The thing most people don’t seem to get about becoming a ship is that you don’t become a computer so much as the computer becomes you. This and this alone you can appreciate about your current status– all the books you’d read back in your days as a pretty good psionic nothing to write home about, before anybody’d even heard of the Signless, had tried and failed to capture the supposed poetic tragedy that comes with becoming the brain of a spaceship (not Helmsman, you never say Helmsman, you hear that enough from her it kind of makes you gag in anybody else’s voice), because the truth is what’s so bad about it isn’t anything to do with a lack of free will. Sure okay, you’re being forced to serve under the Condesce and there’s essentially no use in fighting it since it’s either this or what they call autopilot, which you guess you should mention is not a thing you can ever come back from, not the way she talks about it anyway.
If her Condescension is to be believed, this involves living out the rest of your life with all of your senses and basically nothing else: like a little animal with basic instincts and emotions so far as fear counts as one, but no will to even bother wishing could be free. But honestly? You’ve got about a thousand times the brain mass of even any of the other pilots in this galaxy and any psionic not talented enough to receive this so-called honor gets their brainspace chopped up into little bits, not the other way around.
Since the only punishment she knows how to give you is such an all-or-nothing kind of deal, all you have to do is not make her mad– like, really mad– like mad enough to give up the only stable relationship in her entire life and spend the next ten thousand sweeps or so watching his body sit there with no memory of who either of them are– and you get to keep this body the size of a whole city and barter the Empress out of conquering defenseless planets to your heart’s content. Hey man, check it out! In a sense you got just what you and the Signless wanted, because you’re bringing more peace to the universe than he could have even if he hadn’t been brutally murdered before he hit fifteen.
But no, really, none of this is that bad. None of this is the worst part. Huh, what? What is the worst part?
[Image description: a drawing of Terezi (left) and Sollux (right), done in pixel art in shades of gray, mustard yellow, teal and red. Both characters are delighted to the point of glittery eyes and bright blush– though they may also be drunk. Drawn by tumblr user heybuddyboy.]
this is meant as a thank you to all those who’ve joined this team: dreamwidth users vivianesection, shinzui14, motionless, sidehewalksinbeauty, and even or maybe especially brett (rieduentant) for putting up with my otp longings as first choice :p most of that first powerpoint was xir doing, by the way!!
ooh, and just because we have enough members now doesn’t mean i should stop recruiting more, right?? so i might send this guy around too.
text reads: “ii 2wear two god FF iit2 NOT IINTERE2TIING.” / “PL-E-E-EAS-E?!”
i feel like this would be about 90% of what these two would actually take away from any given feelings jam
also i just find it sort of disappointing that all fanworks for them have her being so legitimately good for him when in canon (and what, to be honest, what i like about them is that) they seem to be in a relationship purely for the sake of convenience :O fef just flounces around, proudly announcing to the world that her lowblood boyfriend has problems
every au dave worth reading about has had his knowledge of swords reduced to “check out this one i got at california adventure
"the scuffs are from splash mountain
"had to make sure i picked up some souvenir splash mountain dirt”
(gone o gone are the days of caring about all the cis boys waving goodbye to the most badass part of dave, mist in their eyes
(cry me a frickin river)