why do i do that thing with my hand

a-calorosa  asked:

I've been strung around by you like a kicked dog for like the last week; the leash is your fanfic. I just want to send you a prompt to see what excellent, horrible, amazing thing you do with it. So here is the prompt, offered from my bare hands for you to pluck or swat away: ~"I didn't know you could do that"~

This is why I can’t tell if anyone really likes me in this fandom. But here you go!:

“I didn’t know you could do that.”

Cassian’s hands pulled her shirt open, focused. He glanced up at her, a brief glimmer of confusion at her words. He looked striking in cavernous torchlight, too bad that wasn’t a setting on the lights in her quarters. She stored information like that on Cassian Andor. For later. Hopefully. 

His lips were pecking at hers as he spoke, to cover his explanation. 

“The. Rebellion. Frowns upon it. But. They’re. Still. Watching. And. You. Can. Punch. Me. Later.”

His tongue snaked into her mouth when he finished that thought. 

She got why he was doing it, but it struck her as wildly unprofessional for someone like him. So when he’d glanced nervously over their shoulder to check if they were still being followed -and they were- is decision to spin her up against a wall of one of the tunnels of this city’s literal underground had made the words slip out of her mouth as his lips did dastardly things to her neck. 

Did the rebellion really sanction public displays of affection between partners? That just seemed to open up more problems than solutions. 

“You’re too stiff,” he told her, breath warming her ear, “they can tell you don’t like it.”

She grasped his chin in her hand. 

“How far are you willing to take this?” she turned on him with a wicked smile. 

He gaped at her, and her hands shoved him back, spinning him to be the one against the wall with lips on his neck. 

“I didn’t know you could do that,” he murmured, his voice soft and longing. Jyn snickered. She wedged her hips between his legs. He used the wall’s support to lower himself to grind fully against her. She smiled against his mouth. 

“Are they still following us?” she said it soft and dirty, like she was flirting instead of undercover. 

Cassian glanced over her head as she dove back to his neck. The location would have betrayed anyone close enough to keep up with their next movements. 

“No.”

“Then should we stop?” her lips did sinful things to his collarbones with a knowing chuckle, which were incredibly sensitive. Damn her for figuring it out. He closed his eyes, groaned softly. 

“No.”

100 Dialogue Prompts
  1. “Where the hell did that baby come from, Marissa?!" 
  2. “Did you destroy the world AGAIN?”
  3. "What do you mean you’re a serial killer?”    
  4. “Listen, you can’t just keep shoving people off the sides of cliffs.”
  5. “Oh my god. I thought you were dead.”
  6. “That wasn’t there before”
  7. “So what now?” “I have no idea, I thought that would kill us”
  8. “I can’t believe you’re married to death, again!”
  9. “Assassination would seem to be a better career, with your skillset.”
  10. “It’s not my fault that the snails committed mutiny!”
  11. “It’s situations like this that make me question why I follow you anywhere.”
  12. “Where did this dog come from?”
  13. “Did you remember to take the skin off?”
  14. “I was going to ask what you’re doing, but at this point, I don’t think I want to know.”
  15. “Why is there a corpse in the bathtub?”
  16. “What in tarnation”
  17. “I love you, I’ll make you love me too”
  18. “This would be a lot easier if you sat still.”
  19. “You see, it all began when it spoke back.”
  20. “This is the pit where we keep the cube that screams.”
  21. “Why did you steal my door?”
  22. “Why didn’t you just listen to me…”
  23. “Hey, you finally made it!”
  24. “Wait, there were only three of them. Why are there now four?”
  25. “How do you ‘accidentally’ hit someone hard enough to rip a hole through time and space?”
  26. “Why is there bloodstains on the floor, honey?”
  27. “… Why are you… eating tacos at 3 AM?” “Why not?”
  28. “Why would you train your gerbil army to take over the world and enslave humanity?!”
  29. “Are toasters supposed to float?”
  30. “Honey, did you eat the dog”
  31. “Hey bro, where’s our sister?” “Um… we don’t have a sister.”
  32. “Wanna help me steal a giraffe?”
  33. “I told you that you would regret it, now we’ve ended up like this.”
  34. “Why are your clothes all wet? Why are you covered in glitter? Why does your sister have wings? Ah- get off the carpet! It’s getting all wet!”
  35. “You’re not actually sure, are you?”
  36. “What do you expect me to do? I’m a magician, not a wizard!”
  37. “Dad? What are you doing here? This is a spaceship.”
  38. “Mom says I can’t burn the city hall with you. She said that we’re going to my aunt that day.”
  39. “You….you just don’t understand..”
  40. “Okay, so. No more caffeine for you, that’s apparent.”
  41. “Where were you last night?”
  42. “Okay but have you seen what my hair does?! I kills people!”
  43. “I don’t think you understand the term 'dead or alive’, because I don’t know if this thing IS dead or alive”
  44. “What do you mean, ‘there wasn’t a murder weapon’?”
  45. “Time flies, but I can fly faster.”
  46. “You just crashed with MY podship into that wall and all you say is »It’s just a scratch«?”
  47. “Now sweetie, don’t get scared when you hear the gunshots, okay? Just don’t come to the house.”
  48. “and… why do you have a gorilla in your room again?”
  49. “Okay, last question: why is there an owl in the fridge?”
  50. “Well shit, you’re hotter than i was expecting.”
  51. “It turns out, space isn’t actually the final frontier”
  52. “If I had hands right now I would choke you.”
  53. “…why did you think it would be a good idea to set that on fire?”
  54. “Close your eyes, sweetie. They can’t get you then.”
  55. “That tiger, that tiger eats humans”
  56. “I swear, if ONE more person comes at me with their hot dog buns–”
  57. “If you would have just kissed them, we wouldn’t be in this mess! Now we’re tied up on traintracks about to be smushed like bugs!”
  58. “Do I want to know why your'e in my apartment wearing only sport shorts which are quite tight?”
  59. “What do you mean that woman wasn’t you?”
  60. “Why is there a dog on the couch?!”
  61. “Stop dude stop, you scared the dogs.”
  62. “What on earth made you think the banana was a good idea?
  63. "Do I want to know whats in the box”
  64. “Wait, no! Please don’t leave me here, it’s getting dark. Have you not heard the stories of the things in these woods?”
  65. “Those were shoes yesterday”
  66. “Can I at least put on my socks first?”
  67. “Why is the Devil in your living room?” “It’s Saturday, Tom. Date night.”
  68. “John, get your damn death ray off of my cat’s bed. You’ve given poor Fluffy radiation poisoning!”
  69. “I get it, you think I don’t care about you. You think I want nothing to do with you… And you’re right.”
  70. “No. Not after last time.”
  71. “What made you think you could survive this?”
  72. “No! I never said you could reenact General Sherman’s Total War tactic from the Civil War! We’re gonna get arrested!”
  73. “Why does our 8 y/o daughter think that THAT werewolf is her pet dog?! He’s been terrorizing our entire town!!”
  74. “Have you even bothered to consider your options before deciding to bungee jump into the Pacific?”
  75. “That is NOT how you bury a dead body, Jared!”
  76. “Do you know where the cat is? I haven’t seen it in two weeks…”
  77. “You did what?!” “It’s not that big of a deal” “You killed a man!”
  78. “But you love me, don’t you? So you’ll forgive me.”
  79. “I don’t care.”
  80. “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that, right?”
  81. “You’d be surprised how flexible a sloth can be.”
  82. “Oh great, the world exploded…. again”
  83. “I dressed up for THIS?”
  84. “Why? And how?”
  85. “Would it hurt you to tell me exactly where we’re going?”
  86. “You can’t take back those words anymore. Or everything else you did.”
  87. “he didn’t do anything I fucking told him to do!”
  88. “When they came, why didn’t you fight?”
  89. “What are you doing here?” “I was about to ask you the same thing…” “Well, it’s called the hanging tree for a reason.”
  90. “__, please come down from the tree, i’ll treat you to pizza.”
  91. “You can… seriously? Oh my gosh, teach me teach me teach me!!”
  92. “I wasn’t aware that 'monster’ was a term of endearment.”
  93. “Yes, I’m sure your flower pot really is trying to kill you, Debra.”
  94. “Why is our child on the roof?”
  95. “Do you want a hug? Will that help?”
  96. “How could you sign us up for this without reading the fine print?! It says right there that we have to give up everything!!!”
  97. “And it’s been stuck in there how long now?”
  98. “I learned I can’t trust you when the world was "fine”, now tell me one reason not to place a bullet between your eyes and listen to you.“
  99. “Why the hell are you naked in my room?”
  100. "Having criminals line up against their will and you killing them is not community service!”

