When I first saw the episode The End (5X04) I struggled with it, and I think a lot of people did and still do struggle with it because it’s heavy. Thanks to wonderful meta writers (looking at you lurea) and several re-watches in order to process it, it is actually one of my Top Five Favorites. This episode is a masterpiece.
Castiel is the CENTRAL FOCUS of The End (5X04). Specifically Castiel in relation to Dean.
Okay so it is truly a layered episode (aren’t they all?). The brothers have gone separate ways and the main point to drive home is that they’re stronger together rather than apart. This is the lesson Dean learns from the start to the finish of the episode. But everything in between is focused on the Dean and Cas relationship. Because saying no to Michael doesn’t just ruin Dean, Sam and the world. It wrecks and kills Cas.
This future (aka Endverse) was shown to Dean by the angel Zachariah in order to manipulate Dean into doing what heaven wanted (saying yes to Michael and being his vessel).
Parallel that with this:
A human-angel hybrid named Jack showed Castiel a future in order to manipulate him into doing what he wanted (keep him and his vessel, aka mother, safe until birth).
I believe Cas’ vision of The Future (12X19) includes Dean Winchester, just as the vision of Dean’s future in The End included Castiel. Say it with me: circular narrative.
Even the titles of each episode make me want to squee and roll around on the floor in delight. Now, we were not told that Dean was part of Cas’ vision so don’t go making t-shirts. I think we received some misdirection about Cas’ vision in 12X23 so for now this is MY head canon that Dean is in Cas’ vision of the future.
12x23 has an apocalyptic world where the Winchesters are facing off with Lucifer and Castiel ends up dead. Lucifer did say we’d all end up here despite things being changed and altered. ‘Here’ is relative, not exactly the same date or the same garden, etc.
But Jack, our naked little angel-man, has superseded his father in showing Castiel a future beyond death, beyond The End. We didn’t get a resolution to The End in 5X04. We saw Lucifer as the victor. I do not think Lucifer will be the victor any longer. We may have “…ended up here,” but the results will not be the same. Lucifer will be defeated. Jack and TFW will be key in that.
But I digress because I didn’t start this post to even talk about 12x23, though it definitely parallels. So you’re welcome for that tangent. Back to the regularly scheduled program…
A lot of people believe that Endverse was something Zachariah made up. Considering that Dean kept the Camp Chitaqua photo (we see Mary looking at it in 12x02 - “Mamma Mia”), I believe it was an actual timeline that was very, very, real. Especially as we’re coming full circle with the story, which felt like a forgotten plot for a very long time. Thank you, Dabb!
The issue isn’t whether it was real or not, though. It could be faker than fake but the message is still clear: show Dean what will happen to his loved ones, especially Castiel, if he says no to Michael. Zachariah made sure that Castiel was at the front and center of Dean’s visit to Endverse because what does matter is what Dean takes away from the experience.
Unbeknownst to him, Cas was heaven’s Trojan Horse. The angels used Castiel as a pawn. Have you ever wondered why they never just killed him for his doubts and for trying to warn Dean in that dream (4X20)?! Consider this: instead of smiting him for disobedience (angels have proven to kill for much less) they reprogram him again and again, keeping him close to Dean because Dean trusts Cas. In fact they see that there is something much, much deeper between Dean and Cas than I think those two were aware of at the time.
“When a claim is laid on a living soul it leaves a mark, a brand,” Castiel tells us. (6X03 “The Third Man). Cas literally claimed Dean on his rescue mission to get Dean out of Hell, whether he meant to or not. The implications of such an act are not written out explicitly for us but we see that these two are connected, bonded. Faithless Dean had faith in Cas without a whole lot to go on almost from the get-go.
When Dean had sex with Anna, she laid her hand over Cas’ handprint tentatively. She was fascinated by Castiel’s mark and would know a lot more about what exactly it means than we do. I think her pause over the print tells us it does mean something significant. Anna knew.
Uriel, in another episode, calls Cas’ affection for Dean a weakness. He says it with a cocky self-assured smirk. He knows that he and the other angels can use it against them.
So anyway, Zachariah WANTED Dean to see how broken, addicted and suicidal Cas would become because of Dean’s choice. They knew that the state of Cas’ well-being would be a huge influence, if not the biggest influence, in coercing Dean to do as they wanted. The focus of that future, Dean’s future, was Cas.
They threaten Dean with Cas, as a metaphorical hostage. “See, Cas here? See how you have this intimacy with him as the world crumbles around you? But see how fucked and broken you’ve become? You’re a monster. See how bad that fucks Cas up? You get Cas killed. All because you say no to Michael.” The angels knew.
Do you comprehend what I’m tellin’ ya? Past!Dean’s sole focus wasn’t the Colt, wasn’t Lucifer, wasn’t himself and it wasn’t even all about Sam. Sure, those things are in there but they are honorable mentions. Everything came back to Cas.
The. Focus. Is. Cas.
We do see Dean interact with his future self, with Chuck, etc. But most of the dialogue in Endverse is with and about Cas. Cas is shown in the center of most shots, in closeups and isn’t far from Dean in most scenes. Hell, when future!Dean kills one of his infected men he says to everyone else, “I’m not going to lie to you. Me and him got a messed up situation going,” and we assume he’s talking about past!Dean.
But the camera and the remaining men look beyond past!Dean and he follows their line of sight to a blurry Cas who then comes into focus. Because… The. Focus. Is. Cas. Everything else is background noise: Luci and archangel vessels and Sam and the apocalypse.
Despite his crap choices to torture a demon to find the Colt, and to kill his Croatoan-infected people, future!Dean still cared about what Cas thought of him and that is why he guiltily made the comment about Cas. Dean’s future heavily included Cas in a very intimate, private way. So private that the writers did not come right out and tell us but instead showed us by carefully constructed omission. Can we all curl up into balls and cry now?!
The whole “…got a messed up situation going,” is just that: Cas is still in love with Dean even though he’s become a monster. Cas could have and should have left long ago, but he didn’t. It probably perplexed Dean’s men. Because Cas wasn’t just sticking around to kill Lucifer (in fact he didn’t agree with the idea AT ALL in 2009 AND in Endverse). He was solely there for Dean.
Remember when Cas said he was going to watch Dean murder the world (10X22)? Do you think for one moment Dean didn’t go, “Shit, he really will stand back and watch me murder the world. He did exactly that in Endverse.”
THAT MOMENT in 10X22 is when he knows Endverse wasn’t some manip from Zachariah. In 10X22, Dean visibly swallows and looks away at Cas’ words because they affect him. He had enough humanity in him in that moment to feel something there. He does still lose control and he beats Cas, who doesn’t fight back, but something (Cas’ plea) momentarily breaks through the curse.
Then what does Dean do? He isolates himself, gets blacked-out drunk and suicidal, destroys his hotel room in a fit of rage and emotional pain. This is a moment that “hurt something awful” and he didn’t actually go through with killing Cas this time. I’m sure he’s imagining how much worse he’d be off if he HAD killed Cas.
THIS is when he becomes desperate enough to get rid of the Mark, when he realizes how badly he’s hurt Cas and is becoming a monster. It wasn’t when he beat Sam or murdered rooms full of people. Nope, HIS WEAKNESS IS CAS. Dean is so desperate to not become “that thing again,” that thing that he knows could make him kill Cas, that he’s willing to kill his brother with Death’s scythe. Dean knows how close he was to going over the edge.
This is another reason I believe Zachariah’s vision was real, because Cas predictably cannot and will not hurt Dean, even if it means he destroys the world. The angels knew, long before Dean and even Cas knew, that Cas was Dean’s weakness. How flipping crazy is that?! And yikes, I didn’t mean to stumble into 10X22 but when the writers intricately tie multiple story lines together it just cannot be avoided.
Back to Endverse. Future!Dean turned into his father: a ruthless, cold-hearted, vengeful shell of a man (something Bobby told him, more than once, not to become when Dean suffered loss because it is canon that this is what Dean can become). A demon stole Mary from John and he became, in Dean’s words, an obsessed bastard. A demon stole Sam from Dean and he became the obsessed bastard.
But is he all bad? We can see the faintest hint of hurt on future!Dean’s face when Cas says, “What? I like past you,” when past!Dean makes a comment about torture. But I think Dean loses his last sliver of humanity when he sends Cas to his death. Past!Dean had said, “You mean you’re gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas, too?” Cas was singled out as being significantly more important than everyone else and past!Dean could not even comprehend that future!Dean would sacrifice Cas of all people. *sobbing*
Dean meets Samifer after future!Dean gets his neck broken and that is when we get back to the plot of the brothers being archangel meat suits and how badly this does affect Dean. Because it isn’t just his future with Cas at stake. Sammy’s life is at stake. The world is at stake.
Zachariah pulls Dean back to our reality and gives the whole spiel on hoping Dean has learned his lesson. Cas is not brought up in this conversation and he doesn’t need to be. Because out of fucking nowhere he pulls Dean to safety where he was still waiting on the side of the road, in the dark, when Dean told him to pop in in the morning. Why is that significant?
I think Dean was praying/longing/reaching out to Cas. So Cas pulls him out and throws out the line about having an appointment but we all know the appointment wasn’t for that time or that place. He was saving Dean the embarrassment of being told, “I heard you praying in your mind when I know you’re still weirded out by praying.” A few seconds later Cas asks Dean how Zachariah found him. Damn it, y’all, Cas freaking FELT Dean’s prayer and/or longing. No one can tell me otherwise.
The narrative and cameras have once again swung back around to Cas. Dean gives him such a look of tenderness. He steps close and places a hand on Cas’ shoulder and gives the infamous, “Don’t ever change,” line.
Cas is Dean’s beacon of light, of hope, of faith. Zachariah was just threatening Dean and here is Dean melting into a puddle of heart eyes, invading Cas’ personal space to touch him, and even giving a bit of a smile (albeit a sad one).
With Cas watching over him, Dean feels safe. He trusts him. He pulls out his phone and calls Sam to make amends, to hopefully thwart Endverse from happening. So that Sam doesn’t become Lucifer’s puppet, so that Dean doesn’t become a monster and so that Cas doesn’t ever change.
