why are you shoving that round thing that says surf on my face


You are cloned out of an ancient fossil and taken in by a mob who claims you’re their god, and you have absolutely no idea what is happening.

Also, your main food source is probably extinct.

Uncut version here.

Feel free to visit my store for the “Praise the Helix” and “Fear the Dome” prints and more.

anonymous asked:

Can we have a fix it fic with both Sanvers and SuperCorp in which they go on a double date that Lena had told Kara they would do and it's just extremely fluffy and cute. (Maybe some smut involved at the end for the both of them) :)

It’s not the double date she expected, but god, is it more than she could have dreamed of.

It’s months after Jack and it’s months after Kara gave her ex boyfriend the final rejection she should have given him from the start.

It’s months after, and the double date isn’t with Lena and her partner and Kara with hers.

The double date is Lena and Kara.

With Maggie and Alex.

Lena shakes a little beforehand, and she doesn’t bother trying to hide it. Kara can hear her heartbeat, but even if she couldn’t, she knows her. Really knows her. In a way no one else ever has.

“Lena, it’s going to be fine. You already know them, and they’re going to love you even more after getting to know you better.”

“Your sister’s DEO, and Maggie’s a cop. She’s arrested me, for crying out loud, Kara. I’m… just a Luthor, to them.”

“You’re not,” Kara says, and her voice is firm, less like Kara and more like Supergirl, and Kara’s power, her strength, sends a heady rush through Lena’s body, calming her. Soothing her. Reminding her.

Kara chose her. Kara will protect her. Always.

She doesn’t know that across town, Maggie is having a similar meltdown.

“I’ve arrested her, Alex. For something she didn’t even do!”

“And you’ve apologized, babe, and she said she understood, and she – ”

“I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Maggie, how… how would you ever disappoint me?”

Maggie shrugs, her eyes averted. “I don’t want to mess the date up.”

“You won’t. You’re going to make the date perfect. Okay?”

Maggie can’t help but smile at the calm confidence, the steady faith, in Alex’s eyes.

“Yeah. Okay.”

A sudden breeze blows through both of their hair, but they don’t bother jumping.

“You just love the fact that you can carry her around like that, don’t you?” Alex asks without even turning around, and Lena laughs lightly as Kara sets her down from her bridal-style position in her arms.

“You’re telling me you don’t carry your woman around like that, Agent Danvers?” Lena teases, and Maggie smirks as Kara shoves her fingers in her ears and starts humming loudly.

“Oh, Kara, your sister’s allowed to have a sex life,” Lena laughs.

“Yeah, but not in front of me, she’s not!”

“Don’t worry, Little Danvers, we’ll keep things PG for you.”

Kara gives her a fake glare, and Alex pulls her into a laughing hug.

“So – we said bowling?” she asks Lena, and Lena nods gamely.

“Lex taught me – it’s one of the ways I learned physics, largely,” she offers almost shyly, and Alex’s eyes light up.

“I learned physics from surfing! I would study it obsessively before I even…”

Maggie and Kara hung back as Alex and Lena strolled out of the apartment.

“We both just lost our dates to science, didn’t we, Sunshine?”

Kara grins. “Maybe we can team up and beat them at bowling!”

They both smile, relishing the idea, but once they have a chance to think about it, they frown at exactly the same moment.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do that,” they course correct at the same time, and they laugh the entire way there.

Lena and Alex keep rolling perfect strikes.

Of course they do.

Maggie isn’t bad – she’s slightly better at this than she is at pool – and Kara is, by painful necessity, excellent at Earth physics, but for the sake of fun, she’s trained her body to not always be the best at every single sport.

So Lena is really holding their team up.

And Alex is holding up hers and Maggie’s.

They grab pizza and fries and root beers and club sodas in between rounds, and Lena’s eyes sparkle at how enthusiastically her girlfriend eats.

“Get you a girl that looks at you the way Lena Luthor looks at Kara Danvers,” Maggie writes on her snapchat to James, and Alex glances over at it and laughs.

“What about a girl who looks at you the way I do?” Alex wants to know.

“What other girls? I only see you, Danvers.”

