Nothing tortures my brain like wondering why gary johnson stuck his tongue out in that one interview like why did he do that? was he fucked up? did he lose a bet? did he get threatened? was a sniper watching him afar waiting to shoot him if he did not stick his tongue out? did his tongue get bit by an invisible bee and the only cure was to stick it out mid-interview? was there even a reason? this will always haunt me
I just had a dream that I met Keith’s voice actor in the toy section of a Walmart, but his VA was actually Shia LaBeouf. I asked Shia what Lotor’s canon appearance was and he slipped me a photo of Orochimaru with purple skin and I screamed.
— my father sent me to court, I wept and Jaime raged, until my aunt sat me down in the Stone Garden and told me there was no one in King’s Landing that I need ever fear. ‘You are a lioness’ she said, ‘and it is for all the lesser beasts to fear you.’
haha, silly pokemon anime, Lillie wouldn't be afriad of touching a pokemo-
The anime takes place in an AU where Lillie was caught stealing Nebby. Lusamine punished her and then sent her to school where she could keep an eye on her. Every time Lillie gets touched by a pokemon she remembers the night she was caught.
Okay, so this is particular entry is a Valentine’s Day special… that’s over a week late. Deal with it, inspiration for the most awkward scenario only struck yesterday after talking to both @animatedsuperchick19 (who suggested the game they are playing) and @mr-hawkmoth (who talked me into this being an Adrien Diaries/Aftermath Addendums). Blame them for sunshine boy’s suffering.
Now, this has an Aftermath Addendums coming, as well as ANOTHER Adrien Diaries Entry… Although if ya’ll are hoping to get poor Mari’s POV anytime soon, keep waiting XD
maybe it’s because I have absolutely nothing in common with any of you and then when I do actually come downstairs and talk about something I’m passionate about you clearly couldn’t give a single fuck judging by the looks on your faces and let’s be honest, you never try to include me in any of your conversations because we all know you couldn’t care less about my opinion and we all know that if I did come out of my room id just watch YouTube videos on my phone and then you’d have a go me for being unsociable
My name is Maël, I am 22 years old, I would be 23 years old in July.
I am FTM socially, non binary, deep inside me I do not recognize myself in the gender stereotypes of men and women, so I have no gender.
I did my coming out trans at 14 years old, during my teens being trans was not easy, but I felt that I had another problem, that besides being transgender, my brain functioned in a very strange way for others.
I learned two years ago that I am Asperger, it is a form of autism. The word autism can be frightening, but since I know, it is a kind of liberation, I know why my brain has a certain way of functioning that is very often misunderstood by the people around me, and why all too often I do not understand the world around me.
Today I have been on testosterone for more than 4 years, I had a top surgery and a hysterectomy, I judge my medical transition finished.
No I don’t want to do any operation at the level of my genitals, I am happy like that, I am finally happy, I knew in time to find happiness in my transidentity, in autism, in the fact that I have no gender. All these differences I managed to extract the best, instead of being ashamed.
No matter how you live your transition, no matter if you want to do this or that operation, no matter what genre you identify with, Nobody knows better than you who you are, live who you are in the depths of you and show it to the world.
The brain is an interesting thing. As someone with borderline personality disorder and major depressive disorder, I find it an interesting phenomenon that the same brain that keeps me sad, makes me feel terrible, suddenly burdens me with intrusive thoughts, makes me suicidal, is the same brain thats also trying to save me. Or itself?
When I went to the hospital the second time it was because I was so disregulated that I WAS going to kill myself BUT instead of doing that, I called my therapist and she urged me to go to the ER. Why did I go? I wanted to save my life, but some other part of my brain wanted me to end my life. And thats a paradox Ill never understand. Its the same organ. How does it do that at the same time???
Sometimes I think brains are their own entity. Like we think were people, or animals, or invertebrates, but really, the body of each one, (any organism with a brain) is just a vessel *for* the brain. And our bodies are just an extension of that, to make it able to do things. Sometimes I think about it like were jellyfish, and our brains are the big round part on top, and our limbs are just the floaty extensions of that. Carrying out its wishes. Sending pulses of neuronal firing to raise a hand, or speak a language it learned.
But it doesnt work that way exactly. People with mental illnesses have actual biological changes in their brains. In *our* brains, I should say. Those of us with mental illnesses and personality disorders. There are neurochemical imbalances that can form genetically, or by stress induced factors. You know, people tell you that your childhood has a lot to do with how you turn out and what kinda shit youll end up with. And theyll say its because of bad memories. But thats not the whole story.
When youre a child, your brain is still developing, and if youre neglected, or abused, or constantly invalidated by your parents or whomever… every bad thing (and good thing btw) has an effect on how a childs brain grows. What neurochemicals it produces and how much. Its an actual physiological change. And when you stop growing, youre left with what youre left with. For example, if you grew up in a household where there was a lot of fighting, your amydala will fire more than the average person youre going to have an anxiety issue. Medication and therapy are all you can do to stop it.
But still. Its your brain thats imbalanced and disregulated, and its your brain that fucks itself up but also tries to fix itself with meds and therapy. And how its able to do both is a fascinating mystery to me.