why did i do this omg kill me

DEH thoughts

Act one:

Best decision I’ve ever made
Chills on the last note of WTAW
The monologues are killing me
WTAW HAS A REPRISE?
Evan in the scene with the Murphy parents AHHH
I feel real bad for Cynthia
He fiddles w his shirt it so precious
Fiddling w his shoelace too omfff
OMG SINCERELY ME
THE CHEST BUMP
Also Jared is quality ™
WHY DIDNT THEY SAY KINKY THO
Laura Dreyfus yesss
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED
awwww noooo heidi
She was Buddhist last year
Evans blurting out in the scene w Zoe I love it
I’m noticing all his tics and stuff be prepared for fic accuracy improvement
Jared is hilarious
Alana is… kinda a terrible person… but like… I know why she is and it makes me feel bad for her…
The way Connor’s ghost (?) and Evan interact gives me a fic idea
I’m so ready for you will be found I don’t think that what anyone has said will even compare
HOLY SH-
THE NOTECARDS
is he… crying?
THE VOICES
Cynthia and Evans hug ajhhhh
ZOE YESSS
this staging is beautiful
did they…. bang after act one… that was some considerable make out
OK BUT AHHHHHH
AHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THIS IS WONDERFUL
ITS ETHERAL
AHHHHHHHHHH
expect a lot of fic this week
and chapter five of accidental
ON TO ACT TWO

Act two:

HERE COMES THE REPRISE OMG
what is this it’s crack omgg
awwww Jared just wants to be his friend
This is sad! Heidi! Don’t yell at the boy! farEvan! Tell the truth! Just! Be happy!
he went off his meds that’s not good oh no evannn nooooo
thisglove IS reallycool wOW
Aw evan
EVAN YOU TOLD THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR DAD IM SO PROUD OF YOU
We should throw a kegger! In three hours!
DATIngofficiallyorwhATEVER
Zoe doesn’t have a lot of stage time wow
Zoe’s “well…”
Evan’s blinking and again, general anxious tics are so great
Evan flinched away from Larry touching him aw
DONT YELL HEIDI DONT YELL EVAN PLEASE
evan bby just tell the truth
SLAY HEIDI I LOVE YOUR COUCE AND ACTING I JUST LOVE YOU
OH MY GOD THE JARED INTERACTION
damn this is my fave song and fave staging so far
did you fall… or did you let go?
I DIDNT KNOW THAT I NEEDED MIKE FAIST SINGING FOR FOREVER
Alana is so mean to evan it makes me sad
WTF ALANA DONT DO THAT
WHY WOULD YOU POST THAT
the ywbf reprise is so upsetting
omg
I wrote it
THIS IS PAINFUL TO LISTEN TO
E V A N
THE TEARS ON HIS FACE
TELL YOUR MOM THAT YOU JUMPED YOULL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER EVAN
evan in so big/ so small is killing me
they’re crying so much I’m so sad
THE HUG OMG
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
IM EMOTIONALLY RUINED
I NEED TO SEE IT LIVE NOW

Boruto recap Ep. 6

“The Final Lesson!”

•I SCREECHED when Shikadai punched Boruto upside his sunshine ass head then continued to put him in a headlock.
•Boruto & Shikadai’s friendship is everything! Everything! 🗣I won’t let anything come between them! Not even the writers!
•now that I’ve gotten to see so much Shikadai & Boruto interactions, I’m kinda mad that I won’t see them on a team together cause of the Ina-Shika-Cho tradition. They would make a great team.
•Shino has had ENOUGH!
•low key glad that Shino got to flex his powers on these bad ass kids so they can spread the word to the other youth.
•The fact that Boruto & Shikadai were in distress & Mitsuki was chillin.
•Shikadai doesn’t trust Mitsuki & it’s very reminiscent of his daddy.
•& Boruto being clueless about Mitsuki & saying he’s not gonna let anybody die, just like his daddy too!
•Mitsuki is still such a mystery & it’s killing me! I want to know everything like right now.
•He’s also a bad bitch. He used 3 different jutsus in one episode. Wind, the linguini arms & lightning.
•that whole scene in the lake was real precious.
•& what did Boruto, Shikadai & Mitsuki do? THAT!
•I loved the transition of Kurenai talking about how Shino was able to make friends then it cuts to the Hokage’s office with Naruto & Shikamaru.
•"It’s a pity that he took after you.“ Bdjcgvsvskdo! LMAO! Omg! (I know a lot of y'all are gonna furiously write a dissertation about why Shino should be glad that Boruto takes after Naruto instead of Hinata. And I just wanna say, relax. It’s a joke.)