Kara and Lena have to toss french fries at them to get them to stop making out and carry on with the game. Maggie just wears a shit-eating grin as she thanks them for the fries, collecting them off of her and Alex’s laps and popping them into her mouth.

Lena rolls her eyes, but it’s out of happiness, out of laughter, out of… friendship.

It’s midnight before any of them are ready to leave, before both couples have won enough games to safely call it a draw.

It’s midnight before Alex takes Maggie home and shoves her up against the door of her apartment the moment they get inside.

“This okay?” she asks, and Maggie giggles.

“What brought this on, Danvers?”

“Have you seen those jeans you’ve been wearing all night?”

Maggie looks down at her own body and shrugs. “You certainly have.”

“I want them off. If you do, I mean.”

“So take them off, Danvers.”

And she does.

Across town, Kara and Lena are having a similar… conversation, though Kara’s is about Lena’s bra, about how she’s conflicted because it’s so lacey, so pretty, but so is what’s underneath it, and Kara just can’t figure out what the best course of action is.

“Why don’t we do an experiment?” Lena proposes in her richest voice, and Kara’s insides melt in the best of ways.

“I’m listening,” she husks, an almost feral grin on her face.

“You can fuck me with my bra on, and then you can give it another go with my bra off. And we can… evaluate the results.”

“I like the way you think, Lena.”

“And I like the way you make love to me, Kara.”

“So I will then.”

“That, my darling? Is the best news I’ve heard all night.”

Just Another Prank (Ethan Dolan x Reader)

Summary: A (sort of) part two to ‘Just A Prank’. Grayson asks you to help him pull a prank on your boyfriend Ethan.

Warnings: Anger and shit I guess, swearing duh

Word Count: 1,350.

A/N: Posting this in celebration of 100 followers- thank you!!

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Old Friend! Cal

Pairing: Y/N and Calum

Warning: Smut, Swearing and Spanking

Word count: 3K

Summery: Y/N is a surfer who bumps in to her old friend and they catch up ;) Also i’ve written before, not on tumblr though so first one! I’m excited af!!

Originally posted by mheartworld

I placed my surfboard in the sand and looked at the sea, todays been the longest day and its only really just begun, I had to work the late shift at work again last night and my boss is a pain in the ass, always wanting something from me, do this, do that. Like what do I look like a piece of shit you can walk on? No, at least I have the weekends off, which gives me two day to relax and enjoy the view of the sea and of course, go for a surf. I’ve been surfing since I can remember my dad used to take me out every Saturday morning, since his death I’ve still gone although his replacement is a pain in my ass i still love her for coming out with me, id rather be with Y/F/N then be alone. 

“What did you want? I have a ham sandwich or cheese before we hit the waves”
I looked over Y/F/N as she leant over the picnic basket, Y/F/N was tall, blonde and blue eyes, you would of thought she actually knew how to surf but she doesn’t, but she’s getting better every time I take her out. She got out the sandwiches and looked up at me.


"Mm cheese please”

“Are you sure?”

“You want the cheese don’t you?” I giggled, she tossed me the ham sandwich and sat on the tartan picnic blanket.

“Do you ever get tiered of surfing?” she asked

“How do you get tiered of something you love?”

“Didn’t Derrick get tiered of you?”

I took a bite out of my sandwich at the name of my Ex of nearly 6 months, We’d been together 2 years It was puppy love we’d met in high school he was the new beautiful American boy in a foreign land and he was the classic popular boy with all the girls swooning at him, after about 3 months he asked me out and me being shocked as why he asked me I said yes, turns out that the relationship was a bet which earned him $20 and that for 5 months he’d been cheating on me with his soon to be step-sister, which is disgusting 1. because you don’t cheat on somebody and 2. its practically insets. But after people found out his mum never did marry that guy and he moved far away from here.

“He didn’t really love me though”

“He was a asshole and a pig and he didn’t deserve someone like you sorry for bringing it up”


"Hurry up and eat the rest of that and we can go surfing" 

I ate the last piece of my sandwich and stood up wiping off the sand that had already managed to get on my ass. As I looked over the beach it was quite empty apart from a tanned boy reading a book and a elderly couple sitting on deckchairs. As I looked more at the tanned boy the more I recognise him, I’m not sure where from though.

