whole turkey

organiccoke  asked:

why do you have a vendetta against him? he's not too bad. i liked him

You’re totally entitled to your own opinion. However, since you asked, I know Ross to be the worse human being since the creation of time because that phrase applies to people who:

are terrible friends: possibly my most hated Ross moment happens in 4.02 when Phoebe finds a cat that she believes is her mother reincarnated and Ross is a totally asshole about it. Believe what you want, but when your friend is clearly grieving over the loss of her mother, perhaps give being supportive instead of a condescending fuckboy a try. Or after the infamous Ross and Rachel we were on a break thing, he guilt trips the other friends for hanging out with Rachel. Breakups are shitty, but why he would drag their MUTUAL friends into the middle of it always baffled me

are judgmental: literally it never ends. It hasn’t been a Friends episode if Ross doesn’t make a condescending comment to at least someone. I dare you to find one. It can’t be done

make everything about themselves: it doesn’t matter what your issue is. It’s happened to Ross and it’s been worse. He is so egotistical it is almost impressive

are possessive/jealous: Mark, Pablo, any male that looks that any woman. In 2.16 Rachel feels the need to hide her plans to get a tattoo from Ross because he wouldn’t like it. Why Ross feels like he has the right to make any decisions about RACHEL’S body is beyond me. In 3.05 he makes a LAMINATED list of celebrities he would have sex with (they should be so lucky). Plus in 2.08 he writes the world’s grossest pro/con list about Julie and Rachel (HUMAN BEINGS) as if he was deciding what car to buy, not which woman to grace with his presence

are horrific boyfriends: well since you brought up Ross and Rachel, that relationship is the most toxic thing I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. The way Ross treats/yells at Rachel when she is getting ready for his gala in 3.02 gives me heart palpations. In 3.15 Ross is so grossly un-supportive of Rachel’s job at Bloomingdale’s, it’s laughable. She tells him that it “is the first time in [her] life [she’s] doing something [she] actually care[s] about.” His response? He is “tired of having a relationship with [her] answering machine.” Ahh, nothing like making your girlfriend feel guilty for being successful. And then, when Rachel stands up to him (you go gurl!) Ross has the gall to accuse her of cheating on him with Mark. Which, somewhat hypocritically, actually brings me to my next point…

are cheaters: Phoebe’s friend (the bald girl), Julie, and basically Emily all get cheated on by Ross (maybe even Rachel, but they were on a break so I’ll give Ross the benefit of the doubt on that one)

are sexist: in 9.06, Ross gets angry at Rachel when she hires a male nanny. He uses the phrase, “That’s like a woman being a…”. BEING WHAT ROSS. PLEASE FINISH THAT THOUGHT. In 3.04 Ross loses his mind when Ben opts to play with dolls (a girl toy) and basically forces his young son to confirm to gender norms with the G.I. Joe. Also, episode 3.01 The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy exists

are homophobic: Ross literally never once misses the opportunity to remind anyone listening that his ex-wife left him FOR A WOMAN. The fact he doesn’t see himself as having anything to do with why Carol left him speaks to how flawed of a character he is (never mind that she makes it super clear it wasn’t about her sexuality alone). On top of that he constantly belittles the importance of Susan’s and Carol’s relationship. In 1.02 when he, Carol, and Susan, are at the doctor for the sonogram, he literally tells Susan it’s “not her baby,” and that she “can’t be the mother of the child.” In the same episode he plays the “sperm card” implying he’s (or at least he thinks he is) more valuable in this situation.

Honestly, he acts like Carol’s acts lesbianism was something she choose to do to spite him

are shitty parents: he brings up Ben to win an argument or to avoid helping his friends move, like in 6.06. He basically uses his son solely a prop to suit his own needs. Which is actually for the best because when he does see his son, he spends his time explaining the whole we were on a break thing to the poor kid. And oh yeah, he does this to his daughter as well (way to shit talk your daughter’s mother Ross….)

are terrible siblings: Monica essentially grew up being verbally abused by her mother and I think it’s so tragic that her own brother continues this pattern of abuse into her adulthood. Ross constantly tries to undermine Monica successes, and never misses an opportunity to define her by her current or previous weight. Friends is pretty problematic with the ongoing “Monica used to be fat!” jokes anyways (but I mean it was the 90s and nothing is perfect), but Ross is by far the worst of them. He jokes about how she never had a boyfriend because FAT and how she threatened to sit on him (never mind that skinny Monica could still totally whoop Ross’ terrible ass). Any time he feels like he is losing an argument, he immediately brings up her weight. Aside from all of this, he is grossly unsupportive when Monica and Chandler start dating (which is why they try to hide it from him for so long I am sure)

In addition to all of this:

  2. He doesn’t annul his and Rachel’s wedding AND LIES ABOUT IT
  4. He didn’t read the letter
  5. WE WERE ON A BREAK (if Ross thought he and Rachel were on a break and he did nothing wrong, why did he hide the girl from the copy place behind the door? Urgh, brb rage spiraling)
  6. He kept track of how many times he and Rachel had sex
  7. He is whiney
  8. He constantly belittles the accomplishments of others
  9. He has anger management issues
  10. He suffers from the Nice Guy Syndrome (NGS); fun fact, Friends coined the term the friendzone, this is no coincidence
  11. The whole turkey sandwich thing
  12. When he got caught getting high in highschool, he throws his oldest friend under the bus
  13. Unagi
  14. He dates a student
  15. He’s never been in a relationship where he hasn’t lied
  16. The “We Hate Rachel Club” and the rumor that he and Will started in high school

This list is by no means comprehensive or exhaustive. I think Ross is an extremely troubled human being. Granted, I do think a lot of his trust and self-esteem issues stem from his failed relationship with Carol. A lot of Ross’ personality deficits come from his own fear of his own crushing inadequacy. However, that doesn’t give him carte blanche to be shitty guy.

A List of Things Keith Has Pulled Out of His Fanny Packs

- knives

- a nail file set, complete with clippers and cuticle remover

- one of those crème brulé torches (Hunk was delighted; Shiro was horrified)

- six (6) pairs of completely different sunglasses

- a dozen fruit roll ups

- various keys on a key chain that he has found since leaving the Garrison. He has no idea what any of them go to. There’s like fifty

- seventeen (17) bandanas. all of them are the exact same. except one. it has owls on it

- eight (8) different fidget toys. pidge and lance steal half of them

- a whole turkey sandwich

- more knives

- a keychain of a flying saucer that lights up and plays eerie music. allura was not amused

- a deflated beach ball

- extra fingerless gloves

- bandages. a lot of bandages

- compact mirror. Lance makes fun of him for it. It saves their asses one day.

- a mix tape of FoB and P!atD songs. There’s one Beyonce song thrown in somewhere.

- several things of eyeliner. empty. Keith doesn’t wear eyeliner.

- a single pair of fuzzy socks

- Iverson’s security ID badge

USWNT and Thanksgiving

Tobin: ends up sitting at the kids table, has been banned from contributing to the meal after her sweet potato casserole almost killed everyone last year, falls asleep in the pile of coats five minutes after dinner is over, gets super religious during the “say what you’re thankful for” portion of the meal and makes everyone slightly uncomfortable

Christen: makes a seating chart and place cards that are ignored by everyone, becomes best friends with the dog, brings her own tupperware, somehow still looks gorgeous in an ugly turkey sweater

Allie: tries to convince everyone to just get it catered every year, leaves five minutes after dessert to wait outside the mall until black friday starts

Kelley: is in charge of bringing the alcohol, coaches the kids in the family flag football game, challenges the entire fam to a push-up contest despite being too drunk to even get off the couch

Sonnett: super cool cousin who shows up for the first time in three years with a bottle of henny and stories about australia, teaches grandma how to dab

Becky: the only one trusted enough to make the turkey, eats standing up in the kitchen because she forgot to save a seat for herself

Alex: insists on making a tofurkey but eats a whole plate of turkey after her second bottle of wine, has been banned from attending the macy’s thanksgiving day parade due to an incident referred to only as “swat team”

Mal: makes an announcement during dinner and everyone thinks she’s coming out, is really just announcing she’s dropping out of college to go backpacking through Europe, is super excited about sitting at the adult table for the first time, doesn’t know what rhubarb is

Horan: isn’t allowed to participate in the flag football game after tackling a child, is thankful for messi

Pinoe: brings a girl who no one knew she was dating and introduces her as her fiancée, starts an argument about gender neutral bathrooms with homophobic aunt hinkle, won’t stop talking about the slaughter of native americans by the white devil

Carli: refers to eating three full plates as a hat trick, makes really good spinach dip

Ali and Ashlyn: show up half way through dinner dressed like the second coming of kim and kanye, leave before dessert because they over booked the day and have three more houses they need to visit, bring gifts for the kids like it’s christmas

Mewis: has to eat an entire plate of brussel sprouts if the patriots lose


Making a delicious, spicy turkey chilli for The Lovely Husband.

I added extra butterbeans and lots of colourful bell peppers to make it go further and further enhance the meal’s nutritional value.

A short one-shot inspired by Hiro Mashima’s art.

Summary: Sorcerer Weekly wants to do a spread over the wizards at Fairy Tail. Lucy’s looking forward to the simple photo shoot, but with Fairy Tail, is anything simple? (Canon verse)

Pairing: Natsu x Lucy

Genre: Humor, Friendship, slight Romance

Word Count: 2,133

A picture’s worth a thousand words

Lucy couldn’t help but scoff when she came out of her bathroom, seeing the fire dragon slayer sprawled out on her bed. “Are you really wearing that?”

Snapping out of his daze, Natsu glanced at his outfit, smiling when he turned back to his partner. “Of course! Don'tcha think it looks nice?”

Shaking her head, Lucy ignored the question. Today Fairy Tail was doing a photo shoot for Sorcerer Weekly, and everyone was asked to dress up for the occasion. Lucy sported a little black dress that hugged her curves comfortably and matching black boots while Natsu… Well, he went in a different direction.

Dark green pants tucked into black rain boots, his blue shirt matching nothing while his scaly white scarf hung loosely around his neck. Add that to his pink hair and Natsu equaled a fashion disaster.

Still, she had to admit it looked exactly like what someone would expect him to wear. He was always pushing the boundaries with his outfits. She had a feeling he was competing with Gray and his wild fashion sense, but she dismissed the thought in favor of fixing her hair.

Natsu raided her kitchen while she pulled her long blonde hair into two pig tails with black bows. She left a lock of hair free on both sides of her face to frame it. Smiling, she thought she did pretty well considering she didn’t ask Cancer for any help.

“How do I look?” Lucy asked when she walked into the kitchen, paling when she saw Natsu shoving a whole turkey leg into his mouth, bones and all.

“Hmfph?” he asked, green eyes flitting until they landed on the form of the celestial wizard. Choking, Natsu pounded his fist against his chest until his airway was clear. “Damn! Why are you dressed like that?”

Under his intense gaze, she blushed. “Master told us to look our best… Why? Do you think it’s too much?”

Realizing she misunderstood, Natsu shook his head. “It’s not that, it’s just…” He didn’t know how to say every guy -and probably a few girls- wouldn’t be able to keep their eyes off her. He always knew his partner was beautiful, but today she looked drop dead gorgeous.

He had half a mind to kidnap her and keep her all to himself instead of going to that photo shoot, but he knew Lucy was looking forward to it. Why? He didn’t know. Sorcerer Weekly always printed articles about him, but he never felt flattered or thankful.

Of course his articles covered a lot of the damage he did to cities while on missions, but that was another story.

Keep reading

What exactly do bee smokers do?

