why aliens don't talk to us

Overheard at Teitan Elementary [2]
  • Genta: Explain yourself, Conan!
  • Ayumi: Conan-kun!
  • Conan: Oi, what's wrong, lot?
  • Mitsuhiko: Wakasa-sensei asked us to find the photos of Teitan Elementary Alumnis!
  • Conan: ...and?
  • Genta: That's the pic of the Kudo Shinichi guy...
  • Ayumi: Who graduated 10 years ago...
  • Mitsuhiko: And he looks just like you, Conan-kun! How is this possible?
  • Conan: ...just a coincidence?
  • Genta: Don't play games with us!
  • Conan: O-okay, it's simple, guys! He's a grandchild of the uncle of the nephew of the daughter of my mother's grandfather's brother!
  • Haibara: Edogawa-kun's family is extremely complicated.
  • Conan: Shutup.
  • Mitsuhiko: Please, be serious, Conan-kun! We all know that you are...
  • (at once)
  • Ayumi: Urashima Taro!
  • Genta: An alien!
  • Mitsuhiko: A time traveler!
  • ...
  • Genta: What are you talking about, guys! He's surely an alien! I saw stuff like that on TV! He infiltrated us and borrowed that Kudo Shinichi's form!
  • Ayumi: Genta-kun, that's silly!
  • Mitsuhiko: Besides, why would he borrow Kudo Shinichi's child form?
  • Genta: Who knows those aliens...
  • Conan: Oi...
  • Ayumi: Conan-kun is Urashima Taro! He traveled on big mr. Turtle's back to the Sea Dragon Palace, and when he came back 10 years passed!
  • Mitsuhiko: But Urashima Taro is a hero of the legend...
  • Genta: Sea Dragon? Is it like eel?
  • Ayumi: Genta-kun!
  • Mitsuhiko: We know that there's a scientific explanation to this! Conan-kun is from the future and they invented a time travel! That's why he was in the photo 10 years ago and that's why he looks exactly the same. Am I right, Conan-kun?
  • Ayumi: But why would Conan-kun travel to the past? And what will happen to Ran-onee-san, if she will learn that her boyfriend is from the future?..
  • Genta: Maybe there's a war going on in future and he came here to prevent it? I saw it on TV with dad!
  • Mitsuhiko: Genta-kun...
  • Haibara: Then how about this explanation? His cellular structure was forcibly redone by a mysterious drug and he shrunk due to the ingenious invention of a biochemical teen prodigy who worked in a secret evil organization?
  • ...
  • Mitsuhiko: ...you watch too many science dramas, Haibara-san...
  • Ayumi: Yeah... that sounds even less possible than Genta-kun's Alien theory, Ai-chan...
  • Genta: That's funny, Haibara!
  • Conan: Oi-oi...
TMNT Girls Night
  • April, Shinigami, Renet, Karai and Mona are in a Salamadarian fighting arena.
  • April: When I suggested girls night, I was thinking slumber party with popcorn and a movie. (uses her tessen to knock over an alien gladiator). I gotta admit, this is tons more fun.
  • Shinigami: Just to let you know, only Renet actually wanted to do your boring activity. (She does a flip before knocking a weapon out of an enemy's hands). The rest of us wanted some more exictment.
  • Renet: As I recall, Mona and Karai were the ones who wanted to go to Space and partake in these gladiator fights. You wanted to go to my time and visit the Turtle museum. (She uses her timestaff to knock Shinigami's opponent out much to the witch's annoyance)
  • Shinigami(aggravated): For the last time, I wanted to visit your time to see what's changed. I am not the least bit curious about what happened to---
  • Karai(rolling her eyes): Can you two please do this later? (an alien sneaks up behind her, she backhands him before kicking him towards Mona Lisa who knocks him out).
  • Mona: (A bell rings) We have won round nine. (She studies her teammates) I hope none of you are tired right before our final victory. Because our opponents will be two Triceraton warriors.
  • Karai: You mean the dinosaurs who tried to send our planet into a Black Hole? (Mona nods). I think I speak for all of us when I say: Hell Yeah!
  • Mona(grinning): We are ready! (the stadium roars with applause). Get your weapons out. (She brandishes her laser sword as she speaks).
  • Karai pulls out her short samurai sword as Renet puts on her Energy Knucledusters. Shinigami swings her Moon Blades with a grin.
  • April(opening her tessen): Best girls night ever!
  • Meanwhile back on Earth, Raph, Leo, Mikey and Donnie are playing video games.
  • Donnie: I still don't get why they couldn't let us come to Mona's planet.
  • Raph: They probably didn't want us to crash their girls' night.
  • Donnie: They could have at least invited us to come along to see them battle.
  • Leo: Donnie, are you worried about them? Because I know they can take care of themselves.
  • Donnie: I know that. I just want to be able to cheer them on while they fight aliens.
