why did i make this piece of shit

me: *wants to socialize, make friends, and stop isolating myself in general*


me: ok nvm I guess

One maladaptive coping mechanism that turns very toxic when you’re not defending against abuse is to read any uncomfortable situation as a deliberate personal attack, and sometimes extrapolate one incident into a whole pattern of malicious intent.


  • “Hey, I have a headache, could you please lower your voice a little?”
    - “FINE I guess I just won’t say anything at all!”

  • “Hey thanks for inviting me, but I’m not feeling well, so I’m sorry but I can’t make it. Maybe (x day) instead?”
    - “Sorry for asking! I guess I’m just too needy for you!”

  • (Someone forgets to call you back.)
    - “Yeah I don’t think we’re friends anymore, she acts like she hates me.”

  • “Hey, what you just said about me was literally not true. Why did you say that?”
    - “Right, I’m just a piece of shit who should never talk at all I guess!”

  • "I don’t really feel like sex tonight.”
    - “Sorry I’m so repulsive to you!”

  • “You really hurt my feelings. Why did you do that?”
    - ”Go ahead and just break up with me, I know you’ve been wanting to.”

This kind of response escalates an interaction from a two-way conversation about a specific problem into a fight about your own self-worth. Instead of reponding to what’s actually happening or interrogating whether an attack was intended, this response immediately changes the conversation into a defensive argument where the only relevant question is if you’re an okay person that people care about.

Like I get feeling this kind of reaction, I get having a knee-jerk response of fear and shame and self-loathing. Sometimes when you’re feeling vulnerable it is very, very difficult not to read super far into anything negative. Sometimes it just reflects off all your internal fears and amplifies inside of you until a polite “no” feels like everyone you’ve ever liked is telling you they hate you.

But it is possible, with some work, to separate your feelings from your actual knowledge of the situation. It’s possible to feel one thing in your heart and still recognize with your mind that the reality is different. You can learn to notice the difference between someone actually attacking you and something just feeling like an attack because you’re extra vulnerable.

You can also learn not to react based solely on your feelings. You can learn to take another person’s actual words and actions into account and respond based on what you think - not just feel - their intent actually was. That work is as necessary as it is difficult.  

People need to be able to tell you things that aren’t overwhelmingly positive without you making them feel guilty for saying anything and treating their concerns as an attack.

Otherwise, you wind up in a position where they can’t be honest with you. They can’t say no to you, can’t tell you when something you do hurts or scares them, can’t point out worrying things as friends do to take care of each other, can’t bring up their own needs without the conversation devolving into comforting you again.

This habit interacts especially badly with the way many other trauma survivors are terrified of upsetting anyone – when your reaction to them bringing up problems or saying no is consistently disproportionate, they may find it easier to just do what you want even against their own will.

It is possible to deal with those awful feelings and get the comfort you need without resorting to lashing out when you feel bad. It’s okay to be honest about the fact your emotions don’t always line up with reality so people know what you’re going through. It’s okay to just ask for the emotional support you need or for confirmation that they mean what they say.

You may even find that when you make a continuous effort not to treat these uncomfortable experiences as crises, they deescalate and you wind up feeling more secure each time.

Look, this coping mechanism, like many forms of manipulation, is a useful survival tool in the context of an abusive relationship where you really are being attacked insidiously, and where you can’t just ask for comfort and expect to get it. But if you are no longer in that kind of situation, it’s time to reevaluate the usefulness/danger ratio and figure out what other strategies might be better for you and the people you love.

Do y'all ever just take a second and think about how weird eating disorders are? Bc there’s obviously that whole thing about how “it’s more than food” but like. Why food. How the hell did I latch onto THIS of all things to cope. Wtf. Oh so I feel like a lazy piece of shit that’ll never make anything of myself? You know what would make that better!?!?!??? OBSESSIVELY COUNTING THE CALORIES IN A SINGLE EGG WHITE AND A CUP OF SPINACH OF COURSE. Seriously what the fuck. I could have latched onto literally anything, but what do I choose? Fuckin breakfast? Let me reiterate: what THE fuck. Wtf the fuck. What tf in the hell.

of gods & monsters

mostly written half a year ago, poems about eros & apollo. inspired by sunblind, written by the amazing @ibuzoo / @rmeisel <3, companion piece to observations on sunblinded boys (psyche & icarus)


2:31 a.m, Apollo said: why did you make me notice him? why did you make me fall?
2:31 a.m, Eros said: it’s payback
2:33 a.m, Apollo said: I see how it is. I should have known- this has your dirty little fingerprints all over. Daphne, Hyacinthus, now him. haven’t you learned you will never belong in the world of gods like me? get the fuck out of my life, you fucking piece of shit. I didn’t do anything to you this time. so why did you do it? why?
2:34 a.m, Eros said: you told her I am a monster
2:35 a.m, Apollo said: I told her the truth 

3:02 a.m, Apollo said: fuck you
3:03 a.m, Apollo said: fuck you so much 

Keep reading

So I’ve noticed something recently among tumblr users, especially who I assume are young. (I hope anyway.) And it’s basically boiled down to forgiveness and redemption are impossible.

Now before I get into it this isn’t directed at a single event, person, or action or anything like that, it’s just something I’ve seem multiple times over the past year on this hellsite. I haven’t been here very long in comparison to a lot of people. But I keep seeing these scenarios:

“___ did this once so they’re a hypocrite if they say ___ can’t do ___ because they did it too!”

“Just because ___ said sorry for ___ doesn’t mean they aren’t a complete piece of shit.”

“___ is horrible and you shouldn’t like them because they ___! Just because they’re trying to be a better person doesn’t mean they’re anything more than what they were!”

It’s… honestly kind of worrying. If you really think that no one’s apology or actions mean anything, how can anyone ever become a better person? Once you make a mistake you’re doomed to be terrible forever with no way to prove yourself otherwise or to right what you’ve wronged.

Obviously there are exceptions to this, especially when it comes into more personal territory like forgiving family or friends. I’m not saying that you should forgive everyone, but I do think that you should at least acknowledge when someone is trying to become a better person, or says they’re sorry for doing something wrong.

And acknowledging someone’s apology or attempts to become a better person is not the same as accepting it.

Acknowledging it is like looking at it and saying: “I see that you’re sorry and that you’re trying to be better, but I can’t trust you. I wish you the best on the path you’re taking now, and proud that you’re making efforts to change yourself, but I’m going to put distance between us.”

Accepting it is like: “I take your apology to heart, and I’m glad you said it. I’m willing to give you another chance at becoming a better person, and I’m going to be here with you along the way.”

I think why seeing this trend bothers me so much is because I was that asshole.

Now a lot of you don’t know what I was like when I was younger and I’m glad for that, but basically all you really need to know is that I come from 4chan. I was your typical troll. I made people’s daily lives worse for the fun of it. I liked doing it. There’s honestly no other way to put it. I was a jerk and I had fun being a jerk. I was racist and sexist and anti-Semitic. I was your typical 4chan piece of shit of the early 2000’s.

There are plenty of reasons why I did what I did. Coping with depression, trying to fit in, etc. But that doesn’t excuse from them, and there’s really no possible way for me to go back and apologize for every little remark I made, or every person’s day I ruined. The only way I can prove I’m better than that, that I can change, is through my actions, and to apologize whenever I happen to slip up from here on out.

But the fact that I was once a piece of shit human being, to some people, means I’m unforgivable and past redemption, and nothing I ever do will make up for what I’ve done in the past.

And when someone thinks that, or worse, verbally says it to someone who might not be as resolved to becoming a better person as I am, it can set that person right back to how they were, and you’ve lost what might have been a friend or ally, or someone who could do good in the world if someone had just given them a chance. And in doing so the only thing you have accomplished is helping the world burn.

Try Not To (Jungkook x Reader Fluff/Slight Smut)

Summary: “Try not to get nervous.”

(( Note: another story for the youngest member who stands on top. In this one I more so like the bickering than the actual ‘fluff’ or ‘smut’ which is so so so mild I warn you. So, idk about this one at all :(( Either way, I hope you all enoy! ))

Could you have taken any longer, holy fuck.

It was a far late into a chilly Sunday night and you were standing outside your friend’s door clutching your tote bag against your chest and curling your toes against the rubber soles of your not-so-appropriate flip flops you when sporting. A combination of that plus a thin cardigan and pajama shorts were definitely not the greatest outfit choice when in this close-to-frozen mid-February weather. In your defense, it wouldn’t have been as horrifyingly cold as it was if it weren’t for Jeon Jungkook who took his sweet as time answering the door.

