why am i sharing this photo

Do not take, share or search for photos of BTS wherever they are.

Please, let them enjoy this small break they have. Do not let Bon Voyage happen again.

If you see photos - do not share them. If you see the members - do not share their location, take their photo or follow them.

Please. Do not be a part of the reason as to why they feel they always have to stay in their hotel.

If they wanted to share their location with the fan base, they would have. Right now, I do not feel they want this information to be known. Thus, whatever the reasons are, I feel we can respect that.

shoutout to all the lonely wlw, to those who have never been on a date, who’ve never had a girlfriend, who’ve never been kissed or held hands, who feel like they never will have any of that, or deserve it. being a wlw is often extremely isolating and lonely. wlw wedding photos and stories about wlw relationships and stuff are all very valuable and important and need to be shared - it’s proof that we CAN find each other! but it can also intensify those feelings of loneliness - it seems like everybody has had these experiences, is in love or has been once, and you think why am i the only one? the fact is, unfortunately, it’s hard for wlw to actually meet each other and find connections. your relationship status is not a reflection of whether or not you’re “worthy” of love. you are. and you’re not as alone as you feel right now, i promise. there are people out there just like you, feeling just as hopeless and alone. you just haven’t had the chance to find each other yet.

Okay so let me talk about this picture here 

do you remember it? (lol course you do)

back in season 3 Eskild sent this photo to the kollektivet group chat and what did Isak say “Don’t post it anywhere we’re not official or anything” 

and as a live watcher i remember thinking “THEN WHEN ARE YOU OFFICIAL?” and ever since that chat and this photo I had been thinking…when is he going to post it. When is he going to become ‘official’ 

I half expected him to post it right before his season ended, almost as a “here i am and i am proud” photo but it didn’t happen. 

of course we still got a boyfriend selfie, but it didn’t hold the kind of significance this one does. 

This one was taken when Isak was still not ready to be himself yet

this photo represents him telling eskild to still hide it. It represents Isak hiding and not being proud. 

the moment he shares it with the world is the moment he accepts himself and finally is P R O U D of who he is and who he loves 

so now finally here we are. Isak has posted one of the photos taken along with the one above. People are asking “why an old photo? why not one of the many new ones i’m sure they have?….why not just take a new one?” 


he is finally proud of who he is and it is official. 

Eskild you can post it now because it is real. 

I am real

and I am proud

So, the time has come where I have decided to share my hidden Nashcon 2016 Cockles photo op with everyone.

Why did I wait so long? Because I told myself, as a silent promise to Jensen and Misha, I was going to wait one year from the day, before I share it, even though Misha said to share it initially. Haha. Anyway, it’s been four months past the year mark, and I have decided to finally unveil the photo, I know it might garnish some stuff from haters, and I might be called “disrespectful”, however I ask everyone to read below first, on how my situation went down with receiving the photo, and then cast your opinions.

 So, I am waiting in the photo op line nervous as all hell haha, I keep the front of the book hidden the entire time, just patiently and nervously waiting. The book I held in my hands was “The Threesome Handbook”, by Vicki Vantoch (For those who don’t know who she is, she’s the amazing woman married to Misha!!). I’ve had the idea in my mind for nearly a year on how funny it would be to take a photo of the three of us reading it, I could imagine Jensen’s “what the hell position is that?!” Face, I can imagine Misha’s mischevious intrigued face, and then I would just be there looking like a dork, haha, either way, it was a year’s idea in the making. So the time has come and here i am shaking with my book…When it is my turn…I walk up to them…I immediately went to Jensen first because above anyone else, I wanted to get his Blessing for the photo, I didn’t want him to do it if he was not comfortable with it, and I was perfectly fine if he would have declined…So, I’m right in front of Jensen and I say “I completely understand if you don’t want to do this but, if not, it’s okay, but can we do something with this?” I showed him the book Misha’s wife wrote “The Threesome Handbook”, and he was like “With this?” He replied with like a shocked laugh as he pointed at the book, I laughed a bit in embarrassment…Then at this moment Misha comes over to the two of us, he sees the book and giggles as he grabs it, Misha being amused at the sight of the book, all I could do is look on in embarrassment and nervously laugh. At this point however, Jensen’s handler came up right away and was like “ Nope. No. No.” And she snatched the book out of Misha’s hand. So he was like “Oh Well” with a shrug kinda look then I was like “Oh well”, I knew at that point it was the risk of asking, so I didn’t mind. So I turned to Misha and Jensen and was like “Hugs then?” So we did a hug picture. The bliss and awesomeness of being between those two, still sends shivers down my spine. Forgive the capital letters but this was the exciting part…after the picture I THEN HUGGED THEM BOTH AND SAID THANK YOU, THEN THE HANDLER GAVE THE BOOK BACK TO ME. I WAS READY TO WALK AWAY WHEN MISHA GRABBED MY HAND, PULLED ME CLOSE TO HIM AND TOLD THE PHOTOGRAPHER TO TAKE ANOTHER. SO MISHA HUGGED ME WHILE WE HELD THE BOOK AND JENSEN GAVE HIS LIKE “WHAT?!” FACE. I WAS IN SHOCK!!!! SO ALL I HAD ENOUGH REACTION TIME FOR WAS TO MAKE A DORKY LOOKING “Idk, worth a shot” SUGGESTIVE FACE.

It happened so quick…I was not expecting it at all…After the picture all I could do was happily give Misha another hug, and just mutter “Thank you thank Misha”, I gave Jensen one more quick one and kinda high tailed it out of the room shaking.

Now…I was absolutely happy, and just speechless, I had two ops, the op I wanted to do, and I spent more time with them. The thing is though…After some time…I felt bad…because I wasn’t sure if Jensen was upset…or kinda just disappointed, because I felt maybe he didn’t want to do it and it was forced, as much as I appreciate it…To confirm, I decided to apologise to him when I got my autograph…The stressful part of it all, was the timing…See…I had to wait for the pictures to print, I wanted to grab it right away because I know sometimes people take photos of other people’s pictures, and I didn’t want this to get out by someone else’s hand. The thing is Jensen was then signing autographs in the same time…So, I was pacing back and forth from the picture table and the autograph hall to see how the lines were, just as it seemed like autographs were almost over, as they called my row many minutes before, the pictures were put out. LUCKILY I received my picture and I was able to make the line for Jensen, photo hidden. So again I nervously wait in line, when I got to him in line, he recognized me and said “Hey you” and smiled, and of course I was like “Hi” *giggles* and then I said “Jensen I’m really sorry about the book photo op”. He smiled and was like “ah, it’s no problem at all” And I said “Okay I just wanted to make sure you know I didn’t mean anything bad by it” and he said “Don’t worry about it, it’s perfectly fine”. I apologized to his handler also and she said “ Its okay honey, I’m not mad about it” and they both said you have a good night and pretty much don’t worry. So *SIGH OF RELIEF*

Got my autograph and his Blessing!! However me being me, I wanted security…So…To Make sure…When I got my Misha autograph, I walk up to Misha with items in hand to get signed.

Misha: “Oh hey it’s you, how are you?”

Me: “I’m good thank you, how are you?”

Misha: “I’m good, I’m good, are you having fun?

Me: “Yeah, it’s been really great”

*Misha begins to sign my items*

Me: *Nervously* “Can I ask you a question?”

Misha: “Of course go ahead”

Me: “Was Jensen upset with the photo with the book?”

Misha: *smiles, then giggles* “Oh no, he wasn’t upset at all. He would have gone through with it if a certain handler didn’t snatch it away from us”

Me: “Are you sure? I really don’t want him to be upset, I just didn’t think it’d be bad”

Misha: “No, don’t worry about it at all, he wasn’t upset” *Misha hands back items*

Me: “Okay, thank you Misha, thank you. You have a great night” *I say while gathering my stuff*

Misha: “You’re welcome. You too” *Misha smiles*

*I turn to walk away when Misha says to me*

Misha: “Don’t give it a second thought”

I respond by just smiling and saying a relieved “Okay”, and then I turn and head out to the hall.

So…This is that photo, from my amazing Nashcon 2016 time…I hope those viewing, find the humor in it as much as I do…If you’re gonna share it, please just attach this story with it, so people know, that yes while some might find it tasteless, it was done with a calculated understanding of the actor’s feelings behind taking the photo and not without asking their personal consent for it first, the events that unfolded from it, were not expected and were out of my hands, just as well I finally want to thank Misha and Jensen and just as well, Jared!! (Though they may not ever read this haha) for everything they’re do for the fans, it was a great time and is now a hell of a story I can add to my life of events. Everyone else…enjoy. :)

AO3 DragonKitten22
Tumblr Darkhorse2231

sometimes I see stupid comments in different places of this fandom about adding lipstick on (mostly male ofc) characters, so it inspires me to draw/sketch this kind of stuff, hehe.. ( @marinette-buginette omg, sorry hahah)

Adrien had so fab (fight me if pink doesnt suit him) lipstick after one photo shoot, so lately he couldnt stop himself to share with his friends.. in his way, pff  idk what am i doing

(no worries, Chloe will get this too lmao) 

Photographs (Josh Dun)

Originally posted by jcsephsdun

Pairing: Josh Dun/Reader
Words: 1500+
Warning(s): Self-concsiousness
A/N: more josh dun? More Josh Dun. sorry if this seems all over the place, Idk were I was going with it. Alsoooo I made a reference to one of their old vines :3c

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You’re Hot

Also on AO3
This directly follows “Staffing Issues” 

 "Hey Maman, Papa,“ Marinette waved as she trudged through the bakery.

"Good gracious, what happened to you?” her mother demanded.  The few customers joined her parents to gawk at her.

Ugh.  "Akuma,“ she said with a sigh.  God she wanted a nap.  "I guess I’ll be like this until Ladybug and Chat Noir take care of it.”  She shrugged.  "It’s not… bad, is it?“  She hadn’t had a chance to look in a mirror.  Maybe she was so tired because she was ancient.

"Nooooo.”  Her mother said hesitantly.  "Just different.“

"Would it be all right if I take a few photos?” her father asked.  "I’m curious how accurate this is.“

Marinette shrugged.  "Sure.”  She half wanted to assemble a photo album of all the odd things that had been done to her in nearly five years of superhero work.  "But if it’s super embarrassing, please don’t share it.“

Her father pulled out his cell phone and snapped a few photos, one with her mother.  Then she was released to drag herself up the steps to her room.  She toed off her shoes and crawled into her bunk.  "You doing okay Tikki?”

“Yup.”  The little red being floated into Marinette’s view, landing on her pillow.  "All charged and ready when the Chronologer shows back up.“

"Great,” Marinette mumbled.  "Wake me if she turns back up.“  She set her phone on the shelf her kwami liked to use when she had to keep an eye on the news and the Ladyblog.  

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Since people have been sending me photos of art nouveau buildings where they live/on their travels, I thought why not add a Submission feature to the blog!

So now you can submit photos of art nouveau buildings, pictures or other cool features through this link right here (or click the pencil icon at the top of the blog homepage). This way you can show the world the art nouveau buildings (or other cool things) that you come across and can share them with others. :)

I am also thinking about doing an Art Nouveau giveaway. I was going to do one in December but was a little busy. Now I can focus on doing a proper giveaway. I’ll let you all know when it goes live and how to enter! :) (I’m accumulating books and other goodies for it right now :D )

(Above art by J.C. Leyendecker, 1896.)

Newt Scamander’s Love Letters to You. (NewtXReader)

In other words, a longing Newt makes me weak in the knees. I can not even imagine saying goodbye to him while he goes off on his travels. I’d probably hide myself in the pocket of his trench coat. Oh, to be as small as Pickett.

This is my gift for 130 Followers! I love you all SO much! <3 

Newt sat on the ledge of your apartment window, observing the rain as it fell to the earth. He pulled his knees to his chest and sighed. As much as he loved his travels, it was proving difficult for him to leave you behind.

“Darling? Do you have enough socks and underwear?”

Newt examined his case. He had packing down to a science. He always took the same items and it was usually far more than he needed. “Yes love, I think I have everything. There are always some extra in the shed lurking about.”

“You have random socks and underwear in your shed? When were they last laundered?”

Newt chuckled quietly. The smile on his lips did not reach his eyes.

You sighed, sitting across from him on the window ledge. “Are you alright, Newt?” 

He continued to gaze outside, avoiding eye contact. “I’m just thinking about how much I wish you could come too.” 

You reached out and rubbed his hands that were clasped around the bottom of his leg. “I wish I could too. However, three weeks isn’t so terrible.”

Newt shrugged his shoulders as his sea green eyes reluctantly met yours,  “Sorry love, I know.”

Your fingers fiddled with the hem of his pants. “Newt?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I love you… so much.”

Your words melted his heavy heart. He realized that these final moments were precious and he needed to savor them.

Newt pulled you between his legs, “I love you, too. It’s going to be alright.”

“I know.” You whispered, placing a tender kiss to his lips before he pulled you into his chest.

Newt left before the sunrise. 

You felt your heart yearning for him desperately and questioned if you really could make it three weeks without seeing his smile. 

Placed on the window ledge, where you had shared such an intimate moment the night before, was a stack of letters addressed to you.

The note attached to them simply stated:


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Jamie having to remove Murdoc bulge for the Ad's
  • Telekom: uhh Jamie? You made Murdoc's bulge kinda big again in all these ad photos.
  • Jamie: what's wrong with it? It's just a bulge, a lot of people have them.
  • Telekom: its very inappropriate Jamie, we're gonna need you to remove it entirely.
  • Jamie: alright I'll send them over when i am done.
  • *hangs up*
  • *looks at a photo of Murdoc on his desk*
  • Why won't they let me share your beauty with the world
  • *sobs*
REPLY 1988 (plot twist/facts)

1) Based on a true story: a young pilot whose surname is Kim died in an air crash while trying to fly the craft away from a building. He was under 30 then, had a brother with heart issues (just like JB) and their parents were preparing for 30-year anniversary. So (according to this source) originally Kim Jung Hwan was destinied to die. The kiss scene at the airport with DS, the parents’ wedding, the flashback when he secretly cared for his first love, etc are imaginations and recalls at his last minute.

2) About how Taek finds out DS’s secret about her first love with SW, it was revealed by JH when Taek came to see him at the camp. Acc to the spoiler, T came and spent a night there with JH, they talked about DS, her feelings for SW at first, when T started his feelings for DS (then comes the flashback of childhood as seen in ep 20). JH gave Taek the ring, telling him to care for DS and give it to DS on behalf of him (that’s why someone here and there sees something inside DS’s pink sweater - in the scene she greeted Taek at the gate and they hugged - it’s supposed to be the ring, she wears it with her necklace). The ring wasn’t left unanswered as we have been wondering all the time!

3) A week later (after Taek’s visit), Hwan came home. SW and BR dating was unveiled. The parents protested while the children supported them. Taek and DS went out for movie, holding hands and kissed (DS kissed T to the cheek and he smiled :))). DS came in and see Hwan, he intended to say something to her but hesitated, instead told her that he wished her happiness; she wished him the same,

4) The night Hwan came back to the camp, mother Mi Ran suddenly felt uneasy and anxious. She cried right after the moment he’s gone (like how we saw in ep 20).Father Kim comforted her and the old couple talked about JB-JH childhood.

