whoa this looks ok i think

He got hot!

pairing: Sebastian Stan X reader

plot: You watch the new trailer for spider man homecoming and start fangirling and ranting how hot tom looked in the shirtless scene to your boyfriend Sebastian stan.

warning: swearing 

a/n: I dunno if anyone reads this, but I will take my chances I was supposed to write this back when the trailer was dropped but like you can see I didn’t. I’m sorry if this sucks im very pleased with it. 

tags: (i tagged whoever wanted me to post this) @niallandsebastianaremylife @nataliehasgrace @sebstan01 @brokenbbarnes @dairyfarmher9 @sebatianstanisbae @gunsmoke-blu @crazy-rafe-madler @scamandaaaamn

Originally posted by heartfulloffandoms

*gif seb proving he is hot too*

“Staying home and being bored all day check,” you said as threw your bouncy ball in the air and cached it only to repeat the actions once again.

“What are you doing?” a voice came from nowhere. You looked around to find the source of the all so familiar voice, the only you saw other than your reflection in the mirror was a picture of you and your boyfriend Sebastian’s picture.

“Y/n, I’m talking you” you looked at the picture. “Is the picture talking to me?” You whispered.

“Oh, hell nah imma go get the salt” you jumped out of your bed when you bumped into something hard and big.

‘Now that sounds wrong’ you mentally cringed at the dirty thought.

You looked straight ahead and saw that you were in someone’s cleavage. “Well this is something” a loud laughter was heard. Looking up you saw Sebastian.

“It’s usually the opposite, but this is nice too” Sebastian smiled and leaned in to kiss your head.

“You smell” you whined, Sebastian smiled and grazed his hand on your cheek.

“Perks of going to the gym" he passed by you to get a towel so he can go get clean. “By the way, you watch wayy too much supernatural it’s its un-natural” he looked at you to see your unamused reaction to his horrible attempt at a  joke. 

“Sebastian” “Yes?” “Shut the fuck up!” He smiled as he walked to the bathroom and shouting an ‘I love you too’.

 You sat on your bed thinking about what to do you heard a buzz which was coming from your phone. It was a notification from Marvel saying that the new Spider-Man trailer was finally out. 

You’ve waited a long time for this and now it was finally here. You were surprised that Tom didn’t text you yet telling you to check it out.

 You met Tom in the set of Civil-War and became good friends. And since your favorite superhero is Spider-Man you and Tom(mostly you) had a lot of fun making Sebastian a bit jealous. Which is why Sebastian started to roast him. 

Turning on your laptop you went on YouTube to start the video. It’s was already number one in the charts and the reviews were just unbelievable. 

“Is that Tom?” Sebastian asked. His wet hair dripping on the floor as he walked towards you. “Yeah, his trailer came out. Wanna see it with me?” You asked in a cheery tone. Sebastian laughed at your childish behavior “sure,” he sat right next to you as you played the short video. 

“Whoa!” Your eyes were wide as you looked at Sebastian “THAT WAS AWSOME!” you praised. Sebastian laughed once again “ meh it’s ok I guess,” he told you. “Ok? Just ok?” You looked at him “it was amazing! I am so proud of him. He gonna be the best Spider-Man, no he IS the best Spider-Man” you praised Tom some more. "Y/n you just watched 5 seconds of the trailer, why don’t you watch the whole thing then decide what you think about it?“ You agreed and continued to watch the video.

 Your jaw dropped at the scene when Peter was in his room and his spider suit came off. You knew he was really lean but didn’t know that he was like this. Which was nice? But weird at the same time because you considered him as a brother of some sort even though he isn’t much younger than you. You couldn’t think of him as any other way. 

"Shit he got hot,” you told Sebastian. Sebastian looked at you with a raised eyebrow “you find him hot?” grinning you looked at Sebastian and continued to praise Tom about his body and how 'hot’ he was.

 Sebastian face formed into disgust since he knew how you felt about Tom. “But babe he’s younger than you?” He whined “and your older than me what the difference sebby?” You asked. 

God, you loved teasing him. The day went by Sebastian whining like a 5-year-old and you constantly teasing him at any moment of the day. You guys would be eating and you would just bring up the subject about Tom’s abs.

 "Hey, Seb?“ You poked his bicep "hm” he hummed “you know who’s super hot like really hot?” Sebastian rolled his eyes in annoyance “Let me guess Tom Hoeland” he said proud and of his pun. “What no he’s like my brother” you defended “and it’s Holland”. 

“Ok, then who is so hot?” He turned to look at you better. Smirking you turned around to face him and leaned over to whisper in his ear “Peter Parker” you grinned. You started to laugh when you saw Sebastian’s face, he looked at pissed it made you laugh. “I’m just kidding babe,” you hugged him “ it’s you, you are the super hot guy”. He smiled at you and gave you kiss on the cheek. “But you know who else is hot” before you can say anything else Sebastian picked you up and took to your shared room, “I think he had enough of hot guys for one day”.

Not So Drunken Babble

 Characters: Dean, Female Reader, Sam and Cas 

Pairing: DeanxReader

A/N: This is my entry for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog Rom COm challenge. I chose the line from Hope Floats ( GREAT movie) and the prompt is in bold. I had alot of fun with this, and I love writing Dean. 

Tags: @hunters-hiraeth @ravengirl94 @thegreatficmaster @lafitte @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @lipstickandwhiskey @rowdyhooliganism

Prompt:   Why does everybody keep asking me if I’ve been drinking? What? Is there like a coaster stuck to my… butt or something?- Hope Floats

Originally posted by canonspngifs

Dean scrubbed his face with his hand and sighed. This was impossible, it wasn’t happening. He was Dean Fucking Winchester! He’d stopped the Apocalypse, been to Hell, been to Purgatory and he’d been up against every single monster the universe could throw at him. All that, and this one act had him about to piss his pants.

He took a swig of his coffee, his third cup in an hour. Nobody else was up in the bunker, Sam snoring peacefully and Y/n curled up in her own bed. He could practice now. Practice made perfect, he’d always heard. Taking a deep breath, he leaned back and pulled on his most charming smile. “ So, Y/n. You and I, we been dancing around this fire called love awhile, huh?”

This fire called love?!  Chuck help him that was awful. He cleared his throat and leaned forward, like a certain female hunter was talking to him. “ I completely agree, Y/N! How about when we finish up this research you and I go grab some dinner. Some that you don’t cook? Not that you aren’t a great cook, just I’d like to eat something different. Not that you make the same thing every time. You make different stuff. You are different. But in a good way…”. He slammed his head on the table and groaned, “ I’m an idiot.”

“ It is an idiotic concept to speak to someone who isn’t there and expect a response.” A deep voice came from the air, making Dean shout and jump up. Cas stood on the other side of the kitchen, deep blue eyes crinkled in confusion while he looked at Dean. “ Son of a bitch, Cas! Don’t just pop up like that.” Dean sighed and rubbed his chest to calm his heart. The trench coat clad angel sat across from his friend and continued to look at him. “ Who were you speaking with, Dean? Sam and Y/n are both asleep and you were alone when I entered.”

Dean swirled his mug and mumbled, “ I was talking to myself, Cas.” Castiel furrowed his brows more, “ You were having a conversation with yourself? But you said Y/n’s name as if she were here.” Dean fidgeted in his seat, “ Well…I mean…I was talking to Y/n…sorta…but I was sorta talking to myself, too. Like, I was pretending she was here…” he trailed off when Cas reached over to pick up the coffee mug. Sniffing it, the angel’s cobalt eyes looked up in more confusion. “ Dean? Have you been consuming alcohol?” Dean snatched the mug away and stalked out of the kitchen to his room.

The next morning, while Y/n was out on a food run, Dean went into the garage to work on Baby and try to practice again. “ Hey, Y/n I heard this really great song the other day and it made me think of you. It was by the Sheeran guy. I know you like cheesy stuff like that…not that you have horrible taste…its just not mine..but it’s ok…”.

He threw the socket wrench in frustration, just missing Sam’s shin. “ Whoa, easy dude!” the tall man said flinching away. Dean slammed his tool box and ran his fingers through his hair, “ Sorry, Sammy.”

“ I thought I heard you talking to Y/n. Is she back already?” Sam leaned on the roof of the Impala and glanced around. Dean stood up, “ No, I wasn’t talking to her. I was just…talking.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, “ Ooookkayy. Anyways, I think I found a case a few states over. Looks like some simple voodoo gone extra dark. Was thinking I’d ask Y/N to tag along and me and her handle it.”

Dean’s head shot up, green eyes wide in panic. “ Y/N?”

Sam blinked at the dazed look on his brother’s face, “ Yeah, Dean. You know Y/n. About so tall, always rides in the back of the Impala, has lived with us for about…”

“ Shut up, Sam. I just…don’t see why you have to take a partner.” Dean mumbled and scuffed at the floor with the toe of his boot. Sam tried to hide his smirk. He’d known of his brother’s massive crush on the female hunter before Dean would even admit it to himself. “ Because you hate research and voodoo is Y/N/N’s specialty.” Dean scowled at the logic, but wasn’t surrendering yet. “ I mean, I don’t hate research. Plus Y/n isn’t all that great with voodoo. I mean and do you really want to even do this? We can pass it off. I mean give it away to another hunter.”

Sam was about to die of laughter, “ Dean, did you just admit that you don’t want me alone with Y/N?”

“ What? Of course not! I mean I don’t like the idea of you two alone. I mean not alone together, alone alone…like in the hotel alone…I mean you wouldn’t be alone because it’s a hotel…but…”.

Sam threw his head back and laughed, “ Dean, have you been hitting the whiskey this early in the day?”

“ Fuck off, Sam.”

Keep reading

Disney/Pix​ar Cars McQueen: OK… Here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. McQueen: One winner. 42 losers. I eat losers for breakfast. McQueen: Breakfast. Wait, maybe I should have had breakfast. A little breck-y could be good for me. No,no,no, stay focused. Speed. McQueen: I’m faster than fast. Quicker than quick. I am Lightning! Mack: (knock-kno​ck)Hey Lightning, are you ready? McQueen: Oh, yeah. Lightning'​s ready. Song McQueen: Ka-chow! Song Seller: Get your antenna here! Fans: You got that right, Slick. Bob Cutlass: Welcome back to the Dinoco 400. I’m Bob Cutlass, here with my good friend, Darrel Cartrip. We’re midway through what may turn out to be a historic day for racing. Darrel Cartrip: Bob, my oil pressure’s through the roof right now. If this gets more exciting, they’re gonna have to tow me outta the booth! Bob Cutlass: Right you are, Darrell. Three cars are tied for the season points lead, heading into the final race of the season. And the winner of this race Darrell, will win the season title and, the Piston Cup. Does The King, Strip Weathers, have one more victory in him before retirement​? Darrell: He’s been Dinoco’s golden boy for years! Can he win them one last Piston Cup? Bob: And, as always, in the second place spot we find Chick Hicks. He’s been chasing that tailfin his entire career. Darrell: Chick thought this was his year, Bob. His chance to finally emerge from The King’s shadow. But the last thing he expected was…Ligh​tning McQueen! