why can't i be the person i picture in my head

anonymous asked:

So apparently, baby ducks can imprint. How what would happen is that one day Derek just walks into Deaton's clinic with about ten baby ducks in his arms, which had been following him around all day since they decided for some reason that he is their mom and refused to let him out of their sight .

Derek totally didn’t name them, but, “I think Patrice has abandonment issues.” 

“Abandonment issues?” Deaton asked, blinking, and then “Patrice?” 

Derek just glared, averting his gaze. Alright, so he had named him. But only because it made them easier to tell apart. “Yes,” he gritted through his teeth, holding out the baby ducks for Deaton to take. “I can’t look after them. So here, you have to take them.” 

Deaton shook his head. “I think you’re doing just fine, Derek,” he said in a way that could either mean ‘fuck off’ or ‘these ducklings are part of some bigger plan that I’m not going to tell you about’ and then walked away. Just like that. 

The bastard.

~

Later that evening, Stiles came home to find Derek….and several ducklings on his bed. 

“Please tell me that’s not the pack,” was the first thing he said, panicked that he wasn’t feeling just as panicked about that scenario as he should be. He wasn’t going to lie and say the thought of Jackson being turned into a baby duck didn’t amuse him. 

Greatly.

“No, it’s not the pack,” Derek answered, rolling his eyes, letting one crawl into his hands. “I think….” he frowned. “I don’t think they have…parents.”

“Oh?” Stiles asked, carefully watching Derek’s face. 

“Yeah, “ Derek nodded, all serious and utterly adorable. “And….I don’t know what to do.”  It was hard to read Derek most of the time, but Stiles thought he was getting better at it and this was definitely Derek speak for: ‘I found these baby animals and now I am scared I’m going to hurt them because I don’t have the best track record. SOS, send help, I am a tragic, brooding, beautiful mess’.

Okay, so maybe not the last part. But Stiles was definitely on to Derek.

Derek looked up at Stiles then, as if reading his thoughts, like Stiles had all the answers to the universe. Usually, Stiles was flattered when Derek came to him for help. Well, not flattered, per se. Smug. Smug was the word he’d use. He liked being smug around Derek, his own personal fucked up foreplay. But right now, something different was tingling in the pit of his stomach. He felt warm, and maybe just a little bit helpless. He wasn’t sure if it was a feeling he necessarily liked. 

“Well, how about we start with a pond?” he suggested, leaning back against his bedroom door, resisting the urge to grab his phone and snap a picture.

“A pond?” Derek’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean, like, build a pond?” He started shaking his head, like the thought terrified him. 

Silly, beautiful wolf.

Stiles shrugged. “Why not? You have the money, don’t you? Plus, I think they like you.” He winked and Derek flushed, right to the tips of his ears. Stiles laughed.

“Come on, sourwolf,” he grinned, shaking his head, picking up his backpack from where he had dumped it on the floor. “Let’s go make us a home.” 

~

“It’s your turn to feed them,” Stiles groaned, turning in Derek’s arms. He swore he could hear the ducks already quacking impatiently. “Please, babe, I’ll do anything if I don’t have to get up right now. I’ll even blow you. Twice. It’s so waaaaaarm.” He stretched, like the lazy cat he was, and smiled all the way down to his toes. 

“Don’t call me ‘babe’,” was the only reply he received.

Stiles groaned again. “Sweetheart?” he tried, instead. “Honey? Chicken pot pie of my life?” 

For that, his Derek Hale shaped cover was snatched away from him. 

“What’s wrong with chicken pot pie???” he yelled, heart broken. Utterly, utterly heart broken. No, betrayed. Derek was mean. 

“Nothing, if you want to stay married to me, noodle.

Stiles grimaced. Okay, they’d work on their pet names for each other outside of sex later. They couldn’t just stick with ‘asshole’ - it was starting to lose its meaning when they fought. 

Shoving a pillow in Derek’s face, because when was that ever not satisfying, Stiles crawled to the side of the bed - and because he had no dignity - rolled out of it. “See if you get any sex when I get back,” he called over his shoulder, grabbing Derek’s boxers on the way out of the door.  

Derek only grinned when Stiles looked back, already falling back to sleep. 

Stiles refused to find it adorable. 

Imagine... Dean finding a Victoria’s Secret Bag

Originally posted by twoidjitsinthesalvageyard

Warnings: language, implied smut

A/N: quick little Dean drabble for you guys! For those of you who have seen NCIS, this was sort of inspired by the way Tony DiNozzo sneaks around when he’s prying into Tim and Ziva’s stuff. Hope you like it!

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starter sentences for enemies
  • "I want to be there when you get what's coming to you."
  • "One day karma is going to bite you in the ass."
  • "How could you do this?"
  • "What do you want now?"
  • "If you are going to be two-faced, at least make one of them attractive."
  • "Fuck you!"
  • "Oh, what? Sorry. I was trying to imagine you with a personality."
  • "That was a low blow."
  • "You're truly a disgusting person."
  • "Don't bring my [relative] into this!"
  • "I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."
  • "What do you think you're doing?"
  • "Have you lost your mind?"
  • "Do you have anything to say that won't result in me punching you in the face?"
  • "Tread carefully."
  • "Two wrongs don't make a right; take your parents as an example."
  • "Get off my property."
  • "Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go."
  • "Leave me alone."
  • "So what?"
  • "You look like a before picture."
  • "Don't be a coward. Say it to my face."
  • "You're so fake."
  • "Apologize before I deck you."
  • "This means war."
  • "I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass."
  • "Can't we compromise?"
  • "Go to hell."
  • "Hating me won't make you pretty."
  • "Can you try not annoying me every 30 seconds?"
  • "I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you."
  • "Fuck off!"
  • "I thought we settled this."
  • "I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance."
  • "Stay classy."
  • "You are not as bad as people say. You are much, much worse."
  • "Your sarcasm detector needs tweaking."
  • "Get off me!"
  • "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
  • "Name one reason why I shouldn't walk away right now."
  • "Is this making you angry?"
  • "Karma takes too long. I'd rather beat the shit out of you just now."
  • "Shock me and say something intelligent."
  • "Ouch. That one stung."
  • "That's cruel."
  • "I didn't think I was capable of murder until this conversation."
  • "Truce?"

anonymous asked:

so when I'm reading fanfiction I always picture remus and sirius as YOUR remus and sirius (I can't help it, it's just automatic at this point) and my question is, do you picture yourself playing remus and sirius when you're reading about remus and sirius in fanfiction?

(( OOC: No, I have a set idea of how I picture the characters that usually doesn’t relate to anything I’ve done or anyone else has done… which is why I often have a hard time fan casting characters, because their design in my head isn’t based on anyone I know or have seen in person. *weeps* )) 

Loosely based on a true story of my friend and his girlfriend during her college graduation and the rest of us just couldn’t stop awwing because GAH

Ao3


Castiel is graduating and Dean isn’t here.

It’s a horrible feeling, knowing his boyfriend isn’t with his family as he walks across the stage, but Castiel understands why, to a degree. Dean works the graduation ceremonies. He kinda needs to do that if Castiel wants  to graduate at all, but still…

Which leads to now, Castiel waiting with his fellow Arts and Humanities college graduates as the timer counts down to zero, at which point they will all walk out into the arena and sit down for about two and a half hours of speakers until they walk across the stage, have their name called, hear applause as they walk across, take the stage helper’s hand on the stairs to avoid falling, and walk back down to their seats as college graduates. It was routine at this point to Cas, he himself having been to enough of the rehearsals whenever Dean was working them to know what comes after what. He had thought he’d feel a little different when the graduation would be his own, maybe with his best friend cheering him on and congratulating him with a kiss at the end, but instead Dean will be somewhere else making sure the entire graduation runs smoothly as a Marshall or helping the vice presidents run errands or something else that he’s done before.

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Matthew Daddario Quotes
  • "We call our shoes ‘sneakers,’ right? But they're not really sneaking."
  • "Can't wait till they invent phones with keyboards."
  • "I don't know this guy. He came to hang out so I complimented his hair."
  • "How many artichokes can you eat in one sitting?"
  • "No, go back to my idea!"
  • "Maybe, they'll throw the books out. Just not follow the books anymore."
  • "Hey guys did everyone floss today? You gotta floss every day. Otherwise, your dentist makes you feel bad."
  • "I play piano but I won't call it a talent."
  • "I'm the funniest person in the cast and that's simply because everybody else is so painfully unfunny."
  • "There is literally no memory left in my phone. I took fourteen thousand blue sky photos and I need all of them."
  • "Send him photos of fried chicken and crab cakes."
  • "I have a dentist appt tomorrow. I'm not gonna brush my teeth tonight. Also not going to shower. This is going to be painful for everyone."
  • "You are not trash, you are lovely!"
  • "Don't sign contracts in your blood. It's usually not required by any reputable party."
  • "He's slippin' out his little tongue eating snail treats off the ground."
  • "I will eat anywhere in the house. I'll eat cheese crackers in bed!"
  • "He looks down and sees this wonderful man. He hops down there and smooches that man right on the face. Right in front of everyone."
  • "...it's not fair that he is more handsome than me!!!"
  • "Don't do the hokey pokey around witches."
  • "They're never gonna release the deleted scenes to you guys because they're racy and inappropriate."
  • "This video is going on social media!"
  • "I'm ashamed to admit I lied about the selfies. The phone is 98% cow pictures and I can't delete them. I need a new phone. Forgive me."
  • "Thank god I started sandpapering my feet when I was four."
  • "Is Alec appreciating at an increased rate because of an increase in demand? Or is it the same rate as before."
  • "Note, some alpaca do not appreciate head pats."
  • "If humans lived in barns, we'd be smelly, too."
  • "Had to delete all my cow photos to make room for selfies, so I will say 'I appreciate you, cows.'"
  • "Wow. It's spelled Gollum. Wow. So disappointed. Hiding my own cell phone for the next two weeks."
  • "You're a little kitty cat. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy kitty cat, kitty cat."
  • "Sometimes when I travel between dimensions, I think, man, I should really buy a sailboat."
  • "If I was running for President, my VP would be a well trained golden retriever."
  • "Who's not going to watch Hamlet in space? I mean, Space Hamlet!"
  • "I just think we should all acknowledge what is awesome about Harry!"
  • "I like eating food after dark."
  • "Generally, people avoid kissing their sister in a healthy life."
  • "If you don't like my zebra leggings, it's because you just don't understand zebra leggings."
  • "I think we should provide more showers for cows."
  • "If I'm having a bad day, I eat pizza."
  • "I hope Google uses the same algorithm to encrypt my email as my pocket does to tie knots with my headphones."
  • "I would own a farm. Not like growing crops but maybe have a few animals like cows, and maybe an alpaca or a llama. I would chop wood all day."
  • "Dog. #dog. Dog. Dog."
  • "Had fun tweeting with/at you guys. Phone is about to die. Gonna go get more double-A batteries."
  • "The jackhammer has been joined by his friend, the concrete saw. Rare that you get two music legends right outside your window like this."
  • "Interdimensional cat smuggling is severely punished. But you can make a killing on the black cat market."
  • "You should just give up on me like I did. So done with me right now I can't even."
  • "What am I fan of? No one's ever asked me this before! Oh man."
  • "I don't know why they say that. I think they're poking fun at me."
  • "Congrats. You deserve that sailboat."
  • "I don't know. I don't have any pet peeve. Yapping little dogs, I guess. Buttons that don't go up right."
  • "Donkeys look like rabbit horses."
  • "Everyone is all, 'follow your heart.' If that worked I'd be watching Shadowhunters in my spaceship."
  • "Am I making this up?"
  • "I don't condone it, but I understand it, and therefore, I will not pass judgment on it."
  • "I can eat a pound of pork rinds."
  • "I am your bird king!"
  • "Baby pigs or baby cows? They're both good options."
  • "I have deleted a single photo from my phone. I have room for one selfie. Living on the edge. If it happens, no second chances."
  • "She gets it at a Shadowhunter tailor where we get all our stuff. Are you serious?"
  • "My cell phone is not the most important thing in my life. It just feels that way."
  • "Kill her immediately. Problem solved."
  • "You're not me? Most people aren't, in my experience."
  • "Man I've spent a whole year talking about sailboats and I could have just jumped on this SHIP."
  • "Reminder not to cite 'game of thrones' as my motivation for getting into politics."
  • "To all the people who threaten to punch me in the face... Do I have to be concerned or is that a love thing?"
  • "Put this on?! Fit it on my body?!"
  • "I’m going to shave today. Nobody will recognize me and I’ll have to reintroduce myself to all my friends."
  • "Don't get me started on this question."
  • "Okay, quick question. What does it mean when someone says they are your 'trash?' Asking for a friend..."
  • "Wait, 'SexyBack' is by Justin Timberlake?"
  • "Everyone's smooching everyone and Alec just wants to do his job. That's why he's the best and deserves a big smooch."
Sharing A Tent With Murphy

Pairing: John Murphy X Reader
Requested: no
Warnings: some mild cursing, and sexual references
A/N: I’ve had the idea for this bouncing around my head for awhile, and finally decided to put it down on paper. This is my first time writing about anything other than 5sos, so feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading, and I hope you like it!
Word count: 1479

————————————————

“What do you mean I don’t have a tent anymore?” Murphy exclaims angrily at Bellamy.

You were helping Clarke and Octavia tend to the sick after Murphy had brought an infection back to camp. Your father had been a doctor on the ark, and you were following in his footsteps until you had been arrested. You were caught stealing medicine for a little girl, but you don’t regret it since she got to live because of your actions.

“We needed the extra supplies and since you were banished, we weren’t going to let them go to waste,” Bellamy explains to him using his ‘I’m the boss’ tone. Sighing, Murphy looks down at the ground and runs a hand through his dirty hair.

“Fine, but where am I going to sleep now?”

“You’ll have to share with someone.”

Murphy laughs grimly, “And who would that be?” He sneers. He knew no one would want to share with him, everyone despises him. Bellamy looks around the drop ship until his gaze lands on you; your eyes lock together. You know what is about to happen; you were credited with being the nicest delinquent around.

“Y/N,” Bellamy yells over to you, “come over here, I need to ask you something.”

You place the medical supplies you had been sorting down. Rising from your kneeling position you walk towards the pair. You look at Murphy, and take in his appearance: his clothes are torn, stained with dried blood, and dirt is caked onto his pale skin, a sharp contrast. Murphy’s wounds still haven’t been cleaned, you realize.

“What’s up?” You question Bellamy, raising one eyebrow.

“Murphy is going to be sleeping in your tent, with you, until further notice.”

“What? My tent barely has enough room for me, let alone both of us,” you protest crossing your arms over your chest and jutting your hip out.

“I guess you’ll have to make it work.” Bellamy walks off, leaving no room for discussion. Sighing, you turn towards Murphy, who had been watching the ordeal with a bored expression.

“Well, come on then.” You motion for him to follow you as you lead the way to your tent. As the two of you make your way towards your tent you can hear people whispering, all of which concern the boy that is trailing after you. Murphy is playing strong though, keeping his head up high and facial expression locked into a firm glare straight ahead. One of the comments catches your attention, it’s louder than the others, the person obviously didn’t care if anyone heard them.

The boy had said, “She better be careful, or next thing you know she’ll be murdered by that psychopath.” You whip your head around without even thinking.

“Who the hell do you think you are? Last I checked, Murphy was the one helping the sick, sure he got them infected, but they’re the ones who hanged and banished him. Where were you? Out hiding away and doing nothing to help the camp? Yeah, that’s what I thought. So shut your damn mouth and do something useful with your pathetic life.”

With that, you grab Murphy’s hand and hurriedly drag him away. Unzipping the flap, you go inside and quickly tidy up the few things you have. Turning, you see Murphy shifting on his feet, unsure of what to do. You nod your head towards the bed, silently telling him to sit down. He follows your noiseless command, sitting on the edge of your makeshift bed of old blankets and animal pelts. Finally, you take in his appearance again, his face is dirty, clothes torn. Decidedly, you stand up and make your way to the exit of the small enclosure. Murphy’s head shoots up, you hold out your hand in a stop motion, telling him to stay put.

You walk towards the small tent next to the drop ship that houses whatever medical supplies people had been able to scrounge up. Entering, you head straight for the table that holds bowls of moonshine, then bandages, and finally a bucket that had been collecting water outside of the door. Once you situate the items in your arms you make your way back to the place you’ve started calling your home. All eyes were on you. No one had ever seen you snap like that, you were generally a nice level headed person.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” you told one group that was openly staring at you.

Slipping back into your tent you saw Murphy in the same position you left him in, staring intently at his hands. You place the bucket of water besides you as you kneel in front of him in between his knees. Gently you take his left hand in yours. After dunking a piece of cloth in the water you start to clean off his hand. Looking up at him once you shift to a moonshine soaked rag, you softly speak, “This is going to hurt.”

He met your eyes, only giving you a brief nod to acknowledge your words. As you dab at the wounds on his hand, an audible breath in and wince was the only reaction he let you see. You move from one hand to the other, repeating the process. When both hands were clean you stilled.

“Take off your shirt,” you demand in a firm tone.

“So, this is why you’re letting me stay in your tent, you’re trying to get into my pants. Y'know all you had to do was ask, right?” A smirk spread across his face.

“Trust me Murphy, if I wanted to, you’d be naked and begging by now.”

“Is that so?”

“You know it.”

“Then prove it.”

“No. You’re injured and I’m not really into the dirt and blood covered look. Now, take off your shirt.”

Giving you a, dare you say, playful glare he pulls his shirt over his head. You can’t contain the gasp that slips past your lips. His chest is covered in long, angry gashes. You put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him down so he’s on his back looking up at you. Shifting your position, you now sit near his waist, you’ll have to lean over him to reach the top of his chest. You start cleaning him from his collar bones down to his hips, trying to ignore his tensing abs. Blushing you reach the top of his pants and glance up at him. You know the next thing out of your mouth is going to be incredibly embarrassing to ask.

“I-is there, uh, anything else, I, um, need to clean?” You awkwardly ask, looking anywhere but his eyes.

“No, but there is something you can suck,” he says, his signature smirk placing itself back onto his lips.

“Only in your dreams,” you retort after quickly composing yourself, and rolling your eyes. You grab his shirt from where it had been carelessly dumped on the ground. He takes it from your outstretched hand, then lets it fall back to the ground next to the bed. All you can do is give him an exasperated look.

“Sorry doll, I sleep shirtless and it’s time for some shut-eye,” he places his arms under his head, muscles flexing as he does so. You hadn’t even realized the sun had set while you had been intently cleaning Murphy up. You also hadn’t realized how tired you were, once your muscles had stopped their task they felt heavy and sore. It had become a familiar feeling at the end of the day after working long hours healing the impulsive delinquents.

“And what makes you think you’re getting the bed?” You place a hand on your hip, head tilting to the side.

“C'mon, I’m injured.” His lips form a mock pout, matching the sarcastic glint in his eyes.

Sighing you tell him, “Fine scoot over,” while climbing up from where you were leaning back on your legs by his legs. You situate yourself under the covers Murphy had been pulling out from underneath him.

“Just a warning, I’m a sleep cuddler.” You turn your body, facing away from the boy, onto your side.

“Trust me, I don’t have a problem having you closer,” you hear him whisper right before you drift off to sleep. Making you question if he had really said that.

You woke up the next morning with a warm body pressed against your back, and a hand resting on your boob. For a second you relish in the warmth the body provides, before realizing who it was holding you. Struggling to move away from the embrace, the hands around you tighten. Wiggling for awhile longer with no use, you slump against him, giving up on getting away. Lightly you feel the all-too-familiar smirk of John Murphy press against the back of your neck. That asshole was awake.

“Murphy, if you don’t get your hand off my boob, I’m going to castrate you,” the threat came out of your mouth in a low growl.

Encounter (m)

Word count: 3,242

Content: Jimin smut - thigh grinding, blowjob, sub!Jimin

A/N: To celebrate 3,000 followers (and the release of the new album), I wanted to write something special dedicated to my bias wrecker… Enjoy ._. (Sometimes, Park Jimin gets to me)


It was a Saturday evening: nothing more, nothing less. The same girls in stiletto heels that wore drunk smiles, surrounded by the same boys in suits wearing too much cologne, and the same loud music that drowned out all their conversations that meant nothing at all - like every other time. It was almost like deja vu, with those familiar faces, those scenarios that played out the same way every time. The people would one day change, just like the music would, yet somehow everything would be the exact same way it was that very night. It was a world in a bubble that would forever exist, staying the way it had always been.

How could a night like that become so strange?

You were staring at your bare knees, the fabric of your dress creeping up every time you even so much as breathed. It felt too tight, squeezed the air out of you so that you went light-headed. This wasn’t your crowd, this wasn’t your music, this wasn’t your night - but that wasn’t a surprise. You forced yourself to the same club time after time, never entirely sure why you’d come. Maybe you were looking for something more than everyday life, or something more specific - you’d forgotten a long time ago. Now it was a habit you couldn’t drop, repeating the same old thing over and over. Sometimes you wondered if you’d even be able to stop going here - it would probably be harder than pushing yourself into the crowds for the millionth time.

He was standing in front of you all of a sudden. You didn’t even realise he was there at first. He wasn’t really a person, more of a shadow on your feet that moved in the flickering light. You tried to ignore it, hoping it would go away, because you know how it worked. Shadows towering over girls, swallowing them whole before a single word had been spoken. Shadows wrapping themselves around them and dragging them away into the darkness. He was there just to do that, you knew that. Yet his shadow stayed right where it was, right where it had been when you first noticed it. It didn’t want to hurt you. It was almost a friend, comforting your anxious mind as your heart beat faster than it ever had. The only thing you knew was that it was so familiar.

“Found you.”

You looked up, hearing a voice that was lower than you remembered it being, but you already knew it was his. Of course you couldn’t forget the way he sounded. Those same eyes, that same soft smile that made you nauseous, the same pastel shirt he wore in every picture you’d ever taken with him. He was staring at you sweetly, like he’d done for the last time two years ago.

“Jimin?”

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lostfanboy  asked:

"Hey, hey, calm down, they can't hurt you anymore." With treebros and/or kliensen because I'm in an angsty dear Evan Hansen mood

As much as I love setting things in the AWE universe, I decided to go for a slightly happier Connor Lives au for a change (with an extra side of “they all became friends”). Slight Sincerely three. (TW for homophobic slurs)

Send me characters or ships from musicals with a prompt from here.


Jared stared at his locker, a stony expression on his face. The thick, black strokes stood out against the dull blue he was so familiar with that seeing that precise shade anywhere else made him sick. Three characters. Three simple characters had ruined his whole day. Two of the characters were created with three sharp strokes, while the last was created as a continuous curve. 

   F  A G

There was a small, phallic doodle underneath the word. It wasn’t clever. It wasn’t good. Hell, even the spacing was off. But it made his blood boil all the same.

He wished he could laugh it off. Find some cleaner that could get rid of sharpie, wipe it off, pretend it never happened. That’s what he should do. But something in his brain wouldn’t let it go. It took every ounce of control he had to not break down right there, in the middle of the hallway like a freak. He clenched his fists so hard he could almost feel his fingernails break his skin.

“So Evan asked for my help with his math homework,” Jared had noted long ago that Connor was never one for proper greetings, often startling others by initiating conversations when he hadn’t even announced his presence, just like now, “except I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing in that class so I figured the three of us could– Hey, are you ok dude?”

Jared didn’t turn to look at him. “Peachy.”

“What’s the–” Connor followed Jared’s gaze, eyes landing on the crude graffiti. “Oh no.”

“Fuckin’ stupid. It’s just some idiot with a sharpie who has nothing better to do with his life than harass some kid no one even talks to.”

“That doesn’t make it better. That doesn’t make it ok. That doesn’t make it right.” Connor sighed. “It still fills you with rage. And you still have every right to feel that way. I’ve been dealing with this bullshit since seventh grade.”

“Is that so?” Connor nodded in his periphery. “So how exactly do you ‘deal’ with it?”

“Punch the kid that did it in the face. They usually think twice before doing it again.”

“Sounds great. Recognize the writing? I would love to punch something right now.”

Connor examined the thick strokes. “Can’t say that I do.” He pulled out his phone and began taking pictures.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Gathering evidence. Knowing our school system, they’ll have the janitors clean it up this evening and pretend it never happened. We can show it to the administrators and get the vandal’s ass expelled.”

“But we don’t know who it is. And the administrators aren’t going to take it seriously unless we have concrete proof.”

“Yeah, but we got a killswitch named Alana Beck who probably knows everyone’s handwriting and won’t stop badgering them until they find and punish the one’s responsible.”

“For the love of god do not send that to Alana.”

“I won’t. So long as the administrators take this matter seriously.”

“I’m not going to take it to them.”

“I know. That’s why I’m going to.” Jared tried to protest, but at that moment the bell rang. “I should get to class. See you at Evan’s.” And with that Connor walked off. Jared took one last glare at the locker before dragging himself to his next class.


Jared rang the doorbell until Evan answered. Evan seemed surprised to see him.

“Where’s Connor?”

