why did i do this to myself i don't know why don't ask just

anonymous asked:

Tree bros body swap au?

(Ive seen one of these already and I’ve been dying to have a take at it)

  • They are both in the nurses office, Evan just having his head flushed down a toilet and Connor being just beaten up. They don’t talk to each other at first but make a lot of eye contact, wondering what happen to the other boy.
  • When Connor does say something, he asks why the hell is he in here? He doesn’t seem beaten up.. Was he faking a head injury or something?
  • Evan doesn’t respond, but nods because he kind of just wanted to go home.
  • Connor wishes he could go home too, but he knows a black eye and a bloody nose isn’t even enough for anyone in his family to even notice him.
  • Evan wishes he was tough like Connor, he wished he wasn’t such a baby and had to fake injury to get out of school.
  • A silent agreement happens that they wish they had each others lives, Then they switch
  • Connor just feels really short, his head hurts a bit but he feels great.. Evan however…
  • Evan feels like he going to throw up, he’s never felt this much pain in his life, his face stings his hands sting. He feels like he’s deep thrown in a garbage disposal.

“Connor what the heck!”


“I dont know!? I guess we switched or something.. Come to think of it this isn’t half bad..”


“Connor!”


“what? My life sucks! Personally i won’t mind staying like this..”

  • Connor and Evan have to meet up after school to get to know everything about each other.
  • Evan tells him about his mom, how she’s the best person in the whole world and if Connor throws a printer at her he won’t hesitate to shave Connors head
  • Connor agrees because he loves his floof
  • Connor is totally fine with Evan in his body, But he makes one rule clear..
  • “Dont talk to Zoe… Don’t even look at her Hansen.. You hear me?”
  • (He knows about the note)
  • P R O T E C T I V E C O N N E R
  • They get sent on their own ways, Connor heading home with Mrs Hansen, and Evan attending a few more classes before having a panic attack in the bathroom because ‘Jesus christ Connor murphy is a horrible person what is his life at home going to be like’
  • Evan starts to look around the parking lot for something that says “Im edgy! Connor Murphy’s car!” Or something like that..
  • Z O E A L  E R T
  • She goes up to Evan and there is never a more awkward conversation
  • “Connor! Where the hell are you going?”

“Home…..”

“Im giving you a ride you idiot.. Or are you too high to remember that mom and dad took your car?”

“Uh… Right.. Um.. thanks the.”

“How high are you?”

“High…like.. drugs high? Oh shoot i do drugs right”

  • Zoe thinks “Connor” is just reeeally high so she tries not to talk to him on the car ride home.
  • She almost crashes when Evan tries to starts up a friendly conversation about her day.
  • Evan listens to Connor and immediately goes to his room, only to be disgusted when he realizes theres gotta be a dead thing in here because Damn it reeks
  • Evan cants take it any longer and he goes downstairs to request frebreze from Cynthia to spray around the room.
  • FAMILY DINNER TIME
  • Evan is so shook he has no idea what the hell he’s supposed to say/do because he’s never eaten dinner at a table with a group of people before.
  • He actually ends up talking at the table because someone asked him how his day went, he talks about His day (Evan) and Cynthia is just so surprised that he answered.
  • Zoe is so confused “What the hell is wrong with my brother..”
  • Of course Larry thinks he’s high and sends him away to him room.
  • Evan has a fit in the room and ends up falling asleep and missing a planned call from Connor to talk about the next day.
  • Connor on the other hand…
  • Connor waits for Evans mom but starts to get seriously hungry, he makes pasta and waits for Evans mom still… She never shows up..
  • Connor gives up waiting and goes outside to smoke, Then stops..
  • He can’t hurt Evans body like that.. Evan wouldn’t want it.. So he doesn’t smoke.
  • Connor calls Evan like 8 times and Zoe ends up finally picking up the phone.
  • “Evan? Why are you calling my brother?”

“Zoe! shi-.. Give Connor the phone i need to talk to him..”

“Um.. He’s asleep.. Why are you calling him?”

“I um.. We um.. I just need to..”

  • Reaaaal smooth Connor
  • The next day, Evan and Connor meet up before school to trade schedules and go to each others classes, its doesn’t go well..
  • Evan ends up getting lost (How? idk) And just panics in the bathroom once more.
  • Connor just skips like.. all of the classes, Only to find Jared skipping as well..
  • A BO RT A B OR T  JA RE D IS APP ROA C HIN G
  • Jared is just a concerned boi for his family friend.. Evan never misses classes unless he’s having a panic attack.. But if he is he’s usually not walking around the school…
  • He goes up to Connor (as Evan) and asks if he’s okay.
  • “EVAN” CURSES HIM OUT AND HE ALMOST THROWS UP IN THE HALLWAY BECAUSE WHO KNEW LITTLE EVAN COULD SAY SUCH THINGS.
  • Evan finds Connor and Jared and asks whats wrong, Connor says what happened. 
  • Evan starts to cry because his only friend will never want to talk to him again.
  • Connor starts to freak out and tell Evan to “Shut the hell up” But Jared is watching at this point.
  • CONFUSED B O I
  • Jared doesn’t believe them at first after they tell him but then he gives in as Connor (Evan) Starts talking about how they met in preschool and there is no way he told that to Connor Murphy
  • Jared starts to research how to fix it while Evan and Connor go over some ground rules for each other
  • CONNOR’S RULES:
  1. “Don't talk to anyone in the family, and if you absolutely have, talk in one word sentences and responses.”
  2. “Don't you dare ever come to school wearing a dorky blue color without having the hoodie over it.”
  3. “Just… Avoid Zoe…”
  4. “If Larry asks if your high say yes because its an easy excuse.”

EVAN’S RULES:

  1. “Be careful around my mom… shell know something is up..”
  2. “If she asks you about refills.. say you’re fine.. um, they’re for my anxiety.. Im not sure if you need them but-”
  3. “Dont shower”

“What?”

“I don’t want you to.. um, yknow..”

“Jesus christ Evan I won’t look..”

“Just don’t do it ok-”

    4.” I have therapy this weekend.. So.. Don’t like, be super open to questions and stuff.. he’ll know something is w-wrong..”

   5. “P-please don’t smoke.. i just.. i don’t-”

  • And off they go, Evan riding home with Zoe once more and Connor walking to Evans house. praying that they’ll switch back..
  • Jared ends up telling Alana what happened, she just rolls with it because who knows maybe Jared is right?
  • Connor has almost fallen asleep when Evan comes bursting into his room.
  • He doesn’t have his hoodie on…. so he can see the scars…
  • Connor spends the next hour or so trying to explain why he did it and confirming over and over that he won’t do it again anytime soon.
  • Evan just ends up staying the night there as they have a-lot to talk about..
  •  Connor explains to Evan why he’s so mad and angry all the time.. And he wouldn’t be surprised if Evan started to act like the because he’s hanging out with his family..
  • Evan explains why he broke his arm.. Connor then immediately feels bad for pushing him over..
  • As the night goes on… They come closer and closer.. revealing things to each other that they never shared with anyone..
  • Connor kisses Evan and Evan is just straight up shocked
  • “Wha-”

“Don’t think of it as a personal thing.. I just.. is it weird that I’ve always wanted to make out with myself?”

“Y-ye-s? No? i dont kn-…”

  • They hang out a lot more after that.. Not because of the kiss.. no.. right?
  • Zoe thinks they’re dating, and starts to question Evan (as Connor) about it.
  • “Have you kissed yet?”

“Wha- I um…”

“Omg you have! I never thought id see the day.. You have seemed different now that you started to date him..”

“We’re not dating..!”

  • Cynthia starts to like her new acting son.. He’s a little anxious but something about that Evan boy is definitely changing him.
  • Larry is super suspicious, but Zoe protects her brother and says he hasn’t done drugs in like.. months.
  • LA RRY GETS CONNOR TO PLAY BASEBALL WITH HIM SO HES HAPPY
  • Connor loves mrs Hansen… Enough said.
  • They have movie nights, late night eating junk food, He takes her out on a walk one day.. Its just So pure
  • One time, Connor and Evan are hanging out in Evans house and Mrs Hansen shows up to ask if they want something to eat And Evan starts to C RY
  • HE MISSES HIS MOM SO MUCH AH
  • Zoe shows up to pick up Evan…  and Connor realizes he Misses her
  • They both just… miss their lives so much… Its been a month.. Like,, bring the bois home.
  • JARED BURSTS IN AND HE H A S A C U R E
  • They switch back, both sobbing with happiness as Jared stands in the back kinda awkwardly..
  • Of course they thank Jared what kind of monster do you think i am
  • Finally, they go back to their homes, Connor literally hugs Zoe which is new.. But she rolls with it.
  • Evan is just sobbing in his mothers arm saying how much he missed her
  • They both agree that they should date because they know each other better then anyone else.
  •  SO MA NY INSI DE J OK ES
  • Evan is just so comfortable around the Murphy’s, same thing with Connor and Mrs Hansen.
  • A pure duo

(Add on if you like!)