"Y/N c'mon”

I grabbed my surfboard and followed Y/F/N down to the sea

I shook off the water from my hair and undid my wetsuit revealing my blue poka-dot bikini. Nothing attractive really it just something comfortable, and something that if I take of my wetsuit I won’t be stripping down to my birthday suit. I folded my towel around my wetsuit so my bag won’t get soaked and put it in my bag whilst getting out my shorts and t-shirt and putting them over my bikini. Y/F/N was also doing the same. 

“Are you entering the surf competition this year?” She asked

“No I don’t think I should”

“And why not?”

“Because of last year” Last year, the year was awful it was the year i fell off the surfboard and whacked my face against the board whilst doing a trick, after the competition I came 4th and had to get stitches in my nose. 

“But that won’t happen again, history doesn’t repeat itself”

“I’ll think about it”

“Ok well I’m going to go to Dans and I’ll see you tonight at the camp fire”

“Do I have to go” I wined

“Yes and if not I’m going to drag you by your hair”

“How about no”

“Bye Y/N” she giggled

I waved goodbye to Y/F/N as she walked across the road to her boyfriend Dans house, he’s really nice and takes care of Y/F/N, he’s holding the campfire party tonight as he practically lives on the beach, which I wish I could do, unfortunately I live 10 minutes away from the beach and have a small flat in the middle of town, which is the busiest part of any place. 

I grasped hold of my bag and surfboard and walked over to my car. A shitty blue box basically, but thats all I can afford, due to the fact that all I do is surf and theres not really a degree in that. I opened the passenger door to put my bag in but the wind made it slam against the car next to it.

Shit” I said whilst dropping my surfboard and bag to the ground.

I pulled my door away from the other car, hoping that no one had saw as there was a little bit of my blue paint on there red car, I licked my thumb and rubbed it against the blue paint but it seemed to make it worse and it smudged a little and revealed a silver scratch down it. I looked back up and saw no one, I shouldn’t leave it but theres nothing I can do, I turned around going to pick up my bag but I fell into someone’s arms.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry”

“No worries” the man said, I stood back up on my own two feet and looked up at the man, although, these eyes I recognised all too well, the tanned boy on the beach was in fact the boy who went to my high school and was one of my good friends until I started dating Derrick, His name was Calum and boy did puberty hit him hard.


“Hey Y/N”

“H-How are you, its been so long?”

“Good, apart from I now have a blue scratch on my car”

“This is your car? I’m so so so sorry” I said turning around and closing my car door and leaning against it with my head in my hands.

“I really didn’t mean too it was the wind but I was just putting my bag in the-”

“Y/N! it’s ok I’m getting a new car next week and this is going to the scrap”

“Oh well thats a relief” I sighed

I stood there looking at him, he’s changed a lot since the last time I saw him. His full fringe now turned into the semi quiff. His muscles now defined and tattoos over his arm and chest, which is practically screaming at me as he’s not wearing a shirt.  His brown eyes still warm, a beautiful dark brown colour and more noticeable now he’s not wearing his geeky glasses. He’s also such a beautiful colour and has beautiful golden skin. In a way I missed him and when he used to come round and tutor me, well when I say tutor me I mean we used to make pillow forts even know though we were 15 and supposed to be learning Shakespeare. But it all went, the fun, the laughs and the happiness when Derrick asked me out and Cal used to ignore me, he never wanted to hang out. I tried for months every time i asked him to go somewhere he’d shove it to the side, in the end Derrick told me to stop trying with someone who didn’t care for me anymore.

“Do you need help with your surfboard?" 

"Oh no I’m ok really”

"Ok well I’m going to go, it was nice seeing you”



“What are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing, why?”

“Did you want to come to the camp fire party? It on this beach at 7?”

“You want me to come?”

“More than anything" 


I grabbed my surfboard and went round to the back of my car whilst Calum pulled out his car, all i heard was the remains of All time low Backseat serenade as he drove off.

I put my surfboard in the boot and my bag in there too. I got in my car, the green air freshener Y/F/N made me buy after I had eaten a McDonalds filled my nose with a mint flavour, one of them smells that you can actually taste, I’ve been meaning to get read of it but its in the shape of a surfboard and looks pretty cool. I turned the radio on and drove home.