Jared shrugged. “He just said we should meet here after school. So here I am.” He looked at Evan. “Wait, Connor really isn’t here yet?” Evan shook his head. He moved aside and invited Jared in. Jared followed Evan to the living room and sat down on the couch.

“So, um, how was your day?”

Jared shrugged. “Uneventful.” He discreetly clenched a fist.

“Oh.” The two sat in silence for a few moments before Evan spoke up again. “So, um, like, don’t get mad but um, Connor– Connor told me about the locker.”

Jared shook his head. “Of fucking course he did.”

Evan frowned. “He just, um, he said he thought he knew who did it but he wanted me to confirm before saying anything, and, um, he was right.”

Jared suddenly felt the bottled up rage become active once more. “That fucking liar, he said he didn’t know–”

“Well, that’s why he talked with me. Because, um, he thought I could recognize the writing. And I did.”

Jared stood up. “Who the fuck did this? I need to teach them a lesson.” Moving as fast as he could, Evan jumped out of his seat and blocked Jared’s path.

“We-we-we already told– We already told the administrators and, um, they’ve talked with the person, and they’re considering the appropriate punishment.”

“I think I’ve got an idea for an appropriate punishment.” He tried to get past Evan, but the boy blocked his path again.

“Jared, it’s-it’s fine, it’s being taken care of, and you don’t even know–”

“Get out of my way Evan!”

“Hey, hey, calm down, they can’t hurt you anymore." Blinded by anger, Jared pushed Evan aside. And suddenly all the anger he felt was replaced by regret, and sadness. Evan stared at him, concerned and almost fearful. Jared stepped back as his eyes filled with tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m fucking– I didn’t mean– I’m an asshole– I–” Jared sank to his knees as the tears fell. He was so angry he had shoved Evan Hansen, the boy he’d cared about so much that Jared had literally worried himself sick over his wellbeing.

“I know, you were– you were just angry…” Evan rushed to Jared’s side, kneeling right next to him and putting his arm around Jared. “Look, I’m ok. I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.”

Jared gasped for air between sobs. “I don’t… I shouldn’t care this much… I don’t… I don’t know why I’m so angry…”

“Jared, you should feel angry. What they did was– what they did was fucked up, it probably messed with your sense of security, and you shouldn’t have to make excuses for how you feel.” Evan moved so he was kneeling directly in front of Jared. “But you’re safe here. You have me. And we will make sure the bastard that did this gets what they deserved. Nobody should make you ashamed of who you are.” Jared looked into Evan’s kind eyes, so full of love and understanding, and began bawling again. Evan wrapped his arms around Jared in a hug, and Jared just held on as if for dear life. The vandal had made him feel ashamed of who he was, but somehow Evan made him feel proud of it, like he was special because of who he was. 

It took a few minutes for things to calm down, but Jared stayed clinging to Evan for as long as he could justify. They finally broke away, Jared wiping away tears and chuckling a bit. “So, when does Murphy get here? He said you had some math homework you both needed help with?”

Evan’s phone went off. He pulled it out. “Speak of the devil,” he muttered. He saw Evan’s face contort into a horrified, then frustrated expression as he read the text. Evan rolled his eyes, shook his head and turned back to Jared. “We have to go help Connor.”

“What? Why? What happened?”

“He injured his hand, it’s all bloody.”

“What did he do?”

“Punched some kid’s teeth in.” Every bit of self control Jared had was focused on keeping his facial muscles in check, but he still couldn’t help the small smirk that slid across his face.

Late Night Shopping

Because I’m amused by Cat doing things normal people do and being highly scandalized by it (Supercat)

Kara stumbled into the living room, nearly taking a chunk out of the doorframe when she tripped into it.

“What are the symptoms of a concussion?” Kara asked, leaning up against the doorframe and hiding the slight paint damage with her arm. Cat looked up from her tablet, sliding her glasses up onto her head as she did so.

“You don’t have a concussion.” Even through the exasperation with Kara’s nearly breaking everything in her home, Cat’s worry was clear in her eyes as she looked Kara up and down. “Your sister wouldn’t have let you leave the DEO if you did.”

“I feel wobbly.”

“She did mention that might be a symptom of getting your head repeatedly smashed against the pavement,” Cat said, standing up and abandoning all hope of getting anymore work done now that Kara was bored enough to wander into her office. “Is there something in particular you wanted?”

Keep reading

Hereafter - Part 7

Summery: You lost someone who meant the world to you. But no matter what happens, Bucky Barnes will never leave you.

Triggers: angst, mention of pervious abuse

Word Count: 1200+

A/N: Sorry, this took me so long. Uni is hard to get into

*send in an ask to be added to the “Hereafter” masterlist*

Masterlist | “Hereafter” Masterlist

Originally posted by luvinchris

You tried to speak but your lips wouldn’t move, your whole body was frozen. You were scared. You didn’t even know what you were scared of.

What Steve would do? If he would tell Bucky? What Bucky would do if he found out? Or some sick combination of them all?

But he didn’t do any of that. He just stood there, staring at you.

‘Do you guys know each other?’ Bucky asked, finally breaking the silence. Neither of you replied. Neither of you had the change because Steve put some money on the table to pay for the drinks and walked out.

Sharon and Bucky looked at each other surprised with what had just happened. You stayed there for a second before running out of the restaurant, the sound of your heels softened by the carpeted floor.

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Hold On I

Title: Hold On Part 1 

Author: Juju

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader 

Warnings: Mentions of a car accident, super sad and stressed Shawn and Aaliyah (yes that’s a warning), my horrible attempt at angst (but to be fair I kinda teared up when writing this but I would have full on cried if I was alone), tooth rotting fluff (i.e. my forte). I know a lot of Shawn stans don’t like Camila Cabello, so I’m considering it a warning cause she’s nice in the fic.

Summary: When Shawn finds out that you got into a car accident, he’s too stressed to do anything but write a song. The only thing that calms his nerves, other than you.

Word Count: 1.4 k 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Masterlist

A/N: So Shawn and Y/N aren’t a couple in the beginning, but they both want to be. And I bet you would never be able to guess what song gave me this idea (sarcasm). This is also kinda very teensy weensy bit based on the James Corden interview

I apologize in advance for the usage of google translate. 

Juro por Dios que te estrangularé = I swear to God I will strangle you


“There’s no way you haven’t made out, you totally have! I don’t believe you!” James said, his face turning red with the anticipation of a new story.

“Well, I don’t care.” Shawn replied, pissed off at the rumors that never left him be. The entire audience went crazy at his sass, and for good reason. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I saw one of your tags say that you're not sure Sam would be ok with Destiel and I'm curious why. Do you think it'd be like the Benny situation again or something else? I didn't ship Denny but I don't think Sam likes when someone else comes before him in Dean's eyes. (I can't see Sam not liking Desitle as a homophobic thing, but ya never know.) Anyway I'm genuinely curious because I could see Sam not exactly like a shipper but ultimately ok with it.

Hi! I have to say, I’m always torn when I hear about people reading my tags, because on the one hand I’m vain and prideful and they’re written to be read, but on the other, tagging is like talking to yourself, so - *blushes slightly*.

Anyway, first things first - before I discovered what a fandom was, I was a total sucker for shipper!Sam. My doubts didn’t begin until after I’d read a shitload of fanfiction about it, and something really rotten in my brain was like, What if Sam wasn’t okay with it, though? because I always like to be contrary and to turn things on their heads and see how they work and if they still work. So I’ve got no real problems with shipper!Sam. It’s just - I sometimes wonder - generally when I’m writing myself - what would be more interesting from a narrative point of view - if it’d be better to have Sam in the background, hanging up mistletoe and leaving The letter of the day is B leaflets around the Bunker or if it’d be easier for Dean to have something to push against. I think a case could be made either way - but if TPTB would have wanted to go down that first road, they probably wouldn’t have killed off Charlie, since she would have been (and she probably was) an even better shipper and wingman than Sam.

That said, I have two arguments against shipper!Sam.

One: Sam is way more messed up than he lets on, and some part of it is terrified not only that Dean will walk away, but that Dean will fall in love with someone and actually pursue that. I know I’ve seen this discussion go down somewhere, but I honestly don’t remember who first came up with this - apologies, guys - the fact that Sam is an all or nothing kind of guy. Like, when he went to Stanford, that was it - he never contacted John, or even Dean, again. For years. And the same happened when he was with Amelia - he just - I don’t know, cut himself off? I’m not sure if it’s his personality, or a by-product of his less than ideal childhood, but Sam’s got trouble to let people into his life, and once they’re in, it’s like there isn’t room for anyone else? Which is a childish trait, of course, and it signals a lack of emotional maturity on his part (not surprising - poor Sammy). And since Sam tends to relate with other people through his own experiences, part of him surely assumes Dean’s exactly the same; that if Dean found himself a new best friend, or a better hunting partner, or even a spouse of some kind, he’d just walk away and that would be it. So in this sense, Sam would feel threatened by any relationship Dean could potentially develop, not only by Cas.