Fifteen minutes to be exact.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you have anything more for the ferret au or are you all dried up?

rgdfdfhdf why are you making me sound like i’m a washed up has-been…… i have a life 2 live u know

  • Lotor is Keith’s piece of shit lab partner and one time he came over to Keith’s house because of an assignment and, well. The ferret does not like Lotor.
    • Lotor: I’m reporting you and your disgusting vermin to the police!!
    • Keith: Long Boy bit you because you were rooting around in my room, so like. Your move, jackass.
  • Long Boy is thereafter named ‘Best Boy.’
  • Bye did you guys know that there’s a thing called a “happy weasel war dance”?? It’s when a ferret starts bouncing around, dancing, and jumping up and down because it wants you to play with it. I love ferrets sfm oh my god!!!
    • Lance: Awwww…. what’s the little devil doing, Keith?
    • Keith: Oh, that? That’s their happy weasel war dance :)
    • Lance: … Their what?
  • Keith: I think the Ferret is cool and all, but I’m not really attached to them. 
    Pidge: You literally have spent hundreds of dollars on all these ferret toys. You’re completely broke.
    Keith: (casually takes a bite of his dirt cheap ramen) Idk what you’re talking about??
  • In the Good Ending of this au, it turns out that the ferret belongs to one of Keith’s neighbors who eventually moves out and leaves the ferret with Keith for x reason. Keith names them Red and it’s nice.
  • In the True Ending, the ferret just straight up disappears one day. Keith waits for them to show up, but there’s no trace of the ferret. The only evidence of their existence at all is the toys in Keith’s apartment and the selfies they took together. Eventually, he accepts that the ferret is never coming back, and things return to normal. Time passes, but Keith never forgets that ferret.
    • Decades later, stories begin to spring up about a gravestone and the ferret that frequently stops by to visit it. Nobody’s ever managed to catch it, though…
Listed ∾ m.dl.c

Originally posted by raquel-lostgirl

posted 4/25/17

request? yes
    I LOVE YOUR MONTY IMAGINES!!! Can you please write and emotional Monty x reader, it would mean so much!


“ Can you do a SAD Monty x reader imagine! Thank you!!!


“ REQUEST! Can you write a sad Monty x reader imagine?

pairing(s): montgomery x baker!reader , hannah x sister!reader

warning(s): um, sad? mentions of hannah’s death, and a suicidal thought

a/n: 2/3 requests are from my other blog so enjoy !
+ i’m not sure if this as sad as you guys expected, but i tried so it’s the thought that counts
++ please know that my inbox & messages are always open if you need someone to talk to. trust me, i know what it’s like to feel alone and think that there’s no one to talk to, but please just keep in mind that i’m always here and that i’m more than willing to talk to you if you need help. xx

words: 1049

Keep reading

percussion during a slow piece
  • percussion instructor: *sitting there fuming*
  • snare: "what's that? did I turn the snare off- of course I turned the snare off, why would I forget to d- shIT I left the snare on-"
  • bass drum: I wonder if I held that pause on that rest on for long enough? I don't think the 42 bars of rest really prepared me for that moment so forgive me if I'm mistaken
  • auxiliary percussion: "must. not. touch them until it's time... ten bars to go-- whO BREATHED ON THE WIND CHIMES-"
  • triangle: how am I expected to make a dynamic contrast who do you think am are
  • suspended cymbal: ssssssshhhHHHHHHHINGG oh wait that was supposed to be pp
  • glockenspiel: alright, I've got a pretty good part here, maybe it's the tune, not much else going on s--crap everyone heard me mess up time to die
  • vibraphone: "what's that? did I turn the brakes- of course I turned the brakes on, I'm using the pedal! why would I forget to t- shIT I'm sliding forwards-"
  • drumkit: *rocking backwards and forwards in a corner*
  • timpani: ppp? I think I'll just blow on the drum, don't worry my 73 bars of rest will give me time to take a nice deep breath

I saw this post and had feelings.

“What’re you doin’?” Bucky asked as Natasha stopped to take a picture of a giant tree, leaves orange-going-on-red. He would have bitched at her for blowing their cover but it actually helped with their tourist personas.

Natasha glanced at him, unimpressed, then turned back to line up the perfect shot. “Don’t pretend you don’t know.”

“I’m not pretending. I don’t know.”

“That’s sad,” Natasha said, pulling her phone back to her chest to tap on the screen with her thumbs. “You make me sad.”

Bucky took a moment to be jealous at how fast she could type. His metal thumb didn’t register on his screen. “That’s not new.”

“I’m going to show you the greatest thing you will ever see,” Natasha informed him, then thrust her phone in his face.

He frowned, confused, when he saw the picture of the tree again. It was a nice picture, he supposed. He’d seen better. Underneath it was the text ‘look at this tree.’ The confusion didn’t leave. He jumped a little when her phone vibrated in her hand.

✨Tony✨: It’s beautiful, just like you! I’m going into a meeting so I won’t be able to answer very quickly but don’t let that stop you!

Bucky stared at it for a moment. “…Why does he get sparkle emoji and I get grinning shit?”

“Because I think you’re a piece of shit.” Natasha pulled her phone back to read the message and smiled slightly. “One time I was pissed off and told him I wanted to kill someone and he texted me back that if I was in prison, he couldn’t take me out for delicate patisseries anymore.” She stared into the distance. “The idea of going without fig tartlets frightened me.”

“America has changed you and I’m not sure I like it,” Bucky declared even as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders to throw off a couple of agents that were peering at them suspiciously. “What’s a tartlet?”

“I’m going to buy a dozen and eat them all in front of you without offering you a single bite,” Natasha replied, holding her phone up. “Couples still take selfies, right?”

Bucky stared at the phone impassively. “What’s with people and selfies?”

“You’re a stick in the mud. At least Steve was a good kisser,” Natasha complained, texting the picture to Tony as the brunet sputtered in disbelief and confusion.

✨Tony✨: Tell Buck-o to turn that frown upside down! You’re both young and beautiful in London! What is there to frown about? c:

“Precious,” Natasha said fondly.

“Did you know that Tony’s contact has sparkle emoji on Natasha’s phone?” Bucky asked.

Steve looked up, hurt. “Why am I smiling poop?”

“Because I think you’re a piece of shit too,” Natasha said, snapping a picture of him. “You’re both shitty. I don’t know why I put up with you.”

“Because we’re adorable,” Bucky drawled before throwing himself across Steve’s lap. “Don’t worry, Steve. I’m smiling shit, too.”

…That did make him feel better.

“Clint’s just a row of emoji consisting of pizza, arrows, and a dog face,” Natasha added.

Steve whined. “I wanna be pizza and a dog face!”

“No,” she said, and took a picture of the blond in Snapchat so she could give him a halo of grinning shits.

Just for shits and giggles, Bucky texted Tony ‘listen, some days you have a lemon and some days you are the lemon.’ Tony didn’t get back to him immediately, but he hadn’t expected him to. He and Steve still preferred phone calls over texting, so everyone knew that if they were texting it probably wasn’t too important.

Tony: I think you’re peachy keen! :D

Bucky clutched his chest. “Shit.”

Steve sat up in alarm. “You okay, Buck?”

“Tony is so cute how can anyone take this man seriously.”

“What?” Steve blinked at him. “…Oh!” He smiled. “Natasha showed you her texts from Tony!”

Bucky stared down at his phone fondly. “Is he like this with everyone?”

“No, just Natasha, I think. You now, too, I guess. I think he does it for Bruce when he feels down, but JARVIS tells him when that is.”

“Oh.” Bucky smiled a little. “…That’s nice.”

Steve grinned at him. “He just likes to brighten the days of people he thinks need it.”

Steve found Bucky tucked in the closet, clutching a knife. “Bad dream?”

“There was blood everywhere,” Bucky whispered, knuckles going white. He let the blond take the knife from his hands and instead tucked them in his armpits, shivering. “All over. I can’t–Why, Steve?”

Steve sighed and crawled into the closet with him, pulling the door shut behind him. “I don’t know, Bucky.” He wrapped an arm around the brunet’s shoulders and pulled him up against his side. “You got your phone?”

“…I think so?” Bucky frowned, trying to recall. “…In my pocket, maybe.”

“Okay.” Steve reached down to fish the phone out of his pocket. “Would it help to send a message to Tony?”

Bucky buried his face in the blond’s shoulder. “He’s. He’s in. China? Japan? Asia. I think. He’ll be asleep.”

“Well, we can send him something,” Steve reasoned. “He can get back to us when he wakes up.”

Bucky reached up to grab his wrist. “Don’t–don’t tell him I’m like this. I don’t want him to worry.”

Steve sighed, unable to help a little smile. “What do you want me to say? That you want to run off and be a hermit in the mountains?”

“…Yeah,” Bucky said. It wasn’t technically a lie. Sometimes he did wanna run off to be a hermit in the mountains.

Steve jumped a little when he received a text almost immediately. “Oh!”

Tony: Can I visit you there?

Bucky peered at the screen. “…No. Only cats allowed.”

“What about me?” Steve asked as he typed in his answer.

“You’re not a cat.”

Tony: I can’t think of anyone better to share a cave with! And I would know. I’ve spent time in a cave. 😜

“Aw,” Steve said, torn between adoring and sad. “Way to break my heart, Tony.”