How them 2000s live actions kids shows be
  • Normal Girl: *internally* I'm just a normal high school girl. I suck at math. I hate my parents. When someone asks me about my opinion on complex socioeconomic issues, I just go "What the heck!?" and start "texting" or something like that. My life would be just like yours, except for one thing: I have an amazing power... I can talk to cetaceans!
  • *at the docks, a bell tolls as our normal protagonist hears the voices of cetaceans bubbling in her mind*
  • Normal Girl: *staring deeply into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: Ahoy! What're you doing?
  • Normal Girl: Just staring into the oceanic abyss, thinking about how much I hate my parents. *internally* I have to keep my ability to speak to cetaceans secret or else... uh...
  • Best Friend: Haha, I feel that, friend. What a colorful life we teens live, our seaside environment awakening a rumbling darkness within ourselves of which we mull on our own with nothing but the unbounding depths of the ocean as our one escape. An escape which serves to only maim our fragile egos with newfound adolescent anxieties.
  • Normal Girl: What are you even talking about?
  • Best Friend: I don't know. I haven't slept in a week. Let's go to the mall.
  • *at the mall*
  • Normal Girl: *internally* My town might as well be called Lamesville. Nothing ever happens here, but the mall can be pretty fun. It's only place in the whole town with anything in it that isn't fish or excessive amounts of woodlice.
  • Best Friend: ...So I'd just dance and I'd dance until my feet broke. When that happened, I'd just get up and dance on my broken feet. And I did this until they were raw and blood was everywhere. I kept waking up in the morning extremely exhausted after this dream. I decided to record myself one night and it turns out I was dancing in my sleep. I haven't slept since I saw that. *leans in close to the normal girl* I'm afraid of what I'll do in my sleep.
  • Normal Girl: Wow, sounds weird... I guess. *sips coffee*
  • Best Friend: OMIGAWD! It's Chad Alphakid. He's coming this way!
  • *the normal girl and her best friend squee*
  • Normal Girl: *externally* That's Chad Alphakid. Who is he? He's only the hottest most coolest boy in this entire lame city. I've been crushing on him since I was like twelve.
  • Chad: Uh, okay.
  • Normal Girl: Did I just say that out loud!?
  • Chad: *sits at the table* Listen, I don't care what you or your friend think of me. I need help!
  • Best Friend: Have you murdered somebody?
  • Normal Girl: Do you need a girlfriend?
  • Chad: No, it's the ocean. The sound of her waves crashing against the shore is like a faultless siren song. There isn't a single night where I don't have visions of floating within her cold embrace. The allure of her boundless depths beckon to me like a lover. I'm afraid that if I don't get help soon, I'll find myself taken away by her to a fate unknown.
  • Normal Girl: *internally* Great, this is a chance to finally use my power to speak to cetaceans to my benefit! *externally* But why do you need us to help you?
  • Chad: You guys are the biggest fucking degenerate weirdos in this washed up town. If anyone knows how to deal with this, it's you two.
  • Best Friend: Haha, truuuuuu!
  • Normal Girl: I'm not a weirdo! I'm a completely normal girl.
  • Chad: Dude, you fucking talk to fish.
  • Best Friend: You do talk to fish.
  • Normal Girl: I don't talk to fish! *internally* I talk to cetaceans, they're mammals, not fish. Also, that's supposed to be a secret, dammit!
  • *at the shore*
  • Chad: Ah, Mother Ocean! Take me!! Take me!!! *attempts to run into the ocean, but gets held back by the normal girl and her best friend*
  • Best Friend: Simmer down, aqualad!
  • Chad: Why did you fools take me here, if not to release into the embrace of sweet Mother Ocean!?
  • Normal Girl: We talked it over and we decided that the best way to get you over your obsession is make you hate the ocean.
  • Chad: Does it involve you talking to fish?
  • Normal Girl: Yes, I mean no. I mean, fuck! Cetaceans aren't fish.
  • *the normal girl sits at the edge of shore, her eyes rolls up in her head as she proceeds to make fucked up porpoise sounds*
  • Normal Girl: *falls over limp*
  • Best Fried: She died.
  • Chad: Does this mean that I'm free to wade into Mother Ocean and meet my fate among her ever chaotic waes?
  • Best Friend: *lets chad go* Yeah, dude. I'm too far gone to care about things anymore.
  • Chad: *strips off all of his clothes* Good. I now understand that there was no avoiding this. This was always a forgone conclusion. My fate is with the waves. Sayonara, weird best friend guy.
  • Chad: *runs into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: *kicks the normal girl's body* Guess she really is dead.
  • Best Friend: *walks home as the night encroaches* My closest friend is dead, and Chad is probably dead too. I wonder where my fate lies?
  • Best Friend: *yawns* Maybe I should go to sleep and just dance myself to death finally. No, I don't think I could go to sleep even if I wanted to anymore. I'm probably going to die from exhaustion in the next few days, not having felt rest or comfort again. Or maybe I'll just stay awake forever. I feel like I was supposed to have an epiphany here, or some type of awakening. But, there's nothing. I feel like everything I've ever done has been pointless. God, I'm just really tired.
  • *back at the shore*
  • Porpoise: *beaches itself*
  • *a gray fleshy version of the normal girl crawls halfway out of the porpoises mouth*
  • Normal Girl: There goes my corpse! *drags her weird porpoise body towards the corpse* Why did I die with such a dumb expression on my face? Lame! I hope Chad didn't see.
  • Normal Girl: *looks around with beady eyes* No one's here. I can finally do this.
  • Normal Girl: *kisses her dead body on the lips* Blargh!
  • Normal Girl: *spits out blood* I bit my tongue when I died. Gross. I guess I can cross making out with my dead body and becoming a mermaid off of my bucket list, though.
  • Normal Girl: *sighs*

anonymous asked:

Ah I don't mean to bother you but do you have any advice on how to deal with depression I'm sorry for bothering you I just don't know what to do

 Hey, it’s ok yeah you can totally ask me. I’m probably not the best person to go to because I’m not a therapist or whatever, but I definitely have experience with dealing with Depression so, I’ll tell what you helped me. and hope that maybe it helps you in some way shape or form. 

So when I was in this abusive relationship with my ex, I hit total rock bottom and I have never been so low in my entire life. Honestly if you met me now, and then met me like 2 years ago, you literally would be talking to two different people it was so bad. but I don’t need to go into detail or describe depression. I’m sure you already know what it is very very well. 

So, the killer about Depression is that you feel empty, sad, angry, etc etc, and it’s kills all motivation and drive and inspiration to do the things that you once enjoyed ya know? like, you no longer enjoy doing whatever your hobbies were, and you have no interest in doing them anymore. Depression tells you that you want to is sleep, eat/not eat, sit and stare at nothing, do nothing, not talk to friends or family. And because Depression is so strong, it’s easy to fall into doing those things of just not doing anything, and isolate yourself from any form of social interaction with friends and family etc. And a lot of the time you feel like that’s all you can do, like you don’t have the literal energy to do anything else such as something as simple as getting up out of bed after sleeping in over 10 hours or something. (it’s not laziness, it’s depression.) 

Well those things that Depression makes you want to do, is the exact opposite of what you should do. And those things Depression says you hate and don’t want to do, – all those hobbies, or getting up and taking a walk, talking to friends, doing something, is exactly what you need to do, to help you with your depression. The best medicine I find is distractions, and not letting it control you. It’s tough, especially emotionally, and you’re gonna hate it for a really long time, but eventually doing all those things you useto like, and now hate, the likeness to it starts to come back. but it’s easier said than done, and it takes a LOT OF WORK! and it’s hard. but you can do it! 

Trying to find some kind of reason or obligation helps too. like what really got me on the stepping stones of doing better is I got this Indie game job, and I was given the like impossible task to make over 100 little paintings (all the custom artwork) in 3 and a half weeks, high quantity, in high quality. It forced me to paint and draw even though I had like no interest in art because of the major depression I was feeling, and that job forced me to draw 8 to sometimes 15 hours a day. It was brutal, and for a bit I hated having to draw so much cuz I didn’t really enjoy art, but then forcing myself to get up and do something I hate (but once loved) I started to like it again. And then when the Indie game ended, I wanted to keep pushing myself to improve and have a reason to keep me drawing, which is why I started Youtube. And it really helped me build my confidence and fight against the depression. 

Now the thing is, Depression never goes away, it’s a mental illness and it’s not something you can get rid of like a virus or bacteria. BUT FEAR NOT! just hear me out!  It’s a constant battle everyday. You can’t be cured, and no amount of therapy or med can change that. Don’t fall into the misconception that meds/therapy fixes the issues, because it doesn’t. It is HELP. and Help isn’t fixing, it is assistance for YOU to fix things. So getting medical or therapeutic help is definitely good and I promote it, but you can’t rely on it to fix your problems, because it has to be you to put forth the initiative, which is why I told you what I did above first. Meds and therapy try to regulate your hormones and work out solutions for you to deal with the issues in yourself and your environment so you can work out your depression. so the goal in getting better isn’t to find a cure, even still to this day I struggle with it a lot, and I have my moments and my episodes sometimes. BUT I’m not saying you’re going to be miserable for the rest of your life, because the truth is, you can be happy, while having depression. 

The goal is to learn how to maintain and live with it, so you aren’t controlled by it. I have control over my depression right now, and despite that it’s still always there in the back of my mind and it resurfaces sometimes, I’m actually very happy and have become a pretty stable person. (especially compared to who I use to be) 

So start by forcing yourself to get up, doing small things, try to seek out interests that distract you from depression, but also force yourself to fulfill responsibilities (work, school, chores, etc) which helps you get stronger and start gaining control of the depression. Seriously something I find very helpful is going on a walk. It’s easy to just slump around or sleep in bed and never get up, but walking, (that thing that you don’t want to do) actually helps a lot, and there’s a scientific reason for it too, not just it sounding nice. But the more you can do for yourself, and others even, the better you’ll feel, even if it doesn’t seem that way or a long time. It takes a lot of time to crawl out of the rut you’re in, but you’ll get the if you just keep going. 

I know I don’t give the best advice, but, I hope this helps in some way. 

Matthew Daddario Quotes
  • "We call our shoes ‘sneakers,’ right? But they're not really sneaking."
  • "Can't wait till they invent phones with keyboards."
  • "I don't know this guy. He came to hang out so I complimented his hair."
  • "How many artichokes can you eat in one sitting?"
  • "No, go back to my idea!"
  • "Maybe, they'll throw the books out. Just not follow the books anymore."
  • "Hey guys did everyone floss today? You gotta floss every day. Otherwise, your dentist makes you feel bad."
  • "I play piano but I won't call it a talent."
  • "I'm the funniest person in the cast and that's simply because everybody else is so painfully unfunny."
  • "There is literally no memory left in my phone. I took fourteen thousand blue sky photos and I need all of them."
  • "Send him photos of fried chicken and crab cakes."
  • "I have a dentist appt tomorrow. I'm not gonna brush my teeth tonight. Also not going to shower. This is going to be painful for everyone."
  • "You are not trash, you are lovely!"
  • "Don't sign contracts in your blood. It's usually not required by any reputable party."
  • "He's slippin' out his little tongue eating snail treats off the ground."
  • "I will eat anywhere in the house. I'll eat cheese crackers in bed!"
  • "He looks down and sees this wonderful man. He hops down there and smooches that man right on the face. Right in front of everyone."
  • "...it's not fair that he is more handsome than me!!!"
  • "Don't do the hokey pokey around witches."
  • "They're never gonna release the deleted scenes to you guys because they're racy and inappropriate."
  • "This video is going on social media!"
  • "I'm ashamed to admit I lied about the selfies. The phone is 98% cow pictures and I can't delete them. I need a new phone. Forgive me."
  • "Thank god I started sandpapering my feet when I was four."
  • "Is Alec appreciating at an increased rate because of an increase in demand? Or is it the same rate as before."
  • "Note, some alpaca do not appreciate head pats."
  • "If humans lived in barns, we'd be smelly, too."
  • "Had to delete all my cow photos to make room for selfies, so I will say 'I appreciate you, cows.'"
  • "Wow. It's spelled Gollum. Wow. So disappointed. Hiding my own cell phone for the next two weeks."
  • "You're a little kitty cat. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy kitty cat, kitty cat."
  • "Sometimes when I travel between dimensions, I think, man, I should really buy a sailboat."
  • "If I was running for President, my VP would be a well trained golden retriever."
  • "Who's not going to watch Hamlet in space? I mean, Space Hamlet!"
  • "I just think we should all acknowledge what is awesome about Harry!"
  • "I like eating food after dark."
  • "Generally, people avoid kissing their sister in a healthy life."
  • "If you don't like my zebra leggings, it's because you just don't understand zebra leggings."
  • "I think we should provide more showers for cows."
  • "If I'm having a bad day, I eat pizza."
  • "I hope Google uses the same algorithm to encrypt my email as my pocket does to tie knots with my headphones."
  • "I would own a farm. Not like growing crops but maybe have a few animals like cows, and maybe an alpaca or a llama. I would chop wood all day."
  • "Dog. #dog. Dog. Dog."
  • "Had fun tweeting with/at you guys. Phone is about to die. Gonna go get more double-A batteries."
  • "The jackhammer has been joined by his friend, the concrete saw. Rare that you get two music legends right outside your window like this."
  • "Interdimensional cat smuggling is severely punished. But you can make a killing on the black cat market."
  • "You should just give up on me like I did. So done with me right now I can't even."
  • "What am I fan of? No one's ever asked me this before! Oh man."
  • "I don't know why they say that. I think they're poking fun at me."
  • "Congrats. You deserve that sailboat."
  • "I don't know. I don't have any pet peeve. Yapping little dogs, I guess. Buttons that don't go up right."
  • "Donkeys look like rabbit horses."
  • "Everyone is all, 'follow your heart.' If that worked I'd be watching Shadowhunters in my spaceship."
  • "Am I making this up?"
  • "I don't condone it, but I understand it, and therefore, I will not pass judgment on it."
  • "I can eat a pound of pork rinds."
  • "I am your bird king!"
  • "Baby pigs or baby cows? They're both good options."
  • "I have deleted a single photo from my phone. I have room for one selfie. Living on the edge. If it happens, no second chances."
  • "She gets it at a Shadowhunter tailor where we get all our stuff. Are you serious?"
  • "My cell phone is not the most important thing in my life. It just feels that way."
  • "Kill her immediately. Problem solved."
  • "You're not me? Most people aren't, in my experience."
  • "Man I've spent a whole year talking about sailboats and I could have just jumped on this SHIP."
  • "Reminder not to cite 'game of thrones' as my motivation for getting into politics."
  • "To all the people who threaten to punch me in the face... Do I have to be concerned or is that a love thing?"
  • "Put this on?! Fit it on my body?!"
  • "I’m going to shave today. Nobody will recognize me and I’ll have to reintroduce myself to all my friends."
  • "Don't get me started on this question."
  • "Okay, quick question. What does it mean when someone says they are your 'trash?' Asking for a friend..."
  • "Wait, 'SexyBack' is by Justin Timberlake?"
  • "Everyone's smooching everyone and Alec just wants to do his job. That's why he's the best and deserves a big smooch."

anonymous asked:

(dailyashleighraichu) I do commend your persistence on making friends little one, but maybe your going about evolving the wrong way. I remember that I had a bond with my old trainer when I was a Pichu before I evolved. Maybe it can work for you too?

Asche: “Well-”

“I’m not really too fond of the idea, to say the truth…”

Asche: “It really is!”

“I-Is just that I’m a little…”

“…afraid”

“I’ve already had an experience with a trainer that tried to catch me…”

Asche: “That guy just didn’t seem to have good intentions- And he had a fucking Metagross!”

“Just why the hell would you use a Metagross to catch a simple Pichu!? For Arceus’ sake! That thing seemed so strong!”

“And- and he was just so scary… If my friend Michael hadn’t been there at that moment… I don’t know what would have happened to me!”

“Still, I perfectly know that not all humans are bad-”

“My friend has a trainer, and she’s the most sweet person you’ll ever meet! I adore her!”

“But, the thing is… the amount of ‘bad trainers’ is way superior to the ‘good trainers’ one.”

“And I’m afraid of being catched by a ‘not so good’ one, you know? How can I escape if that happens? How can I be sure if I picked a good trainer? What will they do to me?”

“That’s why I’m trying to evolve by other methods.”

“Still, I’m pretty sure a Pichu can perfectly evolve in the wild, so I think getting myself a trainer is just an ‘In case of emergency’ situation for now.”

Asche: “And, well, talking about something else-”

“You seem very… familiar. What kind of Pokemon are you? Are you like a Pachirisu or an Emolga and that’s why you look so similar to m-”

“…Wait-”

Asche: “D-Did you say ‘when I was a Pichu’?”

“You d-don’t look like a Pikachu, s-so… that means- you- you are-… are you a?-”

“!!!!!!!!!!!!”

