why did they have to get divorced

When making your brother an ARMY backfires …

Me: Mom, after the divorce, when you leave Dad, you don’t plan on staying single forever, do you?

Mom: I’ve never thought about it, why?

Me: Well, there’s this guy. A Korean guy.

Mom: A Korean guy?

Me: Yeah, can I set you up with him?

Mom: Uh, how on Earth did you get in contact with a Korean man? We live in South-Asia.

Me: I have my ways.

Mom: I need details.

Me: Well, he’s 45 years old, you’re 40. It could work out.

Mom: Name?

Me: Bang Shi Hyuk.

Mom: Anything else? Has he been married before?

Me: Nope. He has seven sons, though.

Mom: S-SEVEN SONS? HOW DID HE END UP WITH SO MANY? THATS LIKE A WOLF PACK!

Me: No, they’re all older than me. And very well-behaved, too. Like they’ll take care of you. Not the other way around.

My brother *walking into the room*: One of them wrote a song with the lyrics, ‘I’m a master, baby, with your bra.’

Mom: WHAT? THAT’S HORRIBLE!

My brother: And if you think they’re brothers, it’s anything but that. Incest left and right.

Mom: What kind of nonsense-

My brother: Oh and one wants to be Sex Porn Star.

Me *shoving hand over my asshole of a brother’s mouth* It’s not like that. They’re really nice. They do their homework-

My brother: Their youngest failed his English exam.

Me: They’re modest-

My brother: Their computers get invested with viruses because they watch too much porn.

Me: They go to bed on time-

My brother: Two of them play videogames until five in the morning.

Me: They’re down to earth.

My brother: Their eldest thinks he’s worldwide handsome and once said his own mother cried when he was born because she could never be as beautiful as him.

Me: They’ll help you with the house chores-

My brother: One of them said he wants to be a rock in his next life so he could sleep and not do work.

Me: They’re very quiet and not noisy like-

My brother: They scream on the top of their lungs when they’re excited no matter what the setting.

Me: They’re super smart-

My brother: Once, during this interview, they were asked what their favourite American food was and one of them said Sprite. No joke.

Me: They dress well-

My brother: Did I mention this really short one stripped down at an award show to flash his abs?

Me: Mom, don’t listen to him! You’ll inherit a company-

My brother *snorting*: Yeah, a company that doesn’t equally distribute lines.

Mom: Get out of my room.

Mom: Get out of my room, right now.

Hopes for Camp Camp Season 3
  • Magic Episode, because Harrison can do actual magic, holy fuck, this needs to be addressed immediately
  • Nikki and Neil backstory. Why are Neil’s parents divorced? Why doesn’t Nikki’s mom care about her trauma? I want to know and I want to know now
  • Theater Episode where Preston puts on another classic
  • Musical Episode. Maybe Harrison accidentally casts a magic spell that makes everyone sing? Whatever the reason, Max refuses and David spend the entire episode trying to get him to sing
  • Jasper backstory! How did he fukcing die
  • Max Gets A Camp. David feels bad that Max doesn’t have a camp so he tries to find him one
  • Gwen-centric episode Part Two
  • David says Fuck again

that’s all i’ve got for now, feel free to add any

I Got You On My Mind (Part 7)

Jungkook Soulmate AU (Angst)

[Part One] Previous Part | Part Seven | Epilogue

Summary: Jungkook reveals why he rejected you. But is it enough for you to forgive him?

Word count: 1.7k words

Originally posted by jungxook

You watched, mesmerized, as Jungkook fidgeted with his hands, the chords of muscles in his forearms flexing. His gaze was downcast, his plump lower lip caught between his teeth, as he struggled to find the words to stay. You found that this uncharacteristic nervousness made him seem more genuine, but still, it was difficult for you to trust Jungkook after everything that had transpired.

After recently regaining some of your memories, the wounds Jungkook had inflicted still felt fresh. Your heart ached as if it were only moments ago that Jungkook had tossed you aside.

The conflicting memories of Jungkook warred in your mind. On one hand, Jungkook had rejected you with cutting words and a cold heart. But on the other, he had helped nurse you back to health and remained resolutely by your side. Which one was the real Jungkook? 

You wanted desperately to hold onto the version of Jungkook you had imagined as a young girl, not the one who had been sleeping with your best friend.

“She won’t believe me,” Jungkook thoughts interrupted. Your gaze flickered to his, but he was still staring at the ground, unaware that he was projecting his thoughts. You could feel his uncertainty and fear through your soulmate bond. The sudden urge to comfort him arose, but you pushed it down.

“Jungkook, I promise I’ll listen,” you said quietly. His head shot up, Jungkook’s wide eyes peering into yours. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. “I can’t promise that I’ll believe you, or that everything will be fixed, but I’ll give you this chance to explain everything.”

Jungkook sighed and looked away, his jaw clenching.

“I know I need to explain this to you,” Jungkook began slowly. “But this is really hard for me. I don’t want to show this side of myself to you.”

“Believe it or not, I don’t hate you now and I probably never will,” you said with a small laugh. “We’re soulmates for a reason, you know.”

Jungkook gave you a small smile, his gaze flickering down. “I guess I’ll start from the beginning then.”

You nodded, waiting patiently as Jungkook took an unsteady breath. He closed his eyes for a moment, before exhaling slowly and looking back at you. His eyes were raw and honest.

“The first time I heard your thoughts, I was six,” Jungkook recalled with a fond smile. “You didn’t hear me for awhile later. I still remember what you thought. ‘That looks like a fun tree to climb.’”

“That was the first thing you heard?” you asked incredulously. “I remember that! I climbed a tall-ass tree in the park, and I fell and broke my arm.”

“I know,” Jungkook replied grimly. “I felt it, too. For such an underdeveloped bond, it didn’t make sense for me to be able to feel your emotions. But I could. All I could feel was your panic and pain.”

You winced, recalling the memory from all those years ago. For a six-year-old, it was a terrifying experience.

“I was so young at the time,” Jungkook continued. “I didn’t understand why I could feel emotions that weren’t mine. I didn’t know why I could hear someone else’s thoughts. And I couldn’t understand why I cared so much about a person I’d never met.”

You opened your mouth, but Jungkook cut you off immediately. “Don’t apologize,” Jungkook said, smiling slightly. “I got over it, eventually. It got easier when you started to hear me.”

“That wasn’t until, like, a year later,” you frowned. “That must’ve been so strange.”

“It felt a little intrusive,” Jungkook shrugged. “But your thoughts were pretty entertaining. Plus, I was a really shy kid, so you were my only friend for a little while.”

“That’s really sad,” you said quietly, your voice lilting. “We didn’t have an actual conversation until we were nine.”

“We could have had spoken sooner, but I didn’t want to,” Jungkook confessed, looking away. “I learned how to block my thoughts, mostly. Sometimes I can’t, if I get too emotional.”

“Why didn’t you want to talk to me?” you questioned, a little hurt.

“It wasn’t you,” Jungkook replied immediately. Then, he frowned and clenched his fists. He didn’t speak for several moments, but when he did, his voice was quiet. “It was because of my parents. They were soulmates, but for some reason, they didn’t get along.

“My mom found out that my dad was cheating on her, and it was a mess. They divorced a few months later. My mom got custody, and my dad sort of spiralled,” Jungkook explained, his voice coloured with shame. “I didn’t know how to face my own soulmate after that. I didn’t even know if I could believe in soulmates anymore.”

“Jungkook, I’m so sorry,” you whispered. “If I had known, I would’ve–”

“No, I didn’t want you to know,” Jungkook interrupted. “You were the only person I could pretend to be fine with. You were the only person who didn’t know how fucked up my family–how fucked up I was.”

“You were just a child,” you argued. “How could I think badly of you?”

Jungkook just shook his head. “I wanted to seem like a good person in front of you,” he said. “Even after my parents, I still wanted to believe in soulmates. I wanted to have something to look forward to. You were always so happy, it was easy to pretend with you.”

A few moments of silence passed as Jungkook tried to collect his thoughts. You wanted to reach out, to hold him, but you didn’t know if he would appreciate that.

“My mom had to work a lot to support me and my brother, so she wasn’t home often,” Jungkook continued, his voice low. “My dad picked up drinking. He tried to take us home with him, once. The police had to come.

“My brother was hit pretty hard, since he was older when it happened. I was in middle school when he started high school. He joined a gang, started getting into fights and dealing.

“I didn’t follow him, but I got involved with some pretty bad people. You know what my reputation’s like–it’s because that’s who I am. From high school till now, all I did was party. I drank, I did drugs, I slept around.”

“Why didn’t I know any of this?” you asked, confused. “In all the years we’ve been talking, I couldn’t tell that a single thing was off.”

“I showed you what I wanted you to see,” Jungkook replied with a cold laugh. “I was hoping by the time I met you, I would’ve already cleaned up my act. I didn’t expect to see you that night, and I was so ashamed of myself. And I ended up pushing you away, because I wasn’t ready for you to see me like that.

“You were the last person I wanted to hurt, but I fucked it up anyway,” Jungkook said, his words venomous. “I ruined everything before it even began. It’s fucked up, but after you lost you’re memories, I thought it was like a second chance. I know, it’s fucking disgusting, but I wanted you to see the person I could become.”

“Jungkook…”

“Look, I know everything about me is fucked up, okay?” Jungkook spat. “I don’t want to hear apologies, I don’t need pity. I don’t need forgiveness, either. This is the truth. This is everything I never wanted you to know.”

“Jungkook!” you repeated, more firmly this time. You reached out and grabbed his hand, which was clammy, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Listen to me. All I wanted was for you to be honest with me. It doesn’t matter if you’re embarrassed or ashamed of your past, of yourself. If I’m your soulmate, I want to love all of you.”

Jungkook stared at you, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“If anything, I wish I could have been there for you,” you continued sadly. You played with his large hand, weaving your own fingers in between his. “We’re soulmates, you know? We’re supposed to support each other. There’s a reason why we’re connected, even if we don’t understand.”

“I just hate disappointing you,” Jungkook sighed, squeezing your hand back. “I was afraid to see our relationship crumble. Just being soulmates–I don’t know if that’s enough. If I’m anything like my father–which I am–then we’re doomed.”

“Don’t say that,” you scolded him gently. “I’ll admit, there are some things about you that aren’t great. But you’re more than your mistakes. You’re passionate and kind, and you’ve shown me the best sides of you, too.

“We aren’t so two-dimensional, Jungkook. I’m sure I’m not the perfect person you made me out to be when we were younger,” you laughed.

“But you’re perfect for me,” Jungkook insisted, then blushed deeply. He gulped visibly and looked away.

“Look, I don’t know if I forgive you yet,” you said, and you saw Jungkook deflate. “But I will eventually. I want us to move past this together.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook whispered, his voice cracking. He looked up at you. “I know I don’t deserve that, or you. But you’re the reason why I even try. If it wasn’t for you, I’d have probably given up already.”

“You should want to live for yourself, Jungkook,” you smiled sadly. “I am your soulmate, but I’m not your entire world.”

You pulled Jungkook into your arms, and he immediately buried his nose in the crook of your neck. You weren’t sure, but you thought you could feel wetness against your skin. Was he crying?

“You helped me a lot these past few weeks,” you continued, holding Jungkook tightly in your arms. “Let me help you now. We’ll make it through this, together. Okay?”

Jungkook nodded against your neck. And despite how terribly everything began, you were almost certain that everything would turn out just fine. With Jungkook truly by your side now, you felt strong. You were determined to unravel the mystery of the boy in your arms, who felt as far away as he was close.

- Girl in Luv

One more part to go, then it’s finished! How did you guys feel about this chapter? Are you still mad at Jungkook? His behaviour sort of makes sense now…I hope. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this series, and thanks to everyone who stuck with it! Look forward to the last instalment of I Got You On My Mind. I’m always so thankful for the support we receive, from the replies to the fanmail. You guys are the best! Happy reading 💛

Superfamily Thing

Dad and pops were fighting again.


They had been for at least a week now. Peter was used to the occasional blowup for a night, maybe two, before they got all stupidly sappy with one another again.
This was new. Scary.

They avoided each other in the day and screamed at each other in the night when they thought he was asleep. Pops had been sleeping in the spare room for at least six of the seven nights it had been going on for. Dinner time had become a nightmare; Uncle Clint having to swap seats so he was sat in between them and prevent another fight from springing up while they ate.


He didn’t want them to split up. Divorced parents were a pain in the ass, according to the girl who sat next to him in math class. She was always talking about what a hassle it was, moving all her stuff from one house to another every weekend.

And it meant one of them would have to leave. Move out. Get a new life and a new partner and maybe even a new kid-

But Peter really didn’t want to think about that.


Today was the fifth day of Peter coming home to see only one of his parents in the kitchen, where there should usually be two. They tended to hang around, waiting for him in order to ambush him and ask questions about his day. Their latest fad was ‘so how was Wade today?’ or something along those lines, in that stupid sing-song voice that adults always did when they were being dicks.

It had been irritating- but Peter wouldn’t have minded now. If it meant they’d been doing it together, sending stupid smirky grins toward one another or just holding hands at the table rather than looking cold and tired- he wouldn’t have minded at all.


Today it was dad who greeted him. He was sat with a coffee in hand and tablet in the other, idly tapping at the keys and trying to keep his eyes open. Peter knew he hadn’t been sleeping well- it wasn’t exactly hard to tell. And although they never spoke to him about what they did with the avengers, Peter could guess that that had been the trigger for all the stupidity lately. 

