I got bored and decided to try headcannons.
These definitely fall under crack.
-10/10 sass queen
-will vouch for you, but still reek havoc (cos he’s the God of mischief)
-ride or die, he literally would die for you, you’re his world, his future queen.
-takes things to heart, like jokes, does not understand midguardian jokes.
-“is there someone at the door,love?”
-“no Loki, it’s a joke ”
-“then what is this knock knock you speak of?”
-can not COOK TO SAVE HIS LIFE
-literally almost burnt the house down trying to make toast, this poor little bean.
-overly protective of you
-“Loki, they were just walking by”
-“but the way they looked at you, it was suspicious”
-sometimes a little too serious
-like one time you tried to have a pillow fight with him and he got angry because he was wearing his ‘good robes’
-has a tiny bit of hatred towards the sisterly/brotherly relationship you have with his brother Thor.
-thinks it’s a bit cute to watch you try to pick up mjölnir
-keeps close eyes on you, even if he’s not there.
-“Loki why did I find a frost giant in my bathroom?”
-“he’s just making sure you’re fine,love”
-“do you think I’m gonna fucking die from taking a shit?”
-“love I don’t enjoy the harsh language you use”
-he’s a cute smol bean.but so are you.
-he seems tough, but in reality crushes under pressure.
-like the time Clint was sparring with him and he got upset because of the trash talking Clint was throwing towards him.
-still wants to rule the world, but this time with you by his side.
-even after dating for so long, he still gets a tad bit blushy from kisses or hugs.
-you both are literal couple goals.
-like the way he treats you, it would make anyone jealous at the site.
-did I mention the fact that he would poof you anywhere you wanted to go??
-Russia for some reason? Poof
-his parents literally adore you.
-your fights are probably the funniest thing.
-“LOKI WHY THE HOLY SHIT ARE MY WHITE JEANS PINK?”
-“since when were defecations holy?”
-trying not to crack up in those types of situations.
Kai Parker x Reader word count : 3 910 warning : smut summary : Reader is a witch and she gets married to Kai , seemingly neither of them liking the other but on their honeymoon something happens.
* gif by vampirediaries _____________________
"Snow in the middle of July. What – the hell is THIS ?!” said Y/N walking angrily towards the lake , not even waiting for her husband to close the door of the Gilbert family cabin where they were staying for their honeymoon. “Hey , wait up.” he called out , wrapping his arms around himself. Kai looked up at the sky seeing snowflakes dancing on their way down. A grin spread across his face and he took a few steps down the porch sticking out his tongue to try and catch a few. Y/N turned towards him , trying not to laugh. “I don’t wait for anyone , specially not for you Parker.” she called out. “The sun is setting , I don’t want to miss it.” Kai laughed under his breath and ran to try and catch up to her , nearly slipping on the thin layer of snow covering the ground. Their honeymoon hadn’t been supposed to be that cold or snowy but global warming had butted in and now instead of going for a swim , they could only just watch the lake from a distance. He stopped with a sigh watching her with holding her hands on either side trying to keep her balance while almost running towards the peer. “Careful or you’ll slip on the snow and get — hurt.” Kai closed his eyes for a moment and sighed seeing his wife slip and almost slide into the lake before he caught her. “Told you so. Come on , let me help you up.” “I don’t need your help.” muttered Y/N looking up at him, whincing in pain a second later when she tried to get up. “What is it ? Are you okay ? ” he asked worried , kneeling down next to her. Y/N reached her hand towards her ankle , almost screaming out in pain when her fingertips touched it. “You got hurt.” he stated. “What ? No ! I am perfectly fine. Just — wanted to sit down for a while.” she said innocently. “In the cold — and the snow.” “Oh-kay ice princess.” he said sitting down next to her, not believing her for a second. He could see water pooling in her eyes , trying to bite the inside of her cheek to push it all away and not show any weakness. Y/N’s stuck out her tongue , trying to catch one of the few snowflakes dancing on their way down to the ground and Kai couldn’t help but smile. “You are such a child.” he teased. “You know , they melt because of your breath before they even get near your tongue.” “OH I am a child?!” she turned to him a little amused , forgetting about the pain in her ankle for a moment. “So , what were you doing exactly less than 5 minutes ago then ?!” Kai started to laugh , lightly brushing his palm against her cheek noticing how her heart rate changed when he touched her. Y/N’s skin was a little colder than his and Kai wrapped his arms around her trying to warm her up a little seeing how she was starting to shiver from the cold. Y/N turned towards Kai seeing him smile at her for a moment. Her husband looked so beautiful when he smiled , it took her breath away. Actually his entire self did. Y/N wasnt supposed to like him. They were supposed to be enemies but during the past few weeks while her parents were busy with all the wedding preparations , they had gotten to spend time together for real and something inside her had sparked slowly turning into a fire after the wedding. “I like your smile.” he said suddenly. "T-thanks.” she said blushing when Kai kissed her head , pulling her even closer to him. "Wh-what are you doing ?” “You are freezing , I am trying to help you warm up.” he said as if wasn’t obvious. Y/N blinked fast a couple of times in an attempt to clear her head. The way Kai was looking at her with warm blue eyes filled with concern and a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth , slightly brushing his palm against her cheek had her mind spinning. “Why do you care ? It’s not like our marriage means something to you.” Kai sighed. Thing was , about three weeks when he had proposed - it truly hadn’t meant anything. It had been just something to keep him entertained and her annoyed off the charts. Now things were a little different because he had started to fall for her and the idea of her getting hurt in any way was hurting him. “Because if something happens to you on our honeymoon , your parents would kill me and I’d like to remain a living — non living living being.” said her husband serious."C'mon , lets get you inside to warm up – and take care of that ankle.” “My ankle is fine.” “Sure it is.” he muttered , lifting her up in his arms and turning towards the cabin. Y/N hooked her hands around his neck for support and he couldn’t deny how good her touch made him feel. “I bet you can run too right?” “Faster than you.” she grinned. “You are enjoying this aren’t you?” “What ? Being your knight in shining armour ?” he said amused , looking at his wife. For a moment their eyes met and he felt the urge to kiss her , for real this time not just a peck on the lips for the benefit of her parents but he stopped himself. “Not enjoying seeing you in pain sweetheart.” Y/N studied his face trying to figure out if he was being serious or not. She still couldn’t believe what Kai had done - offering himself to be her husband, saying he wants to marry her. Doing all of this with the soul purpose to annoy her , no doubt. The girl couldn’t believe her parents had said ‘yes’ either and all of this to uphold a stupid coven tradition where the child of the coven leaders marries a leader of another coven in a unification ceremony of sorts. “A little help ?” Y/N sighed and flicked her wrist opening the door and Kai kicked it closed right after. He let her down on the couch , propping her leg on the coffee table. They’ve been engaged to be married for almost a month before the wedding and she still couldn’t grasp why he had done what he had. Kai had overheard Y/N’s parents had been offered another suitor , one much older than her and however much this girl annoyed him or got under his skin making his blood boil like no one else, he couldn’t let her get married and — move away forever. Just thinking about it had started breaking him to pieces. Sometimes he wondered if he had been falling for her even then. “No wonder you slipped.” he sighed , pushing her hands away and taking her shoes off for her. “Converses and snow do not mix well.” “It wasn’t supposed to snow.” she muttered taking her jacket off , semi laying on the couch with one hand over her forehead. Her ankle was starting to throb and a part of her didn’t want to look at it but when Kai took off her shoe she flinched in pain and caught a glimpse of it. “I think I’m going to be sick.” Kai glanced at her with concern in his eyes. Y/N hadn’t just twisted her ankle , it appeared her bone had cracked and her ankle was already a mix of purple / red and blue all at once. “Hey, hey. Don’t look at the ankle. Look at me.” he said placing his hands over her ankle. “Remember that time you thought I tried to kiss you and you splashed me with your club soda ?” “OH how can I forget about it ? It was last night.” she started to laugh , feeling a warmth spread through her ankle from Kai’s hands. “Why did you even try to do that?” “Hey , I was just trying to reach for the — coffee maker behind you.” he laughed , it’s not my fault you are so full of yourself and think everything is about you.“ "Full of myself ?!” “Yeah , what else would you call your attitude ?” he asked amused , rubbing his hands on her ankle for a moment. “There — all healed up.” "Thanks. Why are you being so nice to me? You don’t even like me.“ she wondered , watching Kai grab a bottle with bourbon from one of the kitchen cabinets along with two glasses. "That’s just the thing — turns out that I do like your annoying self.” he said giving her one of the glasses. “You are the only one who gave me a chance after the merge and even before that - you treated me like a person , not like — someone who doesn’t matter.” Y/N took a sip , closing her eyes for a moment feeling the alcohol burn down her throat.
