Some DA2 things that I don’t like and am done working on.
I always feel afraid to post wips or discarded illustrations, as I see very little artists do the same. I understand why: no one wants to admit defeat, especially when you’re admitting it in front of hundreds. At the same time, I don’t believe in promoting the idea that art is always easy.
Some drawings just don’t work out. I spent close to ten hours on the first one, and once it was finished I hated the result. The other two I worked on for a couple of hours and then lost all love for.
The more this happens, the more I realize it’s not a bad thing. Every hour I put into failed drawings is still an hour of drawing I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Every mistake I make is a mistake that I won’t make again.
It all comes back to the ideas of mileage and masterpieces, and how the two don’t always mean the same thing or lead to the same place. While there’s value in a finished piece, there’s even more value in the work it took to make that piece. If I can’t feel satisfied with the end result, I can at least be proud of myself for that.
Stop being a fucking pissbaby and just post the content. Your blackout is completely illogical and counter-productive - people who repost stuff will continue reposting, since they don't care. While those that care about reblogs, will not reblog, because you won't post art for two weeks. Brilliant strategy. it's the typical tumblr mindset: "I want to change the world. I know, I will sign a bullshit petition!". God, you are stupid.
….oh man, this is about to become very embarrassing for you.
first of all, i’m not even participating in the blackout nor am i organizing it so i don’t even know why the hell you’re coming to me with this. if you’ll notice i’m still reblogging art and still posting writing. which tells me that what you’re doing is going through the tag, finding anyone who’s posted about the blackout, and sending them useless asks because it’s how you get your rocks off. because apparently a harmless tumblr protest upsets you so fucking much that you have to go and insult people over it. you must have a lot of time on your hands.
if you don’t like the protest, don’t participate in it. if you think it’s not going to do any good, fine. don’t participate in it. i don’t understand why you’re so angry about people participating in a protest that doesn’t affect you. the fact that you are angry shows me that you’re entitled. either you’re a content creator who thinks that you’re entitled to the notes that the people currently protesting aren’t going to give you for two lousy weeks (which, grow up) or you’re a consumer who thinks you’re entitled to the fanart and fanfiction that people on this site post for fucking free that you will be without for two lousy weeks (which, again, grow up). there are plenty of users not participating who are still posting and still reblogging, so the fact that you feel the need to send messages like this to complain about people who are protesting for personal reasons is about the most childish thing i’ve seen all week.
and here’s another tip, hot off the press. since you’re apparently so offended by a harmless protest that doesn’t affect you, why don’t you do something that you do think will help with art theft instead of insulting people about this protest. why don’t you spread information about proper etiquette around reposting? why don’t you hold an event where people can report any stolen art they see? why don’t you write up guides for new artists/writers who don’t know how to report their stolen content?
bet that didn’t occur to you. because you’re too busy complaining about what other people are doing rather than trying to do something positive for once. because you don’t really care about art theft and you don’t really care about remedying it. you just want an excuse to insult people on anon for doing something that you don’t particularly care for. again, that is childish, entitled, rude, and proof that you really must have a lot of time on your hands.
please entertain yourself with something else. and if i see you in my inbox again, i’m blocking and reporting your ass.
“It was almost enough to distract me from noticing Azriel as those shadows lightened, and his gaze slid over Mor’s body: a red, flowing gown of chiffon accented with gold cuffs, and combs fashioned like gilded leaves swept back the waves of her unbound hair. A wisp of shadow curled around Azriel’s ear, and his eyes snapped to mine. I schooled my face into bland innocence.”
Thinking about Az because of having Thoughts with @squaddreamcourt and found this… I love Azriel’s shadows. I’m so fascinated by them. And I love moriel. And Mor. And I want to know better how they work. The shadows, that is. I know there have been some posts on this, but I’m just… going off on my own thing here. Because I searched my book for “shadows” after I decided to talk about this quote, and they are everywhere.
It was Rhys who suggested that the shadows came to Az when he was locked away:
“There was an icy rage in Azriel I had never been able to thaw. In the centuries I’d known him, he’d said little about his life, those years in his father’s keep, locked in darkness. Perhaps the shadowsinger gift had come to him then, perhaps he’d taught himself the language of shadow and wind and stone.”
It is interesting to me that Rhys wouldn’t understand where they came from (at least with 100% certainty). Is this a thing that just… happens to people? When they go through trauma?
And also this:
“Yes—Azriel, who kept a step away, whose shadows trailed him and seemed to fade in her presence.”
If his shadows came to him when he was in such a dark place… and they fade away around Mor… tbh I’m dead? Like maybe they will… disappear when he is finally FREAKING HAPPY WITH HER? Or… maybe it has something to do with her power?
(And them disappearing is not necessarily a bad thing - I also have a lot of Problems with the work he does for Rhys - honestly he’s the last person who should be torturing people, and I really think that Rhys is taking advantage of him in the sense that Az would never tell him he is uncomfortable or doesn’t want to do that work. Clearly, he throws himself into it. But he shouldn’t? And who is going to stop him? Mor tries, we’ve seen, to at least get him to take a break.)
Anyway, I’m just having some Half-Developed Thoughts™ while I grade, so… do with all of that what you will. Don’t take them too seriously.
Summary: The risk I took was calculated but man, am I
bad at math.
