- everyone answering “no, i’m fred” to “are you [insert Y/N]” even hermione
- everything draco does ever
- calling blast ended skrewts “power bottoms”
- calling newt scamander bad variations of his name like nerd sandwicher etc
- colin creevey using that one picture he managed to get of hermione punching draco as a reaction image
- shouting “spank me daddy” at the whomping willow
- [pointing at random object] that’s a portkey
- every single cat is professor mcgonagall
I think Snape didn’t go in blind when he went down Willow as a teenager. It was heavily hinted that he worked out that Lupin was a Werwolf long before the event by Lily’s annoyance at him bring up ‘his theory again’ and his love for the dark arts, his desire to get back at the Marauders, his Death Eater tendencies, he maybe over estimated the absolute stupidity of Sirius and his own abilities, thought he win against a werwolf. James saved Snape and maybe Lupin from a growing Death Eater fanatic.
All we have per descriptions of this cat is that 1. It was enough of a Potter to make the list when they went into hiding and 2. Harry scared it with his new broom he got from Sirius.
There is further no mention of said cat.
On the other hand, don’t we know another, really old, beaten down, ugly, sad, sad cat?
A cat that befriended Sirius Black and seemed to KNOW Peter Pettigrew’s smell, hold a grudge against him, even?
Part-kneazle, so it has a remarkable ability for finding home or things that it has a connection to, like, say, a family member.
A cat that knows it’s way around Hogwarts, around the Whomping Willow, almost like it had been there before with another owner.
A cat that absolutely REFUSED to let Hermione leave that shop without him after seeing a certain rat, was CRAZED, almost.
We have no mention of this cat/kneazle’s age, except that it had been in the shop for a while and no one had wanted it. Magical creatures live a long time. Cats live a long time. It’s within reason that this cat could be 30, even 40 years old.
Imagine if Jily were alive during Harry’s second year
Harry and Ron: *crash the Weasley’s car into the Whomping Willow*
THE NEXT DAY
Ron: *gets a howler*
RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER’S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK AND IT’S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE’LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME! — Oh, and Ginny dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud.
*awkward headshake by Ginny*
Harry: *gets a howler*
*Lily’s stern and angry voice* HARRY JAMES POTTER! HOW DARE YOU PULL SUCH AN IDIOTIC STUNT! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN- *cut off by James’ even more louder, albeit excited as fuck voice* A FLYING CAR! YOU RODE A BLOODY FLYING CAR! I AM SO GONNA TALK WITH YOU ABOUT THIS! I AM SO HAPPY- HECK I AM SO BLOODY PROUD! A FLYING CAR! HOW’S- *cut off by an even more excited Sirius’ voice* MERLIN’S SAGGY PANTS! YOU ARE JUST THE PERFECT MARAUDER OFFSPRING AREN’T YA?! I AM PROUD TO BE YOUR GODFATHER! JUST YOU COME HOME! I’LL TEACH YOU- *cut off by Moony’s frustrated voice* Padfoot! Prongs! NO!
* occasional clapping and sounds of party poppers bursting in the background, obviously done by Wormtail*
Ron during the Feast: How come do you not get scolded! ;_;
Harry (smirking): It’s a Marauder thing.
McGonagall (who obviously hears that comment while passing the timetable): Trust me, Mr. Weasley. It’s truly a Marauder thing.
Sirius gets his first tattoo when he’s 15. His friends think he’s a little young, but Sirius believes it’s the right time. He gets a small black pawprint on his chest, a place his parents wouldn’t typically see. A few months later, he gets a small lion on his ankle, then simplified wolf, deer and rat tattoos on the inside of his left forearm. A few days after him and Moony start dating (because he’s been in love with him for years, anyway), he gets a moon tattoo on his hip, and it changes depending on the actual phase of the moon at the time. In seventh year, he loses a bet to James, and Prongs makes him get a tattoo of a magic wand pointing at his ass on a butt cheek. Sirius hates this tattoo, but Remus finds it hilarious. He also has many runes tattooed across his body, some near his collarbones, on his wrist or behind his ear. When he gets out of school, he gets a whole sleeve done, depicting the Whomping Willow and a castle: Hogwarts, his real home.
After Peter’s betrayal, Sirius scars out the rat on his forearm until it’s disfigured and bleeding.
In Azkaban, he carves a heart next to the deer and the wolf, and every day, he checks the moon on his hip, praying for Remus’ safety, wishing to tell him how much he still loves him. He also looks at the lion on his ankle, reminding himself of who he is and where he belongs.
The tattoos are part of him.
•Jared gets placed in Ravenclaw mainly because of his computer skills and because it’s also a house that holds people who are, well, unique
•Alana is in Slytherin for her determination and ambition, despite wanting to be in Ravenclaw because she’s convinced all the smart people HAVE to be there
•Zoe, tough and independent Zoe Murphy, gets put in Hufflepuff and while everyone else is floored she isn’t the least bit surprised
•Connor gets put in Ravenclaw because again it’s a house that welcomes people who are considered weird or out of the ordinary and we all know Connor has been considered a “freak” by so many people after the second grade printer incident
•And Evan Hansen—the anxious, reserved Evan Hansen—goes to Gryffindor. And everyone goes INSANE. You can even hear Jared from the front of the Ravenclaw table yell “wHAT THE FUCK?” before promptly getting whacked on the head by Connor.
•Alana is absolutely terrified of all the other Slytherins at first because of all the stories she’s heard about Slytherin being a bad house and stuff like that and because of that has trouble settling in
•But then one Slytherin girl befriends her and she realizes that Slytherin isn’t too bad of a house and she starts getting more comfortable with everyone
•Connor and Jared are absolutely pissed to be in the same house and they can’t stand each other and constantly annoy the other Ravenclaws by their bickering
•Jared is a muggleborn
•Alana and the Murphy siblings are pureblood
•Evan is a halfblood
•Evan finds out that the reason why his dad left him and Heidi when he was younger was because it wasn’t safe for a wizard like him to be out in the muggle world anymore and he had to leave Evan with Heidi because it was safer for him to be away from them
•And he has incredible trouble coping with this and actually takes it against his dad for some time before coming to terms with it
•Zoe is surprisingly taken as a beater for Quidditch
•And he would never admit it but Connor comes to watch every game Zoe’s in
•Connor also watches Zoe’s every single move in Quidditch and will literally murder anyone who even just almost hurts her
•Meanwhile Jared’s a Keeper, and he especially likes Quidditch because “the Quaffle looks like a huge bathbomb, what can be more awesome than that?”
•Alana keeps track of the scores and announces what’s going on and actually got paid once by Connor to focus ONLY on Zoe and what’s happening to her during a Hufflepuff vs. Gryffindor match
•Connor was seriously also ready to beat Jared up after he accidentally injured Zoe
•"Connor, it’s just a bruise!!“
“ITS HIS FAULT I’LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM ZOE HE BETTER APOLOGIZE TO YOU OR THAT MOTHERFUCKER WILL HEAR FROM ME”
•During classes, Evan absolutely loves Herbology and is quite obviously the teacher’s favorite as he knows all about any type of magical plant
•Because of this he’s barely afraid of the whomping willow as well
•Which, of course, amazes everyone because the whomping willow is basically like a tree from the depths of hell
•Connor also does incredibly well at Defense Against the Dark Arts and just blows everyone away after acing practically every homework, test, lesson and essay there is to the class
•Alana is a huge Potions nerd, and she loves measuring and computing for all the ingredients needed to make a certain concoction and she always stays up late in the Slytherin common room with that one good friend she has trying to figure out how to do a certain tricky potion
•Jared, meanwhile, amazes everyone at Transfiguration. He even somehow learned how to turn into a mouse within his first year
•However he wasn’t very lucky when Connor transformed into a cat and started chasing him in rat form
•He got injured with claw marks all over his body in human form and had to go to Evan to get some healing herbs applied to his wounds
•"That hurts, Evan.“
“Sorry, just bear with it for a little longer please.”
“It burns like the fires of hell.”
“How do you know what the fires of hell feel like?”
“Hansen, I’m the insanely cool Jared Kleinman. I’ve been through hell and back and still managed to look dashing and I still maintain my awesomeness.”
(More hogwarts au headcanons coming soon, maybe even for other musicals. Submit some to me if you have your own. Also feel free to leave an ask recommending which musical I should make hogwarts aus out of. I’m cool with anything as long as I’m into it)
“You were seen,” he hissed, showing them the headline: FLYING FORD ANGLIA MYSTIFIES MUGGLES. He began to read aloud: “Two Muggles in London, convinced they saw an old car flying over the Post Office tower … at noon in Norfolk, Mrs. Hetty Bayliss, while hanging out her washing … Mr. Angus Fleet, of Peebles, reported to police … Six or seven Muggles in all. I believe your father works in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office?” he said, looking up at Ron and smiling still more nastily. “Dear, dear … his own son …”