“He’s broken worse parts,” Bucky said, even though both of them knew it was a lie.

consider: ndrv3 musical AU
  • kaede composes
  • also does the stupidest vocal warmups
  • tsumugi makes the costumes
  • instead of panic talk actions there are some musical numbers wow neato
  • ouma has this really jazzy song about lying to kaede during trial 1
  • saihara is constantly mistaken for stage crew bc of his black emo outfit
  • angie choreographs! she did a lot of festivals back on her island so she knows how to dance
  • the pink blood thing was just momota mixing up the fake blood and angies pink paint (she paints the set too and leaves her shit everywhere) and everyone thought it was so stupid that they left it in
  • gonta carries the heavy set pieces
  • hoshi: i want an edgy backstory everyone: why hoshi: angst
  • (he hasnt killed anyone in this au)
  • shinguuji is shirogane’s weird asistant who tries on all the weird stuff she makes. he really likes this one tokyo ghoul mask so shirogane redesigns it to make this sick ass mask. his bandages are just her scrap fabric
  • amami cant decide on a talent and thats why hes the ???
  • ouma falls of the stage one time and everyone is honestly grateful
  • iruma and kiibo build the monocubs
  • the executions are just yumenos magic tricks
  • theyre alive and happy and gay in the end yeehaw
Paparazzi - Justin Bieber imagine

Request: ‘Can you do a imagine with Justin and y/n are out in public and the paparazzi say really mean stuff to her and he protects her’

Warnings: language and some references to drugs 


If there was one thing I would name about about what I hate about Justin being famous, it would be the endless amount of attention and following around he receives. We could never seem to be able to get away from it, no matter where we went. We could go to Antarctica and paparazzi would still find a way to get to us. The fans, I truly didn’t mind because they actually had manners unlike the paps. Insults would be hurled at me in a daily basis, either on social media or in person.

We were currently inside the Chanel store on Rodeo Drive and there was a whole crowd of people outside, waiting for Justin to come out. I looked at the bags on the wall for something that caught my attention. Justin was talking to his security so they could be ready for when we actually left. I couldn’t actually hear what he was saying to them because there was so much screaming and hollering coming from outside. Justin came over to my side to join in on helping me look for something.

I glanced over at him and noticed his attire. “Justin, please do me a favor and pull up your pants.” He gave me a confused look and looked down at his clothes.

“Babe, it’s called style. There isn’t anything wrong with me sagging my pants.” He replied. “You should try sagging your pants.”

“Absolutely not. Justin, set an example.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“You’re not my mom. Just get a move on so we can leave before they break the windows,” He was referring to the people standing outside the store. I looked over the things once more before I finally came down to a decision. I went to the check out and Justin quickly paid for it. He took my bag and his security told him to get ready. 

“Stand behind me and don’t let go of my hand. Got it?” He asked, looking back at me in a serious manner. I nodded my head quickly and held onto his hand as tight as I could. I hated going out into crowds like this. It was the worst thing possible. The fact that I was claustrophobic didn’t make things any better for me. It wasn’t as bad as when I was young but, it’s still a scary experience. His security opened the door and the screaming from the fans immediately hit me.

I think I might have gone deaf in both of my ears. Justin’s security pushed the crowd back only so much, it barely made a difference. Justin guided me through the endless maze of people and almost half way to the car, something was thrown at me. I didn’t bother to look at it but, an insult soon followed.

“Justin, what are you doing with a druggie? You forget that she’s an addict?”

I ignored what was said at first but, everything got worse from there.

“Why don’t you just overdose already? It’ll make the world a better place, especially for Justin!”

Justin stopped in his place and he turned around in the direction the last insult came from. “What did you say?” He questioned. His anger was very noticeable in his tone. “Who said that? Come on, speak up!”

“I said it,” someone spoke up. “What are you going to do about it when it’s true?” I saw the paparazzi’s face and it was awfully familiar, even the voice was. He was the pap that followed us around everywhere we went.

“You care to repeat that, you piece of shit?” Justin continued. He let go of my hand and walked over to the guy. I followed behind him and told him to stop before it could get any worse. Justin continued bantering the guy until he gave in, which was a huge mistake. Without thinking twice, Justin drew his arm back and threw a punch or two. Before Justin could cause serious damage, his security pulled him away. 

I was sort of shocked yet happy that Justin did that. I wasn’t expecting it at all. He was always so humble and it was so foreign to me to see him like that. I caught up to Justin and his security and we got into the car, leaving the crowd of people behind. There was an awkard silence between us so, I took the time to break it myself.

“Thanks for standing up from me Justin. No one has really done that for me before.” I said. I smiled at him to show I was being sincere and he sent me a small smile back.

“Anytime. No one deserves to be disrespected, especially my girlfriend.”

The Same.

-Junhoe x Reader

-When Junhoe agrees to babysit his niece, he would never in a million years expect the little tyke to turn his life upside down in the most unexpected way possible.


-I notice there isn’t too many writing of iKon maknae line out. I really wanna change that because all 7 of them are so awesome. I don’t wanna get stuck on just doubleB, which I do notice most of my writing is for them. I hope to put out more of the other boys.

Originally posted by junhwe-koo


“H-Hello?” The shaky voice spewing out from the speaker of your phone had your entire apartment halts in movement. It can’t be… Couldn’t be…

“Y/n?” Then it speaks up again, clearer this time, not a trace of hesitation in the way it so velvety wrapping your name in its soft tone. It was as though God had temporarily pressed pause on the movie that is your life. The TV was still blaring but falling on your deaf ears. The air sullen, sinking fast as cold wind rushing in from the seemingly warm spring day outside. Everything took on such a solemn note, almost peaceful. Your dog, Mattias, had stopped squirming around on the carpet, instead laying there with his legs up in the air gazing at you with inquisitive eyes. He must’ve heard it too.

“Jun..Junhoe?” You’re scare to speak up, to confirm that it is what you and your handsome boy, who was now moving on to licking his paws on the floor, heard.

“Yea, it’s me.” There it was again. Your brain still couldn’t register the familiar sound as anything but hallucination. It can’t be. You distinctively heard that annoying ringtone that you for the millionth time made a mental note to change but probably won’t.

“Uhm… Did you- I mean, hi.” Stuttering like a fool, you shut your eyes and grit your teeth in embarrassment even though he wasn’t there to see. The poor couch that had once hosted the owner of that voice during his many lazy day during his game session nearly break from you throwing your whole weight onto it out of utter mortification.

“Hi… I-I. I’m so sorry, Y/n. You know I wouldn’t call unless it was really dire.”

“It’s alright. What’s wrong?” 

It was so strange to hear him speak with no hidden sadness, not even a trace of bitterness lace in the soothing voice. For so long you had longed for him to sound out your name in the amicableness from before. Not the before of the weeks leading up to the painful break up. The before of playfully throwing veggies at each other while dinner bubbles away on the hot stove. Back when you cracking up in ribs splitting laughter whenever he does something completely stupid during your annual Y/n + Junhoe grand adventure. In those days where you could confidently claim you had him begging for in between lustful moans of the night. In the days where you were still his girlfriend. 

“I’m really panicking right now. Hani, my niece, I’m suppose to babysit her today and… God, Y/n. I don’t know what to do. I tried everything. I even freaking threaten to take her home if she don’t stop. I don’t know what else to do- I. Why did you made it look so easy when you babysat her. What do I do?” His voice wavers worse than a baby tree in a category 1 hurricane. He rans without even breathing and judging his heavy breaths, he must be really desperate.

“Slow down, Junhoe. Breathe. Listen to me. Breathe! It won’t do neither of you good if you pass out. Now, slowly, tell me what happened.” A few long breath could be heard huffing into the receiver end of his phone before a long sigh follows up with dead silent. You lean back in your chair, discomfort forcing its way out from how strange this all feel. 6 months, 6 months of nothing since the break up. He didn’t even grace you with the tiniest bit of salvation for your  aching heart even after you saw him arm in arm with the gorgeous cheery brunette that practically bounce her way down the busy street. 

“It started out so nice. We went to the park, we played, we watched movies. Then all of the sudden she won’t eat, she won’t play, she won’t listen to me. She just sat there and sulk. Then she threw a fit and spilled her lunch all over herself. I got irritated and she cry and now I wanna cry to and now she’s- She’s mad at me and I’m mad at her now too… and then…” The passion in his words dies out leaving you on the edge of your seat, anticipation coursing through your mind with all the worst scenarios. Above it all, why did he just call his girl. Why you.

“And then?” You whisper gently, careful not to shook anymore stress on the man that must be tearing his hair out by now.

“And then she, uh, she asked for you. She told me that it was all my fault you never come around anymore. You would know what she wants and all I do is just mess everything up. She’s crying so much that I don’t know what to do anymore, Y/n.”  The softness in his voice falters with the last syllable of your name. The before of sadness feigning its joyful counterpart of the break up week suddenly flood your mind with its present.

“I’m so sorry, Junhoe. I tried to explain to her that I had to leave…” You had always felt guilty for leaving everything in this wonderful part of your life you shared with him. Most of all, you felt the guilt of ruining the ultimate trust he gave you when he introduced his wonderful family to you.

