Let’s start a new superstition
On my walk in the woods today I came across this beech tree and I almost cried.
It’s such a gorgeous old tree, with such a smooth and elegant bark. I don’t understand why anyone would carve their fucking name into it. First of all, it;’s bad for the tree - it’s the tree’s skin, and it can introduce infection and fungus into the flesh of the tree and give destructive insects a foothold.
It’s so beautiful, and I want to see it whole. Why the actual fuck would anyone find a beautiful tree like this and think, “Carving my name into it would look nice”? No. Fuck no.
So I think we should start a new superstition: Carving your name into a tree will incur loads of bad luck. Or, alternatively, the forest spirits will follow you around and torment you. Or earth witches will copy your name down and perform a mega-curse on you.