Warnings: angst…like to the max, character death, risking your life, all that fun stuff
Count: 1.3k (this is deadass the shortest thing i’ve ever written and it’s still over 1k lmao why am i like this)
Note: hi hello! guess who’s back and as angsty as ever! this is something that again was floating in my inspo tag and i can’t find the post rn but it is there so when it’s not midnight i’ll go digging through and tag it. ya’ll probably recognize the quote because it’s been through tumblr i don’t even know how many times? but i literally banged this out in like two hours so ??? idk???? anyways, feedback is always welcome (please do i love hearing what all of you have to say) and can i just say thank you so much for all of your lovely responses to Will You Stay? like, they were so beautiful they made my entire life like????? i love all of you so fucking much ???? i can’t even describe it????? anyways enough of my endless question marks, hope you enjoy!!!!
The first time, isn’t the last time.
The first time you risk your life it’s for a puppy. Small,
golden, scrappy little thing. It’s caught in the middle of the road, yelping
every time a car whips by. It’s flat on the ground, trying to make itself small
as possible but at the same time sticking out against the pitch black tar. You sigh
and drop your coffee into the trash before you run out in the middle of traffic
and scoop the dog up before crossing to the other side.
“You’re an idiot,” he grumbles as he stares at the trembling
mass of fur. You pout and say you’re sorry before you offer him the reason you
nearly got flattened by an eighteen wheeler. He pretends to be angry until
about five minutes later when the puppy is licking at his face.
He isn’t angry anymore, especially two weeks later when the
puppy has become a permanent fixture in your home.
The second time, isn’t the last time.
The second time you risk your life is on vacation in the
Bahamas. A little girl gets caught in the rip tide. Her arms flail as she cries
for help but is drowned by the waves. Everyone watches but no one acts. You glance
at the life guards who glance at the waves apprehensively before you roll your
eyes and dive in. It takes you a while but luckily you’re a strong swimmer and
within minutes she’s in your arms and safely on shore.
“You’re crazy,” he mutters as he rubs your back while you
cough up salt water but his eyes shine with an emotion more powerful than you
have ever seen. It only seems to grow when the little girl runs up to you and
hugs you, thanking you for saving her life.
The third time, isn’t the last time.
The third time you risk your life is on a mission in
Johannesburg. HYDRA had hit a biotech company and managed to steal information
to a bomb that could level a small country. They climb into a helicopter and
are about to get away and against Steve’s orders you jump and hang onto the
runner of the helicopter. You hang on for dear life until you touch down. Your arms
ache but you fight until you can’t feel anything anymore. But you have the
It takes them two days to find you. When they do they find
you collapsed in an alleyway, dehydrated and living off of scraps from the
nearby flea market.
“You’re so stupid,” he shakes his head. He’s angry but he
holds your head up as you drink and brushes your hair until you fall asleep on
The fourth time, isn’t the last time.
The fourth time you risk your life is in the middle of a
blizzard. It’s two in the morning and the wind is howling but when your phone
rings you answer within seconds. The line is silent except for the sound of
heavy breathing. He doesn’t say anything but you already know as you tie on
boots and don your heaviest coat.
It takes you an hour to get to him. But you do. You’re
pretty sure your car isn’t even parked properly and you’re not sure if you’re
on the road or on the sidewalk but it doesn’t matter. By the time you get to
him he’s already half way gone. You sit with him until he comes back to you.
You sit with him until his eyes are clear and his breathing is normal. You sit
with him until he’s yours again.
“You’re a moron,” he growls once his eyes look outside at
the storm raging. You wonder if it was worth it but you smile anyway because
you don’t care.
The fifth time, isn’t the last time.
The fifth time you risk your life it’s after two months of
being locked in a basement. You have bruises on top of bruises, you bleed from
different places every day and you can’t remember the last time you’ve had a
proper meal. They pull you out every day and tie you to a chair. They spit in
your face, they hit, they bite, they scratch, they punch, they shock, they twist,
they break. You beg, you scream, you cry. But you don’t give them what they
want. They want him but you can’t give them that. He’s everything to you and
meaningless to them.
One day you’re bleeding so bad everything is tainted red and
you can’t feel part of your face and can’t hear out of one ear. When you feel
hands on you, you immediately start to tense and fight but relax when you hear
“It’s just me, it’s just me идиот,” he soothes you softly as
his metal hand trembles while breaking your bonds. You fall into him and can’t
find it in you to cry or make a sound. And you wonder if maybe this time, maybe
this time it was worth it.
The first time, is your last time.
You risk your life for him
and you don’t even think. You see him
in danger, you see everyone in
danger. But when you see him, when you hear the metal whir breaking through the
clamor around you, you don’t think. You hear nothing else. You look at the five
midnight black barrels of the machine guns facing him, glinting harshly and you
just go. You think you can make it.
If you just take that extra step, lose that extra second, you can make it. You
two can make it out, together.
But you were always bad at math.
For the second you push him down you know you miscalculated.
You don’t hear the shots but you feel them, ripping and tearing through flesh
and bone. You feel the blood seep into the concrete floor. But you don’t hear
the strangled sob from behind you and you don’t hear the hoarse shot. You don’t
hear the bodies drop around you; you don’t hear the knife splitting through Kevlar
Yet you feel his hands on your face, your chest, your
stomach. You feel him fumbling for a solution. He’s whispering fast in Russian,
his skin flushed a shade of pink you’ve never seen before. It’s beautiful,
“You…you, you stupid,
crazy, idiotic, moron,” he
shouts with tears in his eyes. His bottom lip trembles and you reach to soothe
it. Blood smears against the soft bristles that surround his mouth but neither
of you really notice. “How could you do this? How…why, why would you ever you–”
“You’re alive,” your voice is hoarse and choked and filling
with something you’re not sure of. It doesn’t even sound like you but he looks
at you as if you were the only thing he heard. You think he says something else
but the look on his face means he understands exactly what you’re saying.
