro’s orders and spend money on this ordeal if he didn’t think he has a shot at succeeding.

from his point of view, i can only imagine that he thinks iida is being dramatic and violent. kirishima wouldn’t suggest an idea like that without having confidence that they can fix this (he had all of that confidence even when it was just him and todoroki), and he knows that (as a person that was there when it happened) it bugs midoriya the most. so he asks midoriya from the good of his heart  if he wants to come along. kirishima doesn’t know iida that well at all (well momo doesn’t either but kiri is mentally stronger than her, so he thinks about the wrong in the situation instead of overthinking what he did wrong) and it makes all of the sense in the world for him to be mad. iida is supposed to be a role model, and that’s why it’s so alarming to see him randomly punching his best friend, but kirishima is the only one that shows clear disapproval for his actions. idk i just think it’s neat.

ok, getting to the point now: iida.

iida is a very underrated character, and his development is especially underrated and looked down upon, but this scene is where he grabbed our attention again ever since he lost it after the stain arc. you see, if you don’t stan iida, i doubt you pay attention to him. people appreciate his extremely well-written character only when the focus shifts to him, which is not often at all.

now that i’m done being salty, think about the betrayal you’d feel if your best friend went under your nose to do something you specifically asked them not to go do. think about how hurt you’d feel when your friend ignores people who cares about him completely to do something reckless that might get him killed. midoriya didn’t take iida’s emotions into consideration at all.

in the stain arc, iida feels bad for midoriya and todoroki’s involvement. they got hurt for him, and almost died for him. not only that, but he caused major trouble to the pro hero he was working with at the time by doing something on his own accord. he knows better than anyone how acting on your feelings can affect everyone else. you’d think that midoriya learned that as well, right? but here he goes again, going under the pro’s noses to do something extremely dangerous. not only that, but thanks to yaomomo the police had a lead and the pro heroes had the situation under control for once lmao. the students shouldn’t have gotten involved because the police already planned out how to approach the situation–it wasn’t being ignored and they had a plan. kirishima and todoroki’s decision to save bakugou was selfish, and it was selfish of them to ask midoriya to join especially because he’s injured (even though midoriya did want to help), and it was selfish of them to ask for yaomomo’s help (and also keep that information from the pros. just to recap: they asked her to give them the location of the villains so they can do something dangerous and reckless when the police had a way to solve the situation, they asked her to not tell anyone and then they asked her to stay put. that’s the worst position a person could be in; knowing they’re out there, getting hurt, while not being able to say or do anything about it–that’s so difficult. todo and kiri are my faves but they were asking for so much, and it was so unfair to momo. no wonder that she joined them). it was selfish of them to do all of that, and tsuyu (+plus uraraka) made that very clear when she confronted them about it later on. 

but to iida, the most selfish thing that happened was midoriya actually going with them. he was going to get himself and other people in trouble. he was going to risk his life doing something pointless. iida knows how much that hurts people. he experienced it first-hand.

iida knows midoriya is frustrated, and he knows how it feels better than anyone else. the difference between the stain arc and the hideout raid arc is that the outside forces could do something about it, which is exactly why he has the right to get mad. he knows frustration; it drove him to do something reckless and selfish too. he risked his classmates’ life too, he ran off on his own too. he felt like he was cornered, he had no one to turn to, he was angry and endangered someone else selfishly, and he acted in the most non-heroic way an aspiring hero could act as. after all of that wrong he did, he realized his mistakes after seeing the damage his actions bared with them, and dealt with the consequences the best he could– by changing his attitude and learning from his mistakes.

iida moved on. midoriya was present for all of that; which is why iida is frustrated with him. midoriya acted selfishly too, and caused trouble for others too, and iida thought they learned that lesson together. midoriya said it himself: we were both wrong. let’s make up for it together.

