Tumblr needs to learn...
…that just because a character reminds you of someone, THEY ARE NOT THAT PERSON!
Same goes for characters you identify with. Its great that you’ve found a character to connect with, but they are not you.
I’m really sick of seeing posts like “this character reminds me of my abuser, why do people like them?”
Because the world doesn’t revolve around you. Other people don’t have access to your specific memories. We’re not a hive mind, even if fandom mentality tries to prove otherwise.
Yeah, it sucks that a character reminds you of someone negative in your life. But that character shouldn’t be blamed for that. I know that’s a difficult thing to do, because if something does have that “this reminds me off…” feel to it, you have a kneejerk reaction to it. Be it good or bad.
But you don’t get to use your specific history to police what other people like. Being an abuse victim is not an “I win” button. Because, guess what? You’re not alone. On the other side, there’s other people who may have similiar experiences. In fact, there’s a big chance that there are.
So when you use your specific history to “win” an argument/discussion, you are essentially saying that your history is more important than anyone elses. And, sorry, but it isn’t. You are the main character in your own story, not anyone else’s. Everyone has survived something, you are not unique. Its harsh, but true.
Don’t wanna see a specific character or topic? Blacklist it. Block it. Its your own responsibility to keep yourself free from whatever topic upsets you. Not anyone else’s.
Another argument I see a lot is “Jasper is an abuser, because I was abused” which…….do I really have to point out the flaws in that argument? Ok, maybe Jasper ticks of some warning signs for you. That sucks. But Jasper is not that person. And you are the only one who might have that reaction to her. Other people might find her to be a character they can identify with. Your experiences are not more valid than theirs.
What makes this argument worse is that certain posters that use this argument will also make stuff up to further their argument and, yes, the “I was abuser” WILL be in there somewhere. Because fandom thinks that that makes them some kind of authority on the subject. News flash, you’re not.
This attitude has led to other people feeling like they have to divulge their personal history in order to be allowed to counter-argue. And that is such bullshit. Like I said, your personal history is not an “I win” button. Its not about you!
Its gotten to the point where whenever I see posts that start with “I’m a abuse survivor…” I immediately check out. Because at this point, those posts are not going to be an interesting take on a character, a plot point or a story. It will instead be an entitled rant about why OP is right and why everyone else should agree, peppered with “I’m an abuse survivor” as a way to silence everyone who might disagree.
The people on Tumblr needs to realize three main things:
1) A character reminding you of someone doesn’t make them that person. That’s an association fallacy.
2) Your personal history is not an “I win” button. Its not unique, other people might have a similiar history. And theirs is just as valid as yours, so listen instead of talking over them.
3) Last, but not least: Its not about you!