100 prompts. Amazing. Thank you for sharing your ideas and contributing to our community.

Let’s make a new list right now! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”! I will use the first 100 prompts for the next list. One prompt per amigo please!

Putting Lipstick On A Pig

by reddit user Pippinacious

Except for the whole murder thing, Courtney James seemed like a lovely young woman. She was bright, articulate, a dedicated college student and well liked waitress at a popular restaurant.

I met her when she was sitting in an interrogation room at the precinct. She was a bit on the larger side, dressed conservatively in pastel colors and minimal makeup, and when I came in, she introduced herself with a polite smile, as if we were meeting for a job interview as opposed to a police investigation. She had declined to have an attorney present, so I got right to business.

Keep reading

9

Hyuk forehead/middle-part appreciation post

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 3

And we did it again, amigos! 

  1. “My sock is missing.”
  2. “I must say it can be rather therapeutic”
  3. “Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
  4. “You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
  5. “What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
  6. “I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
  7. “If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
  8. “What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
  9. “I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
  10. “I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
  11. “You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
  12. “I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
  13. “What is this, a concert for ants???”
  14. “I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
  15. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
  16. “When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
  17. “The wolves eat tonight.”
  18. “Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
  19. "When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
  20. “Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
  21. “Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
  22. “How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
  23. “I think I misplaced my right hand”
  24. “I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
  25. “Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
  26. “Have your eyes always been that colour?”
  27. “I’m going to fight the sun!”
  28. “You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
  29. “I’m not into that kinda thing.”
  30. “Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
  31. “I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
  32. “Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
  33. “Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
  34. “What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
  35. “What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
  36. “Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
  37. “Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
  38. “This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
  39. “Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
  40. “ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
  41. “Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
  42. “Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
  43. “Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
  44. “Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
  45. “Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
  46. “Wait. You’re aroused?”
  47. “Why would that surprise you?”
  48. “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  49. “okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
  50. “I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
  51. “I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
  52. "Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
  53. “how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
  54. “…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
  55. “For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
  56. “Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
  57. “Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
  58. “_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
  59. “What the heck happened while I was at the store?
  60. "What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
  61. “Despreate times call for cows.”
  62. “Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
  63. “You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
  64. “Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
  65. “Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
  66. “Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
  67. “Dude, no.”
  68. “I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
  69. “I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
  70. “I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
  71. “Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
  72. “So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
  73. “dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
  74. “Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
  75. “What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
  76. “WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
  77. “PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
  78. “PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
  79. “What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
  80. “Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
  81. “You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
  82. “Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
  83. “Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
  84. “So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
  85. “Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
  86. “Tell me why,  exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
  87. “Look, I’m not a liar, alright?  And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me.  So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now.  And maybe a million dollars.”
  88. “Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
  89. “Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
  90. “Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
  91. “Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
  92. “Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
  93. “This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
  94. “So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
  95. “I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
  96. “Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
  97. “Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
  98. “I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
  99. “Every time you speak I literally die a little”
  100. “One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”

“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)

Fleur Delacour

Ignis: Noct, how much do you love me?

Noctis: I would die for you

Noctis: I would never let you go

Noctis: I would do anything for you

Ignis: Can you eat your vegetables for me?

Noctis: Let’s not exaggerate

We Got Married (M)

Originally posted by kthmyg

8.8k words. Arranged Marriage AU. Min Yoongi.

Warning: Fingering. Phone sex. ft Kim Namjoon.


It’s hilarious, laughable, pathetic even, how love could either build you or ruin you and yet knowing this, people still chase after it like the rise of golden light beyond the horizon, or the last drop of dew in twilight, or the flutter of that one coral blue butterflies in buttercup paved meadow.

It’s frightening, daunting, startling even, how love makes your hands clammy like you’re being interviewed by the very man who founded the big shot company you’ve applied to.

And it’s utterly, impossibly, unbelievable how love comes in many ways like a bump and a spill of coffee on crisp white shirt, or a brush of hands upon a dusty leather brown book spine or an envelope obtained from a mailbox on one’s way back from grocery shopping.

Well, that’s exactly what’s happening to Min Yoongi, second son to one of the well-known elite families in Seoul. Most of the time, he couldn’t care less about family matters; business deals, dinner with alien faces and empty conversations─ those things he’s entitled to attend with mildly bored eyes and champagne he’ll never finish in one hand. But this particular matter, he can’t just not care. One, because it directly concerns him (as if the cursive letter of his name engraved in bold black against crisp white isn’t enough indication). Two, because it’s from a certain someone in his family who he’s fond of.

Dear Yoongi,

Is written on the top of the not so neat written paper.

Son,

I know you might hate me for this.

Keep reading

Snippet

This is something….. Basically it’s me wanting to write an AU where Jack never kissed Bitty and went on with his life and how they still found their way back to each other. I’ve been taking bits and pieces of this fic and putting them in different fics so there are a ton of holes but I keep thinking about it. 

The context for this is if Jack went up to visit his parents over the summer and he invited the team up because why the hell not????? It’s a WIP. I don’t have it all figured out yet. 


Ransom and Holster jump at the same time and the splash it creates reaches Alicia on the patio chair. She sighs and stands.

“I’m so happy you brought the boys with you,” she says dryly but she ruffles Jack’s hair as she goes by.

Jack waits a moment and follows her.

He closes the door behind him and she looks up with a smile from where she’s pouring more chips into a bowl.

“I’m glad Eric could come. Your father mentioned the two of you had some issues? Is that all worked out now? He seems pretty comfortable around you.”

“I think I could be in love with him.”

There’s dead air in the kitchen but beyond the sliding doors the world rages on.

Keep reading

youtube

I did this instead of sleeping last night. 

Basically i started drawing a thing based on this song and it got out of hand. (This is the first time I’ve done something like this, and I probably wont do it again but it was fun making :x)

Fair warning, it gets rough at the end 

Post-Kerberos! Matt HC

★ When the rebellion group helped him escape, he just ended up sticking with them and eventually became one of the best fighters there???

★ He doesn’t have any idea where his dad is, but scavenges through old Galran tech to hopefully find out.

★ The group is pretty much amazed by humans and low-key terrified of them bc of Matt 

★ He dislocated his shoulder once and the group was like, “it’s horrible to see another one go,,,,” and Matt was just like “???? i can put it back in place????” 

  • Matt: Guys,,,,stop crying,,,,this can be fixed,,,,,
  • Rebellion leader: i saw a dear friend die bc of that, there is no survival
  • Matt: *silently puts in back in place*

★ He has a scar over his right eye bc of the Galra

★ The Galra also found out he needed glasses and basically went, “well we can’t have The Champions friend like this!” and injected some weird shit into his eyes. Matt no longer needs glasses, but his eyes change colors depending on his mood and who he’s talking too

★ Matt, talking to keith as his eyes turn red: And so– why the fuck are you pulling out your sword?

Keith, seeing Matt’s eyes turning yellow as he talks to Hunk: “Uhm guys? Are we sure that Matt isn’t Galra?”

  • “I am right here”

★ When he first heard of Voltron his main thought was, “Well that sounds lit” but when he hears that ‘The Champion’ aka Shiro is their leader, he immediately turns into that Mr.Krabs meme

★ Somehow some people find a picture of the paladins and everybody is just “???? the tiny one resembles matt”

★ Matt automatically realizes it’s Katie and that the red paladin is Keith and just,,,screams for roughly 5 hrs

★ Why is everyone he knows up in space? He has no fucking clue but w/e

★ Makes it a personal mission to track down Voltron for himself and the rebellion

★ They end up showing up eventually to make allies

★ The Paladins talk to some civilians first, so Allura and Coran meet up with the Rebellion leader

  • “Number 5?! How’d you get here so quickly??” “Funny story actually,,,”
  • The real Pidge shows up like 0.5 seconds later
  • Pidge//Katie, tearfully: “MATT”
  • Matt, nearly sobbing: Oh shit waddup

★ Keith screams at him for a solid 10 minutes before tearing up

  • “It’s okay. I know you’re gay and texan already, Keith”
  • “I fucking hate you”

★ There’s a tie between whether Pidge or Shiro cried more

★ Allura: I’m princess Allura and you are?
    Matt:
single and willing–i meAN MATT

 ★ **Takes in Katie’s appearance** “Well, one of us is going to have to change”

★ **Inspecting Shiro’s arm** “Yo, your weapon is just a bitch slap”

★ “,,,,,you guys do realize Allura just picked your lions off of your clothes right???” “No she–holy shit”

★ “whY DON’T YOUR LIONS HAVE SEAT BELTS?! YOU’RE GONNA DIE AT 6 SHIRO”

  • He essentially spends his time pointing out problems with basically everything tbh

★ “Why does Voltron represent the olympic rings??”