“It’s not your fault. Kids, they just don’t understand breakups you know.” You cringe at the way the cursed word rolled off his tongue. Breakups. It’s such an ugly word to be tainting such a beautiful man with a kind heart and loving soul.

“Yea… I’m still sorry… for everything.”

“Thank you”

You both stay silent for how long, you didn’t really know. No doubts the rush of reminiscing, of running through all the wonderful memories you both made together also affected him because you could’ve sworn you heard that infectious chuckle of his. Somehow, somehow that made you smile even under all the tear you were shedding. 

“Did you want me to calm her down?” Deciding the silent was deafening enough, you speak up to clear the air. “Junnie? you there?” 

“uh, uhm, yea.” He cleared his throat, not a question in your mind that he caught himself on the endearing nickname you had always used. You on the other hand, hadn’t even caught it yourself. “Can I bring her over to your place? You still live in the same place right?”

“Yea, of course. You sure you don’t want me to come over there instead, easier?” You muse over his strange request seeing how it was much easier for one adult to make a trip rather than a 5 years old and a man child.

“I- I’m moving. Most my stuffs is already packed up so I figured it’d be easier over at a place with real household items.”

“Oh, I see. Why didn’t you just call your sister? Or your mom?”

“They’ve been so stress so I agree to help out… I don’t wanna be useless. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Just come over, you know your way. See you soon.”

“See you!”

30 minutes. 30 minutes it took you to realize what you had just agreed to. 30 minutes to realize the man you’re still hopelessly in love with that was no longer hopelessly in love with you was driving over with his 5 years old niece. 30 freaking minutes to realize you look like shit and your apartment even worse. 

“Shit. Why did I do this to myself” was the last thing you could utter before huffing away to a hot shower and a quick 10 minutes hair make up session. Praise the lord for the walk in closet because your mess of a room had just cleaned itself in the 2 revolution the long hand of the clock took. You had just thrown all the windows open when that familiar ding dong yanks your attention toward that white door. Your heart drums with all its might knowing just who stands just beyond that piece of wood. Nerve wrecks every cell in your body as you reach out to the cold piece of metal keeping you away from him. 

“Hey! Oh my God, Hani! Come here you little monkey!” 

“Auntie!!! YAY!” 

No sooner than the door slam into the wall with all the might a 5 years old could exerts, she was already in your arm clinging on like the monkey she is. 

“You’re so heavy now. I don’t think I can carry you anymore… Oh no, I’m gonna drop you!”

Loud shrieks tearing through the house luring a very exciting doggie charging toward the familiar laugh of the five years old. They were best buddies, inseparable since Hani was barely walking and Mattias was barely learning how to properly use his tiny puppy paws.

“MATTY!” She yelps for you to let go before the two of them dance happily in circle, whizzing away to your bedroom. Silent sinking over the warming apartment once again as you eye an awkward Junhoe standing there juggling with what you presume is Hani’s luggages. 

“Hey you!” You headed for a hug before crash and burn into that invisible wall of boundaries. Were your hugs still welcome? Would it makes him feel odd being pull into the arms of his ex?

“Hey. Sorry for barging in. I, you know I wouldn’t bother you unless I really needed to.” Tottering over, you couldn’t help but wince at the way his eyes tracing out the metal edges of your lock box, for certain recalling the many times exhilaration ran through his fingers as he type in the code to your place.

“Yea, it’s no problem. I miss her. Come on in…”

He shuffles in, shucking off his shoes and placing them where he had always for the past 3 years you had occupied this quaint apartment. You remember the day when you both finished putting the place together. He had so specifically left an empty spot just on the bottom shelf of your shoe rack. You tilted your head in confusion, wondering what his reasoning was. To which he simply said “What? I gotta leave my shoes somewhere…”. Needless to say it jolted his heart to see the spot remains empty. Staring about now, he’s drinking in as much of this familiar yet strange space that was once 2nd home.

“The lock… It’s the same code. I saw you staring.”

“Oh” A nervous chuckles adores you with its crisp sound. “I see.” 

“How’ve you been? how’s the girlfriend?” Bitter is all you can taste saying that word.

“I’m good. No girlfriend… You?” Bitter is all he could taste thinking about another man touching you.

“I’m okay… No boys, just Mattias over there. I saw you with that girl…” You feel disgusted with yourself for even prying so hard but you needed to know. You just want to feel that security of having him to yourself.

“Oh, just a friend. We were actually lost, the whole group got separated and yea, we didn’t wanna lose each other too. She’s not from around here and getting lost would be a big problem.” Your heart grin from hearing the perfectly logical explanation of why she was clinging onto him so tightly.

“Ah, I see.” he sways around a bit, awkwardly smiling at you.

“Should I give the little one a shower? You said she spilled lunch all over herself…” This was strange. Way to strange for your liking. There stand the man you had seen countless time trekking across this place butt naked with a bottle of water in his hand. Yet here he was, acting like he just entered a stranger’s home. It hurts.

“Yes, thank you. You know I was never good with this… you did most of it. I don’t know what I was thinking accepting to babysit.” Your voice cut his trance short as his soul nearly leaving his body. Holding out the two backpacks full of stuff, he smile awkwardly, not really sure where the lines were being drawn.

“It’s no problem. Just, you know where everything is… I’ll be back.”

He watches as you disappear into that room, that sacred place of love, of lust, and of the life he misses so dearly. He’s scare, terrify in fact to peer through the door once again fearing he might find things he wouldn’t like. Things that remind him you’ve moved on. So he settles on the couch, listening to the loud giggles emanating from the bathroom. The golden rays dance on his skin just the same as it had many afternoons before watching you cook from this very couch. As if sensing his memory lane, Mattias had taken upon himself to crawl right next to his other master that he loves so much but haven’t seen in a long time. If he could speak, you were sure the pup would throw an even bigger fit than Hani.

“Auntie can we go get ice cream later?” The little tyke hopping excitingly in one place, sprinkling little droplets of water all over your floor.

“Yes, if you eat lunch and take a nap and listen to your uncle.” Wrapping her in a big towel, you dried her off before pulling on the small PJ with bunnies print you had gotten for her birthday not too long ago.

“Okay. I feel bad for making uncle sad. I didn’t mean to cry but I miss you. Uncle wouldn’t let me call you so I cried.” Her eyes reddening from the overrunning guilt. You couldn’t help but feel your heart cracking a bit further knowing this was half your fault. You knew you had to cut off all contact for Junhoe’s sake, for your sake. Never once during the breakup did you both consider the collateral damage and casualties you’d both leave in the wake of the separation. 

“It’s okay. He thought I was busy so he said that. Next time, how about I call you first??” You coo, pulling the sadden girl into your arms.

“Yea! I miss Matty too.” 

“We can take him to the doggie park later too. If your uncle says okay.” You force a smile for the kid but deep down, this was all too close to heart for your own comfort.

“Auntie… I know you and uncle doesn’t love each other anymore. It’s okay if you don’t want to see me. I just miss you, he misses you too. We just wanna see you. I know it makes you sad to see uncle. He’s very sad too. I saw him crying when he saw me looking at your pictures on the computer.” You were in the process of getting lunch ready but now, now you found yourself standing there like a statue being rain on. You hadn’t cry about Junhoe in so long. You thought you couldn’t anymore but little Hani’s honest words… They cut deep. So instead, you drop to your knee and let the little one hold you close, petting your hair as you shed your tear.

“Hani, I love you uncle very much. I miss him too. It’s just sometimes, sometimes adults have to do things they don’t like for the people they love. Sometimes we have to say goodbye but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. Doesn’t mean I don’t wanna see you. I wanna see you everyday. Matty wanna see you everyday. Next time just tell your uncle to call me, okay?” You smile to calm the little one down.

“You swear?”

“Pinky swear. Now let’s get you lunch and nap.”

Hand in hand, you both turn to walk toward the bedroom door when you could’ve sworn you just miss the blur of the tousle of black hair rushing away from the door. Pushing it to your weary mind playing trick, you both skip happily to lunch time. 

Your kitchen hadn’t had this much laughter since, well since before the breakup. Lunch came and go in a flash and you were now tucking the little one tightly under your blanket. She smile cheekily before planting a big kiss on your cheeks, whispering sleepily to not tell her uncle. 

Sauntering back to the living room now, you wonder where the dog and his master had gone in the 2 hours it took for Hani to finally tuckered out. You let our eyes wander not even a minute when they land upon the sweet sight of Junhoe’s large body cuddling up a sprawl out Mattias. The dog had him whipped since the first day you both adopted him from the rescue. Always napping together, could never got himself to put the four legged son in time out. Junhoe tightly shut eyes wincing a bit when Mattias stretches himself, kicking and whining in his dream. This is the sight you had always come to associate this place with, your life with. Who would’ve thought in such a short time, you’d lose all the hope and dream of a fun filled future with the sleepy man before you. Settling down just beside the boys on the floor, you reach out to scratch Mattias’s belly before hovering above Junhoe’s dark locks. He loves getting a good scalp massage to fall asleep to and you honestly love giving him one. You stare for a moment before the sinful lull of selfishness taken over. Dropping your fingers onto his fringe, you sweep the soft strands out of his forehead, lingering on his soft skin, basking in the cologne that still remains the same after 6 years of being together.