… yet. even though he said all of that, he still repeats the same mistake iida did. the way midoriya planned to go with kirishima and todoroki despite what iida told him is a stab in the back. midoriya didn’t consider iida’s emotions at all. ever since the stain incident passed, iida made sure the class got their act together. he made safer choices and took other people into consideration, and he continued being the best class president a class could ask for. he was trying to make up for his mistakes. he grew and fixed his wrong doings, and midoriya was supposed to do the same. here he clearly goes against what he said to iida in the panels above. what he said back then changed so much for iida, but it seems like he’s throwing all of that away to go after bakugou in the hideout raid arc. that’s so unfair. that hurts. midoriya went back on his own word (the same words that changed so so much) to do something irresponsible again. in the first panel i showed you, iida says that he worries over everyone, not just bakugou. bakugou didn’t do anything outstanding/likable/rescue worthy, and yet iida worries about him. of course he would. iida cares for everyone in class a1, but he didn’t plan to do something reckless (and technically, illegal) for one of them, because it’s not his place. but midoriya did. iida still worried and cared and wanted to do something but didn’t. by totally ignoring iida’s request to step down (and the warning from the other classmates) he disrespected iida’s emotions and incredible self-restraint. iida and the rest of a1 made it clear that it was a bad and selfish idea, but the group still planned to go. that’s so cruel to the rest of the students who worried but restrained themselves. that’s so cruel to iida. midoriya’s supposed to be iida’s best friend but he can’t even understand that.

midoriya, as the person who encouraged iida’s new path when he lost his way, did something very wrong and heartless. midoriya was so selfish in this arc, it’s honestly amazing. the hideout raid arc is so well-written, and it gives midoriya such a flaw that made me like him so much more as a protagonist. it shows us that despite all of the things he went through, he has so much place to develop. iida is being completely fair in this scene, and midoriya kinda deserves the punch he got. i don’t think he realized how much he hurt iida by sneaking out of the hospital that night.

regardless of  that, iida still joined the group so he can keep an eye on them.

that only shows how much he developed. this conflict is truly one of the best in the entire manga.

3

~ College!au Pen Pal Jungkook ~ PART FOUR 

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]  [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12] [part 13] [part 14:END]

~A few days later~

You sipped your coffee, sat at your usual spot in the cafe, eyes flicking across the words of your essay you were writing on your laptop for your philosophy class. 

“Hi, yes, a tall iced mocha?” A familiar voice pulled you out of your concentration. Looking up, you mentally sighed. Of course he was here. How convenient. 

Looking back down at your essay, you took a long sip from your coffee. 

“Hi,” A chirpy voice greeted from across from you. Looking just above your laptop, you saw the face of the boy with a bunny-like smile gracing his lips.

“Hi,” you greeted, uneasily. 

“It’s funny seeing you here. Well, seeing you at all actually,” Jungkook scratched the back of his neck. 

“And why’s that?” You decided to keep the conversation going. 

“I guess I never noticed you when I came here, even though we’ve known each other for how long? Since the kindergarten?” 

“That’s nice to hear,” You muttered, sarcastically.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way!” He quickly defended but when you started laughing at his frantic state, he rolled his eyes with a smile. “What’re you working on?”

“My philosophy essay.”

“That sounds…not fun at all,” And with that Jungkook closed your laptop and scooted it over. Raising an eyebrow in curiosity, you shrugged. 

“How’s you pen pal?” You asked, changing the subject. 

“Annoying.”

“Oh?” You smirked, “How so?”

“She’s too damn stubborn about her identity. I send her cute selfies––I mean, have you seen this face?––but no. It’s no use.”

You internally scoffed. You had received plenty of daily Jungkook selfies and remembered when he pleaded for one back.

“What do you think?”

The question caught you off guard. “What?”

“Why do you think she’s like this? Do you think she hates me but is too nice to let me know?”

“Does that seem like her nature?” You knew it wasn’t and you hoped he did. You were blunt and never failed to say what was on your mind––well, that’s changed now. Ever since Jungkook reentered your life, your mind was a jumbled mess and you didn’t know whether to feel guilty or not.

“Not at all.”

Smiling satisfied to yourself, you looked up as if in thought. “Then maybe there’s another reason.”

“And that would be?”

“Why don’t you just ask her?

“Don’t you think I have?”

“Let her be then. Who knows? Maybe she has some massive crush on you and didn’t want you to know,” You shrugged. It was an excuse…obviously.

“She didn’t know who I was yet!”

“An even better reason to be afraid of being judged for an interest she knew for a few weeks.

“Yeah, that could be the reason. I mean, who wouldn’t fall in love with me, right?” He smirked, causing you to roll your eyes. 

“Damn, you’re cocky.”

Chuckling, he shrugged, “So I’ve been told.”

Should you overstep your boundaries and expose that you know he’s probably soft? Oh, you’d love to.

“C’mon, you’re probably a heartfelt guy deep down,” You said nonchalantly causing him to cough. 

“Uh, no?”

“Sure, I’ll believe that.”

“Speaking of crushes,” he began, a mischievous smile forming on his lips.

“Uh oh,” you said, averting your gaze.

“You had a crush in me back in second grade,” Jungkook grinned, knowingly.

“S-sorry, what?”

“I know you used to like me.”

“So what? Everyone used to like you,” you shrugged, cringing over your seven year old self. 

“Yeah, but I noticed you liked me. To be honest, I had a crush on you, too. But that was in kindergarten. And then you denied me a green crayon,” Jungkook shook his head, disapprovingly.

“So you decided you didn’t like me because of a crayon?” You asked in a monotone. 

“Hey, the mind of a five year old is a weird place,” he placed his hands up in defense. 

“And you stopped liking me?” You asked, suspiciously.

“Well, not necessarily. I said I had a crush on you. But I guess as we grew up it faded.”

“Rude. I don’t understand how anyone could fall out of love with me.” You said in a feigned hurt voice, flipping your hair behind your shoulder.

“And who’s the cocky one now?” He grinned.

Hours passed and neither of you had classes for the day, so you spent them together in the cozy cafe. You laughed a great deal at Jungkook’s silly stories and memories of you and your class you didn’t even know he remembered.

Spending that time with him, you forgot all about lying to him about who his sarcastic princess was and for the time being, you were happy in his company.


Here’s part four!! Hope you enjoy it~~~

Part 5?👀

Older brother Namjoon + rest of BTS scolds you PT.14 END

BTS x Reader

Genre: Angst

Namjoon’s Sister AU

[PT.1] [PT.2] [PT.3][PT.4] [PT.5] [PT.6] [PT.7] [PT.8] [PT.9] [PT.10] [PT.11] [PT.12] [PT.13] [PT.14 END] [PT.14 Alternative]


Originally posted by allforbts

Y/N’s p.o.v

I was waiting patiently for their arrival, I was early. I never liked being late, I hated the thought of making others wait for me, so I stood there waiting. Half an hour passed and I was still waiting. They’re only five minutes late I thought to myself, maybe coming so early wasn’t the best idea.

I was startled when I felt someone give me a back hug. I was ready to start swinging my arms until I heard familiar voices. The person who was hugging me had let go, and turned me to face them.

“Princess, how are you? It’s been a while.” Jin had his hands on my shoulders staring right at me, I felt a little flustered but I managed to smile.

“I’m good, how have you been?”

“I’ve been good too.” He said and ruffled my hair.

“Y/N.” I saw Joonie have his arms out wide open. I hesitated at first but gave him a hug anyway. This was nice, I missed it.

I pulled away and looked at everyone, I didn’t know how to face Hoseok or Jimin. I didn’t know how they felt about me still and it did make me feel slightly uncomfortable. Neither of them smiled at me, or even greeted me so I take it that they’re still mad. Jimin was my best friend, and it hurt knowing that I’ve lost him because of my stupidity. I understand why they may not like me anymore so I suppose I’ll just have to move on and pretend nothing ever happened.

“Let’s get going!” Yoongi piped up and we headed towards the entrance. I walked behind them still feeling some sort of awkward aura between us all, but Taehyung held back and waited for me.

“Y/N…” He called my name softly whilst walking and not turning to look at me.

“Hmm?” 

“I’m sorry.” He turned to look at me but I shook my head.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because I betrayed you, I never should have told them to come and I’m sorry because you’ve probably lost all trust and faith in me.” He looked guilty, and I admit that at first I was mad but how could I stay angry at him when he never meant any harm?

“It’s okay Tae, I’m not mad at you. Actually I’m thankful to have you in my life, you didn’t betray me. You only did what you thought was best but I was too stubborn and childish to see that, so for that I’m sorry. You’ve only ever done what you could to help me and I pushed you away.” I admitted.

“No don’t be, how about we just call it even?” He said and stopped, causing me to stop beside him. I nodded and he pulled me into a hug. 

“Hurry up!” Joonie complained and we pulled away and rushed towards them again. I was about to walk off when Jin stopped me.

“Are you really okay?” I nodded, reassuring him. But was I really? My best friend hates me, Hoseok doesn’t seem to want to be here, I just wanted to make everyone happy. “So why do you look so conflicted?”

“Does Hoseok and Jimin hate me?” I questioned bluntly. 

“What makes you think that?” 

“I’m just getting this vibe off of them. But it’s okay if they do, I completely get it, this was all my fault anyway so if they do then I understand.” I was hurt, but I didn’t want to show it. I don’t want to continue being that same old weak Y/N who acts like a child and needs to grab attention from everyone. If they don’t like me anymore then I’m just going to leave it.

Jimin’s p.o.v

I overheard her conversation with Jin hyung. Idiot. I don’t hate you, I’m just embarrassed and too stubborn to admit that I was wrong. Too afraid to apologise for being a shitty best friend. How could I even claim that title after what I had put her through. Knowing her, she believes that all this was her fault, but it wasn’t. We all played a part in hurting her, I was someone she trusted but I took advantage of that, I ruined the friendship we had once I had messaged back in the group chat. I should have never said those things, but I did. 

We walked around and had food, I still wasn’t speaking to her. She looked like she was having fun, especially with Taehyung. Did she replace me with him? Not like I can stop her from doing so, but I was jealous. I shoulder barged into Taehyung, who was standing next to Y/N. I continued walking ahead until I heard.

“Oh my gosh, Y/N are you okay? I’m so sorry.” I spun around and saw that Y/N was now on the floor with a scratch on her leg. The force of me walking into him must have caused a domino effect that knocked Y/N over. Now I felt even guiltier, I rushed over to her side as did everyone else.

“Are you okay?” I questioned, she looked at me with tears welling up in her eyes but nodded shyly and looked away.

“Ya, why did you walk into Taehyung like that Jimin?” Hoseok hyung glared at me. “Yeah I saw everything.” 

“It’s okay I’m fine don’t worry about it.” She smiled at us and got up. 

“Small, lets go get you cleaned up.” Namjoon glared at me whilst walking past holding a limping Y/N by his side.

“What the hell is wrong with you hyung?” Jungkook questioned me. “And you Hoseok hyung, why are they two of you so bitter? Can’t you see how hard Y/N is trying? Can’t you see how much she’s hurting? And I don’t mean physically, but emotionally.

“What did I do?” Hoseok complained.

“Exactly, you didn’t do anything Hoseok. You arrived and hadn’t said a single word to her.” Yoongi confirmed.

“She asked me if you two hated her.” Jin confessed.

“What? No I don’t, I’m just guilty for being so mean so I don’t know how to be around her.”

“She’s trying to push it aside and pretend that nothing happened, she’s trying but the two of you aren’t doing anything to help her and Jimin hyung, why would you knock into Taehyung like that?”

“You’re jealous because we’re close aren’t you?” Taehyung interjected.

“She was my best friend, but now you come along, I don’t even know how to apologise to her and you’re making it more difficult for me.” I said in such a bitter tone, I’m sure everyone realised that I was just jealous.

“You don’t know how much she misses you Jimin, and Hoseok hyung you have no idea how bad she feels for lashing out on you. Just have some decency and apologise for a change and stop making her feel like she’s in hell because the both of you are incapable of saying a simple sorry.”

“She misses me?” 

“Isn’t it obvious? She keeps stealing glances at you and after realising you don’t even care enough to look at her face just drops.” Jungkook said whilst rolling his eyes. 

It was silent between us all until Y/N came back, smiling.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok hyung asked her, which took her by surprise because her eyes widened. 