The End is honestly very, very sad. Which is why it’s awesome to know that there is still The Future.
So where am I going with this? I just wanted you all to know that no matter what is changed, whatever is altered, Dean will end up with Cas. He had a crap vision of a crap future with Cas that ended in death. But Cas has received a new vision, a better vision, a hope-filled and faith-filled vision of a future that I wholeheartedly believe includes Cas and Dean together, in a happy endgame.
Jack is going to overcome Lucifer’s plans of destruction, which is a WHOLE other meta about fathers versus sons, and their legacies and all that jazz but I’ll leave you with this:
Lucifer LOVED his father, God, but was punished and abandoned. Dean LOVED John but was abused and neglected. Castiel LOVED Heaven/Humanity but was broken and brainwashed.
Jack, a son, is going to break the cycle, y’all. He may have looked creepy AF in 12x23 but I believe he is going to serve an amazing purpose to the narrative in subverting early SPN plots of self-destructive, codependent, suicidal and depressing behavior. It may be shaky at first but Jack will learn. Baby steps!
I CANNOT WAIT!
I talk about 5X04 a lot and I believe every single one of my fics includes mentions of Endverse!Cas. To me, this was the turning point in Dean and Cas’ relationship and one of several reasons why Dean didn’t want to allow himself to fall in love with Cas, and didn’t want Cas to change. Just one reason, of course, as there are others. It’s complicated, all of it. But for me this episode, which followed the Desitel-heavy “Free to Be You and Me”, was a bad blow to Dean’s heart. He knew a future with Cas was a possibility but at what cost?
Obvs they’ll overcome because The End was dark but The Future is bright.
I leave you with a reminder from Chuck:
Past!Dean: “Hey, Chuck, is Cas still here?” Chuck: “Yeah, I don’t think Cas is going anywhere.”
TheTwistedWillow June 20, 2017 Edited 6/27/17 for typos but there are probably still some. *SHRUGS*
I wrote another Be More Chill fic. Plenty sad. Plenty angst. No death. This time. Woo. Anyway…
Michael Mell readjusted his backpack straps, as he made his way through the halls of his high school. The night before, Michael and Jeremy had finally gotten past level 8 of Apocalypse of the Damned, which had led to a celebration, which had led to five gallons of Mountain Dew: Code Red to be consumed between the pair, which had led to a sugar high of incomparable proportions, which had led to the crash of a lifetime, which had led to them both sleeping through the alarms on their phone. Jeremy had rushed home to grab some fresh clothes and see if he dad could take him to school late, leaving Michael to make his way to school on his own.
The halls were silent, as class was in session and Michael briefly contemplated just going back home and getting high. No one would notice. Except, last time he had ditched school, his mom had yelled at him and had commanded that Jeremy not come over for a week. It had been the first time in months that his mother had even bothered looking up from her computer to devote even a sliver of attention toward her son. For a moment, Michael considered whether it would be worth losing Jeremy for a week, just to have his mom remember his existence.
No, he’d just have to make it to his class, and stutter out some excuse about traffic in front of school, if the teacher ended up noticing his late entrance. Michael had nearly made it to his English classroom, when someone grabbed his backpack and slammed him into the row of lockers he had been passing. Michael groaned as his chin took the brunt of the impact, before turning to face his aggressor.
Summary: Baekhyun was your first love when you were sixteen. It was passionate, hot, and messy. But all of that ended six years ago, after a four-year battle for your relationship. Now, you’re twenty-six years old and still reeling from the relationship when suddenly, Baekhyun shows up on your doorstep.
Another lonely night. You sighed to yourself as you grabbed a bottle of wine from the kitchen, flicked on the TV, and kicked off your boots.
Work had been especially exhausting today and you wanted to drown your sorrows in the bottle of cheap red wine – or well, you wanted to drown the fact that your boss made several attempts at you to the point where you were close to losing your job. He was a pig, and couldn’t keep his hands off your thighs, but you tried to keep your mouth shut because you needed to pay your mortgage. With the personality, you had developed in the years of working journalism, you wanted to tell him off. But you couldn’t.
It was only four pm, but you didn’t care as you uncorked the wine and drunk straight from the bottle. The wine tasted bad, but what tasted worse was the agonizing past six years of your life. More so, the drama you just dealt with.
Six months ago, you had a bad breakup. A man you were with for two years. A man that you thought you loved – although thinking back, you should have known better. You knew what love felt like because you had once had the most passionate and heart-stopping love when you were a teenager. This man didn’t make your heart stop and he didn’t make you feel passion. But you were with him and you were infatuated. So much where you had quickly gotten married a year in and tried to get pregnant. At the age of twenty-five, you thought it was about time to have children. You had a husband, a good job, and a supportive family – there was nothing stopping you.
Okay, well there was one thing. That love from six years ago? The love that lasted four long years from age sixteen to twenty? The love still haunted you. There were still some nights that you cried in private. Not that you told anyone. Not even your best friend, Jae.
Apparently, that wasn’t going to be the only thing stopping you. After six months of negative pregnancy tests, you went to the clinic and discovered you had endometriosis – and you may never have children. Your husband at the time was furious, so you were willing to undergo the fertility treatments which caused immense pain and made you weak. The next six months of negative pregnancy tests sent your husband out the door. Making you now, twenty-six and divorced.
Even though it hurt you at the time, you were now thankful for seeing your ex-husband’s true colors that made you glad that you never bore his children.
Jae begged you to get back into dating shortly after the divorce, but you couldn’t. You didn’t have the strength or the heart to go anything remotely close to your last two relationships. Instead, you stuck to the occasional one night stand that left you feeling dirty and self-hateful. It’s silly, but as a twenty-six-year-old woman, you often thought back to high school and how you wondered how differently things could have gone if you went back and changed fate.
The four years that made up the biggest roller coaster in your life. You could recount the events clearly. You had met the love of your life at sixteen years old, when you were dating one of his close friends. Somehow, the two of you managed to fall in love while you were dating his friend and things weren’t going well with his friend anyway. You two broke off mutually and quickly got with him. It was hot and heavy from there.
Everyone around you was worried by how fast you and he went, talking about marriage and loving each other so early in the relationship. Adults warned you, but you both only laughed thinking that nothing could tear you apart. You both lost your virginity to each other and suffered a few pregnancy scares early on. But it didn’t tear you apart.
Year two in your relationship brought a lot of fights. He got easily jealous and so did you. Leading to three breakups in that year. He was jealous of your relationship with his friends, especially the one you once dated and you were jealous of the girls that flocked around him and his crew.
After the last breakup that year, he promised to marry you and gave you the prettiest ring you had ever laid your eyes on. Shortly after, you had ended up pregnant. The fear in his eyes that day was one of your most vivid memories. You guys freaked out, thinking of ways to tell your family and promising to make things work. You were ready to tell your parents and get married, but you had a miscarriage at six weeks.
You went through a lot of emotional turmoil and it caused problems between you and him – again you guys broke up. He quickly started dating one of the girls who fawned over his crowd and so you went to one of the guys from his crowd as well. You both dated others to spite each other and it was some of your darkest days as you still went through the trauma from the miscarriage.
Rumors went around school, that he had started sleeping around and you learned it to be true. It crushed you but you didn’t dare sleep with anyone else, not even his friend. After six months of him sleeping around and you broke up with his friend, you both found your way back to each other. Hooking up on a drunken night and admitted you both still loved each other. Somehow you guys made it work, even though you fought a lot on your third year together.
The fourth year was quieter – at first, as you both tried figuring out how to spend your lives. You wanted to be a journalist and he wanted to be a musical artist. You tried to fit each other in your lives with difficulty. It worked for a while, as you both went down different paths at different schools. With your past, there was still insecurity with each other and since he had never given you your promise ring back, you questioned the love. You guys fought on it, until he left and he ended up getting drunk and cheating on you.
You cried until you passed out. You didn’t eat and you wouldn’t talk to anyone. For a week, you wallowed until you had bags under your eyes, your cheeks were sunken in, and you had a headache that wouldn’t quit. He showed up to the apartment that you stayed at with Jae and begged to speak to you, but Jae didn’t allow it at first. Not until you said you’d talk to him. He begged for forgiveness, apologizing with tears streaming down his cheeks. He told you how much he had loved you and how he would marry you right then and there to prove it. He clutched the promise ring and what seemed like another ring in his other hand.
‘Now you want to give me the promise ring? You waited till you fucked up before you gave it to me. Why? So, you could say that even though you cheated on me, it’s not like you promised me anything, right?’
You cried too hard to deal with him anymore and as he reached to grab your hand, Jae pushed him out of the way and slammed the door as you fell apart. And you stayed like that for a long time.
You pulled yourself back into reality, realizing you had downed the whole wine bottle while thinking back on old times. You could feel that your cheeks were wet with wasteful tears. You knew better. There was no point to waste tears on someone who didn’t truly love you. You shook your head. Besides, that was years ago. For all you knew, he was married with children. You shivered at the though. Closing your eyes.
Your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you reached to grab it, feeling a little tipsy as you accidentally dropped the wine bottle to the ground and getting a few drops on the carpet. You groaned and went to the kitchen to get a wet towel.
When you came back, you scrubbed the floor relentlessly, trying to get the dark red from your perfect white shag carpet. You groaned and scrubbed harder until it was a faint pink. Just as you got most of it out, your phone continued going off. You groaned and were going to get it but as you stood up, you bumped your head on the coffee table.
“Really? Just my f-fucking l-luck.” You rubbed your head as the door bell rung and you stumbled over to get it. You weren’t wasted, but the wine had you tipsy for sure. You sighed, wondering if Jae could work her motherly magic on the carpet and get the stain out. She had become so helpful and knowledgeable after having two kids with her husband.
The doorbell rung furiously and you yelled, “Alright, I’m fucking coming” angrily.
You opened the door without a second thought. “Y/N.” The voice said tenderly when you had fully opened it. The person was blurry until you focused on their eyes for a few moments.
“Baekhyun.” You whispered before your eyes widened and you slammed the door shut as fast as possible. You slumped to the ground. How did he find you? It had been six years and nothing from him. Why now? Why was your first love and your first heartbreak back?