"Damn , that thing burns.”
Kai laughed under his breath. “I take it you haven’t had alcohol before ?” “With parents like mine , I am lucky they let me drink half a glass with wine on Thanksgiving.” “Ahhh so I am corrupting you ? Makes sense.” he laughed placing his hand on her hip. “I wonder what else I can do to you —” Y/N wasn’t listening. Ever since their official engagement Kai kept doing that - finding every excuse to put his hands on her. It was driving her nuts how he can go from sweet and charming to his annoying self in a split second and no matter how much she tried to deny it she loved how his touch made her feel all tingly on the inside. A sigh left her lips and she finished her glass in an attempt to drown the way his hand on her hip was making her feel. "What are you doing?“ she wondered seeing his hand move a little higher , stopping at her stomach for a moment. Kai glanced at her , listening to her heart rate increase with every second his hand kept going higher and higher almost to her breasts before she pushed it off. "I told you we are not doing that.” "I know, I am just messing with you. Lighten up a bit.“ he grinned at her and his hand slipped on her thigh again way too close to her core. Kai wondered why it bothered him that Y/N didn’t want to sleep with him. Why would heart rate increase like that if she didn’t feel a thing about him in that way ? "Stop it.” "Why ? I can hear your heart , you like me touching you that way.“ he said innocently. "We don’t have to do anything ever. We are both clear on that but legally you can’t deny me touching you.” Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat feeling her skin on fire more and more each time his hand moved on her body and she was sure he could notice the change in her breathing too. Kai leaned in towards her gazing into her eyes with a small smile on his face when his hand slipped between her legs brushing against her core and she slipped down on the couch pushing her hips down on him. "Told you, you like it when I touch you.“ he grinned. Y/N rolled her eyes and got up walking right past him , heading towards the stairs. "I am going to take a shower.” "I am coming with you.“ he said getting up right after her. Y/N stopped abruptly making him bump into her a second later. "No. You are staying here.” "Relax Y/N.“ he said placing his hands on her waist. "I am not going in with you. Just want to make sure you don’t slip on the floor. Need I remind you in what state your ankle was a few minutes ago? What if I didn’t heal it properly and you slip and hit your head?” Y/N sighed taking Kai’s hand leading him upstairs and letting go off him at the door. Her husband leaned against the door frame folding his arms on his chest, watching her hands starting to pull her shirt up until she noticed he was watching. “A little privacy ?” “Why ? We are married.” he said sitting on her bed. “At some point I will see you naked , you know that right?” Y/N rolled her eyes, stepping inside the bathroom to change, closing the door fully or so she thought. The door remained open ajar and Kai couldn’t resist taking a peek at what she was doing. His wife pulled her shirt over her head and pushed her jeans down her slim legs , stripping down completely right after. His breath got caught in his throat and he couldn’t stop those kind of thoughts from flooding his mind anymore. Kai tilted his head a little to get a better view and bit his lip. He wondered what it would feel like tracing every inch of her body with his fingertips or how hearing her scream his name while he made her his would sound. “So freaking sexy.” he muttered to himself. “Did you say something ?” “No. Nothing.” he said louder. A moment later Y/N stepped into the shower and he heard the water running. Kai laid on her bed , listening to what was happening in the bathroom. Y/N was humming some song and quite possibly dancing by the sounds of it. Curiosity won over and he got up moving a little closer to the door trying to figure out what the song was - it sounded familiar but not familiar enough. He pushed the door slightly more open and for a few moments he watched her through the almost see through curtain. Y/N was swaying her hips slightly still humming but another song this time. Kai couldn’t help but smile — or feel how his pants had started to tighten around him. He shook his head for a moment , mouthing ‘No , no. You are not doing this. She will kill you.’ , caving in a moment later. He stripped down quickly and stepped inside not taking his eyes off the shower curtain seeing her hands travel up and down her body along with the soapy sponge while he stepped in the shower with her. Kai looked her up and down , his hands hovering over every curl of her body anticipating the moment he’d touch her. He smiled for a second biting his lip while wrapping his hands around her and kissing her neck. For a moment Y/N threw her head back , enjoying his touch. His hands explored her body roaming all over , cupping her breasts and pulling her towards him , unable to stop himself from doing what he wanted. He could hear her heart beat increase dangerously and her breathing turning uneven with every touch. “I thought you said you are not going in with me.” she said pulling away from him. Y/N expected him to leave but instead he pulled her towards him again , showering her with kisses while slipping one of his hands down her stomach towards her heat. It shouldn’t have felt that good but it did - the way his fingers softly caressed her clit drawing circles on it sent dozen butterflies in her stomach , joined by another dozen every time he kissed her neck. Every touch made her surrender to him and Y/N wondered why she hadn’t wanted him to do any of this. “I meant it when I said it.” he said softly , nibbling on her earlobe for a moment. “But seeing you strip down - the way your hands moved on your body and your hips swaying around while you kept humming that song — it drove me nuts.” Kai smiled to himself hearing her moan a little louder when his fingers started moving faster on her clit before dipping two fingers inside her , going in to the last knuckle , curling them around slowly before pulling out and going in again setting her on fire each time. Y/N pushed her hips down on his fingers and reached her hand back , brushing her palm against his cheek and moving it towards the back of his head. “Kai –” she moaned feeling her walls contract around him , spurring him to go faster. Every curl threw her into another fire , making her mind go fuzzier by the second. Everything she could feel and think about was Kai and how much she wanted him. Feeling his lenght pressing against her thigh , hard and ready for her only made her want him more. Y/N had never thought she wanted him this way or at least she had never admitted it to herself or anyone else. This desire had been there probably since the moment they had met. “So tight around my fingers.” said Kai in her ear. “It will feel so good stretching you out later.” “L-later ?” she moaned , reaching back between their bodies and wrapping her fingers around his lenght , stroking him at a steady pace while drawing circles on the tip with her thumb. “MMmm … Keep doing that and it will be in 5 seconds.” he moaned in her ear. “You are driving me completely nuts.” Y/N turned her head towards him , biting her lip for a moment and nearly screaming his name in the next as her orgasm tore through her body while Kai held her steady. Slowly she turned around feeling his hands moving towards her waist. Kai looked hotter than ever with his wet hair and water dripping down his bare chest she couldn’t resist placing her hands on his chest feeling his muscles flex under them while she moved them to the back of his head. Her fingers tangled in his wet hair and she pulled him down for a kiss. The moment their lips touched it was like a switch went off in his brain and he backed her against the wall , his hands roaming her body all over not knowing where to start. Their lips moved in perfect sync deepening the kiss with every second while their tongues swirled together fighting for dominance until Kai pulled away leaving them both breathless. “I think that was our first real kiss.” he whispered with a small smile, resting his forehead on hers. They stared at each other for a long moment, their hearts racing like crazy and their lips collided again in a hungry demanding kiss , pouring every emotion they had suppressed for the other into it. Kai’s hands slipped down her back , hitching around her thighs a few seconds before he whispered ‘Jump.’ and her legs pushed off the ground and wound around his waist. He shoved her against the wall drowning her in a passionate kiss while his wife’s hands wrapped around his neck pulling him towards her unable to get enough. Kai teased her with the tip of his lenght for a few moments before entering her with one hard thrust, withdrawing slowly and pushing inside her again leaving her craving more each.He changed the pace between slow making her feel every inch of him on the way in and on the way out and a little faster filling her to the brim every time. “Fuck you are so tight around me.” moaned Kai resting his forehead on hers not taking his eyes off her. Y/N’s eyes gleamed with something he had never seen before and he already knew he was