why do i find this attractive

Breathless(Living Quirks)

Jirou: (Walks up in a beautiful dress)How do I look?
Kaminari:(Mouth open)Uh.
Jirou:You see I want to impress this person.
Kaminari:Uh.
Jirou: That’s why I wanted to find someone attractive, funny, and charming to test it out on.
Kaminari: Uh…that’s what I’m here for.
Jirou: Actually I just wanted to know where Todoroki was so he could be a judge.(leaves)
Jirou: Uh.

Asking for an “allownce”

*Disclaimer* This is my own experience/advice

I see a lot of girls asking whether to discuss an allowance before or after the first date and honestly, I prefer to do it before and here are my reasons why:

1) I don’t want to get all dolled up for a date face beat, hair laid, ready to snatch ppl’s fucking life just to find out he can only provide me with an amount that’s insufficient to my lifestyle

2) I’m not afraid of “scaring him off” because he knows I’m obviously attracted to his money and not him primarily.

3) If you don’t like the range or financial amount he’s proposed you can always stick it out and wait to see if he changes his mind after you meet or just never meet with him all together. ON TO THE NEXT LOL.

4) I’ve found that when I do this its less awkward during the date because we can focus on getting to know each other and all that bullshit

****Random tip*****

I find that sometimes the word “allowance” makes these men very uncomfortable. So sometimes instead I would say “What amount/range would you feel comfortable with, in terms of cash and gifts (or you can say spoiling me with)?”

At the end of the day, you just go with whatever feels right for you and your situation. Obviously, if you’re going more for the spoiled gf route you probably wouldn’t mention this immediately because you would want the relationship to seem more genuine. But, if you’re going for the straight up SD route this could work.

Hope this kind of helped someone :)

why do people, namely men, act like fat girls are impossible to love? i hate to burst this bubble you’re living in, but fat girls can be in loving relationships, fat girls are approached, fat girls have sex (and don’t suffocate the person), fat girls are fawned over, admired, desired, and flirted with. and, yes, even by “conventionally attractive” and thin people. im tired of reading shit implying fat women are lower tier, a charity case, or second choices. just because you, personally, don’t find fat women attractive doesn’t mean yo boy jerimiah didn’t wear a pair of fat legs as earmuffs last week.

The greatest excuse of all time.

Context: We were playing homebrewed pirate campaign based heavily on d&d. My character was a Siren from Greek Mythology. And at one point, while on shore leave, I think it’s a good time to go person hunting. I find a young child in an otherwise empty alleyway.
Siren (ooc): “I sing my siren’s song to subdue him.”
DM: rolls “The child succeeds his will save. He screams at the top of his lungs, which attracts nearby people into the ally”
Town person: “why did that kid scream? What did you do?”
Siren: “Nothing. it’s just because, uh uh… The kid’s got rabies” rolls bluff
Townsperson: “Oh god the kid’s rabid! throw the kid into the ocean!”

Favourite Undertale quotes

(aka the reasons you should play Undertale if you haven’t yet)