It is very common to see beekeepers using smokers while caring for their hives, however, I’d come to notice that I didn’t know why beekeepers used smoke. 

Well, upon doing some research, here’s what I found out:

- Bees assume that there is a fire nearby, this makes them begin eating their honey as fast as possible to save it for a new hive. By doing this, they tire themselves out (much like us humans do after we eat a whole turkey dinner). 

-The smoke also masks pheromones. Bees rely on this to communicate to each other through the hive. When bees think their hive is under attack they warn the others. This smoke keeps them from doing that and confuses them. 

This allows the bees to calm down and the beekeeper to work!

Monsta X reaction to their s/o being a very busy university student

requested by anon~

a/n: i hope you guys enjoy reading this! credits to the owners for these gifs :)


Originally posted by hyungnu

Shownu; Being busy with university never really bothered Shownu though. Once you give him notice that you’ll be busy for a couple of weeks, this appa would totally be supporting you all throughout. He’d actually tell you to take some break or if ever you had any problem you can call him and ask him. Despite not being able to spend time with each other, Shownu would ask you for your schedule and would actually make time for you whenever you’re taking a break. He would also constantly send messages that would literally cheer you on and he would also call you from time to time, asking how you are or have you eaten or just take a break for awhile. Or he’d also be all ears when you have a rant or if you badly need him, he’d be there right away to make you relaxed and stress free.

  • appa nu (8:32 pm): Hey, [y/n]! I hope you’re doing well. Don’t forget to take a break, okay? I know you can do this and don’t forget to eat alright? I’ll call you in a bit. I love you and I miss you so so much! 
  • appa nu (9:15 pm): Baby, I bought some ice creams and some of your favorite dishes. Do you want me to go there and feed you? Don’t get too stressed okay?

Babe, how’s studying?”

“I haven’t been able to sleep for 2 straight days oppa and here I am, drinking my 6th coffee and I’ve never been so dead in my entire life.”

“You should take a break, babe. I’ll be there in a few and once I get there, you better be ready to take a break, understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Alright. See you soon, I love you and you can do it! Fighting!”

“I love you too!”

Originally posted by hyu-k

Wonho; By the minute Wonho knew that you’ll be busy starting today, he’d be sad. A sulky and pouty Wonho would actually appear. But then he would try to understand that you’re pursuing your dreams and all and that he needs to support you….. another but, he’d be super duper lonely. He would snap you tons of selfies and other stuff that he’s been doing with the boys. And he’d also call you from time to time, reminding you how much he loves you and how much he misses you and how much he’s there to support you with all his heart and soul (lol) and if ever you’re feeling lonely, he’s always available for you.

Hyung, what are you doing?”

“I’m waiting for the message?”

“What message?”

“Her reply.”

  • fluffybunny (6:05 pm): hey, baby! I know you’re busy studying and other school-related stuff but I just wanted to say that I miss you so so much and I love you so so much! Fighting! Don’t ever give up, okay? I’ll always be here for you no matter what. I’ll facetime you once you’re free, alright? Lovelots :* xoxo

What did she say hyung?”


  • mybaby (6:08 pm): Aww, I love you and I miss you so so much babe! Don’t worry, I’ll be done after an hour or so. I won’t give up, I promise. Thank you babe! *insert smiley face*

Originally posted by kihqun

Kihyun; Kihyun would actually be clingy to be honest. You weren’t able to message him that often since you’d be at the library, making your thesis paper with your partner or something. But then once you’ll go to their dorm and take a break for a while, he’d be extremely clingy. Back hugging you and all and would even tell you that you’ve become a lot prettier despite looking like a zombie. And when you’re at home while burying yourself in a pile of schoolworks, he’d actually barge in and start cooking some dinner for you since he’s scared that you might starve yourself to death. But then, when you’re away from each other, he’d also send you some texts of encouragement and all.

Okay…. the axial parts are the head, neck and body while the appendicular skeleton consists of–”

“Babe, I’m home! Do you want some kimchi jiggae?”