Thoughts on next ep:
•yaaassss! A ChoCho episode!
•seems my girl has an admirer & why wouldn’t she???
•I’m also really curious about how Boruto is gonna make this his business. 😹

BLOGRATES + MOODBOARDS

hey wonderful people! i’m pretty bored right now so i decided to do this little thing, also i want new songs to listen so… let’s do it ;))

rules:

  • you don’t have to be following me but i would appreciate if you did!
  • reblog this post to spread the word
  • send me an ask with a cool song rec + the corresponding emoji/s
  • blackilst “jude does things” if you don’t want to see this
  • also you can request any of these, even all

format under the cut!

Keep reading

I will answer-

Todd will answer-

Viola?

Are you calling for me?

Keep calling for me-

Keep doing it, keep coming to save me-

Cuz every day yer closer-

I can almost hear you-

I can almost-

Is that you?

Is that us?

Is that what we did?

Viola?

Keep calling for me-

And i’ll keep searching for you-

And i’ll find you-

You bet yer life on it-

I’ll find you-

Keep calling for me, Viola-

Cuz here i come.

—  PATRICK NESS ACTUALLY KILLING ME
Congratulations, It’s A Boy!

Requested By Anon.

Pairings: Clint x Reader.


Steve has created a chatroom.

Steve has invited Y/N, Thor, Tony, Nat, Bruce, Clint.

Steve: I am with child

Thor: Congratulations, Steven! I must say I am surprised. I did not think it is possible. I will have to ask Jane about this… Who is the father?

Tony: This explains why you were so cranky today, Cap.

Bruce: Oh my god. Thor, Steve can’t get pregnant.

Thor: But he is with child?

Steve: No, Thor! I’m not pregnant! I am with a child in the training room and I don’t know where he came from* Is what I meant to say. This phone is too small to type properly.

Y/N: Bruce shall we explain where babies come from since Steve is expecting?

Steve: Seriously, which one of you brought a kid to the base? You know it’s not safe!

Tony: Not me.

Nat: Are you sure the baby isn’t yours, Tony?

Tony: What are you implying?

Nat: Oh you know.

Tony: … What does he look like, Spangles?

Tony: NO WAIT HOW WOULD HE HAVE GOTTEN INTO THE BASE, NONE OF MY EXES WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THAT.

Steve: Can one of you please watch over him?

Y/N: Why can’t you watch over him?

Steve: I need to find his parents and Bucky and Sam aren’t doing a very good job.

Bucky has joined the chat.

Bucky: HELP US PLEASE

Bucky: TAKE THIS CHILD AWAY

Bucky: HE THINK IT’S FUNNY TO CHASE SAM AND I WITH SNOT ON HIS TINY LITTLE FINGERS

Y/N: Awww does he have a cold?

Tony: Record it!

Bucky: WE DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! SOMEONE COME TAKE HIM AWAY!

Bruce: I can’t. I don’t want to risk hulking out. I’ll bring by some stuff for his cold but then I’m leaving.

Bucky has left the chat.

Bruce has left the chat.

Thor: Oh, what’s that?! Loki is back to his villainous ways! I must stop him!

Y/N: No he’s not!

Thor: ARRRGH HE HAS CAST A SLEEPING CURSE UPON ME!

Y/N: Loki is with me right now and he says stop acting like an imbecile.

Thor: OOOOOH! It is all an illusion! AAAAH! Magic! He’s not really there! You have been fooled. A TRICK!

Thor has left the chat.

Y/N: COWARD!

Tony: I would love to babysit but…

Tony: Who am I kidding? I wouldn’t. Bye!

Tony has left the chat.

Y/N: Unbelievable.

Nat: They’re basically kids themselves. It’s actually good they won’t babysit.

Steve: Nat, Y/N? Please?

Y/N: Yeah, okay. It’s just unfair that the rest won’t help!

Nat: Why’s Clint so quiet?

Y/N: I think this is the longest he’s gone without talking.

Steve: You know what’s weird? This kid looks a lot like Clint.

Y/N: You don’t suppose he is Clint’s spawn?

Nat: I would know if it was.

Y/N: Nat and I are at the training room now but Bucky and Sam don’t want us to look after the kid.

Steve: What?! They wanted to get rid of him 5 minutes ago!

Nat: Seems like they’ve bonded with him.

Sam has joined the chat.

Sam: Steve, we’re handling it. It’s okay. We got this. No need for Y/N and Nat to help.

Nat: Then why is he trying to run away from you two?

Sam has added Bucky.

Bucky: Do you really think we’ll just hand him over?! We looked after him!

Steve: The entire time you spent looking after him you and Sam were freaking out!

Y/N: It’s obvious the kid wants to come with Nat and I so just hand him over!

Sam: NEVER!

Bucky: HE IS OURS!

Y/N: GIVE US THE CHILD!

Sam: STAY BACK RUMPELSTILTSKIN!

Nat: You idiots made him cry now! LET HIM COME TO US!

Bucky: FINE BUT BE GENTLE WITH HIM!

Sam: Um. Why did he stop crying as soon as Y/N started holding him?

