why are you not talking to me

what really fucked my up about 13 reasons why was alex.

in the ambulance scene, when they say it was a 17 years old boy with a gunshot in the head, i thought it was clay, i thought it was justin, i thought it was bryce… but alex never occurred to me

and yet, he gave all the signs. the way that he talked about jessica being the only good thing in his life, the pool, the fact that he didn’t care about being beaten, that relationship with his father, he said he had no plans for the future, he wouldn’t mind to give all the truth away, the guilt…

it was all there. and yet, i didn’t see it. 

the show is about suicide. the show is about how we should be able to identify its signs. i was angry because none could see what hannah was going through and how they didn’t see it coming. and yet, i didn’t see it coming neither.

this fucks me up really hard.

anonymous asked:

I'm really happy to see you enjoyed the episode. I kind of hated it myself. Or at least the Emma parts. Im disappointed in her writing, and I was wondering how you see it?

The way I see it is Emma has a long history with abandonment. Like an entire life’s worth of it. And the one person she’s finally certain would never abandon her suddenly ups and leaves? After she told him to basically go until he could be who she needed him to be? It’s her ugly history of ‘not being worthy for anyone’ rearing it’s ugly head… and what’s interesting is Gideon was ready for this. He literally used Emma’s biggest weakness against her (while exploiting Killian’s last episode).

You know how even the littlest, seemingly innocuous things can set off someone’s long history with trauma (and abandonment is a trauma - one I know all too well, honestly. A big portion of my own emotional problems stem from that)? The argument between Captain Swan might not has seemed like much, but we know it upset Emma and then Killian’s just gone afterwards? No indication of where he was going, with multiple people having seen him at the docks ready to leave? That’s gonna trigger Emma’s abandonment issues. That’s gonna bring her walls right up.

You wanna know what I think was a perfect indication that she was projecting all these feelings onto this one seemingly ‘minor’ fight they had? The instant she heard Killian’s voice, her walls came down. She didn’t doubt what he was saying. She trusted him right off the start that he hadn’t meant to leave and that he never would. Because she knows that. Only her lifetime of being left behind and not being good enough clouded that and made her react in a way that might have seemed unfair to Killian. Trauma and a long history of something causing you to feel lesser than good enough is insidious. 

That’s how I look at Emma all this episode and why her reaction to the situation didn’t bother me… I hope my explanation helps a little? I’m sorry you were disappointed with how she was portrayed.

6

i remember watching this episode for the first time thinking it’d be really good because of the fact that it started with true american but then it ended with my heart being ripped out so, what’s good, new girl writers? wanna repair my heart in these upcoming episodes?

  • Me: *walking through grocery store for a few very specific items because I'm broke af*
  • Me: *walks past very expensive pomegranates*
  • Tiny nudge in my brain: "Buy them. Buy one now."
  • Me: "Persephone, no."

I’m so baffled right now.

Someone recently bought something from me and asked how long the item gonna reach their place and if I offer express shipping. I said no and it might take 1-2 weeks to reach their place.

They were shocked and asked where the hell I live. I told them the answer and that they should’ve known that if they check my store FAQ carefully. I ended up getting lectured that my reply was ‘curt’ and that they’re a busy person and have 5 children with a husband working for Disney and I’m just ??????

To all my overachievers who don’t get praise from parents and loved ones anymore because it’s just expected of you to do well: I’m proud that you passed that test, I’m happy you graduated with honors, I love that you try your hardest all the time.

I know sometimes the lack of support and encouragement from those whose opinions matter the most to you can be disheartening, but keep pushing through and being the amazing person you are.

I love how the whole squad is all silent and tense after Elias called Sana slave woman. I love how Elias immediately apologises. I love how disapproving the guys are.

Where are you?

I want someone.
I want someone that I can just collapse on.
Whether it in laughter or sobs.
I want someone I can tell all my secrets to.
The dark and the light.
I want someone who I can stay up with and just talk.
All day or all night.
I want someone who knows when I need them
And knows when I need space.
I want someone who’s laugh can get me drunk.
On love or happiness.
I want someone who understands I need to unleash
And just explode.
I want someone who can read me like an open book.
Even when I’ve locked myself in a cage.
I want someone to cuddle with.
On rainy days and late mornings.
I want someone who I can make me forget who I am.
And only exist with them.
I want someone who I can loose track of time with.
If I’m with them, I’m never late.
I want someone who I can love.
Unconditionally and always.
I want someone.