You retrieved your phone from your pocket and scrolled through the messages that Jae had blown you up with.
-I don’t know how to say this 5:10pm
-Well, don’t open your front door 5:11pm
-Y/N! Why aren’t you reading these! I KNOW YOU’RE OFF WORK. 5:12pm
-Don’t open your door when the doorbell rings. 5:13pm
-Don’t do it! 5:13pm
-ABORT DON’T OPEN THE DOOR 5:16pm
-It’s Baekhyun… I’m sorry. 5:20pm
-Sehun flapped his fucking lips and told. 5:20pm
-I swear I told him not to. 5:20pm
-Seriously! Answer my messages and don’t open the door. I’m sorry he knows where you live. We can move and change your name. I don’t like this neighborhood anyway. Ha. It’s shit. I won’t even bring Sehun since he was the one who decided to tell Baekhyun. 5:25pm
-He said that Baekhyun was all upset and shit and you know how Sehun is a softy. 5:26pm
-Wait why did I tell you that? 5:26pm
-Delete these messages. 5:26pm
-Except for the ones that say don’t open the door. Really don’t open the door. 5:27pm
Every muscle in Andrew’s body aches. His leg muscles are knotted and tight, and his racquet feels like lead in his hands, his fingers screaming in agony when he tightens his grip. He rolls his shoulders to try and displace some of the invisible weight digging into the tissue there and looks up just in time to see Neil bounding over towards him. Even through the cage of his helmet, Andrew can see the wide smile plastered across the striker’s face.
“We did it! We fucking did it!”
Andrew glances up at the score board hanging above the court, the bright red 12 and 11 glaring back at him. When he brings his eyes back down, Neil is standing in front of him. The striker’s cheeks are tinged pink from exertion and a few strands of his bangs are plastered to his forehead, but his eyes are bright and his grin is wide.
“I don’t know how you saved that last shot, but I think it might have been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
Andrew rolls his eyes and pushes past Neil, but the striker merely turns on his heel and falls into step alongside him.
There's no limit to what I would give for Monster part 5 in Taehyung's POV
Haha, well here it is. It’s 1.4k, oops. Monster 5.
There weren’t many things Taehyung
respected, but Jungkook’s plea was one of them.
if, in some crazy scenario, she wants me to fuck her?”
will never want that, I know her.”
she wants that, then it’s fine. But don’t go out chasing her, she’s too good
And here you were, lying under him,
letting him rub you with his throbbing dick, letting him use you on somebody’s
bed, with Jungkook just feet away from you. He always got to do whatever he
wanted, but he could never do you – and now he was doing it.
Request: AHHHH I love your bulletlists so much oh my gosh yesyeysysyeysysysyzyyyy anyways! may i request a ridiculous bff!bts (if you can write humor). if not bff!bts sounds fun as it is :)))) Members: Jimin, Jungkook, V (bts) Genre: platonic fluff!!! Hyung line here: x
The supportive friend who tries to get into as many things as possible with you
And will definitely get into anything you mention liking so you can have someone to talk about it with
He just likes having lots of shared interests with you and he doesn’t want you to feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to about your favorite things!!
“Jimin I really appreciate this but if you’re busy with schedules you don’t have to watch Haikyuu-”
“NONSENSE if my best friend likes it then I have to as well!!”
Sings along to EVERYTHING and you love it
Likes it even more if you sing along with him, whether you’re good at singing or not he thinks it’s so much fun to belt music out together
Laughs at all your jokes no matter how terrible what a man
Asks for your opinion on lots of things, don’t be surprised if you get a text with a picture of two sweaters and him asking which one to buy
He likes having you involved in lots of little decisions because he thinks it’ll make you feel more included in his life and that’s very important to him tbh
He’ll carry you on his back tbh or at least try very hard to
“I need to,, exercise more”
“STOP RIGHT THeRE PARK JIMIN”
Please make this boy eat a lil more and remind him that his looks aren’t everything
He tends to be very hard on himself and when he gets like that he needs someone like you to reassure him and change his mind
He deeply appreciates anything and everything you do for him and will 100% take your words to heart when you sit him down and lecture him on going a little easier on himself
Very huggy friend!! We’ve seen how he is with Bangtan and he’s just like that with you too
He just thinks hugging is such a nice form of affection??? It doesn’t have to be romantic and it can show someone you care a lot about them yanno
Facetimes you whenever he’s away on tour
Sometimes it’s to talk sometimes it’s to brag like “hEYYY GUESS WHO’S AT A NICE HOTEL IN CHILEEEE NOT YOUUUUU”
He’s a sweetheart but he can also be a lil shithead like that too lmao
But he does like talking to you over facetime or skype while he’s on tour!! He talks to you all excited about everything that’s happened that day and all the things he tried
Always mentions the two of you going back there together one day as a fun trip where you guys can try all the things he thought you would enjoy!!
Tae and JK wanna come to the minute they heard about these plans but Jimin would only go if you gave the okay lmfao
You nag him to go to sleep when he starts yawning because boi you just travelled and performed a concert you need some rEST
And he giggles a little and goes yes yes okay okay don’t nag me geez but you can tell he’s glad you noticed and cared
Brings you snacks all the time what a man x2
He has all your favorites memorized because he buys you some so often
But sometimes he brings over super healthy stuff Jin made instead of said snacks and you’re just “You Lied To Me”
“Worth it you need to eat something healthy”
Likes it when you drop by to check on him!! Bring him food and water and he’ll be a happy boy and just laughs when the other members whine that you didn’t bring anything for them too
“I buy her snacks I get water bottle dibs”
Probably gives the members some anyways because we know he’s weak for them
HE’S JUST SUCH A SWEETIE???
Weirdly open about everything with you
From big things to small things he’s gonna tell you about all of em
It goes from “Being on stage really gave me this feeling that I know where I belong” to “you mean a lot to me thank you for being my friend” to “Jungkook and I just learned how to burp the first 11 letters of the alphabet and he told me not to tell you until we learn the whole thing but I’m doing it anyways”
We all saw his cute as fuck photos with Bogum you bet your ass he’s taking you on friend dates too
He googles places that look pretty and have places for you two to walk around in and explore
Likes it when they have little local shops for you guys to get unique souvenirs together that match
Totally has a matching bracelet from when you guys took a overnight trip to Japan and found a cute lil local store selling these hella simple bracelets that you both liked
He wears it ALL the time and has a photo of your guys with your wrists pressed together to show them off
TAKE AN ART CLASS WITH HIM THAT SOUNDS SO FUN
He gets hella into it and we all know he’s Extra as well as Creative so whatever he makes comes up really colorful and interesting
He knows artists really well so he’s really exciting to take these classes with you holy heck???
Tae, with paint on his clothes, face, hair, EVERYTHING, squinting at his painting: I went a picasso route with this- it’s abstract
You, leaning over: kinda looks like a drunk bear
Makes you a ceramic mug that says “Friends 4 ever” in English on it and he gets delighted whenever he comes over to see you sipping from it
Also go to karaoke with him!!!
He gets really goofy at karaoke as we all know and he has a lot of fun doing it with you, especially if he’s been feeling overwhelmed
He doesn’t always wanna have long talks about things that are bothering him, at least not right away
He just wants to spend some time with you doing something fun and interesting to get his mind off it until he’s ready to talk
Has matching homescreens with you!!
If he changes his then you have to too, and vice versa because he thinks it’s so neat that you guys match
Probably has matching code names with you
you guys argued over who gets to be Eagle One and who gets to be Eagle two until one of you finally just said you’d be called Falcon instead
He’s just such a fun-loving person to be friends with?? But that doesn’t mean he can’t be serious either
If you need to talk to him about something that’s more on that serious side, he’s there for you in a second, no questions asked and no funny business present
He does your hair for you, no matter what length it is
A lot of the times he makes it really dorky looking and then cracks up laughing
Wow I wanna be friends with Tae how lucky are you???
Will fight you over putting the milk in before the cereal, if you do it pretend like you don’t in front of him because someone needs to fight him
“Jungkook that is NOT how you eat cereal oh my GOD”
“I did not spend 7 hours at practice before coming to hang out with my best friend only to have you attack me like this what the heck”
Sends you memes at like 3 am and gets mad when you don’t send him memes back
You: Kookie it was 3 am I had my ringer turned off
Him: BUT WHAT IF I NEEDED YOU???
You: you sent me a blurry kermit meme
Him: YEAH BUT WHAT IF
You: why is this who you are as a person
Will go ghost hunting with you oh my god
BECAUSE IT SOUNDS REALLY FUN AND IF HE WENT WITH JUST THE MEMBERS IT WOULD MOSTLY BE THEM SCREAMING AND RUNNING OUT??
If you tell him you’re gonna do that too he’ll just have you grab onto his arm because nuh uh no way you’re sticking through this adventure with him
He just wants to go and have lots of exciting adventures with you!!
He thinks it’s fun to try new things that are exhilarating and it’s even more fun if he can do it with you
From roller coasters to train rides to random small towns around Korea, he’s ready to explore and make memories
Will also make you play video games with him
Especially Overwatch and gets playfully irritated if you guys wind up maining the same character for a while (the boy changes mains so often I stg-)
But he’ll try any video games you recommend too!! He’s looking to expand his gaming horizons if you approve of said game
Please tell him to stop eating sticky notes he might listen to you
Slings his arm around your shoulders a lot but otherwise he’s not the most touchy person in the world unless one of you are tired or upset
Likes it when you play with his hair while you guys watch TV together though
But real talk, he likes to sit out on balconies with you, the two of you sipping warm drinks as you just have long discussion
You get to talk about anything bothering the two of you and catch up on all the latest things that have been happening and stare out at the stars and people watch through the railings at the everyone meandering the streets down below
You’re visible to the world but not at the same time,, it makes him feel relaxed
As much as he loves his Bangtan brothers and his other idols friends, he’s really grateful to have you
You make him feel less like this super famous idol and more like Jungkook, the 20 something year old guy who likes to exercise and sing and play video games and have fun with his friends and stay up late doing something dorky
When he gets to spend time with you, he feels like the responsibilities and expectations sitting on his shoulders aren’t so heavy
Because he has you to rely on and help him feel more like a person amidst all the craziness of comebacks and tours and television
Warning: Swearing, this chapter is very angsty imo, smut smut smut, need I say more,
Plot: You are a member of your school’s student council and a major event pops up in the midst of your last year of high school. Managing studies, extra curriculum activities, social life and now this extravagant pain in the ass. There is no way this could get worse. Or is there?