He’s breathing heavy now. You can feel it in gentle puffs
against your face. He’s shaking his head as he stares at you. He keeps shaking
his head until his hair forms a dark curtain around his shimmering eyes. “No,”
he whispers. “Not without you, not…please–”
You shake your head in response. “You’re alive,” you whisper
as darkness begins to creep into your vision. “You’re alive.”
The weight of what you’re saying seems to settle onto his
skin and into his bones because he’s looking at you with disbelief and wonder and
fear and an ancient sadness that you feel deep in your chest. He presses his
lips to your face and a wetness leaks onto your skin and seems to slide right
off. “Not without you. я люблю тебя. Not without you.”
You clutch his hand and feel the black begin to spot his
face, turning him gray. “You’re alive,” you say finally before your head drops
into his metal palm.
I don’t even know what this is… just blame it on the Advil…. I’m tired
It had been a long day for couple, Nice and Oswald, who were cuddling on the sofa and sharing a blanket. They were enjoying binge watching some Netflix series.
At the moment, they were watching some show about zombies and Seattle, but honestly Oswald didn’t know what he was watching anymore, he stopped paying attention. He was bored out of his mind, the only reason that he was enduring this was because he got to cuddle with his girlfriend.
Oswald glanced at Nice’s expression, she was too fixated on the screen and watching the characters interact with one another. He pouted.
You see, Oswald is like a puppy or kitten who craves attention, and just like them adorable lil creatures, he’ll get his way.
“Nice.” He whispered in her ear with whining tone.
Nice shrugged her shoulder (cockblocked! XD) and shied away from Oswald when she felt his hot breath on against her ear. “Ozzy, c'mon.” She giggled.
Oswald playfully glared at her and held Nice’s chin between his thumb and index finger, looking at her lovingly. The two shared a small kiss, which then turned passionate. Oswald pulled away and left little butterfly kisses on Nice’s neck.
Nice giggled in response, “Ozzy.”
Suddenly the two were startled by a suddenly white flash and click. They quickly looked to the source to see a confused/horrified Hailey.. cellphone in hand.
“Hailey?!” The two shouted in shock.
“What are you still doing here?! Didn’t you leave a few hours ago with Mick and Felix?!” Oswald exclaimed.
Hailey puffed her cheeks, “I never left.” She muttered, “I have been here the whole time.”
Monday turned out great, Y/N apparently is good at assisting and Chris is good at making her feel comfortable. They both agreed that Mondays and Wednesdays were the days that she could come in and help him and if she had any spare time she would also be able to work then. Everything about those three hours was amazing, Chris would ask her about her future and what was she planning on after college and sometimes they would transition the conversation to their personal lives. Families, friends, relationships; Chris was now certain that she was available but he still couldn’t figure out if she liked him back.
Y/N is an up and coming YouTuber. Grayson falls in love with her, and wants her to be his. Little did he know that his twin brother Ethan had the same idea. Who will win her heart? Who’s heart will get broken?
Word Count: 3,691
A/N: Team Ethan or Team Grayson?
* * Times Skip - 3 Months * *
It’s been three months since Ethan asked me to be his girlfriend at the pizza place. Things between us were going pretty well. The fans were starting to accept our relationship, so the hate started to die down a little. Ethan and Grayson were back to normal. There was no more tension between them, which was a relief. Grayson and I on the other hand, we weren’t really on speaking terms. He still hasn’t spoken to me since what happened.
He still hasn’t forgiven me. I mean I guess I can’t really blame him. He was dating Tana Mongeau now. That trashy YouTuber. Yeah I said it! I honestly don’t know what he sees in her. I didn’t even know he was into those kind of girls. I mean he seems happy, so I’m happy for him I guess.
I was in my room writing down some ideas for next weeks video. My YouTube channel literally blew up over night. Three months ago, I had about 197,000 subscribers, now I’m a couple hundred subscribers away from 1 million! It obviously had a lot to do with the boys shouting me out on Twitter, when they first saw my channel. I was now verified on Twitter, which is fucking crazy! I got invited to Playlist Live in Orlando next weekend! How did so much happen in 3 months? I’m more than grateful for all of this. There was so much love and support from the fans, but with all that love and support, comes a lot of hate. Some fans would say how I used the boys to help boost my YouTube career. I knew that wasn’t true, the guys knew it wasn’t true, but it was still hard to hear. The guys found my channel. They decided to shout me out, they wanted to film a collab, I didn’t make them do any of that. I mean yes of course them doing all that had a big play in where I am with my career now, but I didn’t use them.
I was laying in my bed scrolling through Twitter, when Ethan called me. A smile crept upon my face before I answered.
“Hey!” I said!
“What are you up too?” Ethan asked, before I heard a car door closing.
“Nothing much, trying to come up with some ideas for the new video.” I said, scribbling random shapes onto my notebook.
“How’s that coming along?” he asked.
“It’s not. I’m one of those creators block, or whatever you call it. What are you doing?” I asked changing the subject.
He laughed slightly before speaking again. “ Well I’m on my way home right now, but how about we go get some ice cream, and I can help you come up with an idea for the video?”
“That sounds like a great idea! I’ll get ready and meet you at your place.” I said, closing up my notebook.
“Sounds good. I’ll see you soon babe.” Ethan said before hanging up.
