whos like 10 feet taller than me

anonymous asked:

its very hard for me to imagine how short andrew is? like i have a friend whos maybe 2 cm taller than neil and shes already so. short. and i imagine than andrew would be way bulkier than her but also 10 cm shorter??? how the proportions would even work?????

DSHJDHJ honestly it’d be comical to see it irl… just a very ripped 5′ feet tall dude, and next to matt or kevin they both would look like they’re from different species, like those girls from a college volleyball team and a cheerleader, one of them being the shortest, two of them being the tallest 

I love how timothée fans are all “yeah he’s a smol bean, a little angel, a baby twink”, when actually timmy isn’t smol at all, he’s over 6 fuckin feet tall and that is a fact that hit me like only just now, but it’s still fucking me up.

I suppose it’s The Magic of Standing Next to Armie Hammer, as in anyone who does that ends up looking about 10-15cm shorter than they actually are, probably because Armie is taller than what us mere mortals perceive human height to be capable of

The Awesome, Kickass, Absolutely Invincible Gentleman known as England (Or Britain)

Alright guys here’s the deal. My keyboard is being a little bitch, and not working a hundred percent. Some keys won’t work, and it’s driving me mad. They’re the keys that are in like every word! And it’s starting to happen to my delete key as well. After looking it up, its a hardware problem, and I just need to replace the keyboard. For now, I’m stuck on my phone until I get home and figure out a plan. But let us get started because I’m being waiting to do this rant for a long time. Also, I call him Britain and England, so heads up if you see me use one in one place, and the other in another.

Firstly, Britain is my spirit animal. I love that man. He’s not my favorite character, but he holds a special place in my heart. Maybe because we’re both British. Yeah that could be it. And secondly, I fucking love British history! There’s no way I can possibly fuck this rant up! And thirdly, I have a love hate relationship with him. I love his character, but I hate what the fandom does to him! So here’s a British girl who is so fucking sick and tired to clear up a few things about him shall well.

Now Britain’s history is not that complicated (in my opinion). Everyone knows that he and France have been fighting since the beginning of time, he can’t decide if he’s Protestant or catholic (which I’ll get to in a few), and he was the closet to world domination (Spain was a close second). The dude had colonies everywhere! Why do you think the saying ‘The sun never sets on the British empire’ existed. Because they were that fucking powerful. So let’s start with the things that piss me off.

1. Has an extreme hatred for McDonald’s and other American things; Guys, he loves McDonald’s. He doesn’t hate everything that’s American. Sure he may get annoyed every once in a while, but he doesn’t hate it.  

2. The abuse of the tsundere: A tsundere is someone who is initially cold and hostile before gradually showing his or her warm side. Himaruya has described England to be a tsundere. Meaning, he may come off as harsh, but he actually has a softer side. But for fucks sake guys, don’t over do the tsundere. Don’t make him fucking stutter while doing something nice, or have him say something ridiculous to show his tsundere. Show us he’s a tsundere. We get it! He’s harsh but has a softer side. Don’t shove it down our fucking throats. It’s the same with Romano! We get it! They had harsh lives which lead to their hostility and solitude, but they have their soft sides! Just show us with his actions!

3. Always casting a spell that goes horribly wrong (the plot for many chibi/genderbend/otherwise): Oh man did I had to bring this up. In almost every plot where there’s a chibi or genderbend character, it’s because England fucked up a spell. Why is this? I have no idea. England has never fucked up a spell. And if you’re going to bring up the time when he summoned Russia with his black magic, I swear I will beat you. Russia is without a doubt, the type of thing England was aiming for. Russia (jokingly) is as bad as a devil. He’s obviously angry that Russia did came out, but he didn’t fail. He just wanted someone else. With this being said, he is an amazing spell caster. I mean after all this time, you think he would fuck up a spell now?! Moving on.

4. Exaggerates his inability to cook for a quick laugh: So it’s canon that his cooking is not on the level or France’s, or the Italies, but that doesn’t mean he’s horrendous at it. The only person who has tried his food was Prussia….who passed out afterwards, but that’s it. It’s like Finland’s food really. British food is really an acquired taste, meaning not everyone will like it. Just because Prussia passed out from it, doesn’t mean it’s poisonous. He just couldn’t stomach it. And because of that, anyone who tried British food gets food poisoning and is sent to the hospital. No. That’s rude. I tasted British food, and it’s actually pretty good. And hello! Gordon fucking Ramsey! It promotes this bad stereotype that British people can’t cook which isn’t true. Also my omelets are the fucking bomb so there.