★ He realizes Keith has a crush on Lance in like a couple of days

  • “weLL I HEARD YOU GOT A SPECIAL SOMEONE ON THE SIDE, KEITH”
  • “Listen here, you piece of shit”

★ Slowly comes to the realization that he likes both Shiro and Allura

  • “Coran have you ever heard of a pickle?”

★ He helps Coran around the castle and stuff

  • “And this is the Teludav” “Y’all have fucking teletubbies here?”

★ Him and Hunk team up to annoy Shiro and Lance with puns

  • “I’m just over the moon with excitement”
  • “Aren’t you glad i’m not lion in the cold depths of space??”

★ Him and Slav get along pretty well

  • Shiro hates it

★ “In this timeline, there is a 42% chance of you getting together with the two of them.” “Thanks buddy”

★ “Why did you choose five kids to defend the universe there’s so many ways this could go wrong”

★ Him and Hunk set up the lions to play “What’s new pussycat?” 7 times with one “It’s not unusual” before resuming ‘What’s new pussycat?’

  • “For years, scientist have wondered if you can make 3 teens, 1 adult, and 3 aliens weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’ “It’s not unusual”.”

★ Lance is amazed by how smooth his skin is

  • Like, you’ve been in space for 2 years???? And majority of that was with the Galra??? Tell me your secret

★ Everyone figures out Matt’s crush on both Allura and Shiro and try to get them together

  • One plan consisted of a rock, 15 cups of nunvil, and a very upset bounty group.

★ Matt actually likes nunvil

★ The Lions all take a liking to him and everyone would be salty, but he looks adorable when he talks to them so they deal with it

★ Pidge voice: I’ve banned Hunk because he kept messing with my shit but now—
    Matt voice: yO I GOT MARIO KART RUNNING ON THIS

★ He appreciates the fact that Hunk points out all the weird shit that’s going on while everyone else just accepts it

★ “Do you think i could install the internet to my mind?”
★ **sees all the upgrades Pidge added to Green** “yO—YO!”

★ Anytime Shiro or Allura do anything remotely romantic to him, ‘What the heck i gotta do’ starts blasting from the Green Lion

★  Allura called his ears cute once, and nobody saw him for 6 hrs until Lance found him frantically grabbing Altean romance novels while whispering, “what does it mean?!”

★ They go to a planet where it’s considered normal to have more than one partner

  • Coran convinces the newly dubbed “Poly triangle” to pretend they’re actually dating for reasons unknown
  • They pull it off so well that the Aliens eventually ask when they’re gonna get married
  • Everyone had vastly different reactions

★ “You guys are fighting Zarkon right? Why don’t you just turn him Zarkoff?”

★ Hunk voice: Um, guys, what are those things?
    Obviously annoyed Matt voice: Aliens. 
    Different ranges of offended Allura, Coran and Keith voices: Excuse me?

★ “I’m fucking tired. beam me up, Scotty”

★ Keith, kneeling down on one knee: “Matt, Allura, will you do me the honor of marrying my stupid brother?”

★ “Voltron? More like Dabtron.”

  • “How do I return a brother?”

