why am i sharing this story

Pop Stars AU - Unpublished Scenes

I decided to open a word document just now and started writing my notes and out-of-order scenes for Lightning Strikes Every Time (He) Moves and figured I’d share with those of you that are waiting for the next update a very general idea of some of the scenes coming that have left me screaming at myself because… why am I like this? This story is a train wreck. 

  • Leo de la Iglesia writes and performs Despacito in this AU (”Oh my god, Phichit, I love this song!” Yuuri whispers, eyes wide in the dim lighting of the club.). He decides to give the English version’s English verse to Lee Seung-Gil, who makes no secret whatsoever that he’s totally into Yuuri when he performs the song at a private party. He sings his portion staring directly, intensely at Yuuri. 
  • “Phichit,” Yuuri gushes, squeezing his friend’s arm with a smile, “I think he’s coming onto you! He’s looking over here!” Viktor steps closer, shadowing over Yuuri as he leans conspirationally to tell Yuuri with a coy smile, “Actually, I think he’s looking at you. You should go up there and dance with him.”
  • Poor Phichit is heartbroken, but he’ll survive (or will he? Yuuri, why you doing your bestie like this?). But Yuuri is not interested in anyone that isn’t Viktor (and feels almost offended that Viktor would even suggest to him that he go dance with someone else - like, excuse you, VikNik, but do you not know who you came with? And yeah no, he doesn’t, Yuuri, chill), so he starts circling around Viktor, shimmying his hips slowly until he manages to entice Viktor to dance with him. And you can pretty much image that this is this AU’s version of the canon’s famous first-meet dance.
  •  Mila films the whole thing. And posts the video of the two dancing (which of course leads to rumors that they must be in a relationship circulating even more!). Meanwhile, Chris confesses that he had begged Leo for the song, but Leo had told him he’d keep it for himself after Viktor turned him down. Yuuri, of course, is SHOCKED VikNik didn’t take the song and demands Viktor perform it with Leo, as it really should have happened! Instead, Viktor promises Yuuri that he’ll perform an unreleased song just for him – Yuuri just needs to be patient. 
  • Seung-Gil starts sending Yuuri flowers. Viktor keeps encouraging Yuuri to consider giving Seung-Gil a shot, even as he can’t shake a strange feeling that’s not jealousy (because WHAT? No!). It’s okay, VikNik. You’ll figure it out. Yuuri is super offended. 
  • “Someday you’re going to realize that there is no one that shines brighter, that matters more than Viktor in my world. And that’s going to be the same day I convince you to never take your eyes off me again.” “Yuuri,” Viktor sighs, brushing the fringe of his dark hair back with a tired smile. It makes Yuuri all the angrier that Viktor looks so defeated, like Yuuri is a child in need of good chiding, “I don’t think you realize it, but you already have the whole world’s eyes on you. Including mine.” 
  • Yuuri goes on a talk show with Otabek and Phichit, and gets asked a lot of questions about his relationship with VikNik – especially because VikNik is backstage, having a pretty ominous sounding conversation with Celestino! 
  • “I assume Yuuri already told you that he’s decided not to sign for an additional five years,” Viktor fixes his cuff, staring straight ahead. Celestino studies his profile, “I hope you don’t think things are finalized. I’m not sure what game you’re playing, Viktor, but Yuuri isn’t leaving the Hit Factory.”
  • Yuuri leaves the Hit Factory and signs with Viktor after he gets jealous when there’s a leak of a demo for I Don’t Want to Live Forever - in which VikNik duets with (unimportant) Young Female Pop Star #1. 
  • VikNik starts following Yuuri on the last concerts of his tour, sending the rumor mill spinning - which seems to be exactly what he wants. Celestino warns Yuuri to watch out. But Yuuri lets Celestino know that he’ll be just fine; he has a plan! 
  • Yuuri moves in with Viktor, Mila, and Yuri to Villa Vedici. 
  • I said this was a train wreck, right? Because I’ve obviously been writing everything out of order and there’s a sex scene in a recording studio between our two boys, which VikNik automatically regrets because Yuuri of course has to let the whole world know of his happiness – obviously not explicitly, but the songs that he starts writing and putting together for the last, remaining little bits of his contract with the Hit Factory are, uh, telling. 
  • Accidental family? Viktor and Yuuri act almost like parents to the younger pop stars, Mila and Yuri, especially Yuri, who is still very salty about how Yuuri treated him in the beginning of the whole story! 

Okay! I won’t bore you all with more out of order, random scenes. :) 

i am busy doing my homework in web design while i’m talking to my girlfriend. then suddenly she told me 

“baka late ka na matulog. pano babe pag magkasama tayo di pala tayo sabay matulog :(”

and that’s why i opened my tumblr just to share this story. lmao i know medj walang kwenta pero haler my girlfriend is the cutest hooman ever

But I don’t want small talk. Text me, and without saying hello, tell me why you got so angry at your neighbor this morning. Tell me why you have a scar shaped like the letter S on your palm. Send me paragraphs about the time you spent at your grandmother’s house that one summer. Call me when I’m half asleep and tell me why you fear owls . Tell me about the first time you saw your dad cry. Tell me about your friends’ childhood funny stories, tell me about the little girl who used to annoy you when you were kids. Text me at 4 AM to tell me about the dream that woke you up , come at my door to show me your writings . Talk to me about your wildest dreams that you feel embarrassed to share with anyone Go on for hours about things that may not seem important because I promise that I’ll be hanging on to every word you say. Tell me everything. I don’t want someone who just talks about the weather.
—  warmsnow07 

shoutout to all the lonely wlw, to those who have never been on a date, who’ve never had a girlfriend, who’ve never been kissed or held hands, who feel like they never will have any of that, or deserve it. being a wlw is often extremely isolating and lonely. wlw wedding photos and stories about wlw relationships and stuff are all very valuable and important and need to be shared - it’s proof that we CAN find each other! but it can also intensify those feelings of loneliness - it seems like everybody has had these experiences, is in love or has been once, and you think why am i the only one? the fact is, unfortunately, it’s hard for wlw to actually meet each other and find connections. your relationship status is not a reflection of whether or not you’re “worthy” of love. you are. and you’re not as alone as you feel right now, i promise. there are people out there just like you, feeling just as hopeless and alone. you just haven’t had the chance to find each other yet.

