why am i laughing of this

6

Gintoki: “You’re going after the wrong guy. I’m your opponent.”
Hijikata: “Hey! You’re the one who went after the wrong guy! Why’d you throw poop in my face?”
Gintoki: “I didn’t. It got sucked into your face like it was going home to where it belonged.”
Hijikata: “Whose face are you calling a toilet?!”

Monday Fic Rec

Hello! Guess who almost forgot it was Monday again! Anw, enjoy: 

Don’t Bite Your Tongue by Anonymous:

Summary: Louis looked down at Harry’s chest, and… shit. He was wearing a Manchester United shirt.
“You were right.” Harry inhaled through his teeth. “Someone stole your seat. A horrid little Man U fan, at that.”
“Are you seriously not getting up?” Louis laughed humourlessly. “You little shit.”
“You didn’t call me and then you ask me for a favour? Please.”
-
City and United are competing for the Premiership but, for Louis and Harry, it’s not just the title that hangs in the balance.

Word count: 4,643

evocatio by lapoesieestdanslarue:

Summary: Evocatio; a latin word, referring to the method of how an army would try to tempt out a god or goddess from a city in order to ransack it.

or; Louis is torn between the dead-end life he’d had in Doncaster and left long ago, and his new life in London. Mostly he’s just confused by and halfway in love with the farmer that has long hair and green eyes.

Word count: 13,817

You Can Take Her Place Tonight by inkedlads:

Summary: After Harry got what he wanted, he would never call Louis again. He is just taking the place of his girlfriend tonight but Louis didn’t know that. He thought Harry actually had interest in him.

Louis is a sweet 19 year old omega who happens to be a fan of Harry’s. Harry is a 22 year old rising rockstar, the alpha of every omega’s and even some beta’s dreams.

Louis is going to find out that Harry isn’t everything he is made out to be. Louis’ dreams come true but now he feels like he is living a nightmare instead of a dream.

Word count: 3,018

In My Dark Times by Styles9491:

Summary: “Some things once you’ve loved them become yours forever, and if you try to let them go, they only circle back and return to you. They become a part of who you are… or they destroy you.”

Louis Tomlinson begins college in London after transferring from Doncaster and meets Harry Styles who will change his future. Somehow, he gets caught up in Harry’s world, and soon realizes things aren’t always as they seem.And things aren’t at all what they seem. Harry holds a secret that Louis soon discovers. And Harry’s secret, Darren Johnson, will do anything to keep Harry to himself.

Or the one where Louis moves to London to attend college and he meets Harry, who just happens to be the fuck boy to a well-respected professor.

Word count: 168,283

Your Hands are like Stars by Harry_heUnicorn:

Summary: Louis’ not sure whether Harry ever really noticed how sad he was, but Louis knew. He saw it every time his eyes flickered over to him. The air around him was so delicate and breakable, icy to the touch and acidic in taste.

Two boys, broken and hurting, but clinging on to the world and each other. This is a story of pain and desperation, of hope and an amazing strength to keep on going, to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Word count: 12,013

Your Side of the Bed by stormquotes:

Summary: Louis doesn’t believe in walking out of anyone’s life even when they’ve walked out of his.

Basically, Harry is trying to cope with the loss of his mother and he unwillingly abandons his husband and their family in a time of need. Louis just wants him to come back to bed with him before he can’t feel him anymore.

Word count: 19,641

Brooklyn Saw Me by Anonymous:

Summary: In the cold and unforgiving city of New York, Louis doesn’t have a home and Harry wants to give him one. But as their heartstrings become increasingly intertwined, and the snow continues to fall, home is getting harder and harder to find.

Word count: 28,537

Tiny Little Mouth Kisses by louismodel:

Summary: “Second of all, how do you want to kiss me? Like properly?”

“Erm…” Now it’s Harry’s turn to stutter and be nervous. Louis fights a smile, they’re even now. “Like, you know? When you get angry you look really… um, adorable? Like, ugh, you pout and… oh god, do I really need to say it?” Louis nods. “Oh my god, well, okay, it’s my fault anyway. So, when you’re being pouty, it looks like, oh god, you want to be kissed? Does it even make sense? No, no, it looks like your lips want, need to be kissed. Just a small kiss. Baby kiss. Tiny. Little. Whatever.”

Word count: 11,250

Save Me by Anonymous:

Summary: Without much panic, but with a plan in mine, only hoping it wasn’t a stupid one, he turned around and let his body fall in the water.He yelped loudly to make sure he was heard by the people around the pool, especially Harry, and stayed underwater, counting until ten. The temperature of the water was cool, a very welcome change from the merciless sun he had been under all morning. When the air inside his lungs wasn’t enough anymore, Louis resurfaced, flailing his arms around and pretending his was coughing water.

“Help!” he yelled, putting his natural acting skills in good use for once.

Harry is the new hot lifeguard and Louis decides to fake drown to get closer to him.

Word count: 22,007

Lose Myself in Time by Anonymous:

Summary: When Harry is sixteen years old he works as an intern at his favorite theater in the world nestled up in the mountains of rural Vermont. He takes one look at the older, more mature, Assistant Master Electrician Louis Tomlinson and falls in love. From afar.

Word count: 14,480

SOS: On Friday I’ll be Updating all of My WIP’s

Chapter 20 SOS: 

“That’s not true. That woman is a witch.” Ivy jumped up.

Katniss stood up. “Don’t you dare call my mother a witch!”

“What are you gonna do about it, Flaberdeen?” Ivy challenged.

“Don’t you dare call her names, ya’ whore.” Bristel stood up next to Katniss.

Ivy laughed, “It finally makes sense why you two have never gotten married. Is she your lover Bristel, are you and Katniss getting it on? Is that what your mommy was telling you, Flaberdeen,” Ivy taunted.

Chapter 12 SOS:

“Quitting early?” Jo asked from her side.

Startled, Katniss looked at Jo.

“You should stick around. There’s more to come, surely. They will be singing and causing waywardness all night long.”

“I am not interested in it.” Katniss chose to tell the truth. After seeing Peeta with another woman, she didn’t feel like continuing on with the evening.


Chapter 16 SOS: 

There was a knock on the door. Katniss put her diary down frowning wondering who it could be. She glanced at her watch it was only six, and by all means, it was early on a Friday night, but she just didn’t have the energy. It had been a long grueling day she’d gotten all of her shipments, all the while conducting interviews for a barista. With her opening only a month and a half away Katniss was pushing her limits.

Tonight all she wanted to do is, drink some boxed wine, heat up one of those bland cardboard tasting good for you pizzas and sleep in. In many ways she was grateful her friends couldn’t make it out here this weekend, it gave her the ability to shower and slip into her pajamas.

“Peeta?”

“Dear Diary:

Dkheidkejgjie;akd;ejfidf!”

Imagine… Surprise

As it was almost your birthday, your bro Chris as always got for you the best present. A mug! You love having a mug of yours, especially after you moved living with your boyfriend, aka his brother!

The present was pretty wrapped, obviously by himself. Not that he was bad…

…just wrapping presents wasn’t his thing. When you opened it. There were 2 mugs inside!

- Christopher!!!!

*muffed laughter in the distance*

- That’s why I bought you this, sis!

- I am going to kill you!

- Why… What’s wrong with my present?

- Yeah, what’s wrong with his present? - your boyfriend stepped up for his brother.

- See for yourself! - you got the 2 mugs out.

He immediately started laugh!

- It’s not funny, stop …

- Come on… *laughter* … You… *laughing again* … you keep telling people you hate my beard…. *both laughing here* … But you grew into in, and now you love it! - they looked at you making silly faces.

- I am not!

- Come on, sis, we all have seen you petting it, like your life depends on it!

- Christopher!

- Bro, make her stop! - he whined.

- Angel, you know he doesn’t like his middle name.

- Fine… Shannon, you can start with making me hot cocoa with your coffee-transformers machine!

- I too am not pleased… Not that I don’t find your butt attractive… - he started softly - I just think the future Mrs. Leto is more than a sexy ass, if you know what I mean…

- Tell this to your brother, Joseph!

- Why are you so obsessed with our middle names? - Shannon yelled.

- Because no one knows them, and that’s my only way of talking about you without no one knowing!

- Touche! - J admitted raising his hands in defeat.

You both got a cup of hot cocoa, and Christopher made himself a god-like coffee… As always!

———-

@diyunho @rhina988 @nikkitasevoli @auntiemama1 @sookieblack12 @spillinginkwithlove @cadeathens @fanalityfiction @jayded-reality @penelopewhisp @lady-grinning-soul-k @lylabell2013 @larissaivanov @lostnorthofheaven @leto-madness @elliegrace139 @heavenlygaga

Fic Prompts: Strange Magic Monday

He sees them sometimes, out of the corner of his eye. Just shapes at times, like spotting faces in clouds. Or sometimes it’s the scent of flowers – primroses, he thinks, and he’s not sure why he knows what primroses smell like – drifting on the breeze when there is no wind.

“Am I haunted?” he’d once asked his mother, when the wisps and the scents had given way to whispers.

She’d smiled in a wistful, faraway manner and said something about his father.

“Bog” King doesn’t remember his father. Not really. Sometimes he thinks of fiery blue eyes and a laugh that somehow reminds him of tree bark, but he knows those could just as easily have been the imagination of a lonely child.

He goes about his life quietly, avoiding the other children in town, who have always made it obvious that he didn’t fit among them. Instead, he spends his time among the trees, the animals. He’s saved a handful of toads, lizards, and insects of indeterminate origin while growing up.

As he gets older, sometimes his amphibian friends seem to change shape in the corner of his vision, taking more humanoid forms. They watch him with a strange mixture of reverence and confusion. His mother has complained about his “goblin army” infesting the backyard and tormenting the neighbors, but he swears he never set them on anybody. They just…do things when he’s upset.

Bog ignores it, goes about the business of growing up. He graduates high school, he begins college, and helps his mother plant a row of flowers – primroses – along the forest border. The sense that there’s somewhere he needs to be, that he and his mother aren’t supposed to be living in a charming little house in the suburbs, washes over him almost daily. It has since he was ten, and he figures it’ll fade in time. It doesn’t.

He falls in love. He makes mistakes. For once the whispers don’t help him, and Bog begins to retreat into the increasingly overgrown yard behind his mother’s house with only his absurdly long-lived animal companions.

He doesn’t begin to understand the true weight of his predicament until the day a winged girl with cat-like eyes stumbles into his yard, and the “amphibians” take vaguely goblinish shapes to chase her off.

That was the day Griselda King had to explain to Bog their…complicated…family.

anonymous asked:

Hi just me here busting out with a stupid sex question.. Do you ever find when you climax your mind switches to something so fucking random? Like I'm sitting here minding my own business and then right the second I climax my brain just goes "hey remember when our cat died?" Is this normal or am I a sociopath because it's always dark stuff

oh gosh I’m laughing so hard because this is SO NOT UNUSUAL AT ALL this is SO SO SO NORMAL, seriously. I wish I knew WHY it happened but basically my best understanding is the brain just kind of short-circuits and you get all these random cross-fires over the neurons and the weirdest most bizarre things just sort of appear in your mind. Think of it as a computer glitch during a storm surge. “Wrong file accessed, we will report the problem to microsoft, our apologies” LOL 

Basically don’t worry. Your brain-computer just gets confused during the intense moments. <3 

(remind me to tell you guys sometime about the fetish study I learned about in my psych program)

ERJGIROJGORJOIYH WHY THE FUCK IN THE CAPTION OF MY NEW GIFSET INSTEAD OF PUTTING THE SONG LINK I PUT @martinlydia BLOG LINKEJRIFOJRTIOGJRIOTHRH 

I CANT STOP LAUGHING 

I WONT FIX IT 

I AM TOO LAZY AND PEOPLE ALREADY REBLOGGED IT

3

“Abby…”

“None of it matters anymore. I had my chance and blew it,” she said with a bitter laugh. “The best thing she could have done for herself was to walk away from a pathetic, dysfunctional mess like myself.”

“If it was for the best, then why are you two so miserable?” she said quietly.

“I’m not miserable,” she protested. Roxane didn’t say anything, she just gave her a pointed look. “Okay, maybe I am but that’s my own fault for being a screw-up. I want her to be happy. I want her to move on and find someone who’s going to treat her like the queen that she is. She deserves happiness and unconditional love - even if it isn’t with me. I’ll be fine. I have an eternity to adjust to life without her.

Even though she was saying one thing, the look on Abby’s face said something else. At her pained expression, Roxane continued, “Perhaps it’s not too late for you both.”

“I know that look,” Abby said to her. “Whatever it is you’re thinking, just stop. Don’t meddle in my affairs. Don’t even think about staging some grand reunion because that’s not going to work. She asked me to leave her alone and I will do everything in my power to respect her wishes, even if it kills me.”

“But that’s just-”

“Stay out of it, Roxane. I am begging you.”


Cederville Heights Chapter 1.17: Chance

3

“Keeping up with the Blacks”

so i was rewatching s 1 ep 5 (lol) idk if this has ever been brought up but i noticed when after the team defeats sendak pidge helps shiro and keith helps lance. (seen in the picture below)

 now, yeah thats a given but i started thinking about it more and this scene is just so out of wack that it honestly just adds another point for klance. now youre probably thinking “well i mean thats just a given and of course it adds points for klance.” but hear me out 

as a given, we know that keith and shiro have a very strong relationship and keith is really attached to shiro. keith always has shiros back and is his right hand man. so in a situation like this it should be a given that keith would be at shiros side in a heartbeat. but…. that isnt the case here which doesnt make one ounce of sense. yeah, even though pidge was at shiros side and wanted to help her fellow paladin, pidge knows how much shiro means to keith, so wouldnt she give them space and help her garrison bud instead? but she doesnt for some odd reason. 

though, the most oddest part of this whole scene though is how keith reacts. he doesnt seem to worry about shiro too much, which isnt a bad or good thing, its just weird that keith wouldnt even go to shiros side or at least check on him. keith couldve easily said to pidge “ill check on shiro, you make sure lance is okay.” but he didnt. he was totally fine going to lance even though he always seems irritated with lance. 

then this happens:

keith literally starts holding his hand. now look at these pictures of shiro and pidge and keith and lance from the same screencap:

with shiro and pidge it seems like a normal teammate helping out another one, but keith and lance on the other side…. its a little different. i know it shouldnt be a big deal but honestly its the little things that make a big difference. especially knowing that keith and lance always bicker with each other.

i think the importance of this scene is the turning point of keith and lances relationship. in the very beginning of vld, their relationship was a more shaky, but after this scene, this moment, everything changed. keith started getting jealous over lance, their weird flirting thing that they have really took off, we got to see them work more with each other, and actually being a really good team with a strong bond.

in conclusion: this scene is really goddamn gay (well it is but) this scene is so damn important and is what started everything.