5) The accident happened. JH died in the crash. Mother Mi Ran fainted, JB had a heart attack, Taek cancelled a baduk competition, DS came back from Japan. The block suddenly became dreary. The mothers cried, hugging eachother. The fathers sadly sat together, drank wine and sighed. Mother Mi Ran didn’t cry, staring at the sky. The children looked older. Taek hugged DS when she was crying, BR leaned on SW’s shoulder, both crying. DR was the host of the funeral, did not cry, looked like a really grown-up man. JB made a lot of blue paper planes with his and his brother’s face on their wings. Mi Ok was beside him then. DR silently stood before Hwan’s photograph, cried and shouted at him, remembering every moment between them since they were kids then went to school etc.

The narration goes: “The ones we love will not be with us forever. Someday they will surely leave us. Through loss we grow up” (or something like that).

After the funeral, the block was still flooded with sadness. Mother Mi Ran was ill, sleepless and talked less. She often dreamed of JH coming back at night, woke up and went to the living room to wait for him(as a scene in ep 20). Father Kim woke up with her and they sat there for a very long time.

7) DS worn the ring with her necklace as a memory to the past. (Taek gave it to her after the funeral).

8) SW and BR decided to get married. While BR’s mother seemed unapproved, mother Mi Ran told her: “Let the children do whatever makes them happy, we can’t be with them for the whole lifetime.” Then the wedding took place without JH’s attendence (of course!). DR, as the host, introduced a blank chair beside Taek as JH’s seat, and in every wedding then, they will leave him a chair so that he can share the happiness with them. The father-daughter issues solved, everyone (and the blank chair) took a photo together.

9) After a match in China, Taek came home and the doves (Taek-Sun) met at the gate (as in ep 20). Taek told DS that he was introduced to a very beautiful girl that day, but he was busy looking after his cat which is cruel and jealousy but very pretty, that’s why he couldn’t go out with that girl. DS pinched him, telling him that he recently has become more soapy. He said “I am normally a man. Do you want to be Mrs Choi soon by provoking me like this?” (haha cheesy). Then he said with seriousness that it’s time they changed their relationship status.

10) T & DS came to visit JH’s grave, brought him white daisy and informed him of their wedding in Jan. They also told him about their family moving out due to the clearance plan, SW became a baby sitter :))), JB and MO on honeymoon, DR is dating and opened more restaurants. They recalled it when they announced the wedding to their parents, DS’s appa and omma were overjoyed, repeatedly asked them if Taekie had been forced and terrorized to get married with DS (sheep sound and DS stupid face). The friends didn’t surprise at all. DR said: “You two always hold hands and hug in the front gate, we’re not blind not knowing anything.” :))

11) The families really moved out. Mother Mi Ran stood in Hwan’s room, father Kim led her out. Ssangmundong was abandoned, Taek’s room door’s open and we see again the gang watched a movie together - as the last scenes on ep 20 last night.

According to the source, too, when asked to change the script (that’s why we had ep 17 delayed), the writer didn’t want to change the ending, thus she just cut the scenes related to the accident. This means, she just didn’t mention the accident, yet whether it happened or not remains unanswered.

P.S i got it from Ryu JunYeol forum in SOOMPI and someone post it in Answer Me 1988 Thread.
AND i would rather have JH dead by the story i mean that would be great? Idk WHY but having his confession just go like that seems so AWFUL. At least we know that JH and DS were love each other you know.

I hate you writer-nim.

Poetry Portal has 10,000 followers!!!! 🎉🎉🎈🎈

In celebration of the tremendous writing so many writers have shared here, I would like to use next week (9/24-9/30) to celebrate all the writers who have made this blog a success (in less than 2 months)!

I am asking all interested writers to send a paragraph or poem, or some kind of creative piece, that introduces our readers to you. You can tell us anything you wish to share. However, we would love to know where are you from, what themes you like to write about, and why you do write. Feel free to include a photo of you and a link to one of your favorite poems.

Send your posts directly to Poetry portal’s inbox by this Friday, 9/22.

Starting Sunday, I will reblog our writers’ profiles each afternoon at 1:00 pm (US- EST) so you have a chance to meet all our writers.

I hope you will participate!🌺. Thanks for supporting Poetry Portal and all the writers who have made it a safe haven for poets.

Much love,


Happy Tennant Tuesday!

As some of you know, I’m very close to 1000 followers - and I’ve promised you a never before posted picture of David Tennant when I reach that follower milestone. Unfortunately I’ve lost followers the last couple of days and I’ve recieved som anon hate (which I refuse to engage in, bc I’m not that kind of person)

All this has made me think: Am I here on Tumblr to gain lots of followers, likes and all that? HELL NO! Am I here on Tumblr to share my love for David Tennant and spread some DT love? OH YES! Therefore, I’ve decided to post the picture today!

So, without further ado, here you go:

I don’t know why, but I really just love this pic… 

It’s from March 2017 after a Don Juan in Soho performance at Wyndham’s Theatre in London. 

I’ve taken it myself and originally, my dear friend Anja is also in the photo - but she doesn’t like the way she looks in it, so I promised to cut her out :-) But hey, we must admit that David also looks pretty damn fine on his own ;-)

Happy Tennant Tuesday everyone!

Zach Werenski #3 - Height Differences

Anon asked: Hi! Not sure if requests are open but if they are could you write a zach werenski imagine pls? Sorry if I requested this already but could you write where he makes fun of your height and like compares your hand sizes? Just really cute and fluffy!! Thank you :)

Yes anon here you go! I must confess though that I am a certified tall person (I am 6′0″) but I have a friend a foot shorter who confirmed that high counters and high shelves are a struggle. I hope you enjoy this super cute, cookie induced sweetness overload!

It was not your fault you were barely 5’3” you had to remind your boyfriend for what seemed like the thousandth time. You had been visiting his apartment and decided you wanted to put his barely used oven to good use. Simple chocolate chip cookies seemed like a safe bet but unfortunately for you the chocolate chips were on the top shelf and your boyfriend was currently out picking up dinner. Even if he had been here it would have only resulted in teasing. The rest of the dough had been mixed and you wanted to get them into the oven so they’d be done by dinner but you were currently at a metaphorical road block. Zach who was 6’2” had no need for a step stool so you opted to climb the narrow counters. Your clumsy nature mixed with the socks you were wearing on the granite could only end in a disaster.  

Just as your fingers brushed the chocolate bag the front door opened and Zach called out for you. The sudden noise startled you and you accidentally kicked the dough bowl onto the ground. Zach came into the kitchen to inspect the noise and instead found you clutching the cabinet door tightly in an attempt to regain your balance. He dropped the takeout bags onto the floor and clutched his stomach as he doubled over in laughter.

“Zach,” you heard yourself nearly whine, “don’t be rude.”

The laughter brought tears to his eyes which he wiped away with shaking hands. Next thing you knew he was taking a photo of you clutching on the cabinet for dear life and the spilled dessert.

“Babe what should I caption this for Instagram?”

“Zach help me down you jerk.”

He thought for a moment, “no, not catchy enough.”

He typed something out quickly and pocketed his phone before coming over to you.

He looked up at you, “well this is new.”

“What?” you asked impatiently.

“I’m looking up at you for once. How’s the view up there?”

You crossed your arms and gave him a disapproving look.

“Is that what it’s always like for you? Is this how you see me?” he continued.

“That’s it, I’m getting down myself.”

As you tried to lower yourself into a seated position your left foot slipped out from under you and you accidentally kicked Zach in the stomach.

He groaned in pain and you couldn’t help but remark, “karma’s a bitch huh?”

“I’ll give you that one,” he wheezed out.

Once you were safely on the ground you went to clean up the ruined dough. When the floor had been cleaned you turned to start mixing up another batch. You felt a pair of arms snake around your waist and your lug of a boyfriend draped himself over you.

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Gajevy Week Entry #1

Prompt Day 1: Sexting/Selfie


I hope you enjoy. This is the first smut I’ve ever written so I really hope it goes and you all like it! Yay for Gajevy!

It started out like any other day, except that for some reason, Levy was feeling really good about herself from the moment she woke up.

That should have been a sign.

It wasn’t that she didn’t deserve to feel good about herself; she enjoyed and reveled in the feeling. It was just that she got a little overconfident.

It was one of those days that her hair did everything right. Her skin was clear and smooth. Her smile wasn’t forced. Her eyes sparkled. She felt pretty. She was pretty. It was such a freeing feeling, and it didn’t come along all that often.

So of course, she had to take a selfie.

And that’s when things got a little out of hand.

The clothes started to come off as she felt a little bit more daring. And in front of her mirror, she posed for the camera in her lacy underwear (that she never wore) and started feeling really sexy.

One photo in particular – it wasn’t in front of the mirror, it was taken from above while she looked flirtatiously up at the camera, biting her lip, and had her free hand running down her bare stomach – was her favorite. She actually managed to look sexy. And that was totally not her style. Her breasts were small, but this bra pushed them up and gave her some cleavage, and that totally added to the appeal of the image.

And then it all went horribly wrong.

She had somehow managed to send the photo to a random number and he had texted her back.

Eh? Who is this?

Levy’s face was red with embarrassment, and then it was flushed with indignation at the next message that came through.

Are you one of them spam hookers? Cos if you are quit texting me.


Levy replied instantly before she realized what she had done. She covered her mouth with her hand and groaned, sitting on her bed in her underwear. She had to find someway to diffuse the situation.

I didn’t mean to send the photo. It was an accident.

Some accident. Whatcha doin’ taking photos like that for if you ain’t a hooker?

Levy stared at the screen. Who the hell was this person?

I just felt like it, okay? And where do you get off accusing me of being a hooker? People take photos like this all the time!

Gihi. Do they now? Do you do this often?

Gihi? Was that this person’s laugh? Levy raised her eyebrow, she didn’t understand why she kept texting back.

NO I do not do this EVER.

Then why ya doing it now? I’m not complaining, by the way.

I just told you that, didn’t I? I felt like it.

Levy bit her lip. He wasn’t complaining? Did that mean he liked the photo? She lay back on her bed and hugged her pillow to her chest, staring at her screen. She was talking to a perfect stranger. Why did it feel so… exciting?

That ain’t a real answer.

Levy frowned. Should she? She could… well, she kind of knew how to flirt. She read enough books to know how to flirt. But actually flirting was a whole different thing. But this was a stranger. She could just say whatever she wanted and no one would be the wiser. A sudden thought hit her.

I’ll tell you if you swear you’ll never show anyone that photo, or post it online, or anything that means that anyone other than you EVER sees it. I will hunt you down.

Gihihihi. Trust me, I ain’t sharing this.

A strange sense of relief flooded through her. She didn’t know why, it wasn’t like she could trust him. Was it even a guy?

Are you a guy?

You kidding me? Course I am, Shrimp.


Ya look short in ya picture.

Levy frowned again. How could he tell she was short in that picture? And Shrimp? Really? What kind of a nickname is that? Strangely, she kind of liked it.

Well, ya gonna answer me?

I felt good today. So, yeah… I took some photos.

You took more? Can I see?

Levy bit her lip. She could feel a strange desire building inside of her. Should she?

Um, maybe. First I want to know about you.

She waited for him to respond. It felt like forever, but it was quick. Less than a minute.

Whatcha wanna know?

Levy thought. His name? What he looked like? Yeah, all of those things. But they seemed so mundane.

Um. Who are you?

Gihi. Gajeel.

“Gajeel,” Levy mused. It was an interesting name.

How old are you?

17. Why do ya wanna know this stuff?

I don’t know. Just makes me feel better that you’re not a complete stranger I guess. You’ve seen me basically naked. It’s weird.

Gihi. It ain’t weird to me. The photo’s fucking hot.

Levy stared at the screen. He was so crude, but it excited her. He thought she was hot?

You think I’m hot?


Levy felt dejected.

“Wow,” she whispered. She’d never felt so deflated before. He phone buzzed again.

The photo’s hot. Your more like a fairy. Real cute.

Levy giggled, feeling lighter. He didn’t think she was ugly, he thought she looked like a fairy. It made her smile and she felt that desire welling inside her again. She scrolled through her pictures, thinking that after that comment, he deserved another one. She picked one where she was looking away from the camera. It was just photo of just above her breasts, but she wasn’t wearing a shirt or a bra, and the top of her breasts were slightly outline (because she was pushing them up with her hand). The photo was kind of… alluring, she thought. You could only see her profile, but her neck looks long and her jawline was smooth.

You there?

He had texted her while she was looking through the photos. She grinned, nervous butterflies were flying in her stomach. She sent the picture to him.

One minute went by.

Two minutes.

Three minutes.

The nervous butterflies were like a raging storm inside of her now and the nervous anticipation was being replaced by panic. Why wasn’t her texting her back? Did he decide to send the pictures to his friends? The uncertainty was killing her, but she resisted texting him.

She put her face in her pillow. Her phone buzzed and she raised her head so quickly she thought she might have gotten whiplash. It was from him. She opened the message and then dropped her phone.

He had sent her a picture.

And by god, he was magnificent.

Her hand somehow found it’s way to her panties, she rested her fingers on them, not daring to touch herself quite yet but finding it difficult not to. It wasn’t something she’d ever really done before but seeing that picture of him was making her feel things that she hadn’t felt before.

He’d taken the picture from his waist, so it showed his entire abdomen and his face. He had a perfect V coming up from his hips that immediately made Levy want to touch him. He had an eight-pack. It wasn’t a six-pack, it was a damn eight-pack. And his nipples were pierced. Levy’s breath was a sharp intake of absolute and unexpected excitement. His arms and chest were well defined and his jawline was strong. 

Levy suddenly felt inadequate, her petite, soft figure was so unassuming and so impressive compared to his. But the body, that wasn’t the only part of him that she admired. It was his face.

It wasn’t the pretty-boy face that she was used to seeing at school, or the face with boyish good looks. It was a masculine face with a roughness to it that she didn’t know until now that she was attracted to. He had an eyebrow piercing to go with his nipple piercings and dark eyes shadowed by black eyebrows that matched his black hair. Levy could tell that it was long, it was tied back. But she couldn’t see that much of it. But she wanted to.

A buzz alerted her to another message.

Uh, you there?

Levy realized that she had been staring at the picture for five minutes.



Levy was desperately trying to think of something to say other than “please have my babies.” It was difficult. Just flirt, Levy. Flirt.

What are you trying to do, sending me that? Seduce me?

Levy sighed. She was not good at this.

Gihihi. Is it working?

Levy’s fingers began to tickle her womanhood through her panties.


Was all that she replied. She could feel her heart rate increasing, and her breathing come faster. A pulsing began between her legs. Oh yes, it was working.

Are you playing with yaself? I am.

Levy’s breathing hitched. That was so forward. It made her more excited as she read it over. He was playing with himself, because of her photos.

Yes, I am. 

Levy brushed her fingers up her stomach and slipped them into the hem of her panties, running them down until she was cupping herself.

Tell me what your doing.

Levy blushed slightly as she typed. This wasn’t what she was used to, it wasn’t something she’d ever done before, but she was enjoying. She felt dirty in the best possible way; it was just turning her on more.

My fingers are sliding up and down, playing with my clitoris, while I’m thinking about that photo you sent.

Are you wet?

I’m wet.

Ah, jeez. This is turning me on so fucking much.

Levy closed her eyes for a moment and imagined that Gajeel was with her. She slipped her panties off and had an idea. She grinned.

I just took my panties off.

Ah, fuck.

Somehow, that word just made her feel more provocative.

What are you doing? What are you thinking?

She wanted to know what he was doing. What he was imagining.

I’m thinking about having you here. Your little hands on my cock, me sucking your nipples. 

Levy swallowed as she imagined it. Oh god, her fingers moved faster, building up more tension inside of her.

Oh, god. She texted him. My lips wrapped around your cock, sucking and licking.

Levy had never used the word ‘cock’ before. It made her feel a little embarrassed typing it, but those feelings were overcome with desire and need.

Levy moaned and she slipped two fingers inside of herself, thrusting in and out.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

And then he sent her another picture. It was his hand, wrapped around his dick in all its solid glory. Levy breathed out and her eyes widened when she saw it. She had never been with a guy before, she’d never had sex, never seen a penis in person. But that, that took her breath away and made her ache. It was big, that much she knew. His hand was at its base, but there was still a third of it showing. She could see the wetness at its tip.

Oh, god, Gajeel.

Levy could barely type, she was consumed with a passion and need she’d never know before. She wanted him. This stranger, she wanted to feel him inside of her. Her fingers were thrusting but she knew it wasn’t what she wanted, but it would do.

You’re glorious. I want you inside me.

Fuck, your gonna make me cum.

Levy’s thumb worked her clit as she thrust her fingers inside again and again, she moaned and dropped her phone. Gajeel filled her mind. His strong arms around her, his lips passionately kissing her neck, her stomach and down there. His cock, thrusting itself inside of her.

“Gajeel!” She cried.

Her orgasm came on like fireworks exploding inside of her. She tingled, her legs clenched, her back arched upwards, her toes curled and she panted, moaning his name as the ecstasy spread throughout her body. She laughed when it was over, panting and sweating.

Her phone buzzed.

She opened the message from Gajeel.

Fuck. That was… something else.

Yes, it was.

I should ask your name.

Levy smiled. She caught sight of herself in the screens reflection, her cheeks were pink, and her eyes were shining. She captured the moment with another photo and sent it to him.

I’m Levy.

He sent her a picture similar to hers; he had a devilish grin on his face. They were both satisfied.

We should do this again sometime.

Levy’s toes curled in anticipation. Oh yes, she was definitely going to do this again. She guessed that things getting a little out of hand weren’t always a bad thing.



Her hand

Back with another request! Anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely love writing Wally x Batsis!! Hopefully, this is alright for you! Thank you so much for sending this prompt in and I really do hope you enjoy this! Trying to go through requests still so posting might be slow! (Also I am trying to see if I can complete at least two-three requests per day so I can go through the requests nicely!)

Wally wrings his hands as he tries his hardest not to bolt out of the room. He never really thought this day would come, sort of. Actually, Wally also never thought he would last this long with you – his relationship with you had been a rocky one but Wally has never been one to give up on who he loves and you being the stubborn person that you are has managed to wedge yourself completely deep in his heart and Wally knows he is never going to be able to let you go – at least not anymore.

“Is there a reason you ask for this meeting?” Bruce stares at Wally and Wally almost lets out a curse – deep down inside, he knows Bruce knows why he is here – he probably already knew about this meeting even before Wally decided to come see him. When Bruce shifts, Wally tenses slightly before clearing his throat.

“Well – yeah – uh, Sir.” Wally used to be able to talk easily (read: run his mouth off) with Bruce before but now that he had come to the manor with a very important mission and he really does not want to ruin any chances. “I think you already know why I am here,” Wally averts his gaze from Bruce’s all-knowing ones and catches sight of a new family photo – it brings a smile to his face when he sees just how happy you are, surrounded by your father and your brothers.

Bruce doesn’t even move to follow Wally’s gaze because he knows well enough what Wally is staring at. He chuckles inwardly seeing the love-stricken smile on the young man’s face. Bruce honestly never thought the relationship you shared with Wally could last long – given the nature of the lives Wally and you are living but he is glad. Bruce is glad over the fact that he has seen that look ever since Wally had been a younger teen and whenever it came to you, that look of love and adoration that always cross his face somewhat relieves Bruce – he knows well that Wally is a very good man – one that can keep you grounded and one that made you feel very complete. “I do.” Bruce finally answers.

Wally lets out a sigh of relief before slowly reaching for the black velvet ring box that feels extremely heavy in his pocket. He takes it out from his pocket and places it on the table in front of him – he knows it’s nothing much compared to what Bruce could probably afford but Wally had saved up enough money to buy this ring you have been eyeing for the longest time. “I would like to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage, Sir.” Wally takes a deep breath and looks at Bruce straight in the eyes. It unnerves him a little with how intense Bruce is looking at him but relief washes over him when Bruce slowly nods his head. “Are you serious?” His jaw drops and Wally feels as if he had been smacked in the face – he actually thought Bruce would put up a lot of resistance.

Bruce chuckles at the expression Wally is wearing before nodding his head. “I have seen the both of you grow, Wally and you are a really good man for Y/N. I have never seen Y/N happier and I am afraid, I have to burst your bubble.” Bruce states seriously causing Wally to stare at him in confusion. “If you think I was the one that will be giving you a hard time, you are definitely mistaken – have you considered what the rest will have to say?”

Wally blanches when he finally realizes that he has to talk to the rest of your brothers – Dick had been alright with his plan, in fact his best friend had been in full support ever since the two of them got together and Dick had already given him the ‘talk’ too. Tim might be a little bit alright and Jason might try to shoot him but Damian… Damian is definitely going to give him a lot of hell. “Oh.”

Bruce simply smiles before reaching for the cup of tea Alfred had poured for him earlier. He sips his drink – it’s lukewarm now – and watches the man in front of him. Bruce really cannot wait to see you in your wedding dress.

Asking Tim had gone smoothly. Wally didn’t even know why he had fretted in the first place – actually, he does know. He knows just how much your brothers mean to you and he really wants to do you right by asking all of your brothers for permission. Tim simply smacked him on the back, “took you long enough, Wally! Y/N’s going to be really happy.” Wally had a love-struck smile when Tim brought you up causing the latter to smack his back again. “Okay, gross – I don’t need to see that look on your face whenever you think about my sister!” Tim exclaims and Wally sputters because his thoughts had been innocent enough. Tim laughs at Wally’s expression. “Joking, Wally. Are you going to go look for the rest now?”

Wally nods his head. “Dick already gave me the green light. I just need to find Jason and Damian.” He winces at that thought. Maybe he should have gone to see Damian first because he knows how close Damian is to you. Tim also winces when he heard the last two names.

Chasing Jason down was not as hard as Wally thought it would be. Granted, Dick had to set up the meeting and insisted he is let in on the meeting too. Just in case Jason decides to go after him, that is. Wally rolls his eyes at his friend’s vote of confidence – Wally likes to think that Jason likes him a little bit more than Damian. Just by the tiniest bit.

Jason raises his eyes as he dismantles his gun. Wally eyes the table carefully before taking a seat across of him. “So what did you want to meet up for?” He asks, tilting his head to the side. Wally takes out the black velvet box he had been carrying and simply places it in front of him. Jason’s gaze zeroes in on the box and Wally can feel the tenseness in the air. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Wally reels back at Jason’s words. “No – I got Bruce’s permission already.” He squeaks before clearing his throat and repeating the words again. “I just wanted to tell you that I am planning on asking Y/N’s hand in marriage.” Jason narrows his eyes at Wally. Wally tries his hardest not to notice just how quickly Jason put the gun back together.

“You better not hurt or make Y/N cry or else.” Jason loads the gun and Wally nods his head. “I can think of several different ways to shoot you, Wally and you are going to hurt in places you never thought you would get hurt. Got it?”

Wally gulps and nods his head. “Of course – Dick has also given me the ‘hurt Y/N and I’ll make sure you regret it’ talk and I am pretty sure Damian is going to be harder to convince – but thank you?”

Jason rolls his eyes, scoffing at Wally. “Good luck trying to convince that spawn.” Jason hisses and that’s Wally’s queue to leave him alone. He grabs the ring and slides it in his pocket before rushing to the kitchen where Dick has been raiding Jason’s pantry.


Wally sputters. “What do you mean ‘no’?”

Damian shakes his head. “Tt – and I am supposed to give dearest sister my blessing?” He eyes Wally a few times before shaking his head, clicking his tongue and returning his attention back to the book he had initially been reading right before Wally had disturbed him.

“B – oh, come on, Damian.” Wally frowns as he tries once again. He knew Damian was going to be the hardest one to convince – he also knows just how close the both of you are too so he somewhat understands Damian’s reservations even if he is starting to feel annoyed. “Everyone else has given me their permissions and blessings and are you really not going to give me your blessings?” Wally presses.

Damian simply ignores him in favour of reading the very action-packed part of the book. He has always admired your wonderful tastes in books! He can’t wait to have a discussion with you regarding this book – out of all of his siblings, having discussions about literature with you is always the best.

Just as Wally is about to start pulling his own hair out, a voice catches the both of them by surprise.

“Wally, Damian – my two favourite men in one room.” You greet them happily. You haven’t seen your boyfriend for the past few days because you had been trying to catch deadlines and finish up all of your assignments and you have missed him terribly. Talking to him on the phone had quelled some of the feelings you had but seeing him in the flesh is much better. The grin on your face widens when Wally turns to look at you with a smile that could blind you.

“Babe,” Wally pockets the box and stands up to wrap his arms around you. You giggle as you snuggle closer, wrapping your own arms around Wally. He kisses your temple. “How was your day – did you finish your assignments? Have you eaten?” Wally throws questions at you – if he had been paying attention, he would have seen Damian looking at the both of you with a serious look on his face.

You shrug your shoulders, pressing your nose against his collarbone. “Day started off quite badly – forgot my umbrella in the car, it poured when I was walking across the campus and the deadlines I had been trying to catch turned out to be postponed to next week and overall, it just sucks.” You told him, suddenly feeling very tired at how your day had turned out to be. “I am really happy I get to see you – I missed you, Wally.” Wally pulls you closer, showering you with kisses causing you to giggle a few times.

Damian pretends to gag causing the two of you to turn to him. He has his bookmarker at the page he had been reading and he stands up. “The least the both of you could do was to wait until I was out of the room, Tt.” Damian deadpans causing you to laugh. He closes his book and heads toward the door. “Sister, I will see you during dinner later – I will tell Pennyworth to make your favourites for tonight, to make up for your horrendous day.” Damian informs you and you could not help but reach over to ruffle his hair, causing Damian to hiss and pout at your actions. Damian is about to head out of the room when he pauses by the door to stare directly at Wally.

Wally raises one of his eyebrows.

“I suppose you have mine.” Damian mutters, confusing you but that had been enough for Wally because the grin on his face widens and he begins to try and talk your ears off by talking about what he had been doing at work (in an attempt to make sure you don’t catch on to what Damian had said) and Damian resists the urge to roll his eyes because it is really unbecoming so he settles for crossing his arms. “Tt.”


February 23rd 2017 It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of these, largely because I just haven’t had the energy to craft or edit pretty photos, and doing so would have felt a bit disingenuous. So for the sake of some much needed candour I thought I’d go ahead and share some pictures of what my desk looks like right now. I bought myself a planner, calendar, and notepad as a birthday present (they are so lovely, bless Rifle Paper Co.) but am still feeling pretty blah about my work…which is why I’m watching Star Trek TOS right now instead of reading. Such is life. 

Long time no see

It has been a while since I posted, but here I am, back to “black”.

What I mentioned in my previous posts is that YOU TRUST YOUR GUT! I mean it, learn to follow your intuition, to rely on it, because most of the time your inner voice is 100% right. 

Why to come back with this post? Simply due to my few POT conversations I had in past weeks. And there are big differences between real POTs, time wasters and splendas. I’ll start with the most recent one, which turned out to be another time waster in the line. 

1. The time waster

So, this guy contacts me first, back on SA, seems legit, fancy cars, nice clothes, classy surroundings. We hit it off with a few messages and he gives me a phone call after texting. My God he talks too much, and by too much I mean after minutes of his monologue I had the chance to say a sentence. Anyway, fast forward to allowance talk, he asked about the sum which would make me care free monthly, I state it and he goes and raises that amount for double. For a moment it felt too good to be true (it turned out it was, later on) yet I engaged in his proposal and continued with the conversation, cherry on the top - he wants to pay a year in advance, oh my I thought my ears are not functioning well. 

However, here come the very first red flags, after mentioning the allowance, he starts telling about his previous arrangements, the girls he met trough the site, and, HOLD YOUR BREATH, he met 17 girls in one year?!?!? What? And none was good? Then he goes and talks about the two latest women on his “portfolio” and I quote. The first one didn’t suit him in bed so he left her just 1k on the table before leaving her hotel room and never talked to her again, the second one he met 9 times but she lived too far so allegedly it didn’t work because of the distance because he wanted her to move in with him????!!!! what!? NO MENTION OF ANY ALLOWANCE. Silly me, I continued talking with him for next couple of days.

Fast forward to our plans to meet. Everything seems in motion, no BS no nothing, we got to a date of our meet and my God I was looking forward to it $$$ :)

But, there is always a BUT, in this case a big one, he out of nowhere starts asking if I am meeting him just for money, how he wants someone to like him for what he is and not what he has yada yada yada, fine, I coped with that, disregarded it and moved on with the talk. Next day, HERE IT COMES, he starts the conversation how he “met his old friend” and they had an enlightening conversation, and that made him realize that he is “wasting his life” with the arrangements and that he will quit SA and find someone to settle down!?!?! LOL!!! -FINE WAY OF SAYING I AM NOT PAYING ANYTHING AND I WANT A YOUNG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN FOR NOTHING. Did I mention he said how he is a sex addict ? No? well yes. So, translated to English, FREE SEX, ATTENTION AND AFFECTION FOR FREE OF COURSE. 

After the “I changed my mind I want something meaningful” talk, I politely said that’s fine and I understand *thanks for wasting my time asshole* thinking he would back off and stop texting. Whatsoever, he starts bombing me with messages more and more how this is the best advice he got, how we can meet but there will be no cash “Oh do you still like me?” “I want people to like me for who I am not what I have”, and I beg your pardon, he continues with the meet and goes like “oh but let me know when you can come and I will meet you, but I need 5 days noticewithout even offering to pay for the airfare.Like seriously???

I made it this elaborate in order to give an insight to all newbies but also the experienced SBs(I always appreciate when I can read about real life situations and examples) how men can think of million excuses when they have no intention of paying. 

REAL SDs, always mention the allowance in the first lines of conversation, 90% of the time they already have a number they are ready to give to a SB. Remember, NO LEGIT SD will mention any OF the above stated excuses nor he will try to negotiate a trial period. 

