why are my cats so dumb

Selcouth

☇  hogwarts au

genre: pretty much fluff ( but maybe a lillll bit of angst??)

pairing: jimin // you

word count: 4.8k

warnings: none

Description:  “hi, you don’t know me, we’re from different houses, and i’m not exactly sure how to tell you this, but i think your cat is in love with my toad??” was all you wanted to tell him. Only it goes terribly wrong when Park Jimin mistakes you for one of his one night stands. You hope that’s the last time you’ll ever speak to him, only it’s too late. Once you’re on his radar, you won’t be able to get rid of him.

A/N: inspired by a prompt i saw floating around tumblr!! although it got reaaaaally off track and long


selcouth (adj.) - unfamiliar, rare, strange and yet marvelous

↳ 

“Agh!” you yelp, hopping backwards and scrambling for something to hold onto. You get a glimpse of a long, fluffy orange tail before it disappears under your bed. One of your house mates, Heeyeon, looks up from where she’s doing her Defense Against the Dark Arts homework.

“Why are you so loud?” she sighs, leaning back onto her hands. She watches as you slowly crouch down.

“That stupid cat is here again,” you say, frowning. Heeyeon slides off her bed and pads over to join you by yours.

“Again?” Both of you lift up the dark blue bed sheets that cover your bed, just in time to see a streak of orange fly out. You cry out, while Heeyeon fishes out her wand and flicks it. The door to your dorm slams shut, with the orange cat colliding into it.

Mreowwww,” it wails, scratching at the dark mahogany door. You wince at the noise. You’re sure there’s going to be scratch marks.

“How does it even get in here?” you mutter as both of you slowly walk towards it. You and Heeyeon decide to stop a good two feet away when the cat spins around and hisses at you, its fur bushing up.

“I swear, the poor cat is in love with your dumb toad,” Heeyeon comments, shaking her head. “Last time we found it, it was like kissing it.”

You glare at her. “Okay, it’s not exactly my toad. It’s Jungkook’s, and I’m just helping him look over it while he’s gone for Christmas.”

“Same thing,” says Heeyeon, tentatively using her wand to poke the large cat. It whips its head around and slashes at her.

“What the hell!” She scoots back, barely avoiding its claws. “Why is it so violent?”

“Well don’t poke at it, obviously.” You both watch as it continues to scratch at the door. A few moments later, the door swings open. 

Kyulkyung, your best friend since your first year at Hogwarts, screams, tripping over the orange blur as the cat streaks out of the room. She places a hand over her heart, her large brown eyes wide.

What in Merlin’s beard,” she gasps, “just happened?”

“Some cat keeps getting into the Ravenclaw common room and into our dorms,” you say, standing up from where you were crouching and patting down your robes.

“I’m seriously wondering how it gets in here, like you need to know the answer to the riddle,” adds Heeyeon. Kyulkyung’s eyebrows furrow.

“That cat seems awfully familiar,” she muses. “I feel like I’ve seen it around the corridors near Slytherin.”

Heeyeon wrinkles her nose. Back then, Slytherin and Gryffindor were mortal enemies. But now, it was your house, Ravenclaw, that absolutely despised Slytherin. Both houses were full of intelligent and clever students, causing a lot of competition. At first, it was just house points and academics, but soon it escalated to even Quidditch.

“That’s it!” Kyulkyung suddenly snaps her fingers, a triumphant look on her face. “I know whose cat that is.”

“Who?” you ask, heading back to your bed to collect your books for your next class of the day, which is Charms. Though it is Christmas break, classes still go on. They are easier though, the usual academic rigor gone since most students aren’t here. You take this chance to further your studies and learn ahead.

“The Slytherin hottie Park Jimin.”

You trip on your robes.

//

“Okay, so, how am I supposed to tell him?” Charms had just ended, and you, Kyulkyung, and Heeyeon are now entering the Dining Hall. All three of you eye the Slytherin table, eyes trained on where a certain boy is sitting with a few of his friends. You are surprised he didn’t leave for Christmas break.

Keep reading

Aizawa: I didn’t understand why people care so much for their dumb cats until I got a dumb cat myself.

Aizawa: [picks cat up]

Aizawa: I’ve only had a cat for a day and a half.