Best Lines From Each Hamilton Song

Alexander Hamilton: You could never back down, you never learned to take your - TIME

Aaron Burr, Sir: Talk Less. Smile More.

My Shot: I think ya pants look hot ;)

The Story of Tonight: Raise a glass to freedom…

Schuyler Sisters: You want a revolution? I want a revelation!

Farmer Refuted: Is he in Jersey?

You’ll Be Back: I will kill your friends and family… to remind you of, my, love DA DA DA D-

Right Hand Man: Burr! Sir? Close the door on your way out.

Winters Ball: If you could marry a sister, you’re rich son. Is it a question of if Burr, or which one?

Helpless: Laughing at my sister cause she wants to form a harem: I’m just saying if you really loved me you would share him. HA!

Satisfied: … He’d be mine. She would say “I’m fineshe’d be lying.

The Story of Tonight (Reprise): You are the worst, Burr

Wait For It: When they died they left no instructions, just a legacy to protect 

Stay Alive: I’m a general. WEEE!!

Ten Duel Commandents: Okay so we’re doing this

That Would Be Enough: And if this child shares a fraction of your smile, or a fragment of your mind, look out world, that would be enough.

Guns And Ships: No one has more resilience or matches my practical tactical BRILLIANCE.

History Has Its Eyes On You: You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story.

Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down): Immigrants, we get the job done.

What Comes Next: Awesome. Wow.

Dear Theodosia: I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll make a million mistakes.

Nonstop: Hamilton wrote THE OTHER FIFTY-ONE

What’d I Miss?: I guess I basically missed the late 80’s.

Cabinet Battle #1: Turn around, bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits.

Take a Break: You’ve written “My Dearest, Angelica…. “

Say No To This: That was my wife who you decided to- fuuu

The Room Where It Happens: The art of the compromise, hold your nose and close your eyes.

Schuyler Defeated: They don’t need to know me they don’t like you.

Cabinet Battle #2: You must be outta your GODDAMN MIND

Washington On Your Side: SOUTHERN MOTHERFUCKING DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS!!!

One Last Time: I’m sorry wha-?

I Know Him: They will tear each other into pieces, Jesus Christ this will be fun :D

Adams Administration: Siddown John YOU FAT MOTHER——

We Know: My god…

Hurricane: … We were sick and she was holding me, I couldn’t seem to die.

The Reynolds Pamphlet: You could never be satisfied, god I hope your satisfied.

Burn: You, you, you

Blow Us All Away: Everything is legal in New Jersey…

Stay Alive (Reprise): I know, you did everything just right.

It’s Quiet Uptown: Forgiveness. Can you imagine?

The Election of 1800: Well I’ll be damned…

Your Obedient Servant: Here’s an itemised list of thirty years of disagreements. Sweet Jesus

The World Was Wide Enough: America, you great unfinished symphony, you sent for me.

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: Oh I can’t wait to see you again, it’s only a matter of time.


Bonus Songs:

Congratulations: You know why Jefferson can do what he wants? He doesn’t dignify schoolyard taunts with a response

Dear Theodosia (Reprise): We bleed and fight for you, sometimes it seems that’s all we do.

Ten Things, One Thing (I genuinely can’t decide between these five so here you go):

- The sun is in my eyes. I am almost giddy as I watch it slowly rise over my New York City.

- I examine the gun that we shared. Philip never hurt a soul, he must have been so scared.

- I feel a sense of calm fill me, it’s not in his political interest to kill me.

- My Eliza is still asleep. I left her a letter, I could have written it better.

- They put us through our paces, we count to ten. God, I can’t wait to see her again.


Just a quick note to say I didn’t forget Tomorrow There’ll Be More of Us, I just decided against including it because, in Lin’s own words, it’s more of a scene than a song. Really it’s just the The Story of Tonight sung over some quite, uneventful dialouge (very poetic given the content of that dialouge) so I decided to just leave it out. Anyways thanks for reading my random post I guess? Bye bye

Imagine there’s billion of people sitting around thinking that life shouldn’t happen this way. Holding their own worlds inside their minds. Creating an imagination of how good life must be.

And then there’s another billion walking throughout the day—working hard just to survive and sleep their exhaustion at night. People who did a cycle they love—and secretly hate at the same time.

But I know you’re thinking that there’s still another billion of people looking for love. Who never surrender on finding and hoping for a romantic relationship that would lasts. People who keep on pushing themselves up just to reach a dream they always wanted from the very start.

There’s also billion of people who are still wondering what they want in life. People who are still trying to figure out which way should they cross. And which place they are going to call home.

Billion of people are loving each other. Sharing moments and making memories they want to remember later on. People who already found someone who they can share their secrets forever.

You see, I am not sure what another billion of people is doing now. Maybe they are asleep and dreaming their hearts out. Maybe they are awake—wondering why happiness doesn’t come at their doors. Maybe they are out there, confused of what they should really do.

And so the last billion—the people who will tell you a lot of things about their experiences. People who can tell you what truly it feels to live, and to die even if you’re still breathing. People who never get tired of telling their stories even if other people think nobody are listening. People who will tell you the wrong things you shouldn’t do, and remind you of the right things you should do. Yet in the end they will end up telling you that you make your own story, so do whatever it is that feels right for you.

I don’t know exactly how many people are here. But I am sure that each— billion—has different stories—to tell , and has the same lessons for them—to share.

—  ma.c.a // I counted all the feelings, And it was not accurate
I’m not a saint.

So there are some negative vibes on Petblr, y’all.  I wanted to share a story, and encourage everyone else to share too.  This is the story of how I got to where I am now.