Two, we used to see Sam as the shades of grey brother, but the amazing thing about this show is that Sam and Dean went through a lot of character development resulting in them almost swapping the roles they had in the first seasons - and yet all this feels natural and completely believable. So these days, Dean’s more likely to be the one who gives monsters a pass (hell, look at his relationship with Crowley), while Sam’s become sort of judgemental and what needs must. I think it was Ruby, most of all, who scarred Sam from the inside out and made him so much more conservative, or pragmatic (like, look at him now - he’s more willing than Dean to work with the BMoL, because he’s Mr Head Choice or something). Sam took a huge risk in liking and trusting Ruby, and it all hinged on a sort of anti-racism argument - an I don’t care if she’s a demon, because even demons can be nice and Our biology doesn’t determine our destiny and whatever else. Dean had shut him down about this, of course, but Sam had persisted - and I know there were other elements at play here, but to me, the central point was exactly this: a pigheaded and generous and noble willingness to trust a creature you don’t understand at all and you’ve got no reason to trust. Now, of course things are different with Cas, because Cas has proven, time and again, that Dean’s safety would be his number one priority and all that, but I’m still not convinced Sam would actively want that for Dean. After all, Sam’s seen this other, softer side of Dean’s - he’s seen him around kids (he remembers him from their shared childhood) and he’s heard (a bit) about how happy he was with Robin and whatever, so I sometimes feel Sam still wants the Sookie ending for Dean: a chance to have a true family of his own, and a life Dean could finally lead in full view of everybody, without shame or weirdness or sigils carved on the walls. And I’m not sure this is something Cas would be able to give Dean.

Finally, there’s the whole bisexuality deal. Here, I have to say - I don’t know what to think. I’m sure Sam’s got no problem with queer people, but it’s always slightly different when it’s your family, right? And there are days I think Sam must know - Jesus, they’ve been sharing a room for thirty years - and days when I think that no, that parent/child thing they’ve got going is way too strong for Sam to see the whole picture (to even think about it). 

(Like, I know it was supposed to be funny and that I’m reading too much into it, but Sam recoiling when Rowena suggested he undress Dean and check his chest hair or something - to me, that was emblematic of how their relationship works. Dean’s changed Sam’s diapers, has helped him to get dressed for years, surely bathed him and watched him play with that one plastic submarine they’d scavenged somewhere and, years later, he stitched him up and massaged weird herbal salves over his bruises and whatever - but to Sam, of course, it’s weird to think about his brother’s body at all, because that’s the relationship we have with our parents: when you actually have to take care of them that way, it means things have got very bad and very scary.)

In any case, at the very least Sam would be worried about Dean’s safety (and there’s always that heartbreaking thing, right, that if you’re bi and you can be happy with a woman - man, it’d be so much easier) - but one big reason to be optimistic in this sense was this new development we’ve seeing - that openly gay hunters can actually exist in the community without being bothered. 

(Then again, judging from the news coming about the US, I sometimes feel Dean and Cas could have their college AU life only in a big city, and not in one of those wild, road off to the horizon states where Dean feels most at home. So, well - I really don’t know.)

Anyway - we know so little about Sam, it’s likely that anything could work concerning his approach to the Destiel situation. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

I can’t believe I actually wrote this. WC: 1414


They said he was crazy. They said he’d never find him, that he was just some myth. That his sightings were just the result of some people taking one too many drugs.

But he knows he’s real, and he is going to be the one to find him.

He’s never gonna give up, not until he finds him.

Not until he finds Mothman.

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omgliterallysokawaii  asked:

flood of MC headcanons where she's poor and can't afford a lot and the guys help her out but she's too stubborn to accept.

( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ) ;;; Phew I really punched out on this one given I’m running on very little sleep and I’m a sore bean. I really enjoyed this headcanon so thank you @omgliterallysokawaii for suggesting it ^^


Yoosung

  • he has set foot in your apartment before
  • how can you live like this???
    • there’s a major rodent problem and you NAMED each of them
    • YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A KITCHEN!!!
  • whenever you two go out he tries to pay for your meal too
    • but you two end up fighting over the check
    • at first submits because you just had that look in your eyes that said you would chop his fingers off if he even reached for his wallet
  • avoids places where you would have to spend money
  • makes you dinner and meals throughout the week
    • Zen makes jokes on the messenger how good of a husband he is
    • (ノ*゚▽゚*)
  • honestly, you can’t deny good food so you accept it
    • plus your precious bf puts a lot of effort in it and you would be the worst person known to man if you refuse it
  • offers you his old backpacks if yours is falling apart
  • when you keep denying his generosity, he gets creative
  • one time he bought extra school supplies and lied to you that they were for him
  • but the day before the semester began, he would say, “Oh it turns out I don’t think I need this folder…or these pens…or this binder…”
  • AND YOU FALL FOR IT
  • he bamboozles you so hard
  • you don’t even catch onto his little tricks until you two went out for dinner
  • then when the check came around, you two followed through your ritual of fighting over who paid 
  • but this nugget compromises that he would pay for the check and you would pay for the tip
  • once the check is paid, you put down the tip, and you two leave the restaurant
  • then it just suddenly clicks in your head
    • (」゜ロ゜)」 “J'accuse Yoosung!”

Jaehee

  • Jaehee completely understands
  • when she was in college she was thrown into the deep end
  • now that she has more money, she wants to help you with everything
  • but you’re so stubborn
  • it is it for her when you say, “I’m going to live off of ramen and rice the rest of my life”
    • bUT YOU’LL DIE FROM MALNUTRITION
  • SHE only eats garbage because she doesn’t have the time versus you eat garbage because you can’t afford it
  • and your apartment???
  • it’s practically a prison cell
  • she seriously cannot stand to see you in this state when she cAN DO SOMETHING
  • you don’t want her money???? OKAY THEN
  • she creates an efficient financial plan for you
    • manages to properly allocate money into food and necessities
    • woah who knew you can make a nutritious meal for $4!
  • you follow that plan to a T
    • you were really looking forward to that instant ramen but she threw it out ;-;
    • come on that’s a waste
  • the moment you get some cushion money, you spend it on your amazing girlfriend
  • “NO MC THAT MONEY WAS MEANT TO BE SPENT ON YOU NOT ME!!!”
  • “But you deserve it!”

Zen

  • you two play the stubborn game so hard
    • it would start to form into arguments
    • becomes a toasted marshmallow sometimes 
  • he knows how it feels to be poor af and not accept any handouts
  • he completely gets it
  • 100%
  • but not with you
  • finds out when you two are hanging out and you forget something at your apartment
  • his warning sirens are already going off when you’re in a bad neighborhood
    • WAS THAT A PROSTITUTE ON THE CORNER???
    • I-IS THAT GUY ALIVE???
  • in your apartment, it’s a thousand times worse
    • it’s only one room with a futon, a toilet, and sink
    • wtf
    • it looks like the only thing you bought was the futon
    • THIS MAN IS S H O O K WHEN HE SEES A FEW PEEPHOLES IN YOUR WALL
    • “He made new ones??? Damn, I’m going to need more posters.”
    • (ノ°益°)ノ 
  • that was the last time you ever set foot in your apartment
  • he was not playing any games when he told you to move in with him
    • his apartment sure isn’t a palace but it was better than that shit hole
    • honestly, in a relationship or not, he still wants you to move in
    • because big brother Zen isn’t going to let your innocence wither away
  • you want to help pay rent but he’s just like,”I got this boo”  ( ̄З ̄)
  • but you want to earn your keep so you end up being the maid and cook
    • he’s not complaining
    • you make some pretty decent meals when you have the right materials ^^