Aizawa: But if anything happened to it, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Seussical in a nutshell
  • jojo: wow nice hat
  • cat: im here now, sO USE YOUR IMAAAAGINATION
  • -
  • horton: wtf who said that. theres only a speck of dust so the logical conclusion is that a miniature person is on that speck. actually a whole lot
  • sour kangaroo: bitch you cray!!!
  • gertrude: damn that elephant fine as hell
  • -
  • dust speck: so anyway horton you were totally right; we're a lost civilization on the brink of war and we're all about to die. Who-dee-who-who-who. Also we're guilting you into being our guardian. Who-who-who.
  • -
  • cat: jojo you're going into the story whether you like it or not
  • mr. and mrs. mayor: jojo you're grounded. no more thinking.
  • jojo: fuck yall i do what i want
  • mr. and mrs mayor: well we obviously don't know how to raise a kid so we're just gonna send you off to the war
  • -
  • horton: well everyone thinks i'm crazy but that's ok because i can imagine that i'm cool
  • jojo: well my parents sent me into the military but that's ok because i can imagine that my family accepts me for who i am
  • horton: yo lmao i hear you down there lets be friends 4 ever
  • -
  • gertrude: ugh i really wanna fuck this elephant but i'm not attractive :/
  • mayzie: bitch u right. go take drugs.
  • gertrude: k. ima go ham tho
  • -
  • wickersham brothers: lmao look at this nerd with that flower. yoink that shiz
  • horton: wtf literally why would u do that there was honestly no need and now i have to search through millions of identical fucking clovers to find my tiny fren jojo
  • -
  • cat: by the way did i mention im a sadist??
  • -
  • gertrude: hey im sexy now wanna get down
  • horton: hush im picking flowers
  • -
  • mayzie: always use a condom kids. horton, watch my egg for me
  • horton: why the fuck would i do that
  • mayzie: pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease
  • horton: ok ok fine but be back in like an hour
  • mayzie: LMFAO BY BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEE YOU IN HELL!!
  • -
  • horton: well its winter now and jojo and the Whos are probably dead but i refuse to move my ass off this egg ok it is my My Child now andOH FUCK HUNTERS
  • Cat: by the way did i mention that i'm also a trickster god?
  • -
  • gertrude: oh no im too sexy to fly... sorry horton.. ur ass about to get carted off to the circus :(
  • horton: god this sucks
  • -
  • mayzie: oh hey theres a circus in town and OH SHIT ITS THE GUY I DUMPED THAT KID ON uh hey man im so happy for u... such a big success... performing in a circus!! lucky u!! anyway i gotta go right now immediately so enjoy that egg!
  • horton: Where Is Paradise
  • -
  • jojo: fuck this war im going home to think what i wanna think
  • general schmitz: kid you're walking on a minefield... literally one wrong step and your dea-- ok too late..
  • -
  • cat: oh yes HOW VERY SAD boohoohoohahahaha dont worry jojo isnt actually dead he's just trapped in a nightmare realm filled with Unspeakable Horrors
  • jojo: fuck you cat!!! you've legit been behind everything bad that's happened! why didn't i call you the fuck out earlier!
  • cat: ok damn fine i'll turn on the lights geez...
  • -
  • gertrude: hi horton great to see you again hahaha so um i got all of my Sexiness™ ripped out of my ass one by one so that i could find you (and a whole lot of other shit) but no big deal haha
  • gertrude: oh also i found your dumb clover
  • cat: oh you thought this was gonna be a happy ending right here? you thought wrong
  • sour kangaroo: BITCH WE PUTTING YOU ON TRIAL
  • judje yertle: well horton's definitely crazy and were gonna boil that clover with the dust speck on it in hot oil for literally no other reason but to prove a point
  • horton: so uh guys if you dont wanna die you should probably start screaming
  • mr and mrs mayor: well the combined forces of our entire planet had no effect so we're just gonna put all the pressure on you, jojo, our small son, who only a few moments ago we thought was dead.
  • jojo: *gibberish*
  • sour kangaroo: well i heard that shit!
  • everyone: hooray!
  • egg: henlo fatgher i am Elyphant Birb
  • horton: wtf
  • gertrude: eh, we'll make it work
  • -
  • -
  • THE END

mysilenceisamask  asked:

Supercat #18

Kara threw open the door to her apartment, barely remembering to slam it shut, stomping all the way to the dining room table. She sat down furiously, opening her laptop, hitting the call button, waiting impatiently as she chewed her lip until the video box popped up on screen.

“I’m coming,” she quickly spat before she could lose her nerve.

“You’re…what?” Cat looked at her like she had six heads.

“Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I’m coming,” she nodded, rocking a little as she crossed her arms. “To join you…in your new endeavor. Whatever that might be.”

“I see,” Cat exhaled, rubbing her temples. “And why, exactly…”

“I just can’t do it anymore,” the younger woman began to crack, eyelids filling, threatening to spill. “Alright?”

“Meaning?”

“Work for CatCo,” Kara admitted, looking anywhere but at the screen. “Be a reporter. Slave away for a person who will never give me the satisfaction of letting me know when I’ve done something right. Any of it.”

She failed to mention all of the non-work related reasons why she felt like her life was spiraling out of control.

Cat watched her closely, trying to gauge just how serious this quarter-life crisis was going to be.

“Okay,” she finally shrugged.

“That’s…wait, really?” she startled, not expecting that response. “You’re…really okay with…because you did say I would always have a job with you, wherever…”

“Yes, darling, I remember it well,” Cat replied familiarly. “I know exactly what I said, and I meant it.”

“Oh…okay. Good.”

“Except I don’t have a job for you just yet,” she continued. “My next endeavor currently consists of taking a road trip cross-country to visit with publishers, eating as many tacos as one human can reasonably consume, all while trying to write something that will be of interest to anyone other than myself and my teenage son.“ 

Keep reading

Jojo Bizarre Adventure Nicknames Part 4

Josuke Higashikata: Crazy Pompadour and his stand Hugs and Kisses

Koichi Hirose: Super Sayian Krillin and his stand Why Does Your Mom Let You Have Three Stands

Older Jotaro Kujo: I gave up smoking for eternal youth and his stand Purple Tarzan

Oldest Joseph Joestar: WHAT I NEED TO TURN UP MY HEARING AID and his stand actually pretty useful if you think about

Rohan Kishibe: Asshole and his stand Script Editor

Okuyasu Nijimura: Stupid X and his stand Fucking Scary

Reimi Sugimoto: Cute Ghost Lusts for Vengeance

Tamami Kobayashi: How Old Are You and his stand Locked Through the Heart You’re to Blame You Give Guilt A Bad Name

