It makes me very sad that they intended to bring Tara back in S7 but couldn't because her actress wouldn't come back :( which is also why I don't get why they don't bring her back in the comics. Whedon said he wanted to bring her back in the show (a year after her death) so... Since the comics don't require the actress, why haven't they done it?
Amber Benson did refuse to come back in Season 7, as a First Evil manifestation in Conversations with Dead People (“I just think bringing her back and making her a bad guy was not quite right for me, but I know there’s a way to do it that would be beneficial to the fans.”). Then Joss Whedon said he intended to bring Tara actually back in an episode exactly one year after Seeing Red, in which Buffy would be granted one wish and reverse Tara’s death – ironically, in this same panel he mentioned he’d soon be filming the now canceled project Ripper. Here’s a good interview with Amber about the case:
“You had people who posted on the Internet saying, ‘Thank God, Tara’s dead!” Benson recalls, “but then this plethora of people going, ‘Oh. My. God. I’m never watching that show again!” Apparently, they meant it. Buffy’s ratings dropped an average of 15 percent following Tara’s demise. “Really?” Benson responds in surprise when I mentioned it. Whedon eventually washed his hands of the controversy by claiming he “didn’t care” about social issues, but it wasn’t so simple for Benson. “[Joss] wasn’t Tara,” she explains. “He didn’t walk in her shoes.” […]
Does she believes killing Tara was a mistake? “What I feel and what they chose are not the same thing, but… I wish they hadn’t killed her,“ she says. Benson was asked to return as Tara – actually, as an evil version of Tara – in Buffy’s seventh and final season. […] “There were a lot of other reasons [I didn’t go back], but one was that I didn’t want [Tara] to go bad,” she says. “As an actor, of course, it appeals to me to play kind of evil and bitchy and sexy, but, as a human being who gets letters that say, ‘I didn’t kill myself because of what you and Alyson did,’ that part of me goes, ‘You’re not just an actor anymore; you’re making a social commentary now, baby. You’ve got to be responsible.’ And I couldn’t be responsible coming back, because as an actor you have no control.”
And what about Joss Whedon’s accusation over the summer that he had always planned a glorious, romantic reunion for Tara and Willow but Benson played the spoiler? You can almost hear her wince over the phone. “Yeah, that’s been bandied about in the press a lot,” she sighs. “You know, sometimes people tell you one thing in this world, and then things don’t turn out the way you’re told,” she says. “Who knows what Joss had 100 percent planned in his mind? I’m not psychic. I just didn’t want anyone else hurt after everything that had happened. When a character has that kind of social impact, you just don’t have the right to do anything else to her. I know Joss had good intentions, but for me, personally and professionally, it wasn’t the right decision. Besides,” she says, “I was super busy. I’d moved on from Buffy.”
So the question is: why did they kill Tara in the first place? Was she ever a priority? Why this attitude of playing like everything was meticulously planned? Would her return in other circumstances confirm it as a mistake? Why this current repetitive effort in explaining it would be unfair to bring her back, instead of trying to create a story in which it wouldn’t? Why didn’t Willow have a lasting and developing relationship ever again? Why do some characters simply go away, others are killed, and some are resurrected? Why Buffy doing the bare minimum for women and LGBT representation guarantees the series to be always remembered as a good women/LGBT show? Why do tropes like bury your gays, queerbaiting, and women in refrigerators are still a thing?
I think you know the answer.