You could feel his eyes stirring a bit, life returning to his sleepy gaze as you shoot away toward the kitchen.

“Hey, where’s Hani?”

Damn that husky voice. Junhoe possesses the voice of angels, so delightful and sweet. When he sings, you could feel your heart skip several beats from how beautiful he is. But then there was the gruff in his voice when he just waking up, so low and so rough that it got you lost in him.

“She’s sleeping, probably 10 minutes now. You want lunch? I can reheat some stuff for you…” You avert your gaze, hand wiping the same spot for the 5th time in the past few minutes.

“I’m okay.” You could see him glancing around, taking note of the changes with a few nods of his head. “Everything is pretty much the same here…”

“Not everything. Lots of things changed.” You rush out the answer, hoping he hadn’t heard it.

“Yea it is. You extensive mug collection is still on the cabinet that’s way too high for you to reach. The bowls and plates still in the left bottom cabinet. You even organize your fridge in the same way. Matty’s bed is still in the corner next to the sliding door. I haven’t seen your room yet but I’m sure it’s the same.” He lists with a slight chuckle with all the intention in the world to lighten to mood.

“I moved the utensil drawer. It’s above the bowls and plates now. Made more sense that way. You grab your utensils then you grab your food holders. I don’t leave my water in the fridge door anymore, I got a big water cooler now. Easier that way.” You were feeling your tear creeping up on you, wiping that spot for the 10th time. “I can’t cook dinner for two anymore. It took me 3 months to even remember not to buy two serving of everything. Veggies don’t fly in the kitchen anymore, they’re just boring old veggies that lay around where you put them down. I don’t come home to your voice singing out my name anymore. I can’t jump into your arm. I can’t kiss you. I can’t cuddle you on rainy day. You don’t make me tea anymore. They’re all still there you know. You never took your tea collection when you left. I-I can’t go to bed expecting the sheet and cover already warmed up. I don’t have to complain about you leaving your products all over the bathroom sink. I guess that’s one good thing. I can’t take care of you when you’re sick and gross and icky. I don’t travel anymore. I don’t go get a salt and butter donut then a coffee every Sunday morning anymore. I’m not yours… And I can’t call you mine… So please tell me, Junnie, in what world is everything “the same””. 

You spin around briskly, throwing the towel onto the floor throwing your hands up in an air quotation mark in snide. You can’t bother hiding the tear anymore. All your emotion of 6 months of constant suppressing exploded. He stood there wide eyes but already lunging forward to pull you into his chest. 

“Damn it, Junhoe. Why did we even break up in the first place?” You sob into his chest feeling the knots in your hair loosen with each pass of his fingers. You feel all the frustration of going against the grain of life seeping out.

“Because we weren’t going anywhere… remember? We got stuck in this routine life that was just stomping in one place. I was struggling to move up in the world and you, you weren’t getting any warmer with the idea of settling down and getting marry. But I have a feeling you’re not asking for the reason…” He coos so tenderly the painful reminder of why you were sleeping alone every night.

“No… Why did it all seemed so complicated back then…Why did we agree to this shitty lonely life.” Your arms tighten around his body, squeezing out all the darkness as he chuckles.

“Because we were dumb and young.”

“We’re still the same age now as when we parted you freak!” He laughs at the seemingly ease you could crack a comeback even when you’re ugly crying.

“Fine. Because we’re a bit wiser now than we were before. We’ve been together for so long and I think we just needed a reminder of what it feels like to be on our own. Honestly, I hated every single second of the past 6 months. I knew it was mutual and I have no right but God, I got so angry when I saw your Instagram that you were getting tea with that guy from your work. Tea is my thing. You were only suppose to drink the one I pick. Then I laughed because there I was, getting angry over tea. But you know what? I realized i miss you so damn much.”

You nearly choke on that sentence. You wanted so badly to come home to that sentence but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask for it. Not when you both decided to part way. His lips find themselves resting on your damp cheek as he whispers “i miss you” over and over until you dug your face so far into the crook of his neck the kisses couldn’t reach you anymore.

“I knew I said we always do the same thing and it got so abhorrently boring but I miss it. I would sell my soul to have those “boring” date back. I knew it was just a fluke this morning when you called me Junnie over the phone but it had my heart doing flips and my stomach sick with butterflies. Then earlier when you told Hani you miss me, I’m surprise I had enough self control not to kiss your lips off then and there.” 

You sob out a laugh from the sweet words of your sassy man and he returns the same. You both stood there for so long just looking at the familiarities of each other and how they’re all suddenly seems to be glowing with all the lights of the stars above. His hands move to cup your cheeks gingerly to which you respond with the flutter shut of your eyes. Then you feel the intense heat of summer spreading from his soft lips. It breaches the barrier with the thrust of his tongue greeting yours. It burns down your throat as he moans into you, satisfies with your welcoming touches. Searing down your chest, your heart works itself into a stupor, drugging all your veins with love as you clutch onto the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer. Finally your spent lungs gave out from the intensity of its all with a heavy pant.

“Please tell me we’ll get back together after this because if not, this would all be soooo embarrassing. Also, I’d really like it if you help me move. It’s been hell doing it myself.” He retorts, eyes gloss over with every drip of love he could offer despite the cheeky remarks.

“Yes, weirdo. I mean, who’s gonna fill that empty spot on my shoe rack. I guess I should also pay you back for moving me into this place.” a soft thud of your fist playfully tickles his chest as a much crisper laugh tears through your apartment. You didn’t wanna leave his arms and it seems he has no problem with it. You stay there in the kitchen that held so much memory and surely host of new ones. Your arms tight around him as you rest on his strong stature. He presses kisses here and there, relaying how much he needs you close. Once the tiredness settled into your legs, you drag him over to the couch surprising a still sleeping Mattias awake. He gladly gives up part of the couch for you to fall onto with Junhoe flushing tight against your back.

“You know earlier, when you were struggling with 2 backpacks and a fussy Hani, you really looked like a real dad. Kinda cute.” 

“Yea? Does it uh, does it makes you feel a certain way…?” He winks teasingly, words playful as he presses a kiss onto your lips.

“I don’t know. Should I be? Why don’t you enlighten me.” You refuse to relent to his mischievous words.

“If I look like a dad and you think it’s cute… Doesn’t it incite a motherly feeling in you? I mean, you look like a fearless mom that could handle a zombie apocalypse earlier laying down the law with Hani. I’m not saying you have to feel motherly any time soon… Just you know, eventually.” Hope glints gleefully in his eyes as he not so inconspicuously letting his finger rubs your own very specific one.

“Koo Junhoe, isn’t there something you need to ask me first before I should be feeling motherly?” You retort, flicking his forehead, watching him wincing in pain.

“Let me worry about that part, okay babe? I promise you, I’ll be here for the rest of your life. I will never, ever leave again.” Clutching onto your hands tightly, he let his heart speaks knowing he’s in a good place from here on out.

“I love you, Junnie.”

“I love you, baby.”

You both remain silent, basking in the peacefulness of a revived love. You spend your time staring at him, letting your fingers relearn all the dips and curve of Junhoe. He did the same, index running along your nose ridge, brushing your hair out of your face, poking your cheeks. Nothing but small giggles and kisses could be heard for the next hour until the gentle voice of a very sleepy Hani burst your bubble.

“Does this mean I get to sleep over whenever I want to again?”

Junhoe breaks into a laugh as you motion for the little one to come over. She jumps right in and wiggles herself neatly in the crack between yours and his body. She calls for Mattias as the happy pup wagging his tail your way, settling just beneath your feet continuing to snooze away. Her eyes close once again as you press a soft kiss on her hair, Junhoe doing the same.  He whispers to a giddy Hani before beaming brightly at you.

“Yes, kid. It does.” 

Back To Black

First drabble from the song drabble game. You can request more from this list, and there is also a girl group version. 

Song: Back To Black by Amy Winehouse

He left no time to regret
Kept his dick wet
With his same old safe bet
Me and my head high
And my tears dry
Get on without my guy

I love you much
It’s not enough
You love blow and I love puff

Word Count: 1.5k

Genre: Angst, slight smut

Warnings: Drug use and unhealthy relationships

(gif credit)

“I can’t believe you just stood here and let your parents humiliate me like that.” You shouted at Taehyung, not caring that the entire house staff can hear your argument with your husband.

“But I thought you were a strong woman, an amazon, who doesn’t need my help.” Taehyung mocks you cheerfully.

You grit your teeth together so hard you think you could taste the pulverized bone on your tongue. “There is a difference between treating me like a prized show horse and coming to my aid when I genuinely need you.”

Taehyung cracks up. “Look at what you’re wearing! A show horse is worth more than your entire life, baby.”

You slap him. At any other time, Taehyung would’ve returned the favor but not right now.

“Ohh, baby, you know I like it rough.” His smile mocks your outburst and he places a hand on your ass, pulling you up against him. “Hit me more.”