“Y/N, could you come by the staff quarters? Also, bring the practice schedules planned for this week.”
You recall your phone call with Ms. Cooper as she unknowingly cockblocked you.
Why am I getting cockblocked so often these days? and I don’t even have one. But boy, that was something. That boy is something. Okay what just happened? I just made out with Jeon Jungkook. I mean, I wasn’t planning to. It just happened.
You start debating yourself.
I kinda understand what he said about me holding something back. But how did he get that out of me? How did I, for the first time, lose myself while dancing? It felt extraordinary. He is.. something.
HOLD THE FUCK UP.
You widen your eyes while walking to the staff quarters. The wind is blowing softly in the dark of the night and the weather is somewhat cold but pleasant.
Ah no way. I don’t like him. I am not catching feelings for him. Or anyone. I cannot risk myself getting hurt again. I cannot allow my soul getting shattered again. My own father broke everything I had inside me, how am I supposed to trust anyone after that? How am I supposed to bounce back after they destroy everything? I am not scared of feelings. I am scared of people leaving after I let them in. Will I ever be the same again after that person walks away leaving behind a mess named myself? No. I promised myself. That isn’t acceptable. I ain’t here to get my soul plastered with scars all over it. Every time, it takes a part of me. Every time he raised his voice, I lost a small piece of me. Every time he hit my mom, I lost something forever. Every time he threatened to hit me, every time my mom stood up for me, I lost a bit faith. The moment we left him to start a new life without that useless, excuse for a human, and toxic parasite, I decided, I will never EVER give someone the power to break me again. It took me years of self loathing, therapy, nights filled with panic attacks, and everlasting anxiety to understand the fact that I am the only constant I’ve ever had, and the only constant that is guaranteed to stay with me all through this life. No one has the right to destroy that constant. Nor am I giving that right to anyone.
Prompt for a Lena/Alex body swap from a few anons, @lurkz, @iamdeltas, and someone else here a while back (and apologies for only now getting to it…the queue is too damn long! But I made it nice and long to make up for the delay)
A/N: I’m putting the full text here, but I’d love it if you’d come let me know your thoughts (if you have them) in the comments too! It’s always fun getting to interact with you all there! Also, if you go there, you can catch my fun nerd notes which, let me tell you, they got historical today
“How was your day, babe?” Maggie called out to Alex over the sound of rice noodles sizzling in the wok for dinner.
“Good. Little tired, but it was actually a lot of fun.”
“You hung out with your people all day. Of course you had fun, Danvers.”
“What do you mean ‘my people’?” Alex asked, pulling two beers out of the fridge and helping to get the table set for dinner.
“You, Lena, and Winn? I mean nerds, duh,” Maggie answered with a laugh, clicking off the burner.
“Are you trying to imply that you, Maggie Sawyer, Science Division Detective and not-so-secret sci-fi connoisseur, are not a nerd?”
“Well that depends, are we talking a nerd when compared to the general population? Then yes. Compared to you three? Not a chance.”
Alex just rolled her eyes as she handed over the bowls for Maggie to fill. “Whatever, you’ll always be my nerdy girlfriend.”
“And sexy. Can’t forget that part.”
“Mm, you know I never forget that part.” Alex made a show of checking out Maggie and winked when she caught her gaze.
“Like I said: nerd. But anyway, did Lena get the headset things working?”
Warnings: attempted suicide, mentions of suicide, depression, self-harm, mentions of sex, mentions of blood, swearing
Prompt: ‘I kept bothering you with my personal problems and now look, your favourite shirt is covered in my blood and those stains will never come out.’
Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with these subjects! Also, I won’t write suicide/depression fics again, as I am not really comfortable with it.
Also, so sorry this took so long! After this, I am writing part 2 of Heartache, @tayrae515‘s request and doing @skymoonandstardust‘s 1K writing challenge! Then, I will reopen requests, and the first thing I will do is @1dindaplace‘s ship request! Once requests are reopened, I will limit them to 3, before I close them until I have everything written.
I am not going to lie, A) the way I characterised Goyle in this is shit, and B) the way I characterised Goyle in this made me cackle.
John was right. Somehow they managed to do it. A whole day, which turned into a week. A week of waiting for you to wake up, maybe it was two weeks. Honestly, Alex couldn’t tell anymore, nor did he care. He just wanted you to wake up. He barely slept anymore, which wasn’t a big change for him, but this time he wasn’t up doing work, just looking at you. Doctor after doctor had come in, all saying the same thing.
P.S This was requested by an anon. Girl I went so overboard with that, since there are a lot of scandals like that, g dragon with Nana, Zico with Seolhyun, Zico breaking up with Seolhyun because of the public. Making them look like criminals because they are being normal. Anyways, Enjoy!
JoonKyung was different than any man you’ve dated. First off, his lifestyle was like on the other side of the field, you honestly don’t understand how did you catch his eye. You were an english teacher in a private primary school, you were just a normal person. You still did not understand why he chose you? You were a nobody, while he was surrounded by models and idols, I mean he personally knows CL, what more could you say?
Joonkyung fell in love with how simple you were. You appreciated an expensive candle lit dinner, just as much as a drive thru at mcdonalds, you could dress up and go to the club with him, also you could sit at home and cook for him, you could rock a very dark make up, and you could also sit on the couch bare face, with a bun on your head and sweatpants. He liked that you were just a teacher, you liked kids and worked hard for the simple things.
Things were normal. You were carefull with sneaking around and meeting him, you knew that if people learned about you, they would freak out, you didn’t want any part of it, the spotlight scared you. So when you saw your name and face on the article, pictures of you on Joonkyung’s car, or walking out of mcdonalds holding hands you were mortified
“Dok2 dating a foreigner?
The famous rapper has been spotted with this lady a lot of times. They seem to hold hands and her riding passenger at his car.
Even thought we are not sure how long they’ve been dating, people guess is a year, give or take. If you look closely to his instagram, she is in plenty of group pictures, also she is on the quiett’s instagram page.
The couple seems very happy, sources say that the lady is a primary school english teacher. Which makes people wonder how did they meet and her motives for this relationship.
You can clearly see that she is not Korean or Asian in general. Sources say she is from America, but her parents immigrated there, although we don’t know the country.
What do you think of the knew couple?”
Your instagram started to blow out. People started following you and commenting on your pictures, you didn’t know if you should look, eventually curiosity took over you and you started to scroll through
‘She is so weird looking’
‘I think dok2 needs to learn the difference between curvy and fat’
‘Korean women are too hard to get, that’s why he chose her’
’ Look at her make-up, she needs to take it off and put on some clothes’
'I bet he bought her this outfit’
You threw your phone on the bed. Why were they so mad at you? You didn’t do anything but love someone.Was that a crime? You sat on your couch and turned on the tv, maybe that would distract you
'Now what do you guys think about this?’
'Dok2 is just messing around. I mean, look at this they are walking out of mcdonalds, I’m sure she ate everything there is in that bag. She clearly cannot cook since they are getting junk food, he will come to his senses’
You turned it off and threw away the remote, the sound of it crushing to the floor was heard all over the house. Your eyes started to water, making your vision blurry.
Why did they hate you? Why would they judge you like that? You never did anything to them, you never hurted anyone
Your phone distracted you. You walked back to your room to get it, Joonkyung was calling you
“Open the door”
He said and the line went dead. You took a deep breath and looked at yourself in the mirror, you rubbed your eyes so they want look watery. You slowly walked to the door opening it, Joonkyung immidiately wrapped his arms around you
“Are you ok?”
You didn’t answer. He let you go and took your face in his hands, examinating you
“Have you been crying?”
You almost did, but he came by. He closed the door of your apartment and dragged you to your couch
“I’m so sorry about this. I didn’t know about it, I’ll make sure they will take the articles down”
“It won’t make a difference. They will post others, they will still leave comments on my instagram, they will still think like that, nothing can be changed”
He didn’t like the way you talked. It was so cold and sad, you looked depressed, he took your hands in his, attempting to calm you down
“They were right though. I am not what you deserve, I’m just a stupid chubby teacher,I even let you pay my phone bill. How stupid and pathetic can that be?”
By the time you were done, your tears escaped your eyes and runned down your face. You bit your lower lip as sobs took over your body, closing your eyes tightly and hair falling to your face. He wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry it out
“Don’t talk like that. You didn’t let me pay for your phone bill, I did it behind your back, cause you spended all of your money to my birthday present, and after you learned about it you didn’t talk to me for a week. You are not chubby, you’ve been working out every day, you look better than ever, even if you were chubby I would still think you were perfect. Baby you are teaching at primary school, I barely got throught it and then dropped out. You came to this different country and managed to survive and leave a nice life, how is that stupid? and we all know you can cook, I mean dong-gab and zino cannot stop talking about your cooking. I love you for every little thing they are mad about”
He kissed your hair, rubbing your back which made you relax in his arms. By the time he was finished, you had stopped crying and just listened to what he had to say. You raised your head and wiped away the tears, smudging your mascara
“You mean it?”
“Of course I mean it. Give me a kiss”
You pecked his lips. He wrapped his arms around you, placing you on his lap, you wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck
“I love you. Don’t worry about these stupid jealous people, we got way bigger fish to fry”
You nodded and gave him another kiss on the lips. He smiled at you, feeling a bit better since he got you to stop crying
He decided to spend the whole day with you. As you layed next to him, you checked your instagram, you got a notification that he had tagged you in a picture. It was a picture of you with your head on his lap, watching tv
“All we did was love eachother, that is definetely not a crime. So stop talking about us like we are criminals and get a life”
You smiled and put your phone away. You hugged him tightly, as you heard the beating of his heart
Request:“Could you please write an imagine for Bucky Barnes? Both you and Bucky were assists to Hydra. When he left you went with him to stay in Bucharest. After the events in Civil War you stay in Wakanda while Bucky remains in cryo. You visit him everyday and talk to him, eventually confessing you care for him. When he is unfrozen he tells you he dreamt you were talking to him. The reader slightly embarrassed tells him she was with him everyday talking to him and maybe confesses again their feelings.” - @shortoneofabakersdozen
Bucky tightly wrapped the bandage around your arm. You winched in pain as he tried to stop the blood.