the reason for it. As if in a trance Y/N reached her hand , stopping the water wanting to listen just to their moans colliding in perfect harmony. Her walls tightened around him , feeling her orgasm approaching and he picked up the pace making her body jolt upward almost with every thrust , turning her moans into small screams. Purple / black veins flashed under his eyes and her heart stopped for a second. “So hot when you do that.” she moaned , pulling his lips closer to hers kissing him passionately. Kai already knew - after this there was no way he’d ever let go off her or let something happen to her. He was hers and she was his , from this moment on until the end of forever. “Y/N —” he moaned , gazing into her eyes. In a flash he whooshed them off the shower , tossing her onto the bed not carrying about the water drops on the sheets or the ones that fell all over the room when he shook his head. Kai crawled over his wife pinning her hands on either side of her head , picking up right where they had left off in the shower. Their fingers intertwined together , each thrust deeper and harder than the last as if he wanted to bury his entire self inside her. Y/N threw her head back , slightly arching her back off the wall each time he hit her spot. She felt his lenght twitch inside her and his thrusts getting a little slopping but still hard and fast making her walls clench around him a little more frequently as her orgasm approached. “OH FUck – ” she screamed.“Kai I’m s-so clo-se -” “Me too sweetheart -” Her husband rested his forehead on hers not taking his eyes away for a second , his breath hitting her face every time his lenght pushed inside her. Y/N looked so beautiful in that moment with her eyes rolling to the back of her head , her body shaking under him when her orgasm tore through her screaming his name. “So hot when you scream my name.” he groaned his lips crashing against hers a moment later , drowning her in a passionate kiss as he came in hot spurts inside her. Kai didn’t not stop or slow down his movements riding through both their orgasms until they were both finished before collapsing on top of her , trying to catch his breath. He didn’t have to use his vampire hearing to know her heart was about to burst , beating so fast he could feel it trying to escape her chest. “That was —” “Wow -” Kai rolled onto the bed , turning his head towards her grinning. “Well , I guess we are now officially married , you know — having done it and everything.” Y/N turned towards him laughing , intertwining her fingers with his. Kai glanced at their hands intertwined together and then at his wife. “Wh-what does that mean ?” he wondered. “Nothing — my dear husband.” “Does that mean I can call you my wife?” he wondered. “Because I kind of like it. Kai’s wife. My wife. It has such a nice ring to it miss Y/N Parker.” Y/N started to laugh. “I like how that sounds.” Kai grinned. “Can I sleep here tonight?” “No.” “W-why not ?” “You can’t sleep here.” she said serious.“You will sleep here — or else.”
Imagine Chris finding out you got into a minor car accident.
A/N: This is a request from @rileyloves5, I’m so sorry but I didn’t really follow your prompt. I wanted to, but my brain sorted went in its own direction. But it’s still fluffy and I hope you still like it. X (Side note: How hot does Chris look in that Gif?)
Chris rushed through the busy hallways of Boston General’s emergency room, frantically looking for the ward you were in. Your doctor, Isaac, who was also a friend of Chris’, had texted him about the minor car accident you were in after you specially told him not to. The last thing you wanted was your incredibly protective husband making a fuss over a few scrapes and bruises, and yelling at your neighbor, Alex, whose fault it was not when that drunk driver clipped his car. In fact, none of it would’ve happened if you’d just waited at home like Chris had told you to; he was perfectly fine with the idea of a cab. But no, you had to insist on picking him up from the airport even though you didn’t drive and the airport was about an hour away from your shared home. So here you were with scrapes on your pretty face, a bruised shoulder, a little bit of whiplash, and Alex freaking out because he knew what Chris was like when it came to you.
“He’s going to kill me, Y/N,” Alex bit; his tone filled with anger and angst. “Captain America is going to kill me because you’re too afraid to drive and too stubborn to listen to him.” You winced, pressing your lips together because it was your fault and you had nothing to say. “Oh God,” he buried his scratched up face in his hands.
“We’ll just tell him it’s my fault-” you began.