Keep your eyes wide open dolls, don’t let these men scam you into anything

2. Splenda 

There are various examples of this category but I’ll highlight the most obvious ones. 

My last splenda talk started totally normal and usual for the SD/SB talk, after the contact on SA (profile was rather shortly written) yet there were some clues this guy was rather salt. In his profile he stated he is offering “dinners at nice restaurants, trips to private islands, sailing, gifts” with the budget stated High. 

We go on an engage in a conversation, exchanged few photos and discussing the possible meet and the dates. 

First red flag is that he never asked about the allowance nor he proposed one himself. Of course I went on and asked what amount should I expect if we decide to move forward with the dates and meet and I noted that if he expects intimacy I would consider that our arrangement started and I in this case as much as he expects intimacy I expect an allowance. 

Right from the blue sky he goes nuts and says he doesn’t do allowances and he can offer a gift in value of 500$?! I am like what?? He doesn’t do cash because it is too transactional and if he wanted an escort he would hire one!? God save me from whorefobic man!!! I go and politely ask, why he stated his budget High and I tell him that it is referred to an actual Allowance, to which he replies “It is all the expenses I will have when it comes to a SB - tickets, drinks, catering, hotel rooms and small gifts from time to time” what?! ARE YOU JOKING? 

I didn’t continue with this conversation, I simply went and blocked him.

The point is, always and I repeat ALWAYS READ CAREFULLY the profiles, don’t be afraid to ask about his stated budget to what does it apply is it the amount of allowance or all the expenses together. 

Understand that there is nothing to be ashamed of, or, nothing to make you feel uncomfortable when asking what you are getting. REMEMBER, you are putting your YOUTH, your energy and your time that can’t be bought, usually, to much older men that will not even appreciate it for a second. So, go ahead get your hustle on and get your allowance!

I also firmly believe that SDs below 40 can’t be legit. Of course, there are exceptions to this and I am very happy if one of you dolls found a good looking mid 30s guy. PLEASE, disregard the wanna be 20something boys. Unless they are BACKROUND VERIFIED.

3.Real POTs

Needles to say why I left the best for the last. 

This category is very rare but still exists! No matter if you approached him first or he did so, usually there will be very few photos on the sites itself and he will share it later on via email/whatsapp/*insert the way of communication*.

Men like this like to initiate things. 

He will go and propose a meet/trip himself, the desired dates etc. He will also go on and say either he will give you something per meet basis or he will go straight for the monthly amount. There will be no blurred lines or misunderstandings in his proposal. 

Most of REAL SDs highly VALUE THEIR TIME, therefore will be no games and he will state right away what he is offering, eg. x amount of time per month for x amount of $$$ w/ or without gifts etc.

With men like these, dolls, go for it and seal the deal ASAP. If his offer is something which is convenient for you then don’t hesitate for a second, go and make the arrangements without postponing.

Also note that no real SD will engage in any sex talk before the meeting, maybe he could ask if there is something he should be aware of regarding the bedroom time but will never explicitly describe any action.

Latest real POT of mine went straight forward and after few initial messages proposed the following: 5-7 days in Seychelles, business airfare, private villa and 2000$ of pocket money. He mentioned the time frame as well, in which it would be ok for him to arrange this trip. There were no requests of me sending bikini photos and he sent a request for my private ones after we exchanged several messages with asking first if I can open the private photos. 

Again, LEGIT POTs and SDs will waste no time and will be straightforward from the beginning what they want and offer. Every man knows what he can afford therefore he will be the one to suggestTHE NUMBER”. There will be no parts of the arrangement untold, 95% of the time you won’t need to ask anything about the allowance, meets, amount of time, because he KNOWS what he wants and what he can offer in return.

I HOPE this post will help all the newbies and also remind experienced SBs of the examples in the sugar bowl.

Stay safe dolls and happy hunting!


This is war

pairing:  More of a mutual hate? Ivar slightly turned on by your antic’s, I guess Ivar x Reader

fandom: Vikings. Modern University student, disgruntled flatmate AU

warnings: Coarse language, hinted masturbation, extremely antisocial behaviour, dead animals

Prompt from: @whenimaunicorn Friday Night Ritual (It’s Friday night where I live) this is just for fun  I thought of this when I saw the photo above and thought why not?

This was it, you told yourself. You’d had it. This had to stop. This was the seventh time this week alone. You didn’t mind music, hell, you even loved the song that was playing right now, but you could not sleep with ‘Hit the Road Jack’ blasting out of your flatmate’s room at 1:00 am. You didn’t know him very well. You shared a kitchen, living room and bathroom, the rest of your time you spent in your room studying or out working shifts at the Petrol station. The landlord Floki had said that he was a family friend, also he advised that if you kept out of Ivar’s way, you’d be fine, whatever the hell that meant. 

The conditions of your stay were fine by you, the flat was relatively nice, in your price range and close to the train station. You had no problem’s with your flatmate. You hardly even saw him. Sometimes he would be in the kitchen when you went to get something or he’d be watching TV. You smiled and said hello, but he would just glare back say the occasional hi or hey. And that was the way things were until, the second week in when you accidentally ate his favourite cereal. To you it wasn’t a big deal, you’d honestly made a mistake and grabbed the wrong box when you went for a midnight snack. You brought him a new box and put a post-it note on it saying that you were sorry. And that’s how it all started.

You’d gone to get ready for a lecture the next day. You had a shower and went to dry your hair with the hair dryer. You turned it on only to get a face full of baby powder. You sputtered and shrieked, but after you laughed. Yeah, okay, you had to admit that was pretty funny.

“Okay Ivar, I supposed I deserved that, good one!” You sung out to him across the house, but you got no reply. You sighed, would it really kill him to say something other than; hey, hi, good, hmm, yes, no and bye? You cleaned off again and left for your lecture. That night you came home from your shift and you couldn’t wait to finally get some shut eye. You opened the door to your room and flopped onto your bed, only to jump back up and scream in pain as what felt like a dozen needles dug into your flesh. Heaving, you threw back the covers to find forks strategically taped exactly where you had flopped on the bed. Okay, this was not funny. How the hell did he even get into your room? You had locked it with a key.

You marched to his room and pounded on the door. He opened it with a smug expression on his annoyingly handsome face.

“Ivar, I am sorry about your cereal, but forks, really?”  

“Oh it’s not just about the cereal,” he snarled, his face contorted into a wicked grin.

“Okay?” You took a step back, “What is this about then?” He actually looked quite scary.

“I was quite happy here by myself until you showed up, leaving the teaspoons wherever the hell you like, kicking ice cubes and crumbs under the fridge, putting the water bottle’s back half empty and your hair…”

“What about my hair?” You asked defensively.

“You shed like a dog, it’s fucking everywhere!” You felt as if you’d been slapped, did he just compare you to a dog?

“What is your problem!?” You yelled at him.

“You!” He growled back, but then he smirked, “But you won’t be for much longer, I will get rid of you, just like the last one,” he sneered and he slammed the door. Leaving you confused and slightly scared. What did he mean like the last one? Was he a serial killer?

The days past and his meaning became clear; he wanted you to move out. However, you were determined to stay a thorn in his side. You endured; food dye in your toothpaste, your clothes changing colour in the wash, him buying a universal remote and randomly changing the channels while you were watching TV, an ice bucket challenge in the middle of the night, even, finding a dead mouse in your shoe and a frog in the coffee pot but, you drew the line at continuous sleep deprivation. You marched to his room again and pounded on the door.