“Does Hyrda try to kill all their assets?” You joke, trying to lighten the mood.
“We are a liability now” He answered, finishing up the bandages.
It drives you insane of how
possessive he is sometimes. My
God, does Mister J get jealous or what?! And the crazy things he does…One of
these days he’s gonna hurt you really, really bad. Well, let him try!
You’ve been fighting for half an hour
now. J got really mad because his now former business partner eyeballed you all
night long. Dexter noticed you when you were out in the club dancing for the
Clown Prince of Crime himself and made a small comment on how he would love to
have a woman like you in his bed every night. That was definitely the wrong
thing to say to the Joker; something snapped inside of him (again) and later
that night Frost was dumping his body in an unmarked grave a few miles outside
“And how is that my fault ,J? How?! “
you say, annoyed, passing your fingers through your hair and actually yanking
it in frustration.
“Did you ever encourage him?” he
snarls at you, staring you down, panting, his chest going up and down so fast
it starts to worry you. He’s pissed.
“No, of course not!” you defend
yourself, even if it doesn’t matter at this point.
“I sent you to deal with him before,
did anything happen?” His eyes burn through you; it certainly feels like one of
his intimidating interrogations.
“Are you serious?! You know there’s
only you. “
“Yeeesss, only meee,” he mocks,
grinning that fake smile he puts on when he can’t control his emotions.
“Are you suggesting otherwise?” You
lift your eyebrows, offended.
He doesn’t answer; he turns his back
on you and takes a deep breath. You know what that means: the Joker is trying
to calm his demons down before he does something he might regret. This is your
chance and you are taking advantage of it. You approach and hug him from
behind, starting to plant kisses all over his back. He feels your lips through
the silky fabric of his purple shirt and your hands squeezing him tight, too
proud and crazed by jealousy to respond in any way.
You sigh, resting your forehead on
his shoulder, and move your hands down to his crotch.
“Wanna have angry sex?”
“Why not? I’ll let you do whatever
“NO, I’m too mad!” You can’t see his
face, but his biting on his lip so hard it’s almost bleeding-he so wants to
take you up on the offer, but he’s stubborn as hell.
“That’s the point, babe…Well, OK,
then,” you move your hands up to his chest again, feeling his skin from under the
unbuttoned shirt. “Who do you take after with this temper of yours? Mom or
J growls and digs his fingers in your
arms so deep you instantly start feeling the numbness.
“Auuuuch, fine, fine, let go, let go…”
He lets go after a few more seconds,
because he wanted to make sure you’ll get the message. The Joker is very
happy with himself and you don’t care too much because your little strategy
worked: at least he’s upset about something else for the moment. Jesus, he sure
can act like an entitled five year old brat.
You rub your skin, walking away
towards the master bedroom. He’s still with his back turned, looking out the
“I’m going to get my new tattoo now;
I’m taking Richard with me,” you tell him, hoping he’ll talk.
“What are you getting done?” He finally turns towards you, his voice raspy
and still frowning. There you are.
“I was thinking to get this tattooed
on my forehead: NOT the Property of Joker.”
“Don’t you dare, doll !” he
You enter the bedroom to change your
shoes and outfit, smiling to yourself and text Richard:
“Ditch your Panda costume and wear
something nice, you’re taking me for a ride in my red Lexus. I’ll meet you
downstairs in 15 minutes.”
After you change, you go back in the
living room to find the Joker standing in the same spot, scratching his head
with his gun. He always does that when something troubles him.
“Would you stop doing that? You’ll
blow your brains out one of these days.”
“So?” he mutters, absent minded.
“I’ll be bored without you. Plus,
you’re pretty decent in bed.”
You duck the gunshot in time, hiding
behind the couch.
“Decent?!” J sarcastically snickers.
He shots again.
“Stop it, you know I hate it when we
have to fix the walls every time you do this!”
“Then take it back.”
Another bullet shrieks over your
“Opps, I missed.”
“Truce! Truce!” you plead, feeling
sorry for the poor penthouse you love so much.
“Not until you take it back.”
“Fine, I take it back.”
“And you’re the best lover ever…”
”Hmmm, that’s better…” you hear his
voice getting closer to your hiding place.
“…in a very average way,” you
continue, making a run for the elevator. You hear him stomp behind you and the
elevator’s doors close right before he can get in.
“Get your ass back here!!” he screams
but there’s no way you’ll do that. You feel you got a bit of revenge and you
don’t care if you pay for it later.
You’ve been talking to the henchmen in the
lobby for the last 10 minutes, waiting for Richard. He’s so slow all the time.
At least you are catching up with them. You are quite fond of the boys and they
like you because you saved their lives a lot of times from Mister J’s blind
fury. You don’t mind if someone deserves it, but if there’s no reason to his
rampage besides his vexation, then you always intervene.
Richard finally comes to get you and now
you are on your way to the Tattoo parlor. You both laugh and have a good time,
remembering past stories and insane things that happened in the last year.
“Do you remember when Mark got
stabbed at the bank? He never pays attention, J got so mad he almost killed him
afterwards,” you giggle, playfully punching Richard’s shoulder.
“Oh my God, yes, that was a trip. You
know, he always talks about how you stood up to Mister J for him, he thought he
will die that night.”
“Mehhh, it’s nothing, I like living on
the edge,” you wink and both start laughing again.
“You were so nice to …” Richard
confesses and you interrupt:
“Dude, if you call me nice again, I’ll blow your brains out
myself!!!… Oh, your song is on!” you excitedly squeal and turn up the volume.
Desiigner’s “Panda” is blasting in
the speakers and you two start singing the lyrics. Not being around J for a
while is working its magic.
“Glad you two are having sum’ fun,”
the Joker’s voice suddenly comes from the back sit and you hear the gun click.
My God, he was hiding there?!
Richard freezes, instantly thinking
he’s living on borrowed time. You don’t even jump because you’re used to scares
from watching horror movies all the time. Plus, you have some serious training
from being his girl.
“Pull over!!” the Joker commands, his
gun to the henchman’s temple. “Are you flirting with my Princess, hmmm?” his
silver teeth are grinding in annoyance and you see his jaw clenching. That’s
“N-no sir, not at all.”
“Fucking liar…you want her?”
“W-what? No boss, I didn’t even
think…” he stammers, knowing he can’t win.
“Why don’t you want her? Not good
enough for you? She’s God damn beautiful, are you blind?!”
This is one of those moments when you
have to step in because J is gone beyond the point of reasoning again.
“Apologize for offending her. NOW!”
The gun digs in Richard’s skull harder.
“Ummm…I’m sorry, Y/N,” he addresses
you, flustered, pulling over. You roll your eyes and slowly take J’s arm,
pointing it towards you head.
“Would you stop it? What are you
You look into each other’s eyes for a
few seconds, not even blinking. It seems like an eternity to Richard. The Joker
finally lowers his gun and snarls:
“Out of the car, Panda, I’ll deal with you later.”
He’s been driving for the last 20
minutes and you’ve been fighting of course. He keeps on pushing and shoving you
in your sit and you are getting mad too.
“You touched him, I saw it!”
“Wha’?” you look puzzled. “When?”
“You touched his shoulder, I saw it!”
and J shoves you again.
“For God’s sake, I didn’t even
realize it. And stop pushing me!!!!” you shout, wanting to really hit him back right
“Shut up or I’m gonna kill you!!”
“Do it!!! Why don’t you do it instead
of talking about it? DO IT !!!!”
His punch comes out of nowhere and
it’s so strong that you hit your head against the window and you feel your eyes
going in the back of your head.
“Shit! I didn’t mean to,” it’s the last thing you hear
him say before you faint.
You wake up tight up to the chair with a massive headache. After adjusting your
blurry vision, it looks like you are inside one of your warehouses. You try to move and whimper in pain. Your arms
hurt and you look down to see why: a bunch of bloody scrapes all over your forearms.
Did he… did he just scratch you all over?!
You feel his lips kissing your neck
“Awww, you’re awake, Pumpkin? How are
You grunt, swallowing with
difficulty, giving the Joker an evil glare as he comes in front of you.
“What exactly are you doing, J?” you
squint your eyes, trying to free your hands.
“I told you I’m gonna kill ya’, didn’t I?” he smirks, licking his
lips. “Do you like my tattoos? I tried to improvise since you didn’t make it to
the parlor. Sorry, no ink, just have my knife with me.”
You kick him in the shin, and he
grunts, still awkwardly smiling.
“That hurt, Princess. Should you
really be doing this?” he pulls your hair to the side and you bite his hand.
“Ahhh, you’re sooo feisty! That’s why I like you,” he forcefully kisses you and you
struggle to escape.
“Untie me, J, what got into you?!” you
plead, very confused at the whole thing.
He doesn’t answer and goes behind you
again. You turn your head to see what he’s doing and you see him grabbing
scissors from the desk. He comes back in front of you.
“I always liked your… long…bright…
red… hair… honey,” the Joker pauses after
each word, gathering your locks in a ponytail,” but you don’t need it when
you’re dead, I’ll keep it as a souvenir.”
“Are you…J, don’t touch my hair!
Don’t you dare!!!!!!!!!!!!”
You feel the scissors cutting and
your hair is now just above your shoulders. You gasp in disbelief.
He holds your ponytail in his hand,
satisfied, but his huge grin disappears when he takes another glance at your
enraged face. You’re so mad you can’t utter a word.
“Dammit, you look even cuter with
shorter hair!” he kicks you chair, annoyed, “Hold on, I have to regroup!” and
he storms out of the room, locking the door behind.