Who here considers themselves to be good fish keepers?  I’ve seen you out there, there are a lot of you!  Cool.  Out of you, who had a bowl or tank that was far less than what your pet deserved?  Not all of you, because many of you did the research first, but likely a few of you.  How, when, and why did you change?  I’m hashtagging this as #fish timeline and #pet timeline because I want to see stories of others who have developed and changed.

No graphic or sick fish images ahead, just pictures of betta in inadequate habitats.

Keep reading

HAMILTON : AN AMERICAN MUSICAL  → STARTERS

  • ❛ he was longing for something to be a part of. ❜
  • ❛ and the world is gonna know your name. ❜
  • ❛ there’s a million things i haven’t done, but just you wait. ❜
  • ❛ you never learned to take your time. ❜
  • ❛ talk less…smile more. ❜
  • ❛ who’s the best? c’est moi! ❜
  • ❛ the plan is to fan this spark into a flame. ❜
  • ❛ i’m not throwing away my shot. ❜
  • ❛ i may not live to see our glory, but i will gladly join the fight !  ❜
  • ❛ they’ll tell the story of tonight. ❜
  • ❛ tomorrow there’ll be more of us. ❜
  • ❛ i’m looking for a mind at work. ❜
  • ❛ look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now. ❜
  • ❛ oh my god. tear this dude apart. ❜
  • ❛ i will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love… ❜
  • ❛ dying is easy, young man… living is harder. ❜
  • ❛ then you walked in and my heart went ‘boom’! ❜
  • ❛ you look at me and suddenly i’m helpless. ❜
  • ❛ i am so into you. ❜
  • ❛ i’m just saying if you really loved me, you would share him. ❜
  • ❛ love doesn’t discriminate from the sinners and the saints. ❜
  • ❛ i’m willing to wait for it. ❜
  • ❛ i am the one thing in life i can control. ❜
  • ❛ call me son one more time —…. ❜
  • ❛ i don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing. ❜
  • ❛ that would be enough. ❜
  • ❛ and we could be enough. ❜
  • ❛ let me a part of the narrative in the story they will write one day. ❜
  • ❛ you have no control : who lives, who dies, who tells your story. ❜
  • ❛ history has its eyes on you. ❜
  • ❛ awesome. wow. ❜
  • ❛ i’ll make the world safe and sound for you. ❜
  • ❛ why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room? ❜
  • ❛ what’d i miss? ❜
  • ❛ run away with us for the summer. ❜
  • ❛ take a break. ❜
  • ❛ well, hate the sin, love the sinner. ❜
  • ❛ no one else was in the room where it happened. ❜
  • ❛ and then we’ll teach them how to say goodbye. ❜
  • ❛ we both know what we know. ❜
  • ❛ i will choose her happiness over mine every time. ❜
  • ❛ god, i hope you’re satisfied. ❜
  • ❛ i saved every letter you wrote me. ❜
  • ❛ you built me palaces out of paragraphs. ❜
  • ❛ be careful with that one, love, he will do what it takes to survive. ❜
  • ❛ when you were mine, the world seemed to burn. ❜
  • ❛ the world has no right to my heart. ❜
  • ❛ i hope that you burn. ❜
  • ❛ everything is legal in new jersey… ❜
  • ❛ i’m so sorry for forgetting what you taught me. ❜
  • ❛ it’s quiet uptown. ❜
  • ❛ they are trying to do the unimaginable. ❜
  • ❛ there are moments that the words don’t reach. ❜
  • ❛ forgiveness. can you imagine? ❜
  • ❛ i had only one thought before the slaughter. ❜
  • ❛ i imagine death so much, it feels more like a memory. ❜
  • ❛ what is a legacy? it’s planting seeds in a garden you will never see. ❜
  • ❛ death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. ❜
  • ❛ i survived, but i paid for it. ❜
  • ❛ have i done enough? will they tell my story? ❜
Fluffy the Tortoise

When I was a little girl, I had a pet tortoise. I named it ‘Fluffy’ because I always wanted a pet named Fluffy (furthermore I had no authority to name pets, my brother always gets to name our cats) 

We had 2 tortoises as a matter of fact. One for me, one for my brother. We kept them in this container and it was kinda high so they can’t flip over. One day, I went to visit Fluffy and it’s buddy but there was only one tortoise in it. I asked my brother, 

“What happened to Fluffy? I can’t see him!”

“Fluffy ran away” he said 

Fluffy is a tortoise so it couldn’t have gotten far. So little me searched high and low for it but to my dismay, it simply vanished. 

So a few days ago, I told this story to my cousin. While I was telling the story, I found myself stopping mid-sentence as a huge wave of realization crashed into me. Fluffy didn’t run away. 

FLUFFY DIED. 

My brother hid the truth from me to protect my feelings. 

It took me 20 years to realize this.

Mutsuki, Gratuity, and Violence

Mutsuki’s behavior is shocking to say the least. There’s been a lot of speculation made of exactly why his character made the turn it did from introduction to this point. I’m going to attempt to give my own personal interpretation, on putting together an arc for Mutsuki, and what point Ishida intends thematically by bringing out Mutsuki’s violent side the way he did. Note, this meta is almost entirely about violence, so besides spare mentions of torso the sexual aspect of Mutsuki’s character are not going to be explored. I’ll do that in a later post.

 Read more under the cut:

Keep reading

Thoughts about Justin Foley

There is something that bothers in Justin’s story and the way people react to it. The truth is, Justin did let his friend rape his girlfriend and he did not do anything about it, I am not denying that.
However, Hannah was in the room and she did not do anything either. Reason? She was drunk and scared. And the truth is, so was Justin. I think both of them could have done something to stop Bryce but none of them did. Now, the problem is that people actually expected Justin to stop Bryce rather than Hannah. Why? Because this is what patriarchal society teaches us: the guy is supposed to defend his girl / a girl cannot defend herself or defend another girl against a guy. And that’s wrong. Truth it, Hannah is as guilty as Justin in all this, but people consider Hannah innocent mostly because she is a girl and she was scared whereas Justin, a guy, should have been strong, should have fought for his girl. 