  • *ANIME’S REAL, RIGHT?!?!
  • *You came all the way back here to look at Toriel’s socks. *You have great priorities in life. 
  • *Wosh u SOUL
  • *YOU LIKE CARESSING MY BICEPS WITH A FLOATING HEART. BUT WHO DOESN’T!?
  • *Sans is selling tickets made of toilet paper.
  • *It looks like a snow ball… *Actually, it’s a snow decahedron.
  • *SCIENTIST DISCOVERS HEALTH BENEFITS OF USING COMPUTER (JUST KIDDING LOL)
  • *TINY VOLCANO MONSTER TRIES ITS BEST, RECEIVES TINY APPLAUSE
  • *WOSHUA CLEANS UP LOCAL CRIME, LITERALLY FINDS CRIMINALS AND DOUSES THEM IN SOAP, CRIME DOESN’T GO DOWN BUT IT SMELLS AMAZING
  • *Partaking in worthless garbage fills you with determination.
  • *DO YOU TREAT YOUR MOTHER THIS WAY…WHEN SHE MAKES YOU A PUZZLE?!?!?
  • *I’ll pay you 1000G if you get Mettaton to autograph my butt!
  • *DOGS ARE JUST FIRM CATS!!!!
  • *Why do people find him so attractive?? *He’s literally just a freaking rectangle.
  • *Huh? *Everyone else is DEAD? *Does that mean I don’t have to work today?
  • *STOP PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL MUSIC!!!
  • *Thank you so much, dearie! *It’s all because of you *(r money).
  • *You’re making the switches uncomfortable with all this attention.
  • *(WHY IS THIS PERSON TRYING TO SELL ME SOMETHING THIS IS A HAMBURGER RESTAURANT I’M JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE)
  • *In this hellish world, you can only take 3 pieces of candy…
  • *I’m literally going to make out with a fish.
  • *OF COURSE I KNOW WHO I KNOW!! I WANTED TO KNOW  IF YOU KNOW…I KNOW WHO I KNOW AS MUCH AS I KNOW I KNOW WHO I KNOW!…YOU KNOW?
  • *Mad Dummy is doing an armless ska dance.
  • *Now you’ll see my true power: Relying on people that aren’t garbage!
  • *I DON’T NEED FRIENDS!!! *I’VE GOT KNIVES!!! 
  • *i’ve almost got a mix cd finished for my scary neighbor… *it’s 74 minutes of people screaming their signature wrestling moves *but they’re all autotuned *i hope she likes it
  • *What do I look like, the ice-cream woman? *Do human ice-cream women TERRORIZE HUMANITY with ENERGY SPEARS? *Are their ice-cream songs a PRELUDE TO DESTRUCTION?
  • *OH MY GOD!!! *STOP PETTING THE ENEMY!!!
  • *I should have worn a few million more pairs of pants today.
  • *Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 Is Neither Kissy Nor Cutie. *Its Trash. 0 stars
  • *SOMETIMES, I’M A GENIUS. ALL THE TIME.
  • *Sparkle up your day™.
  • *EVEN IF YOU MANAGE TO BEAT THE HEAT… *YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND MY HOT METAL BODY!
  • *THIS DOG… *STILL EXISTS! *THIS STORY… *JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!
  • *My hair… yes, I use metal hairgel. 
  • They say I have the voice of a Siren… awooga!
  • *… you really like hot animals, don’t you? *hey, i’m not judging.
  • *yeah, you’ve gotta save your money for college and spiders.
  • *STILL FIDDLING WITH THAT MICROWAVE, EH, DARLING? *CAN’T BLAME YOU FOR BEING TOTALLY ENAMORED WITH AN ELECTRONIC BOX.
  • *I will make intent eye contact with you so you sweat while you talk.
  • *First off, I’m a baby KNIGHT! *Captain of the babies!!!
  • *I’M UNDYNE AND I’M PILING ON THE SMOOCHES!!!
  • *WHAT!! I DIDN’T CRY!!! I DON’T CRY!! *I JUST…CAUGHT SOMETHING IN MY EYE. *TEARS!!!
  • *This is Sans *Frisk, did you know that I love to “get owned?” *I also think Toriel is very good and fhfjkehfeaufsisf
  • *THERE ARE WAY BETTER ANIMALS TO MARRY. *LIKE SKELETONS!!!
  • *HMMM..THE SOLUTION TO THIS ONE…? *I ACTUALLY JUST STEPPED OVER THE SPIKES. *SO THE SOLUTION IS TO BE VERY TALL AND HANDSOME.
  • *SOMEDAY I’LL IMPRESS HER WITH MY HUGE BICEPS… *THAT’S A GOOD WAY TO MAKE FRIENDS!!!
  • *When I feel like relaxing, I always take a break there. *That means NEVER!! *I HATE RELAXING!! *I LOVE being ANGRY and STRESSED OUT!!!
  • *You can’t do the jimpity jumpity joodle!? *The limpity loppity leap!?
  • *I WISH I HAD EIGHT LEGS… *SO I COULD WEAR FOUR PAIRS OF HOTPANTS.
  • *Uh, if not for that grooty, I’d have kicked your booty.
  • *(HORRIBLE BIRD IMITATIONS)
  • *GARBAGE, HUH? BOY, DO I KNOW GARBAGE!! *AFTER ALL, I’M HOUSEMATES WITH A LAZY BAG OF TRASH! *HIS NAME’S TRASHY HE LIVES IN THE GARBAGE CAN. 
  • *You make a snowball and throw it for the dog to fetch. *It splats on the ground. *Greater Dog picks up all the snow in the area and brings it to you.
  • *WOWIE!!! UNDYNE!!! *SOMEDAY I WANTTO BE AS STRONG AND SWEATY AS YOU.
  • *PLEASE STOP COMMITTING GHOST CRIMES.
  • *It looks like some sort of powerful bracelet… *Wait. *It’s just a croissant…
  • *EMITTING SLIME…THAT’S JUST WHAT BROTHERS DO.
  • *It appears to be a self- sustaining tornado made of trash.
  • *N… NO!!! NOT THE FLATTERY SUPLEX!!!
  • *I can’t go to hell. *I’m all out of vacation days.
  • *A LAB??? MY BROTHER WOULD LOVE THAT! *HE LOVES SCIENCE FICTION!! *ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S REAL.
  • *And I’m forecasting an incoming front of SHUT UP!!!
  • *I CAN’T VISUALIZE THIS PUZZLE AT ALL. *CAN YOU DRAW A PICTURE??? *THEN HOLD IT UP TO THE RECEIVER??
  • *I’m thinking of getting a spiked collar to show off my personality. *It makes a statement like… *“Attach a leash to me and take me for a walk please.”
  • *(AUDIBLE WINK)… *WAIT, WHOSE NUMBER IS THIS???
  • *It’s kinda cute… *…I mean, uh… *I’m tough!!! *I love to eat rocks!!
  • *A A A A A. *I’M SCREAMING VERY SLOWLY.
  • *Well, maybe our cooking abilities aren’t exactly perfect. *Nah!!! *They totally are!! *Eat up, punk!! *(You hear spaghetti thwap against the receiver.)
  • *IS (THE SOUND A BABY MAKES) AN EMOTION?
  • *Perhaps mankind was not meant to pet this much.