You push him away, “Are you fucking high? You couldn’t even stay sober one night for me?” You had requested specifically that he doesn’t do coke today so he can stay alert and by your side at his parent’s dinner party but did you really expect from him?

“You can’t blame me when you insist on embarrassing me in front of everyone I know.” You give him a confused look and he comes up to you and tugs harshly at your dress, ripping a piece right off. “What is this shit? Why couldn’t you just let me buy you something nice to wear? How do you think it makes me feel when people see that my wife dresses cheaper than one of my father’s whores?”

Keep reading


Originally posted by whithoutmoonlight

Collab with @texts-from-bts

Summary: You’re friends with a group of trouble makers, ‘junkies’ as the town calls you. But one day… it all gets too much.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Yoongi opened the door to his hotel room and let you all in. 

“I can’t believe we just did that.” You said taking off your beanie and throwing yourself on the bed. 

“But now we have goodies~” Hoseok sung dumping all the items he grabbed onto the bed. 

“I got band t’s if anyone needs any!” You said grabbing one and walking to the bathroom, “I’m going to take a shower! Order some food while I’m in there yeah? I’m starving.“ 

“Y/n it’s 4 in the morning… what place is going to deliver?” Jin peeped up.

“Then someone go get foood!” You cried out. 

“I’ll go, I’ll go…” Jungkook offered, “Jimin give me money." 

"Say please punk." 

"Please punk." 

"Fucker.” Jimin handed him some money. 

“Yeah yeah, I’ll be back in a bit. Let’s see what I can get with 15 dollars.” Jungkook crumpled up the money and shoved it in his pockets. 

A couple minutes had passed when you heard knocks on the bathroom door. “Who is it?” You said not knowing if you were loud enough because of how tired you were. “Hello?” You walked closer to the door, about to grab the knob.

“Hey I was wondering-” Jimin had opened the door as you walked toward it, smacking you on your forehead causing you to fall back. "Oh my god! I’m so sorry!-“ he looked down at you and shrieked. 

"Get out you piece of shit!” You pulled a towel on top of you. 

“I didn’t mean to! I didn’t think you were naked! You just got in there!” He screamed from outside the door. He turned to the other boys that were just staring at him. They all turned to look at each other and started laughing at him.

“Fucking A,” Namjoon laughed, “gotta see her naked before I did.” Jin slapped him on the shoulder also laughing. After the laughing fit and a couple hits at Jimin, you came out, clean and angry but spotless nonetheless. 

“One of you fucks want to go?” Hoseok got up to take a shower. 

“I took one of the shirts you got.” He said. 

“It’s okay.” You put your hand on his shoulder as he passed by you. 

“You didn’t get any shirts your size? That shirt fits you like a dress.” Namjoon stated. 

“Good, that way I don’t have to waste clean pants.” You told him. “Anywho where’s Jungkook?” You sat on the bed closest to the front door, in between Jin and Namjoon. 

“Not here yet. Idiot probably got lost.” Jin said. 

“So what’s up with all of you? Why did we rob the place?” Yoongi finally spoke up. 

“Just cuz,” You shrugged. “We don’t have money and we thought it’d be fun. Now look at all the stuff we got.” You said grabbing all the cds and pulling them towards you with sparkles in your eyes. “We’re gonna have music slappin for days." 

"Ahh I see… a gang of trouble makers. I guess I would fit in with you gu-” Yoongi spoke until there was pounding on the door. He got up to open it. It was Jungkook. “Woah what the fuck happened dude?" 

"Where’s the food Kook?” You asked not seeing the commotion. He walked inside and that was when you realized some shit happened. “Wait babes what the fuck actually happened?!” You yelled standing up and running to him to look at his face. “Your face… it’s all beaten up. Were you hurt anywhere else?” You started shifting his shirt around until you spotted a big red spot near his ribs. “Damn that’s going to turn into a bruise…" 

"These shitwads jumped me. I don’t fucking know why! It was complete bullshit! There was three of ems! How is that shit even fair?! They took the fifteen dollars and my fucking phone! Can you believe that?!” He laughed angrily. “I just want to sleep yeah?" 

"Take a shower first kookie… or at least a bath okay? Also were they driving a car or something?” You said. 

“After they were done I seen em hop into this green shitty ass car with a shit ton of stupid stickers that didn’t even make sense… I mean I was probably a bit gone with the head trauma and all but still. Anyway I’ll go shower.” And as by magic Hoseok came out in perfect timing. 

“Woah the fuck happened?” He asked him but instead of answering he just went into the bathroom. 

“Lil homie got beat up.” Namjoon answered. 

“And I say we get revenge.” Your mouth widened into an evil grin. 

“Put some pants on and we’ll go find them fuckers car.” Jimin said. 

“Stay here twat. You’ve had enough fuckeries for one day. I’ll bring you back a souvenir or somethin. Come on Joon you’re good at breaking stuff." 

"Hey!” Both Jimin and Namjoon yelled. 

“I’m kidding. Now come on… also I’m not putting on pants. I refuse. Hand me my cardigan.” And with that you guys were off except for Jin, he stayed behind to make sure Jungkook was fine. 

“I think it’s that one?” You pointed to the car. “I mean it’s the only shitty green piece of crap we’ve seen and I’m sure Kook didn’t walk far." 

"It is!” Jimin pointed as well. “There’s the stupid shit stickers!" 

"Perfect,” you smirked, “you all know what to do." 

You all went up to the car and looked at it for a moment, "This needs more design, don’t cha think?” Yoongi sarcastically said as he pulled out his keys and started keying the damn thing all over. You looked around for anything sharp. Luckily you found a nail. 

“And these tires look way too pumped, a lil less air would do the trick.” You started popping all of them. 

“These stickers are meaningless. Joon help me scratch these shits off.” Jimin said scratching some off but leaving the messed up layers there. 

“Does this car really need windows? I mean, they obviously need oxygen in their brains if they’re messing around with just anybody.” Hoseok took his jacket off and wrapped it around his hand. With a kiss to his fist and a some force he broke the backseat window making the alarm go off. 

“Fuck! Hobi?!” Namjoon yelled. 

“Shut the fuck and go start the car! All of you!” He stayed behind to take a peek in the car. Oooh these fucks aren’t playing around I see. He grabbed a bag of what looked like fucked up weed and some watch he found on the floor of the car. “Oh! There’s Kooks phone!” He said to himself, “and a wallet I see… $600? Why’re these fuckers stealing from a poor boy what the hell." 

"Hey! Who are you!?” A man shouted from the steps of his house. 

“Hey keep it down. You don’t want to wake your neighbors.” Hoseok laughed as he kicked the backlight and ran towards the car. You held the door open for him. “Come on y/n! Let’s go!” He yelled. 

“One second!” You grabbed a big rock from the side of the rode and jumped in.

“Why the fuck?” Namjoon asked. 

“Yoongi make a u-turn!” You demanded and he did as he was told. You threw the rock at the car making the windshield window crumble into bits before the very eyes of the man looking distraught. “Don’t you eva fuck with us! You fucking piece of shit!” You all laughed all  the way back to the hotel. 

“Nice shot and I’m real sorry about earlier okay? I really didn’t mean to.” Jimin said to you. 

“Look, don’t worry about it okay?” You put your arm around his neck as all of you walked back to the hotel room. “Helloooo fuckers. Introducing the most badass crew in town. Here catch!” You threw Jungkooks phone at him. “Aaand we also instead of the fifteen dollars, we got six hundred dollars. Mmm you’re welcome.” Jin and Jungkook just looked at you guys in confusion. 

“H-how?” Jungkook questioned. 

“Don’t worry about it. But we have a small problem. We have to skip town. Book it. Dip. Leave the premis-” Namjoon was speaking but was cut off by Jin.

“Wait, what the fuck. Why? How bad you guys fuck up?" 

"Well you see we may have actually totally wrecked the douches car. It’s a mangled mess and speaking of cars pretty sure the dude got an eyeful of Yoongi’s.” Hoseok spoke up. 

“What am I going to do with you guys?” Jin sighed, “I’m sorry Yoongi we’re going to have to leave your car behind somewhere." 

Yoongi just nodded his head in response, "Hey don’t worry about it. Shit was a piece of junk anyway. I was waiting for the day it broke down on me." 

"I guess now is a perfect time to go get the truck. Hopefully it’s not ransacked. I have valuables man.” Jin spoke. 

“Jin, your pink sweater is not a valuable. Alsoooo I’m too tired to go get it. Can’t we just wait here?” Jimin whined. 

“Here I have a plan,” Yoongi intervened, “You can take my car to get your truck and once you get to wherever the hell you left it, you can leave behind mine. Let me just get my stuff out of it." 

"Okay, sure. Thanks." 

Yoongi left the room to go down to his car. 

"Now you idiots don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone. Hobi, don’t let Namjoon and y/n rip each others heads off. And Namjoon, please for the love of god, just go to sleep. That’s all I’m asking from you. Okay?” Jin sternly asked.

“Okay fine,” he folded his arms and mumbled, “it’s not like I saved Jungkooks phone or anything." 