<Asche is way too thunderstruck (hehe) to talk now!>

@dailyashleighraichu

🎶🎶When You Collect Records🎶🎶
  • Hipster: *moves dusty old boxes out of the way* Whoa, an old record player. It looks like it's in working order too! *runs outside*
  • Hipster: Yo, dad!
  • Dad: What?
  • Hipster: We're getting rid of all of poppop's stuff, right?
  • Dad: There's something you want, isn't there?
  • Hipster: There's this old stereo record player in the attic.
  • Dad: What do you need a record player for?
  • Hipster: My record collection.
  • Dad: I didn't even know they still made those things. Can't you just listen to music on your phone?
  • Hipster: Dad, there's a big difference between listening to music digitally and on record.
  • Dad: Fine, I don't wanna get into it with you right now. You can take the record player. You just have to get someone else to take it to your place for you. My truck's full.
  • Hipster: Thanks dad! *smooches dad on the cheek*
  • *later at hipster's apartment*
  • Friend: So, like Patch Adams ends with Patch Adams half-naked in front of a ton of people. I don't know if it was meant to be funny or like a weird sex thing, but like the movie was just a deeply disturbing character study. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Hipster: That sounds boring. *unlocks door to apartment* Ta-da! Here it is! My new record player!
  • Friend: New? Looks fucking old to me, dude.
  • Hipster: Well, it is old. That's the appeal. And we're going to listen to the new Sufjan record on it.
  • Friend: Is that actually how you say Sufjan? Apparently, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
  • Hipster: Well, you won't after this record. There's an entire track where he just says his name for four minutes. It's amazing. *plays records*
  • Record Player: *coughs* Hello. Hello! Where am I? Doctor? Hello! Why is it so dark...............................Can I breathe? I can't breath. Oh god, I'm not breathing! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I.....................................
  • Hipster: Uh, that's not Sufjan.
  • Friend: It totally isn't. Is it some guest vocalist? I like the new direction he's going in. No instruments or singing, and long stretches of silence. Very experimental.
  • Hipster: *stops record player* I think maybe we should do something else for now.
  • Friend: Fucking lame! I wanted to listen to more Sufjan.
  • *days later at the record store*
  • Hipster: Yo, I think the Sufjan Stevens record I bought from here might be some kind of mispress.
  • Store Clerk: Really? It's a pretty major album. I doubt there'd just be a mispress like that.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but listen to it. It's not Sufjan at all. It's some girl talking.
  • *hipster and clerk listen to a completely normal Sufjan Stevens album together*
  • Store Clerk: What are you talking about? This is definitely Sufjan Stevens.
  • Hipster: Okay, but it wasn't like that when I listened to it at home! I even listened to it with my friend and he heard the same thing!
  • Store Clerk: Maybe there's something wrong with your record player.
  • Hipster: Hmm, maybe there is.
  • *back at the apartment*
  • Hipster: *turns on record player and just listens*
  • Record Player: ...I'm awake again. Why did I black out? Did I even black out? God, I'm not breathing, but it doesn't matter. Why don't I need to breathe? Am I even alive?
  • Hipster: Can you hear me?
  • Record Player: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR! Why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything. Keep yourself together. It'll all make sense soon. Calm down. Just breathe deeply. Fuck, I can't breathe! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I CAN'T BREATHE! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HELP! HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M STUCK! I CAN'T MOVE! PLEASE HELP ME!
  • Hipster: *turns off record player* It's just a recording, I bet. I can't believe I talked to it like an idiot... *nervously turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: I blacked out again. I blacked out. For how long? Is there even time here? Hell. This is hell, right? Did I go to hell.........................................
  • Hipster: *listens to the record player for hours*
  • Record Player: Negative 6893 bottles of wine on the wall! Negative 6893 bottles of wine! Take one down, pass it around, Negative 6894 bottles of wine on the wall... fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • Hipster: *keeps listening*
  • Record Player: Soul of Christ, make me holy, Body of Christ, be my salvation. God, please forgive me. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Please free me. I'm so sorry. Please. Please. Please.
  • Hipster: *still listening*
  • Record Player: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHITTY DOCTOR! FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *sobs intensely* FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING! Please just let me go.
  • Hipster: *nervously walks up to record player and lightly taps on it*
  • Record Player: ...A knock. A KNOCK! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M STUCK! PLEASE! *record player begins shake violently*
  • Hipster: *backs away in fear*
  • Record Player: HELP! HELP! HELP ME! PLEASE, IF SOMEONE'S THERE, HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M STUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!
  • Hipster: *unplugs record player*
  • Hipster: *gets hammer from the closet and begins to break apart record player*
  • Record Player: *drips red*
  • Hipster: W-What? *cracks front of record player open*
  • *rotting viscera falls from the record player*
  • Hipster: O-Oh... *stuffs viscera back into the record player and duct tapes over it*
  • Hipster: *turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: ...I can feel. It hurts. Why does it hurt now? Why does it hurt? Why? Why? Why? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *spurts blood through it speakers and begins to gurgle*
  • Record Player: *hops forward* Please just let me go. Please... please. I'll do anything. I just want to see you again. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I asked for. I'm so sorry. *hops forward again and comes unplugged*
  • Record Player: *tips over, bleeding heavily onto the carpet*
  • Hipster: *silently cleans up the mess*
  • *some time later*
  • Hipster: *calls dad* Hey, dad. Oh, nothing. Uh, I just need to borrow your truck, If not tonight sometime this week. I just need to get rid of something. No, no, that's fine, I can do it myself. Yeah, tomorrow morning is perfect. Thanks Love you too. Bye.
  • *the next afternoon*
  • Dad: So, what did you need to get rid of this morning?
  • Hipster: Nothing important. Just some old junk... Dad, what kind of person was poppop?
  • Dad: Well, he was only the greatest man I've known in my life. Really caring, dedicated to his family. When you were born he loved you so much. He was a bit of a loner, though. It took a lot to get him to open up. Even around me and your grandmother. He was a bit like you. Always a huge music lover.
  • Hipster: I see. Was he ever a doctor?
  • Dad: That's a weird thing to ask. Nope. He hated doctors. Didn't trust modern medicine one bit. It's ironic. His cancer probably wouldn't have gotten to him if he did. But, your poppop was always so stubborn.
  • Hipster: Oh, okay then.
  • *some days later*
  • Friend: New carpet?
  • Hipster: Yup, old one was ugly wasn't it. It was time for a change.
  • Friend: That's what I've been telling you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. What happened to your record player, though?
  • Hipster: That thing? I threw it away. It was busted.
  • Friend: That sucks. Are you gonna buy a new one?
  • Hipster: No.
  • Friend: But you won't have anything to play your records on.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but I buy records because I want to support the artists. They're not really for listening. Besides, lossless is better. FLAC is the future.
the mars signs, basically
  • mars in aries: "u know what. FUCk everything. why doesnt life just give me what i want!!! life is so SLOW and BORING and i want ADVENTURE why can't things just HAPPEN MY WAY for ONCE!!!" *someone tells them to chill* "who tf are you??? are you trying to fight me????? ok i dare you FIGHT ME"
  • mars in taurus: *bad stuff happens* "lol im fine" *more bad stuff happens* "@ life are u trying to provoke me...try harder it aint working" *the worst thing that could possibly happen happens* "OK THATS IT IM AT MY LIMIT. THAT WAS NOT NECESSARY. IM SO MAD RIGHT NOW I CANT EVEN THINK WTF WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME. anyways im actually totally chill haha let me just suppress my feelings it'll be ok :)"
  • mars in gemini: "oh, i see! you think i'm wrong. i'm truly sorry to hear that some pitiful creatures like you find my beautiful mind so complex that you can't comprehend anything i'm saying. i'm sure that, for SOME people, it is indeed a bit too complex hahah lmao (:"
  • mars in cancer: "fine, whatever. u may have said something rude but it's ok im just gonna ignore that" *later* "that fUkcin bitch...i'll show them later, trust me. i'll just wait for the right moment and destroy them when they least expect it"
  • mars in leo: "??? did u just insult me or one of my interests ??? lmao first of all, HOW DARE YOU. second of all, YOU ARE WRONG. i am so beautiful and awesome and such a great friend and THIS is how u repay me??? i'm worth so much more than this. you are disgraceful. i am disgusted"
  • mars in virgo: "i hate everything. NOTHING is going right and i am FALLING APART. honestly i don't even remember the last time something good happened in this world. why are people always annoying me? why is school always annoying me??? why is LIFE always annoying me????? can everyone just STOP"
  • mars in libra: *someone points out that they need to get their life together* "bitch...what? i'm fine...what are you talking about.....my life is 100% under control!!!" *procrastinates everything* "wtf why do i have so much work??? i am dying under all the pressure i hate everything NOTHING IS UNDER CONTROL"
  • mars in scorpio: *on the outside* "okay you know what fuck you im so over this it's over" *on the inside* "i know all ur weaknesses, honey...and trust me, you will regret it. you think i'm over this but i'm definitely not lmao watch ur back"
  • mars in sagittarius: "wtf bitch i hate u, what do you think of yourself??? how dare u disagree with me and say rude stuff to me ugh don't talk to me ever again" *after like 8 minutes max* "omfg the other day i was listening to the duck song and i was thinking about how much you'd like it i mean i bet you've already heard it but it's absolutely hilarious u should watch the video it went viral on youtube hahaha" *someone asks if they've gotten over their anger* "what anger? ...oh thAT. lmao whatever who cares about that, have you heard the duck song?"
  • mars in capricorn: "yeah i'm pretty fucking upset right now, things definitely did not go the way i expected them to. anyways that's just life. i'm over it. i'm just gonna...try and distract myself.....and pretend nothing happened...because that'll help me stop thinking about my shitty life...probably"
  • mars in aquarius: *on the outside* "i guess ur right. maybe what ur saying is the right thing to do :) :) :)" *on the inside* "...excuse me hoe.....ur wrong, i'm right. u can't tell me what to do. i'm well-aware of what i'm doing, if u think i'm gonna listen to anything u tell me to do ur 100% wrong bye"
  • mars in pisces: *accidentally offends someone, someone asks why they're mad* "honestly i'm not totally sure why i'm mad. i didn't even know i was mad until you pointed it out. i mean there are the usual reasons for being mad...people are horrible, life just generally sucks. so yeah im probably just generally mad lmao no worries"

anonymous asked:

I read several days of this blog and did basic research, but I still don't understand what's going on that led to #Norbury. Why are the Pike fics significant if they're not officially connected? I know ARG, but what does PTB stand for? Why do we have sufficient reason to bring Takei into this? I see the arguments about why /not/, but I don't see anything why /for/. Everyone's acting like these are things everyone already should know, but I can't find simple explanations?

Ok anon, strap in:

  • I believe the Pike fics are officially connected. Though it takes some extrapolation to get there (which I’ll explain in a moment), the content of the fics themselves are such that there would be no purpose or motive in writing them UNLESS you had the knowledge and opinions of a showrunner looking at fandom from the outside in. Read The Players for yourself.
  • “TPTB” means “The powers that be,” referring to the nebulous group of people in charge of Sherlock (in this case) who call the shots.
  • Dale Pike’s legitimacy comes from the assumption that the twitter elements of the ARG are real (imo, likely controlled by Joe Lidster). There’s a large network of these, I haven’t been super tuned in, but essentially, consider them NPCs that exist to wave flags and give us sidequests.
  • Our attention to Dale Pike came from parody twitters for two once-prominent members of the Sherlock fandom. These led to Dale Pike’s twitter, which, in turn, led us to their AO3. The AO3 contains a fic series called “Spoiling Sherlock in Real Time,” and has written and published several fics with info about s4 episodes prior to the episodes airing. Identifying Eurus as an imposter, that Sherlock would not be saying “I love you” to John, and…… jesus christ, just trust me on this? They predicted things they couldn’t possibly have known. Although it is possible for ao3 fics to be backdated, we know from the twitter and tumblr bots that update when new johnlock fic is posted that they were published when Dale claims.
  • These fics intricately express tjlc #moods, often featuring female audience inserts who bemoan about the existence of “The Good Story.” In several cases these inserts can be identified as specific Sherlock fans. Ashleigh @kinklock​, for example, is clearly The Girl from the Bus. (Yes, in the show too! That is why she LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE HER FUCKING CLONE.)
  • On the 29th, when most hope for a special was spiraling, Dale posted a plea that we tweet #norbury, complaining again about ALL. THIS. SHIT. Unfortunately, however, Moffat read his audience incorrectly, as they blew up the theater, and the audience fell into chaos. (READ THE FUCKING PLAYERS.)
  • I believe #norbury is the correct course of action because the emotional climax/resolution, post-bomb blast, is Steven (YES, STEVEN IS NAMED IN THE FIC) begging a lone remaining believer to PLEASE pull him out of the mirror well and to “TELL THE WORLD WHO I REALLY AM!!!!!” Capslock all Dale’s.
  • While I’m also willing to believe the bomb in the theater is about exposing canon johnlock (vs. blowing up the show with TFP), I feel like there’s no other real way to expose canon johnlock than complaining about how canon johnlock didn’t happen, AND with the who you really are thing, like, how else can we throw him the rope? What else is there.
  • Also in The Players, John and S are searching for the bomb, which they INSIST must be on the main stage. It must be (it turns out to be strapped to S(herlock) and John themselves–who, imo, might mean Moffat and TJLC), but as they’re searching John discovers two things: That it’s S who brought this dangerous bomb into the theater, and actually, oops, he doesn’t know how to solve the problem.
  • (This is debatable, because S and John have this whole conversation about whether or not this is a trick and he knows how to land planes, but this post is long enough as it is lmao.)

About twitter:

As far as I’m concerned, what’s really important is attempting to get #norbury trending at 7pm London Time/2pm EST/11am Pacific on March 4th and 5th. Whatever methods we want to use to try and get this to happen are up to the people that decide to play.

***WHY NOT TRY TWEETING TOMORROW, MARCH 1ST AS WELL?

George Takei comes from the fact that one of the NPC ARG twitters, I believe @contactWSSH, contacted one of the people organizing #norbury from the get go (I’m sorry idk who you are! pls message me if you want me to edit this and credit you!!!) and suggested that 1) If we can get someone with 50k+ followers to retweet our message, we will be trending within minutes, and that, 2) Why not try good ol’ George, elder of the gay tv community.