“So that’s why we broke up” I finished explain mine and Derricks break up to Calum

“Well if you’re asking me he’s a dick for doing that to you”


I looked around the beach and everyone was in there pacts and chatting away, Y/F/N was practically eating her boyfriends face off.  There was a group of girls on the beach dancing to the overly played pop music. However I was sat toasting marshmallows with Calum who arrived in a black button up shirt and black jeans which made him look more attractive then ever, it was hard to take my eyes off him.

”What happened to us?”

“He told me to stay away from you”

“What really?!” I gasped and turned toward Calum. 

“Yeah, after you got together he told me to stay away, so I did”

“Why did you listen to that ass?" 

"Because..h-he told me he’d hurt you if I didn’t, not as in violence but he’d tell you things, that wouldn’t be true not ever, but you seemed so happy with him”

"You shouldn’t have listened”

“I know.. But I was young and stupid”

I looked at the fire in front of us and back at Calum

“Wanna go to my house and build a pillow fort?” Calum laughed and grabbed the packet of marshmallows we were eating

“Let’s go”

The whole journey to my flat I couldn’t keep my eyes of Calum and his jawline mostly, man that could cut a bitch. 

We got to the door and I unlocked it, I went straight to my room and got all the duvets and pillow and ran back into the living room

“I went through you cupboards and found chocolate, cola and ice cream, along with the marshmallows we stole" 

"Great here we go”

We spent a hour building the fort, trying to keep pillows on top of other pillows but failed most of the time so our fort is a few pillows on the floor with the duvet lying across two sofas above us. We managed to eat the rest of the marshmallows and the ice cream had melted by the time we got to it, after the cokes I went and got something a bit stronger.

“I can’t believe I haven’t seen you in three years” I said whilst opening the bottle of beer and passing it to Calum

“I missed you”

”Ive missed you too” I whispered, looking down at the beer

“How’s you love life, anyway? I told you about Derrick what about you?”

“I’m not with anyone”

“Really a guy like you?” I said whilst Calum sat up on his elbow looking over me

“Yeah a guy like me, there’s only one girl that I can’t live without”

“Really who?”

“Selena Gomez” I laughed at him and I smacked his shoulder

“No but really, ever since day one it’s always been her”

“Ever since she went on Disney channel?”

“No I’m not talking about Selena I’m talking about you”


“Yeah you” he mumbled 

I looked up at him and his eyes seem to look genuine, I never thought that he would like me, I didn’t even know I could like him. But the feeling in my stomach tells me otherwise. He lent down and gave me a Eskimo kiss which made me laugh and as did he.

“God you’re a idiot”

I rolled on top of him and leant down 

"I know Cal, I know” I pressed my lips to his, I’ve never felt fireworks, never ever but if this is what fireworks feel like I want more, I swiped my tongue over his lips and he taste like minty-cola. I stopped kissing him and tugged on his bottom lip, smirking at him which made him moan and made me laugh. I moved to his neck, he smelled delicious and I sucked a hickey. His hand grabbed hold of my waist as he tried to grind up into me, which made me moan into his neck.

“Y/N-N please”

“What do you want?" 

“You” I sit up straight and rest my hands on his chest slowly scratching down as I grind on him. 

“As much as I love this” He gets hold of my shirt and pulls it over me and flips us over. 

”I’m Incharge, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted this”

I grabbed hold of erection and slowly palmed him

“I think I have a rough idea”

He leant down and kissed me again as I leant up and unclipped my bra. He started to kiss down my neck sucking hickeys as he went, he got down to my boobs and sucked onto my left nipple whilst his hand massaged my left. 

“F-fuck Calum” I whined 

He moaned which vibrated around my nipple, he took the other nipple into his mouth I was in pure bliss, my hand went into Calums hair and the other too Calums button on his jeans he sat up and took off his jeans and then undid mine. 