I stayed in a bed for a few more minutes looking through some tweets, when I noticed the trends. #GrayanaIsOverParty was trending number 1 (Grayana is Tana & Grayson ship name, gross!) Why is this trending? I thought to myself. I clicked on the hashtag, and all I saw were fans calling Tana a hoe, and a slut. I mean that’s nothing new, but I was confused as to way they were saying this. I scrolled a little more, and there was a link to a video. I clicked the link and it took me to Kian’s and JC’s channel. It was a video called “Sexual Spin The Bottle” and Tana was in the thumbnail. It was almost impossible not to cringe watching this video. After watching the video, I decided to go look at her Twitter. Why not? Her last tweet was an hour ago.
@tanamongeau: When your bf doesn’t like the new YouTube video so he breaks up with you. Oops
What a bitch.
* * * *
I was in the bathroom finishing up getting ready, so I could go meet Ethan at his apartment. I was brushing my hair, when my Twitter notification had gone off. I walked over to the night stand to check. Looks like Grayson had just posted a new tweet. I’ve always had his, and Ethan’s notifications on. I guess I just never remembered to cut it off.
@GraysonDolan: Positive Vibes.
I stomach dropped a little thinking about how Grayson must’ve been feeling about the video, and the whole situation. I wanted to reach out and see if he was ok, but I knew I shouldn’t. He wasn’t going to respond to me anyway. I liked and retweeted the tweet, before closing out of the app locking my phone.
I finished brushing my hair, and grabbed my wallet, and my keys of the bed before heading out.
* * * *
I was outside Ethan’s apartment. I texted him letting him know I was here, but I don’t know what’s taking him so long to open the door. I held up my fist to knock again but the door opened, revealing Grayson.
“Ethan’s in the shower.” Grayson said coldly, moving out the door way and into the kitchen.
It was like he could careless if I was there. I hate this. I miss him. Before all of this, he was my friend. Can I at least have my friend back? I walked over to the kitchen, and stood by the counter. Grayson was sitting at the dining table, eating some In n Out. I’m pretty sure he knew I was standing there, but he just wanted to be an ass and ignore me. I wanted to ask him if he was okay. I wanted to just talk to him. So I did.
“I heard about what happened with Tana…” I said. He took a sip from his drink, and looked at me with side eyes.
“You didn’t deserve that. You don’t deserve to be made a fool of li-”
“You would know about making someone look like a fool. Don’t you Y/N?” he interrupted me.
Okay, seriously? Why is he being such a jerk? I get that I made him look stupid, but I apologized so many times. He knows how bad I feel about it, so can’t he just let it go? Its been 3 months already!
“Okay, I get you’re still mad but that doesn’t mean you can keep being a dick to me! If you can drop what happened with Ethan, why can’t you drop it with me? We both started dating other people. I’m sorry your relationship with Tana Mongoose didn’t work out. But I had feelings for you Grayson, I did! I tried to reach out. Hell I even went over to see you. I wanted to try and talk to you. But I show up, and you got Tana’s legs spread out in the fucking air, screaming your fucking name! …” I paused. The memory of that moment came flooding back in my brain. I honestly wanted to throw up.
“Look Grayson, I get it okay?” my voice a little calmer.
“It was just so overwhelming to see you guys fight like that. I felt awful knowing that I was the reason. But
you need to understand where I was coming from when I didn’t want to make a choice. I thought what I did was the right thing to do. I didn’t want to have to choose between you guys… I couldn’t!”
“But you did choose!” he said, his voice a little louder than before.
I wanted to say something, but before I could Ethan entered the room.
“You ready babe?” Ethan asked, wrapping his hands around my waist. I saw Grayson get up from the dining table, and walked towards his room.
“Yeah, lets go.” I said, with a half smile.
* * * *
We were sitting outside the fro-yo place eating frozen yogurt, and talking about some ideas for my videos. Ethan was talking about doing a couple’s tag, but to be completely honest, I wasn’t really paying attention. My mind was still stuck on that awkward moment between Grayson and I. “But you did choose.” what he said kept replaying itself in my head. Grayson was right, I did choose. I chose Ethan. I was happy with the choice I made. I was happy with him. So why do I am I starting to feel like I made the wrong choice.
“Y/N!” Ethan said loudly, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
“You haven’t said much since we sat down.”
“Yeah, sorry. I’m not really feeling good.” I lied. There was nothing wrong with me. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Ethan I was thinking about his twin brother.
“Want me to take you home?” he said, giving me a worried look and I nodded.
Ethan and I arrived at my apartment. He walked me upstairs, wanting to make sure I was okay before leaving. I wasn’t even sick, so I felt bad that he was worrying so much. He offered to stay for a while, but I wanted to soak in the bath, and be alone.
“Ethan, I’m fine! I’m just grabbing some water, and I’m going to go take a bath. We can FaceTime whenever you get home.” I said, giving him a kiss on the lips. He pulled away, and said the three words I was not expecting him to say.
“I love you.” he said, as he moved a strain of hair behind my ear.
Ethan Dolan just told me he loves me. Why am I standing here like an idiot? Say it back you idiot!
“Ethan. I-I l-”
I wanted to say it back, I tried to say it back. But nothing came out. I just stood there like a deer in headlights.
“Y/N it’s okay. I’m not expecting you to say it back. I just wanted you to know how I felt. Whenever you’re ready babe!” he said, kissing me on the forehead.
“I’ll call you later.” he said, walking out the door of my apartment.
* * * *
I was laying on the couch, scrolling through Twitter on my phone. Thought I’d follow, and DM some fans back. I was scrolling through my notifications, I saw that Y/N liked and retweeted one of my tweets from earlier. I wonder if she still had my post notifications on. I couldn’t help but smile a little at the thought. Remembering when she first told me that. She was so embarrassed, she turned as red as a tomato. My thoughts went back to the somewhat of a conversation we had earlier. That was the most we’ve spoken in months. I just don’t know why she chose Ethan over me. It was me she had the “celebrity crush” on. She liked me. I liked her. We would’ve been perfect together.