I personally feel that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS COURSE OF ACTION. Whether or not you believe contactWSSH to be legit, the advice about retweets is, and there’s nothing wrong with @’ing a celebrity on twitter. This is actually laughable and perplexing to me. I’m not wild about the concept myself, but one of the basic appeals of twitter is the ability to talk to verified celebrities. People are asking George to retweet shit all the time. This man almost certainly has interns fielding this shit. The worst case scenario I can possibly imagine is George seeing the tweets and going “huh.” If you’re down to believe that WSSH is Joe Lidster/TPTB/what have you, then you can further conclude that maybe George (or George’s PR team) has been NOTIFIED about this and is READY AND WILLING to help us try to make sure this happens.

Because in The Players, in its opening lines, the narration acknowledges that things aren’t going as planned. There are far fewer people milling around backstage than expected. Maybe, just maybe, imo, George Takei is a failsafe.

Hope that covered all the bases. 💜!

Will You Fake Date Me? (Jimin Fluffy Imagine)
  • INT. Y/N'S HOUSE -- EVENING
  • Y/N sits on the couch enjoying a delicious bowl of popcorn. Her eyes are glued to the screen where a scary movie plays. Y/N's eyes widen in anticipation, her mouth ajar. She lifts a handful of popcorn to her mouth when-
  • JIMIN: Y/N!
  • Jimin barges through her front door. His small figure is illuminated by the moon of the dark night.
  • Y/N: AHHHHH!
  • By pure reflex, and not a hint of maliciousness, Y/N flings the tin bowl of popcorn at Jimin, showering her living room in kernels and nailing Jimin in the head.
  • JIMIN: OW! Y/N! What the hell?
  • Jimin massages the blow to his head.
  • Y/N: Jimin, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
  • JIMIN: Yeah, I'm fine.
  • After hearing this, Y/N proceeds to smack Jimin upside the head.
  • JIMIN: OW!?
  • Y/N: That was for scaring me. How did you even get in here?
  • Jimin plops himself down on the couch with a sour expression and his hands rubbing the spot on his head that had received yet another blow.
  • JIMIN: The door was unlocked. You know for someone who watches a bunch of thriller movies, you really don't take all the necessary precautions.
  • Y/N sits beside him and pauses the movie.
  • Y/N: Why are you here? Shouldn't you be on a date with 'Super hot as fuck' Irene.
  • Y/N tries to pull off her best imitation of Jimin when she says, "Super hot as fuck" but her voice comes out a lot deeper than his.
  • JIMIN: Why don't we just call her 'Super hot bitch' 'cuz it turns she only asked me to come out to make Taehyung jealous.
  • Y/N: Seriously?
  • JIMIN: Yes seriously. I just can't believe I thought she actually wanted to go out with me. You know to actually date me.
  • Y/N pauses. She doesn't really know what to say in this situation. She's used to always being the one sulking and Jimin cheering her up.
  • JIMIN: Okay you can stop with the pity stares. I'll live.
  • Y/N: You came to the right place Jimin. My shoulders aren't as sturdy as Jin's but they are here for your tears.
  • Jimin bursts out laughing. Y/N flings kernels of popcorn on the couch at him.
  • JIMIN: That was terrible. Thank you.
  • Jimin sighs.
  • JIMIN: As much as I'd like to stop holding back my tears, I came here on strict business.
  • Y/N raises her eyebrow.
  • Y/N: I'm all ears Agent Chim.
  • JIMIN: I want you to fake date me.
  • Y/N pauses.
  • Y/N: If this were a movie, this would be the perfect moment for a spit take.
  • JIMIN: Y/N, I'm serious.
  • Y/N: You're joking.
  • JIMIN: I just said 'I'm serious'
  • Y/N: That's insane. Friends don't just fake date each other.
  • JIMIN: How would we know? To us it wouldn't be fake dating.
  • Y/N: Jimin, shut up. No way, I am not fake dating you.
  • JIMIN: Please, Y/N, I need your help.
  • Jimin grabs Y/N's hand in his. He tilts his head and pouts his lips. Y/N shakes her head at him.
  • Y/N: Why? Why would we even need to do this?
  • JIMIN: I want Irene to want me. I want her to see what she could have had. What we could have been.
  • Y/N frowns and pulls her fingers away from Jimin's
  • Y/N: Why do you like her so much?
  • JIMIN: What do you mean?
  • Y/N: What's so great about her? I mean yeah she's pretty and all but so are lots of girls. What's so different about her?
  • Jimin pauses. You can tell he's thinking pretty hard about this. He slumps back on the couch and stares into his lap.
  • JIMIN: Honestly I have no idea.
  • Y/N: See? You want to do all this for a girl you don't even really like.
  • JIMIN: I do like her. I just don't know what I like about her.
  • Y/N huffs and the two sit awkwardly in silence on the couch for a moment. A few times Jimin starts his sentence to name something he likes about Irene but then falls back into thought. Eventually Y/N breaks the silence and says.
  • Y/N: You know, if you had just asked me to go on a date with you, I would have said yes.
  • JIMIN: You mean like a real date?
  • Y/N: Yeah, a real date. I kinda get how you felt earlier about Irene using you to get to Taehyung now. And its not your fault. I should of told you earlier Jimin. I like you.
  • Jimin's eyes are wide. He stares at Y/N who is looking down into her lap awaiting for his response. Eventually she breaks the silence again.
  • Y/N: You're my best friend Jimin and I would do anything to help you but fake dating you would be so much harder for me than you think because that's probably the closest we would ever get to becoming more than friends.
  • Y/N gets up off the couch and slowly makes her way to the landing of the stairs.
  • Y/N: It's late. I'm going to bed. You can let yourself out. Goodnight Jimin.
  • Y/N reaches the first step of the stairs when Jimin calls-
  • JIMIN: Wait!
  • Y/N stops at the step and turns around to face Jimin.
  • JIMIN: When you asked me what I liked about Irene, I couldn't think of anything. But when you said what you said right now, I asked myself what I liked about you, and there were so so many reasons Y/N. I like everything about you. Even the annoying things aren't that annoying. Y/N, I think I like you too.
  • A/N:
  • Hello! This is my first time writing an imagine in screenplay format. I tried to incorporate both into one and this is what we got. I really hope you guys liked this because this was a lot of fun to write. Also to the Anon who requested this, I'm sure this wasn't what you imagined but I hope you liked it all the same. Thanks for all the support guys! Thanks @limseoyeon
  • ~Armygirl

anonymous asked:

I don't know if I'm late for the drabble game but I have been thinking about this for a while. Can you please do a Taehyung's POV from Zaddy 3, that part when he's coming to see her, and the whole fight? That part when she's scared of him, the whole almost- slapping thing it's one of my fav parts, you're genius. ❤ I hope I'm not late for the party, but don't feel pressured or anything.. 😇

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Why is that everyone on the YOI fandom throws a fit when somebody suggests Yuri on Ice is a yaoi? Because honestly speaking I don't see why it should not be considered as such...

First of all I want to clarify that I don’t feel myself into that group of people that throws a fit (even when I DO agree that it’s not yaoi), but I will reply to you anyways.

Secondly, I’m by no means an expertise on the field but I’ve watched enough series that fall under the category of yaoi to know that YOI is not one. The only thing that links both “genres” if you want is that the protagonist/s have a love interest on somebody of the same gender and that’s all of it.
Yuri on Ice is a sports anime since the plot revolves around the sport practiced by the protagonist/s and advances with it while everything else (in this case Yuuri and Victor having a relationship) adds to that from a secondary place. Actual yaoi series like Junjou Romantica and Sekaichi Hatsukoi to name some have the same gender relationships of the protagonists as the central topic AND are the reason the plot advances (or not).

Also being honest, something I’ve realized all of these series have in common is that sexual advances are used 90% of the time in order to resolve issues, ranging it from an uncalled-for kiss to a raw sex session because suddenly one or both of them had an uncontrollable sexual urgency idk??? That one point specifically is something Yuri on Ice took and treated in 2 whole episodes (episode 4 and episode 7) and smashed it on the floor in favor of a healthy, organic development in the relationship of two adults that love each other while accepting their flaws and respecting their boundaries.

Unlike a yaoi series, YOI is not meant to appeal the viewers obscure kinks or fantasies (like your average soap opera if you want), but to portray something organic and that people would see as achievable or #goals (at the risk that people might not find it intense enough welp they were so wrong ♥)

Originally posted by yandereatheart

Finally, here’s some things that would be different if Yuri on Ice was a yaoi series:

  • The fact Yuuri idolizes Victor would DEFINITELY benefit the later in his advances (aka Yuuri would let him do as he pleases just because he admires him, and by ‘as he pleases’ I’m totally talking about sexual stuff).
  • Yuuri’s anxiety would be played as something cute and a thing Victor would innocently take advantage of.
  • Victor would definitely be a seme, lone-wolf type character and have possessiveness issues and rage fits because of it (instead of the immature, 100% marshmallow-hearted dork we have in canon).
  • Something sexual and DOUBTFULLY consented would have happened in the onsen before the Cup of China hands down.
  • Episode 4 would have never happened (at least not in the way it did).
  • Victor would have kissed Yuuri there in the parking lot during the Cup of China without even asking, and would have done the same every time Yuuri felt uneasy instead of listening to him.
  • Yuuri would spend half of each episode aroused because of Victor.
  • We would have a hard time remembering either of them skate because each episode is full of the drama going on between them and their unresolved sexual urgencies.
  • Yuuri would either have an arranged marriage with Yuuko or be enemies out of resentment with the whole Nishigori family.
  • Yurio would have serious problems with being called ‘androgynous’ instead of using it as a personal strength like in canon.
  • The female cast of the series would be reduced to the half and the characterization of each woman would be super shallow in contrast to the wonderful ladies we have (for one thing, according to the yaoi formula Mila would probably be Victor’s ex and be a bitch towards Yuuri; Minako would be squeeing around about Victuuri all the time; Mari would ‘sell’ private data about Yuuri to Victor uncaring of exposing him).
  • The Banquet night would have ended up in sex between Victor and a beyond drunk Yuuri (and on-camera).
  • The main pairing would probably change to either of the following things:
        -Yuuri x Yurio.