He didn’t have to be the genius he was in order to figure that out. Pops hadn’t come back from the mission two Fridays ago; they’d hurried him off to hospital instead. And then three days later, once he’d been given the all-clear, dad had brought him home, where they’d proceeded to have  a huge argument. Right in front of Peter. 

Honestly, he’d just wanted to be able to sit with pops and make sure he was okay- let him stroke his hair and quiet his worries and say how tough he was, that he wouldn’t go down that easy. But instead he’d had to be hurried away by Uncle bruce, who was rolling his eyes and apologizing on behalf of them, saying that he’d be able to talk to his pops soon, but it wasn’t a good time right now.

Peter had scowled, told Uncle Bruce moodily ‘I’m thirteen, not an idiot- I know that’, and then slammed up to his room to wait it out. And, of course, Pops had hobbled up eventually; sitting on the bed with him and assuring him he was okay, he was tough as nails, and he would always, always come home to Peter.


Except he’d been alone. and usually, no matter how mad they were at each other, Pops and Dad had always talked to Peter about this together.

That had been the first warning. From then on, it had seemed things just got progressively worse.


“Hey squirt- how was school?” Dad asked, when Peter dropped his bag and began making his way into the kitchen in order to make himself a bowl of cereal (he was a growing boy, okay, shut up, cereal in the afternoon was perfectly fine, his Uncle Clint did it all the time).

he shrugged. “Eh- it was okay. Boring, as usual; they gave us a test, I aced it, again, as usual,” Peter explained, carefully avoiding the fact that they’d been learning about The Battle of New York in lesson that day. He knew it was a touchy subject for his dad, and he didn’t want to risk upsetting him.

Dad raised an eyebrow, taking a sip from his coffee and watching Peter with a look on his face. Peter just sighed. He knew what was coming.

“So how was Waaade?

He sighed. “Ugh, Wade was fine, he smiled at me while i passed on the corridors today and that was literally all that happened. I honestly don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this, he called me cute once-”

“Once is enough,” his dad shrugged bemusedly, poking Peter in the side as he walked around the table to sit next to him and get to work on his snack. 

“That is not a snack, Peter,” dad said, because unfortunately he was good at reading Peter’s mind like that. “That’s like, a full meal. We’re having dinner in an hour, are you serious-”

“School is hard work,” Peter complained, flopping on to the stool and leaning on his dad’s shoulder theatrically, “It drains me of energy that I need to replenish with Lucky Charms.”

“Natasha will blow her top if she sees you eating that- it’s her turn to cook tonight. And if she chooses to murder you for eating beforehand, then there isn’t much I can do. I know you’re my son, but the whole parent-bond thing only goes so far-”

Peter bumped him on the shoulder and he laughed quietly. It was nice to see the tension ease off his face a little.


Of course, then everything went wrong again.


“Hey Peter, didn’t know you’d be back so ear- oh,” his Pops said, entering the room and faltering when he saw Dad already sat at the table.

There was an awkward pause. Peter guessed they must have got the days wrong for which one of them was going to go and talk to him about his school day. 
That tended to happen when they didn’t actually speak to one another and acted like they were Peter’s Goddamn age.

Pops managed to collect himself, though- walking forward and smiling as he reached out to squeeze Peter’s shoulder, before heading to the cupboards and grabbing a mug. “You had a good day today?”

Peter shrugged, wishing it didn’t feel as tense as it did. Why the hell did parents have to argue anyway? It was stupid. They were being stupid, and Peter just wanted them to kiss and make up already- because that’s what they did, that’s what they always did, right? This wasn’t going to last, it couldn’t- Peter didn’t want to have two homes, he didn’t want Dad to marry someone else or Pops to have different kids-


It was only then that he realised Dad and Pops had moved, resting a hand on each shoulder while he leaned forward on to the table and hid his crumpled face in the crook of his arms.

 “Peter! Hey, baby, what’s happened, did something go down at school-”

“Do we need to go in, because we’ll go in, okay- whatever’s wrong, we’ll sort it out. Are you being bullied?”

“Did someone hurt you?”

“Did you have an argument with your friends?”

“Were y-”

“IT’S YOU TWO!” Peter yelled, jerking upward again and throwing his hands in the air. “God, this is the first time you’ve been this close to each other in ages! I haven’t seen you look each other in the eye when you’re around one another except to argue! Why the hell are you both being so stupid? I don’t…I don’t want you to get divorced! But you will and then you’ll both find stupid new people and have stupid new lives and leave me behind and we won’t be a family any more and I don’t want that so just STOP FIGHTING!”

He didn’t stop to listen to whatever stupid crap they tried to throw at him; instead kicking the chair he was sat on over and storming out of the room angrily, ignoring their calls and running up into his room before they could bother him. 

(Read more, mobile users!)

Keep reading

Dear Dream Daddy Devs,

@dreamdaddygame

Hello, my name is James. You don’t know me, but hopefully this ‘letter’ reaches you and you get to know me. You recently held an interview admitting that Joseph was intentionally written to have no good ending, and that you were taken aback by the fact that so many people wanted him to have one.

While I understand that you wanted to put a fun twist on things and I respect you for it, making the twist be “well, you shouldn’t have dated him anyway” is probably the most offensive thing you could have possibly done. I’ll delve into why a bit more in a second, but first I want to point out that creating a dating sim where you can’t date one of the characters is basically akin to having the final boss in a FPS one you have to fight entirely through melee. While it sounds like an interesting idea, there’s a reason no FPS has done that before.

I was raised in the middle of Montgomery, Alabama. My father, the man that I am still afraid to come out to, took me to a southern Baptist church every Sunday. It was there that I learned that being gay was a sin, that I should repress any feelings I have and, if I didn’t, I was a disgusting sinner and I deserved to go to hell. I still to this day have trouble admitting that I am a Christian because I have so many terrible memories about that church.

So, you can only imagine how amazingly happy I was that you created a game that had so much diversity that it even included a gay Christian character. I was fucking ecstatic, even! I felt like someone was finally acknowledging me as a person who exists rather than a joke on TV. It was amazing! And then you had a trans dad! And a gay black man!! My God!! It had everything!! I had to buy this game when it came out because it not only spoke to me, but to other minorities that exist that I saw in some of my friends.

And then I finished Joseph’s route. I was shocked, at first, thinking maybe I did something wrong? I mean, my character prompted me to try again, after all. So I played it again. And again, and again. Still, no better ending than him staying with his wife and you either being dumped or a ‘side piece’. Researching the game only made it worse, because now not only was I upset that I couldn’t get a good ending with a character that resonates with me, but so much of the fandom had started spreading posts about Joseph being a terrible man for cheating on his wife.

Let’s actually talk about Mary real fast; you say she was your favorite character and that you wrote her to be misunderstood in the end, and I get that. She’s a really good person, but surely you realize you wrote her as an alcoholic, neglectful wife that actively cheats on her husband? Like, on Robert’s third date, she walks away with a man hand in hand. If that wasn’t you trying to imply that she was going home with him, then maybe you should consider re-writing that entire interaction. You wrote Joseph and Mary into a knowingly toxic marriage, but decided that, in the end, you weren’t going to give either of them a good ending. By not letting Joseph have a good ending, you’ve trapped Mary into a marriage that she in not happy in. You did both say she was your favorite character, yes? Give her a happy ending, then.

Oh, and also while we’re on the morally grey characters, uh, you gave Robert a good ending while one of his routes is basically him sexually manipulating you? You gave him a good ending. Why can’t Joseph get one where he divorces Mary, says that he may need a break, but he still wants to be with you? Like, how is that any different than Robert’s “okay I need a break but I still want to be with you”? But, I digress.

My name is James. I am a gay, Christian man that was raised to believe that there was something wrong with him. I am a man who was absofuckinglutely ecstatic that there was a gay dating sim that featured a gay Christian character in it. A gay Christian character in a failing marriage that reads, at least at first, like so many of the stories you hear from the south where gay men are forced into straight relationships because otherwise they might get fucking attacked in the street for daring to be queer. I’m serious, I remember my mom telling me a story about how a gay club got attacked by someone when I was six/seven years old. Christian gay men getting attacked by another Christian man who couldn’t stand the fact that they existed.

Joseph was my representation, and you wrote him to be a character that you intentionally could not date because you wanted to make a dating sim with an interesting plot twist for, I don’t know, social allegory or whatever.

Thank you for making a game with an amazing amount of diversity. I have so many trans friends that are beyond excited that there’s a mainstream game with a transgender character that you can actually date. I’ve seen black men online go crazy because they have representation in a video game.

But I am not going to thank you for Joseph Christiansen. I am not going to thank you for creating a character that I know resonated with so many other gay Christians out there that you admit was in there to basically just make the player feel bad.

I don’t want my money back because I still want to support you and I’m glad I did because you’ve done so much good with this game. You’ve given representation to people who normally don’t get any of it at all, and that’s amazing! All I want is for you to, please, at least read this and consider adding in a good ending for Joseph. Consider giving him an ending similar to Robert and having him admit that the marriage wasn’t good for him or Mary. Consider giving Mary and Joseph the good endings that they deserve.

Thank you very much for reading,

- James

The hurting - part 2 of It’s Over

hello hello! this was originally going to be two parts but i had a lot planned and i thought it would be too long. so i thought about doing three parts instead. sorry for the wait! hope you like part two! xx M

heath ledger deadass looks like harry in this movie, bye


Heartbreak. There is the kind of heartbreak that a person can get over. Sometimes it’ll take a few days, weeks, or even months. But eventually, a person can get over it. Even though sometimes it may linger in the back of the person’s mind but they’d only remember it as a small memory from their past.

It can make one strong or weak. It can change one’s perspective on certain aspects of life like love or trust. 

Heartbreak can make one strong. It can teach one a lesson about not giving yourself to someone entirely. Keeping a part of you to yourself only because you’re your own person. 

That’s the kind of heartbreak Y/N wishes she could have gone through. But if your heart is broken in the worst way by someone who you thought was going to be your soulmate, then you don’t know if you’d ever recover from it. That’s the kind of heartbreak a person can’t get over. The kind where you give yourself to someone entirely and they hold your heart in their hands. Just from making one decision, they can break it like it never mattered. Like your heart isn’t fragile. 

That’s how Y/N felt with Harry.

He was everywhere. No matter where she went. No matter how much she tries to distract herself, there was always something that reminded her of him. Of her soulmate. The man who broke her heart without realizing it until he had to face it too. 

 He knew that he broke her heart. He just didn’t know how much regret and guilt was going to come crashing down onto him until it actually happened. Until he saw her broken face. Until he saw her no longer wearing the wedding ring he put on her himself, promising that he would remain faithful to her the rest of their life together. 

It was all gone. All of those promises are broken.

But the heart aching pain and memories, it was still there. 

It’s been two months since Y/N left Harry. Two months since she left him in their house with her wedding ring in her bedside drawer. Two months since she left Harry with no remorse because he deserved to feel the pain. She had to watch her husband come home every night with another woman’s perfume and marks on him like he was someone she could just share. But it felt like a stab right to the heart. So seeing Harry’s broken and crumbled face didn’t make her feel anything but emotionless. Because he deserved it. 

Y/N had left Harry on that same exact night she confronted him. She already had her bags packed because she couldn’t take it anymore; seeing Harry give himself to another woman when he should’ve only belonged to her. She didn’t know what made her stay for so long. Maybe it’s because she loved him far too much. Maybe, just maybe, did she think that Harry would’ve stopped. But he never did so she was never going to stay. 

She had stayed with a friend until she got her own apartment. Harry would constantly call and text her, begging her for forgiveness. For a chance. Because he’s an idiot and he messed up so badly. Because he wasn’t thinking. But Y/N didn’t care at this point. She had given him a chance without him noticing. She just wanted a little bit of his heart. She just wanted to see that maybe he would stop because he promised her that he was all hers. But he went back on that promise and broke it. 

Once the media found out, it was plastered on every news stand. All over websites. It was constantly talked about and mentioned everywhere they went. Paparazzi following the two for questions. Y/N would feel like she couldn’t breath every time someone asked her what happened, who ruined it, why did they ruin it. Some of the answers to those questions are ones that Y/N needs too. 

Why did Harry ruin it? What did she do to deserve it?

She could no longer take it. She didn’t want to be associated to him any longer. So she sent him divorce papers that he had yet to receive. She didn’t care about money or the house. He could have it all. She didn’t want any of it. She just wanted to get away from the man who took her heart from her and crushed it like it was nothing. 


It was around four in the afternoon when Y/N heard a loud pounding on her door. She felt herself jump, slightly spilling the hot tea she was making in the kitchen. Cautiously, she walks towards the door, worried who it might be and why they were knocking like they were about to break her door down. 

When she opened the door slightly, she felt her airways constrict and she could no longer breath because she sees a mess right in front of her. 

Tangled hair, swollen red eyes with hues of dark purple beneath them and a stubbly chin stood Harry. And in his hands tightly held were the divorce papers. 

“Y/N,” His voice cracks, deep and raspy like he was just crying. 

Y/N already felt herself trembling, ready to shut the door but he stops her, putting his feet between the door with his hand pushing against it. 

“You need to go,” She tells him, already falling apart. 

“No, please, just listen to me, please, Y/N,” He cries out, the tears already streaming down his tired face. 

She doesn’t bother holding the door anymore, too tired to argue. Too tired to do anything at this point. 

“What is there to listen to Harry?” Is all she asks. 