I heard the front door open. It was probably Ethan and Y/N coming back from their date. The door opened revealing just Ethan. Y/N wasn’t with him.
“Yo.” I said, as he entered the living room.
“Yo!” he responded back, giving me a head nod.
“Where’s Y/N?” I asked, curious.
“She wasn’t feeling good, so I took her home.” he said before walking into his bedroom.
We were currently in his room, working on editing the video for next week. It didn’t take us long, because I had already did half of it while Ethan was out. Ethan told me he was gonna FaceTime Y/N, so I went back to my room.
It was 11:45 pm. I was laying in bed, and I could hear Ethan talking to Y/N in the living room. He seriously couldn’t sit in his room, close the door and talk to her? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t bitter about the whole thing. She was suppose to be my girl. Not his. If it wasn’t for Ethan, coming into the situation, she would’ve been mine. We would be the ones on face-timing right now. Not them. He just had to slide into her DMs even after knowing that I wanted to talk to her! Than on top of that he tried to lie, and hide it! I threw my phone across the room, feeling pissed off at Ethan all over again.
I threw on a white t-shirt, and some black Adidas sweats. I ran my fingers through my hair, before putting on my snapback. I picked up my phone from the floor, and grabbed my keys. I told Ethan I was heading out, before slamming the apartment door shut.
* * * *
I stood in front of her apartment door for what felt like hours, but its only been a few minutes. What am I doing here? Why am I even here? I don’t know, but I just needed to see her.
My hands formed a fist, as I knocked against the hard wood of the door. I knocked a few more times, and I could faintly hear someone talking from the other side.
“E, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Y/N said. I’m guessing she hung up because not long after that, the door opened.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, slightly confused. She stepped to the side, letting me in and closing the door behind us.
“I heard Ethan say you weren’t feeling good, so I just wanted to see if you were okay.” I said, standing in the middle of the living room.
“You can sit down you know?” she said sitting down on her couch.
“And I’m not sick. I just told E that, so he would take me home.” she said, nibbling her bottom lip. A habit of hers I’ve picked up on pretty quickly. She usually does it when she’s feeling bad or guilty about something.
“Why’d you do that?” I asked, sitting on the couch next to her.
“I don’t know.” her voice was at a whisper. She was fiddling with the ends of her sleeves. I can tell she was lying. She did know why, she just didn’t want to tell me.
We talked for a bit, catching up with what’s been happening with our lives. I congratulated her on hitting 1 Million subscribers on YouTube. I was honestly so proud of her. I just wish I could’ve been a part of all her great achievements. I was too busy being mad at Y/N for what she did, and in spite I started dating some blonde bimbo, trying to get over her. But I never did. My feelings for her never went away. No matter how much I tried to act like I didn’t care, I always have. I was such prideful person, that I didn’t want to admit it. When Ethan started dating her, words couldn’t even explain how much that hurt me. But I still kept that “I don’t care” attitude going. Even though deep down I knew we belonged together. I don’t want to be that prideful person anymore. I don’t want to lie about my feelings anymore. I need to tell her
“I love you Y/N!” I said, cutting her off.
“Wh-What did you just say? she asked, standing up from the couch looking at me.
“I said I lo-” I tried to speak but she cut me off.
“No! Shut up!” she yelled at me.
“Why would you do that? You can’t… You can’t just randomly come here, and tell me you love me Grayson! You can’t do that! Especially when I’m dating your brother! For fuck sake, I love you too, but I’m with your bro-” I didn’t let her finish.
I grabbed the sides of her cheeks and crashed my lips onto hers. She kissed me back, but trying her hardest to keep her arms at her side. Her arms found their way around my neck. I smile into the kiss as I felt her wrapping her arms tighter. Our lips were moving in sync, my hands trailed down her waist. I rested them on the small of her back, pulling her body closer against mine. Her chest against mine, as I could feel my heart beat out of my chest.
I pulled away from our kiss, and rest my forehead on top of hers. My eyes meeting her beautiful brown ones. My hands found her butt giving it a playful squeeze.
“Jump.” I whispered, before connecting my lips on her soft plump ones.
She jumps wrapping her legs around my waist, as I continue to kiss her intensely. Without breaking the kiss I carry her into her bedroom, and set her down on the set. She takes the collar of my shirt, and pulls me down on top on her. I moved my hands along her sides, stopping at the bottom of her shirt. I pulled her shirt up slowing revealing her stomach. She arched her back, so I could continue removing her shirt. I stopped kissing her for a quick second to pull the shirt over her head, and tossing it on the floor. Her hands made way under my shirt, running her hands up and down my back. She grabbed the trim of my shirt, I pulled my body away from her letting drag off my shirt one arm at a time, than tugging it off my head. I reconnected my lips onto hers, licking her bottom lip for entrance. She parted her lips letting me in, and our kiss deepened.
I moved my hands down slowly, my fingers meeting the waist of her shorts, and slowly pulled them down her legs. I bent down kissing her most private part through her red lace panties, as I run my hands down the back of her legs. She shivered slightly, and I glance up seeing her smiling down at me. I gave her a smirk, as I slid her panties down, tossing them on the floor with her shorts.
I stood at the end of the bed, pulling down my sweats, and boxers, kicking them off to the side. Not once did my eyes leave her. She looked so beautiful laying there waiting for me. A part of me was feeling really bad for doing this to Ethan, but a part of me didn’t really care. As harsh as that sounds, I didn’t. He knew how I felt about Y/N. But he still decided to go after her. I know I say it a lot, but she belongs with me. And tonight I’m going to show her just how much I want her.
I grabbed her ankles, and pulled her towards the end of the bed. I climbed on top of her, grabbing her hands, raising them over her head, and locking her fingers with mine.
“Want me to show you who the better twin is? I asked, planting wet kisses up and down her neck.
“I’m gonna make you feel better than Ethan ever could.” I whispered against her lips.
“Ethan and I… We never… We never had sex…” she said. Her eyes locking on mine.
What? Her and Ethan never had sex? Why? I mean obviously that’s a good thing, but why the hell didn’t he want to tap that ass? Maybe he did? Maybe she didn’t want to have sex with him? I don’t know, but the thought of Y/N never even being touched by my brother turned me on 10 times more. She’s mine. All mine.
“Mmm.” she hummed, as I pushed my dick into her slowly, not wanting to hurt her.
Her eyes locked on mine, as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I had her hands in mine, still resting over her head. I was dominantly her physically, but emotionally, she had me at her mercy. I started picking up my pace moving in and out of her body. My eyes never leaving hers. I could feel Y/N digging her nails into my back. But I didn’t mind. That just means I was doing my job.
“Fuck! Grayson!” she screamed out, as I began to thrust deeper into her.
I could see her face start to flush, and I felt her body tighten around me. She was close, and I was too.
I can feel myself creeping closer and closer into the edge of an orgasm. I started to move faster, and harder.
“G-Grayson, I’m about to cum!” she moaned.
“Cum for me Y/N!” I groaned, pumping my entire length inside her.
“F-fuck!” she half moaned, and half screamed. I continued stroking deeper and faster strokes, until I felt our bodies trembling against each other, and we both came together.
I rolled over on my side, pulling her naked body close to mind.
“What did we just do?” she asked. Tracing circles into my bare chest.
I didn’t say anything. We both knew exactly what we did. Y/N just cheated on Ethan, and I just had sex with his girlfriend. Probably by far the most shittiest thing I’ve done.
“I love you Gray.” Y/N said.
A little taken back at the fact that she just told me she loves me. But I didn’t question her about it. I knew she meant it. I just knew.
“I love you too babygirl.” I said as I placed a kiss on her forehead. I pulled her closer, and held her tighter against me.
Things I learned today from reading Lost Eden Scans:
This isn’t a translation, just a shitty summary and I only did these two because I’m biased and lazy. Enjoy~
*edited after playing since scans weren’t clear *
Ruki and Yui bump into this ~stranger~ at the supermarket. Said stranger was staring at them earlier which totally isn’t weird or nothing. Apples fall down and Ruki tells the guy to be careful.
???: “I’ll buy this apple… …So it’s all good, yeah?”
The guy just kinda takes the apples and eats them. NOM NOM APPLES. much symbolism. And Ruki just deeply sighs.
Stranger is super casual with Ruki and Yui wonders if he’s an acquaintance.
After Yui and Ruki are done getting what they need, Yuma joins them. And Ruki’s kinda spooked at whatever happened with ~stranger~, so we have Yuma being worried about him. Something’s bothering Ruki. Anyway, the 3 walk home. BUT THEN. Kou joins the party.
Kou: I worked really hard! Please tell me you’re gonna make vongole bianco as a reward!?
The now 4 of them head home. *intercom voice* =They have arrived at the house= Azusa feels down seeing them all come home together because he was the odd guy out. Kou cheers Azusa up and all the brothers say stuff to him. The smile on Azusa’s face comes back and everyone has dinner together. AKA KOU AND YUMA FIGHTING LIKE 5 YEaR OLDS AND PAPA RUKI TELLING THEM “OH LOOK AT THE GOOD CHILDREN. YUI AND AZUSA. ACT MORE LIKE THEM” and yeah there’s a CG of it.
Azusa: But that’s nice… …how everyone came home together.
Dear uncle Richter. OHHH RICHTER. So this Kino guy asks Richter to meet him at this one place. They talk a bit. I guess Kino kinda does a “let me tell you shit, then I’ll kill you” sorta thing here. He stacks all this on Richter.
THEN BOOM. EXPLOSION. ~MAGIC POWErS UNLEASHED~
Somewhere afterwards, we have that scene where Kino’s all HEY YURI. GET RID OF THIS OLD HAG FOR ME. And so Richter gets skewered onto that tower. That tower has a name and I’ll get to that shortly. It was the title of Laito and Shin’s Versus Track 1.
Yui passes her days kinda on edge/uneasy since Ayato inherited Karl’s powers and stuff. One day, she heads out on a date (presumably with Ayato) and EW WHAT IS THAT SMELL? IT’S LIKE CORPSE. She notices this nasty dead smell at 神無 TOWER. Yeah. That’s literally the kanji. But thank it isn’t Kamimu tower lol. It’s Kaminashi Tower. STILL? 無神
神無 Anyway, suddenly this ~beautiful young man~ appears and just goes right in for a kiss. “It’s to win you over.“ says the young man. yes nothing turns me on more than the smell of corpse sir
That’s what I learned today and I’m pumped for the game coming out soon! And this is why I don’t do summaries.
for one i was not prepared enough for it. i told people this: “i am a novice fishkeeper with not much experience. i’m getting a 20g tank. please give me ideas of what to put in it.”
