why can't i connect with people

Tumblr needs to learn...

…that just because a character reminds you of someone, THEY ARE NOT THAT PERSON!

Same goes for characters you identify with. Its great that you’ve found a character to connect with, but they are not you.

I’m really sick of seeing posts like “this character reminds me of my abuser, why do people like them?”

Because the world doesn’t revolve around you. Other people don’t have access to your specific memories. We’re not a hive mind, even if fandom mentality tries to prove otherwise.

Yeah, it sucks that a character reminds you of someone negative in your life. But that character shouldn’t be blamed for that. I know that’s a difficult thing to do, because if something does have that “this reminds me off…” feel to it, you have a kneejerk reaction to it. Be it good or bad.

But you don’t get to use your specific history to police what other people like. Being an abuse victim is not an “I win” button. Because, guess what? You’re not alone. On the other side, there’s other people who may have similiar experiences. In fact, there’s a big chance that there are.

So when you use your specific history to “win” an argument/discussion, you are essentially saying that your history is more important than anyone elses. And, sorry, but it isn’t. You are the main character in your own story, not anyone else’s. Everyone has survived something, you are not unique. Its harsh, but true.

Don’t wanna see a specific character or topic? Blacklist it. Block it. Its your own responsibility to keep yourself free from whatever topic upsets you. Not anyone else’s.

Another argument I see a lot is “Jasper is an abuser, because I was abused” which…….do I really have to point out the flaws in that argument? Ok, maybe Jasper ticks of some warning signs for you. That sucks. But Jasper is not that person. And you are the only one who might have that reaction to her. Other people might find her to be a character they can identify with. Your experiences are not more valid than theirs.

What makes this argument worse is that certain posters that use this argument will also make stuff up to further their argument and, yes, the “I was abuser” WILL be in there somewhere. Because fandom thinks that that makes them some kind of authority on the subject. News flash, you’re not.

This attitude has led to other people feeling like they have to divulge their personal history in order to be allowed to counter-argue. And that is such bullshit. Like I said, your personal history is not an “I win” button. Its not about you!

Its gotten to the point where whenever I see posts that start with “I’m a abuse survivor…” I immediately check out. Because at this point, those posts are not going to be an interesting take on a character, a plot point or a story. It will instead be an entitled rant about why OP is right and why everyone else should agree, peppered with “I’m an abuse survivor” as a way to silence everyone who might disagree.

The people on Tumblr needs to realize three main things:

1) A character reminding you of someone doesn’t make them that person. That’s an association fallacy.

2) Your personal history is not an “I win” button. Its not unique, other people might have a similiar history. And theirs is just as valid as yours, so listen instead of talking over them.

3) Last, but not least: Its not about you!


These made me literally gasp and smile when I first read them. I’m so honored, happy, shocked, and proud that you’re able to connect with Stardust that much! Also your brother that sounds similar to Wing Saber WOW my heart

Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sending these <3 <3

As much as I’ve enjoyed fandom and connecting with people with similar interests and backgrounds, being back on this site reminded me why I decided to remove myself from other social media platforms while hesitantly clinging onto this blog. I’d love to remain in contact with those I bonded with (…okay and also so y'all can update me on fandom) so feel free to DM me to swap contact info by next week if you’d like to stay in touch. Some of you have seen me at my best and my worst and have played a massive part in my growth and desire for self-care which I don’t take lightly.


Person of Interest Appreciation Week

Day 5: Favorite quote: “Life is crap. Welcome to the Human race, but the good news is: You’re not alone.”

Oh ya I talked to my sister about xv today cause she finished, and I thought about what would have made some of the ending parts better. Spoilers ahoy~

For starters, getting to know the people of Gralea would help make that whole segment better. Getting to see Ardyn trick the Emperor, turn everyone to daemons and send the MTs haywire after we had some emotional connection to the people there, made even stronger by Prompto’s reveal, would have been great.

Then I think having all four be dragged into the crystal, as the four Warriors of Light (parallel to the early ff games) would make the final scenes with them less awkward. Ten years pass for the other three and like, that’s a long time to be apart from someone so soon after you were reunited in Zagnautus. To me their ten year reunion felt awkward, it aged them differently than crystal stasis did for Noct.

All four are plopped in angelgard, and the boat takes them to Caem instead of galdin. I noticed on the drive with Talcott that I only felt any kind of emotional connection to seeing Longwythe Motel in ruins, likely because of the scene with Prompto there earlier. Because the game has you only go from galdin to hammerhead, any of the places you may have related to in cleigne and duscae you never see in the world of ruin.

Instead you would start at Caem, see the cabin and lighthouse in ruins and begin to wonder how long you’ve been gone. You find a truck that still works and ride to Lestallum, the boys remarking about how much older they might look or places where they remember from their travels before.

At some point before reaching Lestallum, you get attacked by daemons and have to get out of the car to fight, but you’re quickly joined by “Iris the Daemon Slayer” or Aranea or Cor (or any combination of them). They go with you back to Lestallum, explaining a bit about what’s happened. Talcott reveals a chest his father had kept that has their fancy gear in it, they suit up and head for Hammerhead. Reunion with Cindy (was she even there in the world of ruin? I forget) before final campfire scene (which was really good) and return to Insomnia.

This still doesn’t fix the lack of an “ordinary world” phase. All the ads say “reclaim your throne” but like, I need to see Insomnia before it falls to really drive home my emotional connection to it so that when I return it’s meaningful. Not sure how they’d do that, since it would be a lot of cutscenes before the game really begins - a big faux pas nowadays.

honestly i feel like it’s fair enough for nrk to block people outside norway from viewing clips on the website, they’re the ones who will get in trouble over music licenses and they’re not making any money off of international fans watching pirated subtitled versions of the show so we shouldn’t expected them to pay the price so that we can watch it.
plus plenty of people will just use vpn connections to watch it anyway, it won’t be any harder to access than it already is.

What I really want right now
is a connection. It doesn’t have
to be in a romantic way, or
in any specific way really.

I just want to be able to have
a feeling of security with someone
because I’ve become so untrusting
of people and I think it’d be nice
to trust again. I just want to know
if there is someone I can talk to,
about anything and everything.

Is there someone who can make
me feel safe, or wanted, and
ultimately happy? Is there someone
who I can make feel that way?

Although it sounds an awful lot
like love, I’m not looking for a
relationship, of that kind at least.

I just want someone who is willing
and able to understand me just
as much as I am about them.
(But if it becomes more than that,
I’m not opposed to it, just know when
I love, I love hard. Maybe that’s why
I don’t trust much anymore.)

Why Jo is not Derek and Alex will never be Cristina

I completely disagree with people who say Jo should just accept the personship like Derek. Because you can’t compare Derek to Jo- a better comparison would be Jo and Owen because both characters were introduced after the friendship was already established. MerDer was established simultaneously with Mertina Derek knew what he was signing up for. But Owen and Jo fell in love with a person without knowing the deep connection they have with someone who’s not them. And if you recall a major point of contention between Owen and Cristina was her relationship with Mer- Owen wanted Cristina to come to him with her problems. But as fans we never noticed it- in fact I seem to remember many Grey’s forums agreeing with Owen pointing out the flaws in the codependency in Mertina personship. So why is this such a big deal with Jo? I think it’s the fundamental difference that Jo is a women and because Alex is losing himself to fit into a Cristina shaped hole in Meredith’s life.

There is an obvious double standard in viewers - especially when it’s a younger women we habitually are more judgmental- Jo is a newer character and it’s easier for people to write her off as a bitch or whiny or petty - but this is a repeated SL and Owen had the same argument- but no one called him petty or whiny. I’m not going to start preaching feminism but it’s an observation I made and a point that should be talked about

When Cristina was Meredith’s person she was allowed to call Mer out on her shit. Alex used to be able to that but now Alex coddles Meredith because he is trying to be Mer’s Cristina instead of being Mer’s Alex. And by trying to coddle Meredith Alex has lost so much of his character. And I think Jo doesn’t recognizes this Alex. Jo fell in love with a version of Alex that isn’t the guy she’s with right now- the Alex Jo fell in love with was the guy who told her he didn’t want to go to Thanksgiving if she wasn’t there. It’s the Alex who trusted her with the information about his dad- it’s the tiny things that Alex used to do to show how that she was a priority in his life. The little things he no longer does. So Alex has become a really good person for Mer but he’s forgotten how to be a good boyfriend to Jo.