"Joon you scratched off stickers.” You popped his bubble of him helping. 

“Yeah but I didn’t do it well so some of it was still on there! You know like how there’s stubborn bits left! Yeah I did that on purpose.” He pouted, laying down and rolling over to face the other way. 

“Oh my god. Just two and a half hours please?” He sighed, walking out of the room. 

“Hey guuuuuys~” Hoseok called, pulling out the bag of weed he found, “Who has paper?" 

"I do.” Jungkook answered, passing one to Hoseok. 

“Now we’re just gonna have fuUun!” Hoseok exclaimed. 

“Oooh can I get in on this?” Yoongi asked as he walked in the door. 

You all sat in a circle on the floor in the middle of the two beds passing the joint around until the majority of you got sleepy. Namjoon, you and Hoseok shared one bed while Yoongi let Jungkook and Jimin share the other bed with him. Everyone fell fast asleep, even Hoseok who was curled up next to you. You patted his hair as you looked down at him. You jumped when you got startled by a voice. "Can’t sleep?“ Yoongi asked. 

"Nope, you either?" 

"Nah. The weed was good but I just haven’t dazed." 

"Hmm tell me a story, maybe then I’ll sleep." 

"I don’t know any stories." 

“Tell me about how you got that scar on your eye." 

"Oh. Okay. Uhm well I guess it all started when I was still living with my parents. They would always throw parties so there would be lots of drunks at the house. People I didn’t even know and I’m sure my parents didn’t know them either. I have a sibling, Jiheun. My little sister. Sweet girl. Maybe you’ll meet her one day but for the time being she’s with my grandma who lives across the country. Anyway some man stumbled into Jiheuns room but I didn’t know until I heard screaming, blood curdling screams. I ran as fast as I could to her room and she was hiding under her bed like I taught her to if anything happened. God she was so scared. The man was trying to grab her. Idiot didn’t even realize I was in there until I stomped on his spine. He got up and tried attacking me but all he could do was ram me into the mirror closet. The mirror shattered everywhere. On me, on the man, even on my sisters hand. The guy basically knocked himself out so I grabbed Jiheun and got our asses out of there as quick as possible. My parents didn’t even ask where we were the next day. They didn’t even ask about the closet or the damn man. We ended up sleeping at a friends house. We eventually went back to our house but only to grab our stuff and leave. So yeah… that’s how I got my scar on my eye. By a fucking mirror… you still awake?" 

"Yeah… wow. You’re a hero." 

"Just had to do what I had to do. You should go to sleep now okay?" 

"Okay.” And that’s what you did, knowing that you really were surrounded by good people. 

You woke up feeling someone on you. You knew it wasn’t Hoseok because he was in front you. The only other person it could have been was Namjoon. One of his arms was under your head and the other laid on your waist. You grabbed on to it but he pulled you closer. You could feel him breathing against your neck. Suddenly you felt something rise behind you, his cock. “Joon? Joon. JoooOOooon.” Why is he such a heavy sleeper? You reached back and grabbed onto his nose while also covering his mouth. It seemed to do the trick seeing as he pushed your hands away. 

“What the hell y/n?” He sleepily asked. 

“You’re all up on me. What else was I supposed to do?" 

"Say hey. Ya know, wake me up normally?" 

"Look here you piece of shit, I tried, but your dick is all up on me and you wouldn’t wake up when I called your name!" 

"Who’s dick was all up on you?” Jimin slowly got up, rubbing his and yawning.

“Namjoon.” You answered. 

“She’s lying. I wouldn’t never put my baby near her." 

"Then why is ‘your baby’ up and about?” You laughed, pointing at it. 

“It’s not!” He covered it with his hands and rushed to the bathroom. 

“What’s with all the talking? Jesus.” Jungkook woke up. 

“Joon got a boner for y/n!” Jimin laughed while throwing himself aside. 

“I did not!” Namjoon yelled from the restroom. 

“Damn guys! I could hear you from down the hall.” Jin finally arrived with a tray full of coffee. “Hurry up and take your shit down to the truck. We gotta go.” He started by waking up Hoseok and taking his own bag down. 

“Hey Yoongi?…” you pushed him a little. “Yoongi?” You poked his cheek but he still didn’t wake up. “Man what the heck. YOOOOOOOONGIIIIIII!” You yelled which made him jump of the bed, hitting his head on the wall. “Oooh shit.” You laughed, jumping off the bed, and rubbing his head. “I-I’m sorry Yoongi. I tried waking you up delicately but you wouldn’t budge." 

He looked up at you and froze a bit, "Oh uh it’s okay. I’m fine. Hopefully I don’t get a concussion haha." 

"Okay cool. Okay come on everybody! Up and at em!” You grabbed some clothes to changed into and headed to the bathroom. “Joon hurry up!" 

"Shut uuuuup! My baby needs time and care." 

"Ew.” You looked around the room to find a places to change. Oh whatever. “Hey, no one come into the closet. Imma change.” You went in and changed into some leather pants and one of the long sleeve band shirts you stole. “Alright I’m ready. Anybody need help?" 

"Can you take my stuff down to the truck?” Namjoon asked from in the bathroom. 

“What do I get from it?" 

"I got you head phones." 

"Fine.” You all brought all the stuff down to the truck, except for Namjoon that is, and were ready to go. It was Jin, Jimin, and Yoongi in the front with Jungkook, you, Hoseok in the back. Namjoon being the last person down had to also sit in the back. 

“Okay everybody ready?” Jin asked. 

“Wait! Play this!” You handed him a cd. 

~The world is lazy 

But you and me 

We’re just crazy 

So when I’m with you, I have fun 

Yeah when I’m with you, I have fun~

A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long ahh but i hope you enjoy okay? okay!


Specialshipping: i~ know~ you~ from somewhere in once upon a drea- *snoring*

Oldrivalshipping: she stole his wallet and they never parted since he’s constantly tried to get it back and got used to trailing her

Feelingshipping: feel the calm radiate off the blonde. Feel the salt radiating from the boy. Feel bad as she cries cuz her pokemon evolved. The boy is confuse

Luckyshipping: “I’ll take your badges, your moneys, your keystone, your heart, and your soul while I’m at it thanks for contributing to my charity”

Originalshipping: GOIN BAAACK TO THE BASICS*can’t remember the rest of that song for my life*

Jadeshipping: “hay cute lil girl you wanna help me steal things”

Chosenshipping: they are literally siblings d o n t

Mangaquestshipping: NICE LEGS, DAISY DUKES, MAKES A MAN GO cry because he got kicked in the balls

Preciousmetalshipping: *melts some gold and silver ore in a furnace in skyrim* so hot

Specialjewelshipping: the night is beautiful (also Capricorn and Taurus heyy)

Blacksoulshipping: polar opposite feelings also one doesn’t canonically exist but i want her to

manga heartsoulshipping brokenheartshipping: tough kid, lost kid, hay look they hangin out **still desparately wishing lyra will exist in spe future**

Viridianshipping: “hOLLA TO MY VIRIDIAN BROTHA”

Ambershipping: the flutterdash of pokespe

Lazuriteshipping (?): *stares into blue eyes* *stares at expensive looking gold star earrings*

Polishipping: *Gold tosses polibo at poli and Red* “O SHIT WADDUP”

Imperialshipping: “we could be HEDGEHOG OCS TOGETHER ”

Buttshipping: why this name tho

Depressionshipping: WHY THIS NAME THO

franticshipping: how many chapters does it take to get to the shipping confirmed chapter of ORAS? One, two, th-three- *One of them dies* th-the world may never know,,,

Raltsshipping: hey look at that cute boy why did you leave him alone


Commonershipping: cinnamon rol thinks princess is p cool

Haughtyshipping: sugarhigh boy thinks princess senpai is bEING A LITTLE PIECE of SHIT WHO WON’T N O T I C E H I M TRYING TO HELP

Absurdistshipping: it’s all fun and games until sOMEONE IS SENT TO THE DISTORTION WORLD

Entourageshipping: the gangs all here

Agencyshipping: “make a contract with me and I’ll get black out of the fucking rock, White”

Corruptionshipping: you’re hot then you’re cold, you’re team plasma, you’re the international police

Mangasequelshipping(i wanna call it pastelshipping for ironic purposes): “I wanna murder you for being a part of the thing that ruined my life but I also have the overwhelming need to protect you from everything???”

Please, don’t leave

Happy x Reader

Warning: Contains Smut, 18+

Based off song “Come Back Home” by: Lauv. 

Requested by: @ohdarlingtellerwinston

Listen here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjYo_PSdoWo

You had left, you ran away from the only family you ever had. You loved Happy, but caught him with Ima. After you beat the fuck out of Ima, and held a knife to Happys neck, you left. The things was… you did not know the whole story…

Happy did not sleep with Ima, he was drunk and went to his dorm room, you seen him laying in the bed and Ima naked. You seen red. In your head you had given Happy your all. You even shot someone who had almost shot Jax.