“I’ve been waiting for this so long I don’t think I’ll last…”

“It okay I just need you and only you”

He took of my panties and his boxers and reached over to his jeans as he was doing that I leant forward and kitten licked his dick

“Y/N Jesus” I looked up at him and he had his head tilted back and his hand moved into my hair 

“Y/N” he whined as I took him into my mouth, he let out a few curse words before tugging me off him

“I-I w-wanna fuck you”

I leant back “then do it” I giggled whilst rolling onto all fours and wiggling my ass in the air. I heard a small ‘fuck’, after he rolled on the condom his hand came down and slapped my ass. Which I was not expecting to feel so good, so I wiggled my ass again and he laughed whilst palming my ass and spanking it again. I felt his tip at my entrance and he stayed there circling it around my entrance. “Calum” I whined, “What?” he smirked, I pushed myself backwards onto him. We moaned in unison as he pounded into me, he kept smacking my ass and I could feel him hitting my g-spot which made me muffle my face in the pillow below as I clutched the sheets.

“Nu-uh pretty girl” Calum moaned and grabbed my hair and pulled me into his chest hitting me at a better angle. I reached around and grabbed hold of his ass and leant my head on his shoulder. He sucked on my neck licking over the hickeys he previously made. Which made me whimper over and over again. 

“I’m going to cum pretty girl”


“Cum then beautiful” he whispered in my ear, which sent me over the edge as I fell onto the pillows, I series of swears and relating Calums name came out my mouth as I saw stars. I got up just to turn my head around and watch Calum cum in me.

I rolled over and he collapsed on top of me so his head was resting on my chest. 

“You know I wasn’t joking, I’ve like you for a really long time when you went with Derrick I was so upset and I didn’t want to hurt you so I let you to be with someone you loved”

“I never really loved him, I always thought of you, ya know, I thought of you more than him, you were always on my mind”

He raised his head and kissed me 

“Be mine?”

6 weeks later it was the surf competition and I had made it into the final, there were me and two others Australia’s sweetheart and a girl who is a bitch so I’m not associating with her, it was the last race and we had to perform at least 5 tricks I was nervous as fuck. So far I haven’t smashed my face on any surfboards and I’m a lot more experienced this year and i’ve got an amazing boyfriend who’s been supporting me through this competition along with Y/F/N and Dan.

“You’re going to do great baby” Calum says whilst kissing my forehead

“Thank you”

“Yeah!! you’re gonna splash them outta the water” Y/F/N said excitedly whilst jumping up and down into Dan’s arms

“I love you” Calum whispered in my ear my breath hitched and I turned around to face him 

“You mean it?”

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t” he blushed

I grabbed hold of his face and kissed him “I love you too” I mumbled against his lips

We smiled into the kiss and let go by the sound of the speaker calling me over

“If you win I’ll give you the champion a small present” he spoke whilst winking

“Pretty sure it’s not small Cal” I shouted as I ran to the start line.

Cinderella and Romeo

Request: Desolation Row Gerard PLZ

The whole venue smelled of alcohol and sweat. Swarms of people filed in, all decked out in elaborate and sinful clothing. It was a full house of punks on Cloud 9 tonight, the band better ready to deliver. My Chemical Romance was infamous for these outrages gigs, where every misfit could mosh pit and crowd surf to their heart’s desire. The lights dimmed suddenly, earning an eager roar from the crowd below. Only the silhouettes of the band could be made out in the dim lighting. A loud guitar riff rang out from the darkness and the lights flashed on, revealing the complete band in their usual ripped up attire. The leader looked, smirked and began to belt in the mic.

“They’re selling postcards of the hanging
Well they’re painting the passports brown
And the beauty parlor’s filled with sailors
The circus is in town”

The crowd fired back with more energy, jumping, dancing, and singing back as loud as possible. I tried to keep my distance from the crazy mosh pitters and watch the performance.

“Oh now look, here comes the blind commissioner
Well they got him in a trance
One hand is tied to the tight-rope walker
The other’s in his pants”

The girls near the front swooned as the singer gave them a flirtatious wink. Gerard Way was very attractive. It didn’t take long for him to become the town sex symbol. Soon the front row was always filled with girls, all dreaming to one day become one of his groupies.

“And the riot squad they’re restless
They need somewhere to go
As Lady and I look out tonight
From Desolation Row!