Toshikazu Hazamada: Band aid Punk and his stand Celebrity Impersonator

Yukako Yamagishi: Yandere Waifu and her stand L’oreal
Tonio Trussardi:
Creepy Italian and his stand Angry Tomato

Shizuka Joestar: Yes I am that baby and her stand My Social Life

Shigekiyo Yangu: Is That Hair or His Head and his stand Most Useful Yet

Aya Tsuji: Stone Cold Lover and her stand Beauty Standards

Mikitaka Hazekura: My Precious Alien Son

Yuya Fungami: Bad Tattoo and his stand Slurp Slurp

Tomoko Higashikata: Victim of the Joestar Sex Drive

Ryohei Higashikata: Grandpa Arnold

Hayato Kawajiri: Did you always spy on your parents

Shinobu Kawajiri: I’ll be your new husband you deserve better!

Keicho Nijimura: Tsundere Brother and his stand Small Soldiers

Bug-Eaten: Jotaro’s Greatest Foe and his stand Legibility Messed Up

Ken Oyanagi: You Can’t Punch Me in The Face There’s a Hole There and his stand Rock, Paper, DOOM

Stray Cat: I never understood why pets care about their dumb owners so much, but then I got one, I’ve had him for five minutes and I would kill everyone in this for him

Cheap Trick: Worst Stand Ever

Angelo: Straight Up Creepy and his stand Inside You

Toyohiro Kanedaichi: Army Dude

Superfly: Why Couldn’t It Be Fused to A House

Terunosuke Miyamoto: Origami Assassin and his stand Paper Boy

Akira Otoishi: Glam Rock and his stand Electro DJ

Yoshihiro Kira: Photobook Father and his stand Deadly Pictures

Yoshikage Kira: Deadly Bowie and his stand Furry Wrestler

anonymous asked:

Hi. Can I have a bts reaction to their S.O announcing that it is time for them to meet their babies, then they introduce them to their 2 cats. Thanks 🖒

Hi! We’re so sorry this took so long, we hope you aren’t too upset with us for having to wait this long! Thank you for being so patient nonetheless, and we hope you enjoy!  ♡

-❤ Kat & Sar 💖

Bts React To Your “Baby”

Jungkook: You and your boyfriend, Jungkook are standing outside of your apartment, about to walk in. You’re prepping him, getting him ready for your “big news”. “Jungkook, we’ve been dating for a while, 2 months to be exact. And I’ve enjoyed every second of it!” You say. Looking him in the eyes and smiling. He smiles back, warming your heart. You quickly switch back to a serious face, “So, I told you it was something big. I hope you’re ready.” He nods eagerly. You switch your gaze to the ground, “And…I hope you will still want to stick around after I tell you this.” He furrows his brows, “Hey, (Y/N)…”He puts his hand on your shoulder and looks you in the eye, “I’m sure whatever it is, it’s not as bad as you think. It would take a lot to get me to leave.” He says, chuckling slightly to reassure you. The warmth in your heart begins to spread all over. He’s so sweet. After smiling back at him, you nod your head and say, “Alright. There’s really no other way for me to say this, so I’m just going to straight up say it.” You pretend to look nervous and look back at your boyfriend, who nods at you encouragingly. You look back down, “Alright…I-I…” You pretend to take a deep breath, trying to seem convincing. “I have kids…” He raises his eyebrows and looks down, “Um…” You use all your strength to hold back your laughter, “And I want you to meet them.” He coughs a bit, “N-now?” He says. Keeping a straight face, you begin to tug on his arm to try and bring him inside. “Yes! You need to meet them…” You start to unlock your front door, “Um, (Y/N)…a-are you sure?” You unlock your door and before you turn the knob, you look back at him and say, “Of course, Jungkook. I don’t want to keep secrets anymore.” He gulps and begins to look pale as you turn your head away from him to silently laugh to yourself. You open the door, “Kids! I’m home!” The apartment remains silent, “They’re probably taking naps right now, give me a second.” You say, smiling at an anxious Jungkook. As you begin to walk away, you can hear him nervously shuffling behind you. After you leave Jungkook to shake in his shoes for a few minutes you start to make your way into the room. You emerge with two kittens in your hands, “Jungkook, I’d like for you to meet my babies!” You say, laughing uncontrollably. Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief and smiles, shaking his head. You approach Jungkook who’s doubled over with his hands on his knees, exaggerating his relief. You bring the kittens to him, “They’re both three months old.” He takes them in his arms, “So… you don’t actually have kids?” You laugh one more time, “Just these little fluff balls, Kookie. Don’t worry.”

