why are you even this handsome

First of all,

No one interviewed Lisa!!!!!! Are you kidding?!?!??

And second of all, why was Herman not in any of the group photos???? I mean, the actor for Nikolai was in a group picture and in the stream you could see Herman standing RIGHT NEXT TO THE BOY SQUAD and even then, he could’ve taken a picture with Carl and Rakel????? Why are my babies being left out like this??

DID YOU SEE HOW GOOD LISA LOOKED???? HOLY MOLY SHE LOOKED SO INCREDIBLE! And Herman looked so handsome???? Why???

Is this Julie holding back because she’s given us so much Eva and Chris content this week?

Context: I’m a new DM playing with a small group of veteran D&Ders (consisting of a high-elf Ranger, a Dragonborn warrior and literal cat? cleric), and they suggested that we do a small series of one-offs to get me used to being a DM. We’re in our third one, which is based off the C'thulhu mythos, and they’re about to face off with Nyarlathotep when this happens.

Me: Okay, you find your way to Nyarlathotep’s chapel and as you enter, you hear his voice in your head saying, “Ah, my sacrifices have arrived.”

Ranger: What does he look like?

Me: Knowledge check that.

Ranger: *rolls an 18*

Me: You remember he is described as a tall, swarthy, sinister man, looking as if he had just walked out of Egypt. Dark skin, dark eyes, well built; he looks like a Pharaoh that walked straight out of the past.

Warrior: I roll to seduce!

Me: Excuse me?

Warrior: I roll to seduce the handsome Egyptian-Eldritch god.

Me: … I don’t even know why I’m allowing this but okay.

Warrior: *rolls a nat20*

I’m just staring in disbelief at this point, and everyone else is laughing.

Me: Okay, fine. Nyarlethotep pauses and considers, then grabs you and stuffs a tentacle down your throat and into your stomach, placing something, probably an egg of some sort, there before tossing you back down. Congratulations, you are now pregnant with the Dunwich horror. In about a month, it’ll eat through your stomach and probably you before bringing chaos upon the world.

Now its his turn to stare, and I’m just like, “What?”

Cleric(OOC): Wait, what? His character’s a dude!

Me: The forces of chaos care nothing about your insignificant human gender binary.

You know something I really appreciate about Zevran? His repeated asking and checking that the warden consents to everything in their relationship. Even from the earliest stages, where he’s just admitting he finds the warden attractive:

[pictured: a quote from Dragon Age Origins from Zevran: “I fancy many things. I fancy things that are beautiful and things that are strong. I fancy things that are dangerous and exciting. Would you be offended if I said I fancied you?]

In asking if it offends, he gives the warden the opportunity to say “your flirting/advances make me uncomfortable” and willingly accepts it.

[pictured: several quotes from Dragon Age Origins from Zevran -
1. “But a beautiful woman like yourself? Why not? I am sure you draw many stares from men and even other women. Does this bother you?
2. “But you would prefer I desisted perhaps? It would be difficult […] but I am nothing if not a gentleman”
3. “But a handsome man like yourself? Why not? I am sure you are a man who draws many stares from women and other men alike. Does this bother you?”
4. “But if you would rather I desisted, I shall do so. I’ve no wish to make you uncomfortable”]

When you question him on why he stares/gazes at the warden on a frequent basis, he explains and then gives the warden the opportunity to say “yes, this makes me uncomfortable, please stop”

[pictured: a quote from Dragon Age Origins from Zevran - “A willing victim it is. And if I might ask, if the opportunity to proceed past the massage should present itself…?”]

And even when he’s obviously asking the warden to sleep with him, he still checks the warden is certain of what they’re getting into and what they want (and if the case may be they just want a massage, he accepts it).

Everyone dismisses Zevran as a casual romance, whose only in it for the sex and cares for little else, but its obvious that he has a great respect for everyone, and is willing to understand and accept boundaries, regardless of how he may feel about it and I really really appreciate that there is a character who so frequently checks on the warden’s feelings and consent.

fake dating! zimbits

It was only by a stroke of luck that Jack happened to look at his phone just as he exits the lecture hall. The group chat was blowing up – the group chat was always blowing up these days – but the lack of all-caps or exclamation marks caught his attention right away.

Eric Bittle: Guys, I wouldn’t ask this of y’all if I really didn’t need this, but I have to ask a HUGE favor of one of you.

Shitty Knight: brah are you dying

Justin Oluransi: You can have my kidney, Bits.

Adam Birkholtz: u aren’t gonna save that for me just in CASE, JUSTIN?

Larissa Duan: shit, bitty, r u ok

Eric Bittle: Um, yeah, mostly, I just…..need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend.