5. Overuse of every fucking British term in existence: I admit I had done this before I fully got a grasp of what I was doing. This is like the ‘fusososo’ for Spain, ‘Awesome’ for Prussia. It’s canon, but gets overdone a lot. He’s more than a few catchphrases and few terms. Give him some fucking credit! He has a personality to make him unique! Use it!

6. Exaggerates his eyebrows for a quick laugh: This also had to be on the list. Yes his eyebrows are bushy. We get it. Not every fucking joke has to be about his eyebrows. So can we lighten up the eyebrow jokes? One or two in a fanfic or such is fine. But if you have more than five about his eyebrows, that just drive me nuts.

7. *Trigger Warning* Rapes Spain during the (1st) Anglo-Spanish War: Now allow me to explain what the Anglo-Saxon War is. It’s an conflict between England and Spain that took place from 1585-1604. There were a lot of reasons why the war took place. One was because Philip II, who was originally Queen Mary’s husband, wanted to marry Elizabeth I (my girl) after her sister died. Of course homegirl didn’t want to get married, and held her ground. Also it was because Phillip was all for the Catholic Church, and Elizabeth was Protestant, there was a lot of religious tension. And it didn’t help that the British was hiring privateers to attack Spanish ships under Elizabeth’s command. Long story short, Spain surrendered, leading to the Treaty of London. So because they won the war, that gives England the right to rape Spain and do whatever the fuck he likes with him right? HELL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING NO! Just because he won the war doesn’t mean rape should happen. You can literally have them fight, and then have Spain surrender. It’s literally not that hard. I mean if Hima can do it without rape, then what in the hell is stopping you?! So what I’m trying to say is: RAPE SHOULD NEVER BE USED AS A JUSTIFICATION! Got it memorized?

8. Exaggerates his drunken state: So it’s canon Britain can’t hold his liquor. But some people have literally no idea how to write a drunk person, and he’s no exception. When he is drunk, he becomes very loud and nostalgic. That’s it. He doesn’t get into bar fights, or try to force himself on people. So why do people write him as this crazy drunk who fights people and want to make out with whoever is taking him home (who is France or America). If you’re going to write a drunk character, know how to write a fucking drunk character! Not everyone is the same when they’re drunk. They are literally many types of drinks, so don’t generalize them as such! Do your fucking research!

Now here’s my favorite part of my rants, the shipping pet peeves. By now, you guys should know that USUK isn’t my cup of tea, and FrUK is one of my otps, but I got problems with both pairings, and others. This will not be pointing out USUK peeves, but others as well. So let’s get this show on the road!

9. Exaggerates height different between America or France: Now this is a problem I see in both pairings. For some reason, they make France and America really tall in comparison to Britain. Most likely to show that he’s the ‘uke’ (Man I fucking hate that term) of the relationship (and trust me. I’ll get onto that later). For all you fuckers making him so short, allow me to inform you guys something important. England and France are the same height at 5’9. America is .6 inches taller. A FUCKING DECIMAL TALLER. NOT EVEN A FUCKING FOOT! So why the fuck are they making them like five feet taller than him?! Do not change a character’s height so he can bottom! I mean come the fuck on. Do some research before you assume something! Which brings me to my next point.

10. Always the ‘uke’ in relationships: Have I said I hated this term? No? Well I fucking do. So what is an uke? Well, an uke is the guy in the relationship who is the softer, shorter, younger, more feminine, weaker guy in a yaoi relationship who always bottoms. You see what my problem with Britain being the uke? First off, he’s not that fucking short. We established that in number eight. Secondly, he’s waaaay older than America and France. Thirdly, he is damn sure not weaker or more feminine. So what if he does embroidery? It’s not the end of the world if a man likes to embroider! It doesn’t make him any less masculine than any other country, especially not America or France. I mean he was the British Fucking Empire! He shouldn’t be the weak one or ‘uke’ in the relationship! And they do this Finland, Italy, China, and so on. I understand if you prefer him on bottom. I got nothing against preferences. But if you’re going to make him bottom on something trivial like a .6 inch height difference (that’s barely noticeable), or that he likes embroidery, I have nothing to say to you.

Also if you say ‘You can’t spell Uke with UK’, I will hunt you down and fucking murder you. I swear nothing gets me more angry than hearing or seeing someone say or write that. No shit Sherlock. There’s no I in team either. Your point?