“Yes, please.”

“Alright, just wait for a couple minutes okay? *gives you a kiss on the cheeks*”

  • cutiehyunnie (11:24 am): Baby, don’t forget to eat okay? I prepared some bento box for you and I placed it inside your bag. Don’t stress yourself out okay? I know that you’re the brightest woman that I’ve ever known and I know that you can ace them all! I love you and just text me when you’re done okay? You don’t need to reply. 
  • cutiehyunnie (4:46 pm): Yah! How come your room is so dirty? Aigoo, now I have to clean all of this. I’ll let you pass this time since you’re busy with university. Come home early, okay?

Originally posted by jeonfhan

Minhyuk; This boy would not leave you alone. He’d be at your place whenever you’re home. He’d be playing by himself while you’re busy studying in your room. But then you wouldn’t be able to concentrate since he’ll be bugging you like if you wanted to eat Chinese food or something. However, when you’re at school and you’re busy running the student government, he’d literally send you tons of pictures of him and messages and video messages and voice messages, everything that can send his message! And when you don’t reply, he’d still continue to send you messages. And you’ll actually have 100+ messages coming from him.

Babe, what do you want to eat?”

“Not now, Minhyuk.”


“Hey babe–”

“Minhyuk. Not. Now.”

“Okay okay…”


“Okay fine I want jjajangmyeon and tangsuyuk. Now shut up and let me review all these paperworks.”

  • minmoongie (2:30 pm): BABE I MISS U SO SO MUCH
  • minmoongie (2:33 pm): Babe, guess what? I just went out to buy some toothbrush and I saw some totoro onesie that you’ve wanted
  • minmoongie (2:33 pm): So I bought them for you as a reward for your hard work!
  • minmoongie (2:35 pm): Babe babe, have you eaten already? What do you want for dinner? I can order some chicken and send it to you? Babe, pls reply

Originally posted by bangtan-monsta

Hyungwon; He’d be sad. A sad pepe is a sad pepe. He would totally understand but he’d feel really lonely. So lonely. That a lonely pepe would be born. He wouldn’t be that clingy tho. He’d send you messages from time to time but then there would be times that he’d forget since he would probably fall asleep before sending the message. But then, when he’s able to send you a message, it’d be really flowery. Lol, it’d be a speech. And when he’s at your place, he’d wrap his arms around your waist and rest his chin on your shoulder while you continue doing your paperworks. 

  • pepe (8:46 am): Hey, I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to reply to you last night since… I fell asleep hehe. Anyways, I hope that my princess was able to eat breakfast today. Don’t forget to shower okay? I want you to fresh and ready to face the world. And don’t forget anything so that you won’t be stressed out later and rush back home to get it, okay? I also hope that you’ll be able to eat your lunch and dinner later. Don’t forget to rest since I don’t want the love of my life to be tired just like me. Anyways, I love you very much and I can’t wait to see you this week! I hope you’ll still be as sexy and beautiful and wonderful like the last time! :*

Mmm, you’re studying mandarin? *insert hyungwon’s sleepy voice*”

“Yes, babe.”

“Do you want me to help you?”

“No thanks babe. Just sleep, okay? I’ll wake you up once I’m done.”

“Okay. *rests his head on your lap while you study*”

“You’re so warm, babe. *nuzzles his face onto your stomach*”

“I know, I’m hot.”

“Hot like me, yes?”

Originally posted by timetoemptythetrash

Jooheon; He’d be really clingy. I mean more clingy compared to the other dudes. He’d constantly send you messages and even just random emojis, cute emojis that looked like him to be exact. Once he calls you, he’d be in full aegyo mode, like legit. Sometimes, he’d also whine when you’re not able to reply back or answer his calls but he’d also be pretty understanding to your situation since there are also times when he’s busy. When you’re able to rest for just a couple of minutes, he’d facetime you right away since he missed every single thing about you. He’d be all smiles when he sees you to be honest.