Bucky: … I suppose Y/N and Nat can watch him until you find his parents, Steve.

Nat: He is so adorable! Seems like Y/N is his favorite out of the four of us.

Sam: :(

Sam has left the chat.

Bucky: I will check in every ten minutes!

Bucky has left the chat.

Steve: I’ll let you know when I find his parents.

Y/N: Wait, did he tell you his name? Because he won’t tell us.

Steve: No. I was hoping you could find out.

Steve has left the chat.

Y/N has left the chat.

Nat has left the chat.

Tony has joined the chat.

Tony: I FIGURED OUT WHO THE KID IS!

Tony: Oh

Tony has added Steve.

Tony: I FIGURED OUT WHO THE KID IS!

Steve: Who?

Tony: IT’S CLINT!

Steve: Go annoy Bruce.

Tony: I’m serious. Seems like Clint was messing around in the lab. Good news: My machine works. Bad news: It’s now broken. It’s going to take me a while to repair it so Clint is going to be stuck like that for a while. Hopefully the effect wears off before I can repair it.

Steve: I really need a vacation after this. I’ll let the others know.

Tony: No! Don’t tell them. We don’t want them freaking out now, do we?

Steve: For the first time, I actually agree with you.

Tony: Shocking.

Steve has cleared the chat.

Steve has added Nat, Y/N.

Steve: How is everything? Is the kid fine?

Nat: Everything is good! He’s with Y/N now and they’re playing with some toys Sam bought him. He adores her so much! He had picked out flowers and gave them to her. I’m dying from all the cuteness.

Tony: I KNEW CLINT LIKED Y/N!

Tony: I mean, looks like the kid has a crush!

Nat: Steve, did you find his parents yet?

Steve: Not yet. We need to name the kid for now. We can’t keep calling him “the kid.”

Tony: MAYBE CLINTON HUH?

Nat: Sam and Bucky have already named him James Jr.

Steve: WHY NOT STEVEN

Tony: WHY NOT ANTHONY

Nat: He is too innocent and pure to be named after you, Tony.

Tony has left the chat.

Steve: good

Thor has joined the chat.

Thor: I wish to hold the tiny human.

Nat: No! You had your chance.

Thor: I was scared! The closest I’ve come to looking after a child is Mjolnir!

Nat: You’re not worthy to hold James Jr, Thor.

Thor: PREPOSTEROUS! I AM THE ONLY WORTHY ONE HERE!

Steve: vision. elevator. me. table.

Nat: He only lets Y/N or me hold him!

Thor: And now me!

Nat: I won’t allow it!

Steve: are you guys really fighting over a kid?

Y/N: YOU PULLED AN ODIN AS SOON AS YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT JAMES JR.

Steve: shameful, really

Thor: WHO IS WATCHING THE CHILD IF YOU ARE HERE, LADY Y/N?!

Y/N: Bucky is.

Thor: WELL IT IS MY TURN!

Steve: I really need a break

Nat: NO. COME NEAR HIM AND WE’LL END YOU!

Steve: is this what Fury feels like when we don’t listen

Thor: Lady Natasha… Why would you say that?

Nat: SORRY BUT OUR MAMA BEAR INSTINCTS ARE KICKING IN

Vision has joined the chat.

Vision: Wanda and I wish to spend some time with James Jr.

Thor: DO NOT WASTE YOUR WORDS, VISION! THEY ARE ADAMANT ON NOT LETTING ANYONE ELSE NEAR THE CHILD.

Y/N: Sure, Vis!

Nat: He’s in Y/N’s room with Bucky.

Y/N: Don’t let him trick you into giving him coffee!

Vision: I won’t. Thank you.

Vision has left the chat.

Thor: WHAT IN THE NINE REALMS!

Steve: if they start fighting I’m going to go crazy

Thor: I WILL FIND MY OWN CHILD TO WATCH OVER!

Steve: please don’t kidnap someone’s child.

Thor has left the chat.

Y/N: Wait Steve did you just imply that you’re worthy?

Steve: NO

Steve: WHO SAID THAT

Steve has left the chat.

Bucky has joined the chat.

Bucky: WHERE’S JAMES JR?!

Bucky: WHY THE HELL IS CLINT NAKED ON YOUR BED?!

Bucky: I TURN AWAY FOR TWO SECONDS AND JAMES JR. IS GONE AND INSTEAD IT’S CLINT FLASHING ME!

Y/N: what are you talking about

Bucky: OMG MAYBE CLINT FELL FROM THE VENTS AND CRUSHED HIM!

Bucky has left the chat.

Nat: I am… confused.

Clint: … Thanks for looking after me!

Y/N: WAIT WTF CLINT

Nat: you’re not saying…

Clint: Yes. I’m “James Jr”. Kinda sad the effect wore off so quickly. I was enjoying spending all that time with you, Y/N.