  • notp: literally makes out, passionately
  • me: i don't understand why people ship it. i don't see it at all. i don't think they really like each other.
  • otp: briefly makes eye contact

Let’s talk about recent upd8. Why? Because certain things need to be told, because apparently a lot of people reading latest issue has problem with connecting facts and remembering important things. In a different case I wouldn’t be standing around and talking about this, because in the end it’s a personal experience how a comic and a character from it is viewed; however, in here, we’re dealing with extremely dangerous  thing, which is whitening a Narcissist with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and this is a short path straight to excusing abuse and all shit punk!Vriska is capable of and that she -is very likely to pull off in the future-.

(for anyone wondering why I keep inserting Abel with a harp into these posts, it’s cause his face calms me down)

So yeah, let’s start with a reminder that this Vriska

and this (Vriska)

are not two different beings where one is abusive trash and the other is pure cinnamon roll. (Vriska) wasn’t born the moment this page showed up

both of them started from exact same spot and shared their path until Terezi and John joined forces and derived Vriska from possibility of becoming (Vriska).

In other words, this pile of sadness, *Sniff.*ing and *So8!*bing about being dumped and left to suffer the post-death experience she doesn’t like right here

is just as guilty as Vriska of all horrible things that made Vriska horrible in the first place. Let’s recap:

-killing Aradia;

-crippling, bullying and finally killing Tavros;

-blinding Terezi;

-creating Jack Noir and undermining the whole session of Beta Trolls thanks to that (albeit this has to do with another doomed timeline);

…and just to add to all this, let’s not forget mass ghost!genocide just to 8ait Lord English into following her around.

(Vriska)’s thoughts on all this?

She doesn’t have reflection on all she did wrong in her past, she doesn’t recall her wrongdoings and think about them or any certain specific person she manipulated or made feel bad (be it any of people mentioned above or Equius, Eridan, Aranea, slampora!ed Cronuses, etc.), all she thinks about is herself and how it all mattered to her only as long as she managed to put herself in the good light. She doesn’t stop this either, cause, be it thanks to role inversion or actual piece of Tavros inside her that makes her a little more submissive than usual (same thing with Vriska’s piece inside booty-Pupa-shorts!Tavros that makes him a little less prone to taking bullshit), she completely changes herself and tries to appeal to Meenah just so she’ll see her in good light (in the other words: like her). It’s a clear honeymoon phase of relationship they currently have a fall out from right now (anyone familiar with cycle of abuse surely recognizes this phrase).

So, (Vriska) isn’t a good cookie at all and if you were deluded by her tears or how she let’s her own self bully her, you need a memory check.

Why am I talking about all this? Because of this

Vriska’s tattoo has a lot of relevance, since it’s a really important symbol that already has been aviable in our culture, which is (as I already posted yesterday), this thing

An anchor, right?

Wrong. It isn’t anchor at all. The fact that Vriska owns it (and she shouldn’t) is a very dangerous sign (and the fact it’s redrawn to resemble anchor says a lot); when this is mentioned in literature, the person wearing it usually symbolises two things:

-hope for absolute overturn of events, back of the utopia, brand new world s/he resigns in and leads, which means absolute leader and hero;

-war that preceeds change of events, cruelty and paradise lost, as with losing the old world we lose the paradise we were never aware of we had, misery and danger personified;

That all being said, Hussie is known for putting symbols on characters that say a lot and promise a lot and then never uses/fulfills them, mostly because they’re callback to events past (like troll ancestors) and not the ones to come. This one is different, because (Vriska) gains it as the plot goes on and focuses on her; so things can turn really, really interesting for (Vriska)…

…and I would be really, REALLY PISSED OFF if it happens, because IT’S A STOLEN SYMBOL OF CHARACTER RELEVANCE AND IT’S OBVIOUS FROM THE MOMENT IT APPEARS (but Hussie has a plan as he always had, I’m sure). 

That’s all I have to say about the latest vriskagram(2) for now. Thanks for your attention.

My whole thing with emison and paily is that those are the two most important connections Emily has had. They’ve been built up and fleshed out and a part of the show since the beginning. Why draw them out like that if neither of them is endgame? The other liars got to make connections and hang onto them, so why does Emily get temporary fixes and half assed shoe ins instead of one of the two people she actually had deep feelings for? It doesn’t make sense. Anyone besides Paige or Alison being endgame for Emily would feel like a rip off, tbh.