★ “caTCH THESE GAY HANDS ZARKON”

★ Tried to convince Shiro to let him Pidge and Hunk install a laser gun sound effect or the lightsaber noise to his arm

★ Once, he finally found the courage to tell Shiro and Allura that he liked them but they mistook it as him saying he enjoyed their company or smth along those lines

  • He tried to throw himself out the airlock afterwards

★ Lotor eventually shows up and everyone is tense bc he’s shown interest in the Blue Lion

★ Lotor sees Matt, and just pushes Lance out of the way: Hello there ;)

  • Everyone pretends not to notice Shiro’s eye twitch and Allura breaking the weapon she was holding
  • Lance was offended at first but seeing their reactions made it worth it

★ Matt is oblvious to Lotor’s attempts though

  • Everytime he gets close, Matt just assumes it’s some weird galra thing

★ “Raindrops on roses, Allura’s white hair, Shiro’s back muscles and Allura’s eyes. These two could probably kick his ass and they’re a few of Matt’s favorite things”

★ Obviously exasperated Pidge voice: You guys just need to bone
    Stern Matt voice: What did you say?
    Pleading Hunk voice: Please don’t say it again
    Not Caring Pidge voice: I said you guys need to bone
    Shocked, Furious Matt voice: B O N E!?

★ They visit a planet with very tall aliens and of course shenanigans ensure

★ Keith voice: Y’know Allura, Shiro, you should probably hold Matt’s hand, so he can’t get lost everyone around here is pretty tall

  • **Disappointed, obviously knows what you’re doing Shiro Glare**
  • Completely oblivious, already grabbing Matt’s hand Allura voice: Of course! We wouldn’t want that!”
  • **Undignified, silent squeal from Matt**

★ Hunk voice: The stars sure are beautiful tonight
    Lance voice: Y’know what else is beautiful?
    Pidge and Keith voices: A loving relationship between Matt, Shiro and Allura

★ Eventually, the time comes where there’s a serious fight that both Shiro and Allura have to go through alone, and Matt freaks tf out and terribly confesses to the both of them:

  • “Okay, listen tf up. I can’t do that dramatic thing where I pull you down and kiss you and say, ‘Come back to me’ since there’s two of you. But I will say that I love you both, and if you dont come back i’m taking out the entire Galran Empire myself”

★ Allura and Shiro are both shocked but Matt is already fast walking away so they can’t say anything

  • They come back and make a beeline for him
  • “LISTNE IVE KNOWN HIM LONGER PRINCESS”
  • “I QUIZNAKING SAVED YOUR BUTT BACK THERE I GET TO KISS HIM FIRST”
  • Allura makes it to him first

★ Keith cries, Pidge and Hunk pull out a confetti cannon they made for this occasion, Lance falls to his knees in victory, Coran pulls out a cake. Everything is good in the Universe.


[Read Part One// Pre! Kerberos! Matt HC here!]

Your hands are Really Nice- Jughead Jones

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Description: (requested) Reader is too shy to tell Jughead about her feelings, so Veonica and Betty take matters in to their own hands (mostly Veronica)

Warnings: Swears, fluff so much fluff I couldn’t even deAL

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Being in love with your best friend isn’t easy. It feels taboo, like it’s wrong, and unhealthy. You’ll lay awake at ungodly hours of the night, wondering “How did this happen?” You’ll replay every moment of every waking minute you spent with them, wondering how in the world you ended up lying on your floor with an empty bowl of ramen beside your head and imagining what it would feel like to kiss them. You’ll catch yourself admiring the tiniest insignificant things about them, and every detail of their stupidly cute face, and every indent and curve and freckle on their body, and let me tell you, it sucks. Falling in love with your best friend isn’t easy, especially when your best friend is Jughead Jones.


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Get Into My Car

Title: Get Into My Car

Summary:  Dean and the reader are enjoying a night out, until someone ruins the evening

Author:  Dean’s Dirty Little Secret

Characters:  Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Reader

Word Count: 1889

Warnings:  Body shaming, derogatory terms directed toward a plus-sized reader, drinking, explicit language, explicit sexual content, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, smut, nsfw

Author’s Notes:  Written for two challenges: @winchester-writes Drinking Writing Challenge. My drink was Glenfiddich Scotch and my prompt was “What is everyone staring at?!” and @butiaintgonnaloveem Baby’s Big 50 Writing Challenge. My song was Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car by Billy Ocean. Thank you to @feelmyroarrrr for the amazing idea. This wouldn’t have been possible without my bestie, @mamapeterson and her support, encouragement and words. Love you, T.

Originally posted by spn-spam

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Vodka

This is sorta lame and cheesy, but it’s basically just a fluffy Imagine about Tom being a cute boyfriend and taking care of his drunk girlfriend💗
Author’s Note: This is a oneshot inspired by sorta me? My mom had a party and made a ton of mixed drinks, and because I’m a dumb baby that never drinks, I forgot that vodka literally punches you in a face when you drink too much of it? Anyways, I got drunk and ended up crying to one of my cousins for about 40 minutes about all the reasons why I love Tom? Apparently, I’m even more cheesy and sentimental drunk than I am sober, who knew lol?