Regroup?! WTF? Has he finally completely lost it? Is he really going to
kill you? He probably wouldn’t dare, he would be screwed without you…but,
something is very wrong, that’s for sure. He never acted like this before. You
have to admit: at least it’s not a boring day. And at a slight first
examination of your current situation, you realize it
makes you irritated. Why did two messed up people like you had to get together?
Your thoughts are interrupted by Frost
marching inside, quickly coming to you and trying to release you.
“I’ll just tell him you escaped,
punch me really hard before you leave,” he pants, pulling on the ropes.
“Stop, stop, Frosty,” you finally
say, smiling. “You would really do this for me?” He looks at you, a bit
“Yes, I would…I am, so go before he comes back!”
“Jonny, he would know you helped, and
he would kill you. Just leave, I’ll deal with him.”
“Are you sure? You seem…like you
could use some help.” Oh, yes, probably some bruises, the dry blood, the
scrapes and short hair. Is it noticeable?!!!!
“I’m sure, go!”
He heads out and you make sure to let
“I won’t forget this.”
Frost nods his head and leaves.
You’ve been there for a couple hours and felt
asleep, exhausted with all the unpredictable events you had to put up since
this morning. The Joker brutally yanking at your dress wakes you up. He grumbles,
frustrated, and cuts your ropes, then back to ripping your dress.
“I hate this dress,” he mutters while
you struggle to push him away and make a run for it. You slap his hands and
kick him with all you’ve got, trying to run past him when he trips you and you
fall on the floor, immediately feeling his weight on top of you.
“Let me go, baby, stop it!!! What are
you doing?” you ask, as he tries to pin your hands with one of his, using the
other to rip another piece of fabric from your dress.
“Baby, baby, baby…” he imitates you,
amused, blowing his now messy green hair from his face. “Stay still!”
“No!” you squirm under him,
determined to fight with all you’ve got.
“Fine, wear this rag if it pleases
you.” He suddenly stops his attack and digs in his pocket. Oh, hell, no! No more knife tattoos! you think, instinctively
looking around the floor for something to smash his head with if he tries to
cut you again.
The Joker forcefully grabs your left
hand and you get ready to slap him with your free one when you realize he just
put something on your ring finger.
“There!… Jeez, you really made me
work for it, I’m tired,” he sighs, collapsing on you. You both pant and you don’t know what your next move should be. You bring your fingers close to your face and there
it is: the biggest diamond ring you’ve ever seen, and you’ve seen a lot since
you love stealing them all the time.
“J, what is this?”
“A ring, Y/N!” he breaths in your
ear, lifting his head a bit. “Just say yes Princess, I’ve been through
a lot today.”
“You…you’ve been through a lot??!!”
you snap, wanting to strangle him on the spot.“Was all of this your plan to get
my attention?!!? Just to give me the ring?!!”
He inhales, exasperated. “I had to do
something special to prove I love you to death,” he sighs again, pressing your
lips against yours, proud he got his point across. You break the kiss
“Is this your idea of a romantic
proposal, you jerk?!!! You’ve punched me, “tattooed”
my arms, cut my hair, and freaked me out thinking you’re gonna kill me…”
“Well, yeah,” the Joker stops your
rant. “I knew you’d love it.”
You open your mouth in amazement.
“You’re a fucking lunatic, J !” you
yell and the frown on your face makes his heart stop. He really thought this
would be the coolest thing ever.
“Oh my God,” he buries his face in
your neck and you feel him getting really tense. “Baby doll, did I fuck up?”
“Get off me! I’m out of here!”
“No, no, no,” he protests, kissing
your neck again, still pinning you to the floor with his weight. “Don’t leave…” He suddenly
looks at you again and you see his blue eyes checking you with concern.
OMG, he’s playing his I can’t live without you card.
“So, you’re not impressed…at all?” he
whispers, now fully aware and scared he screwed up big time.
“Well, I kind of am,” you admit,“but not in the way you think and I’m pissed; you’ll have to make it up to me.”
“Anything, baby doll” he blurs out so
fast before you finish your sentence. “I’ll let you do whatever you want,”
he winks at you, relieved.
“I thought you’ll never offer,” you
smirk with a devilish spark in your eyes. “First thing first :when was the last time you got a tattoo?”
Requested by the lovely
Can you do joker x reader one where reader is an ordinary girl somehow ended up being kidnapped by joker. He tortured her until she tried to commit suicide one day. Joker found her unconscious in the bathroom and he started to realize he has feelings for her (she has feelings for him to) and realized what he had done so he cure her until she woke up and he apologize or something?” and anon that wanted jealous Joker. I combined the two and changed up things a bit to fit better. I hope you liked it.
Should I continue this fic? (some clarifying notes at the end)
1,2k words, eventual otayuri, established victuuri (not mentioned in this bit but it’s in the story), modern mythology AU setting, this beginning bit is rated T (cursing; mentioned character death in one sentence).
Otabek hears the whistling immediately as it starts,
but he takes his sweet time to appear.
When he emerges from the undergrowth below the
mountain he stops just behind the trees that are closest to the car. From his hiding
spot he studies the silver-haired man who is leaning onto the Volvo and typing
something into his phone. The shiny, brand-new Volvo and the man’s gray suit look
like they belong in a high-end city environment, not on a dirt road deep in the
“I can smell you,” comes the sing-song call from
beside the car, and Otabek huffs, stepping forward so he’s not hidden by the
“I am not a dog, Victor,” Otabek informs him. “You
want to call me, you can use my name.”
“But then again, you can call a dog by its name, too,
and it comes.” Victor’s smile is amused as he lowers the phone and looks up.
Otabek lets out a sound that’s almost a growl.
Victor’s smile spreads wider. “Calm down,” he says
condescendingly, and if the scent of the groundroot wasn’t so thick around him,
Otabek would rip his head off. Victor was annoying before, but he has become
downright unbearable ever since he got the groundroot.
Victor smiles soothingly. “Otabek. It’s good to see
“What do you want?” Otabek asks, standing close to the
tree trunk, ready to bolt if needed.
“Straight to business, as usual,” Victor sighs and
pockets his phone. “Well, then. Do you know anything about the recent events in
Otabek once lived in the city, but he hasn’t been
there in years. He shakes his head cautiously.
“It’s getting pretty bad. Someone is targeting you
guys.” Victor’s voice is serious.
Oh. This he
knows. It’s one of the reasons he chose to disappear into the mountains. He
knew it wasn’t safe for him to stay.
Victor clears his throat. “It’s been a problem before,
as I’m sure you know. But it’s getting worse. Three were found dead in the last
Otabek blinks, and suddenly there is a strangling
feeling in his throat. Why would Victor be telling him this, if it wasn’t for—
“JJ?” Otabek asks in a faint voice.
“No, your friend is fine,” Victor says. “We got to him
before they did. He’s in a safe place.”
Otabek exhales and looks down as relief washes over
him. Then he fixes his gaze on Victor. “Well, you can give the Agency my thanks
for saving JJ, but if you’re here to ask me to fight the bad guys alongside
you, you can forget about it.”
Victor snorts. “Yes, you made it quite clear that
one time I did ask you.”
Otabek has nothing against the idea of fighting for
those who aren’t in a position to fight for themselves. What he is opposed to are the Agency’s methods
of protection, and hence fighting on their payroll is not an option. If he
agrees to fight with them, he checks the agree
box on their terms and conditions, and Otabek is too aware of what it says in
their terms and conditions to even go near that check box.
“But,” Victor says with some hesitation, “the Agency
would like your help. Unofficially.”
Otabek gives him a steady stare and says nothing.
“Please, Otabek. We are swamped with these recent
incidents,” Victor tries, sensing the resistance. “Plus, you wouldn’t be
working within the Agency. You don’t have to follow our rules.”
“I don’t want anything to do with the Agency,” Otabek
says in a low tone. He knows Victor can hear his words, quiet as they are.
“But you do want to help your people, right?” Victor
strikes right into the spot where he knows Otabek is vulnerable. Because of course he wants to help.
“What kind of a fucking question is that?” Otabek
grumbles instead of giving a direct answer.
Victor smiles. He clearly knows he’s got Otabek.
“Thank you,” he says empathetically. He picks up a nondescript brown paper
folder from the hood of the car and takes a step closer to Otabek.
Otabek stands alert as Victor walks over, his designer
shoes sinking into the soft mossy ground on each step. Otabek is ready to bolt
at any second, but he stands absolutely still as Victor hands the folder in his
“I didn’t say I’d help you,” Otabek says, but he takes
the offered item nonetheless.
“You’re not helping me,” Victor replies evenly.
“You’re helping him. Even though he
doesn’t know he needs your help.”
Otabek flips the folder open. Inside, there is a
typical case file for someone, with a picture attached at the top of the sheet
with a paper clip. Otabek sneers. “Another one from your archive?”
Victor looks like he wants to launch into one of his
speeches about the archive, but instead he just nods at the folder, urging
Otabek to read the file.
Otabek skims over the text, but it’s the photo at the
top that really catches his attention. It looks like it’s taken from a
distance, so the features are a bit blurry, but he can make out the oval face
framed by blond hair, and what is clearly a pair of very light-colored eyes.
Otabek looks up. “Why did you come to find me? With that hair and those eyes,
there’s no way he belongs to the mountain.”
Victor sighs. “He doesn’t. He belongs to the forest.”
“Then why—?” It suddenly clicks and Otabek cuts
himself off. Victor said there were three dead in the last month alone. “They
It’s not a question, but Victor nods nonetheless.
For a moment it’s silent, only the soothing hum of the
pine forest surrounding them. Otabek swallows and his eyes slide down to the
folder he’s holding in his hands. There isn’t a lot of information in it.
“You said he doesn’t know he needs my help,” Otabek
“He doesn’t know what he is,” Victor replies. “Found
in the forest as a toddler, been in a series of foster homes ever since.
Something always… happens, and he
gets returned to the system.”
Otabek looks up from the folder to glare at Victor.
“So you guys archive him and keep an
eye on him but no one ever cared enough to actually help him?”
