why can't i handle myself

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

I’m not better, okay? I’m not better! And I keep waiting for someone to figure that out, and - they don’t! I mean, of course they don’t. ‘Cause as long as I say the right things and I act the right way, they’re happy because that means they cured me, right?
—  How did we get here? - Red Band Society

Okay, so, dunno if this is a thing anyone can relate to but I can stare at a number and not comprehend it. Or my brain will straight up tell me it’s an entirely different number. I can read an equation over and over and the numbers look weird idk

currently in that nice fuzzy state in between consciousness and meds fully working to put me to sleep and im scrolling thru my pics and i feel so happy look g at all these pretty blurry pics of the sky and my saved drunk selfies with ali and just all these nice moments and i feel happy for a moment at least and it’s so nice I’m actually crying. I just want to be happy. just for a little bkt.