gay men on tv: I’m gay, I’m attracted to men. I am the gayest person you will find out there. I am sooo gay.

lesbians on tv: I’m a lesbian.  I’m attracted to women. I am the gayest person you will find out there. I am sooo gay.

bisexuals on tv: It’s complicated. Why do we have to put labels on everything? If you have to label me, label me in love.

Matt:Shiro why do you always keep flirting with Keith?

Shiro:I’m not flirting.I’m just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.

Matt:…So you are flirting.

Shiro:Alright you caught me I am.

Texts From Last Night Sentence Starters

“Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen?”
“That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we’re drinking tonight in celebration!”
“Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate.”
“Okay I’m officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots.”
“I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I’m very well-rounded.”
“Did you happen to find my bra? I’m pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar…”
“We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she’s the one.”
“So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.”
“I cannot handle Xanax… I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube.”
“I don’t need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios.”
“It was great.  Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!”
“Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.”
“He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can’t hold that against me.”
“Should I get the rainbow boxer briefs?”
“As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can’t handle.”
“Yeah, I mean I’ll probably fuck him regardless but I’m trying to be a lady about it.”
“I swear to god, if you have sex in my bed one more time you’re gonna start paying rent!”
“Reminder- he’s a douche bag. A big one.”
“He took shrooms and didn’t want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn’t want to break.”
“We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.”
“I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar…”
“I feel like you’re the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society.”
“No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.”
“When I’m drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.”
“We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk two blocks and get into our backyard?”
“He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that?”

Don’t Deny It ~Freaky February~ (C.G)

Prompt: Carl gets jealous because he thinks you like Ron.

Pairing: Carl x Reader

Word Count: 455

Warning: None

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