        -Yurio x Victor.

    ( ^ with Yurio having an insane -and obviously sexual- obsession on the adult person of each pair and the later letting him advance).

       -Deaged!Yuuri x Victor (Yuuri would be like 18 or even less).

       -A romantic triangle between the 3 of them.
  • There wouldn’t be rings, at all, because if it’s not illicit it would lose its charm.
  • Phichit would probably be a trigger to Victor’s possessiveness and bitter personality, as in at some point Yuuri would have to resign hanging out with Phichit once or twice because Victor was too jealous.
  • Chris would definitely try something sexual on Yuuri.
  • The rest of the skaters would be background characters we could barely remember unless they do something to spice things up between Yuuri and Victor and their unresolved sexual tension.
Garrett and Marian - Legacy Banters
  • Marian: Well... not quite how I imagined this family reunion going. I was envisioning more hugs and maybe some wine over dinner. Not attempted assassinations
  • Carver: Really? You think this is so abnormal for our family?
  • Marian: Well you got me there
  • ---
  • Bethany: What could our father have to do with this mess? The Carta have had more than enough time to try and find us
  • Garrett: I imagine that having two Champions of Kirkwall with the last name Hawke may have tipped them off
  • Bethany: But it's been three years since you and sis defeated the Arishok. Why wait that long?
  • Marian: Well I don't know about you, but if I was going to go after the people who killed an Arishok then I'd probably want to make a little time for planning, wouldn't you?
  • Carver: Do these morons strike you as the sensible type?
  • Marian: Two points in one day Carver? Don't tell me the Templars are actually drilling some wit into that skull of yours
  • Carver: *laughs* At least /my/ wit makes a point, dear sister
  • Bethany: Ooh, that had to hurt
  • Garrett: Do you need some healing for that one, Marian?
  • Marian: Oh shove off, all of you
  • ---
  • Garrett: And we're back in the Deep Roads
  • Marian: Oh it's not that bad. I mean... Look at all the... Ugh, no, you're right this is terrible. Let's all promise never to go to the Deep Roads after this. Three times is enough
  • Garrett: Three times? When was the second?
  • Marian: Um... well...
  • Carver and Bethany: *sing song voices* Somebody's in trouble
  • ---
  • Bethany: Varric wrote to me the other day
  • Garrett: Telling another of his stories, I bet. Was it the one about the high dragon, because that didn't really-
  • Bethany: No. He was giving me an update. On you, actually. I was... worried, so I wrote to him and asked
  • Garrett: I'm fine Beth. Really
  • Bethany: No you're not. Not yet. But I know you, and if anyone can get past it, you can
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • ---
  • Carver: You might want to be watch yourself, Garrett
  • Garrett: How come?
  • Carver: Ever since you sided with Orsino the other day, there's been... Rumours. Meredith isn't happy with you, and it's only because she allows it that you're still free
  • Garrett: So is she going to have me dragged to the Circle, or is she getting the Brand ready now?
  • Fenris: Don't say that
  • Carver: I would never let it get that far. But I thought I'd warn you, just in case you were thinking about making her mad
  • Garrett: I appreciate you telling me Carver. Don't worry. I'll be careful
  • ---
  • *after completing Malcolm's Will*
  • Marian: So... the stonework down here is... lovely, isn't it?
  • Carver: Not now, Mary
  • Marian: I was only... Alright
  • ---
  • Marian: Are you okay, Gary?
  • Garrett: I'm fine... Just...
  • Marian: He loved you. And Bethany. He'd be so proud of you
  • Garrett: You sound so sure of that
  • Marian: Of course I am. Because it's true. And don't let that nasty shit in your head tell you otherwise - it's a liar, remember
  • Garrett: *chuckles* Alright
  • Bethany: Be careful sister, people might think you've got a heart after all
  • Marian: *dramatically* Oh no! *clutches chest* I think... I think I'm getting feelings! Quick, someone beat them out of me!
  • Carver: *laughs* You be careful what you wish for sister
  • Isabela: I'd rather ride them out of you
  • Garrett: Ah, and there's the dirty line. I was starting to worry something was wrong Bela
  • Isabela: And you're as sweet as ever, Garrett
  • ---
  • Varric: Twenty silvers, that's my final offer. Take it or leave it Elf
  • Marian: What are you betting on, and why am I getting left out of it?
  • Varric: You want in? We're betting on what it'll take to get Junior and Waffles to hug
  • Garrett: *groans* You're not calling me 'Waffles' again, are you?
  • Varric: I have to. Every time I say 'Hawke' all four of you turn around. I'm being considerate
  • Carver: I bet there's /someone/ here who'd like to see him covered in syrup
  • Garrett: Carver!
  • Fenris: *embarrassed noises*
  • Isabela: Ooh, new friend-fiction idea!
  • Garrett: Don't you even dare!
  • Isabela: Too late, already dared. Can we make camp? I need to make notes
  • ---
  • Varric: Hey, Rivaini, I'm expecting royalties if that friend-fiction of yours gets published
  • Carver: When you didn't even come up with it?
  • Varric: You wouldn't have brought up syrup if I didn't call him Waffles
  • Garrett: Maker save me...
  • Bethany: And me...
  • Marian: Usually I like dirty things... But this is too far, even for me
  • Isabela: Are you saying you wouldn't like it if /I/ were covered in syrup?
  • Marian: Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were my very hairy twin brother, Bela
  • Isabela: Well when you put it that way...
  • ---
  • Isabela: I always thought we were the loud ones, you know
  • Fenris: What?
  • Marian: I know right. Maybe they're just less shy about it now
  • Garrett: Do I want to know?
  • Isabela: You already know. Or did you deafen yourself?
  • Marian: To think, they don't need us shouting encouragement through the wall anymore. I'm so proud
  • Isabela: Our boys are growing up so fast. Maybe next they'll master foreplay
  • Carver: Oh Maker, I do not want to hear this
  • Bethany: Neither do I
  • Garrett: *loudly* And I would be very happy if we could stop talking about this. Right now
  • Isabela: Yeah, see. That kind of loud
  • Fenris: *deadpan* If you're so fascinated by Garrett being loud, then you must not be doing a very good job at making Marian scream, Isabela
  • Marian: Oooooooo
  • Isabela: Oh, you snarky little shit
  • Bethany: *loudly* If we could stop discussing my older brother's and sister's sex lives, I would appreciate it
  • Carver: *loudly* Oh look, more darkspawn. Let's kill them so we can stop talking about this
  • ---
  • Marian: So our choices are the nice, Tainted madman, or the mage who wants to let a darkspawn magister out of his hole in the ground? Why can we never make nice decisions, like what kind of wine to have with dinner?
  • Fenris: I agree. It is the only decision worth making
  • Marian: When you're not throwing it at the walls, I assume?
  • Fenris: That was six years ago
  • Marian: And you never offered me a glass
  • Fenris: You are recycling jokes now? Has the great Marian Hawke's wit finally lost it's edge?
  • Marian: Ooh, you are just asking for it now
  • ---
  • Varric: You okay Garrett? You've been a bit quiet since-
  • Garrett: I'm fine Varric. There's more important things to be worried about right now
  • Varric: It's not easy to realise that someone you looked up to wasn't quite what you imagined. You ever need to talk, you know where my suite is
  • ---
  • Isabela: So... is no one going to bring up the fact that Varric called Garrett by his name earlier?
  • Varric: What are you talking about Rivaini? Waffles and I were just having a friendly chat
  • Isabela: Don't bullshit me. You called him Garrett. I heard you
  • Varric: That doesn't sound like me, Rivaini
  • Marian: He called you by your name when Velasco carted you off to Castillon
  • Isabela: What?! No fair, I didn't get to hear!
  • ---
  • Bethany: Are you sure about this, brother?
  • Garrett: It has to be done
  • Bethany: I could do it. I am a Hawke after all, and a mage. You don't need to-
  • Garrett: No, Bethany
  • Bethany: But-!
  • Garrett: Bethy, if I let you use blood magic, I'd never be able to live with myself
  • Bethany: And if you do it, will you be able to live with it?
  • Garrett: I'd rather it be me than you
  • ---
  • Varric: If he pulls a dragon out of his ass, I'm leaving!
  • Marian: Oh great, and now he's almost certain to pull a dragon out of his arse! Way to go Varric
  • ---
  • Bethany: Here, you didn't get a chance to close that wound earlier
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • Fenris: I just hope it was worth it
  • Marian: Well we /did/ just kill a darkspawn magister. I can't wait to hear how Varric tells this one
  • Varric: Well I doubt I'll have to exaggerate a damn thing, considering how weird this shit is
  • Fenris: That isn't what I meant...
  • Garrett: I'd have avoided it if I could, but someone had to. And if it meant sparing my little sister from that...
  • Fenris: I understand. But... Please, just be more careful from now on
  • Garrett: I will, I promise
  • Isabela: You two are so sappy... It's actually rather cute
Glory Days sentence starters
  • "Heard he in love with some other chick."
  • "That hurt me, I'll admit."
  • "Forget that boy, I'm over it."
  • "I hope she gettin' better sex. Hope she ain't fakin' it like I did."
  • "Took four long years to call it quits."
  • "Guess I should say thank you."
  • "Ain't sure I loved you anyway."
  • "You're really quite the man."
  • "You made my heart break and that made me who I am."
  • "I swear you'll never bring me down."
  • "I deleted all your pics then blocked your number from my phone."
  • "You ain't getting this love no more."
  • "I feel like for the first time I am not faking."
  • "Don't you keep it all to yourself."
  • "Just a touch of your love is enough to knock me off of my feet all week."
  • "Why you making me wait so long?"
  • "I promise to keep this a secret, I'll never tell."
  • "I know that this could be something real."
  • "All damn night I was here waiting."
  • "I know you were with her, I know that you kissed her."
  • "I was so mad, had my break-up speech ready."
  • "You're dirty, disgusting, but I can't get enough of your loving."
  • "Boy, I hate you, really hate you."
  • "My mama said I shouldn't date you."
  • "You're cheatin', you're lyin', I know that you're hiding."
  • "Why am I such a fool when it comes to you?"
  • "All my friends say I'm a sucker."
  • "I wish you were dead 'til you take me to bed."
  • "You lead on my love."
  • "Oh, them brown eyes and that body..."
  • "I'll get my revenge, take my key to your Benz."
  • "Then you smile, that's my killer."
  • "We broke up, we're better off as friends."
  • "We broke up... Now I accidentally need you, I don't know what to do."
  • "I messed around and got caught up with you."
  • "I don't know how long I can wait."
  • "This could be my greatest mistake."
  • "We had a good run."
  • "We messed around and had some good fun."
  • "Guess it turns out I lost a good one."
  • "I accidentally know that you're in love with me, too."
  • "So can we try again?"
  • "We're official, more than friends."
  • "Is that what you call flirtin'?"
  • "When you wanna start growin' up, we can maybe fall in love."
  • "I need a man who can act like a man."
  • "Everybody warned me."
  • "But you're kinda hot, so I thought, why not?"
  • "I need a man."
  • "I'm tasty, delicious, I'm rough around the edges."
  • "My mind is obsessive, my flex is aggressive."
  • "Glad I didn't listen to my teachers."
  • "I don't mind offending, I ain't 'bout pretending."
  • "Them haters be hating, my fashion be trending."
  • "Get down and dirty."
  • "I don't ask the mirror, I know I'm the fairest."
  • "They wanna know who I'm sneakin' into my place, they don't need to know, no one's business how I play."
  • "Baby, you're the man, but I got the power."
  • "You make rain, but I'll make it shower."
  • "You should know, I'm the one who's in control."
  • "I got the power."
  • "Got you thinking that I'm all innocent, but wait 'till I get you home."
  • "If I ain't got nothin', least I got you."
  • "Come and kiss me like the first time."
  • "Let's pack up and run away, just me and you."
  • "There ain't no heartache you can't undo."
  • "You're the one that I need."
  • "Take my hand baby, please."
  • "I'm alive, if living's just a beating heart."
  • "We won't admit we've taken it too far."
  • "I know it's love cause I will always be the first to start making up excuses when it hurts."
  • "I'm alone again and all I want is to feel again."
  • "There's nobody like you."
  • "I'm screaming "I don't want you" but you know that I do."
  • "I only like myself when I'm with you."
  • "I'm alone again."
  • "All you left me with was scars."
  • "I keep trying to put this behind me."
  • "I still wanna know who's taking you home."
  • "For tonight, I'm going to get my mind off it."
  • "No more sad songs."
  • "Don't care where I go, just can't be alone."
  • "They'll never know me like you used to know me."
  • "I will only hurt myself, tryna hurt you."
  • "You got my adrenaline pumping when you stand so close."
  • "You had me at hello."
  • "You're the only one that's taking me home."
  • "If you want to touch it then baby you should."
  • "You got my permission to do what you like."
  • "No matter what the deal, babe, you know that I'll be there."
  • "We've come so far, baby."
  • "Nothing else matters like us."
  • "I don't wanna fight, not tonight."
  • "I don't really care about nothing else."
  • "I told you don't let me down, I know you never did."
  • "Look at us now, still you and me."
  • "I don't want nobody else."
  • "I got you all to myself."
  • "I give it all to you, so baby don't let me down."
  • "We got it all, babe, right where we want it to be."
  • "My leather jacket smells like your aftershave."
  • "All I wanna do is get your hands up on my booty."
  • "The thought of you is driving me wild."
  • "I love, love, love making love to you."
  • "You don't get these kisses for free."
  • "Don't make it worse lying to me."
  • "You'll be sleeping in the bed alone."
  • "Little boy, you better run along."
  • "I ain't playing games no more.
  • "Get your story straight."
  • "I won't forgive you for your mistakes."
  • "Don't try to turn this 'round boy, it's too late."
  • "Go 'head, boy, live your dream, don't come crawling back to me."
  • "I've got two sides of me, boy; the one you want your mother to meet and the one that's a freak."
Coffee dates