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→ plums & melons | 01

Originally posted by trash-for-bangtan

pairing → Jimin x Reader

☆ genre  →  smut, slight humor, drama || brother’s best friend!au 

warnings   → public indecency, dirty talk, a lot of teasing, jimin’s porn preferences, and boobs

☆ word count   → 6.3k

The long time running game between you and your brother’s best friend started when you noticed his fascination with boobs—yours specifically. It was never supposed to amount to more than harmless flirting and lingering glances, but now, one year later, Jimin was ready to change that.

alternatively: Jimin and you play a game. the loser is fucked. metaphorically. literally. all the above??

☆ a/n → i had to split this into 2 parts rip (& in this work of fiction, jimin’s penis isn’t a jelly bean) happy 3 months !!

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Angel in the Darkness (M)

Originally posted by jungkook-gifs

Summary: After a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. Little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (ft. Jin, but not romantically)

Genre: Smut (M), angst, mafia!au, prostitution!au 

Word Count: 5,468

A/N: This is a dark and filthy story! Graphic descriptions of sex (masturbating, etc), heavy dom/sub undertones, drug use, vulgar language use……(alot of smut comes in later) This is a mature read! You have been warned!

 part 2



Your mother told you that there was a purpose for what everyone does. That there is always a reason for someone’s actions; whether it was bad or good. If it was a good action, the individual has learned the most rewarding path to handle situations; regardless if it was easy or not. If it was a bad action, the person could reflect on it, and with guidance, they will learn the right way toward dealing with obstacles. And to this day, that is how you viewed life. If you handled something well, you would be rewarded in the future, if you handled it poorly, you would need to reflect on why you did such a thing, till you find the right path. With these beliefs, you always wanted to find the ‘purpose’ of an individual’s actions, and help them find the right way. So that’s how you ended up working at a rehab centre; helping mentally to find the root cause of someone’s poor actions, and leading them to a better future.

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Smitten
  • Jungkook: "Jimin is so sexy" "Hyung you're too much 😖" "ah! Jiminnie!!!!"
  • Yoongi: "All I see is Hoseok" "Hobi-ah, isn't that too sexy? 😖" "J- hoooooooooooooope!"
  • Jungkook: *poker face*
  • Jimin: *Does something cute*
  • Jungkook: 💖😆😍💖
  • Yoongi: *Poker face*
  • Hoseok: *Says anything*
  • Yoongi: ❤😆😍❤
  • Jungkook: "Jimin is my all nighter buddy"
  • Yoongi: "Hoseok is my soul partner"
  • Jungkook: *to jimin* "You're beautiful even without makeup"
  • Yoongi: *to Hoseok* "I like your bareface best"
  • Jungkook: *about Jimin* "Hyung is really good at dancing*
  • Yoongi: *about Hoseok* "Hobi is a really talented dancer"
  • Jungkook: "Jimin steals the show"
  • Yoongi: "Its all about Hoseok"
  • Jungkook: *plays "lie" every chance he gets*
  • Yoongi: *Promotes "MaMa" every chance he gets*
  • Jungkook: *To Jimin* " Why is Jimin hyung is so handsome"
  • Yoongi: *To Hoseok* "Hey you, handsome guy!"
  • Fan: What is Jimin to you?
  • Jungkook: My honey
  • Fan: What is Hoseok to you?
  • Yoongi: My power source
Rent-a-Boyfriend™

Words: 12k
Genre: Extreme fluff for all you bitter people out there (me being included)
Read the sequel drabble: here
Read more at Service Series 

Cr.

Are YOU lonely? Need someone to cuddle at night? Do you want love?

If you said ‘yes’ to any of the questions previously mentioned then we have a service for you!

Don’t be alone for this Valentine’s Day!

Come Rent a Boyfriend!™

(terms and conditions may apply. we are not responsible for any emotional or sentimental damages. please take caution with rent-a-boyfriend).

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During Jack and Bitty’s 2nd summer together...

So Jack is in Georgia for a couple of days, right, and he comes back from a morning run to find both Bittle parents in the kitchen eating breakfast (Bitty slowly dragging is ass out of bed, he can hear the bathroom upstairs). 

Suzanne greets him with a smile, Coach with a nod, Jack sits down to eat. Usually, there’s a fair amount of chatter- even without Bitty- because Jack is comfortable with both parents, but now they’re eating in silence. Throwing furtive glances at Jack. At each other. At Jack again.

Jack’s stars feeling the tingle in his fingers that announces his anxiety. He counts the seconds until Bitty leaves the bathroom- no, that was the sound of the shower. Alright then.