Nat: YOU WERE LIKE A SON TO ME

Y/N: BUCKY AND SAM THINK YOU KILLED JAMES JR

Nat: THEY WERE PROUD PARENTS

Y/N: HOW DO WE EXPLAIN THIS TO THEM?

Nat: WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TURN BACK?!

Nat has left the chat.

Sam has joined the chat.

Sam: WHERE IS MY SON?!

Clint:

Sam: OH GOD NO WHY

Sam has left the chat.

Clint: So now that I’m no longer a kid.. Would you like to go out later?

Y/N: Your timing is perfect. Really. How many first dates are started like this? None… But yes.

Clint: Oh and can you bring me some clothes, since you know… I am naked. On your bed. Unless you care to join me?

Y/N has left the chat.

Clint: Well, here goes nothing.

Clint has left the chat.

Scott has joined the chat.

Scott has added Bucky.

Scott: Why did Clint just run by with nothing but a blanket wrapped around him?

Bucky: You don’t want to know. The things I’ve seen…

Scott: … I’m going to go now.

Scott has left the chat.

Bucky has left the chat.

anonymous asked:

Why do kpop fans do the absolute MOST? "OMG __IS SO HOT FUCK ME OMG IM FEELING SO ATTACKED RN!!! __RUINED MY BIAS LIST! BITCH THEY JUST SLAYED MY LIFE! KILL ME!!!! OMG HER ARMPIT IS MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN MY FACE!!! MY EDGES ARE GONE!!! IM DED HOW ARE THEY EVEN REAL???? I CANT BREATH!!! IM FUCKING DONE! IM SHOOKETH! THEY DID THAT!!! HIS RAPS ARE PERFECTION ;U; VISUAL KINGS/QUEENS TBH!" like shut uuuuup. I just can't relate to that type of excessive praising (especially over kpop). It's annoying...

Magnus and Madzie though 😭😭😭 Magnus’s gentle voice and sweet expression and ‘Hello, sweet pea’ kills me.

“I’m Magnus.” (His smile omg!!!)

(Interesting how Madzie took her scarf off to expose her warlock mark and in that way taking all the oxygen away. She didn’t do this to Alec when Valentine invaded the institute, because she knew him from before and didn’t want to hurt him. But I understand why she did so with Magnus, she has never seen him before. She was surprised when it didn’t affect Magnus. Maybe relieved that there was someone else like her)

“I know you’re scared. You don’t have to be.” (Reveals cat eyes! Oh, how I love those eyes). “See? I’m just like you, Madzie. I’m a warlock, too.”

(Magnus’s looks at the man on the floor that Madzie killed, maybe because she felt threaten/scared. And with a broken and painful expression, and maybe remembering his younger days as a warlock child, he hurts for Madzie).

“These men are using you for your abilities.

"He said nana was here.” (My poor girl 💔)

“He lied. I wanna help you m, Madzie. For real.” (Magnus earnest and honest expression 😭)

And then Madzie walked towards him and the smile he gave her and how sweetly he looked at her, ugh my heart hurts.

I’m have melted into a puddle, guys…

I wonder who’ll take care of Madzie? Will she stay will Catarina?

Stereotype vs. Reality

Aries: Stereotype- “Oh you got something to say? Try me! You wanna fight?”  Reality- “Oh I hurt you? I didn’t mean to! But I did? lol oops!!”

Taurus: Stereotype- “You can run me over with a bulldozer, I’m not moving.”  Reality- “ I want pizza. Why tacos, I want pizza!! Can we get both than?”

Gemini: Stereotype- “Yeah I was feeling you yesterday, not anymore.”             Reality- “Do you like me? Am I wanted? Please don’t go!!”

Cancer: Stereotype- “I JuSt WANt tO CrY ANd cRY! WhY dO i AlWaYs cRY?”    Reality: “I’m sorry, did you want me to care about your low grade?”

Leo: Stereotype- “Did you know that I’m the sexiest person? Of course you did.” Reality- “So I was sitting in my room and I was like, wow I’m fat.”

Virgo: Stereotype- “DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR CLOTHES ON THE BED I JUST CLEANED?!”  Reality- “lol I used to make mud pies as a kid.”

Libra: Stereotype- “Like dude, the world is so like, awesome. PEACE!!”             Reality- “I hate the world omg. Like please push me off a building.”

Scorpio: Stereotype- “I will kill all of your family in their sleep if you touch me.”  Reality- “Omg I stepped on that dog?? I’m so sorry!!! FORGIVE ME!!”

Sagittarius: Stereotype- “ ha. ha. ha. that’s SOOOOO funny.” *sarcastic tone*  Reality- “ha. ha. ha. that’s SOOOOO funny.” *sarcastic tone* (lol i’m sorry)

Capricorn: Stereotype- “My soul is as empty as a hallow log.”                           Reality- “HAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHA I made you fall!!!”