“Yeah, I’m definitely much better now.” Her smile was so genuine, you could tell that she was sincerely happy that Hoseok acknowledged her.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” I apologised.

“Oh no, it’s not your fault I’m just really clumsy I mean I must take it after my brother, I can’t even stand properly.” Namjoon hyung flicked her on the head.

“Not just that, I’m sorry for everything.” She looked like she wanted to cry, but instead she just wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me.

“It’s okay, I just want my best friend back.” I nodded and hugged her back.

Namjoon’s p.o.v

After a few hours, we parted our ways. Y/N and I headed out to grab dinner whilst everyone else went home. Although we practically spent the whole day together, we barely even spoke because of the guys. 

“How have you been small?” I say whilst looking up from the menu.

“Pretty good I guess, how about you?” 

“Same, just busy I guess.”

“You don’t have to have dinner with me if you’re busy you know, I mean you’ve already spent the whole day with me and that’s honestly more than enough.” She looked guilty, how and why does she look guilty for asking to spend time with me? Her brother.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Right, I’m sorry.”

“Why do I still feel so distant from you?” I asked her. 

“I - I don’t know, I’m sorry.” 

Y/N’s p.o.v

I felt like I wanted to cry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know how to act in front of Joonie. I don’t want to do anything that will make him mad at me. 

“Why do I still feel so distant from you?” he asked me, that’s something I never wanted to hear, because it’s not what I want and if that’s what he’s saying then it’s my fault he feels this way.

“I - I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

“Will you stop apologising? You’re not doing anything wrong. What happened to you?”

“Nothing happened to me.” 

“Then why can’t you be comfortable like you were before? Like the old times? Why have you changed so much? It’s making me feel awkward and uncomfortable.”

“I, I guess I’m afraid of doing something that you don’t like that will aggravate you. I don’t want to do something that you don’t like. I want to be that good younger sister that you loved before, but I didn’t know that it was making you feel uncomfortable.”

“Why does what I like matter so much? What about the things that you like?”

Namjoon’s p.o.v

“Last time I did something like that, this huge mess happened. I don’t want that again.” She said so quietly I could barely hear her.

“This is because of me?”

“I’m not blaming you oppa, it was my fault. I should have been more careful, I should have looked out for you more and I shouldn’t have done those things that could damage your career. You’ve worked so hard for it, I can’t be the one to ruin it for you.”

“How do you think that makes me feel? I feel like I’m ruining your life because of what may or may not even happen.”

“You’re not, it’s what I chose to do.” 

“But why?”

“You’re my big brother Joonie, I don’t want to let you down. I promised that I won’t let you down but I already broke that promise so I really have to set myself straight. It’s what I’ve always done for you so I’m sorry that I messed up that one time, I won’t let it happen again, I don’t know what came over me because I never got myself into that kind of trouble before but I promise I’ll go back to how it was before.” 

“But you’re not happy.” 

“If you and the boys are happy, then I’m happy too.” she smiled at me, so genuinely. How was she so selfless? How have I never noticed? All I thought about was myself the past few years that I had no idea she was hurting.

After all this time, I’ve finally come to realise, my image, the scolding. Non of it was worth it. All this time Y/N did everything she could to protect my image like she had promised to. But when she slipped up that one time to be a normal teenage girl, we scolded her, we hurt her. I finally realised how hard it must have been for her to neglect a fun life, where she could do whatever she wanted. She was never able to be herself because she didn’t want it to affect us. She put us before herself and we selfishly put ourselves before her, or more like I put myself before her. Is our image really that important if it made those around us miserable? All this time she was looking out for us, for me. But I never did the same for her. 


END!!! thanks for reading!! 

Electric Touch [m]

Smut // Dom!baek, spanking, choking, daddy!kink // rewrite 

“I’ll take your jacket,” Baekhyun says the moment you too step into his apartment.

“Thanks,” You unravel your scarf then slip out of your leather jacket, “I still can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“If you’re not comfortable you can back out anytime,” He takes your jacket and drapes it on top of his coat hanger, “You don’t have to do this.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

For your prompts thing-- Kara loses her memory of everything including and after becoming Supergirl including her gf Lena (kinda like The Vow, but she gets her memory back??)