Originally posted by officialwookkibby

Jimin:  “But! I told you earlier, I was keeping something from you.” He nods, “Yes, (Y/N). You said you’ve been hiding something from me. What is it?” You lower your head, pretending to seem disappointed when in reality you were trying to hide the smile creeping on your face. “I should’ve told you this sooner…I’m so sorry.”  He puts his hand on your shoulder and gives you a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry. I promise I won’t be upset, (Y/N)” You stifle the goofy grin trying to form on your face from his kind words. You fake sigh to yourself, “Well Jimin… I-um…” You pretend to trip over your words. He nods, urging you to continue. “Um…I… Okay, I’ll just say it!” You let out, pretending to be exasperated. “I have a baby!” You say. His eyes begin to widen and you bite your lip and lower your head, pretending to be disappointed in yourself once more. He places his hands on your shoulder, “No, no! (Y/N), it’s okay! Hey, look at me.” He places his hand under your chin, “That doesn’t change anything. Don’t feel bad!” You expected Jimin to freak out, but to your surprise, he was actually taking this very well. Smiling he says, “Do you have pictures?” Slightly surprised, you say, “O-oh!…Well, yeah! I do.” You start searching through your bag for your phone. You pull it out tap on the whole photo album dedicated to your baby. “Okay, Jimin…You sure you’re ready?” He nods in anticipation, “I the baby is so cute!” You smile once again at his excitement, “Okay…” You turn the phone to him and show him the screen, “This is my baby!” Jimin furrows his eyebrows, followed by laughter. “Well, I wasn’t wrong! The baby is very cute!” Jimin says, cooing at a picture of your cat. You smile as he scrolls through all the pictures of your beloved companion, warmth spreading through your chest.

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Taehyung: You and Taehyung were walking up the stairs to your apartment. There was a spring in each step he took. “Why are you so excited?” You ask. He giggles, “You know why!” He smiles down at you, and despite your feeling of confusion, you smiled back due to his contagious joy. He starts to quicken his pace, bounding up the fleet of stairs faster than you can handle. “Hey, wait!” You call up to Taehyung, who’s now left a large gap between you and him. “Hurry up!” He calls back. Groaning, you quicken your pace. Breathless, you met Taehyung at your front door. “Hurry, hurry! Unlock the door!” He says. You take one last breath, “Okay, okay! I’m coming!” You walk to the front door as you search for your keys in your bag. You pulled them out, and you felt him breathing down your neck, pressuring you to move faster to unlocked the door. Taehyung follows you, “Hurry! Go find her!” he says, smiling gleefully. You smile and shake your head. He must be really excited to meet her. “Alright, she’s probably in my room, let me go get her.” You say, walking down the hallway to your bedroom. “Okay!” he replies, each word coated in excitement. You disappeared down the corridor and found her curled up on your bed. You scooped her up into your arms and started your make your way back to the living room. “I found her!” you call out, reappearing in front of a now confused Taehyung. “Huh?” he mumbles, which causes you to furrow your brows. “What’s wrong?” You ask, to which he replies, “I thought you said you had a baby?” You let your cat out of your arms, as she goes up to sniff the stranger.  He happily bends down to pet her, and she jumps up onto the couch to curl up next to him. “I mean, she’s still very cute! Just, not what I expected.” He says, grinning at the ball of fluff. Your mind starts to flashback to just a few hours ago. “Yeah, and you can meet my baby!” You said, chuckling to yourself. You meant your furry baby, your cat. But of course, he took it the other way, as in a real baby. “Oh my goodness, Tae, I’m so dumb.” You sighed, taking a seat next to him. He looks up at you, “What?” You continue, “When I said you could meet my baby, I meant my cat! I have no idea why I thought you’d understand what I meant.” Taehyung laughs, still petting her. “Well, don’t worry…” He says, a smirk beginning to form on his face. He looks up at you with a sly smile, “She’ll be practice for when we have a real baby.”

Originally posted by mayfifolle

Hoseok: Laughter fills your office as you were video chatting with your boyfriend, Hoseok. As your laughter faded, you were ready to start the prank you’re about to pull on him. You pretended to grow very serious. Your boyfriend starts to look concerned, “(Y/N), what’s wrong?” He says. “I-I… I have something to tell you, Hobi.” You say. You watch the screen carefully, paying attention to his facial expression. He pouts, “You can tell me anything. You know that, right?” You lower your head to hide your smirk. Perfect. You’ve got him right where you want him. You continue, “Hobi…promise you won’t be mad?” He nods, “Of course.” You sigh, “I’ll just say it then…” You close your eyes, trying your best to seem convincing. “I have a kid!” You open one eye, peeking at the screen. Hobi’s eyes are popping out of his head in surprise. “What?!” He says. You couldn’t take it anymore, you couldn’t hold in your laughter in for one more second. So you burst with cackles at Hobi’s comical expression. His surprise transforms into confusion as he starts to hear your laughter through his speakers. “Why are you laughing?” He still hadn’t quite gotten it. Still giggling to yourself, you disappear under your desk. “My baby is right…” Hobi calls your name, and you immediately reappear. “Heeerreee!” You pulled your cat from under the desk, who’s unamused. You watch the screen and it seems Hobi isn’t either, which adds to your amusement. Trying to hide his smile, he says, “That’s not funny, (Y/N).” You only continue to cackle as you held your purring cat in your arms.

Originally posted by kookies-for-taehyung

Namjoon: You hear a crash as you begin to walk into your living room. You look around to find that glass is broken, tables and other décor are knocked over, your curtains are torn up, and you find your cat scratching up your couch. You sigh to yourself. Gosh, this boy is such a trouble maker. Suddenly, you heard a knock on the door. Oh no, not now! You went to the front door to look through the peephole to find…Namjoon. No! Not now! The house is a mess! You look back, trying to see if there was a quick fix to this mess. The knocking continues and you groan. I can’t just leave him, he’s my boyfriend. You reluctantly decide to open the door. You take a deep breath in and turn the knob. “Hey Nam!” You say, with the door slightly open. “Hey (Y/N)!” There was another crash from behind, and you flinch. “Um, is everything alright?” You rapidly nod your head, ‘Yes! Everything is fine! Don’t worry!” There was a sound of more curtains tearing from behind you. “Are you sure?” He says. “Yes-“Crash. You groan. “Okay, no.” You lower your head. “(Y/N), let me in.” He says, worried. You open the door wider, revealing the chaos behind you. “It’s nothing serious, my kid is just making a mess again.” Namjoon practically chokes, “Kid?!” You nod your head, “Yeah, my kid.” You reply, gesturing to your cat, who’s now moved on to scratching at the other chairs. “He’s such a troublemaker! He’s always breaking something!” You say, frustrated. Namjoon tilts his head to the side, “Hey! Don’t be so harsh on him! He can’t help it!” He says, defending your cat. Suddenly he approaches Namjoon and rubs his face against his leg. “Aww! Look, he likes me!” Namjoon bends down to pet your beloved little monster, to which he happily complies. “Okay, I guess this is kind of cute.” You say, smirking at the two of them.

Originally posted by rapnamu

Yoongi: You were running around the room, making sure your house was presentable. This was the first time you were inviting your new boyfriend, Yoongi, over to your house since the two of you started dating. Pacing around, you were double checking to make sure there weren’t any messes you missed and that everything was ready to go. Snacks, blankets, the movie is all set up… You went through your mental checklist. As you were wandering back and forth through the living room, your cat was sprawled on the couch and observing. You stopped and looked down at her, “Well, I think that’s everything!” As if on cue, you then heard a knock on the door. “Perfect timing.” You said aloud for only your furry companion to hear. You walked over to open the door and greet Yoongi. You both smiled and hugged each other. “Hey! So everything’s all set, but before we start the movie, I have someone I want you to meet.” You say after pulling away from the hug. Yoongi scrunches his brows together slightly. “Who else are you living with? I didn’t know you had a roommate.” You giggled as he began to jump to conclusions. You take Yoongi’s hand in yours and begin to pull him through the house to the living room, “No, no. She’s not a roommate. She’s a…baby! She’s my baby!” You say, hoping to give Yoongi a little scare. “A baby! You never mentioned a baby!” He says, his voice becoming higher. You laugh, “Just follow me!”  The two of you reached the living room, and you brought Yoongi to the couch. You hold your hands out to present Yoongi your cat, who hasn’t changed position from earlier. “See! My baby!” Yoongi laughs as he rolls his eyes, “I should’ve known you didn’t actually have a kid yet.” He says. Yoongi lowers himself onto the couch, “Let’s hope she doesn’t mind me sitting here.” She starts to curl up next to Yoongi, “Aw! Look Yoongi, she likes you!” He stares down at the ball of fluff beside him, “Eh, I’ve always preferred dogs.” He says, shrugging his shoulders. You lightly hit his shoulder, and he laughs. “Yoongi, shut up! You know you want to pet her!” He takes another look at her beside him and starts to stroke her fur. He pretends to not like it, shifting his gaze to the TV. But you know better. You know Yoongi is actually enjoying being able to bond with her, and you smile at the heartwarming sight in front of you.

Originally posted by dreamyoongi

(idk why this gif fits it just does ok)

Seokjin: “(Y/N), what are you trying to say?” You bite your lip, averting your eyes from him. “What I’m trying to say is…I have a baby, Jin…” He looked shocked. He wasn’t speaking so you continued, “…and I want you to meet him.” Jin swallowed, and looked down, “Um…” You assumed he couldn’t see you, so you smiled. Ha! This is going great! He looked up and you immediately wiped the smile off your face and tried your best to be serious again. Jin paused again then says, “You know what…Sure, I’d love to meet him.” Jin says, giving you a warm smile. Alright, perfect! Everything is going according to plan. You gave him the most sincere smile you could fake, “I’m so glad to hear that. How about now?” Jin nods and stands up from his seat in the restaurant you two were in, “Sounds good. Let’s go.” The two of you head to your house. On the way there, he asks all kinds of questions. You didn’t have to necessarily lie about the answers, “When was he born?” “How old is he?” you were able to even give him a legitimate answer to, “What’s his name?” you looked over at him in the driver’s seat, “Dakota.” You responded. Jin nods, fixating his eyes on the road once more. You couldn’t help but wonder why he was asking so many questions, but you decided to brush it off when you realized you were almost home. When you finally reached your house, you grew antsy. I can’t wait to see his reaction! “So is anyone else home?” he says. Without thinking, you immediately respond with a no. “Is he just home alone!?” Jin says, concerned. You hesitated for a second, “Uh…” The two of you stare at each other, Jin looking very confused. Oh my goodness what have I done. Think, think! “U-uh…no, no! That’s not what I meant! When I said that there wasn’t anyone else here, I meant besides the babysitter! Of course there’s a babysitter, Jin!” You say, laughing. You try to turn it on him, “You really think I would just leave a baby by themselves?” You ask, raising your eyebrows. He holds up his hands in defense, “Hey! I just thought it sounded a bit weird, you know?” He says. You shake your head smiling, trying to hide the fact that you almost ruined the entire prank. I just got to get him inside, then it’ll all work out. You start to search for your keys in your bag. After some searching, you begin to panic. Where are my keys? Jin starts to take notice, “Everything alright?” You take your bag off your shoulder so you can start digging through it some more, “Um…yeah…” You search some more, “You sure?” You nod your head. Oh my god this is the worst time for this to happen. Why is this happening!? “Can you not find your keys?” Jin asks. You sigh, “Yeah… there’s a spare under the-“Jin interrupts, “Why not just ring the doorbell? The babysitter can answer.” You freeze. Crap. You look at Jin, “Um…T-the baby…Dakota might be asleep! I don’t want to ring the doorbell, it’ll wake him!” Jin scrunches his eyebrows, “O-okay…” ugh. This prank is a disaster. “I’ll go get the spare key…wait here.” Jin nods and you make your way to the backyard to find the spare key under the mat. You make your way back to the front door where Jin is, “Got it.” You unlock the door and enter the house with Jin following close behind you. “So…where’s the cat?” You whip your head around, shocked, “What?!” Jin starts to burst out laughing. “Jin! How did you know?!” you say in disbelief. “(Y/N)! You aren’t good at lying!” Jin says through his laughing fit. His chuckles die down and he says, “I’ll admit when you first said it at the restaurant, I believed you for a split second. But then I saw you smile when you thought I wasn’t looking, and I knew something was up!” You think back and realize the moment he was talking about. You sigh, disappointed. Jin continues to explain, “Then on the way there, I kept asking you questions about it. I was thinking back to when we first met, and I remembered you really quickly mentioning something about a cat! It was short and I didn’t ask any questions about it, which is probably why you don’t remember telling me.” Your eyes widen when what Jin said hits you, “Ahhh! I remember that, ugh! How could I have forgotten!” you say, shaking your head. Jin laughs again, “Then the whole babysitter thing confirmed it. After that, I was just messing with you at that point.” Jin laughs and starts teasing you. You sigh once more, “Man. I really thought I could get away with it.” Jin tilts his head, “Aww. Sorry (Y/N)! Jin is just too smart for you!” he says, laughing triumphantly. You punch him on his arm, “Shush!” Jin hums with a feeling of success. He then starts to look around, “Well, where is he?” You look back up at him and he says, “I still want to meet the little guy!”

Originally posted by bwiseoks

6

    the grumpy cat and her blond baes who’ll fly foot-/fist-first into a fight to protect her

Slowly beginning to doubt that Yang and Sun aren’t just not-so-secretly the exact same person.

The Angel and The Prophet

Summary: Reader is a prophet and has eyes for her trench coat wearing guardian angel

Characters: Castiel x Reader, Dean

Word Count: 2803

Warning: Language, Fluff, SMUT, bondage I guess, NSFW

A/N: @arcturuz requested Cas smut and here it is! Special thanks to @sofreddie for talking through the idea with me :) Quite nervous about this one, never written for Cas, so I hope I just do the angelic stud justice! Fingers crossed!
Also! Absolutely mind blown by the reception on This Means War, thankyou so much for the love, it’s honestly made my weekend.

Check out my Masterlist if ya want!

Castiel taglist from @spnfanficpond . Let me know if you want to be added/removed from future fics!

Dear Diary…or whatever

You’re new so…Hi! Never written a diary before, but there are things going down in my life that has just GOT to be recorded.

Where do I start? This has been the craziest couple of months I’m not sure if I’m dreaming in all honesty. We’ll go from the top I guess.

I’m walking home from work one night, cutting through the park. This crazy storm just seems to start and it’s like it’s following me. I’m jogging along, very wary that I’m in a wide open space but I can see my apartment block so I just decide to make a break for it. Then I hear this loud crash and I black out. Somewhere in this black out I had a dream. Two guys, proper lumberjack lookalikes with all the plaid, driving along in this sweet ass car, talking some crazy shit. Demons and monsters and something about vessels for Michael and Lucifer? Stopping the apocalypse? Real bat shit stuff.

Keep reading

My funny patronus story:

A couple of days ago I did a meditation to find my patronus. I was distracted during the whole thing. As I got to the reveal, for a split second, I saw a fox but promptly sent it out of my meditation for being too mainstream ( dumb, I know, but like I said the meditation wasn’t going so well. I didn’t believe I would have something so cool-I felt like I’d have something sort of lame, don’t ask me why). Anyway, I had the audacity to send it out and tell it to try again . It came back morphing awkwardly from one nondescript forest critter to another. I gave up and tried again later. I saw a house cat on my next attempt but figured I was sort of seeing what I was familiar with rather than what my patronus really was. The next day, I pull into my parking space at work and what do I see but a beautiful fox sitting in front of me. I get out of my car to watch her and she’s all chill, taking her time sniffing about and making her way around the building when I see a fat tabby cat stalking the fox! Folks, I kid you not, I watched open mouthed as the tabby cat chased the fox away! WTF?!! None of my co-workers believed me. I could barely believe it myself! Needless to say, I’m happy to embrace both the fox and house cat. 

i have this dumb headcanon that polydactyl cats run in shadowclan [namely blackstar obviously] but like, its just sort of a known thing in other clans like “oh yeah those shadowclan cats have extra toes”

and one time in the dark forest, darkstripe’s invasive ass walked over to brokenstar and just STARED at his paws, even tried to touch them

“what the hell are you doing. get away from my paws why are you touching me.”

“im trying to find one of your secret toes”

“my WHAT”

“tigerstar said that you had a lot of toes so im just looking”

The Whining Over "Yandere-chan's Childhood."

So I just woke up and saw Yandere Dev’s latest video highlighting Yandere-chan’s childhood. This post isn’t really about the video itself, because I thought the video was really well done, but more on the “”“”“"controversy”“”“”“ surrounding it. There are huge quotes surrounding controversy because what people are complaining about right now so stupid it shouldn’t even be controversial.

In an 8 minute and 16 second video, the thing that has people so upset, was a 5 second scene of Yan-chan killing a freaking cat. This leaves me confused and quite frankly terrified. The comment section to that video was radiating cancer. In a game where Yan-chan murders and manipulates other human beings in the most horrible ways possible…. people are mad over a cat??? But for some reason are not mad over the inhuman killings of other human beings? I saw people talking about how they’d rather see other people get killed, than ONE damn cat. One person said they’d rather see a baby get killed than *ONE* goddamm cat. Slowly losing faith in humanity one dumb comment at a time. :)

I understand being upset over a cat being killed. It’s ok to feel sad over an animal dying. Really I do, but….seriously people, grow the hell up! If you’re upset over a cat being killed in a game where mass murder is an acceptable route to take, you’re obviously not mature enough for Yandere Simulator. I just needed to rant because this is really ridiculous. And this happened before too. Remember when Yandere Dev wanted to implement cat-killing to cover up the scent of a dead body so police dogs couldn’t smell it? People were losing their minds! Even though, this was an optional choice to make and no one was going to be forced to do this. Over something so miniscule. Yandere-chan: *kills people* People: “That’s cool.” Yandere-chan: *Kills one dumb freaking cat* People: “ToO eDgY!” Oh, so NOW it’s too edgy? And people honestly wonder why they get called “whiney SJWs.” Ironically, it’s what i’m doing now. Whining and complaining. But to be fair, I feel like what i’m complaining about is more important. I don’t know how someone can actually put the life of an animal above the life another human being. As much as I love and care for animals, I wouldnt even put them on the same level! And before someone screeches, “ It’S mY oPiNiOn!!!!” (Which is the refute people always use when they don’t like having their ideas challenged)

I know that already…. I’m not trying to dispute that. But freedom of speech works both ways. You cant have your cake and eat it too. You can say whatever the hell you want, and I can tell you how shitty your opinion is. That’s how freedom of speech works. No one’s trying to silence your shitty opinions.

Thanks for reading. :3 From: A whiney SJW Prick

anonymous asked:

Hi! Just wanted to ask if you're ever going to do another aspects of a domestic cat in black? I didn't have money when you did it first and I'd like it to match my domestic boy print I'm getting😊❤ It's ok of not! I'm just not fan of the blue

there’s still 25 left in stock for the blue variant - I won’t print any more until those are gone

the blue definitely has a different personality, so I can understand why you’d prefer one over the other!

anonymous asked:

jimon 'you have the cutest nose'

also requested by @sleeptalkingatnight😊

word count: 1625

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Simon snores in his sleep. He’s done it his whole life, but it hasn’t been an issue until recently.

Jace and Simon have been dating for over two years. After the first year, they moved in together. Now they’ve spent an entire year living together, which includes sharing a bed at night.

Jace has always known that Simon is a snorer. He knew it long before they moved in together and even now that they share a bed, it hasn’t bothered him at all. On the contrary, he quite likes it.

Simon doesn’t snore in an aggressive or loud way. Instead he sounds more like a cat snoring. Jace often finds himself unable to fall asleep without Simon’s gentle snoring next to him.

Which turns into an issue when Simon finds out about his little nighttime hobby.

Keep reading

Wrong Number

.

Author Ladyoftheteaandblood

Fluffy oneshot Tom and OC

I can’t tell you how annoying it is to have to change your bloody mobile phone number. All the texting people with 

“Hi it’s Megan, this is my new number” and the texts back

 “Who?” All the explaining and shit, as to the why, you did it.
Anyway it’s done now and the reason I had to do it, may just have fallen off a cliff!
What I wasn’t prepared for was weird texts from unknown person, which started the day after I got it.
“Hi so bloody bored can I come home now?”
I ignored the first one and let it pass; some poor sod texting away had hit a wrong number. Two hours later the next one came in,
“Shit, if I’m asked one more time how a guy from England can play a guy from  America, I will have to kill someone, somebody please ask me something new”
Again I ignored it, strange person would work it out when they had no reply. Five hours later and late at night
“Hey you ignoring me, have I upset you?”
This time I felt I should answer it seemed mean not to,
“Hi you are texting the wrong number, I have no idea who you are” send
“OK what did I do this time” came the reply

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

silly question- why do you think children are first "sexually" attracted to characters that are animals or half animals? i know it sounds dumb, but so many of my friends say they had a crush on the disney robin hood fox or the cat captain lady from treasure planet (in my case) or something like that? we can't all be furries :,)

That’s an interesting question, and no, I don’t think it has anything to do with furries. Stories are an incredible learning tool for us as children–they help us learn social norms, life lessons, and values. Across all cultures, the stories we tell and the narratives we see and read shape us as people. It’s a vital part of the human experience!

That said, a lot of children’s stories feature anthropomorphic animals that are meant to be audience surrogates or are meant to stand for people and ideals in our lives. Like in Robin Hood–yes, he’s a fox, but he’s also meant to represent a heroic ideal that fights for justice and those who are in need, and also is shown to care about his love interest. It makes sense that kids who are learning lessons about what makes a good partner (which, they are, they are constantly taking in societal values) might feel that such a character would have some of the personality traits of a good partner, or personality traits they would like to see in themselves. Likewise with the Captain from Treasure Planet–she is a strong and confident woman that is shown to be honest and to strive to do the right thing–those are definitely good traits! 