Aquarius: Stereotype- “What am I doing? YOUR MOM!!! HA GOT’EM!!            Reality- “Please don’t talk to me, I just want to sleep.”

Pisces: Stereotype- “I’m drawing rainbows and unicorns on all my things!”        Reality- “Hey you wanna sell souls with me? No, I meant in that game! I’m not crazy!”

The Joker x Reader  *Past Life*

This was requested by the lovely  brieflylouddonut28:

For once in a very long time, The Joker is fast asleep. You are still awake, trying to silence the voices in your head. Sometimes they get so loud that you just can’t unwind. You move closer to J, burying your face in his neck, attempting not to think about anything. A tiny smile forms on your lips when you inhale his scent: he smells so good. As you rest your right arm on his chest, you feel his heart beating faster and faster. A low growl follows, then his body shudders a few times. Oh, no, not the nightmare again!

You quickly get on your knees, trying to wake him up.

“Baby, wake up,” you shake him gently but he’s still in the dream, tormented. “Hey, wake up!” you intensify your movement and J finally opens his eyes, gasping for air, like someone just choked him. He immediately reaches his hand to grab the gun from under the pillow but you are fast to pin it.

“It’s me, it’s me, stop!” you hover over him for a few seconds before letting go. “Are you ok?” you ask, worried, waiting for him to recollect.

“Yes, I will be in a second,” he sighs, rubbing his face with his fists.

You take your pillows and pile them up against the bed frame, lean against them and slowly pull him in your arms. The Joker doesn’t object and he cuddles for a few moments, resting his face on your breasts.

“What would Batsy think to see me like this, doll, hmm?” He lifts his head, looking in your eyes, waiting for the answer.

“Screw Batsy, what the hell does he know?”, you whisper, stroking his green hair with your hand. J scoffs, a bit amused.

“That’s true, he doesn’t know crap.”

“Go back to sleep J.”

“I don’t think I can…Wanna full around? It would make me feel better,” he grins, kissing your shoulder.

“Whatever makes you feel better, baby,” you chuckle, but then you realize: “She could hear us.”

“No she won’t, she’s on the other side of the penthouse.” The Joker’s hands are already all over you, and he keeps on talking as he kisses all the skin he can see.

“One of these…days…I might have to kill ya…You know too much… about me…”

You violently pull his hair back, panting.
“Please do try, it would… be fun. It’s always cute when you attempt to do it. I warned you: assassins are not easy to… kill …Omg, did you just ripped my panties again!? Why can’t you just take them off normally?!”

“Because it’s not sexy, Princess.”

You both start laughing and then you suddenly stop, just staring at each other.

“Com’ere Kitten,” he says after a long pause, grinding his silver grill, shifting his body so you can get on top of him.

******************
Damian Johnson married young; he was only 22 and his bride 21. They were so in love. They both worked for the same gang, climbing their way on top pretty fast. She got pregnant in the first year of marriage and he was so happy he was going to be a father. Everything was moving fast, way too fast, both hungry for power and striving to take over Gotham’s underworld. It wasn’t easy living that life, but they liked it and as every young hot blooded person, thought that nothing would stay in their way…until they pushed it too hard and messed with the wrong people.

Damian lost her and his unborn child in the fire that was set to their home as revenge for what they have done. He was away with business and couldn’t do anything to stop it. Then the nightmares started and they got worst and worst. He always dreamed she was burning alive, screaming his name. He completely lost his mind, spending a few good years in and out of mental institutions, high security prisons for criminally insane, back on the streets to wreak havoc, caught again, escaped again and then…nothing. It was like he vanished from the face of the earth. The FBI, police and Secret Service spared no expense in looking for him since he was on the list of most wanted criminals. But he was just gone.

*****************

***First time you met her was in June on a Saturday-about a year ago***

You two are at one of your clubs for the night. The Joker sits on his velvet couch in the VIP room and your favorite spot is to sit on your big, fluffy pillow at his feet, resting your elbow on his knees. You always like to wear form fitting black slacks and a white dressy shirt when you have business meetings going on. You keep your guns in a dark red holster in plain sight, just like the Joker. The meeting just ended and now you are just laughing at something silly you guys remembered from when you first met so many years ago.

“Excuse me, boss,” Frost parts the silver beads, stepping in. ”Sorry to interrupt, but we have a situation outside and I think you should know about it.”

“What is it, Jonny?” you inquire, curious to hear about something that might spice up the rest of the night.

“There’s a young woman at the door, not old enough to get in and she says she won’t leave until she talks to Mister J.”

“Just give her a push and tell her to get lost!” The Joker smirks, pointing out the exit with his cane.

“We tried, but she is causing quite a scene, we don’t want to draw any unwanted attention.”

“Jesus, Frosty, I’ll come check,” you offer. “Another crazy one seeking for our attention. Make sure she’s not wired and check the perimeter a few blocks around before you bring her in the soundproof room in the basement. I don’t want no trouble for J. Double the security all around. “

“Of course, N/A, give me and the boys a few minutes, I’ll let you know when she’s in.”