nearly everyone suggested a sorority, on both instagram and a few forums. i asked about the risks bc it’s common knowledge bettas are aggressive and they all assured me it wouldn’t be a problem
but it was a problem, and many fish died. if you look through my tagged #betta sorority posts, of those fish, only 5 are still alive, and only 1 is still in my fish room (the rest were rehomed so that they could be kept in 10g+ solitary tanks
sororities cause stress which weakens the immune system and can cause outbreaks of ich, columnaris, and other illnesses that live in the tank water anyways. a healthy, stress free fish has a much lower chance of contracting those because they have a strong immune system.
don’t get me wrong, i love my girls, but i cannot ethically keep them housed together any longer. all girls are now separated and i will do everything in my power to prevent others from attempting such an inhumane practice.
i don’t hate people who have sororities but look… even huge, thickly planted ones can fail. i saw someone with a 100g sorority, 5 females, ridiculously well planted. lasted three years and then the owner came home to find two of the bettas floating on the top, dead and covered in wounds.
sororities do not benefit the fish in any way, and anyone who says otherwise is lying unless they can show me concrete, hard proof (not just a few isolated instances)
sororities are purely for human ego and ego should NEVER be more important than the best interests of the fish.
It’s easter at Hogwarts. Fred and George are both alive and
kicking. They have decided that since Umbridge left, this might be a
good moment to re-do their last year and cheer all the traumatized
war-veterans up with some top quality pranks.
And maybe play matchmaker for a couple or two.
Harry and Draco
“Why are we even participating in this stupid Weasley contest?” It was the first thing Malfoy said after he’d stalked off towards the forbidden forest. Harry had so far not even been sure if they were participating or if Malfoy just fancied a walk and Harry was tagging along. Or stalking him.
“Uhm… I dunno. Because it’s fun?” It wasn’t meant to be witty or sarcastic. Harry really didn’t know why they were taking part in the hunt. Especially since the price they could win wasn’t something either one of them was able to use. At least, Harry thought it wasn’t.
“Last time I had proper fun was fifth year, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.” The depressing content of Malfoy’s answer went right past Harry, who was still a bit lost in thought.
“Are you single?”
“Am I what, Potter?” They had reached the edge of the forest. Malfoy turned around to stare at Harry in surprise and disbelief, with a still lingering flicker of sadness in his eyes. It was the last question he’d expected Potter to ask.
“Are you seeing anyone?” Harry clarified, a bit flustered.
“I know what ‘being single’ means, idiot.” Malfoy turned around again to enter the forest. “But it’s a rather foolish question to ask a gay ex-death eater with PTSD, who is covered in scars and in general not considered to be a very nice person, don’t you think?” After a short pause he added, “Who the hell would want to date me?”
His pace quickened while he spoke. He had never disclosed his sexuality to anyone outside of Slytherin, and he wasn’t really sure why he suddenly came out to Potter. Though Draco supposed the boy could hardly hate him more than he already did, and if there was anything he’d learned from the war then it was shielding himself from spells aimed at his back.
But Potter didn’t respond at all, so Draco could safely continue walking. Well, I suppose silence is still a much better response than the curses my father flung at my head.
It wasn’t the fact that Malfoy had just admitted he was gay that rendered Harry speechless. His often theatrical behaviour and flamboyant mannerisms made it hard to not at least suspect. It was the casual mentioning of suffering from PTSD. Harry had been struggling with nightmares, old reflexes and anxiety every day since the war had ended, but not even Ron or Hermione knew he was seeing a therapist for that. No one did.
He’d never even thought of the possibility of just carelessly mentioning the state of his mental health, of just being open about it. It felt almost good to hear Malfoy say he was struggling, however selfish that sounded.
Suddenly Harry realised he hadn’t responded to Malfoy’s revelation. “What about Zabini?”
Malfoy laughed, relieved the tense silence was broken. “Blaise the ace. A good friend but he’d never be interested in more. Besides, he’s not my type.”
“Hells no. Guy’s as straight as they come and still not my type.” Draco was surprised at the amount of relief that flooded him when the other boy didn’t seem phased at all to find out he was gay. So surprised he gave genuine answers to his questions.
“What is your type then?”
“None of your business.” Draco was now over his surprise enough to prevent himself from giving a truthful answer. He could barely admit his type to himself, the last thing he wanted to do was tell Potter. “Why do you care anyway? The goal was finding some stupid egg not playing matchmaker.”
“I think you’ll find Fred and George disagree with you on that. Didn’t you see the other pairings?”
“They were mostly Slytherin and Gryffindor, your point?”
“My point is that they’re trying to make us get along. They’re pretty fed up with fighting now I suppose. We all are. And forcing us to hang out might stop the quarrels amongst our lower years as well.”
Sometimes it seemed like the first years hated each other with the same passion as Harry and Draco did at that age. It was very confronting to see their childhood feud damage the relationship between their houses so much.
“You didn’t think of that yourself, did you?” Draco cursed himself for missing the obvious. The sharp edges of his trademark wit had faded since he was on meds for his anxiety and nightmares. He often cursed how much they slowed down his thoughts. But then, not taking them wasn’t very pleasant either.
“No.” Harry blushed a bit and looked at his feet. “Hermione did.”
They were silent again after that, but this time it was a bit more bearable. Almost nice.
“Why are we in the woods exactly?” Asked Harry after five more minutes of walking among the trees. They were following the edge of the forest, where the sun shone through the fresh spring leaves, drawing patterns on the path.
“To find those bloody eggs of course.”
“But we haven’t searched anywhere yet, just walked.”