Jumin

  • if Zen throws a fuss when you don’t want his help
  • Jumin gets 9000 times worse
    • because he.will.not.stop.until.you.accept.
    • THERE’S A REASON WHY HE’S BEEN ABLE TO CLOSE SO MANY DEALS
    • HE CAN BE CONVINCING AF
  • he doesn’t understand how you can just skip meals
    • he doesn’t really skip meals but he always eats light at least
  • you once sent him a picture of you in your apartment eating a bowl of rice as proof you were eating
    • did not satisfy him
    • in fact after seeing your one room apartment, he was appalled
  • when he first met you he noticed your clothes were worn out
    • your sweater was faded, jeans had tears in them (especially around the inner thighs because those holes are bitches), your shoes had holes in them
    • you were a fucking mess but honestly, those were your favorite clothes to wear
  • asks Seven for your financial report and is shocked how fucking poor you are
    • super peasant
  • yet he could not fathom how you were so resourceful and HAPPY with your life
    • you—so poor but happy
    • and him ballin’ but in a constant state of self-loathing
  • the moment you set foot in his world, all he wants to do is TREAT YOU
  • THIS SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF YOU BECAUSE HE’S GOING OVERBOARD WITH IT AND YOU FEEL LIKE IF HE BUYS YOU STUFF YOU’RE IN DEBT TO HIM OR YOU FEEL OBLIGATED TO GET HIM SOMETHING BUT HOW CAN YOU GET THAT DAMN DONUT ANYTHING WITH HIS REFINED TASTES
    • *breathes*
  • you keep telling him “no I don’t need this really expensive thing” but he always come back with a swift rebuttal or he just does it anyway
  • (╥﹏╥)
  • eventually, you learn to negotiate with him
    • “okay you can buy me ONE thing, but I get to pick it”
    • of course, you end up picking the cheapest thing in the store >>
  • EXTRA HC WITH SIMPLE MC
    • when you’re alone in his apartment you make a bracelet from Elizabeth 3rd’s ball of yarn
    • when he comes home you give it to him
    • it’s so simple and plain but you made it with the thought of him in mind
    • NO ONE HAS MADE A GIFT FOR HIM BEFORE AND HIS HEART GREW TEN SIZES THAT DAY
    • I WANT THIS DONUT TO BE HAPPY FIGHT ME

707

  • now he knows he doesn’t have the best diet
  • and that he was blessed in so many ways to have someone to clean up after him
  • with a job that paid big enough bucks to fund his car obsession
  • he feels like a class A douche bag when he finds out just how poor you are
  • it was very subtle
  • you dropped a few times how you the only meal you eat is dinner with a few snacks with change you scrounged up from your bag
  • or when you talked about how you liked to take your showers at the gym
  • or the fact that you didn’t even own a laptop
  • Seven did some digging and his suspicions turned out to be true
  • this jellybean wanted to do a good thing for you so he added a shit ton of money into your account
  • when you check it that morning you’re just (゚ロ゚) !
    • you KNOW Seven had something to do about it
    • and you tell him to take the money out (minus the amount you had)
    • ultimately, he takes it out and apologizes
    • you realize he had good intentions so you don’t hold it against the precious jellybean
    • a part of you can’t believe how much integrity you have to have turned down all that money
  • yet Seven is smart
  • he learns you don’t like to have things shoved to you on a silver platter
  • Jaehee suggests making a care package for you
  • so that’s what he does!
    • sends you a box with different things every two weeks
    • one box you got had an electric tea kettle, with a box of assorted herbal and earl gray, some groceries, a bag of honey buddha chips he puts stickers on it, a calico plushie, and cat mittens
  • he makes it anonymous but you figure it’s him because of his precious chips
  • while you didn’t want to accept his help at first, you couldn’t bear making him feel bad for a good deed
    • you think back to the whole money fiasco and you could never forget how SAD he was on the messenger after that
    • no sad Seven
  • you take his care packages with the thought in mind that they were being put to good use

anonymous asked:

Autistic people are often framed as having only a singular, heavily involved "special interest", or perhaps 2 or 3, to the absolute exclusion of anything else. While I know this is likely true for some, I can't imagine that every autistic person ever doesn't have multiple hobbies or interests pursued with varying degrees of engagement. The sense I get from the NT-written things I've encountered make autistic folk seem very one-dimensional. I'd like some help clearing this up, please!

This is one of those topics that hasn’t really been researched, as far as I can tell, so I’ll be sticking to my usual method of speaking for myself and inviting autistic followers to add their thoughts. I can in no way claim to speak for everyone, but am happy to share my perspective.

First off, let me explain how a special interest works for me with a simple metaphor: falling in love. When I first come across a new special interest, its eyes sparkle at me from across the room. I get a tiny taste of it, a fragment of information or a glimpse of a picture, and a spark flies, and a fuse lights, and a bomb of euphoria goes off in my head. This thing, this thing right here, is quite clearly the most amazing, important thing I’ve ever come across. This thing is frigging incredible, the best thing that’s ever happened, and the world needs to know.

I become obsessed. I gobble up information wherever I can find it. I learn everything there is to know as quickly as I possibly can. I become an expert on this thing in a remarkably short amount of time. This is LOVE, man. Well, more accurately, this is infatuation. Puppy love. That drug-like rush of chemicals in your brain when you feel you’ve found THE ONE. I talk about it constantly, much to the annoyance of those around me who just don’t quite understand why this thing, this one thing, is so amazingly great that I need to rant about it to the exclusion of everything else in the world. (Especially since they’ve heard it all before.) Just talking about it gives me a rush of euphoria. Sometimes I can see that those around me aren’t interested, but I just can’t stop. The words pour out of me, the excitement radiates off of me, I can’t be ignored, can’t be interrupted. This is like nothing that has ever happened before! Surely, if I can explain it well enough, everyone else will see, too, right? Right?

If you’ve never been in this kind of love, you might not have learned this lesson yet, but here it comes, folks: that kind of love doesn’t last. That euphoric high that results when your brain decides to take a bath in happy chemicals - it’s just physically impossible to sustain it. Eventually, the high, the firey passion, wears off. For me, this usually takes about a year. I’ve read and watched and learned everything I can about this thing. It’s been the center point of my life for a long time, the thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. And one day, suddenly, it just… doesn’t hold the same appeal. It’s not that I don’t love it anymore! I will always love it. But the love changes. It becomes the old, familiar love that comes with time. You don’t get that high from being together anymore, but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy each other’s company. You no longer try to persuade the world that this one is the one, is the best thing ever. You no longer need to. This love just settles into the back of your mind, always there, always a comfort, always ready to give you a hug when you need it.

The expertise I’ve gained from all my intensive research, that stays. I will always know just about all there is to know about that thing (at least, all there was to know when I was researching it). I’ll always be able to call that knowledge to mind later on, when it’s useful. And I’ve developed quite the reputation for being a “know-it-all”. I always seem to have some random, obscure fact right on the tip of my tongue, and it’s usually debunking some common misconception that my friends would just as soon keep on having rather than feeling like they’re constantly under attack by that one girl who just HAS to know EVERYTHING.

But it doesn’t feel that way for me. A key difference I’ve noted in communication between autistic and allistic people, and the source of a large percentage of our miscommunications in life, is this: allistic people communicate to bond emotionally and to establish and display power and dominance or submission. Autistic people communicate to share information. When I correct someone, it’s because I know that if I was wrong, I would want to be given the correct information, so I could stop being wrong. But when an allistic person is corrected like that, they take it as an attack on their status, a display of power, and a denial of their feelings. The “golden rule” doesn’t always work. It’s a constant problem.

In any case, I have always been described as someone obsessive. Someone who finds one thing (although it’s often two, three, even four things at a time) and just obsessively learns everything about it and won’t shut up about it for months and months on end. And that really does seem to be true, in a sense. I have very extreme levels of interest. Either something is amazing and I need to know everything about it, or it just doesn’t catch my interest at all. There isn’t much in between.

On the other hand, due to all the many special interests I’ve had over my more than three decades of life, I have built up quite a broad range of interests. I never lost any of them. All of those things still interest me now, and when someone brings one of them up in conversation, I still get a spark of the old obsessiveness deep inside. As a result, I now seem to have a wide range of interests, some of which I’m overtly obsessive about, and others which I keep on file, ready to pull out whenever they’re needed. When I was young, that probably wasn’t the case. It’s likely that I may have been viewed as somewhat one-dimensional as a child, obsessed with just a few things and completely uncaring about everything else. (And when my parents, trying to make me act “normal”, tried separating me from my special interests, the pain was as crushing as being forced to leave your True Love because the rest of the world doesn’t want you to be together - and only made my obsession stronger.)