Frost leaves and you get on your feet, stretching  a bit, checking your two guns to make sure they are loaded, even if you know they are.

“This is stupid, Pumpkin, you shouldn’t bother, let Panda kill her or something,” the Joker smiles, tilting his head while looking at you. His pale face seems emotionless now.

“I’ll go, I don’t mind, Puddin. I’ll be back shortly; you just sit here and look handsome, all right? Enjoy the show, the girls are doing a great job tonight. Want anything before I leave?”

“Yeah, you,” he purrs with an evil spark in his ice cold blue eyes.

You giggle, kissing him roughly while you rubbing yourself against him.

“I’ll be back, hold on…and then we can have some fun,” you finally break the kiss, heading towards the stairs. Panda guards the outside of the VIP room with 7 other guys. You stop in front of him, baffled.

“You don’t get hot in that, Richard? Must be 1000 degrees in there. You know, taking your mask off is not gonna kill you.”

“But I like it, N/A,” the muffled voice replies, lifting his shoulders up.

“Suit yourself, Rich, just don’t faint on me, I need you alert, we might have something going on. Eyes on J, all of you; nothing happens to him, OK?”
“Yes, m’am,” he salutes.

“Don’t be a smart ass with me,” you threaten, shaking your head as you walk away.

“Sorry, N/A.”

You have time for a drink before Frost finds you to tell you they have the girl where you wanted her.

Your high hills echo on the basement’s floor. You open the door loudly and that startles the young woman sitting on the chair, already guarded by two henchmen.

“She’s clean, N/A, no proof of anything going on,” Frost reports, positioning himself to your left.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk…Could you gentlemen leave us for a few moments while we girls talk?” you demand, sucking on your teeth.

The goons leave. You take one of you guns out and pull up your sleeves, revealing your numerous Joker themed tattoos. The girl looks frightened and she should be, she can’t take her eyes off your weapon.

“Do you know who I am?”  She nods a shy yes.

“Well, sweetheart,” you start talking, getting closer,” what’s your deal, ha? Are you in need of attention or do you have a death wish tonight? You look young, I’m sure it’s past your bedtime,” you mock her, irritated.

“I’m 17…” she nervously gulps.

“I’m sorry, did I ask you to tell me your age???!” you snap at her and she jumps, alarmed. You inhale, trying to somehow control your vexation. “Why are you here?”
“I… I need to talk to the Joker…”

“ You mean MISTER J, sweetheart?,” you interrupt, sulking.

I’m sorry… Mister J…”

“And why would that be, hmm? What do you want?”

She hesitates telling you so you’re losing your patience. You start yelling:

“Here’s how it works: nothing gets to him until it clears through me. Do you think you just ask to see him and it happens? !” You take the safety off you gun and point it towards her head. “You have 10 seconds to tell me what is going on.”

The girl starts whimpering. “I… I think he’s my father…”

Bam! The bullet barely misses her head; you sure never heard that one before.

“I’ll be damn, that was less than 10 seconds and I already want to kill you!” Your finger gets on the trigger again.

“Please, please don’t…”she closes her eyes, sobbing. “My mother’s name was Sarah Johnson and my father’s name was Damian Johnson.”

Your hand freezes.

“How the hell do you know those names?” you shriek, shocked that came out of her mouth. She continues to speak and crying in the same time.

“I’ve always been looking for my parents. I was raised in foster homes and trying to find out who I am until I got a hold of my file and started researching my past. I’ve been gathering information for the past year and I kind of came to the conclusion that…”

“You’re trippin’, little girl, and I have no more patience for your nonsense. Sarah Johnson is dead and her child died with her,” you bite on your lip, starting to feel uneasy. “I’ve never killed someone this young before, but, well, there’s a first time for everything,” you mutter, furrowing your eyebrows. She has the nerve to continue:

“They got my mother out the fire and took her to the hospital, that’s what the file says. She was barely hanging to her life, burned all over, but they were able to save her baby…They didn’t know who she was at the moment, they deemed her Jane Doe for a very long time. Her name and my father’s weren’t easy to come by. Here, I have everything with me. He could…we could…do some…” she whimpers, taking out a bunch of papers out of her purse, shaking. You yank all of it out of her hand and back out, opening the door.

“You don’t get to make any requests, sweetheart, thank your lucky star you are still alive. Frosty, keep a close eye on her, if she moves a muscle, fucking shoot her. I’ll be back.”

“Will do, Y/N.”

********************

There were rumors spreading around Gotham’s underworld about a mysterious young girl working with the Joker and Y/N. They were just speculations, of course, but some swore they saw her with the two of them in different places before all hell broke loose. Nobody knew who she was and how she ended up with them, but one thing was certain: the ones that got a glimpse at her disclosed that the Queen and King of Crime simply addressed her with Miss J.

Also read - MASTERLIST :

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

anonymous asked:

Can we talk about the scene where a dying Ragnar told his son Bjorn that he must lead with his head not with his heart???? Like why would he even say that?? Did he actually mean what I think he meant like was he telling him: Don't do my mistakes bc omgfgyihdlgirdzefh???

Nonny omg okay so LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS LINE AND WHY IT KILLS ME EVERY SINGLE TIME I THINK ABOUT IT!!!

So Ragnar was basically on his deathbed for an entire month after his baptism, resigned to dying and comforting himself with the knowledge that “at least I know I will see Athelstan again…”

And look at him… look how fucking broken he is loOK AT HIM CLUTCHING THAT CROSS (AND KISSING IT??? SERIOUSLY HE’S LITERALLY KISSING IT??????) AND HIS POOR TENDER HEART IS ACHING BECAUSE HE WON’T LIVE TO SEE PARIS BUT AT LEAST HE WILL BE WITH HIS LOVE AGAIN SOON AND THAT IS ENOUGH.

But time passes, and he doesn’t die, and maybe he ever begins to feel a bit better and he comes up with his plan to finally prove Athelstan wrong, but he knows that this entire siege, everything he is doing, everything he has done since Athelstan’s death has been motivated by his heart and his heart alone. I would argue even many decisions he made before that were motivated by his love for Athelstan (what’s the consensus on why he killed the farmer? Because I feel like it was mostly to stop the news from spreading and to keep everyone from blaming Athelstan for that failure, since that was the conclusion Floki jumped to immediately).

ANYWAYS Ragnar has a big soft heart, especially when it comes to a certain someone, and in so many ways it’s clouded his judgement, and it’s lead him to sacrifice his own people for the sake of revenge, and it’s lead him to be motivated not so much by his desire for knowledge and new land, but by love and honoring the memory of the one person who still owns his heart even in death…

Lead with your head, Bjorn, because love leads you to do crazy things. Lead with your head, because putting your heart first will only leave you miserable and broken. Lead with your head, because Paris was always about my heart, and if I had never fallen in love I would have been a far greater king than I have proven to be…

A rant about TWD viewership

I’m sooooo tired of people complaining about the walking dead. If you don’t like it don’t watch. It’s that simple. 1. “Its too slow, too many bottle episodes.” You complain about pacing. Exsqueeze me but have we all watched season two. I thought that was one of THE slowest paced seasons ever. Still loved it. Got a lot of character development. Rick’s character evolved. Carl evolved. Daryl evolved. One of my favorite seasons to re-watch. The 4b was slow. 5b was slow. Character development is important, duh, because on the flip side I hear “it’s too much action, I never learn about the character. (Yall tripping). 2. “All they do is run around and try and survive a new bad person. Its the same rinse and repeat cycle.” There is never any hope. Um, it’s called “The Walking Dead,” not “The Hoping Dead” TF. It’s a show about a mass extinction event, and how survivors deal with not only zombies, but the people who survive(and let’s face it, bad people are going to make it in this world more than good people). 3. “My favorite died, I’m not watching anymore.” Hands down I loved me some Shane, Hershel, amd Glenn, but their deaths moved the show in a new direction (Nobody stopped watching GOT after the red wedding, and I loved me some Rob Stark, hell I loved Ned ass and he died before the season one finale). Your favorites will die, sorry, that’s how the cookie crumbles. 4. Negan is getting all the shine and I hate seeing Rick emasculated. (So nobody remember farming ass Rick who didn’t want to go on runs, just wanted to catch rabbits and shit.) 5.“ How long can they keep doing the same: it’s a bad guy and we have to kill him/her. ” (Um Law and Order went on for 25 years following the same formula: kill someone/prosecute the offender.) Game of thrones has the same cycle. Death, revenge, plotting, death, revenge, plotting. (Shut the fuck up.) 6.“ Glenn never kills, I wish he would kill someone.” “Omg why did he kill them, this makes me dislike him.” (Shut up). I could go on and on. I love this show. It’s on a cable channel with limited funding, so it’ll never be a blockbuster like Game of Thrones. Never. The appeal of the show has never wavered with me. If you dont like it, casually slip your ass away, like you bandwagoned your ass in. I liked the show better when only comic readers followed it. We were excited to see it come alive on tv. I watched law and order for like 15 years straight, it never got old. I doubt this show will either, and when it runs its course, I’ll be sad cause I really live and breath TWD. But for all you naggers and complainers,

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

truth or dare

Cancer: I don’t know the rules !

Sagittarius: It’s easy, look: Scorpio, truth or dare ?

Scorpio: Dare.

Sagittarius: Get naked.

Scorpio: what the actual…

Taurus: I’LL DO IT !

Sagittrius + Gemini + Libra + Pisces: nO

—————————————————————————————————-

Leo: Your turn.

