whoiam

I spend 6 days of the week by myself, in bed or doing household tasks as I can, heavily medicated and constantly distracted with background noise to keep my anxiety in check. I check the plants, sometimes it’s actually time to water them. I feed the critters, sometimes, but it’s a lot of prep and my neck and shoulders don’t do that for long. I deal with the dishes though it’s extremely difficult and painful. Sometimes I concoct a natural household product or make a quick recipe that requires minimal prep and stirring. Occasionally I reply to the facebook messages and texts and emails that stack up unanswered day after day. Sometimes I’ll try to read, but these days am usually unable for long. Mostly I lie in bed, which I guess is called resting.

My life is dull and purposeless. Maybe one day that will change but for now that’s what I’m stuck with. I’m not dealing well.