I do believe Justin is more than just a guy who let his best friend force his way onto his girlfriend. He did it, that’s true, and he has no excuse. However, I think we still have a lot to learn from Justin’s character. He is a deeply troubled boy, caught up in a toxic friendship. Truth is, Bryce is behind all of Justin’s actions. That does not mean Justin’s innocent, that just means he’s been influenced by Bryce and I believe that is something to consider. 
Besides, regarding the fact that Justin lied to Jessica about what truly happens, I think it’s important to consider the fact that Justin, just like Hannah was traumatized. Hannah did not go to the police or told Jessica either. Both Justin and Hannah were silenced by trauma because that’s what violence does, that’s what rape does.

I actually had a course on rape and gender violence this year and we talked a lot about how victim-blaming is a major issue regarding the way people deal with rape. In a lot of rape cases, especially when the rapist was someone close to the rape survivor, the victim’s first move is to question themselves, to doubt themselves and to blame themselves. The victim’s first move isn’t always to blame the rapist, especially if they knew them. And I see a little of this in all this story. Jessica keeps hanging out with Bryce even when she finds out what he did and so does Justin, because at first, I don’t think they blame him. They’re both traumatized, they don’t think straight or rationnally. They don’t blame the right person. This is a very usual behavior when it comes to sexual assault and rape issues. Now all this is maybe just a theory, or some personnal thoughts but I can’t help and see a little of that in Justin and Jessica’s story. 

When I saw Justin leave his mom’s house with a gun, I was scared he would shoot himself, but I am glad he didn’t. Because I do believe Justin’s character can evolve, a lot. He still has a lot to learn, a lot to work on. He has to learn how not to depend on Bryce, how to stand up for himself and the people he loves. That’s why I think Justin, even if guilty, is still an interesting character.

[Please share your thoughts with me, and don’t hesitate to correct me if I’m wrong!]

        Transgender Day of Visibility is an important and vital day to celebrate those of us who are living as our authentic selves.  We can stand united in pride rather than shame and show the world our strength through our vulnerability.  As Laverne Cox said, “It is revolutionary for any trans person to choose to be seen and visible in a world that tells us we shouldn’t exist.”  As our community gains more visibility, the hate and misunderstanding of who we are becomes more visible as well.  Murder rates and hate crimes against our community, especially trans women of color, have risen each year.  Rejection from friends and family often leads to homelessness.  Children face bullying, harassment, and high suicide rates.  Many of us experience workplace discrimination, live well beyond the poverty level, and we can still legally be fired in 32 states simply because we are transgender.  Lawmakers are introducing one bill after another that marginalize and attempt to exclude us from society.  Now, more than ever, visibility is necessary to help change hearts and minds.  


        I remember when my parents bought a computer and set up an internet connection when I was in Jr. High.  I was finally able to research why I felt like a girl trapped in a boy’s body.  I learned about the term transgender and that I wasn’t alone.  For the first time, I no longer felt like a freak or outsider.  I gained hope and strength through the stories of those who had chosen to be visible.  However, I still lived in fear of what my family and friends would think.  Suicide was a constant thought in my mind because I was tired of pretending to be who I wasn’t meant to be.  Societal norms and expectations weighed me down and I became an introvert.  I fought who I was and lived in shame and fear until I was 29.  I had been married for 7 years and when that ended I was broken and defeated.  In my mind, I had two options, suicide or transition because I could no longer go through the motions and pretend to be happy.  


         Five years ago, I chose transition over suicide and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.  Even though I lost friends and family who disagreed with who I am, I gained so much more.  Truly loving myself for the first time allowed me to connect with others like I had never been able to before.  I was finally happy and free!  I chose to document my transition online and share my story with the world because I knew how important visibility was for others who were going through similar struggles.  This gave me the opportunity to inspire and encourage people to live their lives authentically and to love who they are.  The response I received was amazing and, in turn, it gave me the courage and confidence I needed to be more visible offline.  I began sharing my story with almost everyone and the friendships I developed have been rewarding and eye opening.  


          Over the years, I have been asked why I do not move past saying I am transgender and live my life as a woman.  My response, is that visibility is vital and I am proud of who I am.  To me, the term transgender doesn’t define my gender identity, it defines how hard I have fought to be the woman I am today.  Sharing our stories and our struggles truly opens hearts and minds to change and acceptance.  I have learned that most people, when given the chance, do not care about labels.  They care about the person that is front of them and the connection that is developed.  I’m thankful for a day that celebrates who I am despite the fear and hate directed at us but we need to celebrate who we are every day.  Life is a gift and can truly be amazing if you allow yourself to love who you are with unapologetic authenticity.  Together we can make a difference in this world and slowly we will make it a safer, better place for those following in our footsteps.  

an apology letter to my muse
—  i am sorry that i made a poetry out of every word you said and i am sorry that many a times i painted you as the villain of my stories when you probably were the hero. i am sorry that i told the world your secrets that you shared with me at 2.17am on the nights when it rained a little less and at 1.39am on the nights that were warmer than usual. i am sorry that i talked about you to complete strangers and that i knew more about you than you yourself did. i am sorry if someone ever comes up to you to ask about why you broke my heart, because you didn’t break my heart, i did that and put the blame on you. i am sorry if i made you stay up nights with me because no one could calm down the voices in my head like you did and no one worried about me like you did and so i told you my problems and sometimes made them yours. i am sorry that i talk to my friends about you and sometimes things get out of hand. i am sorry that i never told you how much i love you because i can’t bear to lose our friendship and i can’t bear rejection. i am sorry for all the times i cursed you at 3am because my stupid brain couldn’t stop thinking of you.
i am sorry that i kind of used you to break my heart over and over again even after it was already broken just to feel the pain so that i could write about it all. i am sorry that i couldn’t let go of you when i should have, i am sorry that i am still holding on, i am sorry.

In today’s episode of “Mom why are you like this”:

Last night as I’m driving home from Wonder Woman, I get a text from my mom.