Capricorn: Okay um… dare

Leo: Soo… go outside and scream: I have no money !

Capricorn: what… ah okay

Gemini: Omg Cap’s really doing it people !

Capricorn: I HAVE NO MONEY !!

*somewhere in a distance*: THEN SHUT UP AND GO TO THE BANK

—————————————————————————————————-

Cancer: Truth.

Virgo: What’s the most criminological you’ve ever done ???

Cancer: I killed 3 people while playing laser games.

Everyone else:

Cancer:

—————————————————————————————————-

Aquarius: Air.

Libra: What did you say ?

Leo: I think Aquarius said Dare.

Taurus: Yeah it sounded like Dare.

Libra: For me it sounded like Air.

Aquarius: THAT’S BECAUSE I SAID AIR ! 

Leo: What why ?

Aquarius: BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO PLAY OKAY LET ME SLEEP

—————————————————————————————————-

Aries: Let’s play 7 minutes in hell ?

Libra: no ?

Aquarius: How is it differemt from 7 minutes in heaven ??

Aries: It’s basically the same, except instead of making out, you fight.

Scorpio: that’s the dumbest idea i’ve ever heard…

Pisces: GREAT I WANT TO GO WITH SCORPIO

—————————————————————————————————-

Gemini: Cap, your turn again !

Capricorn: i’m not changing; dare.

Pisces: Scream !

Capricorn: what that’s not a dare i’ve been doing that in my head my entire life

Virgo: Man you okay ?

escapaertist  asked:

following you because i too am a soft joon stan and all of your content is so quality??? how do you do it

url: don’t get it | not bad | nice | good job | love it omg | who did you kill
theme: not my type | ehh | decent | I like it | pretty amazing | I’m stealing it
icon: don’t get it | not bad | nice | pretty | flawless omg | brb killing myself
posts: not my type | not bad | nice job | love | perfection | give me your password
following: no sorry | just followed | yes | you mean stalk what
Comments: MY BLOG IS TRASH BUT THANK YOU

Originally posted by bangtan

TELL ME WHY YOU FOLLOW ME FOR A BLOG RATE

at around eighteen minutes: LANCE JUST COMMUNICATED WITH THE LION ohmygod lance what r u doin you’re gonna kill them all
smh sHush keith don’t discourage your boyfriend he’s a gr8 pilot

around 20 min: THEY’RE IN SPACE oh hey what’s that purple ship
lol shiro why are you making this all about yourself
skdnjdISBKSIW PURPLE LASERS
omg the music lmao bUt hey the blue lion just scraped the side of the ship neato
this is action packed i love it

21 min: where *does* that wormhole lookin shit go also why did pidge’s timid voice make me want to cry also yeah shiro you’re the senior officer where do we go
THEY’RE A TEAM NOW AWW
woo they escaped !!
the lion is,,, going home,, im so emo
lion go nyoooooooom
awwww klance bickering cute
lance you’re so gros o m f

24 min: an altean(???) castle what do you call this country/planet
shiro’s crew was captured once and he’s not gonna let it happen again if that doesn’t scream protective space dad what does like he just adapted to the fact that they’re a team so quickly whoa
lol aw hunk

26: it’s allura !! my wife !! she’s so beautiful !! her accent i’m swooning
also if i wasn’t emo before then i definitely am now bc allura’s first word was father but isn’t he like dead //: but also her eyes are so pretty !!
oh planet altea
cORAN CORAN TGE GORGEOOYS MAN
his,, voice ohmy
q u i z n a k
lance ur so cute ahh
ten thousand years ?? ohmygod
ew zarkon
dead parent angst
okay but seriously can you imagine waking up not knowing what happened but soon discovering you’ve been “asleep” for 10000 years to find out your assumingly loving parent died fighting for you god the grief poor bb allura

30: smh lance’s first language isn’t english so of course he might not immediately realize that 10000 years is one thousand x 10 what tH efuck keef it was a simple communication error but also laNCE don’t call him a dropout ajndifneidjisiw do they usually argue this much ugh
why did hunk just eat an unknown substance omg
the last,,,,, alteans alive,, that’s so sad
wAIT OMFGG CUTE ALIEN MICE (,,,,,,,:

A New Path - Chapter 3

I wanted to show how my Fox!Nath would look like from above. So how his hair would be. Some of you might have already seen this drawing before, it’s also my icon. Sorry, got a bit lazy drawing a new one xD I just want to thank everyone for reading “A New Path” and I plan to draw some more drawings for this fanfic! >w< Enjoy reading~!

C.1 | C.2 |

Keep reading

Do you ever just...

Get so embarrassed by something the MC does that you have to fast forward or just completely set your phone down a take a break? Like she does something so stupid and have to just sit there mortified… Like why did you just do that? I didn’t tell you you could do that! Plz stahp, you’re killing me here and there’s nothing I can do about it😂😂