  • Mikey: Dudes, if our girls fought each other who do you think would win? I'm talking one-one fights of course.
  • Raph: Mona would win them all without breaking a sweat. She is a lieutenant and a fierce warrior.
  • Leo: That may be true, Raph but Karai is a trained ninja who has the added bonus of turning into a snake. I think she'd be able to take down all four girls at once.
  • Donnie: Gentlemen, April has her psychic senses among other psychic abilities. Not even Karai would be able to get the drop on her. And considering how much better her ninja skills are, she's have a huge advantage and therefore would win.
  • Mikey(snorts): Wow, bros, you three are so whipped. (His brothers glared at him). Oh and fyi Shinigami can hyponotise anyone into standing still while she kicks their butt and Renet can go back in time with knowledge of every move of opponent. Therefore, it's only fair to say---
  • The four turtles descend into an argument over which of their girls was a better fighter.
The Signs Studying Together
  • Virgo: *hands out everyone's books and settles down* are we ready to start?
  • Sagittarius: *glaring at Leo* Leo is on their phone. *looks over their screen* dude are you watching porn?
  • Leo: What? No? *hurriedly puts away phone* Um *awkward coughing* So um, math?
  • Capricorn: *rubbing temples* Actually, this is history...
  • Libra: Shit! I brought my Spanish book... Guess I have to go home, oh well...
  • Taurus: *pulling Libra back by the arm* Oh no you don't, you don't even take Spanish.
  • Virgo: *slightly annoyed laughter* Ok guys, we're going to start now... PISCES. Stop sleeping.
  • Pisces: *drool hanging out of their mouth* Wha? Elvis...? *conks out again*
  • Aquarius: What happens when you die? I wonder if there are other worlds? What if there is an alternate universe where they fight dragons but watch TV about us...
  • Capricorn: Shut UP, Aquarius.
  • Aquarius: *shrugs*
  • Aries: Guys, I'm failing this class. So if you could PLEASE...
  • Gemini: No, I like what Aquarius is talking about... *scoots over to engage in conversation about aliens*
  • Virgo: Guys, be quiet!!
  • Everyone: *continues talking*
  • Virgo: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
  • Everyone: *silence*
  • Cancer: *lip trembles*
  • Pisces: Oh no, look what you did. Come on Cancer... Don't cry, it's ok.
  • Cancer: Actually. It's just really cold in here, can you close that window? Why does everyone always assume I'm going to cry?
  • Virgo: *throws book out the window* *walks out*
  • Everyone: *shrugs* *continues talking*
questions for the signs based on misleading posts i've seen on here
  • aries: have you ever even thrown a punch in your life? do u think you'll come back as a puppy in your next life?
  • taurus: how many blankets do you own? how many blunts do u hit in a day?
  • gemini: do ppl actually hate u or are they just participating in a cruel meme for the laffs? trick question ppl are just mean, do u wanna hang out sometime?
  • cancer: have you talked to the moon lately? do u know if she likes me?
  • leo: what are your fave makeup products? any recs?
  • virgo: do virgos actually fuck books? p.s. will u marry me?
  • libra: how many of y'all are gay? or models? or both?
  • scorpio: do you even relate to half the ridiculous posts abt us? i don't. anyway what's it like being so full of love?
  • sagittarius: why are you lying abt not having a heart? i've seen it
  • capricorn: between u and me, are you okay?
  • aquarius: do you really have connections with the aliens? if so, will u give them my number?
  • pisces: how do you tuck your angel wings under your shirt? are you tired of all these corny pastel edits?

anonymous asked:

Your post about Pearl is confusing. How can she be female-coded AND lesbian? Female-coded =/= female, by definition, they just have female visual traits, like how people say that Garnet is black-coded but not actually black. Sugar herself has said that the gems use female pronouns but don't have an actual definite gender. And I don't understand the "uncomfortable around men" part, she seems to have problems being around humans in general, with the exception of Connie and Greg. She's an alien.

1. Non-binary lesbians exist.

2. She is clearly uncomfortable or disgusted when Greg touches her and when Dewey talks to her.

3. She uses terms like mom, woman, girl, sister, etc but you only have an issue with her being called a lesbian?

4. Why do you hate lesbians so much that you won’t let us have this one character and are literally pulling the “she’s an alien she can’t be a lesbian!” card.