She apparently somehow found herself in a Supercorp YouTube black hole, and wanted to share the videos with me. Mind you, she’s never seen the show in her life. And I am dying bc here’s my mom watching gay ass Supercorp vids on her own and gradually starting to ship it.

“There’s so many of them…it’s kinda sweet.”

“Mom when tv doesn’t give enough LGBT stories we have to make our own.”

“That’s really shitty….but I think you’re right. Kara and Lena love each other.”

😭😭😭😂😂😂

Edit: I’m still not sure how she found them 🤷🏻‍♀️

I get such a sick feeling in my stomach when I think about you with somebody else.

Somebody touching you, kissing you, feeling you makes me so sad, but you know what’s even more fucked up?

When I think about you with someone else sitting on a beach at 2 am listening to the sound of the waves.

Do you want to know why this makes me so sad?

Because that’s what you do with a person you really care about.
I mean you can have sex with everyone even without feelings.

But you will never find yourself sitting on a beach with someone, at 2 am who you don’t care about. Sharing stories in the sand with thousands of stars above you.

So yes. The thought of you with someone else at the beach sitting together, talking about life makes me more sad then everything else on this planet.

Because i want it to be me who spends the night with you at the beach. Watching stars, listening to the waves, building sand castles in the dark, drinking the cheap wine out of the bottle while laughing so hard that we spit it everywhere.

—  I want it to be me
“It’s gone...all gone...” - Batsis (Reader) x Batfamily

Summary Batsis is EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED after she accidentally erase from her computer the entirety of the novel she has been working hard on for the past three years… 

Because I’m actually very frustrated with myself right now (refer to that post if you wanna know more), and thought that the best solution was to turn all that frustration into a story, and sorry if it’s pretty bad, it’s literally something I just came up with, and wrote in twenty minutes, because I was so damn frustrated, and here it is : 

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

_______________________________________________________________________

-TIIIIIIIIM !! TIIIIIIIIIIIIM !! HELP ME PLEASE COME FAAAAST !!!!!!!! 

Your screams of panic wakes your brother up from a good nap he was having, and he runs to your bedroom as fast as he can, almost falling down stairs, slipping on the wooden floor in his socks. He burst into your room, ready to fight, and finds you sat at your desk, shaking your computer desperately. 

-Timmy, please do something, I just did something, don’t ask me what I don’t even know it just kinda happened, I pushed some fucking keys on my computer, and my novel just disappeared ! 

He stares at you for a few seconds, a bit in disbelief, before finally answering :

-…Wait, that’s your emergency ? Are you kidding me (Y/N)? 

-Au contraire mon frère, I’m super serious ! My novel alright ?! I’ve been working on it for the past three years, I was almost done !! IT CAN’T BE ALL GONE ALRIGHT !?

As you said those last words, you stood up and grabbed your brother by the collar of his shirt. Realizing what you just did, you let go of him, and straighten him a bit, forcing a smile on your face. 

-Can you, please, my dear and adorable little brother, check my computer to see if it can be retrieved ? 

Tim was a little stunned, he never saw you like that before. It was pretty much the exact opposite in fact, you were known to be the calmest and more collected of the batkids. You usually were the one calming them down…In that sense, you were a lot like your father. So seeing you being so…hysterical, was a bit unsettling. 

-Ok calm down, we can probably retrieve your file. Most files can be recovered from computers. Hell, remember when I got some back from the bat computer after it’d been completely torched down ?

-Yes, I’m hoping for another one of your miracle here. Don’t disappoint bro’. 

-I won’t. 

And on that note, Tim cracked his knuckles and went to work. 

Keep reading

Little witch (Part 5)

Pairings: Peter x reader

Word count: 2569

Summary: The reader is raised by Hydra but manages to escape after they kill her parents. She is emotionally unstable and can’t control her powers. The Avengers rescue her and give her everything she missed form life and wanted to feel. But would her new found love be enough to extinguish her desire for revenge? What would be the side she would choose to rely on? Will she be ready to face the real her?

A/N: I am so sorry i am posting this so late. My apologizes for the mistakes you will probably find ♥ It’s my final week of school so i hope you understand why i am posting it so late and why your requests are taking so much time. Please tell me what your opinion about the story. And i am really interested what you think would happen. Please share it with me :3 Enjoy! 

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Originally posted by kiingholland

“Up, down, backwards, kick. Again! Try to attack the unprotected zones! Good, now jump, kick, that’s right. Now-”, Steve’s commands were interrupted by the loud sound of someone being thrown badly on the floor.

“Ouch!”

“Are you okay?”, Steve asked the victim but didn’t give it a try to cover his smile.

“Yes, Captain. I am fine.”, Peter rose his thumbs and tried to stand up.

“I am sorry Pete but you weren’t paying enough attention. And I really wanted to punch you.”, (Y/N) stated as she gave a hand to Peter in order to help him to get on his feet.

“You are getting your ass beaten up by a girl. What a shame boy!”, Tony exclaimed. He had entered the training hall seconds before seeing how the little witch knocked down the spider-boy.

“You are a great fighter and I have no idea if I should be happy about it or not.”, the captain was observing (Y/N)’s technique since they began training. For a period of two weeks it was hard for him to predict what she was going to do. He had talked with Natasha after seeing how the girl beaten up the famous Black Widow but Nat was amazed by her movements as Steve, “Hydra had achieved their goals. You are better than Nat. Well, not as they probably wanted, but still.”

Hearing the name of the organization that took everything away from her, she almost fell again in the deep. Different feelings were surging in her. The girl clenched fists, took a deep breath and relaxed. After a month of training with Bruce and Wanda she was able to control her powers somehow. She was thought how to use her rage without letting it to overwhelm her body, mind, actions.

“What do you mean? She is amazing with cold weapons, Rogers.”, Tony exclaimed and walked down to them, “Let’s call her The Slicer!”, the man was too enthusiastic for the others to take him seriously.

“The Slicer? What a terrible name.”

“Take your word back captain or a new Civil War will erupt.”

“I like it. It makes me look dangerous.”