Omo, you look so cute with that sweater on babe!”

“It’s the same sweater that I wore yesterday tho.”

“But still, you still look cute hehehe!”

“Whatever babe. Anyways, I miss you.”

“Aww, I miss you more babe! Hey, are you free this Saturday? I want to go on a date with you.”

“I’m so sorry babe, I have a meeting the whole day for our department week.”

“How about dinner?”

“I guess it’s a date then.”

  • honey (3:21 am): (✿╹◡╹) don’t i look cute?
  • honey (3:22 am): (^ω^)i love you!
  • honey (3:25 am): ಠ_ಠ < he looks like changkyun lol

Originally posted by monbeboo

I.M; Changkyun would literally be curious with what you’re getting busy with. If it’s about something science-y, he’d literally call you and let you study out loud since he also wants to learn. Sometimes, the random facts that would come out from his mouth would also be part of the test!! Since you’re busy with university, you could rarely message him but then Changkyun on the other hand, has a lot of time in his hand and would constantly send you some random facts and some meme photos of the boys (lol). But then he’d also send you some sweet messages tho.

  • i.am.changkyun. (10:23 am): Hey [y/n], did you know that the smallest penguin on the planet is only 16 inches tall?! Amazing right?!
  • i.am.changkyun. (10:26 am): Did you also know that there are more lifeforms living on your skin than there are people on the planet?
  • i.am.changkyun. sent a photo (11:45 am)
  • i.am.changkyun. (11:46 am): lololol just look at hyungwon hyung’s face as he devoured the whole turkey leg!!
  • i.am.changkyun. (8:56 pm): Hey, I know this is out of the blue but I love you and I’ve always believed in you. I miss you already. I can’t wait to hang out with you soon baby! Don’t stress yourself too hard okay? Or else I’ll be forced to stay there for two straight nights ;)

hey, what are you studying?

“the parts of the frog, why?”

can you read it out loud? I want to learn about it too!”

“Okay, fine. You’ve never fail to surprise me Changkyun.”


So I took the trouble of making a video clip, but apparently I can’t upload a video and pics in one post. Go figure. Here, have a gif instead!! :D

I had always wondered what Genie had written on that waiter pad, so I opened up my translator app, and clumsily drew it with my fat fingers! :D (phenomenal cosmic smartphone, ITTY bitty screen space) Thought it was Arabic, shows how much I know! Apparently it’s actually written in PERSIAN, and Genie ordered him a whole, delicious, oven roasted turkey…..(I’m not drooling, you’re drooling, shut up!) ._.

Side note: Just so no one hurts me: that first non-gif pic is one I got off google. I took the rest myself (including the gif) .-.

In case you’re interested @phenominalcosmicpowers

Thanksgiving {Batfamily x Reader}

*This is a sequel to Egghead, a story about adopting a rottweiler who used to be involved in dogfighting, I highly recommend you read it before this :)*

a/n~ it’s a bit early, but i really loved the idea of a batfamily thanksgiving! i’m so thankful for you guys, your support means the world to me! happy early thanksgiving (and if you don’t celebrate it b/c youre from another country, happy early november 23rd!)  ❤ ❤ ❤

You set the pumpkin in the center of the table, then took a step back to examine whether it needed to be moved slightly to the left or right. Alfred stepped around you and put the bowl of mashed potatoes on the table, “Why, that’s very festive, Y/N.,” he nodded then turned to get the stuffing. You followed him back to the kitchen to help him set the table for Thanksgiving dinner. Jason and Dick were drinking apple cider around the island counter while Egghead wagged his tail by Jason’s leg.

The family has had Egghead for 6 months now, and it was one of the best decisions you’ve made to adopt him. Everyone in the household would set aside their differences as soon as Eggy would step into the room. He’s been mischievous, though. One night, when everyone in the house was out on night patrol or doing missions and Alfred was at the store, Egghead took a dump in the house, rolled around in it, and then proceeded to run throughout the halls, streaking crap along the walls and floors. It took 2 weeks for everyone to scrub the hallways down.

“Jay, will you bring out the green bean casserole? And Dick, can you get the pie and cobbler, please?” you asked as you picked up the dish of cranberry sauce. They set down their mugs and carried out the foods. As Jason was walking, Egghead squirmed between his legs. Just as Jason turned the corner, he tripped and dropped the casserole all over Damian, who was walking from the other direction.

“You imbecile!” Damian yelled at Jason. Egghead started to eat the casserole off of the floor as Jason was roaring with laughter. Damian stood there with his fists clenched as green beans fell off of his tailored tux. Bruce heard the yelling and stepped around the corner,  and inspected the scene. 

“Stop laughing! This is a serious dilemma! My tuxedo has been soiled!”

“I’m so-I’m-HAAAAA-I’m-HAHAHA-s-s-HAHAHAHAHA,” Jason was hunched over, clutching his abdomen as he snorted, “I can’t breathe!”

Bruce folded his arms and groaned, “Damian, go upstairs and change into something else. We’ll deal with this later. Jason, quit laughing and go sit down at the table. The dog will clean up this mess.”

Damian stomped up the flight of stairs, leaving a trail of green beans and gravy as Jason tried to hold back his laughter. Bruce headed back to the kitchen to get the turkey. Everyone sat around the table, and Damian joined a bit late. 

Bruce set the turkey onto the table, “Dinner is served.”

Everyone immediately started passing around the entrees as Bruce worked to cut the turkey quickly enough for the 14 people at the table. The dish of stuffing went around 3 times, and the cranberry sauce dish was sliding around the table, so everyone could get some. After everyone had said the prayer, they all dug into their foods.

“Selina, I’m so happy you could make it,” Bruce smiled as he took a bite of his turkey. Selina sprinkled salt onto her food and smiled back at him, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

At the other end of the table, Tim kept throwing turkey under the table for Ace as Dick and Barbara played rock, paper, scissors over the last butter roll. Jason and you were arguing over whether frosting turned a muffin into a cupcake or not. Alfred was talking to Helena about his recipe for the cobbler. Damian, Steph, and Cass were all trying to come up with the most offensive jokes they could think to say to eachother.

The turkey sat at the end of the table, on the edge of the other entrees. Egghead knew he wanted it. His tail was wagging and his saliva was pooling on the floor. i neeeeed that turkey, the rottweiler must have thought. Finally, he jumped onto the table, fit the whole turkey inside of his mouth, and made a run for it. The whole family darted from their seats to take the turkey from the dog. Egghead ran through the manor with the turkey in his mouth as the family came at him from all directions. As the dog would go into one door, a family member would jump out the other. As everyone was chasing the rottweiler, Alfred had a plan. Tim and Barbara chased him to the door of the kitchen, where Alfred stood tall.

“Stop!” The dog stopped. “Sit!” Egghead sat. “Drop!” He dropped his turkey and gave the puppy eyes. Alfred scooped the turkey off of the floor and set it on a plate. Everyone rejoiced in the kitchen, laughing at the mishap. Jason ended up apologizing to Damian and they hugged it out. 

“We all need to get a family picture, the camera is set up in the parlor,” Bruce announced. 

The enormous family gathered around the sofa, the men standing behind it as the women sat on the cushions. Damian stood by the side, because he was too short. Alfred pushed the button and quickly shuffled to the opposite side of the sofa. 

“Everyone say, ‘Happy Thanksgiving!”

As soon as everyone said it in unison, Egghead popped his head into frame and the flash went off. What a photobomb.

 egghead     masterlist

Yeah, I’ve seen that guy before. Cats go into his house, but I don’t see cats come out of his house.
—  APH Turkey, about APH Greece

Got to see a whole flock of… wild turkeys?! this morning. I kept squealing and laughing and saying “what the HELL?!” They were so huge and out of place and weird and I loved it.