This is why the Agency can go suck a bag of dicks in
Otabek’s opinion. They want to keep tabs on all non-humans, but they don’t want
to interfere. Not even when someone’s
life sucks balls because they don’t know why they keep causing weird things to
happen in their environment.
As if hearing the unspoken accusations, Victor frowns.
“He was flying under the radar for quite a long time, we didn’t know. We would have sent for Celestino,
but…” he trails off. “And now he’s vanished from foster care and no one knows
where he is or if he’s even alive anymore.”
“So that’s where I step in.” Otabek swallows and looks
down at the picture of the skogsrå*
who doesn’t know he’s a skogsrå.
He reads the name again from the first line of the
Somehow, Otabek needs to find Yuri Plisetsky before they do, and then teach him how to
control his powers before it’s too late.
So, should I continue this or scrap it? Like/comment/reblog if you’d want more. I only post beginnings of fics that have complete storylines and characters and everything all planned out, so with this I’m just trying to determine if I should bother writing it out… I’m doing this because I have so many completed ideas and I don’t have the time and energy to write them all, so I’m seeing which stories resonate with people.
*skogsrå (Swedish) = a warden of the forest, a kind of a forest spirit or demigod in Scandinavian mythology. The rå in folklore are often wardens of a particular landform or location (mountain, lake, forest etc).
This fic idea is inspired by a Swedish series called Jordskott, and I’ve borrowed some of the mythology elements from the series (and added some that are not in the series), but this fic’s plot has nothing to do with the plot of the series.
Amara’s head was heavy as she tried to move it, her eyes still shut and her ears ringing loudly. She groaned feeling a sharp pain at the back of her head that hadn’t been there before.
She tried sitting up, her hand slowly rising to her head. Her body felt heavy as she moved almost fully in a sitting position when a pair of hands pressed her gently back down. She was laying on something soft, a bed? When had she gone to bed?
She started hearing mumbling through the ringing in her ears that she wished would just go away. Her mouth felt dry, and she was parched. She needed water.
Amara took a deep breath, her head gently bobbing from side to side as she frowned trying to open up her eyes.
“Take it easy Amara.” A voice called, difficult to hear through the never ending ringing. Damn her body, why couldn’t she just move?
“Where am I?” She asked, her voice coming out no louder than a whisper. Her voice was hoarse and her throat burned when she spoke.
“You’re at home.”
Feyre, that was feyre talking. She sighed, knowing she was at least somewhere safe and Feyre was okay. But what had happened? Why did she feel so awful?
“What happened?” She questioned, forcing her eyes to flutter open but they felt like heavy lids when she tried opening them. They didn’t open more then a squint and her vision was blurry, adjusting to faelight in the room.
Her eyes slowly focused of Feyre’s face as she sat at the edge of the bed beside her. The faelight illuminated the room, and the sun had gone down. How long had she been asleep? Cauldron what was going on?
“You hit your head. You’ve been resting, we were all so worried about you.” Feyre said gently, holding her hand that stayed at her side.
Amara tried to remember the events before she had passed out. She remembered the fire in Velaris, the city that had started to burn. She remembered fighting creatures she had never seen before. Ones native to the Spring Court that shouldn’t have been there.
As she looked around the room she watched Rhys enter through the bedroom door, sighing when he saw she was awake. “Oh thank the Cauldron you’re awake.” He said in relief, walking over to Feyre’s side and looked down at her. There was a shadow over him, that he so delicately tried to hide from her.
“Even the High Lord is worrying after me.” She chuckled softly and started up a couching fit. Feyre quickly picked up a glass of water and helped lift up her head, tilting the water cup for her to sip from.
Amara sipped on the water, trying to remember what had happened and she remembered Azriel. He had showed up onto the field. Was he all right? She finished with the water, pushing away Feyre’s hand and pushed herself to sit up and groaned. She reached a hand to the back of her head that had been bandaged up.
“Where’s Azriel?” She asked innocently, looking over at her two friends who shared a sad glance with each other.
Amara frowned, lowering her hand from her head. “Feyre, where is he? Is he okay?” She asked, holding herself up with her hands that had been placed palm down onto the bed. She was barely staying upright with the pain and booming headache she received from the movement.
Feyre sighed as Rhys looked down at his mate. Feyre gripped her hand giving her a soft smile. Her smile did not reach her eyes and she didn’t understand. Had something happened to Azriel? Her heart started pounding at the thought of Azriel being injured.
“Take me to him.” She demanded, Feyre opening her mouth to speak but she cut her off. “Now Feyre.“
She had to see him, she couldn’t wait. She didn’t care if her body felt too heavy to move and her head felt like a boulder had been smashed against it. She had to see Azriel for herself and know if he was okay or not.
Feyre gently nodded, helping her climb out of bed. Amara tried not to use her for support as she stood up and started walking towards the door. She winced at the headache but kept moving, opening the door and walking out into the hallway.
"He’s in the guest room. Let me take you there.” Feyre said so softly it could have been a whisper. She caught up with her in the hallway, Rhys staying behind in the bedroom with his hands in his pockets. Why were they acting so weird?
She gripped Feyre’s hand as she pulled her towards the guest room, her heart beating faster as they approached the room. She heard mumbling coming inside, voice kept low and quiet.
Feyre opened the door leading to a very large guest room that had its own living room with couches and chairs. She saw Mor and Cassian, sitting on the couch clad in their armor still. They had blood coating their skin in places and they looked as though they had just gotten off the battlefield.
“Where is he?” She breathed out, her heart beating so fast she could barely speak or catch her breath.
Mor looked over at her, knowing who she was speaking of and pointed towards the open bedroom door.
Amara didn’t wait for Feyre as she released her hand and bolted, as fast as she could carry herself, towards the bedroom door and paused in the doorway.
Her eyes hit him and she remembered everything.
How Azriel had slammed down into the earth so hard it shuddered under her. How his shield went up around her, to keep her safe. How she cut down monsters quicker so she could get to him faster. The burning fear that he wouldn’t be safe in the midst of all those men. The relief when Cassian and Rhys appeared to help him.
She remembered the sadness he had in those eyes when she finally looked at him, with the love and fear in her eyes over him. How she bolted through piles of dead bodies, slashing down soldiers that got in her way as she ran to him. The tears that started welling up into her eyes when he said words she couldn’t hear in that moment. The last words he said to her before a light shrouded him from view and threw her to the ground.
And the mating bond that snapped into place just moments before she blacked out.
A hand went straight to her mouth and she gripped the doorframe as she looked at him. His body, syphons cracked and armor removed. His body that laid covered in bandages and blood that could very well have been his own, dried on his skin.
She let out a sob, crumbling to her knees in the doorway of the bedroom as she never once took her eyes off of him.
He was her mate, he had been her mate every since the first moment she had met him and she hadn’t known. She hadn’t told him how she felt before everything went to shit and they had all gotten injured. She had wasted that time together, but she wouldn’t waste any more.
Her mate was alive, and she would spend every moment, every damn second letting him know just how much she cared.
Azriel looked down at her from where he sat on the bed, gripping one of the four posts to pull himself up off the bed. He watched her crumble, sobbing at the sight of him. She was crying, over him.
Amara pulled herself back up onto her feet and her eyes met his and she tugged on that bond. She watched his lip wobble slightly and she did it again. She accepted the bond, she accepted every damn inch of him and the tie between them.
She charged over to him and punched him in the chest, hard. But that didn’t do anything against him. Her body was still mostly limp from her deep black out and he had always been hard muscle.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She sobbed, looking up at him with her glazed eyes as tears welled up and blurred her vision.
She punched his chest again. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner you idiot?” She pressed both of her fists against his chest, sobbing as she looked down at his feet, her tears falling down onto the ground. “You bastard. You stupid, stupid bastard.”
She sobbed and Azriel looked down at her, letting her slam her fists down onto his chest as many times as she wanted.
“I’m sorry.” he mumbled, his voice low. “I don’t deserve you,” He said even softer, hanging his head low.
Amara looked up at him, cupping his cheeks into her hands when she had enough of slamming them into his chest. She made sure his eyes looked at hers. “Don’t you ever say that.” She tugged on that bond again which sent his lip wobbling.
They both wrapped their arms around each other, burying their faces into the others necks and held each other so tightly, afraid they would both disappear if they let go.
Azriel had never felt so much love from someone in his life. He had never felt so accepted as he did when she tugged on the other side of the bond. When she whispered down towards the bond that she accepted him. That he deserved their mating bond and her heart more than anyone else in the world.
Azriel felt his eyes sting, for the first time in a long while. He quietly cried into her neck, as she cried into his.
“I thought I lost you,” She whispered into his skin sending shivers down his spine. He had craved this embrace for so long, and he had craved her love for so much longer. Long before he had even met her. He had always known, deep down, known that she was his mate and he would love her like he had loved nothing else. Craved her love and that bond that would stay between them for centuries.
“You could never lose me.” He said softly, his arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer towards him, into his chest. He didn’t care if he had injuries from the explosion. He didn’t care if holding her made his body ache, he didn’t want to let go.
Amara pulled away from his neck, gently moving her shoulder away from his face. She looked up at him, brushing her fingers against his cheeks to rid them of the wet tears sliding from his eyes.
In that moment she did not remember where they were or who was around them. All she knew was that she was standing in her mate’s arms and she never wanted to live without him ever again. She cupped his cheeks and they both knew what the other was doing, when they moved leaned towards each other and crashed their lips together.
It wasn’t gentle or slow kiss. No, it was a kiss of desperation. Desperate to hold the other. Desperate to know they were both okay and this was not all a dream. The want to kiss and hold the other so tightly they might never have to let go.
Amara’s arms wrapped tightly around his neck as she moved up onto her tiptoes as they kissed. She had craved the feeling of his lips, and after everything that had happened she wouldn’t wait any longer. She would not waste their time together, whether it be on borrowed time or time to share for millennia. She would spend every moment thoughtfully, and never let another bit of time pass keeping things to herself.
Tears still slipped down both of their cheeks, crushing themselves against each other.
Amara felt Azriel shaking under her arms as she kissed him and gently tugged on their bond more and he did the same.