What I want you to understand is that I don’t see that as a negative thing in any way. An allistic person might see that narrow range of interests and think “oh the poor thing, it’s like she lives in a tiny world and is missing so much of life!” But from my perspective, it’s allistic people who are missing out. Allistic people never seem particularly interested in anything, not by my standards. From where I’m standing, it looks like allistics just drift through life, dabbling in a little of everything but never mastering anything, never finding any real interest, never getting any real, intense joy out of any of their hobbies. An allistic person might say to me, “Yeah, I do a little crocheting, but I’m not really that into it.” And in my mind, I’ll think… then why do it at all? How horribly unsatisfying must it be to go through your entire life, never falling in love with anything you do? Never feeling that euphoria that I get to experience over and over again every time I find a new interest?

Autistic and allistic brains are specialized differently. Allistic brains are best at navigating social rules and structures and internalizing broad strokes and large categories. They look at a table for the first time and think: “That’s a table.” And that’s pretty much as far as they go. They might spend a few seconds to note the material or color or overall condition of the table, but that’s it. 

Autistic brains are specialized in details. It means we have more information to process, all those details without any mechanism for discarding the ones that aren’t important, but it also means we get to see everything about something. I see that new table and I can get lost in tracing the patterns of the grain for hours on end. Sure, it takes me longer, but I get a lot more out of it, and I get a joy from that which allistic people just don’t seem to get.

It’s similar with our interests. Allistics have broad interests, dipping their toe into the shallow ends of a thousand different pools but never really diving in. Autistics have narrow but intense interests. We absorb every detail, and in doing so experience an intense and wonderful euphoria. Honestly, sometimes I feel sorry for all the allistic people in the world who never get to experience that. The poor things… ;)

-Mod Aira

For me, I can have both special interests and normal-level interests. Just because I have stuff that I really really love and am passionate about doesn’t mean I can’t also have other interests, that I’m not quite as passionate about but that I like to dabble in from times to times or as a part of my routine. I do not feel however the urge or will to research them in more depth. There is joy that I can derive from it, but there is not the same “drive” to pursue it. I’d say that’s the main difference between a regular interest and what we call a special interest: a drive to learn about it, talk about it, read about it, build projects about it, engage with it, that is much stronger. So one person can have one or a few special interests, but I’d say it’s not always to the exclusion of everything else.

I think the intensity of special interests, their “obsessiveness” and whether or not the person likes to engage with other subjects that their special interests depends a lot from one person to the next. My special interests sound less intense than what Aira is describing, and I may have more varied non-special interests. So really I’d say this is something that depends a lot from one person to the next.

I also want to add that just because someone has a narrow range of interests doesn’t mean they’re one-dimensional: I’ve seen a special interest described as a lense through which you understand the world. The world is large, and even if you have only one such “lense”, that’s a lot of things to discover with that unique point of view.

-Mod Cat

anonymous asked:

You always say that Viktor and Yuuri's story and beginings of their relathionship are really toxic and they're not at all an example for any similar situations in RL (and i totally agree with you, of course), but... how do you picture your Rivals AU if instead a toxic and heartbreaking story of painful misunderstandings, they would have progressed from rivalry/hate to love in a more healthy way? How has your story happened? Really curious because i can't imagine otherwise now!

There are lots of ways that the relationship could have progressed more healthily and Viktor and Yuuri definitely took the hardest path! Good and clear communication would have been the easiest way there to clear up a lot of the misunderstandings. Either Yuuri explaining why he hated Viktor or voicing his fears that Viktor is just using him or that their time is limited or talking about his own self doubt or Viktor telling Yuuri how he was feeling would have solved everything a lot quicker. It wouldn’t have been easy but it would have been easier at least. It would have prompted a conversation that would have been enlightening for both of them. They both had their reasons for not talking but communication is really important.

But even without the communication aspect they both could have had a much healthier start to the relationship if they had gone about things differently. Yuuri’s story is a lot about how damaging hatred can be if you let it go too far and how self-doubt and self-deprecation can blind you. If he had stopped assuming things about Viktor or assuming he knew how Viktor felt he might have been able to be more objective. If he hadn’t been so blinded by hate for so long he would have been able to see Viktor wasn’t who he expected him to be. If he hadn’t been so caught up in his own head and so convinced that he was less worthy and that Viktor could never want him he would have been able to see that wasn’t true at all.

On Viktor’s side it’s all about how damaging love can be if it’s not healthy and how impulsive decisions are a bad idea. He falls in love with Yuuri without really knowing him that well and has a very all or nothing attitude. He’s impulsive which leads to a lot of situations that could have been solved if he hadn’t rushed into it (like the banquet in chapter 8) and he gets very stuck in the mindset that it’s better to accept the love that you can get rather than seeking out the love that you deserve. You’ll see more of it in obs&bh but the way he keeps going along with Yuuri despite wanting more is not healthy. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with casual sex but he quite clearly wants more and it hurts him that all he can have is physical intimacy and not emotional. The healthy thing to do would have been to not sleep with Yuuri or stop sleeping with him when it was clear that they wanted different things. He could still try and be friends with Yuuri and be close to him but the complicated sex vs romance relationship was very damaging to them both but him especially and he could have chosen to end it but didn’t.

So in an ideal world they would have talked everything out early on. But even if that didn’t happen they still could have developed the relationship in a much healthier way. If Viktor hadn’t slept with Yuuri or had stopped sleeping with him but still been nice to him and tried to be friends it could have avoided a lot. It might have taken time but Yuuri would gradually have come to see that Viktor wasn’t the cruel person he thought of him as and he wouldn’t assume that Viktor was just being close to him for sex. On Viktor’s side he wouldn’t have been hurt with a years long semi-relationship that was a lot less than he wanted or deserved. He could still try and be friends with Yuuri of course and they would grow to know each other better over the years. In real life (and in the fic) it’s damaging to be hung up on one person who’s made it clear they don’t want the same thing as you. Eventually they would have got together after coming to know each other gradually and Yuuri eventually accepting Viktor’s friendship which would have progressed naturally into romance years down the line when he was ready and they had talked things out properly. In the meantime Viktor could have moved on from just being hung up on Yuuri for five years and instead gone out and lived his life and come back to romance with Yuuri only when Yuuri actually wanted him back rather than just pining. It might have taken longer but it would have spared them both a lot of pain.

So essentially, what they do is a guide about what not to do and in the end they both learn that. They get there in the end but my god did they not make it easy for themselves

spooky-little-boy  asked:

Here's a question on characterization I've always wanted to ask. How do you feel about Victor Fries? What do you like in terms of his personality and backstory? Early on he was nothing but a petty criminal, however BtAS gave him the tragic Nora story, which paved way for more development. Problem is, you can't really write him as a "villain" anymore can you? Beyond your usual "Heart Of Ice" story, any other time he's evil no longer makes sense. Not when everyone's reminding him about Nora.

Mr. Freeze is fairly unique among all of Batman’s foes in that the entire reason for his villainy is his devotion to his wife. Many of the villains have tragic pasts–Scarecrow had an extremely dysfunctional upbringing, Killer Croc was abused as a child and mocked for his appearance, Poison Ivy was experimented on and then abandoned by a manipulative man she was in love with–that serve as an explanation for why they later became villains, but often their motivations tend to be self-serving, vengeful, or based on warped logic. Victor, however, only became a villain because he truly felt he had no other choice. 

That said, Freeze does take a bit of a more rage-driven direction after he’s irrevocably separated from Nora. In a story from The Batman Adventures called “White Christmas”, Freeze escapes from Arkham Asylum on Christmas Eve and plunges Gotham into a snow-storm, causing numerous problems for the city’s citizens. He even threatens to kill Batman before finally revealing the reason for his behavior. 

And then you have “Cold Comfort”, an episode of The New Batman Adventures where Freeze goes on a rampage and rids people of their most prized possessions: he destroys a dinosaur skeleton painstakingly pieced together by an archaeologist over the course of decades and an artist’s masterpiece painting, and threatens both pets and children. Nora had since recovered and remarried after failing to reunite with a distant Victor, and he later reveals that years of living in the freeze suit had caused his body to decay until the only part of him that was still alive was his disembodied head. Because Victor felt great pain and misery over his staggering losses, he wanted others to feel that same despair as well, and attempts to nuke Gotham with a reverse fusion bomb because nothing would hurt Batman more than to see his beloved city destroyed. In his own words, Victor wanted to “steal hope”.

“Ironic, isn’t it? After all I did to keep my wife whole, I end up like this. You understand now why I could not return to my Nora. My treasure. There’s no hope for me… or you or your city. Everyone’s going to feel my loss.