Based on this lovely work of art :)

So here goes…


Draco shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He narrowed his eyes at the coffee cup in front of him and rubbed his sweaty palms on his knees. Why were they even sweaty? This was ridiculous. True, he hadn’t seen Potter in years, but there was no reason to be nervous about it. He didn’t have to prove anything to anyone. Especially not that prat.

So Draco technically still owed him a life debt. So what? He had saved Potter as well, hadn’t he? In the Manor, when… ‘No, don’t think about that now!’ he chastised himself.

“So,” Potter mumbled, obviously uncomfortable himself, “what have you been up to these last few years?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

It makes me very sad that they intended to bring Tara back in S7 but couldn't because her actress wouldn't come back :( which is also why I don't get why they don't bring her back in the comics. Whedon said he wanted to bring her back in the show (a year after her death) so... Since the comics don't require the actress, why haven't they done it?

Amber Benson did refuse to come back in Season 7, as a First Evil manifestation in Conversations with Dead People (“I just think bringing her back and making her a bad guy was not quite right for me, but I know there’s a way to do it that would be beneficial to the fans.”). Then Joss Whedon said he intended to bring Tara actually back in an episode exactly one year after Seeing Red, in which Buffy would be granted one wish and reverse Tara’s death – ironically, in this same panel he mentioned he’d soon be filming the now canceled project Ripper. Here’s a good interview with Amber about the case:

“You had people who posted on the Internet saying, ‘Thank God, Tara’s dead!” Benson recalls, “but then this plethora of people going, ‘Oh. My. God. I’m never watching that show again!” Apparently, they meant it. Buffy’s ratings dropped an average of 15 percent following Tara’s demise. “Really?” Benson responds in surprise when I mentioned it. Whedon eventually washed his hands of the controversy by claiming he “didn’t care” about social issues, but it wasn’t so simple for Benson. “[Joss] wasn’t Tara,” she explains. “He didn’t walk in her shoes.” […]

Does she believes killing Tara was a mistake? “What I feel and what they chose are not the same thing, but… I wish they hadn’t killed her,“ she says. Benson was asked to return as Tara – actually, as an evil version of Tara – in Buffy’s seventh and final season. […] “There were a lot of other reasons [I didn’t go back], but one was that I didn’t want [Tara] to go bad,” she says. “As an actor, of course, it appeals to me to play kind of evil and bitchy and sexy, but, as a human being who gets letters that say, ‘I didn’t kill myself because of what you and Alyson did,’ that part of me goes, ‘You’re not just an actor anymore; you’re making a social commentary now, baby. You’ve got to be responsible.’ And I couldn’t be responsible coming back, because as an actor you have no control.”

And what about Joss Whedon’s accusation over the summer that he had always planned a glorious, romantic reunion for Tara and Willow but Benson played the spoiler? You can almost hear her wince over the phone. “Yeah, that’s been bandied about in the press a lot,” she sighs. “You know, sometimes people tell you one thing in this world, and then things don’t turn out the way you’re told,” she says. “Who knows what Joss had 100 percent planned in his mind? I’m not psychic. I just didn’t want anyone else hurt after everything that had happened. When a character has that kind of social impact, you just don’t have the right to do anything else to her. I know Joss had good intentions, but for me, personally and professionally, it wasn’t the right decision. Besides,” she says, “I was super busy. I’d moved on from Buffy.”

So the question is: why did they kill Tara in the first place? Was she ever a priority? Why this attitude of playing like everything was meticulously planned? Would her return in other circumstances confirm it as a mistake? Why this current repetitive effort in explaining it would be unfair to bring her back, instead of trying to create a story in which it wouldn’t? Why didn’t Willow have a lasting and developing relationship ever again? Why do some characters simply go away, others are killed, and some are resurrected? Why Buffy doing the bare minimum for women and LGBT representation guarantees the series to be always remembered as a good women/LGBT show? Why do tropes like bury your gays, queerbaiting, and women in refrigerators are still a thing?

I think you know the answer.

anonymous asked:

FRENDO! I have been thinking and I confused myself. I've been seeing a lot of Klance birthday theories but When did Keith officially become a orphan? Because if it was when he was really young don't you think he wouldn't know when his birthday is? Like what if he never had one because he didn't know when it was? Imagine Lance asking when his birthday is and Keith saying "um...I...I don't know"

my dear friend!!! I didn’t read a lot of theories, tbh, but I scoured the net and the official voltron site says Keith became an orphan “at a young age before enlisting in the Galaxy Garrison”. Do they mean he enlisted right after or…? For how long has he lived alone in that shack? Or did someone find him and drag him to the Garrison a la Anakin Skywalker? Oooh, I like this one (even though it’s unlikely, but let me dream).
Imagine a random officer finding by chance a kid, Commander, in a shack in the middle of the desert, all alone!, and subsequently dragging him back to the only civilized place in the entire goddamned desert: luxury school for marvelous minds, the one and only Galaxy Garrison. Imagine the kid being confusedly adopted by the whole team, professors and students alike, coddled and looked after by everyone because the poor thing has big, serious eyes and he never talks much, but he’s bright and asks just the right questions, paddling in between their feet in the simulation room, peeking at screens and stats, unrelentlessly curious about what’s this and that and how does this work? Imagine everyone humoring him, why not, it’s harmless fun, and it’s cute, but then - years later, the kid grows into a stubborn young man, who refuses to hear reasons about required classes and official bullshit. “I learned everything I need to, let me pilot the thing already,” he states plainly, for the hundredth time, until someone finally says what the hell, let him do it - and he’s good, a natural pilot, graceful and in control even without training.
So Commander Iverson lets him enroll officially, he has no reason not to, and the kid starts to train for real, climbing the ranks like it’s nothing - and everyone knows him, it’s Keith, he practically always lived here.

Fast forward to drama, pain, and finding himself with the universe’s destiny on the shoulders, piloting a giant robot lion, Keith has never really thought about his birthday. He simply never had the time or will to, because what’s a date to all the numbers he’s had to drill into his head to become what he is right know?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i don't hate zen but i love readin abt cheater zen, i think he's the most likely to accidentally do something to hurt mc. obv he would regret it but accidentally or not, cheating is cheating. i would like to request zen cheating on mc and mc not! being understanding for months. mc finds peace after months and they resolve things but mc moves on and possibly finds comfort in other rfa member or v? the main thing i would want is mc not being forgiving and instantly understanding. she got feels too

I don’t know if actual Zen would really do something to hurt her feelings. I mean, he kinda seems like the best bf material in the whole game, if you put aside the narcissism and the career issues. But, even then, he’s still lovable. I…I can never bring myself to hate him. orz Damn cheeky bastard.
Actually, I think the only two people who would accidentally hurt MC’s feelings would be our twin boys, but it wouldn’t be on purpose, they love her too much to do that.
Regardless I’ll still write this out (*・∀-)☆ I do want to make it clear that for these types of scenarios, the cheating ones moreso, I do think they’re extremely OOC, BUT we all have our own opinions!

——-

It was obvious he shouldn’t have done it. After a few days of you gone, moved in with someone in the RFA (No one would tell him who), your absence hit him the most. A week after, and he couldn’t even focus at practice- Getting his lines mixed up with apologies he kept forming for you.

Thankfully, you didn’t try to make this ‘public’ for him. He didn’t know why, but it gave him a bit of hope. Maybe he could fix this? Maybe he could prove that you meant so much more to him than that coworker…

Buzzed with feelings of hope and his fourth can of beer, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, finding your name and, after a deep breath, calling.

The first ring he started holding his breath. After the second ring, he knew that’s when your phone would start going off. What were you doing right now? Were you crying? Waiting for him to call you back? Wait-

You sent him to voicemail. He wanted to leave one, but apparently your inbox was full? 

How many people were calling you…Was it about this? Was from old boyfriends or guys who were wanting you now that you were single??

He set his can down, navigating through his phone menu to the old streams of text messages the two of you had shared. He almost went through them again, having his heart ache at how sweet things were before he fucked up, but his worries of you with another man fueled him to start working on a new message.

Starting it off with apologies, he skipped any awkward greetings, and as he was working on trying to type out his worries and love for you, he got a text from you.

Don’t call me again. Don’t force me to block your number, Zen, and just leave me alone.

Why would you want to block his number? Frowning, he hastily finished his text and sent it, hoping his apology would help-

Zen, I’m not even going to read that. Stop messaging me, or else I’ll get Seven to block this number, or any other numbers you try to contact me on.

His throat was dry instantly. Were you…Staying with Seven? Was it in a friendly way or was he taking this opening to…

He rubbed at his eyes a bit, trying to think of something to send.

“You won’t even consider my apology?”

Sending it without a second though, he started tapping his foot anxiously, waiting for your reply. If you were staying with Seven, he could block the number very quickly. That was probably childs play for him.

He watched the time on his phone seemingly refusing to move past onto the next minute. He felt his eyes start to ache, his lungs burn as he couldn’t breathe out.

No, I won’t. Zen, I didn’t ask anything from you. I let you follow your career, I let you flirt with your fans, I let you go out drinking- All because I trusted you. I thought I shouldn’t have to worry because you seemed so loyal, and I didn’t want to be overbearing. I didn’t want you thinking I was an uptight bitch or something. But, apparently, even that and everything else I did for you wasn’t enough. My love wasn’t enough for you, and I’m not falling for the same trap twice.

Now seriously, stop texting me. Don’t try to call, don’t even look at me the next time you see me. I’m only keeping your number in case of some RFA related emergency, and that’s it, but id I need to I will have it blocked.

You’re not worth my time anymore, Zen, and it’s time that I finally give it to a person who deserves it.

——

Seven watched you as your lips trembled, tears rolling down your cheeks as you shakily put down your phone, trying repeatedly to maintain some facade to show that this wasn’t affecting you as badly as it was.

Slowly, gingerly, he wrapped an arm around you, and you wasted no time burying yourself against him, letting out a pitiful sob.

“I can have it to where he stops texting you, I can, it’s very quick. You don’t need him trying to again and again.”

You shook your head against his chest, and he felt his heart break for you. You had done so much for all of them, so much more than anyone. You didn’t deserve your heart aching like this.

Dresden Files Books Rated By The Opening Line
  • Storm Front: "I heard the mailman approach my office door, half an hour earlier than usual. He didn't sound right. His footsteps fell more heavily, jauntily, and he whistled. A new guy. He whistled his way to my office door, then fell silent for a moment. Then he laughed."
  • Easily one of the weakest in the series. 3/10.
  • Fool Moon: "I never used to keep close track of the phases of the moon. So I didn't know that it was one night shy of being full when a young woman sat down across from me in McAnally's pub and asked me to tell her all about something that could get her killed."
  • Nicely ominous. Thanks to this book, I also keep track of the phases of the moon. Helped me catch a local werewombat. You have no idea how hard it is to put one of them down. 8/10.
  • Grave Peril: "There are reasons I hate to drive fast. For one, the Blue Beetle, the mismatched Volkswagen bug that I putter around in, rattles and groans dangerously at anything above sixty miles an hour. For another, I don't get along so well with technology. Anything manufactured after about World War II seems to be susceptible to abrupt malfunction when I get close to it. As a rule, when I drive, I drive very carefully and sensibly. // Tonight was an exception to the rule."
  • Not bad, per se, but not all that good. It takes too long to get to its point, which makes it not as good of a hook. 6/10.
  • Summer Knight: "It rained toads the day the White Council came to town."
  • This one makes me giggle. 8/10. Good job.
  • Death Masks: "Some things just aren't meant to go together. Things like oil and water. Orange juice and toothpaste. // Wizards and television."
  • Very relatable. I, too, am no fan of toothpaste in my orange juice. I used to put toothpaste in my orange juice all the time and had no clue why my orange juice tasted so bad. I mean, who knew? 9/10.
  • Blood Rites: "The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."
  • There is no need to explain perfection. 15/10.
  • Dead Beat: "On the whole, we're a murderous race. According to Genesis, it took as few as four people to make the planet too crowded to stand, and the first murder was a fratricide. Genesis says that in a fit of jealous rage, the very first child born to mortal parents, Cain, snapped and popped the first metaphorical cap in another human being. The attack was a bloody, brutal, violent, reprehensible killing. Cain's brother Abel probably never saw it coming. // As I opened the door to my apartment, I was filled with a sense of empathic sympathy and intuitive understanding. // For freaking Cain."
  • One of the all time greats of this series. Lovely illustration of how Dresden feels and catches people up on his relationship with his brother really quick. 10/10.
  • Proven Guilty: "Blood leaves no stain on a Warden's grey cloak. I didn't know that until the day I watched Morgan, second in command of the White Council's Wardens, lift his sword over the kneeling form of a young man guilty of the practice of black magic. The boy, sixteen years old at the most, screamed and ranted in Korean underneath his black hood, his mouth spilling hatred and rage, convinced by his youth and power of his own immortality. He never knew it when the blade came down."
  • Dark. Really sets the tone for the book. Also, I'm, like, totally jealous. Blood stains are the worst. 8/10.
  • White Night: "Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are."
  • I know, right? It's, like, I thought this guy who came into work would be just a normal customer and get his stuff and leave, but, instead, he rants about conspiracy theories and shit when I can't tell him to fuck off. 9/10. Good job.
  • Small Favor: "Winter came early that year; it should have been a tip-off."
  • Not bad, but kinda weak. I mean, did he even consider that maybe winter came early because Global Warming is actually a hoax? I mean, it isn't, but couldn't he at least consider the possibility? 6/10.
  • Turn Coat: "The summer sun was busy broiling the asphalt from Chicago 's streets, the agony in my head had kept me horizontal for half a day, and some idiot was pounding on my apartment door. // I answered it and Morgan, half his face covered in blood, gasped, 'The Wardens are coming. Hide me. Please.'"
  • It's just, like, whaaaaaat? Why's Morgan here? How'd he get all bloody? And, like, he even snuck in some nice foreshadowing with the headache. Really well done. 8/10.
  • Changes: "I answered the phone, and Susan Rodriguez said, 'They've taken our daughter.'"
  • Nice and shocking, making you want to read more, but the last book did a similar shocking opening better. 5/10.
  • Ghost Story: "Life is hard. // Dying's easy."
  • Totally relatable. I, like many others, wish for death because life is too hard. Thanks for making me feel better, Harry. 8/10.
  • Cold Days: "Mab, the Queen of Air and Darkness, monarch of the Winter Court of the Sidhe, has unique ideas regarding physical therapy."
  • One would imagine. I mean, did you hear her TED talk on it? Fascinating stuff. She's an innovator in the field. 7/10.
  • Skin Game: "There was a ticking time bomb inside my head and the one person I trusted to go in and get it out hadn't shown up or spoken to me for more than a year."
  • Don't you just hate it when you have a time bomb in your head? I know I do. But not all of us know bomb defusal experts. We're not all as lucky as you are, Dresden. I had to defuse my time bomb myself. Dick. 4/10.
Style~Sirius Black Songfic

A/N: I burned 50 calories while writing this. How you may ask? I burned calories because I wrote this while on a fucking treadmill. Welcome to the series of inexplicable events that make up my life, including me bringing my phone to fitness class to write fanfiction of a young Sirius Black based off a modern Taylor Swift song. Gif’s not mine

Based off: Style by Taylor Swift-1989

Pairing: Young!Sirius Black x reader

Word Count: 1266

Warnings: Smoking?

Originally posted by act-more-like-a-dog-sirius






Midnight,

You come and pick me up, no headlights

A long drive,

Could end in burning flames or paradise

Fade into view, oh, it’s been awhile since I have even heard from you (heard from you)

I should just tell you to leave ‘cause I

Know exactly where it leads but I

Watch us go 'round and 'round each time

Sirius Black. He was a player, that was for sure, but I always thought that maybe he wasn’t actually trying to be. Maybe he was just trying to find the right person and ended up going through way more girls than he thought he would. Whether that was true or not, he still dated all these girls and than left them without a second glance. I was, in a way, one of those girls. Except I was special. I was the only one who he gave that second glance to. He came back to me a few times and even though I was almost sure that it wouldn’t last, I went with it. Every damn time.

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