why am i always so late with shows

The Magic of Moffat

Okay, so this is very, very late for Moffat Appreciation Day, and originally I was going to write something else entirely anyway. But I was watching the Doctor Who Confidential for “A Christmas Carol” for the first time, and I was reminded once again why I fell head-over-heels in love with the Moffat Era of Doctor Who and why it will probably always be my favorite era of the show.

It’s the magic of it.

We all know that magic has been a recurring theme for the past five years, but I think it bears repeating that the Moffat Era is full of magic.

It’s this magic that allows a young woman with a heavenly voice to save a spaceship full of people by singing one of the most beautiful songs ever written for a Christmas special or film.

It allows memories to bring people back into reality.

A married couple breaks a spell by dying together. A leaf destroys a vampire sun. A ghost story turns out to be a love story. An entire world is saved and an old soul redeemed by the tears of another young woman. A baby dragon hatches from the Moon, its life protected by a child and a schoolteacher. An overnight forest speaks through another child and saves a world from being burned. A group of people dying in dreams are saved by Santa Claus. A Dalek shooting you transports rather than kills you. The split-second between this heartbeat and your last stretches on almost to infinity.

What are these things if not magic? And it’s not a dark kind of magic, either—it’s not the theme of another TV show, saying that “All magic comes with a price.” This is a magic that is full of beauty and hope, that stands up to the darkness and refuses to back down.

This is the magic of Moffat, and I am forever grateful to him for it.

I know I’m a bit late but I still want to share my thoughts on a specific panel of chapter 319:

First of all, let me say how glad I am that Ohtaka-sensei decided to include a panel where Kougyoku’s tears are visible.

Kougyoku is a character that always used her facial expressions to show a variety of feelings. She’s one of the most expressive characters and we have witnessed her crying in various (and completely different) occasions. So, it is in line with her character to cry because she feels relieved and at peace.

Another reason why this panel is important to me is because fictional characters are often not allowed to express their feelings via crying or when they do they are regarded -by both media and audience- as something lesser than the less expressive characters. It’s not uncommon to see female characters that cry a lot being labeled as “crybabies”, “pathetic” or even being denied their emotional strength just because they shed a few - or more! - tears.

In my opinion, emotional strength has little to do with whether a person cries often or not and more with whether the person is able to overcome the obstacles in their way and keep on living. That’s why Kougyoku is a strong female character to me. 

 Kougyoku can deliver a cool speech, outwit master manipulator (I mean Sinbad here) on a specific subject, free her nation from the IA  and still express herself in the way she always used to, via crying.  She doesn’t need to change the core of her character in order to become “badass”. She can be awesome and cry at the same time. I’m grateful that Ohtaka sensei allowed her to do that.

When I first starting coming to terms with being attracted to women, I finally built up enough courage to tell my therapist. She responded by saying that if I followed those desires I would “Never be the woman God wanted me to be.” She was right… because I’m now the man that I was always meant to be. 

I will never forget that day. Sometimes I am tempted to visit her and show her who I really am and how far I have come. I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I remember when I told her about my attraction to women her whole face lit up. Like I was her next biggest miracle project. She was so confident that she was going to fix me. I remember her saying “This is what the issue has been the whole time.. I was wondering why we couldn’t get passed anything.” She was happy that it wasn’t her therapy skills that were not letting me progress.. it was my deep dark secret that I was not filing her in on. Right away she tried to get me to read books on homosexuality, and wanted to accompany me to conversion groups. I gave her a maybe… and then never returned. She continued to text me. This is the last text that she sent me. She said that she hoped that I had not given up. Well, Susan. I did give up. I gave up living a lie. I gave up the shame, the guilt, and any fucks I had about what people thought about me.