Vodka
She giggled to herself, ankles knocking into each other as she braced herself on the door of her apartment. She was absolutely, completely, and undeniably smashed. Truly, she couldn’t even remember how she’d gotten this way, but then again, she could barely recall her uber ride home.
Her hands kept shaking and she couldn’t find the correct key to fit itself into the doorknob. At this rate, she’d be out all night.
Tom paused the film he was watching and glanced back towards the front door. He was pretty sure that he could hear someone out there, but it was probably just their neighbor’s being noisy. Allowing the film to regain his full attention, he did his best to ignore the strange sounds outside, until he heard something that replicated her giggle.
His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. She was supposed to be at a sleepover with her best friends, not coming home at one in the morning? Tom got up and made his way over to the window by the door. Peeking out, he saw that the giggle outside indeed belonged to her, and she appeared to be struggling hugely with the task of opening the door.
Quickly crossing to help her inside, Tom yanked open the door and barely had time to catch her as she crashed in on top of him.
“Tom!” She yelped excitedly, making no effort to move off of him, instead cuddling further into him, while he laid sprawled across the floor with her lying on his chest. “Do you wanna hear a joke? It’s so dirty and I know how you love dirty things!” She explained innocently, her eyelashes tickling his neck.
Tom chuckled, “Darling, come on up here. We’ve gotta close the door.”
“Okay, I’ll tell you!” She leaned over him, “What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?”
“You’re absolutely wrecked.” Tom laughed, taking in her mussed up appearance. She still looked good, how could she not? Her skirt was just shorter, her breasts were more exposed than she’d be comfortable with sober, and her eyemakeup was slightly smudged. Her hair tumbled down her back in messy waves and she teetered on her high heels.
If she had come home sober, Tom would’ve dragged her off to bed with him, but alas, she was drunk and needed to be taken care of.
“She gagged!” His girlfriend giggled, finishing up the butt of her joke. “Do you get it?”
Tom burst out laughing and cradled the back of her head as he rolled her onto her side so that he could get up to lock the door. “Yes, baby, I do. Where’d you hear that one?”
She didn’t even seem to have registered what he asked her because, in response, she said, “I don’t think I’d be Cinderella if I was a disney princess. She gags, but not me. I don’t gag, unless you make me.”
“Oh my gosh, you’re going to be so embarrassed in the morning.” Tom said, slipping his hands beneath her arms to pick her up. Helping her down the hallway to their bedroom, he asked, “Darling, how come you’re not with your friends right now?”
She blinked her eyes slowly and licked her lips. “We were all talking, and drinking. So, so, so much drinking. Did you know that vodka is strong? Like, it’s so strong, because, I’m not sure if you can tell, but,” She leaned closer to his chest and pressed herself up onto her tippy toes to whisper in his ear, “I’m kinda drunk right now.”
Turning his head towards her, he decided to play along, “Are you serious? I’d had no clue.”
“Well, yes! Anywho,” She dragged out the last letter of anywho before she tripped over herself again.
Tom caught her and slipped a firmer hand around her waist. “Anywho?” He pressed.
“We were all talking about our boyfriends, and how much we love them, because, I love you so much. And then, we started talking about the stuff we do with our boyfriends.” She paused in the hallway to poke Tom’s chest, “That’s my favorite shirt on you.”
“Darling, I’m not wearing a shirt?” Tom said, cocking his head to the side.
“I know,” She smiled, “That’s why it’s my favorite.” She gestured to Tom’s exposed midriff, “This is all great. Like, you look so good. The best.”
Tom dissolved into laughter and shook his head, “My silly, drunk girl. What are we going to do with you?”
“Well, you see, what I’d like you to do with me is make-out. That’s really why I came home. We started talking about some things,” She cupped her hand around Tom’s ear and whispered, “Sexy time things. And we all agreed that I should come home to you so that we could do the sexy time things. Because, I wanna do them, with you.”