“It is your fault!” Alex cut you off, frowning. “I was in bed, but you wouldn’t stop ringing my doorbell.” You gave him your best apologetic look, which always worked on him; you’d been best friends for a while now, ever since he moved in four years ago and you brought over a basket of chocolate chip muffins. “I knew the muffins were a trap,” he tried not to chuckle when you did.
“I’m really sorry-”
“Save it for my eulogy.”
“Oh come on, you two.” Isaac chuckled softly. “I’ve known Chris for a while now and I don’t think-” He was cut off when Chris stormed into the room, pouncing on Alex after giving you a quick glance to make you sure you were still in one piece.
“You son of a bitch!” Chris grabbed Alex by the shirt, pulling him off the chair he was sitting on and onto his feet. “You could’ve gotten her killed!” He growled, his angry face inches away from Alex’s terrified one. You couldn’t tell from looking at Chris because he was always so sweet and smiley, but he could be really scary when he wanted to be.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”
“And you,” Chris turned his attention onto you as he released his grip on Alex’s shirt, shoving him back in the process. “What the hell were you thinking?” He stalked over to you, his furious but worried gaze burning into your skin. “Didn’t I tell you to just wait at home? Why did you have to insist on coming to the airport?”
“I don’t know,” you mumbled sheepishly.
“Look at you,” Chris furrowed his brows as he gently caressed your face in his hands. “Oh God,” his eyes fell on your neck brace, “are you in a lot of pain?” He asked but didn’t give you time to answer; he turned to Isaac. “Is she okay? Can she walk? Have you given her an x-ray? Does she need a CAT scan?”
“What? No,” Isaac laughed. “It was a minor accident, Chris. She’s fine, she’s just got a few scrapes and bruises. She doesn’t even need the neck brace, she just wanted to see what it felt like.” Chris glanced back to you with tightly pursed lips, making you laugh at a very inappropriate time. “She’s fine and you can take her home.”
“Cut it out,” Chris scolded you, ignoring his own urge to laugh because he was still annoyed at you. “Do you even know how worried I was?” He asked with narrowed eyes and you pressed your lips together to stop yourself from laughing. “The entire cab ride over, I was panicking thinking something horrible happened to you.”
“I’m sorry,” you took off the neck brace and got to your feet, wrapping your arms around his waist. He huffed, audibly displaying his annoyance but hugged you back anyway. “I told Isaac not to text you, but he insisted.”
“Good, because I told him to text me if you ever come in.” You scoffed and looked over at Isaac. “He’s the only way I’ll find out about your injuries and accidents ‘cause someone,” Chris looked down at you with disapproving eyes, “never tells me anything. Apparently she doesn’t want me to worry about her, even though it’s my job as your husband.”
“I don’t want to distract you from work,” you defended yourself.
“I think you not telling me is more distracting,” he chuckled softly, pressing a kiss on the top of your head. “I’d rather know everything than be surprised. Like you, my little control freak,” he teased you as he pulled away, “I’m not a fan of surprises.”
“Well…” Isaac began and both you and Chris turned to him. “I think there’s one surprise you both might like.” Chris shared a confused glance with you; you shrugged. “Earlier, when I ran a blood test for you, after you told me you think you’re coming down with a stomach bug?” You nodded. “Well, that fatigue and nausea is actually because-”
“Oh my God,” Chris gasped and a huge smile broke out on his face. “Is she-”
“Pregnant?” You finished.
“Yeah,” Isaac nodded, smiling. “Congratulations, you’ve got a baby on the way.”
“I’m going to be a dad!” Chris cheered, hugging you tightly and lifting your off the floor. You chuckled and hugged him back, smiling. “Yes, we’re going to be parents!” He was beyond excited, all the angst and annoyance he had due to the accident faded.
Having a kid was a discussion both of you have had over the past year. Chris had always wanted kids whereas you were still on the fence, but you loved Chris and you wanted a family with him so you made a deal with him; you’d leave it up to the universe. You stopped not trying to have children, and if it happened, it happened. Guess the universe finally decided you were ready for a little one.
“Guess insisting on going to the airport was a good thing after all.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Chris chuckled, brushing your cheek with the pad of his thumb. “But just so you know,” he pecked your check and whispered into your ear, “I’m not letting you out of my sight for the next nine months.”