After an unknown amount of time, they pulled away from each other. Amara’s lips were red and swollen and the sight made Azriel smile. He brushed his thumb over her bottom lip gently, pulling her to sit down on the bed with him.
He kept an arm around her waist at all times, keeping her close to his side or his chest as he held her. “When did you know?” He asked looking down at her. He hadn’t seen her since the dinner and did not know how long she knew.
“Right after I watched the explosion. That’s when I knew, when I thought I had lost you for good.” She said looking down at his hand that she had in her lap. “When did you know?”
“From the first night I truly looked at you.” He said softly, remembering when he first felt the bond snap into place for him. When he had gazed into her eyes for the first time and knew exactly who she was.
Amara nodded, running her fingers over the palm of his hand. They hadn’t noticed the audience they had acquired at the doorway until someone cleared their throat.
They both jumped, Azriel also having not noticed or even sensed the four crowded people at the doorway. He was so sloppy around Amara, he didn’t notice anything other than her.
“Sorry to interrupt this beautiful display, but we really need to talk.” Rhys said with a smirk, leading everyone back into the small living room.
Amara blushed, sitting up from the bed and Azriel joined her. She started for the door when Azriel’s hand swiftly slipped into hers as they walked out of the room together.
They sat down onto a couch of their own, Mor and Cassian sitting on one across from them. Feyre sat in a seat and Rhys stood behind her. The smirk on his face had been replaced by stone, his gaze turning serious.
“Azriel, what was going on down there? What was that light?” He asked the man beside her who had gone quiet again.
“Those weren’t Hybern men like we first thought. Hybern barely has any men left, and from my scouting they wouldn’t have the resources to charge us like that. Those were men from either another court, or the continent.”
“But they didn’t have any specific court colors on them? Nor were there any High Lords present.” Mor said, leaning back into the couch.
“There were creatures, down in Velaris. Deep into the city starting the fires and driving people from their homes. They were creatures native to Spring Court.”
Rhys’s eyes narrowed and his grip on the back of Feyre’s chair tightened. His nails almost digging into the fabric.
Azriel looked down at his lap, thinking and sighed. “Those men did seem familiar. Definitely not of Hyberns’ caliber or the Continents, no they would have sent a much bigger army if it was the Queens.”
“I think it’s time we have a meeting with our old pale Tamlin.” Cassian said with a frown, leaning his elbows onto his knees.
Rhys growled and stood up from where he had been leaning on the chair, walking around the room. His temper had been started. “We should have been looking towards him, not Hybern. We were looking in all the wrong places and we were just sitting right open.” He sighed and Feyre stood going over to calm her mate.
“Tamlin is an ass, who knows no boundaries. I don’t know what caused this sudden outrage from him but we’ll figure it out."
Amara frowned, looking back over her memories trying to think of what else might signify who had attacked them. The monsters were an obvious set off towards Spring, but how had they gotten there? Tamlin still had barely regained most of his court and they wouldn’t have been able to winnow all those people in.
‘What did the men look like?’ She asked down the mating bond, azriel squeezing her hand gently. ‘I’ll show you.’ He said and sent her a memory. The many faces of soldiers he cut down. Their armor and their weapons. She had never seen any of it before and it didn’t make any sense.
"For now let’s all get some rest and wash up. It’s been a long day and we all need a nights sleep. The city is safe.” Feyre said and everyone grumbled an agreement.
Rhys and Feyre were the first to leave, going back to their room. Mor and Cassian discussed in the living room for a while.
'Let’s go into the bedroom.’ Azriel said, gracefully helping her stand and moving them into the bedroom and locking the door behind them.
Amara sighed, her hand gently touching the back of her head with the bandage of it and she winced. It still hurt, especially after walking around so much and crying like she did.
Azriel walked over to her, kissing her cheek gently. “We could both use a long, warm bath and then some sleep.” He said, his voice low and soothing. “Would you like to sleep in here for the night?” He asked and she nodded, not wanting to sleep alone in an empty room any longer. She wanted to be with her mate, for now and always.
Azriel couldn’t help but smile softly, “Wait here while I start the water.” He said and walked into their now shared bathroom, starting them a warm bath. Amara looked around the room, smiling faintly as she sat down and watched him through the doorway.
She was happy, finally so extremely happy. She had found her mate and did not plan on leaving him.
i know it’s long but i promise it’s worth the read <3
“someone once told me, your poem doesn’t start until you start telling the truth. so i call this my first poem”.
let me tell you what i learnt about people. no, not people in general, but the hard ones. i don’t mean complicated or troubled, but hard as in tough, in all the wrong places.
when they flash you with a smile like the sun that creeps through your window when you just wake up, you know you should look away because it hurts your eyes, but you look anyways. it shines, in all the rooms in your body that are lacking light.
so when they see you smiling back, they will string a constellation of pretty words along your spine, making you feel like they are the reason you are standing so bright,
and when you put a welcome sign in front of your heart,
that’s when they jaywalk through your chest
even though they have no intentions of staying
yet they will stay long enough for you to hand over your heart, like a piece of gold you’ve been treasuring your whole life,
and carelessly they take it because you are the type of gold they need to experience having-
so even though they know they will hurt you, they place you between their dirty fingers and
tell you something along the lines: “I’ve never felt so rich, like i have everything right here”.
and you want to say
“baby, you have everything, everything i am, right there, in that palm, please be careful”
but instead you kiss them and they kiss you back
and their hands start wandering the map of your body and all you could think of is
travelling never felt so cheap
but you let them,
And their mouth starts eating you up like you are every craving needed to satisfy their taste buds
and you let them,
because this is how you make a man happy. this is how you make a man love you.
and that’s when everything changes.
when they feel every edge that you handed over, when they touch every inch you offered humbly, when they get a good look at everything, your skin and bones and pulse and dust, when they realize how much this is,
how much of an earthquake and storm and tragedy you are,
it shakes them with the realization that the sun sets, and the shine isn’t permanent;
that’s when everything changes.
that is when the pretty words start unraveling like the peal of a tangerine and the void of what they have to offer you back
hits your spine so hard you become one with the pavement and you wonder if you could ever get back up.
and when you realize they have no strength to help you back on your feet, when the fight and courage you thought they had isn’t there, they will leave you after saying something like “i can’t make you happy” and “you will find better than me”.
you will lie there, naked and cold and empty, and cry so hard your eyesight will be so blurry like your windshields don’t work and it’s raining so much but you keep going,
hoping the storm in your eyes would convince them to
come back. come back because if not, i don’t want this storm to ever end, i don’t want to see if you aren’t there to be seen.
you will ask why they did it. why did they come back, begging your love when they had no intention of loving you back. no intention of keeping your gold heart safe,
after using it up, they throw it out like an old pair of jeans, although once a favourite,
and they will say,
“it just didn’t fit anymore”
like that makes all the sense in the world
and they won’t even look you in the eyes,
instead they will get angry that you are hurting.
they will try to settle the aches by telling you how much you meant to them, and how they had to give it another try just because
"it’s you. and it’s you and me”.
they will tell you something along the lines that
it’s not your fault, they just can’t love you, like their heart isn’t capable
and you just want to scream because you can’t understand
how a person can be so selfish that they had to manipulate you into loving them, only so they can experience a person with a heart likes yours, loving them. how they admired your gold so much, they risked shattering it by taking it out of the safest place it can be placed in, knowing their body is a war zone. How their curiosity was more important than your togetherness. You wonder how selfish and hard a person must be to drink you from a shot glass they know they can’t handle, and when they throw you up the day after, how they just walk away without cleaning up the mess,
you wonder how a single moment like this can make you question the significance of your existence.
and that’s when everything changes.
they warn you
“i never lose”
and you realize it was always a game to them.
how they watched you sacrifice and sacrifice and
give and give. how they just watched.
one minute they are holding you in their arms, as the beauty of the moon and the wishes of the stars melt onto their chest, and they are promising you mountains and oceans,
and the next they have you bowing to their toes, as they make you into nothing but the dirt that dirties their bare feet.
that’s when they walk away by walking over you like you are nothing but a spec of their past, something not worthy to be moved forward with. one moment, they want to spend the rest of their life with you, but then, the moment they feel a little bit of fear and insecurity tingling in their throat, they pretend you are choking them and run away. without even having the decency or respect to let you go with kindness. gentleness. dignity.
and this is what i learnt when i learned about people like this:
after all this. after all the pulling and pushing. the grabbing and letting go. the playing and carelessness. The apathy. the taking and taking and taking .
This is what I learnt:
you are not a man because you claim to be one.
when you do not know or recognize the value of a human heart, you should not be going around collecting them, to make up for the lack of yours.
they are not prized possessions.
when you cannot take responsibility for the scars you left on the body you undressed, played with, and then abandoned,
when you constantly look for fault in others to keep your ego untouched,
when your pretty words are nothing but pretty words, keep them. stop spreading them around, making hearts believe you mean them, when the coward in you won’t make actions out of them.
this is what you taught me:
it is easier to spread my legs open with your bare hands, than to spread my skin open with your bare heart.
strength is defined by pride and how many calls you can ignore and how many messages you can dismiss,
instead of picking up that phone, being the first call, the first message to say
to the love that comes back after it was once lost-
this time, her pieces aren’t being picked up. they aren’t being put back together into human form so you can return back to again when it’s convenient for you.
this time, she’s letting her pieces spread like dandelion seeds from wishes she now knows won’t come true but it’s okay-
A/N: I was watching Boy meets Evil for the 100 time and while watching Hoseok, low key killing me , I got this idea. Hope you like it and sorry for any mistakes made. Requests and asks are open.
Word count: 2, 062
Warnings: Don’t know.😀
School was ok, you had a lot of friends…but the way you felt deep down, wasn’t the same as the way you looked on the outside.
Last year ,you were feeling chest pain from time to time. But since then things have been getting worse. You went to see a doctor ,but he said that nothing was wrong with you. Half a year latter, another doctor said that you might have hear problems.
You went back to the first one, but he was so stubborn and didn’t want to admit his mistake. So ,a month passed since your last visit. That idiot of a doctor told you, that if you feel pain again, you should take some pain killers, which weren’t a solution to anything.