“I just–you, you sent these divorce papers,” He mutters, a doleful look etched upon his face. 

A look of disbelief takes over Y/N’s face and she puts her hand on her chin pretending to think, feeling her anger increase already. “Gee Harry, I wonder why–maybe because my fucking husband cheated on me!” She spits harshly and he winces, shame written all over his face.

“I-I know,” he mumbles, “God, Y/N, I know because I can feel it. I know what I did and yeh don’t know how much I regret it, dammit, I don’t know what else to say other than sorry!” The tears dribble down his chin and he sniffles through his nose. 

“If you know, then why are you asking me? You think sorry is gonna fix this?” She mocks, a hostile look on her face. “You broke me! You promised me you were gonna take care of me. You promised me a happy life. You promised me you were all mine. Dammit, Harry,” She cries, “You took my heart right from me and crushed it! Imagine how the fuck I feel right now?! I constantly ask myself what I did wrong but I still don’t have an answer!” Her chest heaves hardly when she finishes speaking, her tears uncontrollable now. 

“I-I d-don’t know what t’ say,” He stutters out. 

He had no excuse for his actions. There was never going to be a good excuse for this. He lost her for good. 

“Just sign the papers and leave me alone!” Y/N says bitterly, ready to shut the door on his face because she could no longer stand in front of him like this. 

A pained expression takes over Harry’s face and he vigorously shakes his head, “No, No, Y/N please, No!” He begs but she brushes it off, slamming the door shut and locking it. Her back is against the door and she slides down until her bum meets the floor. She brings her hand up to her mouth, sobbing in her hands as the tears don’t stop. 

She didn’t think it was possible for her heart to hurt any more than it already did. 

“’m not giving up on us, Y/N, an’ ‘m not signing these divorce papers either! I love you dammit!” Harry speaks through the door, knowing she’s still there. 

Y/N lets out a shaky sigh, “You gave up on us a long time ago, Harry.” Is all she says to him, ignoring his last words. If he really loved her, he wouldn’t have cheated on her.

And with those words being spoken, Harry felt himself fall apart all over again like the night she left him. 


It’s been a week since Harry showed up at Y/N’s doorstep with the divorce papers. He still didn’t sign them. He’d still call and text her even though she hasn’t answered a single one. 

It’s two in the morning and Y/N is trying to get some sleep but it was still hard. It was still hard to fall asleep when she was so use to having Harry’s large, lean body laying beside her. She’d remember all the times he’d cuddle her from behind or sometimes she would cuddle him because he loved being the little spoon even if he was much larger than her. She missed it. She hated the fact that she still missed him. She hated how she still thought about him. She shouldn’t being thinking about him but she still did because she still loved him when he didn’t even deserve her love. 

The sound of her phone vibrating on her nightstand causes her to let out a tired sigh and open her eyes. She leans up on her elbow to grab her phone, squinting at the screen in the dark. She wasn’t surprised to see Harry calling her considering he does it every day. 

She decides to answer the phone so she can tell him to fuck off because she’s trying to get some sleep for once and not think about him. 

“Dammit Harry, can you at least leave me alone at this time–” She was cut off by his giggling, loud music playing in the background. What the hell was he doing at this time? 

“Y/N,” he speaks through the phone, “Miss youuu, loveee,” He drags out.

Y/N rolls her eyes. He was drunk. 

“Harry, I’m gonna hang up.” She says, meaning it. 

He quickly protests, his voice going from happy to sad in a matter of seconds, “No, no, don’t hang up, ‘m alone–oops sorry, mate.” She hears the sound of a glass breaking, her eyes go wide and she felt worried that Harry got hurt. The music dies down, Harry’s heavy breathing the only sound coming through the phone. 

“Harry, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I dunno,” He says drunkenly, leaning against the brick wall in the alleyway. 

“You don’t know?” She sighs, “Harry, how much have you had to drink?”

“I dunno,” He answers again, “‘ve lost track after the ninth one.” He says drowsily. 

Y/N sits up on the bed, wide awake and worried that he might drink too much if he goes back in for more. 

“Harry, I need you to go home,” She says calmly even though she felt herself getting upset for even answering in the first place. 

“Wha’? Why? ‘m just ‘avin a drink!” He grumbles, seeing his vision go blurry and he sits down on the cold ground.

“You don’t even know much you’ve drank, Harry!” Y/N stresses. 

“S’not like you’d care,” He mumbles sorrowfully, “’m sure you’d be happy ‘f yeh find out ‘m in the hospital. Won’t even bother yeh anymore. Won’t even call yeh or text yeh anymore an’ ‘m sure you’d be so happy–”

Y/N interrupts him, hating that he’s talking like this. “Harry, of course I still care about you. I don’t wanna wake up to a call from the hospital, notifying me that you’re getting your stomach pumped from drinking so much.”

Harry doesn’t say anything, resting his head between his knees as he brings it up to his chest. 

“Harry,” Y/N calls out, wondering why he wasn’t say anything.

“Hm?” He hums, feeling his body betray him. 

“Harry, where are you?”

“‘m-’m ou’side,” he slurs. 

“Where?” She asks, getting up from the bed in a hurry to put on a jacket and shoes. 

“Dunno,” he mumbles, making her feel frustrated. 

“Dammit Harry! Just stay there and don’t leave okay?” 

“Mhm,” He responds, allowing her to let out a sigh of relief because he was still a little conscious. 

Y/N grabs her keys and runs down stairs to her car, worried sick that someone might take advantage of Harry. Even after all of this, she was still going to worry about him because she still loved him. She didn’t want anyone to take advantage of Harry in such a vulnerable state, half unconscious and drunk outside of a club. She drives to the club closest to his house and parks her car on the side of the road. She runs her hands through her hair, looking around to find her husband’s lanky body. 

She sighs in relief when she’s him sitting on the side of the building, unharmed. She runs to him, shaking him awake. 

“Harry, Harry. Wake up,” She tries and he flutters his eyes, confused. 

“C’mon! I need to get you home,” She pulls him up from the ground, wrapping her arms around his waist while he throws an arm around her shoulder, dragging his feet along the ground.

“O-Our home?” He asks her timidly. Y/N felt her stomach hurt, a lump forming in her throat at his words. 

“Mhm,” Is her only reply but she felt heart hurt in her chest.

Harry giggles drunkenly, “Our homeeee,” he smiles, “missed yeh, pet.” He slurs, leaning against her as she tries to open the door. She helps him sit down in the passenger seat, putting on his seat belt for him. He leans his head back against the headrest, closing eyes to inhale the familiar scent of her car. God, he missed her so damn much. 

He watches her start the car as soon as she gets in, watching for any cars so she could pull out from the spot. 

He wanted to savor this small amount of time with her. He knew that she was going to leave as soon as he gets home and he didn’t want her to leave. He missed her. He missed her scent even though he could smell her everywhere. He missed seeing her beautiful sleeping face every time he woke up in the morning, only to be met with an empty bed side. He missed kissing her. He missed her laugh whenever he’d do something entirely dumb or say a really lame joke she’d laugh at nonetheless. He missed hugging her from behind and making her jump in surprise when she least expected it in the morning. He missed her voice. He missed their conversations about the most random things. He missed her smile that would cause butterflies to erupt in his stomach still every time. He missed her comfort when he’s had a bad day. Now every day felt like a bad day because she wasn’t there. She wasn’t there to soothe him and it was all his fault. He was the one to blame for both of their pain. He was the one who decided to ruin their marriage because he was being selfish and had sex with another woman. He was the one who decided to remove his wedding ring first. He broke his promises to her. It was all his fault. 

Y/N felt tense as she drove, knowing Harry was staring at her and she didn’t dare to look at him. She didn’t want to look into his pale green eyes only to feel weak. He made her feel weak. He made her feel weak because he was the one who took a part of her with him. He was the one who she’s still hopelessly in love with him. She hates that she doesn’t hate him. She wants to hate because he fucking cheated on her but she doesn’t. She loves him so much. She loves him so much and she still cares about him that she came to pick him up drunk from a club, worried sick that he would end up in the hospital. She hated how he still had this affect over her. 

Harry brings his hand up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, watching her swallow thickly as she stares ahead at the road. She ignores his actions, knowing it was pointless to say anything because he was drunk. He doesn’t even notice when they reach their house until she stops the car and turns off the ignition. 

He fumbles with the seat belt holder, unclicking it after a few seconds. She opens the door and helps him outside of the car. He wraps an arm around her shoulder again, taking advantage of the fact that she was right here. Right next to him. 

She still has the key to the house so she pulls it out, unlocking the front door. When they walk into the house, Y/N is immediately met with the sight of a messy house. There’s a broken vase on the floor and bottles of different alcohol strewn across the house. She notices a bunch of crumpled up papers scattered upon the floor and coffee table in the living room. There’s a pillow and blanket on the couch and she wonders if he’s been sleeping in the living room.

Her question is answered when he drags her to the couch instead of upstairs. 

“Don’t wanna sleep upstairs,” He mumbles tiredly, rubbing his eyes. 

“Why not?” She asks him even though she probably doesn’t want to know the answer. 

“s’where we’ve made love, talked ‘bout babies an’ everythin’. Didn’t want t’ sleep there ‘cos it hurts,” A look of pain takes over his face as she helps him lay down on the couch. She lets out a shaky sigh, not responding to his words. She walks over to kitchen and grabs him a bottled water from the fridge. She sees the empty fridge and she’s worried that he’s not eating properly. She’s noticed that he’s definitely gotten skinny since she last saw him. 

She walks back to the living room, seeing him laying with his eyes shut and breathing heavily. She puts the water bottle down, not wanting to wake him because he looks like he’s falling asleep after days. It was going to be hard to say goodbye if he’s awake again, knowing he might stop her from leaving. 

Y/N decides to clean up the broken vase, not wanting him to get hurt either when he wakes up. She’s starting to worry how much alcohol he’s consuming everyday because every message she deleted from her phone seemed incoherent from drinking. 

When she finishes cleaning up the vase, she quietly walks to the door but stops when she hears him whimpering her name. 

“Y/N, Y/N,” her eyes go wide as she sees him thrash around a bit on the couch. “Don’t leave, please. ‘ve messed up badly an’ ‘m sorry. ‘m sorry. ‘m sorry.” He keeps repeating and she felt her heart hurt and her throat was constricted but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t do this. She shouldn’t even be here right now. She could’ve called one of Harry’s friends to pick him up tonight but she didn’t because in that moment, she didn’t think, she was just worried about him. 

Seeing how badly Harry was reacting to this was starting to break her heart. At first, she wanted him to feel heart broken just as much as she did. She wanted him to feel the pain just as much as she did. She wanted him to face the consequences; to see what he’s done to him. But seeing Harry get drunk almost every night and almost to the point where he may have to get his stomach pumped, didn’t it any better. It only made her worried. 

Maybe she was going to rethink this divorce. Maybe in the back of her mind somewhere she might give him a chance. He didn’t deserve it. Not when he constantly cheated on her with the same woman. Not when he broke every promise he made to her. He didn’t deserve her love and pity. But Y/N can’t help it when she’s still so irrevocably in love with him. He’s just made her that weak. He just has that much control over her heart and mind. 

She felt herself fall apart when she had to leave him on the couch in that state. He was clinging a pillow to his chest like a child, cheeks covered with tear stains. 

Maybe he did make her weak. Maybe she was going to cancel the divorce. Harry hasn’t even signed the papers so it’s not like it would’ve happened anytime soon. But she’s not going to run back to him either. She thinks that they’re better off separate for now. Until she’s made a final decision because seeing the love of her live tearing himself apart like this was something she couldn’t just brush off. 

She just needs time to heal.


Alrighttttt I’m sorry if this part bored you guys! I’ve been writing this for four hours and I still have a lot to say which is why I’ve decided to split it into 3 parts. Part 3 will be up sometime this week. Thanks for the read homies. By the way, i’ve skimmed through so ignore any typos, i’ll fix them later. xx M

Nightmares

Part six to Nap Date. 2, 3, 4, 5

Shawn’s been gone for about three and half weeks. It’s understandable that it’s hard for the couple, it being his first time leaving her since they’ve been married. It’s more understandable that it’s hard on them because they had their first big fight before he left.

All couples fight, that’s normal. But they hadn’t fought since before the wedding. It was right before he left, and they never really got a chance to make up. At least not in person.

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/n, you need to promise me.”

“Shawn, you haven’t even left yet and you’re yelling at me because you think that I’m not gonna tell you if anything goes wrong?”

“I know you won’t tell me. I want someone to stay with you.”

“To stay with me?” She asks, anger seeping in her voice.

“Yeah one of the boys.”

“Fuck that.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m a big girl Shawn, I don’t need some fucking babysitter.”

“It’s not a babysitter.”

“Yes it is, you want someone to stay here and watch my every move. I’m okay Shawn, and I don’t need some fucking sitter here to make sure. I’m no damsel and in distress. But you know what it’s good to know you think that I can’t care for myself.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Yes it is, you just fucking said that I wouldn’t tell you if something happens, which for your information I would. Thanks for the thought, but no thanks.” She starts to storm off.

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know, somewhere where I won’t be treated like a child.”

“Stop.” He says reaching out, trying to grab her.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Y/n.”

“Give me a second.” She says walking out of the house.

That’s where it was left, when she returned he was asleep on the couch. She tried to get him to go to bed but he refused, still mad at her. She knew he would be, he hates how she leaves when they get into an argument. In his head it is her way of showing doubts in their relationship.