She saw it coming—

—bright, green, massive. A shout to move. The thundering of a heart. The, the, the—

She saw it coming.

She’d never paid much attention to human idioms. There were so many, every language and people with their own, garnering wide eyes and blinked shock when she got her idioms mixed up, sometimes even combining them with phrases she’d heard on Krypton. (She’d come to accept that they’d die, those phrases unique to her people. She’d learned that Kal-El couldn’t possibly understand them, never having seen the deep red of her sun or experienced the jokes within the different Guilds, and despite her best efforts to explain, merely smiled kindly and nodded, a faraway look in his eyes—confused and aching for a home he’d never know.)

No. She’d never paid attention to human phrases. It seemed moot, for the most part. Krypton would die with her, and bumbling through her idioms as Alex patiently listened without understanding felt a little bit like she was keeping something of her home planet alive.

Keep reading

Escape - Alec of the Volturi x Reader

Requested by anonymous: So the reader and Alec from the Volturi are mates. Alec’s sister hates the reader because she thinks that the reader is stealing her bro. So she uses her powers on the reader. She keeps using her powers till reader is depressed and scared. Reader escapes to the Cullen’s house. Fast forward to when Alec finds her again but gets jealous because she’s happy and singing with jasper and Emmett while cooking. Everything has a happily ever after though!

This is kinda trash but I hope you like it anyways, anon.

Originally posted by alecxvolturi

“Aro, I have someone I’d like you to meet.” Alec pulled you along behind him.

Aro’s crimson eyes looked up from the novel he was reading, focusing on you. You felt naked under his stare, something about him making you uncomfortable.

His lips stretched into a smile that sent shivers down your spine. He stood up and handed his book to a young woman who was standing next to his chair, waving her away.

“Who’s this, Alec?” He came down the stairs and slowly approached you.

“This is (Y/N).” He placed his hand on your back and guided you closer towards Aro.

“(Y/N)…” He repeated, his eyes scanning over you. “And where did you meet her, Alec?”

“I went out a few months ago to go hunting and on the way back I found her bleeding in the street. She doesn’t know who it was that bit her, but they left her for dead.”

“How terrible. We at least have the decency to finish off our victims.” His eyes flashed to yours, and he must have noticed the hurt you felt from his insensitive comment. He noticed because he grabbed your hands and pulled you towards him. “I’m sorry, dear, how rude of me. Would you mind if I read your past?”

You looked over at Alec, not understanding what Aro meant.

“If he touches your skin, he can see all of the thoughts you’ve ever had and things from your memory.”

You looked back to him in uncertainty, but nodded anyways.

That awful grin spread across his face as he removed his gloves, his hands finding yours again. He stared deep into your eyes and it took all you had not to look away. “My, my…” He whispered after a moment. Your hands fell limp by your sides once he released them. “Thank you. You seem to be an interesting girl.” He turned to Alec. “Have you introduced her to Jane?”

He nodded. “Of course. Although I don’t think she’s been very kind to her.”

“Oh?” Aro tilted his head.

“I haven’t been very kind to whom?” A feminine voice seemed to echo in the large room. The beautiful blonde walked to the center where you were standing with the two men, her heels clicking against the marble floor.

“I’m just telling him the truth, Jane.” Her eyes burned in jealousy as he spoke.

“We want you to accept this sweet girl.” Aro told her, and she seemed to fume even more at his comment.

Her deep red eyes met yours and fear flashed through you. Her threatening gaze held yours and you soon felt a dull ache course through your body. Your breathing escalated and the ache grew into the worst pain you had ever felt. You collapsed onto the floor and your screams filled the air. Alec held you in his arms as he yelled at Jane to stop. You still focused on her eyes as you heard Aro commanding her to stop and Alec continued to yell.

Finally her stare became aloof instead of intense, and the pain stopped. She simply looked at Aro and turned around, heading back through the heavy wooden doors.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N).” Alec held your cheek and you looked up at him.


You were sitting in one of the chambers as Alec had to tend to some business with other members of the Volturi. As you sat alone, all you could think about was how terrifying your mate’s twin sister was. Even though you cared greatly for Alec, you knew you could not live a life in fear of his jealous sister. She was a more experienced vampire than you and you could end your life easily.