In the Batman Beyond episode “Meltdown”, Freeze gets a second chance at life when an experimental procedure gives him a new body that allows him to live without the use of his temperature-controlled suit. Overjoyed, he takes the opportunity to make amends for the damage he caused in his past and expresses genuine remorse towards his victims, and even begins a relationship with the doctor who performed his operation. But when it’s revealed that the procedure was a failure and the doctor calmly attempts to terminate him despite his pleas, Freeze escapes before returning in his suit and ruthlessly killing the doctor. At the episode’s conclusion Terry McGinnis tries to save Freeze from perishing in an explosion, but he refuses and sadly tells Terry that he’s the only person who cares whether he lives or dies. 

So while Freeze was originally driven solely by the selfless desire to keep his beloved wife alive, I do think he fully has the capacity to be a villain even without Nora being in the picture. The greatest tragedy of Victor’s life is not what happened to his wife, but that he was forced to be a villain for so long that he lost himself entirely and no longer knows any other way to exist. 

anonymous asked:

this might be a weird question but why do you ship yoonkook/sugakookie? Its my otp as well but idk id like to hear why haha

Alright anonnie! I am going to spam you with some of my favorite sugakookie moments (although I can never cover all of them). They’re one of my (and BigHit’s) top ships for a reason and I’ll show you why! THIS GOT SUPER LONG (I WENT OVERBOARD AGAIN) so I’m going to put half of his under the cut.

First of all, I really love the dynamic Sugakookie has. They complement each other really well if you look closely. They’re both incredibly hardworking, quiet when they need to be and not-so-quiet when the time is right. People like to use that whole father-son thing, but I beg to differ. Yoongi takes care of Jungkook in a way that shows he wants to protect him and cherish him. In my trash shipper mind, Yoongi is treating Jungkook like a lover he wants to care for no matter the cost and protect him from the world. He has an incredibly obvious soft spot for Jungkook and he lets the maknae get away with things the other members wouldn’t be able to get away with. All the hyungs have a massive soft spot for Jungkook, but Yoongi’s soft spot for him is different in a sense. He looks at Jungkook fondly and defends him (when the other members tease him) and spoils him (with lots of food). They’re comfortable with each other. Their moments are subtle but very meaningful. Each touch has a purpose and says a lot about their relationship. I’m going to give a few lot of moments and explain them.

Okay, this is from a recent photoshoot. Here you see that Yoongi has both hands on Jungkook’s shoulders and his head pressed again Jungkook’s. He didn’t have to do that. He could of just put one arm around Kookie’s shoulders and call it a day. But he didn’t, he leaned against Kookie and put both hands on him and it’s a sign of unconscious protection and care. I’m probably looking way too into this, but I can’t get over it. Call me trash, I am trash.

Now this…I’m not gonna talk about the obvious thing I’m thinking because I’m pretty sure you notice it too. The fact that Jungkook is pressing his body against Yoongi’s (and Yoongi is letting him without any sign of discomfort or unfamiliarity) may show that he’s done this before. It isn’t anything new for them. See how Jungkook’s hand squeezes Yoongi’s shoulder? I like to think that he may have picked up that gesture from Yoongi who loves to hold Kook by his neck.

RUN ERA WAS A BLESSING. Jungkook is so comfortable laying down on Yoongi’s thighs. He even adjusted his position. While they’re filming a behind the scenes video, Kookie doesn’t get up, he just continues laying there. 

This glorious V Live nobody should ever forget. This is a prime example of them being comfortable together. They have no qualms about skinship at all and Kookie just leans on Yoongi which implies that he trusts Yoongi a lot now imagine them cuddling. In this video, Jungkook told Yoongi to wink with him. At first Yoongi resisted, but caved and did it just to satisfy the maknae and see him smile. If that’s not being whipped I don’t know what is.

Another huge thing is Yoongi defending Jungkook. In both of these cases, the other members are teasing Jungkook. Yoongi is always the odd one out that defends Jungkook. The moment in the second gif is particularly meaningful to me. In that situation, all the members were saying that they were scared of Jungkook hitting them because he has muscles. I think Kookie looked really uncomfortable and even a bit sad. He may have a felt a bit guilty but also a bit hurt that his members think of him that way even if it’s just for show. Yoongi is very observant and he probably noticed Jungkook acting a little off too (Kookie wears his emotions on his sleeve if you take the time to notice these things) so Yoongi calls him cute to soothe him. He wants Jungkook to understand that they don’t mean he’s a bad maknae and that they still love him and think he’s adorable. Plus, that look they shared and they both smiled right after. Look at Kookie’s nose scrunch. Then Yoongi defending Jungkook’s scent preference after Jimin said he liked women’s perfumes. He doesn’t want Kookie to be called a pervert even if it’s just teasing.

This, just this.

THIS IS LEGENDARY FOR SUGAKOOKIE SHIPPERS. I couldn’t stop screaming about this for days. The thing about this is that THEY BOTH reached for each other. THEY BOTH couldn’t stop smiling. Look at the tight hold they have on each other and then Kookie proceeds to nuzzle his hyung for a bit more. Yoongi doesn’t look like he minds the affection AT ALL. Jungkook can throw himself at Yoongi without hesitation because he knows Yoongi will catch him and hug him back. 

I thought this was really cute. When Jungkook said “Hyung!” without specifying which one he was talking to, Yoongi whips his head around SO QUICKLY. It’s like he expects Jungkook to be referring to him, that he doesn’t need to specify which hyung if it’s him. Again, I may be looking too into it, but let me live. I’m trash for Sugakookie. Anyways, this is another example of the more subtle sugakookie moments.

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anonymous asked:

Noticed that you haven't been posting a lot of fanfic recently (not complaining or judging because LIFE), but just lettin' you know that I love your fics and can't wait for more!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

This made me very happy, anon! You’re right, life has been eating away at my soul as of late, and I haven’t been able to really write much (including missing out jaytimweek WAH). 

I debated even sharing this, but since you inquired, here’s the opening of a fic I was working on for jaytimweek:

last chance to lose your keys
sum: Tim loses his memory. Jason runs out of excuses.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Tim commented quietly from his corner of the room. He watched Jason drop his leather duffle on the ugly, floral bedspread, abused springs protesting loudly under its weight. It sounded dirty, the kind of sleazy noise a person would expect to hear at a pay-by-the-hour motel.

And then Jason unzipped the bag with steady hands to pull out a shiny black handgun.

Tim’s mouth went dry.

Green-blue eyes flicked his way for only a moment before Jason scoffed, his fingers deft and skillful as they twisted in a silencer at the tip of his gun. “Yes, I did.”

The events of the past two days were still an anxious blur in Tim’s mind. He remembered few concrete details on how he ended up in Las Vegas with Jason, a gun-toting, snarky asshole with the kind of face that made Tim want to bite the back of his hand.

At least, he said his name was Jason. Tim couldn’t remember if that were true or not.

He did know some things. He knew his name was Timothy Drake-Wayne. He knew he worked at Wayne Enterprises for bleak stretches of time, attending stuffy, drawn out meetings, the Millennial mouthpiece for one playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne.

But he also knew Bruce’s secret, and he worked alongside him and others to fight crime in Gotham City as Red Robin. He could picture Dick’s sleek, acrobatic fighting style, knew the exact shade of Steph’s blonde hair, could feel the silence that followed Cass around like armour, hear the impatient tone of Damian’s voice.

But this Jason? Tim had no memory of him at all.

“You think I’m a flight risk?”

Jason ignored him, checking for ammo before snapping the clip back into place and cocking the gun with an ominous slide of metal springs. He turned away from his duffel to stalk the length of their room, which was only big enough to fit two full beds and a bulky TV from the ‘90s. When he got to the window, Jason eased back thin, ugly curtains with his gun.

“We’re more than an hour from the next town, and there’s nothing but desert and darkness between the mile markers,” Tim tried again. He already knew there was no point in arguing, but old habits made him try.

Jason laughed again, low and derisive, and flicked the curtains back into place. “Got it all figured out, huh?” He tucked the gun into the holster beneath his jacket, twisting slightly so Tim could see the strong curve of his back. “We got a regular Wonder Boy on our hands.”

The reference irked Tim, made his skin crawl thinking about the things Jason knew about him – and all the things he didn’t know about Jason. The first thing he’d done when he’d come to, soaking wet on the tiled bathroom floor in some swanky hotel room, was call Bruce.

“I’ll tell you more when you’re home,” Bruce had said, his voice placating. There was a long pause before he’d added, “You can trust him.”

“But–,” Tim had tried to argue.

“Leave it,” Bruce said, his voice more clipped than before. “You don’t need to know anything else right now.” He promised to check in on them in the morning, and then promptly hung up.

Clearly, Bruce had chose his words carefully. The reason why felt important.


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