Weeks passed, months passed. Your home state of Michigan. You got a job a the bar, living day by day. Each day making you more and more sick to your stomach. You loved Happy, you never though in a million years he would cheat on you. However doubt clouded your judgement the moment you seen Ima.

A year had passed. Happy lost all control. Drinking heavily, his kills where getting sloppy. Like they say “Behind every strong man, is a strong woman.” Happy sat in his dorm staring at a picture of them. It was there anniversary date.

He hurd Imas vice in the club, he drew his gun, walking out to the party going off. “You dumb bitch!” Ima went to say something smart, till she seen it was Happy holding a gun to her. Juice tackled Happy to the ground, grabbing Happys gun. Happy swinging at Juice barely missing him. Jax and chibs dragging him to the dorm room. “Juice I realize you have tried to find her countless times and hours but please try again. He is going to kill or get caught r be killed by someone. Try Michigan, this is where her home state is. Gemma told me the other day.” Jax said holding Happy down. Happy head in his hands, tears falling from his eyes. Happy barley cried, Jax hugged his brother. “We will find her and bring her back..” “What if she doesn’t want to.. I can’t make her. We can’t make her.. no forcefully.. she deserves..” Jax hit him in the jaw. Knocking him out. Chibs wide eyed.

/n packed the last box into her car driving back to Charming. Juice called the apartments he finally found her staying at. She had already left, breaking her lease and paying it with cash. Saying she needed “to go home..”

Juice ran and told the guys. Hopefully, home was Charming.

y/n pulled up to Teller-Morrow after three days. Would Happy even care she was there? Would he want to talk about it? Was he fucking everybody? He was not always the most emotional guy.  Y/N walked into the shop. Jax poked his head out “Hey darl…..” He looked her over, her hair was shorter than it was before, she looked tired. Jax ran from the car hugging her. “Hey Jax..” “Do not ever, and I mean EVER leave again! I may president, but he even quit listening to me at times only on small stuff however. That man needs you..” You nodded kissing Jaxs cheek. You walked to the club house, most of the guys must have been busy. You walked to Happys dorm to see if he was there. More than likely he was. He disliked being in the house by himself even though they had a dog. y/n always secretly sending unmarked dog toys when she was gone. She opened the door, it smelt like liquor. She seen Happy passed out on the bed. She shook her head. She could be sweet, but no.. she wanted to fuck with him. She turned on the bright light. “Turn it off, before I slit your throat..” His voice making her week. “Why don’t you try killer!” Happy shook his head, he swore he hurd his voice. He closed his eyes tighter, there is no way… “Or ignore me you selfish piece of shit… Why did I even..” Happy opened his eyes to see her standing in his door way. The love of his life. The reason he breather. He stood up, slowly inching. He knelt in front of her… wrapping his arms around her legs. He had fallen low. “Get up Happy, My man doesn’t kneel and cry.” You where being harsh to snap him back. HE refused to move. You knelt down, looking into his lost eyes. “I am yours..?” “Yes Hap if you want..” “I never quitted… do not leave again please… I can not be without you.. you where probably safer…. But I didn’t even.. cheat…” “Happy… I do not care about it any more. I just want my old man…” You kissed his lips. He growled, the spark making him lose his sadness. He stood up picking you up as well. HE laid you on the bed, ripping off your shirt and pants, you doing the same. He licked his grow that was on your collar bone. “Have you..” you knew he wanted to know if anyone had touched what was his. Not that he could be mad. “Only my fingers..” HE smirked kissing down your body. The kiss searing your skin, goosebumps arising on your skin. HE slid off your panties… “Finally… the best pussy in the world…” He said, licking up and down your slit. He looked up at you, grabbing your breasts threw your bra. He inserted a finger in you, his long middle finger, much thicker than yours as well. “So wet already..” Happy wanted to start fucking you already, but he wanted to see your breasts bounce and your pussy cum on his tongue first. Happy continued t lick you, rolling his tongue expertly, teasing your clit. “Fuck.. HAPPY!” you screamed, cumm dripping from you pussy, all over his fingers. “mmmm……” Happy got naked immidetly, his cock harder than you have ever seen him. “No sex for a year little girl… I might not last long…” “What did I say about calling me little girl..” You smirked feeling him line himself up. He pushed into you. He cursed under his breath. You where so tight, so warm and so fucking wet… you screamed out, it being slightly painful. “Baby..” You whimpered. He captured your lips, holding your face gently and he moved, he could not wait for you to tell him. Soon the pain went to a familiar pleasure. His dick already throbbing in you. He wanted to make you cum again. He kept hitting the spot that made you scream in pleasure. He was fucking you as deeply as possible. His elbows on the sides of your neck, his forearms wrapped around your head slightly. Your bodies glistened with sweat. “I love you… you are my everything.. marry me again…” Happy said staring into y/c/e. “Yes.. I love you too!” Happy smiled picking up the pace. You came.. hard. Seeing stars, gasping and shaking for air as Happy came too. “I like the shorter hair..” He whispered with a chuckle. “Wow you notice..” you chuckled back, like old times. “I am glad you are not mad at me..” You said slightly. “I understand why you did. Just hear me out…” “Well that better never happen again, or I will kill you both. I have your map on where to bury the bodies.” Happy laughed nodding.

               Three months later, the wedding was beautiful just like your first. Happy put a hand on your slightly larger tummy. “Alright my little girl, I cannot wait for you to come out!” He said whispering to your tummy, the guys all sweat dropping at the normally heartless killer baby talking your tummy. “Looks like we got a princess coming out way lads! We better get better guns..” Chibs said laughing.

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping starter sentences

65 starters
feel free to change gender pronouns
content warning: cussing, sexual themes, violence

  • “Ever since I was born, I was dope.”
  • “They were hot.”
  • “That song changed my life.”
  • “Be original, be fearless.”
  • “Fuck you, traitor. I know what you’re up to.”
  • “You’re destroying everything that we have worked for!”
  • “Yo, just got my butt waxed. That shit hurt!”
  • “Yeah… Just jacked it. Um, feeling pretty mellow right now…”
  • “My belly’s full from all the pride I swallow.”
  • “I’m not your normal definition of a rockstar.”
  • “Your mom’s old, but I’ll ask if she’s your sister.”
  • “I’m so unpretentious for a genius.”
  • “You know, back in my high school days, I was in a band.”
  • “Ow, dude. You bit me, _____.”
  • “You’re my best friend. Don’t tell _____.”
  • “True love trumps all.”
  • “It’s time to make a change.”
  • “That was a game-changing moment.”
  • “Because when you have a catch phrase, the world is catched by your phrase.”
  • “Being out here in nature, away from all the people and the trappings of modern life, it’s so peaceful. There’s nothing like it.”
  • “Look, I know it sounds lame… but there’s no such thing as selling out anymore, man.”
  • “If you’re uncomfortable, we could rethink it.”
  • “_____ and I have been hanging out for six months now, and I gotta say, she’s the total package.”
  • “Well, that is not where we wanted to be, but… not bad for the day.”
  • “Why are you wearing sunscreen? It’s overcast.”
  • “It’s huge! Kill it!”
  • “A lot of people hating right now, but we feed off their hate.”
  • “Invade my cave with your special unit.”
  • “You’re an overrated piece of shit.”
  • “You’re my idol. Right next to Jesus. And Morgan Freeman.”
  • “Looks like the tip of Optimus Prime’s dick.”
  • “I did it all by myself. Nobody helped me.”
  • “Ten seconds is an eternity, _____!”
  • “The timing of that was crazy.”
  • “My psychic told me that in my previous life I was a wolf, which makes so much sense.”
  • “Ever since I met you, I knew in my heart that you were super bangin’.”
  • “_____… will you marry me?”
  • “I used to like _____, but now I wish he would just go away.”
  • “What the fuck is this garbage?”
  • “I invited _____ to come to the after-party tonight, so he might be here.”
  • “You think you know what’s up, but in fact, you, my friend, have no idea what’s going on.”
  • “Don’t call me again.”
  • “Alright, look, decide right now. Him or me.”
  • “____, you… you’re… you’re just upset and overreacting.”
  • “I need to find out who I can really trust.”
  • “You can’t just agree with everything I say.”
  • “I should have told you to fuck off years ago, but instead I just let you become a bigger and bigger dick.”
  • “You gotta know when to let go.”
  • “I get the message. I’ll go away.”
  • “Can we please turn this off?”
  • “We used to have fun. What the fuck happened?”
  • “Get up. We’re going out.”
  • “I cannot deal with the public right now.”
  • “You fucker. You tricked me.”
  • “I feel like I could’ve handled myself a little better these past few months.”
  • “This is your thing, and I’m hella proud of you, man.”
  • “What do you want me to say?”
  • “It’s crazy I spent so much time thinking about killing him.”
  • “As soon as I said it, I was kind of like, uh, maybe not.”
  • “Your hair smells and looks great.”
  • “What the fuck did you just say to me?”
  • “I will eat your fucking head!”
  • “You better learn some respect!”
  • “We have GPS, and yet we’re still lost.”
  • “This is just some revolutionary shit, man. My heart is pounding right now.”