You took a deep breath and quickly slipped out into the night.


You sat and watched Jasper and Emmett with a smile on your face. They were joking around and Emmett sang at the top of his lungs as he flipped a couple of steaks on the grill. You were so lucky to have found them after you escaped from Italy. Their mother figure, Esme, took you into their home in a heartbeat and you would forever be grateful for them. Of course you missed Alec, but this was a better life. A life that didn’t involve you being abused and fearing for your life.

“So why are we cooking again?”

“Edward’s father-in-law, a human by the way, is coming to visit. Gotta play the part.” Jasper smirked at you.

“(Y/N)?”

Your body suddenly went rigid upon hearing the voice. Jasper and Emmett looked shocked as they stared at the boy standing behind you.

You slowly turned around and met the familiar eyes of Alec. He looked surprised when he saw that your eyes were no longer red like his, they were gold.

“Oh my god.” You hopped off of the bar stool and hugged him tightly. “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

“Uhh (Y/N)? Please explain why one of them are here.” Emmett rolled up his sleeves to show that he would be ready to fight if anything happened.

“I never told you why I came here. I was living with Alec’s coven but…I ran away…” You trailed off.

“Why? What did they do to you?” Jasper growled and stepped around the counter but you held up your hand.

“My sister hurt her. Which is something I never intend on doing.” He looked down at you and you melted from his words.

“Alec…I can’t go back with you.” You looked down, feeling ashamed.

“Why? Are you with one of them?” He looked at the two vampires in jealousy.

Emmett smirked and Jasper’s face softened as he laughed at his accusation.

“No, no. They already have mates. I meant I can’t go back because of her. I’m afraid she’ll kill me.”

He looked at you sadly. “I figured that’s why you disappeared. So I told her if she didn’t want you there then I would leave too.”

This surprised you because you knew the two of them were very close. You didn’t quite know how to respond so you waited for him to go on.

“If you don’t want to go back, then I’ll go with you…anywhere.”

“I’m not sure, Alec. The Cullens have taken great care of me. I’d feel guilty just leaving them behind.” You frowned.

“Then we’ll stay in the area.” He grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze. “(Y/N)…I will do whatever it takes to be with you. If you want to stay here, I’ll stay and just go visit my family when I feel like it. Just please don’t tell me to leave.”

You smiled and hugged him again, pulling back to kiss him sweetly. After a moment, Emmett cleared his throat and you backed away, blushing.

“We’ll be watching you, kid.” Jasper looked at Alec seriously but winked at you.


I hope there weren’t any mistakes because I didn’t have time to proofread because I have class. Oops

@fandomsunitedposts said “Pet Monsters” for a prompt!
Thank you for the awesome prompt, I hope you like it!


Ken stops trusting his dad when he’s ten, sitting on the couch and watching westerns. Sedan, Ken’s pet, is nestling under Ken’s shirt. Sedan’s been going through growth spurts lately, trying to figure what he’s going to be, and he hasn’t been so good at regulating his own body heat. So Ken does it for him.

Marcus, his dad’s pet, a huge, hundred pound bloodhound, is lying in front of the TV, snoring softly. He’s never been particularly fond of Ken, but Ken likes the look of him, lazy and content like his dad who’s eating potato chips out of his hand.

On screen, the sheriff twirls his gun, lighting up the deserted street with one, two, three shots. The bad guy, dressed all in black, yells and his pet roars. When the last crack fades, the bad guy is lying dead, flat on his back, and his pet, a fanged horse, is lying sightless next to him, dead before it hit the ground.

“They ain’t got wolves there, son,” his dad says, eyes glued to the screen. “Bad guys, they got proper evil things, unearthly things. There’s a reason the good guys shoot him in the heart, you know. It’s so the monster dies too.”

Ken’s heart leaps into his throat and, unconsciously, he presses Sedan closer into his stomach. Sedan’s been growing lately and last week, last week he’d sprouted another leg, bringing the count up to six.

That’s not even mentioning the horns.

Keep reading