“Okay asshole I am willing to negotiate with you!” You screamed over the music. It suddenly stopped and the door swung open, he greeted you with a triumphant smirk plastered across his face.

“So,” he drawled, “When will you be leaving?” You clenched your fist.

“I will not be leaving!” You fumed. He snarled and turned back to the stereo, you grabbed his wrist before he could flip it back on, “I know you can’t sleep either while that’s blasting.”

“I won’t stop until you are gone and I get my flat back, this is war,” he snatched his hand back.

“You are insanely petty, you know that? The flat was never yours, it belongs to Floki! Stop acting like a child! I’m staying here, whether you like it or not and you’re going to have to either, deal with it or move out because I sure as hell can’t afford anywhere else!” You screamed at him. He stiffened and looked at you curiously.

“I can’t believe you, of all people, hold the record,” he commented looking you up and down

“What record?”

“The record for longest stay; four weeks two days, before that it was only two weeks.You are the most stubborn person I have ever met.”

“Now that’s the pot calling the kettle black,” you spat before turning around and storming out of his room. The music started up again. You turned back around to see him flipping you the bird in the hallway. “Really? Grow up Ivar,” you commented before you grabbed your bag and headed out the front door.

“Where are you going? Are you finally leaving?”  

For once you smirked back at him, “If you want a war, you’re going to get one. I’m bringing down the thunder Ivar, surrender or batten down the hatches.”

You went to the 24hrs corner store. Not only were you going to need, weapons, tools and ammunition you were going to need protection and provisions. You had three brothers, you were a prank war veteran, but this was no laughing matter, your residence was at stake. When you finally got to the checkout the clerk looked at your items and then to you.

“Don’t ask,” you warned and slapped your card on the desk, the clerk only nodded and scanned the items.

“Are you okay hun?” She asked slightly concerned.

“I haven’t slept in two days and there’s a frog in my coffee pot. No, I am not okay.”

“Boyfriend trouble?” She asked handing you your groceries.

“I wish it was that simple,” you murmured and headed back to your flat.

The first thing you did was lock your door, then you barricaded it. You had no lectures or shifts tomorrow, but you knew for a fact that Ivar did, you had taken a photo of his timetable he left on the kitchen bench. Revenge would come, but not now, you thought to yourself as Annie Lennox’s voice drifted through the flat singing ‘Sweet Dreams’. Sweet dreams indeed you smiled as you pulled out your industrial-grade earplugs and slipped them into your ears.  

The next day you didn’t waste your time. You avoided the trip wire in the hallway and made a beeline for his room. You experimentally turned the door knob. Locked. You took out your key, now was the moment of truth, was Floki a real cheapskate? Had he installed the same locks? You slid the key in and it miraculously fitted and turned. So that’s how Ivar was sneaking into your room. You smiled and stood back, not stupid enough to stand in front of the opening door in case he booby trapped it. But after nothing happened it appeared that he thought you were either stupid or had no lock picking skills. You hauled your supplies into his room and got to work. When you were done in his room you pulled out your phone. You opened the phonebook and found the number you were looking for and dialled it. You couldn’t wait for Ivar to get back home.

He came home at five o’clock. He opened the door and slipped on the oil you had placed there moments before.

“Welcome home, flatmate,” you smiled as you sat on the couch sipping your tea.

“Amateur,” he grunted picking himself off the ground.

“I tried my best.” You shrugged feigning defeat.  You wish you could follow him and watch the chaos unfold with your own eyes, but you lurking down the hallway would make him suspicious. You didn’t worry though, you had hidden a camera in his room. You wondered what would get him first, the chair or the bed. A loud hoot of a fog horn and a scream of shock answered your question. The chair.

“You’ve been in my room?!” He raged.

“Oh yeah I hope you didn’t mind, I had a bit of a clean up in there. See, you had so many clothes and I thought that there were so many people in need, so I donated them.” You smiled sweetly. “Oh,” you added, “And I found your porn stash you pervert, that’s gone too.”

You heard him start stomping down the hallway cursing. Time to go. You ran to your room and shut the door and locked it before he reached it.

“You coward! Come back out here!” He slapped your door angrily. You didn’t actually donate his clothes, they were safely wrapped up in plastic bags under your bed, but the porn stash? Well, it rested in pieces.

“You thought I was a problem before? How do you like me now mother fucker!” You taunted. You heard him rustle the keys, and scratch at the lock. You smiled, ah revenge was sweet.

“What the fuck?” he cursed.

“Also, I figured out how you’ve been getting in here, I had a locksmith come today. Give it up Ivar.”

“Okay, well played, well played. I didn’t know you had it in you, but you’ll have to come out sooner or later,” he hissed.

“Nope, I’m set for a few days. I have a cooler, a bucket, food and water in here. Do you yield?”

“Never! When you come out I will make you regret this, I’ll have Floki evict you,” he snarled.

“What? Can’t you get rid of me yourself? What is it now? Hmm… four weeks and three days?”

You heard him storm off grumbling something under his breath.

You smiled as you heard the smoke alarm go off accompanied by a string of curses. That would be him microwaving the aluminium foil you taped to the underside of his favourite plate.

“Do you yield?” You yelled out.

“Go to hell!” You got in response. You smiled, you were enjoying this too much.

“I have your clothes,  if you give up and allow me to live in peace and admit that I am worthy of staying here, I’ll give them back to you,” you cooed. You heard him storm back to his room, moments later you heard a disgusted yell. That would be the live crickets you put in his bed. Half an hour later you heard laughter. Mad, broken laughter. You assumed that would be because of the Nicolas Cage face you had pasted to the inside of his cupboard or the swapped CDs in the wrong cases. You frowned as you heard footsteps approach your door. What was he doing now?

“Okay asshole I am willing to negotiate with you,” he spoke finally.

“There will be no negotiation, you yield, we live in peace and you admit that I am worthy of staying here and I will give your clothes back.”

“Oh but you are forgetting something,” he almost sung. You creased you brow.

“And what’s that?”

“I can change the Wifi password.”

“No!” You shrieked. That evil bastard!

“Are you ready to negotiate?”

You couldn’t risk it. You opened the door. Ivar strode in and sat at your desk.

“Now what?” You shrugged, “I’m not leaving.”

“Neither am I,” he stated.

“Well it seems we agree on one thing, we both want to live here. So can we live in peace?”

“I think we can, If you give me my clothes back and never cross me again.”

“I will, if you don’t cross me again and you swear never to change the Wifi password. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” he nodded and you shook his hand. He seemed to hold some kind of newfound respect in his eyes. Smiling you bent down and reached under the bed to retrieve his clothes. You turned back around and caught him quickly averting his eyes. Wait? Was he just staring at your ass? You looked back to him and frowned, don’t be stupid, you told yourself. You infuriate him. He would not be one bit interested in you.

“You are a worthy opponent, and you by far, are my favourite flatmate,” he grinned darkly.

“Well you’re not my favourite flatmate, but you keep me on my toes,” you smiled and shoved his bags of clothes in his arms and herded him out the door. He got to his room before he turned to you again.

“By the way, I was bluffing, only Floki can change the Wifi password. I just needed a way to get you to listen to me,” he smirked, “You still need to prove you’re worth keeping around.”

Damn it, you fumed. He had no real leverage, he tricked you into a truce!

“Oh go fuck yourself!” You hurled the first insult that came to your mind.

“Perhaps I will,” he turned back to you, you gawked like a fish out of water. “But trust me,” he continued, “After this, I won’t be imagining that my hands are my own, my favourite flatmate,” he smirked suggestively and shut the door behind him locking it, leaving you a flustered mess. You buried your face in your pillow and groaned. You bolted up in shock when you realised you had left the camera in his room, rolling. Fuck.