Suzanne places her mug back on the table.

- Jack, sweetheart, we need to talk to you.

Coach takes a sip of coffee and sits back straight.

- …Alright? says Jack.

- We’ve seen the way you look at Junior, says Coach in a matter-of-fact voice.


(more under the cut)

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Parent: What sound does a bunny make?

Child: Irumen Jungkook!

Parent: No.

Child: Chong Jojun Balsa!

Parent: Wrong, let’s try another one-

Child: Wait I got it this time.

Parent: Go on.

Child: The sound that a bunny makes is the sound of a 19/20 year old male making fun of his older brother for being too short.

Parent: No. Next one, what sound does a horse make?

Child: Hobi, Hobi, Hobi.

Parent: No.

Child: A horse makes a screaming sound from being too excited.

Parent: That’s still incorrect.

Child: I don’t like snakeu

Parent: Nope.

Child: Don’t touch my faceu.

Parent: No. Next question, how the sun is how many years old?

Child: 23, well 24 Korean age.

Parent: Where are you getting these from? Anyways, what kind of animal is a turtle.

Child: A turtle is an animal that sleeps all the time because he works hard, and he doesn’t like to do hard physical activity.

Parent: That’s slightly right. Now what sounds does a turtle make?

Child: Infires man!

Parent: No.

Child: ARMY!

Parent: Still wrong.

Child: J Hoooooope!

Parent: Stop. We’re moving on to the next one.

Child: Wait I’m not done yet.

Parent: ….

Child: A turtle makes the sound of a 23/24 year old man sending people to Hong Kong with his flexible tongue technology.

Parent: Why do you know that? Anyways next one: What sound does a koala make?

Child: Jeon Jungkook!

Parent: *sighs* Wrong.

Child: I was born in Busan first!

Parent: No.

Child: I’ve ate 2,130 more bowls of rice than you!

Parent: Can a Koala even eat rice? One more time and we’re moving on to the last three.

Child: A koala makes the sound of a 22 year old male being mad that his little brother and his elder brothers keeps making fun of his height.

Parent: Why are you like this? Alright next one. What sound does an alpaca make?

Child: An alpaca makes the sound of a 24/25 year old male going on and on about how handsome he is.

Parent: Still wrong. Next one, what sound does a lion makes?

Child: Turn up!

Parent: No.

Child: What’s poppin’

Parent: Still wrong.

Child: My name is V.

Parent: No. Last one, what sound does a monster makes when he catches you?

Child: My name is R.A.P Monster, not D.A.N.C.E Monster.

Parent: No.

Child: Jimin, you got no jams.

Parent: Leave.

It’s Not Gonna Suck Itself

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1,290

Summary: The reader sends a naughty text to the wrong person.


“What the…no way, dude!” Jared bursts out laughing, practically falling off of his leather chair.

“What?” Jensen asks with furrowed brows, wondering if it’s worth getting up from the couch.

“Wow. I can’t believe she sent me this.” Jared grins widely, glancing back down at the text from you.

“Sent what? Who?”

Jensen grows impatient, his best friend still hasn’t answered him and it’s annoying as hell. He sighs dramatically then moves towards Jared, waiting for an answer.

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like real people do p.3 | jeon jungkook

summary: the feelings for your friends with benefits are changing. months pass, and you feel your gut telling you that you want more. you’re just not sure if he feels the same.

college student!reader, friends with benefits!jungkook

piece 1, piece 2, piece 3

this component is based off 6LACK’s ‘Prblms’

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Finding you

Originally posted by taesscripts

Words: 5992

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut

It has pretty much everything but there is a point where there will be smut so if you don’t fancy something like that you can just skip the part.

Description: Your cousin gave you a gift. It’s a pen, a pen that whatever you write upon your skin with it will also appear on your soulmate’s. Silly stuff, how can what you write with a stupid pen appear on your soulmate’s skin?

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Body Language (One Shot)

A/N: This was a request from @ihavetwobuckystomyname a very long time ago, and I’m super sorry that this took so long to write, hun! I hope you enjoy it! There’s a song that goes to this as well and it’s right here if you wanna listen!

Body Language - Reader and Bucky have been in a relationship for a while, and she’s ready to take the relationship to the next level. But Reader has a small problem: she’s deaf. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Deaf Reader 

Warnings: Smut. Language. Slight mentions of past neglect. Bucky being adorable. NSFW!

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off limits | 03 (m)

pairing: kim seokjin x reader
genre/warnings: slight angst, smut, dirty talk, dom! Jin
words: 10,930
summary: you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

» playlist | 01 | 02 | 03 |

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