She stayed on the other couch all night, hoping that he would wake up and they could talk it out before his flight. But he didn’t, he woke when his alarm went off. She was snoozing on the couch. He grabbed his bags, getting ready to leave. When he was about to walk out the door he kissed her forehead, waking her.

“You’re up.” She said sighing in relief.

“I have to go.”

“What?”

“I have to go.”

“Wait, can we talk?”

“No time.”

“Shawn don’t leave like this.”

“Sorry.”

“Wait.” She says grabbing his arm, holding him to her. “For a minute, please talk to me for a minute.”

“I have to go.”

“I know, I know, tell Andrew it’s my fault. I’ll take the blame, just don’t leave like this.”

“You’re okay.” He says noticing how tense she is. “We’re okay. It was just a fight, we’re over it now. I love you, but I have to go.”

“Shawn.”

“I want to talk, I do. But I can’t be late. I love you.” He says walking out the door. She just stood there in shock.

He didn’t even kiss her goodbye.

She hasn’t been herself. She’s not sleeping and is completely obsessed with her phone, waiting to hear from him.

He hadn’t quite picked up on her attitude change, not until she asked to see him.

“Please.”

“Honey, are you okay?”

“Please Shawn can I come?”

“Babe, I don’t know.” He says thinking over his schedule.

“Do you not want me to come?” She asks, voice breaking.

“What? No. Of course I want you to come, I’m just worried about my schedule. I’m not sure how much you’ll actually see me.”

“Shawn, if I only got to see you for five minutes a day it’ll beat not seeing you at all. Please, please can I come?”

“Of course baby, I’ll get you a ticket.” He says, becoming worried on how persistent she is being.

So he did as he promised. He got her a ticket, flew her out to him as soon possible. 

Everyone argued him not too, not to go to the airport to pick her up but he needed to go and see her as soon as he could. She was worrying him and he needed to know what was wrong. 

He stood off to side, hood up, black sunglasses on. He had white roses in his hand. He didn’t know why but he was nervous, but mostly excited to see her. 

She got off the plane and walked out of her gate, standing on her tip toes trying to see Geoff or Andrew. She deflated when she didn’t see anyone.

“Hey Beautiful.” He said behind her, making her turn. 

“Shawn.” She sighed at the sight of him.

“Hey Baby.” He walked closer to her. She just stood their, unsure of what to do. But he took control, wrapping his arms around her. 

“I missed you so much Baby.” He whispered in her ear. She sighed when she heard him say that, some of her worries melting away. 

“I missed you too.” She gasped finally wrapping her arms around him. She buried her face into the crook of his neck, holding on tighter. His arms tightened when hers did. 

“Baby.” He muttered against her ear. 

“Just hold me.” She breathes out. He nods, doing as told. 

They stand in the airport, holding each other for a while. He finally pulls back, making her look at his face. He stares at her, noticing the bags under her eyes and the broken look in her eyes. 

“Come on, let me take you to the hotel.” He says taking her backpack from her. “Let’s get your bag, and then we’ll leave.” He nods to her. She takes in a breath and nods as well. She takes his hand and interlocks their fingers, they both start to walk but he stops short, pulling her back into him. 

“We didn’t properly say hello.” He grins, leaning down and connecting their lips. The feeling that erupts in her, is indescribable. But when he pulls away she feels like she could almost cry. 

This is what she needed, she needed to see him and know that everything was okay. 

He watches her, eyes widening as she reaches up and touches her bottom lip. He leans down quickly, pecking her lips again. That one was for him. He needed to kiss her again, make sure he wasn’t dreaming, that she was actually there. 

He takes her to baggage claim, grabbing her bag. He kisses her hand the whole walk back to the car he drove. He can see that something isn’t right, that he regular self not apparent. 

He throws her bags in the back of the car, kissing her cheek as he walks her to the passenger door. He opens the door but stops her before she can get in. 

“Hey.” He takes her face in his hands, making her look at him. “I love you.” He says, looking between her eyes making sure she heard him. 

“I love you too.” She smiles.

“Don’t forget it.” He says, small smirk appearing on his lips. “You’re mine Y/n Mendes, till the end of time.” 

“It feels so good to hear you say that.” She sighs, and his eyebrows knit together. That was not the response he was expecting. 

He helps her in the car and closes her door. He starts wondering if maybe something happened while he was away, still confused about her response.

The car ride to the hotel is quiet, her hand is in his. He runs his thumb on the back side of her hand, his silent way of letting her know that he’s there if she wants to talk. 

He wants to know what’s wrong, do anything to make her feel better. The thought of her hurting is eating him alive, he wants to make her pain go away. But he doesn’t want to pry and make her more uncomfortable than she already is. 

“How’s tour?” She speaks up looking over at him. 

“Oh um, it’s alright. Tiring, it’s hard to be away from my girl.” He says looking over at her. 

“Yeah.” She says looking out the window. 

It takes everything in him not to ask what’s wrong, he wants her to go to him. He doesn’t want to force her to speak if she doesn’t want to, but she looks so broken and he just wants to help her.

They make it to the hotel and he takes her up to his room, hand on the small of her back as he guides her. 

“How long to I have you for today?” She asks walking into the room.

“All day, I cancelled my interviews today. I needed some time with my girl.”

“Thanks.” She smiles a tight lipped smile. 

“Baby why don’t we take a nap? That flight was long, I want you to be rested.”

“No, I wanna spend time with you.”

“I’ll nap too, cuddle you.” He says taking his jacket off. 

“Okay.” She nods. 

They both make their way to bed, enjoying being in each others arms. She dozes off, finally being able to sleep. He’s still awake, drawing soothing circles on her back. 

It’s peaceful, and she’s relaxed in his arms. 

Until she’s not. She tenses and he can feel it. She clutches his shirt and her breathing picks up. He watches her worried, confused as to what is happening.

“No.” She mutters in her sleep. “No. Don’t go.” She says, a tear running down her face. 

“Baby.” He rubs her arm, hoping to wake her.

“No.” She says louder.

He wanders what she’s dreaming about. 

“No, Shawn, no.” She cries. That’s when his heart stops, she’s dreaming about him. “Don’t leave Shawn.” 

“Baby, I’m right here.” He says trying to wake her up. He’s scared now. 

“Please don’t leave.” 

“Baby.” He shakes her arm. She jolts awake and takes in a huge breath. She looks at him and sighs. “Baby.” He says taking her back into his arms.

“I’m sorry.” 

“What happened?”

“It was just a nightmare.”

“What was it about, you said my name.” He says confused.

“Yeah, you were leaving.”

“Leaving?”

“Divorcing me.” 

“What?” He asks sitting up. 

“We fought and you left me.”

“How many times have you had this nightmare?”

“Every night since you left.”

“Baby.” He says caressing her cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I didn’t want you to get mad.”

“Mad? How could I get mad?”

“I don’t know, I thought you would get angry that I would think that.”

“I’m angry, more sad. Baby, what made you have these dreams? Did I do something to make you think that I would leave you?”

“Um,” She trails off and it clicks for him.

“When I left for tour.” He says, grip tightening on her.

“Yeah.” She whispers.

“Baby.” He makes her look up at him.

“I know you said we were fine, that you weren’t angry anymore but we never really talked it out, you didn’t kiss me goodbye.”

“What?”

“What?”

“I didn’t what?”

“Kiss me goodbye.”

“I did,” He wanders off thinking back to that day. “n’t, You’re right I never kissed you goodbye.” 

“Yeah.”

“Wow, I’m a jackass. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I walked out not kissing you goodbye.”

“It’s okay.”

“No it’s not, you’ve been home for three and a half weeks thinking that I wanted to divorce you. Baby, that thought has never even crossed my mind.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He says pulling her into his lap. “I love you so much, you have no idea. I can’t believe that you’ve been home thinking that. Talk to me next time, it hurts to think that you’ve been home hurting all by yourself. You don’t have to deal with this on your own anymore, I’m here for you.”

“I know, I stopped thinking that way. When we kept talking and everything seemed normal but I thought the nightmares would stop. But they just got worse.”

“I’m here now, you’re here now. And you’re not leaving.” He says holding her tighter. “You’re on tour now, I don’t want to be away from you anymore. I don’t thing I can handle being away from you anymore.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, come here.” He says pulling her to his lips. 

“I’m so tired Shawn, I haven’t slept in weeks.” 

“Sleep now, I’ve got you. You’re okay.” He says helping her settle in bed. 

“Could you say its a nap date?”

“Yeah, our nap dates are always eventful.”

“True.”

“I love you, sleep well.”

“I love you too.”

*Part 7?*

Wait a second!

I feel like I had an “aha!” moment. I might just be saying something everyone else has, and forgive me if that’s the case, but hear me out. 

Prior to January 15th, we all thought Sherlock would confess his love to John during The Final Problem

However, Sherlock couldn’t have. He still wasn’t ready for romance. How do I know this? The Abominable Bride told us so.

This post by jon-lox pointed out that the line “romantic entanglement” is very specific, and it occurs twice, first in the greenhouse scene from TAB:

John: Why do you need to be alone?

Sherlock: If you are referring to romantic entanglement, as I have often explained before, all emotion is abhorrent to me.

And then in TLD:

Sherlock: As I think I have explained to you many times before, romantic entanglement, while fulfilling for other people–

John: Would complete you as a human being.

Jon-lox’s post concludes that since these two big scenes were interrupted, since this entire conversation was aborted twice, it has to happen again, and on the third time, it will be resolved. I agree. It’s significant that those two scenes had very similar dialogue and neither conversation brought about any real change in Sherlock and John’s relationship. It leaves the audience yearning for something substantial to come out of Sherlock and John’s exchange, or else it feels kind of pointless.

But, I think a lot of us forgot about how the greenhouse scene concluded, and I believe it’s crucial. After going back and forth, Mind Palace John askes, “What made you like this?”

Sherlock responds, “Oh, Watson. Nothing made me…I made me.” Then, a dog barks, and he goes, “Redbeard?” But, the case picks up, and Redbeard isn’t mentioned again for the rest of the episode.

I think it is so important that Redbeard was included in this specific scene. The scene, of course, tells us that, although Sherlock is unable to recognize this on a conscious level, whatever happened with Redbeard is responsible for who he is today, which is later confirmed in TFP. This scene could have been placed anywhere in the episode, but Mofftiss chose to conclude the conversation about Sherlock’s love life in this way. Why?

The greenhouse scene, in its entirety, told us that Sherlock could not open himself up to emotion and romantic entanglement until he confronted the trauma that forced him to emotionally shut down in the first place.

Again, Sherlock could not make this conclusion about himself because the pieces were still missing with Redbeard, which is why the conversation is left hanging again in real time with John. I remember when TLD aired, I thought, “Why did Sherlock deny feeling romance again? What about the scene in TAB?”

Now, I realize that Sherlock actually couldn’t progress on this matter while there were still unanswered questions so deep in his mind that even his drug-induced dream in TAB couldn’t get to the heart of the problem.

Personally, I don’t have strong feelings about whether TFP is real or fake. I’m keeping an open mind to everything. But, whether Sherlock found out about Victor Trevor/Redbeard in real time or in his mind doesn’t matter. What matters is that Sherlock confronted his childhood trauma which made him (at least attempt to) divorce himself from all emotion. He confronted it, and he overcame it.

Where does this leave us? It’s simple: Sherlock’s ready now. When the third version of this conversation occurs, it will not be left hanging anymore. It will resolve.


I’m pretty new to the meta world and I would really love to get some opinions on this. I’m going to tag a couple blogs which immediately come to mind, and I hope I’m not bothering anyone! Everyone is free to comment on this, though. @inevitably-johnlocked, @tjlc

This was not the plan

Author’s Note: I have not written anything in the past year and it was time to write something new. Any feedback is appreciated, let me know if I should make this a series.

Summary:  Everything was perfect at least she thought so until Dean presented the reader with divorce papers. That was just the beginning of a complicated life for the reader.

Keep reading

*Showering after a long day-*

Brain: Hey, have you wondered about Gladstone in the upcoming episode

Me: what do you want now

Brain: He seems to be warming up to the boys, joking with them and poking fun at Scrooge

Me: so?

Brain: He WANTS them to like him. He WANTS them to think he’s funny-

Me: ok I know where this is going and I’m really not in the mood rn-

Brain: And then there’s that rumor about Donald and Gladstone appearing in a flashback as ducklings

Me: here we go

Brain: What if - WHAT IF..Donald remembers those days with resentment, but Gladstone only remembers them with fondness and wishes he could go back to those days-

Me: i’m not listening!

Brain: He really misses the family and he’s been living alone in Macaw for quite some time and he’s actually really happy to see them

Me: not listening, not listening

Brain: And it’s the first time he sees Della’s kids ever since she disappeared

Me: we’re getting a divorce, you and me

Brain: Maybe he hopes he’ll have with them what he used to have with their mom

Me: why am I even trying

I Would Never Break my Vow

1000 fic request

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Request- may i request a royal!au where you are with child and you see your Prince Bucky with another woman flirting and all and you sink into depression bc he promised you he would be loyal to you? angry & fluffy pls

Message- Here’s the first of the 10 fic recs that I am doing! It’s a royaltyAU. Sorry if it sucks!

Word Count-1073

“You cannot hide this for much longer, my Queen.” You seamstress says. “Has the King not grown suspicious of your lack of a monthly cycle?”

“He has not, he is too busy with her. But you are right he will soon notice the lack of blood in our bed. I will simply move into the courters he offered me when we first were marriedYou mumble.

“Many men take mistresses. Do not let this ruin you.” Your seamstress says as she pulls you into a hug.

“How can I not? He promised that he would stay faithful, always. I-I thought he was falling in love with me.” You sob. After you calm a bit you leave to find your husband.

“James.” You call and he turns and gives you a large smile.

“I thought we agreed on Bucky.” He says as he leans in to give you a kiss, but you lean back. His eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“I just wanted to let you know that I will be staying in the Queens chambers from now on.” You say sharply.

“W-What? H-Have I done something to upset you?” Bucky stutters out.

“I just think us sharing a bed is unnecessary, it is not as though we love each other.” You snap out before quickly turning to leave the room. You leave so quickly that you don’t see the shattered expression on Bucky’s face.

Keep reading

❝ A terrible thing happened!❞
❝ This would be easier if I could understand you better. ❞
❝ I’m about to make it worse.❞
❝ Oh joy. Now my mother can get that kidney operation she so desperately needs.❞
❝ This stays strictly among the Fable community.❞
❝ Lay one hand on me, asshole, and you’ll regret it.❞
❝ I’m taking you in.❞
Never discuss personal hygiene with a bridge troll.❞
❝ You’ve occasionally been clever, _____ … but never smart.❞
❝ You’re getting a bit nosy, mister/miss/misses ______❞
❝ If you can’t maintain a normal human appearance or purchase a concealing Glamour from one of our witches our rules mandate that you be relocated upstate to the Farm, where all the other nonhuman Fables live.❞
Both of you shut up and let me work. ❞
❝ This is abuse of authority! And I got a witness! ❞
❝ Does it matter?❞
❝ We have to make as best we can.❞
❝ Is he/she the one?❞
❝ If she/he opens her/his mouth again, pick her/him up and carry her/him home.❞
❝ I can’t help but notice things. I believe that’s why you hired me,❞
❝ I’m not much interested in what you think is and isn’t a good idea. ❞
❝ You look out of breath, ____. Been climbing beanstalks again? ❞
❝ I’m afraid this time it’s different, I understand there’s blood. Lots if it.❞
❝ Did you run all the way over here just to trade verbal barbs,or is there something else you need? ❞
❝ Don’t be so dramatic. I already know. My ex is back in town.❞
❝ We’ll see.❞
❝ Can’t you go faster? ❞
❝ Damned right I want to know. I’m going with you❞
❝ You power-mad fuckshit!❞
❝ Fine. I get the message. I’ll keep quiet – for now.❞ 
❝ I take it back. You’re still a monster through and through.❞
❝ It looks that way.❞
❝ Hide your wallet first.❞
❝ I won’t take up too much of your time, but I have a few questions.❞
❝ I’m bleeding you shit! Why’d you do that?❞
❝ Is that why your handsome prince/pretty princess divorced you?❞
❝ Get up. It’s morning. I need to go to work and you need to get out.❞
❝ Whoever did this is one of us.❞
❝ You make it sound like a fucking synonym for — I don’t know — a turd sandwich.❞
❝ Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?❞
❝ You can’t fool this nose.❞
❝ Watch your smart mouth, sonny boy/ girlie❞
❝ If you’re going to advance, advance like you mean it. ❞
❝ Unlike you, I have responsibilities.❞
❝ I thought I’d find you out here.❞
❝ How can you be sure? ❞
❝ Don’t you have a government to run?❞
❝ I can’t just now.❞
❝ Did you kill her?❞
❝ Nothing to apologize for. I expected it to happen sooner.❞
❝ You’ve gone dotty, sweetheart.❞
❝ Mister/Miss/Misses _____, if you’re going to insist on calling me princess/prince, please don’t do it in that tone of voice.❞
❝ Why don’t you tell me what you want, so I can get back to work.❞
❝ Don’t beat up on yourself so much.❞
❝ No, ma’am/mister. I’ve never had much of a sense of humor.❞
❝ We’ll get around to him/her. But let’s finish up with you for now.❞
❝ If you think that, maybe you should add me to your suspect list.❞
❝ I apologize for the waterworks in there. That wasn’t very professional of me.❞
❝ Thank you for coming on such short notice.❞
❝ Why don’t you let me handle things from now on?❞
❝ Then my money says ____ did it.❞
❝ So what actual conclusions did you come to?❞
❝ It’s comforting to discover your voice haven’t lost any of its venom over the years, lovey.❞
❝ And what about the time you tried to raffle off the map to your remaining magic beans?❞
❝ I will, if it becomes necessary. I promise. But so far that isn’t the case.❞
❝ How dare I what? Speak rudely to a mass murderer?❞
❝ Then you’re wasting my time and yours.❞
❝ I don’t eat sweets.❞
❝ I’ve had my one loss of composure. You won’t have to worry about further emotional fits from me.❞
❝ Then quit your fucking dissembling and answer!❞
❝ You’re always trying to beat the system, ___❞
❝ Think about that before your next lesson.❞
❝ The minx seduced me.❞
❝ This shouldn’t take long.❞
❝ Well, ain’t that a big kick in the pantalones. ❞
❝ Feel better now?❞
❝ I’m not a delicate flower. I can take bad news.❞
❝ You can’t keep sneaking into the city to crash on my couch.❞
❝ When did you get to be such a potty-mouth?❞
❝ She/he ‘s dead – carved up like a Christmas turkey. And rumor has it that creepy boyfriend/girlfriend of hers/his did the dirty deed.❞
❝ You are an impertinent man/woman. I demand satisfaction!❞
❝ But she/he only dated him/her to make me jealous.❞
❝ Not to worry. Sit down. Make yourselves at home.❞
❝ We can have it lab tested if you like but there’s zero chance that it isn’t her/his blood.❞
❝ What? How dare you!❞
❝ I’m charging this pompous asswipe with ____’s murder.❞
❝ We called ahead. Your boss is expecting us.❞
❝ I’m leaving now, before I scream.❞
❝ I like to come here to think – which I do best when left alone.❞
❝ On-guard position, ____. My turn to attack now.❞
❝ You may not have done anything this time, ___. But you are never innocent.❞
❝ Then comes the fun part I promised. You get to make a big mess.❞
❝ But I can’t help but wonder if you haven’t turned back to your old eating habits.❞
❝ I’ll keep that in mind if I ever do decide to kill anyone.❞
❝ Where did you get all that?❞
❝ And when exactly are you planning to clue me in?❞
❝ Oh look. After all these years, the wolf has finally shed his sheep’s clothing to once more show us the true beast underneath.❞
❝ Oh, we don’t need to stand on formalities. Not when it’s just you and me.❞
❝ You are a tedious, small man, and in need of more frequent bathing.❞
❝ How dare you treat me in such fashion! ❞
❝ Talk now and you can save yourself some pain.❞
❝ That’s not the way we do things anymore.❞
❝ Oh joy. Then don’t carry it that way, or you’re likely to cut your own head off.❞
❝ Wait! Both of you! We don’t want to talk ourselves into rash actions here.❞
❝ Machines hate me. I’m a genetic luddite, incapable of operating anything more complex than my toaster.❞
❝ Do what you need to, but have this wrapped up by the gala.❞
❝ Boo-fucking-hoo.❞
❝ Has it escaped your notice I’m bleeding? I need a doctor.❞
❝ Excuse me?❞
❝ And don’t let the mundys catch you.❞
Get him/her, ____! He/she ‘s trying to kill me!❞
❝ I have no idea. It came out out of the blue.❞
❝ Good hunting, sir.❞
❝ And what are you going to be doing while I’m doing your work for you?❞
❝ This is the vorpal blade of Jabberwocky fame. Kills in one cut, snicker-snack and all that? Does all the fighting for you?❞
❝It’s all very complicated and I can’t explain it yet. So just go along.❞
❝ I was half-way hoping you’d have gone home for the night, so that I could put this off until tomorrow morning.❞
❝ Mop, wax, scrub and paint until you return it to pristine condition.❞
❝ Let’s all step back, take a deep breath, declare a minute’s moratorium on the chest-thumping and see if we can’t think things through a bit more rationally, okay?❞
❝I’m content to cut at you all day and all night, until you confess❞
❝ You can be one frustrating son of a bitch!❞
❝ Your record’s been clean since you came to town.❞
❝ Be my guest. I’d love to have that menace out of my life.❞
❝ Poor baby.❞
❝ Keep your pants on! I’m coming!❞
❝ You need to prepare yourself for some bad news.❞
❝ I’m sorry.❞
❝ The only easy day was yesterday.❞
❝ We’re coming to your rescue.❞
❝ Don’t put ideas in his head!❞
❝ What are you talking about?❞
❝ We both know you’re too much of a narcissistic asshole to ever blame yourself for any of your many failings, so did you blame her/him/_____?❞
❝ Not a chance, boys. Hauling all this crap was just the first act. Your workday has barely begun.❞
❝ The best mother/father any boy/girl could want.❞
Drop the knife and back away from the boy or I’ll rip your fucking throat out.❞
❝ I need you to be in one piece for the big party next week.❞
❝ I’ve got more bad news for the two of you.❞
❝ Nonsense. If I were trying to kill him/her, he/she ‘d be dead now.❞
❝ Can we go now? ❞
❝ What do you say? Growing tired of the taste of gingerbread?❞
❝ If I have to lay my hands on you, it won’t end until one of us is dead on the floor.❞
❝ My hero. *sarcasm*
❝ That means there’s no hope that she/he/___ is still alive.❞
❝ Yeah, well my heart bleeds for you, you know what they say.❞
❝ Most of us knew it was only a matter of time before you reverted to your old ways, ____. Nature cannot be denied.❞
❝ I want something of my own. ❞
❝ I suppose it would have been too much to expect to be born smart as well as privileged. ❞
❝ Where do we buy the lottery tickets? ❞
❝ Why dwell on one unfortunate incident so long ago? ❞
❝ I imagine that will only grow worse after tonight. ❞
Both of you, quit your damned bitching and crying.  ❞
❝ My god, are you completely devoid of social skills? ❞
❝ I didn’t anticipate being the center of so much attention ❞
❝ You’re about to find out exactly how much I can prove. ❞
❝ Enjoying the party? ❞
You ought to know. You helped put it there. ❞
❝ Don’t start. ❞
❝ Pardon me, but you’ve suddenly grown wearisome and pedestrian. ❞
❝ Many of us didn’t have the chance to run. ❞
❝ Ladies and gentlemen, lift your glasses and join me, please, in drinking this toast. ❞
❝ I want to grow up, I want my balls to drop, and I want to get laid. ❞
❝ But maybe there’s a way for all of us to avoid that harsh necessity. ❞
❝ But still working for a minimum wage in a ________ ❞
❝ All sorts of things never occur to you, dear. ❞
❝ Why go into hock to win more lost lands and another useless title? ❞
❝ How much have we made so far? ❞
❝ But you’ve got nothing on me– nothing you can prove, anyway. ❞
❝ You’ve never danced before? ❞
❝ Are you on the menu? ❞
❝ I’m an old veteran of these affairs. ❞
❝ There you are. Don’t you look nice. ❞
❝ But we’re missing the party! ❞
❝ I am most certainly not having a good time. ❞
❝ As promised, my love. ❞
❝ If I win, I’ll be a princess/prince in my own right. ❞
❝ Are you going to act like this all night? ❞
❝ It wasn’t our/my business. ❞
❝ I finally made it. ❞
❝ Oh my, is he your date, princess? ❞
❝ Don’t literally watch your feet, just kindly stop stomping all over mine. ❞
❝ Shut up, you pathetic, bleating child. ❞
❝ Shallots? But you clearly said red onions! ❞
❝ Perhaps women wear low necklines to filter out the gentlemen from the dogs. Those few who can still manage eye contact, even in the presence of breasts like these, might actually have some potential. ❞
❝ You poor girl/boy ❞
❝ And this time leave the guns, daggers and battle axes at home, please. ❞
❝ Do you see why I needed your help? ❞
❝ Don’t spoil the evening, darling. ❞
❝ Oh gosh. I sure hope not. ❞
❝ So how long do we have to do this before we eat? ❞
❝ Gently, please. I’m not some suspect you’re about to wrestle to the ground. ❞
❝ You look like you’re trying to peek down my dress. ❞
❝ I was beginning to think I’d been stood up. ❞
❝ I swear you’ve had that same scowl on your face for the past three or four hundred years. ❞
❝ No wonder they call lotteries taxes on stupid people. ❞
❝ Why don’t you run your own damned errands? ❞
❝ So it’s not as if you’d suffer any embarrassment if I never showed. ❞
Everything must be coordinated to arrive at the proper time! ❞
❝ I demand an explanation! ❞
❝ Now, follow my lead and try to stay off my feet. ❞
❝ We need to be out on the dance floor. ❞
❝ No matter. You always go this thing stag, right? ❞
❝ When did you forget how to enjoy yourself? ❞

Undeniable Heat Chapter 32: Revelations

Jensen Ackles x Reader

1350 Words

Story Summary: You’ve just gotten a job as one of the makeup artists on the set of Supernatural. Nervous on the first day, you become completely awkward, winning the affection of the divorced Jensen Ackles. You try to fight your desire for him, but he thwarts you at every turn. Will you be able you separate work and play, or will you let Jensen win?

Catch Up Here: Masterpost

Jensen’s P.O.V.

Mixed emotions raced through me as I stared at Danneel. Frustration, anger, and a little bit of sadness at what had been. “Danneel what are you are doing here?”

“This used to be my home too Jensen.” She purred, her tone of voice annoying me.

“Dee, you gave up this house when we got divorced. Now tell me, why are you here?” I asked, hoping I could get rid of her quickly and get back to Y/N upstairs.

“I’ve missed you so much, and you haven’t returned any of my calls. When I heard you were in Texas, I just had to come and see you.” She said, raising her hand and placing it on my chest. Once upon a time her touch would have been wanted,. But now, it did nothing for me.  would have ignited a fire deep within. But now it did nothing but annoy me.

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anonymous asked:

51 with Jeff Hardy?

Prompt: “Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”

The light shone through your thin curtains waking you up. Letting your eyes flutter open you stretch felling the arm round your waist grip tighter and a nose nuzzle into the back of your neck. Giggling you lace your fingers through Jeffs’ and gently run your finger along his tattooed knuckles. He starts peppering kisses along your shoulder, turning onto your back you place a loving kiss to his lips causing the both of you to smile.

“God I almost forgot how nice it to wake up next to you.” Smiling down at you Jeff untangled your fingers and ran his hand up and down your side.

“Mmmmm. Bed is to cold without you.” You turn and bury yourself into Jeff’s embrace, placing a few kisses to his bare chest, loving how warm he was and how his natural scent made you relax. Chuckling at your actions Jeff placed a kiss to the top of your head pulling you tighter into his embrace and the two of you lay in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Soon you could hear soft snores coming from Jeff signaling he’d gone back to sleep, he had a busy schedule at WWE so when he was home you always wanted him to rest. Jeff being Jeff would have none of that. Always insisting on making up for lost time by taking you on day trips and shopping sprees even though he was exhausted. So today no matter what he said you two were going to relax and he was going to be the one who was spoiled. Carefully you lift the arm that was around your waist up and slid out of his grasp, placing his arm gently back on the bed and pull the covers up over him. Grabbing one of his shirts you pull it over your body loving how soft it felt against your skin and the smell making it seem like Jeff was constantly with you. Heading downstairs you turn on some TV deciding to leave breakfast for a little while longer. Looking down at your phone see a message from Reby.

R - Morning sweetie ;) How are you this morning?

Y - Great! How are you guys?

R - We’re great thnx ^_^  Glad to have your man back? ;) Any plans for today? Matt and I were wondering if you too lovebirds wanted to go to the movies with us :3

Y - I think we’re gonna pass :( just spend the day in. Jeff seems pretty knackered :/

R - Oh I see “spend the day in“ ;) no problem sweetie, we are going at 7 to see the film incase you change your mind :)

Y - I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks Reb! :)

You place your phone down on the couch next to you starting to get engrossed in the current episode of the trashy show that was playing on TV. About half way through your stomach started to rumble.

“All right, Geeze I’ll make breakfast.” Picking up your phone you play some music while you get some things for breakfast. Grabbing some mushrooms, bacon and eggs you decide to cook an omlette. You were to busy dancing and singing into the spatula to notice Jeff stood in the door way, grinning like an idiot, he was so in love in love with you and you’d been together for nearly 10 years. Matt and Reby always teased him about when he was going to ask you to marry him, the truth was he wanted to marry you more than anything in the world but he was terrified of loosing you. Of course Jeff was married before you but after Jeff left the WWE shit hit the fan, he was injured and arrested so it’s no suprise when his marriage broke down, the divorce almost killed him and his ex-wife and he didn’t want that to happen to you. To him still being with you but not actually getting married would somehow be better if things did go wrong, however you lived together and as mentioned before you’d been dating for nearly 10 years, Jeff had even spoke to you about maybe having kids in the future. Of course he had explained to you why he didn’t want marriage and you fully understood that, yes it hurt a little that you wouldn’t get to have the wedding most girls dream of but at least you had Jeff and that was good enough for you.

As you spin round singing a particulary high note you see Jeff stood in the doorway, sweatpants hung low on his hips and deep in thought. Walking over to him he perks his head up and smiles at you. Wrapping your arms around his neck he snakes his arms up under the shirt to rest on your waist.

“Sorry. Did I wake you.” You ask, gently rubbing his shoulders, seeing him relax at your touch.

“No you didn’t love. Don’t worry. I did get lonley without you though.” He smiles, moving his hands to your back to pull you closer, leaning in for a kiss when your chest reaches his.

“What were ya thinking about just now?”

Jeff sighs dropping his head onto your shoulder. “Just stuff, us, the future.”

Shifting slightly you pull away looking at him concerned, bringing your hands down to rest on his chest you feel his heart racing. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Marry me?” Jeff looks up with so much hope and love in his eyes. Your heart practially stops and you feel your breath hitch in your throat.

“What?” You manage to choke out, not sure if you heard him correctly.

“Will you marry me? I know I don’t have a ring or anything but we can go pick one out together and at least you’d get one you liked. And yes I know I said I didn’t want marriage but that was before and this is now and I want you to be my wife. I want to wake up everyday and tell people ‘hey this amazing, beautiful, caring woman is my wife’. I think we should start a family together and I don’t want our kids to grow up with mom and dad not being married. I was scared of loosing you but I mean you’ve stuck with me this long and I’m scared by not marrying you I’m gonna push you away. I can’t picture a future with us together, without us being married. I’m just so in fucking love with you that I can’t keep fighting it anymore.” You practically couldn’t see Jeff throught the tears that were welling up in your eyes, it was hard to process what he had just said.

“Jeff….why now…. where are you going with this?”

“Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”Jeff nervously chuckled scratching the back of neck looking hopefully at you.

“Yes.” You manage to breath out, wiping away your tears. “Yes. I’ll marry you. Yes I’ll go crazy with you……..Yes.” His face erupted into the biggest grin you’d ever seen and it takes one long stride for him to reach you, picking you up you wrap your legs tightly around his waist as he supports your thighs with his hands. Connecting your lips you tangle your hands in his hair,  the kiss was passionate yet soft, your tounges exploring each others as if it was the first time. Pulling apart with slightly swollen lips, Jeff nuzzled his nose with yours before letting you down onto your feet, arms still wrapped around you. “I love you.” he muttered against your lips, smiled you pecked his lips once more.

“I love you too.”

“So, wanna go ring shopping today?” Jeff smilled, winking cheekily at you.

“Can we at least have breakfast first?”  Chuckling when you hear your stomach growl again.

“Sure thing princess.” Kissing the top of your head he moves past you to resume breakfast.

“Wait till Reby and Matt hear about this, they’re gonna freak.” You chuckle grabbing your phone to call them. Jeff just laughed as you come up behind him dialing Reby for a facetime.

“Hey you two! You both look aweful cheerful for this time in the moring!” she chuckled to herself getting comfy on her couch.

“Look we don’t have time for your sass Reb, go get Matt.” Jeff comments finishing off the breakfast.

“Okaayyy……. MAATTTTTTT!!!” Moving the phone slightly you shake your head at her antics. After a few minutes Matt finally appears in the frame.

“Sup guys?” You glance at Jeff as Jeff glances back at you, both of you with massive smiles plastered on your faces.

“Do you wanna tell them or me?” You ask Jeff as plates your finished breakfast and moves it to the side so he can move to stand behind you, head on your shoulder and arms wrapped around your waist.

“You can.” He smiles kissing your shoulder.

“We’re kinda getting married.” You grin at the camera, watching their faces light up.

“Oh my gosh really?!” Jeff noded his head rubbing your stomach with his thumbs.

“Congrats you two! Took you long enough buddy. What did it take? like 3 years planning?” Matt joked to his brother causing you and Reby to giggle. “I think you owe me $20 babe.” Matt spoke to Reby this time.

“Damn it!” She huffed handing the phone to Matt so she could presumably get her purse.

“You were betting on this?” Chuckling at the pair as Reby returns with the $20.

“She thought you’d be married with in 5 years, I said  you’d be married by year 10.” 

“I’m gonna kill the both of you for betting on this.” Jeff shook his head reaching for the phone. “Right guys thank you for the congrats and reminding us what terrible people you are. But we need to have breakfast and go ring shopping byyyeeeee!” Jeff didn’t give them time to answer as he hung up the call, placing your phone on the counter. Jeff grabbed you food and set the plates down on the table turnning round to see you smirking at him.

“What?”

“3 years planning huh?” You walk towards him as Jeff looks at the floor rubbing the back of his neck again.

“Well sort of…..I may or may not have said to Matt that becasue of you I was kinda reconsidering the whole marriage thing. It still terrified me but I was definatly thinking about it more and more.” Smiling at him you gently cup his jaw and pull his gaze to yours.

“Well don’t be scared love, I’m going to be with you every step of the way.” Smiling sweetly at him you pulled him in for another kiss.

“Thank you for being patient with me and for putting up with all my shit.”

“I’d do it all over again if it meant I still got you at the end.” Jeff pulled you into him and the breakfast on the table was soon forgotten about.


Prompt from this list.

Masterlist

VICTIMS OF FREE-MIXING
Umm Muhammad, a mature woman over the age of 40, tells her story.

I lived a life of modest means with my husband. There was never any closeness and harmony, and my husband did not have the kind of strong personality that a woman would hope for, but his good nature made me overlook the fact that I was the one who was responsible for most of the decision making in the family.

My husband often used to mention the name of his friend and business partner, and he would talk about him in my presence, and I often used to meet with him in his office which was originally part of our apartment. This went on for many years, until circumstances led to us exchanging visits with this person and his family. These family visits were repeated and because of his close friendship with my husband, we did not notice how the number of visits increased and how many hours a single visit would last. He often used to come on his own to sit with us, me and my husband, for long visits. My husband’s trust in him knew no bounds, and as days passed I got to know this person very well, and saw how wonderful and decent he was. I began to feel a strong attraction towards this man, and at the same time I began to sense that the feeling was mutual.

Things took a strange turn after that, when I realized that this man was the kind of person I had always dreamed about. Why had he come along now, after all these years? The more this man’s status increased in my eyes, the more my husband’s status diminished. It was as if I had needed to see the beauty of his character in order to discover how ugly my husband’s character was.

The matter between this person and myself did not go beyond these persistent thoughts which were occupying my mind night and day. Neither he nor I ever voiced what we felt in our hearts… until today. Yet despite that my life is over and my husband is little more than a weak man with no self-esteem. I hate him and I do not know how all this hatred towards him started to boil over. I wonder how I put up with him all these years, bearing all these burdens by myself, facing life’s problems on my own.

Things got so bad that I asked him for a divorce, and he divorced me at my request. After that he became a broken man. Even worse than that is that after my marriage was wrecked and my children and husband were devastated, problems arose in this man’s family. His wife, with her feminine intuition, realized what had been going on in his heart of hearts, and his life became hell. She was overwhelmed with jealousy to the extent that one night she left her house at 2 a.m. and came to attack my house, screaming, weeping and hurling accusations. His marriage was also about to collapse.

I admit that the lovely gatherings which we used to enjoy gave us the opportunity to get to know one another at a time that was not appropriate at this stage in our lives.

His marriage has been wrecked and so has mine. I have lost everything, and now I know that my circumstances and his will not permit us to take any positive step towards coming together. Now I am more miserable than I have ever been, and I am looking for illusionary happiness and lost hopes.

Tit-for-tat

Umm Ahmad tells us:

My husband had a group of married friends, and because of our close friendship with them, we used to get together with them once a week in one of our houses, to enjoy an evening of chat.

Deep down in my heart I was never really comfortable with the atmosphere in which we would have dinner, sweets, snacks and drinks of juice accompanied by waves of laughter because of the jokes and chit-chats that often went beyond the bounds of good manners.

In the name of friendship, the barriers were lifted and every now and then one would hear suppressed laughter between a woman and the husband of another woman. The jokes were too much, dealing – with no sense of shyness –with sensitive topics such as sex and women’s private matters. This was usual and was even accepted and regarded as desirable.

Although I indulged in these things along with them, my conscience made me feel guilty. Then the day came when it became quite clear just how ugly and filthy this atmosphere was.

The telephone rang, and I heard the voice of one of the friends in this group. I said hello to him and apologized that my husband was not home. He replied that he knew that, and that he was calling to speak to me! After he suggested starting a relationship with me, I got very angry and spoke harshly to him and cursed him. All he could do was laugh and say, “Don’t try and show these good manners to me; go and check on your husband’s good manners and see what he is doing…” I was devastated by what he said, but I pulled myself together and said to myself, this person is only trying to cause the break up of your marriage. But he succeeded in planting the seeds of doubt concerning my husband.

Shortly after that, the major disaster struck. I discovered that my husband was cheating on me with another woman. It was the matter of life or death as far as I was concerned. I found my husband out and I confronted him, saying: “You are not the only one who can have a relationship. I have received a similar proposition.” And I told him all about his friend. He was stunned and absolutely shocked. (I said:) “If you want me to respond in kind to your relationship with that woman, then this is for that, tit-for-tat.” This was a huge slap in the face for him. He knew that I did not intend to do that in reality, but he realized the great disaster that had befallen our lives and the immoral atmosphere in which we were living. I suffered a great deal until my husband finally left that loose woman with whom he was having a relationship, as he admitted to me. Yes, he left her and came back to his family and children, but how can I ever feel the same towards him as I used to? Who will restore respect for him in my heart? This huge wound in my heart is still bleeding out of regret and rage at that filthy atmosphere; it still bears testimony to the fact that what they call innocent get-togethers are in reality anything but innocent. My heart still begs for mercy from the Lord of Glory.