“That’s because I know where they hid one of them. I saw Lee and the twins come out of the forest here this morning. So if I remember correctly….” Draco craned his neck, searching the trees with his trained seeker eyes. “There.” And with a surprising ease for someone in skinny jeans and highly polished shoes he started to climb a huge oak tree standing next to the path.
Harry noticed a golden shimmer among the highest branches of the tree. “Are you sure you can climb that high? I don’t particularly fancy catching you.”
“Nice to hear you’d be happy to let me fall to my death, and yes, I can climb that high. I might be shit at making the right choices or getting people to like me, but if there’s one thing I’ve mastered beyond fucking perfection it’s climbing trees.” It appeared to be true. Already Draco was twenty feet up in the fifty feet tree and he showed no sign of slowing down when the branches thinned and started to creak under his weight.
“I didn’t mean it like that! Of course I’d catch you if you fell!” Shouted Harry back in the direction of the fine ass that steadily moved up in the tree. Draco was now so high speaking at a normal volume would be inaudible.
“I’m not saying you did mean it like that Potter.” Draco raised his voice now too, he had nearly reached the egg. “It’s just that I probably wouldn’t catch myself if I did fall.” But he let his volume drop so Harry wouldn’t be able to hear the last part.
At least, that’s what he thought.
“Catch!” Draco dropped the egg into Harry’s arms. Harry nearly let it crash to the ground because he’d only now began to process what Malfoy had told him. He hadn’t had any real fun since fifth year, suffered from PTSD, apparently wouldn’t mind dying and on a whole he just looked quite alone and miserable. It didn’t sound like much fun.
“Well, let’s see what’s in it then.” Draco climbed down the tree even faster than up. Harry didn’t respond again, so Draco took matters into his own hands.
He made a displeased sound when he finished reading the note. “If we want to win this thing we have to hold hands for 24 hours. Non-stop. No separate bathroom breaks, no separate showers, no separate beds.” Draco didn’t look thrilled at the thought. “Look, we don’t have to do this. If you want to have a date with someone I could arrange some…”
But he was quickly cut off. Harry had come to a decision. The idea of the twins to bring the houses closer together had seemed rather foolish first. A stupid search for easter eggs surely couldn’t bridge the huge gap between Slytherin and Gryffindor. But then, he’d already learned more about Draco during the past half hour than he ever thought he would. He grabbed Draco’s hand.
“Shut it and suck it Malfoy. Looks like you’re stuck with me for the next 24 hours.”
It wasn’t as bad as Draco initially thought it would be. It was much much worse. “No Potter. Just no. I am not okay with this. I will not be seen with you if you keep wearing that.”
Draco sounded properly horrified, but that just made Harry more determined to keep wearing his Weasley sweater. It was the only item he owned that had a zipper on the side so he could put it on without letting go of Draco’s hand. Mrs. Weasley had made it for him so he’d have an easier time changing when he injured himself during quidditch.
Now that all the eggs had been found the twins had called everyone to the three broomsticks to announce the winners. Draco had insisted they’d change outfits first but he was starting to regret that decision more and more with every passing minute.
He’d had no problem with putting on something different since the hand-holding didn’t obstruct magically changing clothes, but Harry didn’t know how to do that and Draco knew better than to step in and help. The one time he tried that it had gone terribly askew and the image of a half-naked Vincent Crabbe still haunted his nightmares sometimes.
“Why not? It’s either this or a house elf style tea towel.” The smug smile Harry got from annoying Draco would probably be the death of him.
“Oh my god, Potter. I will literally kill myself if you’re going to wear a fucking tea towel.”
“Really? You don’t think I could pull it off? I thought it would accentuate my hips perfectly.”
Draco face palmed himself. “Kill me. Just fucking kill me now. I’m forced to hold hands with with Harry fucking Potter who thinks he looks sexy in a tea towel. And here I was thinking my life couldn’t get any worse.”
“At least you don’t have to spent the entire evening with hair hanging in your face. I can’t put mine in a bun with one hand.” And Harry made a failed attempt to blow his long hair out of his face to prove his point.
“Yeah, right. You have it much worse than me. As always” Draco rolled his eyes. Harry snorted.
“Okay. That’s it. Dress in a fucking potato sack? Fine. Complain about your riddikulus hair? Go ahead. But I am not getting laughed at.” Before Harry could apologize or call Draco a drama queen he was violently shoved face first against the wall of his dormitory.
“Shut it, Potter.” Draco twisted Harry’s arm behind his back and in one smooth movement grabbed all of Harry’s hair in his free hand. With a whispered wandless spell a magical ring appeared to tie it all together. As a petty revenge Draco pulled it much tighter than necessary.
“So. Happy now?” He released Harry’s arm from its twisted position while continuing to hold hands.
“Sort of. It’s a bit too tight if I’m being hone… Ow!” Draco had pulled Harry’s hair again.
“You’re an absolute asrehole, you know that Potter?” Harry rubbed the back of his head.
“Nope. But you have until tomorrow afternoon to remind me.”
“Prick.” Draco sighed.
“Git.” Shot Harry back as he stuck out his tongue at him. It felt good to banter with each other over the tiny things. And when they walked hand-in-hand towards the three broomsticks Harry saw Draco smile a bit from the corner of his eyes.
It might not be a perfect solution to all of their problems, but at least Draco could have some proper fun bitching to Harry the entire night, and Harry discovered he found that worth much more than a too tight ponytail or a sore shoulder.
I personally think this one is the funniest of the three, but that’s probably just my weird sense of humour.
And this isn’t the last part yet! Just the last part of today. I will still write something about the winners announcement at the three broomsticks, including a whole new ship…