Finally crossing the threshold of their bedroom, Tom placed her gently onto the bed and tried to ignore her last statement. Yes, she was his girlfriend. Yes, she’d just told him that she wanted him, and yes, he obviously wanted her too. But, she was drunk, much too drunk to consent to sex with him.
Tonight, Tom would be a good boyfriend and take care of her, but, in the morning, Tom would be a good boyfriend and he’d give her at least 2 orgasms with 2 advil pills to chase away her headache before breakfast.
“Sweet girl, we can’t right now. You’ve been drinking too much, you’re absolutely wasted.” Tom tried to reason with her.
“No, no I’m not. If I was drunk, could I do this?” She took a deep breath, “‘May I feel said he/ (I’ll squeal said she/ just once said he) It’s fun said she/ (May I touch said he/ How much said she/ A lot said he) Why not said she.”
Tom cut her off, “Sweetheart, nothing you say matters right now, you’re too drunk. Now just let me help you out of that dress.” Shaking his head, Tom laughed as he walked over to her with an oversized sweatshirt of his in his hand. Only she would be able to quote E.E. Cummings completely inebriated.
Kneeling in front of her, Tom lifted one of her feet onto his lap to unbuckled her high heeled shoe. Undoing the clasp and carefully removing the heel, he pressed a tender kiss to the top of her foot.
“You know, I like it a lot better when you’re on your knees for a different reason.” She pouted, sitting up to watch him.
Tom chuckled again as he began to remove her other shoe, “Trust me darling, so do I. Roll over-” He didn’t even get to finish his sentence when she interjected.
“Are you gonna spank me?” She asked, rolling over. Her tiny dress had ridden up even more and Tom had to bite down on his lower lip and clasp his hands together to prevent himself from doing just that.
“You’re making this really difficult.” Tom muttered.
“Then do something about it. I thought bad girls got spankings?” She teased him, eyeing the hardness growing within his pajama bottoms.
“Stop it, I’m trying to take care of you and you’re making it really hard.” Tom groaned.
“I can tell,” She giggled.
“For fucks sake,” Tom rolled his eyes, “I’m going to help you out of the dress, and that’s all the touching I’m going to do tonight. Then, I’m going to take off your makeup, and you’re going to go to sleep.”
“Tom,” She whined, wriggling around on the bed, “I don’t wanna. I want you to do me.”
Tom laughed, “You’re going to die in the morning, oh my gosh. You’re such a child.”
“Ugh!” She whined and flattened out onto the mattress.
Sitting down behind her on the bed, Tom rolled her over and unzipped the back of her dress. He did his best to not look, but the zipper kept getting caught in her hair, and he couldn’t ignore the soft skin of her back. He saw that she’d chosen to wear the pretty, light pink, lace bra that she’d been wearing the first time they’d had sex. Groaning over the memories, he helped her rid her body of the confining fabric of her dress and had slid his sweatshirt over her body.
She turned to lay on her back, “Will you at least kiss me?”
“Yes,” Tom placed a soft kiss on her mouth, “Do you wanna get up to go to the bathroom to take off your makeup, or do you want me to do it for you here?”
“Hmmm, here.” She sat up and stuck her hands inside of the sweatshirt, only to toss her bra off seconds later.
Tom’s eye lingered on her chest as he got up to retrieve her makeup wipes.
“I love youuuuu.” She said, hugging herself to his chest after Tom had successfully cleansed her face of all traces of makeup. “You’re my favorite, even though you refuse to fuck me.”
Tom tucked the duvet under her chin and crawled in behind her. He kissed her temple and curled an arm around her, “I love you too darling.”
He prayed to the high heavens above that she wouldn’t feel his excitement poking her in the back while she drifted off and into dreamland.

Suga Daddy: Part 8

Suga Daddy: 8

Word count: 8.3k

Genre/Warnings: angst, dirty talk, language 

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi tells you about his past but is terrified of how you’ll take it.

This came a little early than expected. Anyway, enjoy and thanks for reading.

Parts: {playlist} one | two | three | four | five | six | seven 

Everything felt like it was playing out and slow-motion and all you were doing was twirling the flowers in your hand. You were nauseated and your mind was racing with every possible scenario. You knew that Yoongi couldn’t have a squeaky clean record. Especially with his attitude and the way he talked to you sometimes. For some reason you still loved him, despite that.

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