why am i making that face!!

10

@metalosse asked for my Top 5 SoMa moments in the SE manga and i went a little too extra… ((thank you for asking me friend <3 i missed you!!))

please click the images!!!

bonus for the Top 5 favorite Pokemon is in the keep reading below! (sorry i had to make this a separate post from your ask since there are a lot of pictures hehe)

ask me for top 5 anything

Keep reading

i just figured i’m 2 types of rpers in 1. like… when i’m on here, writing for the elf just feels natural & like i never did anything else in my life, i’ve grown confident with a portrayal i’m developing since nearly 2 years ago. then i switch to the other muse who is very different character-wise + modern setting, speech pattern & profession & i get freaking nervous over every single post i type. i have fun, am excited to walk that new path, but i’m also lowkey afraid to fail? then i come back here & it’s like coming home. i like this challenge & how every rper can become all nervous when entering a new field. it shows that we never stop growing as writers :)

3

“Keeping up with the Blacks”

10

Yuzuru Hanyu x 2016-2017 Season x (Possible) Tumblr Tags

Bonus material, or, I’m out of tags so y’all can add your own:

Fall Out Boy Songs for the Signs

ARIES: Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do Today // Breaking hearts has never looked so cool, as when you wrap your car around a tree, your makeup looks so great next to his teeth

TAURUS: Centuries // Until you die for me, as long as there’s a light, my shadow’s over you, cause I am the opposite of amnesia, and you’re a cherry blossom, you’re about to bloom, you look so pretty, but you’re gone so soon

GEMINI: Miss Missing You // I will sing to you every day, if it will take away the pain, oh and I’ve heard you got it, got it so bad, cause I am the best you’ll never have

CANCER: Young and Menance // Oops I, did it again, I forgot what I was losing my mind about, oh, I only wrote this down to make you press rewind, and send a message: I was young and a menace

LEO: Bang the Doldrums // And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me, the same way I think of you, this is a love song in my own way, happily ever after below the waist

VIRGO: Fame < Infamy // I am God’s gift but why would he bless me with, such wit without a conscience equipped, I’m addicted to the way I feel when I think of you, whoa, “There’s too much green to feel blue”

LIBRA: I’m Like a Lawyer with the Way I’m Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) // We’re the new face of failure, prettier and younger but not any better off, bulletproof loneliness at best, at best

SCORPIO: I’ve Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) // We’re the kids who feel like dead ends, and I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses, I took a shot and didn’t even come close, at trust and love and hope, and the poets are just kids who didn’t make it, and never had it at all

SAGITTARIUS: Death Valley // Cause we are alive, here in death valley, but don’t take love off the table yet, cause tonight it’s just fire alarms and losing you, we love a lot so we only lose a little

CAPRICORN: Tiffany Blews // Oh baby, you’re a classic, like a little black dress, you’re a faded moon, stuck on a little hot mess 

AQUARIUS: Hum Hallelujah // I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light, a teenage vow in a parking lot, ‘til tonight do us part, I sing the blues and swallow them too

PISCES: Golden // Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams, where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens, and I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me

  • Me when I'm focused: I find something cool to read. There is the vague awareness of sunlight no longer shining through the window behind me, followed by the return of said light. Wait, shit, that means I've been reading all night. If I didn't keep snacks nearby, it's possible that I wouldn't have eaten.
  • Me when I'm unable to focus: I find something cool to read. I cannot make it past the first two paragraphs. Wow, there sure is a lot of text of the page. My brain refuses to properly process it. There are the sounds of a conversation in another room, the ever-present hum of electronics, cats walking on the roof. My foot itches, and I have a song stuck in my head. ...Why am I poking myself in the face with a drinking straw? Where did I even get the straw?? Where did it come from???? I walk away, confused and realizing I'm hungry. I go to grab a can of beans, and come back with two coloring books, a pair of headphones and the overwhelming feeling that I forgot something. I put the items down on the couch and pace back and forth for no reason.
I always think of you when the sun rises and the sky flickers with brilliant colors like the pink of your flushed cheeks. The blue of your cold lips in winter. The yellows of your bright soul and the purples of your dull days. I want every hue that is streaked with a creative finger upon the galaxies and your skin.
When I’m enveloped in the warmth of my bed and the universe rocks me to sleep, I always dream of you at night when the stars are beaming and I am reminded of why I wake to see them scattered across your cheekbones and the curve of your nose. But dreams like those don’t do.
I always glance at you in the afternoon when your laugh roars over my radio and the silence in my head. It casts the shadows of the day away from my face and dusts the corners of my smile to make it feel new again. And I’m thankful for every time that you look back at my way, even if I’m flustered as I am because of your eyes.
They are an embodiment of the ocean, contrast themselves with the warmth they invite you into. Before I met you, blue had always been my favorite color for the wrong reasons. It was chilling, dull, and soul piercing. But you redefined the color into meaningful, serene and free, making me want to build a home in your blue.
And perhaps you would find it peculiar, how I find beauty in your colors. The white in your smile. The gray in your thoughts. The scattered paint on your skin when you try to create something that makes sense out of everything in the world that doesn’t.
I don’t know how to convey how much I adore you, how the skies come closer to watch and listen to you. Sometimes, it hurts how they come to you through all hours of the day while I only find you whilst I’m awake, but do know that I love you more than all the galaxies you are composed of. You are my world, my moon, my stars, and you shine brighter than them all. You are colors too bright and colors too dark, the hue people love to have their homes as and the paintings that take two years to be finished. You are my favorite masterpiece.

jungianca6  asked:

Wow, since 2013... I wonder how Tumblr and all sites were back in the day when S1 came out. Unfortunately I missed it and joined until last year lmao. Hey, you're like a veteran of the Snk fandom

I am indeed one of the veteran squad haha, idk why spending years of my life being a weeb should make me proud but I kind of am lmao

but I’ve seen some crazy shit, no regrets

*opens old fandom folder* let’s see
one thing I don’t miss from 2013 is whip wars, we still have some, but 2013 ships wars were fucking brutal lol

half of snk 2013 fandom was plastering this face of Levi on everything

this pose too

2013 fandom basically

the gifs were everything lmao

MI CASA jokes everywhere because we were that lame lmao (like we aren’t now lol)

literally very unnecessary horse jean edits, like why lmao (and why do I have it saved qsfsfs)

BIG ASS  TREES


qsfdsfs sorry I opened this old folder of mine and got carried away, I’m so surprised of all the shit I still have saved lmao

but yeah lol

anonymous asked:

it's 02:15 am I have school tomorrow but I just went through all your voltron headcanons tag and I'm kajdjsjdjskndnsnsnsnndndjsjdjdjdn thank you so much they're amazing oh my god

i’m finally what i’ve aspired to be all my life: a bad influence

  • lance: “[gasps in spanish]” keith: “did you just say ‘gasps in spanish’ out loud”
  • coran doesn’t really get why lance keeps putting expired food goo on his face but i mean whatever makes him happy i guess
    • he’s mostly just excited someone likes the goo
  • *allura voice* “wait you mean humans can actually ‘pull a muscle’?? i thought pidge just made that up as an excuse to get out of training”
  • pidge judges lance for getting tricked by pretty girls but. like. lowkey if a robot ever asked her to follow it…..
  • hunk: “okay. stay calm. stay calm” keith: “i am calm??” hunk: “i’m talking to myself”
  • hunk teaches allura those elementary school road trip songs
    • he gets to the song that never ends which. causes some confusion
    • “but how do i know when to stop singing??” “well you kinda just go until you get bored”
    • but allura’s so!!! jazzed!!!! to be doing earth things that she can go for hours without getting bored
    • the team eventually votes to ban the song from the castle
  • shiro: “lance, can i talk to you?” lance: “oooh, someone’s in trouble. and it’s me. i don’t know why i did that.”

anonymous asked:

so gang!phil interrogating rival!dan but phils usual techniques (slapping, hitting, etc.) are just turning dan on, so instead phil just edges him til he gives in 💙

Phil cracked his knuckles, sighing as he pushed open the door to the interrogation room. He was instantly hit with a rank stench, and he flinched, crinkling his eyes in disgust.

Dan Howell sat in the middle of the room, tied to a chair, a gag over his mouth. He didn’t seem to notice Phil entering.

He had a black eye, and a cut on one cheek, so it was clear the boys had had some fun with him when they had caught him. He was still pretty cute though. And despite all this, Dan’s eyes were dry.

“Dan,” he said loudly, and the boy looked up, glaring at him fiercely.

Phil stepped forward, yanking the gag down, and Dan immediately took this opportunity to spit at him.

Phil calmly wiped it away, and Dan laughed. Phil shook his head, fiddling with the straps of the gloves they used to make punches hurt the offender less and the victim more. It was an old intimidation technique, but Dan didn’t flinch.

“You’re a goddamn idiot, Howell.” His voice was low, and he leaned down so he was at Dan’s level, their faces inches away.

“Maybe,” Dan said slowly, staring him down. “Or maybe you just don’t know why I did what I did.”

Phil stepped back, putting his foot on Dan’s chair, his clunky black boot resting between Dan’s legs.

“Unfortunately for you, that’s why I’m here.”

Dan’s subtle smirk grew, and Phil couldn’t help but growl under his breath. He was infuriating.

“Why would that be unfortunate?” Dan’s voice was light; teasing. “You know I adore our little chats.”

Phil was reminded why Dan was used for things like this - he was the best spy imaginable, and when he got caught, he wasn’t easy to crack.

Phil didn’t hesitate to swing at him, slapping him in the face, hard. Dan’s head was thrown to the side, but he came back smiling. He yawned, a strand of messy brown hair falling between his eyes.

“Thanks,” he said, his eyes flashing. “I needed that. I was falling asleep.”

Phil grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him forward roughly and practically strangling him.

“Look Howell,” he hissed, and Dan’s eyes widened slightly. “We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. And either way, you’re gonna fucking tell me why you were spying on my base, and what you know.”

Dan searched his icy blue eyes, determined not to let his confidence waver.

“I think it’s gonna have to be the hard way,” he said slowly, his eyes narrowing. “Because I’m not telling you shit.”

Phil huffed through his nose, and grabbed a handful of Dan’s hair. He tugged back roughly, and Dan let out a soft whimper, of surprise or pain, Phil couldn’t tell.

Dan’s eyes rolled back in his head, and his exposed throat somehow made Phil want to bite him. Instead he fastened a hand around it, making Dan cry out.

“I could snap your fucking neck,” Phil growled at him. “I could slit your throat. Tell me everything, and it’s all over.”

Dan gagged softly, squirming in his tight grip. “No. Hit me again, fucker.”

Phil obliged, letting go of him just to backhand him. And it looked like it hurt like hell; the impact split Dan’s lip. But Dan fucking moaned.

His eyes glinted with red hot fire, a wild grin melting to his features. “Again,” he breathed, and Phil stared at him.

Dan was a mess; he was visibly shaking, he had a black eye and a lip that was bleeding down his chin. But he was asking for more…? What did it take to break this kid?

Phil glared at the boy, punching him twice in the stomach, and shoving him backwards. The chair toppled backwards, and Dan landed on his arms, his head hitting the ground as well.

He cried out in pain, but there was something else in his tone, a sort of whine, and oh my god, this was turning him on, wasn’t it?

Phil swallowed, moving to stand over Dan, hovering above him. Dan grinned at him cockily, until Phil grabbed his face with a firm grip, and he squeaked.

“You think this is hot, don’t you?” He asked quietly, getting as close to Dan as possible without being tempted to kiss his broken lips. Dan laughed.

“And you don’t?” He smirked. “Having me like this, completely helpless? Ruining my pretty face, fuck, like the worthless piece of shit I am.”

It all clicked in Phil’s mind- why no one could seem to make Dan break. It was impossible to get information from him, simply because he liked the abuse. It made Phil even more pissed.

Phil stood back up, grabbing Dan by the hair and pulling him and the chair back up. Dan whimpered; fire shooting through his head.

“We’re gonna try something a little different,” Phil said calmly, his voice coming out sickly-sweet. Dan shivered.

“Do whatever you want,” he spit, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “I’m not saying anything.”

“Oh really? That’s too bad.” Without warning he leaned forward, his hands placed on either side of Dan’s hips, his breath brushing over the side of Dan’s neck. He ran his hand over Dan’s waistband, and then down to his (obvious at this point) bulge. “Guess you won’t be coming anytime soon, then.”

“Wha-” Dans breath caught and the words got stuck in his throat as Phil ran his fingertips over his hard on, certainly not making it better. “What d-do you mean?” He choked out.

Phil ignored him, pushing his hand into Dan’s pants, under his boxers, and ran his thumb over Dan’s tip.

Dan whined rather loudly, squirming on the chair, but the ropes made it so it was nearly impossible for him to move.

“Phil,” he breathed, trying to shift his hips away. “What are you d-doing…?”

Phil grinned maliciously. Finally, he had found something that would actually affect Dan. And he was going to have some fun with it.

“Mmh, just giving my whore what he wants,” he breathed in Dan’s ear, and Dan couldn’t help but moan.

Phil moved his hand, wrapping his fingers around Dan’s length. He watched Dan bite down on his bottom lip as Phil moved his hand, slowly teasing him, his thumb brushing over Dan’s slit occasionally.

Soon enough Dan was a whimpering mess, and he seemed to have given up any integrity he may have had left. His head fell back on the chair, his eyes closed, and he was attempting to rut against Phil’s hand while letting out an endless stream of high pitched moans. Phil had to be honest, it was sexy as hell.

Phil could tell Dan was getting close by the increase in pitch of his noises, and the way his hips stuttered. His cock was leaking precum, which made it easier for Phil to slide his hand up and down Dan’s shaft.

“Now,” he said softly, sweetly, even, slowing down his movements to a near halt. “Are you gonna tell me what you were doing outside the base, slut?”

Dan whined, his eyes opening, and he licked his lips.

“Please-”

“Answer the question.”

Phil stopped his movements all together, holding his hand at the base of Dan’s dick so he couldn’t cum even if he was able to.

Dan searched his face, chewing on the inside of his cheek before muttering, “no.”

At that Phil just smiled meanly, biting down on Dan’s throat and sucking hard, leaving a dark bruise in its place.

“That’s okay.” He laughed, and Dan looked almost scared. “We’ve got time.”

That began the next unbearable moments for Dan, with Phil scratching bright red marks down his thighs and occasionally leaving hickeys all over his neck and jaw.

And here’s the thing; Dan did not want to beg. He hated begging. Begging was admitting your defeat, and that was something Dan simply couldn’t do. But right then, Dan was probably closer to breaking down than he had been in his entire life.

He wanted to cum, he had been so close, and when Phil had stopped-

It was worse than any physical pain he could inflict.

When Phil started moving his hand again, Dan almost cried. He started slow again, gradually speeding up, stopping occasionally to flick his wrist around Dan’s head.

“Mmph, fuck,” Dan whined, his head falling back, beginning to lose his mind again. “Ph-Phil, please make me cum, please.”

“You wanna cum?” Phil growled softly, speeding up even more, and Dan practically screamed.

“Yes-! F-Fuck, n-need to…!”

Phil smirked, watching Dan’s face and admiring how he fell apart just from some pain and a hand around his cock. He was gorgeous, his face all roughed up and his hair falling in his eyes, sticking from sweat. Phil wanted to fuck his brains out, but then wasn’t really the time.

“Too bad,” he said finally, stopping again right when Dan was the closest possible.

Dan let out an incredulous noise, groaning, his hips bucking into nothing, desperate for friction.

“Fuck you,” he said breathlessly, his voice breaking. “Fuck you, Phil Lester. Let me cum.”

“Tell me what I need to know, sweetheart.” He dipped two fingers under Dan’s chin, bringing his face up. “Or, trust me, I could do this all day.”

Dan shook his head.

Twenty minutes later, and Dan was visibly shaking again. Tears streamed down his face, and he didn’t even remember when they had started. His hips constantly twitched, and he had to gasp for breath.

“Please.” His voice was soft and broken and desperate and sleepy; goddamn beautiful. “Please, Phil, I need it, I-”

“Aw.” Phil stuck out his lower lip, mocking him. “Poor baby. Poor desperate little whore, do you need to cum, my love?”

Dan shuddered, nodding frantically, not even above falling for Phil’s teasing.

Phil slapped him, the noice echoing through the room, and Dan moaned.

“Then tell me what I fucking need to know, Dan. It’s that simple,” he hissed through his teeth.

Dan whimpered, sleepily shaking his head. But then Phil’s mouth was on his dick, his jeans shoved down, and god, he had been close for an hour now. He just needed it so bad.

His eyes rolled back in his head, and he squeezed them shut.

Phil had been edging him for so goddamn long, he was going crazy. He was so weak, and every second that Phil touched him, he got closer. The very edge, and Phil’s hot, wet mouth was closed around him, humming, and fuck he was going to cum. It was right there, and then…

Phil pulled off with a pop, glaring at him. Dan could scream. And then he lost it.

“Phil, f-fuck, your mouth is so good, please-” he choked on the words, the emotion and need getting caught in his throat, and there were tears on his cheeks again. “Please, need to cum, please let me, p-please-” he hiccuped, shaking his head desperately. “Please, no more. N-No more, I’ll tell you!”

Phil smiled, drawing his thumb down Dan’s cheek.

“Mmh, good boy,” he hummed, and Dan soaked up the praise, nuzzling against Phil’s hand like a kitten. He didn’t care anymore. “That’s all I wanted. Tell me everything, and then you can cum.”

Dan nodded frantically, sniffing, the words spilling from his mouth like a waterfall. How he had been sent to scope out the new recruits, how his gang had been planning to kidnap one of the new kids, hold him hostage. Even how they had anticipated that Dan would get caught, and how he would try and get information on the inside as well.

At the end Dan broke down, a sob catching in his throat, still so fucking hard, his dick still leaking and straining to reach his stomach.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Phil said sweetly, fastening his hand around Dan’s cock for the thousandth time.

Dan sucked in a sharp breath, his head lolling backwards, whimpering softly.

Phil got him off in a matter of moments, and Dan moaned loudly and high pitched as he spilled over Phil’s hand and his stomach.

Phil untied him, seeing as he was practically passed out, and Dan slumped to the ground.

He stood over him, looking over the exhausted, broken boy laying on the ground beneath him, breathing heavily. What a gorgeous mess.

He leaned over, kneeling next to him and lifting his head up by his hair. Dan didn’t even react, except for glancing at him sleepily.

“Needless to say, you can’t go back to your gang,” Phil said calmly.

“You gonna kill me?” Dan asked, more like a statement, as if he didn’t even care what the answer was.

“No…” Phil hummed, letting Dan lay back down and running his fingers through his tangled hair. “I was thinking you’d stay here. With me.”

Dan made a noise of acknowledgment, licking his ripped up lips.

“If it means we can do that again, then I’m down.”

4

Everyone
Every hope
The silver lining that you’ve ignored

It won’t be the same anymore
Anyway
Anyhow
Bring me back to life
Everything I’ve done before
Comes crashing down, I’m feeling low
But is this the reality or just another dream
Maybe I’m falling
Believing
And dreaming
Or am I dead?
Ahh
Everything is gone now
I’m six feet under
Regrets and memories, for me to wonder
Rest in peace
They say to me
But I just wanted to be free
Free
Maybe falling
Believing
I’m Dreaming
Or am I dead?
Ahh
And this silence
Bred into my selfless violence
What have I done to myself?
Just to kill my pride
And now I am dead
Why cant you hear me right now

Nightcall ft. Dreamhour - Dead V

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gsd8EjJfKV0

——-

GIF GIF GIF GIF…. this shouldn´t become one at the beginning… and then… it got out of control @_@ And I made 10 or 15 versions of that piece, because I am NOT HAPPY, how Jian Yi came out T___T I am so sorry for the fans, I will try to make something better the next days!! And I know now, that I can´t draw anything that I want… that head + face was the hell for me :( I have so much to practice, and on the other side sooo many ideas, that I wanna bring on my screen!! But I don´t like the last things I draw, especially THIS!! I wanna cry…. I am not good at all now, and one week ago I was so happy to get so many, wonderful new followers, but now I am like “why do they like that pieces of sh**??” I can´t make ME pleased, so how is it, that I make other people happy with it? ARRR my head hurts and my mood is not good, so I will go shopping now with my mom and hope that it become better ;)~

(This started as a response to this post of @rcmclachlan‘s but immediately took on a life of its own and got so long that I think it would be rude/derailing as a response, so here it is as its own post, sorry about whatever this is.)

I’ve just decided that Yuuri Katsuki is the Hugh Dancy of photoshoots, in that every photographer meets him, goes slightly cross-eyed, panics, and starts throwing questionable props at him and putting him in ridiculous situations.

Yuuri Katsuki as Hugh Dancy drinking a mojito on a ladder in a pool for no reason.

Yuuri Katsuki as Hugh Dancy Not Knowing How Chairs Work

Yuuri Katsuki as Hugh Dancy In Eyeliner And A Collar


Yuuri thinks this is just how photoshoots work, don’t they?  It’s how his have always worked, anyway, he sort of assumes his photos always seem so weird because it’s just some flaw in him, that he’s so unattractive photographers have to distract from his terrible face and katsudon body with weird settings and poses and props. 

At some point Phichit tries to sit him down for a conversation about how he has to stop doing That Look at his photographers because it incapacitates them and that’s what leads to things like that photoshoot where he’s balancing a pumpkin on his head while a chicken stares at him.  And Yuuri is just all; what look, I am trying not to make eye contact at all, it’s the only way I can survive having so many people looking at me, why are there so many makeup people.  And Phichit has to explain that it comes off as gazing coyly up through your eyelashes, Yuuri, you were practically batting them at the poor man and Yuuri just wails I COULDN’T SEE HIM, YOU TOOK MY GLASSES AWAY, I WAS SQUINTING.  

Phichit just: that poor man, he thinks you’re practically engaged, please wear your contacts and stop accidentally making people fall in love with you, I am running out of space on my wall for photos of you not knowing how different kinds of furniture work.


What I’m saying is that when Yuuri eventually stammers out to Phichit that he’s thinking of having some, you know, *lowered voices*, boudoir photos taken for Viktor’s birthday, Phichit’s response is twofold.  

First: get him, Tiger.  Second: hire a lesbian who will not give two fucks about your Eros but actually understands photography. It’s the only way they will turn out actually-sexy and not you naked-but-strategically-draped-in-goldfish, standing en pointe in a Home Depot, for some reason, waving a box of crackers.

Phichit assumes his advice was followed when Viktor’s one and only social media post on his birthday is I AM DEAD. I AM DEAD AND MY PERFECT AND PRECIOUS HUSBAND HAS KILLED ME, RIP ME, MY SOUL HAS LEFT MY BODY, I AM ASCENDING TO A HIGHER PLANE NOW.

Then again, who knows.  That’s also the sort of thing Viktor posts on any random Tuesday if he caught a glimpse of Yuuri’s ankle during dinner or something.

Phichit sends Yuuri a thumbs-up emoji anyway, because he’s an idiot and needs all the encouragement he can get.

2

it’s hard to put you in a box when you keep it so blurry,
i think it’s just to hide that you’re secretly moving out and getting a dog

Just A Stand In

[Lance]
La da da da da
I’m gonna pilot red in your place
La da da da da
This ain’t gonna end in disgrace
I’m gonna pilot red and ignore Keith’s pretty face
I’m gonna…

[Keith]
(spoken)
Lance concentrate

[Lance]
(spoken)
Oh… You don’t like that? Or do you just not like me!
(sung)
Sorry I don’t treat you like a leader
Is that what you want me to do?
Sorry I don’t treat you like you’re perfect
Like all our other teammates do
Sorry I’m not made of iron
Am I not strong enough for you?
Is that why you always ignore me?
That must be such an inconvenience to you
Well… I’m just a stand in
I’m just a stand in
It’s like I’m not even a paladin, am I?
I’m just a stand in
Well, I shouldn’t have to justify what I do
I shouldn’t have to prove anything to you
I’m sorry that I exist, I forget what landed me on your blacklist
But I shouldn’t have to be the one that makes up with you
So… why do I want to?
Why do I want to…
To… punch you in the face
And tear the hair from your… Ugh

Bts reacting to you being a day care teacher!

Request: Bts reacting to you teaching kids in a day care center

Namjoon:

“So you work with kids yeah?”

“Yeah… why?”

“Maybe I could help teach! Reading and math! Condensation, percipitation, evaporation! Balancing chemicals!”

“Joon, they’re five.”

*Eyes start sparkling at the thought of teaching them too”

Originally posted by sugaa

Jin:

“Kids you say?”

“Mhm!”

*Scoots away from you*

“uhm?”

“Kids have boogers and pick things they aren’t supposed to… go take a shower before touching me with your germs!”

“The only kid with germs here is you!” *You stick your tongue out at him*

Originally posted by jhopefluxo

Hoseok:

“A kid teacher? Wahh, you must have a lot of patience.”

“Of course, I mean I’m dating you right?”

“Why must you attack me??”

Originally posted by rninyoonqi

Yoongi:

“Makes sense.”

“What does that mean?”

“You working there. You have a mindset like a 5 year old.”

“Excuse me? I’m an adult >:( an adult who won’t be doing anything sexual with her boyfriend since he wants to be a meanie face.”

“An adult wouldn’t say meanie face.”

Originally posted by kookies-for-taehyung

Taehyung:

“Alright kids now gather aro- Tae? TAE?!”

“Heeeeey y/n”

“Wha-what are you doing here?”

“You said you worked with kids so here I am.”

“I didn’t even tell you where I work, how?”

*Completely ignores you to play with the kids*

Originally posted by deathlymaze

Jimin: 

“Wanna come with me to work Jimin?”

“To the day care?”

“Yep.”

“HECK YEAH IM ALREADY READY LETS GO!”

“Why are you so excited?”

“I’m gonna be the tallest one…”

Originally posted by xcrazyfangirlx

Jungkook:

“So you know how you work at a day care right?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Well what if we buy them camo outfits and start a kid army?”

“We’re not making my kids soldiers for your own entertainment!”

“You never go with my plans… hoe”

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

Days of the week (smut)

Words: 1148

Warning: Smut

Reader x All the members

A/N:  This is a special smut that contains 8 parts, this is the first one and does not have smut yet

Days of the week l Monday - Jin l   Days of the week: Tuesday - Yoongi l


Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

 Everything started with a fan meeting. Everything started only with that.  You were nothing but just a fan, a fan who never thought that all that would happen. Once you went there, your life changed.

  You were there, waiting for your turn to see them, to talk to them, to give them gifts. You couldn’t be more anxious, you had been waiting for that moment all life. And finally, your turn came. You talked to them, one by one, sharing smiles and compliments. In the end of the FM, when you were about to leave – it was already empty, you wanted to stay there the most you could - someone stopped you. You turned around, and a big man was standing behind you.

“Can I help you?” you asked politely, and kinda scared.

“Come with me, please” the man said. He must be one of the securities, and your stomach started to burn up. What did you have done? Why was he calling you? What the fuck. The man took you to the backstage and while you walked thru the hallway, no one seemed to pay attention on you both. The man stopped in front of a door and looked at you.

 “I am the boys’ bodyguard. They are right inside this room” he said. Namjoon, Jin, Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin, Yoongi and Hoseok were right there? What was gonna happen?

“They want to talk to you” You felt your body tensing up; you felt your heart stopping. What… the…fuck…? They want to talk to me? Oh my… “But I have to check you before”.

When he finished checking you, he looked at you again.

“And one more thing… You have to assign something” he said and gave you a paper.

Confidentiality Term?

“What is this for?”

“You can’t see them if you don’t assign this” He said.

Right.

You did as he said.

“You can go in”.

And just this way, he opened the door, and there they were. The youngest ones were sat, while the hyungs were standing. You entered into the room, your body shaking while you heard the door being closed.

“Hello” Namjoon said, “nice to meet you again” he said. Oh ma.

“H-hi, oh my God” you said, voice trembling.  You looked at their faces; they were looking at you as if you were an animal in a zoo, smiling cockily. They said a “hi” in unison.

“Don’t be nervous. What’s your name again?” he asked. Of course they don’t remember, they knew a lot of fans today.

“Y/N” you answered, blushing.

“And how old are you?” Jin asked. You almost lost your conscience because of the sound of his voice.

 “I am 18”.

 What was happening? What did they want? And whatever they wanted, why me? You must be dreaming. You were not in a room with the boys of BTS.

“Hum… old enough”.

They kept talking to you, asking things and you just answered, not daring to ask what was happening. But minutes later, maybe hours, you didn’t know, after a lot of conversation, the boys told you to sit.

“You are really beautiful, you know?” Taehyung said, making you wide your eyes. His deep voice did send you shiver. His lips… oh.

“Huh, t-thank you” you said, your face probably redder than a tomato.

“You are single?” Jin asked.

 “Yes” you answered.

“Well, Y/N. We gotta say that the fact you are wonderful is seen by all of us. Not just wonderful…You are hot too…” Namjoon said, his voice deepened as he said “hot”, looking you up and down. Your heart rushed. Did Namjoon say you were hot? Nah… Taehyung sat beside you, and your body tensioned. He seemed to notice because he smirked cockily.

“Are you nervous?” he asked. You nodded.

“Why Am I here? Did I do something wrong?” you asked shyly. They laughed.

 “Of course you didn’t, baby girl. Tell us… as a fan… you think we are hot, don’t you?” Yoongi said.

What?

“O-of course I do” you said, blushing and looking down.  You felt Taehyung getting closer to you.

“And would you like to kiss me?” he asked, putting his arms around you. Oh my God that couldn’t be happening. Not with you. He got closer, his lips touching your ear, “would you like to touch me? Would you want me to…” he said, his hands flew to your thighs, squeezing at it and making you jump by the sudden touch, “Fuck you, hard and good?”

 The world stopped to you. You looked at him by the moment he said that. Did he say…did he ask…? Shit. You looked at the boys and they didn’t seem to be surprised. They didn’t act. They just stayed there, waiting for you to answer. You were so chocked that you didn’t realize Jimin had sat in your other side.

“Wouldn’t you want me to suck on your clit?” he said, his hand on your other thigh, getting up toward your breast, “or your boobs”

You got up immediately. What the fuck are you doing? Don’t. You didn’t know what to do.

 “We are sorry… sorry” Taehyung said, now apparently worried because of your reaction “We shouldn’t have touched you, we are sorry. You can go if you want”

No way.

“Why did you call me?” you asked. “That’s what I want to know”.

 “We liked you. We want you” Jin said simply. You looked at their faces again and noticed that Jungkook was the only one who wasn’t talked yet. So he is really shy.

“All you?” you asked shyly, looking at Jungkook.

“Yes, all of us” Jungkook said, making you surprised again. He was so fucking cute. They kept there, waiting for you to say something, anything.

 “I… I don’t think I understand” you said. What did they want? To fuck you all at once?

 “We are seven. There are seven days a week. We want you. That’s it. But if you don’t want to, you can go. But remember you can’t tell this to anyone” Namjoon said.

You thought about it… You wanted of course, but that was so sudden.

“You won’t live with us or something… We are staying here for 2 more weeks, and then we leave. You’ll go to our hotel room to see us when we call you and that’s it. Don’t think you are a slut because of it. You will be just a girl who wants to fuck her idols. Her idols who want to fuck her too”

That’s enough.

“Yes” you said.

“What?” Jimin and Hoseok asked, this time surprised.

“Yes. Let’s do that”  

Did I just accept?

 All of sudden, Jin walked towards you and grabbed your waist, pushing you back till your back hit the wall. He licked your earlobe while squeezing your butt with both his hands and whispered:

“Tomorrow is Monday. I am the first one”

Strawberries (Damian Wayne x Reader) *Collab with Colormemeow*

A/N: Here’s the fic me and @colormemeow wrote together in celebration of our 300 milestone!

Warnings: None!



You had woken up that morning, unenthusiastically expecting an empty apartment. It had been unbearably boring ever since Batman had temporarily grounded you from patrol.  But instead of the usual empty house, you found Damian, flopped unceremoniously onto your couch, looking like he’d been hit by, well, a Batmobile.

“Um… Hello?” you greeted and walked over to the sofa, kneeling so that you could make eye contact with him.

“Good morning,” he replied, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

This had happened before, so the shock factor had worn off slightly.

“You, my friend, are getting blood all over my couch,” you pointed out.

‘It’s not my blood,” he tried to reassure you.

“That’s not any better! Now, why don’t we get you out of that uniform?“

“Beloved, are you attempting to flirt with me?” Damian responded, smirking.

“If you think that this is flirting, you’re out of your damn mind. I’m saying that you smell bad and I want you to shower, so get off of my couch,” you said, quickly pecking him on the nose.

He huffed in annoyance before rolling off the couch and making his way to your bathroom.

“Your shampoo is in there!” you called from the linen closet, where you were trying to see if Damian had left any clothes at your house.

Damian stood in the shower, looking at your bottles of soap. On the shower shelf, there was a wide array of soaps, including the shampoo you had gotten for him when he stayed over. However, a different bottle caught his eye.


Damian walked out into your bedroom, to find the clothes you had laid out, for him. He raised an eyebrow at the choice, but chose not to complain. A few minutes later he walked out of your room wearing grey sweats and an undersized black t-shirt. Damian noticed a pink sweatshirt sitting on a chair. He stopped to consider his dignity before putting on the sweatshirt. It fit and was fairly warm, so he didn’t mind the color.


You were lying on your sofa, snacking on a bowl of strawberries that you had gotten for yourself while waiting for Damian to get out of the shower. There was a loud thumping sound, followed by a string of curses.

“Don’t you dare die on me!” you shouted from the couch, trying to make sure Damian didn’t kill himself in your shower.

About ten minutes later, you were met with Damian, draping himself gracelessly over you, Damian’s damp hair was pressed into the crook of your neck. “Hello,” you greeted for the second time that morning. Before Damian could reply, you spoke again. “Did you use my shampoo?”

“It smelled like strawberries, I couldn’t help it, beloved,” he said into your neck, tangling his legs with yours.

“Smells nice on you. And is that my hoodie?” You moved one hand to run your fingers through his hair.

“Maybe.”

“Pink’s a good color on you,” you remarked sarcastically.

Damian hummed in response, and shifted so that he could kiss you, with his arms on either side of your head. He gave you several short pecks on the lips. “Marry me,” he mumbled, his face hovering over yours.

“I’m not that insane,” you replied, smirking and moving your head up to give him another kiss.

“I’m serious,” he responded, but his phone started to ring. He moved one arm to pull it out of the pocket of his sweats. “It’s my father, beloved. I probably have to go,” he sighed.

“No,” you whined, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Stay.”

“Beloved, I-” he stopped when he saw your pout. “Fine,” he muttered. “But what if it’s serious?”

“Promise me you’ll stay,” you begged, kissing him once again.

“Beloved, it is getting increasingly difficult to say no to you,” Damian said, furrowing his brow.

“I can make it worth your while,” you giggled, popping a strawberry into your mouth.

“You’re too good for this world, beloved,” he chuckled, then pressed his lips onto yours in a heated kiss.

His arms returned to either side of your head as the kiss grew more passionate. Your hands were on his chest, and the kiss broke for him to hastily pull off the pink sweatshirt and t-shirt.

Your position changed slightly, and now Damian’s knees were on either side of your hips, and he had your arms pinned above your head.

His lips were rough against yours and he kissed you fiercely.

You and Damian were both too preoccupied to hear the soft thunk coming from your fireplace.

It wasn’t until Bruce loudly cleared his throat that you both turned to look. There he was, in the full Batman suit.

Damian jerked off of the couch, landing on the floor. You heard a string of arabic cursing before he collected himself. “H-hello, father!” he exclaimed, looking absolutely mortified, his face almost as pink as the sweatshirt he’d been wearing. “It’s a bit early for you to be out, isn’t it?” Damian tried, attempting to avoid Bruce’s interrogation.

“Damian, would you like to explain to me why you elected not to report back to the cave after patrol last night?” Bruce questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. “And explain to me what this is,” he continued, gesturing to the two of you in your disheveled state.

You were practically petrified. Having your adoptive father-figure walk in on you and his son making out was not a comfortable situation.

“Father I am nineteen. I might remind you that I’m an adult,” Damian argued.

Bruce sighed, looking as if he was making a decision. “Fine,” he grumbled. “I’m too young to be having grandchildren,” he muttered to himself, making your face go bright red. In another instant, he was gone.

“I should probably go, beloved,” Damian reasoned, getting up and starting to change into his uniform.

“Yeah, I guess,” you admitted, sighing in defeat and standing up.

“I’ll be back later tonight after patrol,” he told you, walking over and taking your hands in his.

“Just do one last thing and kiss me,” you replied, smiling gently.

He nodded and kissed you softly. “Just so you know, beloved, I was serious about marrying you.”

And before you knew it he was out your window and off to save the world.

Silly Sentence Starters

“Okay what the fuck you CAN’T eat all that shrimp in one go”

“I know I brought home six kittens but listen”

“It’s not ‘’’’’obsessive’’’’ I just like watching him throughout the day as a hobby”

“We should dress up as something cringy and film a youtube video of it,  we’ll be famous”

“God I fucking hate ducks, they have no business being so cocky”

“This is why this relationship doesn’t work, because of you, and your always in first place on rainbow road. THIS. IS. WHY.”

“I know you don’t consider Filthy Frank to be art but I do so we need to meet in the middle here”

“I am NOT gay for them, I know we kissed and tried to get married but it wasn’t like I like them or anything”

“God I want an otter, let’s go get one now. Let’s just steal it from the zoo. They can’t stop us”

“One of my socks has a whole in it so I’m going to shoot myself”

“I know bees help the Earth but my face??? not the Earth”

“Monkeys make me so uncomfortable, they scream too much”

“If another baby cries while we’re in this store I am going to fist fight it’s mother”

“Get that fucking vegetable AWAY FROM ME” 

✧ ( SHAMELESS SENTENCE STARTERS.

warning: triggers apply. adult language, sexual themes, violence, offensive subjects, offensive behaviors. please read & reblog with caution.

❛ And what exactly does “hooked up” mean? ❜
❛ It’s like a car wreck… you can’t not watch. ❜
❛ What’s that smell? It’s either vomit or fancy cheese. ❜
❛ There is no God. We’re all gonna die. ❜
❛ The hell? You’re supposed to negotiate! ❜
❛ If you’re looking for money, I don’t have any yet.  ❜
❛ How do you feel about metal splinters to the eye? ❜
❛ Are you up-to-date on your rabies shots? ❜
❛ I don’t like that you’re getting hurt on purpose to make money. ❜
❛ You’re kidding me? You’re actually serious about this shit? ❜
❛ You’re kinda growing on me. ❜
❛ Wanna see how fast I can unhook your bra? ❜
❛ You make my life a living hell and I want you out of here now. ❜
❛ Half of the world has penises, why do people get so upset about seeing them? ❜
❛ You’re nothing but a warm mouth to me. ❜
❛ I think I’m depressed. I’ve been feeling kind of funky lately. ❜
❛ I never said it was yours. You just wanted it to be. ❜
❛ Wouldn’t be the first time somebody’s disappointed me. ❜
❛ I don’t mean to be an asshole. It’s just… genetic. ❜
❛ Fuck you is what you were invited to. ❜
❛ I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of pussy you’d be in juvie. ❜
❛ I want normal people problems. Like, am I getting enough fiber? ❜
❛ Hey, I think I just insulted myself. ❜
❛ Hey! What the fuck man! He’s/she’s dead! ❜
❛ Oh, could you be a little more vague? ❜
❛ You came all the way down here to talk about my pubes? ❜
❛ How the fuck do you not have a gun? ❜
❛ Sure you’re ready to pop your armed robbery cherry? ❜
❛ You should have seen your face. ❜
❛ You don’t know who you messed with, bitch. ❜
❛ You fuck with the bull, you get an ass full of horns! ❜
❛ I’m not used to having people yell at me all day long. ❜
❛ I have this friend. I think you two might really hit it off. ❜
❛ I’ve seen you put out after the first drink. ❜
❛ You know, I’d hug you but neither of us would like that. ❜
❛ I don’t get why just don’t use her/his face for target practice. ❜
❛ I want a fucking lawyer motherfucker! ❜
❛ You’re covering your own ass and you know it. ❜
❛ You know I used a condom. ❜
❛ Do you know where I can buy a gun? ❜
❛ You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch! ❜
❛ I’m starting to get fucking homicidal. ❜
❛ I will make this kitchen my bitch. ❜
❛ They’re having a party for kids across the street. No booze. ❜
❛ A shrink at school says I’m one of God’s mistakes. ❜
❛ I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you! ❜
❛ Did the two of us finish an entire gallon of box wine the other night? ❜
❛ I can’t handle anything up my ass without alcohol! ❜
❛ I’d be crying right now if I wasn’t so high. ❜
❛ I’m not my dad. You hear me? I’m not my fucking dad! ❜
❛ I would never do half the shit that you’ve done to us. Why are you even here? ❜
❛ Even the homeless get better stuff than us. ❜
❛ I am just as likely as anyone of this family to make something of myself. ❜
❛ You want to get shit faced in the middle of the day.  ❜
❛ You have no money yet you’re going into a grocery store. Interesting. ❜
❛ Let’s go get drunk and buy a gun. ❜
❛ It’s a shame when someone you love gets taken away, isn’t it? ❜
❛ If this is a relationship you wanna save, then you gotta fucking save it. ❜
❛ Off to deal drugs on a Saturday morning? ❜
❛ I’m probably biased, you deserve better than him. ❜
❛ If you don’t get out right now, I will shoot you. ❜
❛ Still don’t want your family to know? ❜
❛ Did I mention that I’m falling in love with you? ❜
❛ You can’t feel a persons headache by touching his head. ❜
❛ Are you robbing me with my own fucking gun? ❜
❛ How can you tell when you’re in love with someone? ❜
❛ Is that supposed to be some kind of insult? ❜
❛ I’m done living the way other people want me to live. ❜
❛ I think I was trying to prove something, not to you but to myself.  ❜
❛ If it wasn’t sex then what was the problem? ❜
❛ What do you want me to say? That I’m self-destructive? ❜
❛ Random destruction makes you think of me? ❜
❛ I haven’t abused marijuana like the rest of you, so yes I remember. ❜
❛ Your turf? What is this West Side Story? ❜
❛ All I’m gonna be thinking about while you choke me out is how much I love you. ❜
❛ If I don’t invest in myself, no one else will. ❜
❛ It smells worse than a dead hooker’s ass in there. ❜
❛ I don’t wanna be me anymore. ❜
❛ Why would anyone go to the zoo sober? ❜
❛ I’ve had so many abortions the next one is free. ❜
❛ I’d trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep. ❜
❛ How do you do that? The nice thing? ❜
❛ I’m sick of living in your shadow. ❜
❛ I never thought I’d say this but you were right. ❜
❛ Where can I get knives and blunts? ❜
❛ I can’t share a room with someone in constant state of arousal! ❜
❛ I’m sneaking antibiotics into his toothpaste just in case. ❜
❛ I got tasered for like a second and I crapped myself. ❜
❛ I’ve never seen you put on deodorant before. ❜
❛ I haven’t had a drink for two days…well granted I was unconscious. ❜
❛ I’ll be in the bushes across the street stalking you. ❜
❛ Is there anything more enjoyable on earth than humiliating your peers? ❜
❛ I need to buy a gun. For protection. In case there’s a shooting here. I’m scared. ❜
❛ It’s my job to tell you when you’re making a huge mistake. ❜
❛ Have you ever woken up naked in the street with no idea how you got there? ❜
❛ You’re either boning or you’re waiting to bone. ❜
❛ Doctors are thieves, they just have degrees to keep them out of jail. ❜
❛ You want me to be realistic? Okay, I’ll be realistic. ❜
❛ I confided in you and you told everyone. ❜
❛ I have no idea what that means but I’m enjoying trying to picture it. ❜
❛ I never made any fucking promises to you! ❜