Intelligence can also be a temptation (fitnah)

‘Abd al-Fattaah says:

I work as the head of department in one of the big companies. For a long time I admired one of my female colleagues, not for her beauty, but for her serious attitude towards her work, her intelligence and her excellent achievements – in addition to the fact that she was a decent and modest person who focused only on her work. This admiration turned into attachment, and I am a married man who fears Allaah and never misses any obligatory prayer. I expressed my feelings to her and she rebuffed me. She is married and has children as well. She sees no reason why I should have any kind of relationship with her, whether it be friendship, as work colleagues or based on admiration… etc. Evil thoughts come to me sometimes, and deep down I wish that her husband would divorce her so that I could get her.

I started to put pressure on her at work and put her down in front of my bosses. Perhaps this was a form of revenge on my part, but she accepted it with good manners and did not complain or comment. She works and works; her performance speaks of her quality, and she knows this well. The more she resisted me, the stronger my infatuation grew.

I am not a person who is easily tempted by women, because I fear Allaah and I do not overstep the mark with them and go beyond what is required by my work. But this woman attracted me. What is the solution?… I do not know.

Baby ducks know how to swim

N.A.A., a nineteen-year-old girl, tells us:

At that time I was a little girl. My innocent eyes watched those evening get-togethers when family friends would meet in the house. What I remember is that I could only see one man, who was my father. I watched him as he moved about the room, how his glances would devour the women present, looking at their thighs and chests, admiring this one’s eyes, that one’s hair, the other’s hips. My poor mother had no choice but to take care of these get-togethers. She was a very simple lady.

Among the women present there was one woman who would deliberately try to attract my father’s attention, sometimes by coming close to him, and sometimes by making enticing movements. I would watch this with concern, whilst my mother was busy in the kitchen for the sake of her guests.

These gatherings stopped suddenly and I tried, young as I was, to understand and make sense of what had happened, but I could not.

What I remember was that my mother collapsed completely at that time, and she could not stand to hear my father’s name mentioned in the house. I used to hear mysterious words whispered by the adults around me: “Betrayal… bedroom… she saw them with her own eyes… despicable woman… in a very shameful position…” etc. These were the key words which only the adults could understand.

I grew up and came to understand, and I bore a grudge against all men. All of them were treacherous. My mother was a broken woman and accused every woman who came to us of being a man-snatcher who wanted to make my father fall into her trap. My father hasn’t changed. He is still practising his favourite hobby of chasing women, but now he does it outside the home. Now I am nineteen years old and I know lots of young men. I feel great pleasure in taking revenge on them, because every one of them is an exact copy of my father. I tempt them and entice them, without letting them get anywhere near me. They follow me in gatherings and in the marketplaces because of my movements and deliberate gestures. Sometimes my phone never stops ringing and I feel proud of what I do to avenge the sex of Hawwa’ and my mother. But sometimes I feel so miserable and such a failure that it almost chokes me. My life is shadowed by a huge dark cloud, and its name is my father.

Before it is too late

S.N.A. tells of her experience:

I never imagined that my work circumstances would force me to be in contact with the opposite sex (men), but this in fact is what happened…

In the beginning, I used to cover and screen myself from men by wearing niqaab (face-veil), but some of the sisters advised me that this dress was attracting more attention to my presence, and it would be better for me to take off the niqaab, especially since my eyes were somewhat attractive. So I removed the cover from my face, thinking that this was better. But by continuing to mix with my colleagues, I discovered that I was the odd one out because of my antisocial attitude and my insistence on not joining in the conversation and chatting with others. Everyone was wary of this “lone-wolf” woman (as they saw me), and this is what was stated clearly by one person who affirmed that he would not want to deal with such a snooty and stand-offish character. But I knew that I was the opposite, in fact, and I decided that I would not oppress myself and put myself in a difficult position with my colleagues. So I started to join in their chats and exchanges of anecdotes, and they all discovered that I could speak eloquently and persuasively, and that I could influence others. I could also speak in a manner that was determined yet at the same time was attractive to some of my colleagues. It was not long before I noticed some changes in the expression of my direct supervisor; with some embarrassment, he was enjoying the way I spoke and moved, and he would deliberately bring up topics in the conversation where I would see that hateful look in his eyes. I do not deny the fact that I started to entertain some thoughts about this man. I found it astonishing that a man could fall so easily into the trap of a woman who was religiously committed, so how must it be in the case of women who adorn themselves and invite men to commit immoral actions? In fact, I did not think of him in any way which went beyond the bounds of sharee’ah, but he did occupy a space in my thoughts for quite some time. But soon my self-respect made me reject the idea of being a source of enjoyment for this man in any way, shape or form, even if it was only psychological in nature, and I stopped getting involved in any kind of work that would force me to sit alone with him. In the end, I reached the following conclusions:

1- 1) Attraction between the sexes can occur in any circumstances, no matter how much men and women may deny that. The attraction may start within the bounds of sharee’ah and end up going beyond those bounds.

2) Even if a person protects himself (by marriage), he is not safe from the snares of the Shaytaan.

3) Even though a person may be able to guarantee himself and he works with the opposite sex within reasonable limits, he cannot guarantee the feelings of the other party.

4) Finally, there is nothing good in mixing and it does not bear fruit as they claim. On the contrary, it corrupts sound thinking.

We All Fall Down - Twenty

“I’ve gotta ask. If you like children so much, why did you abort my brother’s baby?”

You stared at your sister in law, wondering if you’d heard her correctly.

“What?”

“Oh don’t play dumb Y/N, Spencer told me about the abortion. Why did you do it, why did you get rid of his baby?”

“I didn’t.”

“So you’re calling my brother a liar now? You didn’t have an abortion?”

“No. I did have one, not that it is ANY of your business.” She hated you anyway, why not tell her the truth? “But it wasn’t Spencer’s baby.”

She sat wide eyed for a moment before her lips spread into a cruel smile. “So you had an affair then as well. God, you really are a bitch. How he hasn’t he divorced you yet I don’t know.”

“Well I’ve asked him to and he won’t so perhaps you should take that up with him. And you know what? I know I’m a fucking awful person, I don’t need you to tell me that. But he isn’t that much better. You think your darling twin is so perfect? What the hell was he doing sleeping with one of his students in the first place? What the hell was he doing convincing that student to marry him when all she wanted was help with a termination? He begged me to marry him Jennifer! Begged me! And I had nothing alright, I had nothing left and no one to turn to so I said yes! You’ve judged me since day one yet you know absolutely nothing about me or how I came to end up married to your brother, aside from the pretty little story he’s spun for you. And think about this? Spencer can’t have kids naturally, you all know that! How did you think I was suddenly pregnant?”

“I just… I just… I thought you’d had IVF. He told me he’d frozen samples, so I just assumed that you’d…”

“Yeah you assumed. Just like you assumed when you met me that I was the one trapping him. I heard you talking to him about me. I heard the things you said about me. You know nothing about this Jennifer, nothing. Your darling brother is not everything he makes himself out to be.”

Jennifer sat there looking shocked at your outburst and quite frankly you were too. It seemed that perhaps you were finally finding your feet again, finally finding some of your backbone that had gone missing years ago. Jennifer thought for a moment, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she finally spoke again.

“So tell me then Y/N. If I know nothing, if what Spencer has been telling me, what he’s been telling my family, is wrong, tell me the truth. Tell me YOUR truth.”

You were conflicted. On one hand, why should you tell her everything? She had you pinned down as a money grabbing, baby killing bitch already, was your story really going to change her mind? But on the other, what if it did?

So for what felt like the hundredth time in the last two week’s, you opened up. You told her pretty much everything you had told Emily and Tara, your voice cracking in some places but you remained composed. You watched her face change from curious, to perplexed, to downright confused, regret and then finally concern. For who you wondered? It seemed somewhat amusing to you that for someone who had closed them self off for years, you were now telling anyone who asked it seemed. And really, you shouldn’t have been saying half the things you were saying to your husband’s twin, but yet you were and you found that you didn’t care. Spencer clearly already hated you already, so so what if she ran and told him of your conversation, of the things you’d told her. What was he doing to do? Nothing. There was nothing else that he could do.

By the time you had finished her face was paled and she lowered her head into her arms momentarily. You waited, unsure whether she was going to blow up at you or not. Finally she spoke, looking you directly in your eyes.

“I am so sorry. Everything makes so much sense now.”

“Does it?” you asked, unsure exactly what made sense to her.

She nodded. “I never got the impression that you loved my brother. My mother told me I was wrong and to give you a chance but I knew what I sensed from you. I just…. I thought it was you that had trapped him, not the other way around.”

Wait. “So you believe me?”

“I shouldn’t, because you’re contradicting almost everything Spencer had told me. But yes, I do. How withdrawn you were at your wedding, it should have been the happiest day of your life but it was a means to an end. You married him because of what he could give you… ”

“You’re saying I used him?”

“Not in the way it sounds. Y/N, I know how persuasive my brother can be when he wants something, he offered you security for you and your baby. And if everything you’re saying about your family is true, and considering no one from your side of the family was at the wedding so I have no reason to doubt that, then…. well I know many people that if they were in the same position, they would have done the same thing.”

You couldn’t quite believe how easily she was accepting this all and how she wasn’t turning into a screaming banshee. Had she heard it all correctly?

“Jennifer, I had an affair. I cheated on your brother.” If anything was going to rile her back up, it was that.

Except, she just shrugged. “You had an affair with the man who broke your heart when you were 19. The man that pretty much pushed you into Spencer’s arms. Pretty stupid yes, but heartbreak does stupid things to people. And…. you probably did the right thing in terms of ending that pregnancy too.”

You were dumbfounded, unable to understand the complete 180 in her attitude towards you.

“I terminated that pregnancy out of spite. Derek didn’t want me, he just wanted the baby and I didn’t want Spencer to have it, to hold it over me forever.” Your voice was cruel and it was almost like you wanted her to hate you still.

“No you didn’t Y/N.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. “Yes I did!”

“No. You didn’t. Nobody as good with kids as you are would end a pregnancy out of spite. With everything you’ve just confessed to me, it’s quite clear that you ended it because you didn’t want to raise a child in what would inevitably be an unhappy home. You didn’t want to put a child though the same sort of heartache you went through.”

Her voice was soft and her words hit somewhere deep inside of you and without even realising it, you began to sob. Huge, racking sobs that left your throat raw and your eyes puffy. You don’t know how long you cried for but what you do know is that Jennifer Joy LaMontagne, the sister in law that up until today had hated you, moved from her seat and wrapped her arms around you, smoothing your hair and whispering soothing words to you, exactly how you imagined she would do to Henry.

When you were finished, you pulled away from her embarrassed and she sensed it, moving to the counter and pouring you a glass of water. You gulped it down thirstily, not meeting her eyes.

“I’ve got a good mind to go and have a long chat with my brother.”

“No! Jennifer, please…”

She sat back down at the table, not responding to your plea but asking a question. “Are you sure you’re okay with Tara and Emily?”

You nodded, praying she wasn’t going to suggest you come here instead. Luckily, she didn’t. You suddenly had a thought, a question you wondered if she could answer for you.

“Jennifer, do you know what was in that shoebox? What was so important to him? I know it was letters to your dad, but I don’t know what about.”

She shook her head sadly. “I wish I did. Spencer was… he was a lot closer to our dad than I was. I know my father loved me and I loved him dearly, but he and Spencer just seemed to have this extra special bond that wasn’t there for me. Maybe it was the creativity thing, the writer genes. But then, I’m closer to mom so it never really bothered me that much. If I knew what was in there that caused such a reaction, I’d tell you, I honestly would.”

You sat in contemplative silence for a few minutes before you glanced up at the time, realising how late it was. Your sister in law followed your eyes, jolting with surprise herself.

“I should get some dinner on the go and check on Henry. Do you…. would you like to stay?”

You thanked her but told her no. You wanted to get back to Tara and Emily’s. She asked if you’d be available tomorrow if it wasn’t too much trouble to watch Henry again. She didn’t want to send him to school with a tummy bug, just in case. You assured her it was fine, agreeing on a time for you to be there with her walking you to the door.

“I am really sorry for how I’ve treated you Y/N. It was really uncalled for, especially the remarks I made at dinner the other night. And for what it’s worth, I hope you and my brother can somehow work things out. I know my mother really likes you, as do Will and Henry. And I think that maybe…. maybe now I’m not acting as the wicked sister in law, maybe we could be friends too.”

“Thanks Jennifer. That would be nice.”

“Please… Call me JJ.”

After an extremely long conversation with her husband, where some harsh words were exchanged but ultimately she understood why he hadn’t said anything to her and had forgiven him, JJ found herself taking a longer than normal lunch break and taking a trip to the university campus where her brother worked. Spencer looked extremely suprised to find his twin sitting in his office when his classes ended.

“JJ!” he frowned when her saw that she did not look happy. “Is something wrong?”

“Not with me, no. You however, you my darling brother, are a different kettle of fish altogether.”

“Huh?”

“You need to sort your sham of a marriage out.”

He looked affronted, his eyes darting quickly around the room.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You can fool mom, Spencer. You even had me fooled. Buuut, Henry is ill. And you know who I had to call yesterday to help me out?”

Spencer closed his eyes slowly and opened them again, knowing exactly who she was going to say.

“Y/N.”

“Yup, that’s right. And we had quite the heart the heart. How dare you Spencer! How dare you make me believe that that girl aborted your baby?”

“I…. I….”

“Don’t even try Spence. She told me everything. From how you met, from her asking you for the money for a termination and you begging her, pleading with her for her to marry you. She told me about the affair as well and while yes, she’s less than innocent there I can understand why she did it. She told me she asked you for a divorce to and you refused. Why? You two clearly aren’t compatible? Let her go.”

“I can’t! I can’t alright!” Spencer threw his hands up in the air before slumping down into his chair.

“Why not? If she wants it….”

“I still love her okay! And I don’t want a divorce, I don’t want to have a failed marriage under my belt, especially not when I can’t have children naturally with anyone else.”

JJ shook her head in despair. “She doesn’t love you, you know that right?”

“Of course I know that. I’ve known that since I met her and she reminds me often enough. It doesn’t matter though, she’s everything I wanted in a wife, or at least she was. But I’m not throwing that away yet.”

“Yet you threw her out? What was in the box Spencer? What was so important to you that you threw out the woman you claim to love so much?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” Jennifer implored of her brother, unable to see where his head was at right now, unable to see where it had been for all these years. She thought she knew him but she was beginning to doubt herself.

“I… I can’t. No. I can’t… I won’t tell you.”

“Then tell her. You claim to love her but your words clearly say to me that you just don’t want to start over again.” Spencer went to protest but she held up her hand, continuing. “But if you really do think that you’re still in love with her, and you really so want to save this, tell her what it was. Beg her forgiveness, and fix this mess you’ve created for yourself one way or another. And if you can’t fix it, let her go.”

“If she really wanted to leave, she could leave. She’s halfway there anyway, she’s out of the house and she’s not taking my calls or my messages.”

“You threw her out remember! And she can’t divorce you, how the hell would she pay for the lawyers, although at the minute I’ve got a half a mind to give her the money myself.”

Spencer narrowed his eyes at his twin. “You wouldn’t.”

“You don’t know me as well you think you do just like I clearly don’t know you as well as I thought I did.”

His jaw dropped and he looked momentarily concerned. “You…. JJ, you wouldn’t. I’m your brother.”

“And you’re stuck in a marriage that is toxic for the both of you, why can’t you see that!!! Either fix your marriage, or end it permanently and give the girl her freedom. Or I will help her, and that will cause a rift between me and you. And do you really think mom needs that??? Her two children, the only thing she has left, no longer speaking to each other? Do you really think mom needs to know everything Y/N told me? Everything Will told me…. about Elle Greenaway, about dad covering your mistakes up at the college?”

Spencer’s eyes widened as his twin sister who had always, always had his back, walked to the door, turning back to look at him like he was stranger.

“Fix it.”

3

What A Difference A Few Hours Makes

The pictures above were all taken on Tuesday. I was feeling great after recently seeing my girlfriends on Sunday and having a blast at a friend’s going away party. My work was going well and I was also looking forward to spending time in the evening with some friends. We went out to Mod Pizza and I had my favorite gluten free and dairy free pizza. Then, we all saw Ingrid Goes West starring Aubrey Plaza (I freaking love her). I was wearing a dress I had been meaning to wear for a long time and I felt very confident in it. 

Move ahead to much later in the evening and I am unable to sleep and bawling my eyes out into nearly a full box of tissues. What was wrong? Well, it all has to do with stress building up that I had not really had a chance to process. 

I spent part of the same afternoon walking the halls at the office in that wonderful dress while trying to talk with the surgeon’s office regarding my surgery. There were people walking by every now and then and I was trying to be discreet about what they were hearing.. eventually I did find a conference room to sort something out with the Surgeon’s office staff. It is was so stressful. If I wasn’t asking the right questions.. they would have royally screwed something up. Thankfully I cleared up the issue and things are back on track. I just wanted to cry right then and there, but of course it was the middle of the work afternoon so I just put on a brave face and went about my day. The dinner and movie were great and I felt a lot better. I came home though to some paperwork I had to fill out for my surgery date to be set in stone. It was a very detailed list of risks, possible permanent damage and of course possible death that I needed to initial and sign to cover the surgeon’s butt in case of a bad outcome. 

It is terrifying. It is not the first time I have been over this list of risks. This has all been carefully considered and discussed multiple times with professional consultation. It was simply time to let the stress of it all out. I am scared. I am horribly scared. I am healthier and happier than I have ever been in my life and I am in a matter of a few short months going to subject myself to something that could alter my life in horrible ways.. and yet.. there is simply no possible way that I will be turning away from this decision. That is why I was crying so hard.. the fact that for me there really is no choice. Knowing that so definitively and with so much conviction just brought back years upon years of pain as I reminded myself why I KNOW this is what I must do. 

As I was weeping, I was crying for my kids in the unlikely event that I am no longer here in 3 months due to possible complications from the surgery. I was crying for all that my kids had been through as a result of a divorce I did not want. I was crying for all that I had been through in the past 4 years. I was crying for all of you out there that have faced this same thing or actually HOPE to get to this point someday. I was crying because I knew that on Thursday (now tomorrow) that I need to go for yet another 4 hour electrolysis appointment for surgery prep. This is a repeat appointment and the last one subjected me to 22 shots in my groin area, all so that the electrolysis could proceed quickly and painlessly. That alone is amazingly scary and difficult to prepare for, yet I will get in my car tomorrow and drive myself there and then drive myself home to care for myself when it is complete. 

I am tired. My eyes are still puffy a day later and I want to only rest. I want to curl up next to someone that loves me and just makes all of the pain and stress go away, but I am facing this mostly on my own. Friends and family can try to understand and offer sympathy, but only you out there.. my transgender friends know what this truly feels like.. the voluntary walk toward certain pain and certain torture all for the hope of finally being free to be who we are in mind and fully in body(well as near as we can get). 

So.. please forgive me as I take this moment to share my pain, stress, and my fear, as I let the what-ifs take me out of commission for a brief period. However, I plan to continue to show you all how this pain, this battle, is so worth fighting.. and how the fear can be conquered and the pain can be minimized into non-existence.

I will be okay. I am Ariana Danielle Wojcik and soon my body will finally more properly house my soul. 

-Ari

p.s. please continue to distribute my earlier post about raising money to help cover the cost of my surgery.. here is the link.. 

http://ariana-tg.tumblr.com/post/164346028861/ariana-tg-08-18-2017-ari-is-asking-for-some

factori0  asked:

Since you are obviously liberal. why not conservative? its only the right think, as a true conservative i belive that NO ONE should have ANY head starts, ANY privileges in life. and that EVERYONE should work towards their goals, getting what they derserved. Feminism is outdated, and has been ever since women got the right to vote. so, why are you liberal?

since you are obviously conservative, why not liberal?

something you don’t seem to understand is that people ARE automatically born with privilege and head starts. to find out how privileged someone is you could ask this like: are you white? are you male? are you born in a first or third world country? what is your parents income? what is your income? are you parents divorced? did your parents go to college? all of these have play in how privileged someone is, and they affect us sometimes before we’re old enough to make own or choices and even be born.

I’m liberal and feminist because things aren’t this way: because privilege exists and because not everyone has equal opportunity and I want them to. You want them to be equal, you want everyone to have the same chance, but what are you doing about it? (And honestly, a lot of conservatives I’ve met don’t even think that way.)

the way you talk, that everyone should get to meet their goals and no one should have any head starts sounds like you want equality which is what feminism is. you know you can be conservative and feminist? and are you even considering the issues in third world countries?

I’m not strictly conservative (although I live in a conservative town in the south) because I don’t agree with a lot of conservative beliefs, and because I’ve been around conservative people all my life. their ideals, the way they speak and think, isn’t something I can agree with. It’s just my opinion. It doesn’t help that you said it’s “the only right think”: just because you like it doesn’t mean it’s right. That’s something y'all have to understand. Thinking you’re correct because of a label is as annoying as it is ignorant.

I don’t care that you’re conservative, you’re entitled to that, and I can respect that until you give reason not to. But I’m not, and that should be respected as well until given a reason not to.

have a good day :)

6

Do people ever put any actual thought into shit like this?
Here, let me break it down:

Opening doors for another person is just the polite thing to do. I open and hold doors for grown ass men all of the time because it’s called being considerate.
Hold the bags? What does this even mean? You mean like when your wife is shopping and you’re just there to “hold the bags”? Because I’ve actually never seen that anywhere but in a movie where they are portraying stereotypes.
Give up your seat? So you won’t give up your seat to a pregnant or elderly woman to stick it to the feminists? I’ve often given my seat up to elderly men and women, pregnant women, or just another young adult of any sex because, like everything else, it is considerate. If someone has been standing for a while and I’ve been sitting, I will always offer my chair. It’s polite. That’s it.

Free drinks are always offered by men in the hopes of getting laid, and sex is almost always expected. And if the woman doesn’t go home with the man after he bought her free drinks?
“What do you mean ‘I really appreciate the drinks. That was sweet of you, but I’m sorry, I’m not going home with you’? Why did I spend all that money buying you drinks? Just because I wanted to get to know you? Pffft.”

“I don’t get free entry”
Once again, the whole ‘women get in free’ thing is always done to then attract horny men to pay to get into said place in the hopes that at least one of the women will get drunk off ALL THOSE free drinks and sleep with his pathetic ass.

And before I hear anyone yell “there are women only nights at clubs! Where are the men only nights?!!” Remember this: a lot of women go out solely to have fun with their friends. They don’t want to get hit on and/or harassed by drunk, horny men. And so a club with only women is a safe spot to get drunk, have fun, and not worry about getting hit on or fear the possibility of being sexually assaulted. They can let their guards down and just have fun. Now, ask yourself, when is the last time a straight guy wanted to be at a club with only other straight men? The words “sausage fest” comes to mind. One privilege of being a man is not having to worry about getting drunk, letting their guard down, and getting raped. I AM NOT SAYING A MAN HAS NEVER BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. But how many times has a man been pulled into a dark ally late at night, held down, and raped by a strange woman? I am sorry (but also not sorry, because it is a GOOD thing) to say I don’t think that type of rape has never happened to a man. So, a girl’s only night at a club but no boys only night at a club is ultimately the fault of men. Deal with it. And if you want clubs to have men only nights, work to change it!

“I don’t get sympathy.”
Bahahaha. What the hell? First of all, what the hell do you mean?? What is the context here? Do you honestly think only women receive sympathy? I’m so confused.

Huh?
“She must have one gaping vagina, the slut!”
“Ew that vagina looks like an open face roast beef sandwich!”
“It was like throwing a hot dog down a tunnel!”
“Damn, her pussy was so tight!”
“I want that tight pussy of yours so bad, ma.”

I could go on and on and on.

Once again, this is all because of other men. Men are expected to be masculine and adhere to certain styles that aren’t 'feminine". This is exactly one of the things feminists fight for.
Men, you wanna wear heels? Wear them. Rock them. If they make you feel hot, throw them on and then dig that heel into the temple of any man or woman who calls you less of a man for wearing them.
I have pretty large feet due to my height, so we can even share cute shoes! And I won’t think you any less of a man.

Again, with the makeup. It’s only because society (mostly men) call it unmanly. But feminists say, my dude, you wanna contour your face and rock a nice shade of lipstick? I’ll shoot you some tutorials and tell you how badass you look afterwards. It. Doesn’t. Make. You. Any. Less. Of. A. Man.
And while you’re at it, gimme some tips. Cause I suck at doing my makeup. That’s why I rarely wear anything more than eyeliner and mascara.

Stupid men can’t be blond? What does that mean? Are you saying a man can’t be stupid and get away with it because he’s blond??? Since when can women get away with that ridiculous stereotype? It’s 2016. We know hair color has Jack shit to do with intelligence. If a woman is blond and can get away with being stupid, it’s because a lot of men are attracted to the ditzy, sexy, blond. That’s one large reason women, Marilyn Monroe to name one iconic one, dye(d) their hair blond and act like idiots even though they are actually very smart. They are afraid men don’t like smart women. And most of the media proves that many men don’t. (Once again, think Marilyn Monroe)

“When you slapped me I was wrong”
No, I was wrong because no one should be slapping anyone unless in self defense.
“When I slapped you I had anger issues”
Possibly you do have anger issues. Who knows? But once again, it is wrong because no one should be hitting anyone else unless you are in fear for your safety and need to try to protect yourself.

Well, if she had worked and had a salary and you are getting divorced she is entitled to half because it was a fifty fifty income no matter why you are divorcing. Other than that, there is such a thing as a prenup.
Now, let’s all think of all the cases where the man cheated on or was beating the woman and she decided she wanted a divorce and the judge ruled in favor of the man and gave the man everything? I personally know two women who got married, did the stay at home mom thing while he worked, found out he was having an affair (the other one she was being mentally abused by him and finally had enough), filed for divorce, and he walked away with everything while the women and their children moved in with their mother (the other with her sister and her husband and daughter).

Feminism addresses all of these things. Feminism is not just fighting for women’s rights. It is fighting against the patriarchy, a patriarchy which also harms men. We are constantly addressing those issues. But all the manplaining and MRA bullshit doesn’t look at that. They just see men being “attacked” and immediately start complaining.

Found these gems on Facebook. Lots of men sharing them thinking they are sticking it to us crazy feminists!!
(By the way, everyone who has Twitter should @ these to all the actors in these images, since we all know the person who photoshopped these did not have permission to use these images for something I know for a fact none of these men stand for. So, everyone, please send these images to these actors Twitter’s)
But this just makes me laugh/want to cry. No thought went into this. Men are really grasping at straws here.