“You are a dangerous woman but I think it’s not for you.”, Peter expressed his opinion, “It’s for a coldhearted killer, while you are…”

“What am I Pete?”, (Y/N) came closer to the boy smirking and waited for his answer. She didn’t miss to spot the way he gulped nervously and rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand, “You are emitting nervousness. Why?”, the witch asked in a sweet and yet flirtatious voice, “Is it because of me?”

“I-um.”, another gulp, “No, yes, I mean…Argh!”, the boy covered his face and whispered something like ‘How can you be so desperately stupid?’

“Wait, why are you here?”, Steve suddenly asked Tony.

“Maybe because this building is all mine and I want to roam through it.”

The girl laughed, Steve gave an eye roll while Peter relaxed when the subject was changed and it took (Y/N)’s attention.

“Okay, okay. Stop that look! It makes me want to punch you in your perfect face.”. Tony stated and then continued, “I and Thor decided to throw a party so be ready in eight.”

“What?! A party ?! Why?”, Peter asked all of a sudden.

“Because my little kid you need to know how to have fun in your life. It’s not only the thick books you stuck your nose into.”, and with that the famous genius, billionaire, playboy and philanthropist man exited the room.

“Well we have like 5 hours until the party. Let’s continue working.”, (Y/N) suggested. It was her way to reduce the feelings inside her.  They were all going out and in the end of the exercises she felt much relaxed and calmed although her body was a little exhausted.

“Oh you continue. I am worn out so I will take a rest.”

“I thought you were a durable boy, Parker.”, the girl smirked as she saw the boy turning around immediately.

“I am!”

“But you got exhausted just from some slight punches.”, the witch came closer to the boy not breaking eye contact again.

“I might be not showing my full potential only because I don’t want to hurt you.”, at this time the teenagers were both smirking while Steve was looking with interest what was about to happen.

“Don’t spare me Spider-boy. Show me your super strength and you’ll see I can bear it.”

“If you are asking so politely. But don’t you dare complain after that your body is aching.”

“Oh, the sexual tense between the two of you has filled the whole room.”, Nat spoken. The witch and the spider-boy separated from each other looking away, “Don’t act as though you were shy. If it wasn’t in the training room someone would think you were about to break the bed.”

“Will you guys stop interrupting our training!?”, the girl asked in annoyance. The Avengers kept coming and if another one had showed up he could had possibly ended in the medical wing.

“Yeah, if you were actually training.”, (Y/N) gave the redhead an eye roll and waited for her answer. For one month she got used to all the teasing and jokes the heroes like to share between them, “You must spent less time with Wanda and Stark. However, I am here for the party. I assume Tony have told you so. Would you like to go with Wanda to buy a dress or something?”

“Shopping isn’t my thing and Will. Never. Be.”

“You were my only hope. Now I have to go to the shops.”, agent Romanoff looked like a small child whose mother just had told him she would not by him the toy he wanted.

“Sorry Nat. Oh, if you like something could you take it for me?”

“Yes, but you will owe me!”, Nat declared as she exited the room.

“That was a big mistake, (Y/N).”, the teenagers’ trainer for today stated out loud, “Anyone who have owed her something hasn’t ended good.”

“I will find a way to trick her.”, the girl gave a smile to the captain and the three of them continued working out. (Y/N) was without a doubt the best of them all, even the captain, but Peter managed to beat her five times which was a great success.

“Don’t hurt them!”, she screamed, “Mummy! Daddy! I am here! We will get out of here!”

“They can’t hear you.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Show me your powers. Revile them!”

“I-I can’t! Don’t you understand, I CAN’T!”, she shouted, tears rolling down her face. She didn’t want to lose them, not now.

“You don’t give us another option. Enjoy the show.”

Screams filled the room but this time an explosion didn’t happen. Instead the girl stayed in the room looking at her dead parents on the floor.

‘It’s your fault! It’s your fault! IT’S YOUR FAULT!’, the voices filled the small place she was locked into. They were shouting and screaming in agony.

“Please stop! Stop! I did what I could to save you!”, but with each word spoken the voices became louder and louder deadening the girl’s obeys,

“IT IS YOUR FAULT WE ARE DEAD!”, her parents’ voices kept screaming and filling the room while the girl crouched in the corner of the room whispering:

“Sorry, sorry, sorry! I did all I could”

“YOU ARE THE ONE WHO KILLED US! YOUR HANDS ARE COVERED IN OUR BLOOD, YOU FILTHY SPAWN!”

(Y/N) woke up from her nightmare breathing heavily. Since day one she kept dreaming the same thing every night. This time it wasn’t different. She continues seeing her parents dying and blaming her for it. At first she started believing them but after Wanda had seen her dream by accident everything changed. (Y/N) did her best to believe Wanda’s words that she wasn’t guilty, that Hydra had manipulated her in order to get what they wanted but something deep inside her was still feeling it was her fault. She had to be better and they could have lived till today.

The witch looked at the clock next to her bed. It was 6:30pm. She had an hour and half until the party. She stood up and went straight to the bathroom. The water was hot, slightly burning her skin but the girl didn’t minded. She liked it, the mist that caused her to breathe hard, the water that relaxed her body. (Y/N) wanted to stay there longer and to wash all the stress away but the time was flying. After brushing her teeth and putting underwear on she went back to her room. As she entered it someone did the same from the other door. With no surprise, it was Peter.

“(Y/N) are you- Oh mu gosh!”, as he entered in a hurry he fastened to spin around.

“Tell me, Parker…are your spider senses telling you when I am half or fully naked so you can enter in that moment?

“This time I knocked!”, the boy tried to protect himself, “You didn’t answer so I decided to check out what is going on.”

“Only to be sure I am okay?”

“I know it sounds stupid but I care about you and-”, and all of a sudden he shut up with eyes wide opened. (Y/N) blushed at his words but tried to cover it so he would not see it.

“I am flattered you wanna make sure I’m alright but I can handle myself, Parker.”, the girl gave Peter a smile.

“Yeah, okay, I will leave now.”

“No, wait!”

“What?”, the boy was surprised (Y/N) didn’t want him to leave after he saw her half naked for one god knew what time in a roll.

“I have problems with what to wear tonight. Would you stay and help me choose?”

This time both blushed and smiled. Peter accepted and closed the door. He sat on the bed looking at the beautiful girl in front of him. He scanned her body with only one look and gulped in nervousness. She was gorgeous and not only because of her appearance. The girl was a complex character. Once she was confident and sarcastic, other times shy and insecure, on training she was like a killing machine when training with Steve. At those times she scared him but he knew that she was just a broken porcelain doll that would never be repaired and look the same as before. But Peter wanted to be the strength holding all the pieces together. The one being her anchor, to help her get through all of this and to show she wasn’t alone. There was a person that cared and he wanted the girl to understand it. Peter wished to show her all the things she missed – the happiness, the games everyone plays as s child, the feelings of having a first love and the butterflies you feel in your stomach when you kiss, the moments when you cry from joy, laughing, bliss. He wanted not only to make her feel the good part of life but to feel all the things with her. The boy wanted to make this girl happy and to be the reason she was smiling. And when she smiled form heart at his jokes or stupidity he smiled too.  

On the other hand, as the boy was looking at (Y/N) with something like love she felt insecure. When he had entered the room she spoke from annoyance but now she finally understood she was just in her underwear in front of a boy she asked to stay and help her. The girl bit her lip and turned around facing the wardrobe. She opened it and hurried to take the first clothes that she saw. It happened to be simply jeans and tank top.

“Well, you look beautiful in them I have seen but they are too ordinary for the event.”

“What about this one?”, (Y/N) showed the boy a black skirt

“It might work but what would you put on top?”

The witch grabbed almost all of the clothes that were in the wardrobe and began dressing. Peter rejected the combinations thinking it wasn’t for the situation or that the clothes weren’t fitting right.

“It’s 7:45 and I still have no idea what to put on me!”, (Y/N) sat next to the boy and was about to cry. He tried to calm her down but no boy knows the feeling of having a full wardrobe and no clothes to wear. It was despairing. As Pete was about to say something someone knocked on the door. (Y/N) stood up and went to open it. There was Wanda holding three bags in her hands.

“This is for you. I am sorry I am bringing them so late but put them on and come downstairs with Peter. Don’t be late!”

(Y/N) was surprised when Wanda mentioned Peter but it was probably one of her powers that showed her the teenagers were both in the room.

The girl opened the bags. In the first one she found just the perfect outfit, in the second she found some jewelry and in the third one there was a suit for Peter.

“This one is for you.”, (Y/N) handed the boy his outfit.

“What? Really? Why would they buy a suit for me?”

“I don’t care. Go to the bathroom and put it on. I want to see in something different than jeans ash shirt or your spider suit.”

“Okay, okay. I am going! No need to rush me.”, the boy smiled as he entered the bathroom where he began changing. (Y/N) hurried to change too although she had nothing to be ashamed of. She spent an hour half naked in front of Peter…why was she now feeling insecure? However the girl put the clothes on and looked at the mirror. She was wearing a black tight skirt that ended some centimeters above her knees. The top was short, simple and shower the upper part of her stomach. The way it outlined her curves made the girl look at herself from another angle. For the first time in her life she felt beautiful just because of some clothes. As she finished putting the necklace on, Peter came in the room in his suit. He was trying to put his tie on but with no result.  

“Will you help me?”, Peter asked innocently.

“Yeah.”, (Y/N) murmured after some seconds as she took some time to observe him, “But I don’t think it is necessary.”, as she came closer she took the tie away and removed the black top of the suit. Now he was standing only in his trousers and white shirt that had the top buttons undone.

“You look hot.” , they both looked at each other with wide eyes. Thanks God, she said only this not how she wanted to kiss him right now and bury her hands in his messy hair.

“Thanks.”, Peter smirked as he took his time to observe the girl in front of him, “But I am afraid you are overshadowing me. You are just stunning in this outfit.”, the girl smiled brightly and looked at Peter who was grinning too, “Shall we?”, her offered his hand.

“Let’s go to the party.”, the witch took his hand and they both went downstairs where they could hear the loud music and people talking.

Part 6

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My asexuality/”why awareness is important” story

When I was a teen, growing up in a small town in 1980s Mississippi, there were only 2 options as far as I knew:  Either you were gay or your were straight.  Because I was exceedingly liberal for the time and place (though probably less liberal than I am now) and because I wanted desperately to leave Mississippi, I spent a lot of time learning as much as I could about the outside world.  I spent hours at the library my high school shared with the local university reading the Village Voice and dreaming of going in New York City.    Because of this, and because I was a huge fan of Erasure, I figured out that there was nothing wrong with being gay.  Which was good, because I knew I wasn’t straight.  I couldn’t be:  I liked looking at pretty guys too much, and I got crushes on my male friends.

On the other hand, I also knew that I liked looking at pretty girls too, and I regularly developed crushes on my female friends.  So I lay awake at night, my thoughts spinning in my head  “I like boys, so I can’t be straight.  But I like girls, so I can’t be gay.  But I like boys…”  Repeat ad nauseum.

Fast forward to the early 90s.  I was going to college in New Orleans.  This exposed me to much more of the world than I would have seen had I remained in Mississippi.  But it didn’t bring me any closer to figuring things out until my second semester, when there was a rash of people in the dorm coming out as bisexual.  Aha!  A lightbulb went on in my head.  THIS must be what I was.  I could like both boys and girls!  But something still didn’t feel right.  Though I made out with people and liked it, I passed up chances to have sex with people of both genders.  Finally one of my female friends basically harassed me into sleeping with her (at the time I didn’t recognize date rape for what it was - the early 90s were a much less aware time, at least for me).  And when I met the woman who later became my wife, she was the one who made the first move sexually, as well as the second and third moves and most of the others.  

Fast forward again, last 2015.  My wife and I are still together and have had 2 kids.  But no one looking at our sex life would ever mistake it for a “normal” sex life (to the extent that there is such a thing).  But I still feel that something’s not right.  I’m not unhappy, but at the same time, my main feeling about sex is a resounding “meh.”  I research various fetishes and relationship styles on the internet, but nothing really feels right - some seem like they might be a lot of fun, but the whole idea just collapses for me once genitals get involved.  When I watch a TV show about pickup artists, and besides being repulsed at all the dishonesty involved, my thought is “That seems like an awful lot of work for sex.”  

Then one day I stumbled on a page about the difference between romantic orientation and sexual orientation.  And then I learn about asexuality.  And finally, after all this time, I figured it out.  I’m panromantic and asexual.  All of a sudden so many things from my past made sense.  SO MANY THINGS!  And while I’m very glad that I understand it now, I’m also rather frustrated at the time lost because I didn’t have this knowledge years and years before.  I could have been spared so much mental anguish and so many sleepless nights if I had known.

Which brings us to why I think awareness is important:  Because kids aren’t going to be straight just because they don’t know about the alternatives.  They’ll still be whatever they are; they’ll just feel confused and agitated and WRONG because they don’t fit in to the alternatives that they’ve been told about.

professor marston & the wonder women movie review

Yesterday night, I was very lucky (my bank account, not so much) to go to London to see Professor Marston & the Wonder Women, a movie which I’d been waiting for ever since Luke Evans was cast in it. The reviews were positive and my friend @johnsmoore had loved it after seeing it at TIFF, but despite my excitement (which had already increased after seeing Wonder Woman), part of me was still a little nervous, and I hoped the movie would make my trip 100% worth it.

It did.

Professor Marston & the Wonder Women is a love story. But not just any love story: it’s a love story about ‘unconventional’ people (as they say) but told with love, care and respect. If I hadn’t been so focused on trying not to noise my never ending feeling of satisfaction and gratefulness, I would have cried all the way through.

I didn’t cry, but I laughed a lot (it was so, so funny!), and I spent (almost) the whole movie smiling so hard I had to bite the inside of my cheek to remind myself to chill if I didn’t want my face to hurt by the time the movie was over. And this movie… it was pure and honest and beautiful and fun and so, so full of love.

Elizabeth is bold and hilarious and fierce. Olive is brave and soft and strong. William is good-hearted and passionate and determined. You’re gonna love that trio. You’re going to feel for them and hurt with them and fall in love with them at the same time they fall in love with each other. I know I did. The cast did a wonderful, wonderful job. Rebecca Hall was simply phenomenal. Luke Evans was full of strong gentleness. Bella Heathcote an example of strength and vulnerability combined.

Now, anyone who knows me a bit also knows sex scenes and I aren’t friends. At all. So when pretty much every review I read mentioned the sexual content, I started getting a little bit worried, because reviews don’t usually talk about that. Though they were reassuring, being anxious and a sex-indifferent bordering on sex-repulsed asexual, I needed the movie to reassure me. And it did. 

First of all, it was far from the explicit thing people seemed to promise. I’ve seen much, much more explicit sexual scenes. I’d almost say these were soft. But the point is… they were so, so well done. Sex wasn’t there just to show hot people making out for the sole purpose of having a useless sex scene. Here, sex was passionate and loving and fun! It was such a refreshing take on scenes that usually make me cringe because of how boringly all-the-same and seen through the male gaze and lacking actual feeling they too often are.

Then, you know how biopics can be nice but there’s always a moment when you wonder “okay it’s good and all but how far in are we now”? It’s not a thing here. The movie flows so well, and honestly too fast. When the end was near I was like, “what? already?” I didn’t see time go at all. I wished it would never end. And the penultimate scene! That scene was incredible. It was funny and sad and it will make you want to go on your knees and beg for things to be alright.

When the movie ended, I was an emotional wreck. I couldn’t believe what I’d just seen. A movie about bi women told by LGBTQ+ people? A movie where a woman being in love with another woman and three people loving each other equally is normal and filmed like any ‘classic’ movie romance usually is? A movie that shows a kinky poly and gay relationship in the most simple, positive, and respectful way? 

I’m so thankful this movie exists. I’m so thankful for the laughs and the moments of simple, precious domesticity, of the consent all throughout the story, of how healthy and beautiful it all was, even though it wasn’t always happy. And on a personal level and as a queer person myself, it meant so, so much to me to see my favourite actor in such a story. I have no words to say how much it means to me, but you can believe me when I say it made my heart burst with love for the movie even more than it already was.

Professor Marston & the Wonder Women is shining with love and there is no way you won’t want to give all yours back.

Herding chatty cats.

Not quite a story of play, but I thought I’d share some of the fun of organizing ten separate people, and thirteen total characters, into two DnD groups. I don’t know quite how I managed this, as I’m a first-time player who is not one of the DMs, but here I am, handling most of the deadlines, information collection, information organization, and education of new players.

It’s a lot like herding cats. Thank god for DM2, our most experienced and calm member. Because while I can handle shit like this:

Me: You should consider why your character left home and why they would join the party, as well as writing your backstories.

Human Ranger: Well but my character never LEFT left. Do you mean like why she’s in town for errands?

Me: I… guess?? That can work. Just think about why they’d join the party.

HR: So I should I write a backstory right?

Me: Yes, please. You can post it here or use the orcpub character generator.

HR: -posts two sentences of backstory and information only vaguely related to character sheets into our chat channel-

Me: …I’ll, uh, convert that for you then, thanks.

– DM2 is the one who can tell us when we’re rolling stats wrong, how to select equipment, how to balance the parties, and what the fuck we’ll actually be doing in-game.

Four other players asked me to do similar things for them, too, ack. That’s probably on me, but at least I can make sure they all get roughly the same explanations and all their stuff checks out with DM2. Still, even through the absolute clusterfuck of filing all our information and parlaying between various players, I’m really excited for my first campaigns!

Even if DM1 named his dragonborn for DM2’s campaign

Veridian Obsidian.

*inhales*

boi.