Cinderella, she seem so easy
“Well it takes one to know one,” she smiles
And she puts her hands in her back pockets
Oh Bette Davis style

And now here comes Romeo, moaning
“You Belong to Me I Believe”
And someone says, “You’re in the wrong place, my friend
You better leave”

The mosh pit was getting bigger and bigger. It didn't take long for the whole crowd to become engulfed in it-even me. During the relentless pushing and shoving, I somehow ended up in the second row.

“And then the only sound that’s left
After the ambulances go
Is Cinderella sweepin’ up
On Desolation Row

Now at midnight all the agents
And superhuman crew
Go out and round up everyone
That knows more than they do
(Knows more than they do)”

Holy shit. Gerard was looking at me. He was kneeling down on the very edge of the stage, screaming out the lyrics and looking right at me. I tried to brush it off, I just got shoved in the head countless times, i’m probably just seeing things but mos importantly, why would he be looking at me anyway?

“They’re gonna bring ‘em to the factory
Where the heart-attack machine
Is strapped across their shoulders
And then the kerosene”

I could see a crowd surfer heading right at me. In an attempt to dodge him, I took a few steps back. Big mistake. I stumbled over someones feet and dropped to the floor. 

“They’re gonna bring 'em to the factory
Where the heart-attack machine
Is strapped across their shoulders
And then the kerosene”

I yelled as I hit the floor, unable to move and begging for someone to help me up. But nothing.

Is brought down from the castles
By insurance men who go
Check to see that-.
..security! We need some help over here! Everybody make some room! Stop! Stop! STOP!”

The crowd mellowed out at the urgency in Gerard’s voice. The music ended abruptly and the crowd stooped partying, both parties looking up confused at the front man. “I think somebody fell down and their getting crushed” Gerard quickly explained. The group of people around me finally seemed to notice I was laying on the floor and pulled me up to my feet. “And that was an intense fucking moment, so if you guys would’ve started jumping, you probably would have killed that girl” Gerard looked at the security guards and pointed at me “Lets get her out of there”. Muscular men in plain black tees pushed through the crowd, picked me up and brought me to the side of the stage. “Thank you for stopping guys. Now, are you ready to rock?!” The crowds excitement returned and yelled for more. The band started right where they left off.

“Check to see that no one is escaping
To Desolation Row

'Cause right now I can’t read too good
Don’t send me no letters no
Not unless you’re gonna mail them
From Desolation Row!”

The guitarist jumped wildly and slammed his guitar into the drums, signaling the end of the song. Gerard smirked at the crowd before turning to face me. He slowly walked over, signaling the security to leave. He smiled brightly at me, reaching for my hand and bringing it to his lips. 

“Hello Cinderella, my names Gee Way”

I joked about this on twitter and somehow it got a lot longer than I intended. Thanks to Mr. Ackles for the Awkwardville quote. Perceived MCD for a second but no one is dead, I promise. 3.4k. on AO3

Dean shouts a warning too late and the spell hits Cas like fireworks.

The witch doesn’t get another word out before Sam runs him through. The blade is rusted. Cas’s name echoes, a lamentation, through the moon-streaked forest.

Dean crouches in the dirt beside the charred remains of Cas’s coat and suit, still smoking from the blast. There’s nothing left of him–no blood, no skin, not even the usual stench of burning hair. With trembling fingers, Dean combs through the pile to retrieve Cas’s badge.

He feels a strange emptiness, hollowness in his chest. He squeezes the badge until it hurts, to make certain he’s still alive. The pain is real, and therefore so is he. He isn’t dreaming.

Sam has knelt down beside him and murmurs something. He puts a hand on Dean’s back and rubs the way you might console a child. There’s a sound Dean doesn’t recognize: a deep, horrible moan. Someone is sobbing. It takes a minute to realize it’s him.

He lets Sam console him, lets him drag Dean’s face to his shoulder.

“We should get going,” Sam says when Dean has quieted. The horizon is beginning to burn with morning. Sam walks toward it. Wordlessly, Dean stands up to follow. His eyes are dry. He gives a final glance to the ashes and gasps to find they’re being watched.

A small black and white cat, frozen above the coat in mid-sniff, stares at him. Dean stares back. The cat is missing a tail but appears in good health. It sits beside the pile, keeping its eyes on Dean, and when it tilts its head, some part of him just knows.


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