11. Raping Spain to show their toxic relationship: This could also work for France and America, but it’s usually Spain that ends up with this treatment. I basically explained about this earlier on number seven but I’ll summarize. Rape shouldn’t be use to justify anything. Not history, not their relationship, nothing.

12. Gets raped by France repeatedly so America can save him (Reverse: Gets physically abused by America so France can save him): Now this is no surprise. Two popular pairings with one character in common tends to do it. Like the ‘Flying Pangle’, FrUKUS is filled with those who believe England should be with France or America, and will bash the other pairing because they make up one half of their OTP. Me? I don’t care if you pair Sealand with Shinatty Chan (note to self: Look up SealandxShinatty Chan fanfiction). As long as your a good story with a good plot, characterizations, and conflict, I’m good. Now I’ve seen fanfics where America/France is the bad guy, England is the damsel, and France/America is their hero going to save the day. Frankly, it’s stupid to me. If you don’t like the pairing, don’t fucking ship it. Move on with your business and keep doing what you’re doing. Like I always say:

YOU DON’T HAVE TO REDUCE A CHARACTER’S PERSONALITY TO MAKE YOUR FUCKING SHIPPING HAPPEN!

And I mean that! Don’t attack the character for a shipping you don’t like! Don’t make said character into a ruthless, heartless asshole so England and America/France live happily ever after. Do not do it. And frankly, England don’t need no damn help! He can get out of his own messes! He’s made this far hasn’t he?!

13. Calling France ‘frog’ every fucking sentence: Is this even canon? Anyways, France does not need to be called ‘frog’ in every fucking sentence. We get it! He loves him but he’s still harsh to him! Let it fucking go! And speaking of France, the two have a rivalry against one another that lasted for ages. It’s still there, but not as strong as before. They don’t necessarily hate each other, so please stop saying they really hate each other when we see them actually getting along more than once.

And here is my absolute favorite peeve. This one takes the cake in my opinion. It works for both FrUK and USUK, but mostly for the latter. And I’m bracing myself for the hate, so let’s do it.

14. Exaggerates his heartbreak and grief over the American Revolution: So the American Revolution was about how America was sick and tired of England’s shitty treatment to him, so he declared war. We all knows what happens. America won, and England lost. Now Hima made a powerful scene with the moment, which I enjoyed. To no one’s surprise, England was heartbroken, and it started a trend where everyone left him. The memory makes him upset, and his condition collapses on July 4th. That is canon, which is understandable because he broke his promise to America. He was supposed to be this big brother that America was supposed to look up to, and he failed. America wanted to get away from him. He wanted to be America than England’s little brother.

But instead of seeing him like the way Hima intended him to be on such a touchy subject, we see a different side of him. He’s either still depressed over it despite 200 years passing by, or England is still extremely butthurt to the point where he’s sobbing like some blubbering fool and it suddenly turns I to sex with no explanation whatsoever. It’s literally ‘America I miss you so much let’s have sex.’ Wait what? You can ship it all you like, but please don’t the use revolutionary war as fuel for America and Britain to have buttsex out of fucking nowhere. The war is not romantic. War is never romantic. This is the same thing that RusAme shippers tend to do with the Cold War. My point is this: Do not use something as serious as war, or tragedy to get your characters to fuck. There are plenty of way to get them fucking without offending anyone. Okay?

To sum it up, Britain is awesome, and does not deserve such mistreatment from the the fandom. Sorry. I’ve been working on this for three hours since three in the morning, and it’s now six. So, in the words of my people:

DON’T FUCKING DO IT  YOU BLOODY MOTHERFUCKING WANKERS! 

Thank you and have a wonderful day/night.

Things DC does that annoy me, an on-going list

When Jason Todd was Robin a lot of artists drew him just the way they drew Dick as Robin, but when an artist really tried to make Jason look different they generally drew him as very small. When he died he was listed as 4 foot 6 inches and 87 pounds, at age 15 going on 16, Jason was TINY, the average height of a 10 year old boy today in America is 4 foot 10 inches (meaning its likely Damian is taller than Jason was when he died) but today adult (um 19 year old?) Jason is drawn as tall, 6 feet tall in fact, and also big, with wider shoulders and more muscle tone than any one else…. WTF DC? are you telling me that a boy who spent a year in a coma taking in food by IV and getting no exercise or seeing the sun, then spent a year on the street eating out of trash can, or at soup kitchens or whatever he could get off the dollar menu from fast food places with his begged days worth of pocket money, sleeping a few hours at a time on the cold streets, grew a foot and a half? um no thats not how that works, Jason Todd would be tiny stop lying.