Now, does that mean that kids are actually attracted to the idea of an anthropomorphic animal in real life? No, it means that they see themselves and the values that matter to them in the media they consume. I know that some of my literary icons from my childhood inform the traits that I value in myself and in potential partners, though that doesn’t mean I am necessarily attracted to a character that exists solely on the page of a book. 

REASONS WHY I LOVE MAYA’S DUMB SON HAMATO SEBASTIANO

  • roasts the shit outta anyone within sight and out of sight
  • hes so fuckin smart. this kid makes his own battle proof crutches and repairs things like his own dAMN CRUTCHES
  • loves his cat more than life itself g od
  • honestly he has too many emotions so he bottles it up so much until someone triggers it and then no one is safe from it. hes got so much anger and bitterness from his family not treating him like and equal and babying him
    -basically the other ‘smol n angry’
  • likes shrimp despite being allergic to it
  • needs a hug but wont admit it
  • “i can handle myself!” *gets his leg snapped in half “im fine”
  • being an optimistic as hell baby who just wanted some attention even from his elder brother (who didnt like him at the time but more on that another day)
  • will grab onto your legs and be dragged just so he doesnt have to get up
  • trash child
  • he can!!!! shoot a bow and arrow pretty well!!! 
  • paralyzing darts he made himself
  • too much salt for one body
  • hates crying
  • hates making leo cry
  • thinks everything is his fault when its not all the time
  • little leo accidentally hurting tot seb and seb saying that he fell and not ratting leo out like a NORMAL KID
  • hates legwarmers
  • loves leos captain ryan sweater but he hardly gets to see it (leo: ”touch it again, and its going on ‘The Shelf Only Donnie Can Reach’” seb: “rip super soaker”)
  • went from hanging around leo who didnt want him around much (as toddlers) to being alone while leo wants to make sure hes okay and hang out (teenagers(angsty lil boys jfc)
  • ‘handles his inner problems by channeling his brother’s methods’ -maya

anyways i just……. love this kid so much. hes such a good bean who tries super hard and i love him and his dumb ass.

Baby Fever

“What’s wrong?” Derek asked, sidling up beside Stiles on the back deck, overlooking Lydia’s perfectly manicured yard.

“Nothing, it’s just, I saw Isaac painting the nursery for Lydia and Parrish, and he was so delicate with the stenciling,” Stiles said with a shrug. “It’s dumb.”

“When are you going to start calling him Jordan?”

“When he stops being my dad’s deputy,” Stiles replied. Derek rolled his eyes.  

“So why does Isaac painting a nursery upset you?”

“It doesn’t upset me per se. It just, I’m going to sound like a dick, but I want that. I want a nursery to paint, but Isaac doesn’t want kids.”

“He has a good reason to,” Derek reminded him.  

“I know, and that’s why I sound like a dick. We can’t even agree on whether to get a cat or a dog for the house.”

“What are the arguments?”

“I said we should get a cat, because we already have the pack at the house most of the time, and then he called me a speciesist.”  

Derek laughed, a genuine laugh that Stiles was glad he got to hear now that life had calmed down and Derek was haunted as heavily as he was years ago. 

“You could just get both,” Derek offered. “If you raise them together, there’s not going to be a problem between them.”

“You make a good point, Hale. I just, I keep seeing Isaac in that nursery, painting with all of the delicacy he uses with Dot, and I want that. I want to have a family with him, but I can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do. I won’t do that to him, and I would rather have him and no kids than a gaggle of kids but no Isaac.”

Derek was quiet for a moment before he said, “get a cat, and get a dog, and raise them together like they’re your own children, because they will feel like it. In a few years, see how he feels, but prepare yourself for him to say no. Things change, and maybe Isaac’s fears will fade after raising and taking care of some non-human babies. But maybe they won’t, and you have to accept that, too.”

“Derek! We need some help in here,” Lydia called. Derek pat Stiles on the shoulder and headed back inside. Stiles stood by himself, watching the gentle breeze bending the blades of grass as it passed, and then tipped his head back to look up at the clouds.  

“Hey,” Isaac said, joining Stiles at the railing. “Derek said you wanted to talk to me.”

Stiles let out a sigh.

“He would.”

Isaac leaned into his boyfriend and touched his forehead to Stiles’ temple.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing. He just helped me figure something out. I think we should get a cat,” Stiles said and before Isaac could begin his protest continued, “and a dog. If we get them young enough, we can raise them together. Like siblings.”

Isaac raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

“What? You don’t like the idea?”

“No, it’s not that,” Isaac said with a private grin on his face. He leaned in close and whispered in Stiles’ ear, “your baby fever is showing.”

Later in the month, Stiles brought home a small marble orange and black kitten from a shelter and named him Tyrion. The next day, Isaac brought a two-month old mutt with floppy ears and a fluffy tail home and named him Ender.  

Stiles stood at the edge of what used to be the office and watched Isaac free-hand paint a park scene on the beige walls. He loved watching Isaac paint, and his heart swelled watching the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with paint a room for their kids. Okay, so their babies had four paws and ate kibble out of bowls on the floor, but Tyrion and Ender were still their babies, their responsibility. Coming home from a long day at work to Isaac and those two was the best feeling Stiles had ever had. If Isaac never felt comfortable enough to have human babies, it was okay because this was enough. This, their little family, was more than enough for Stiles.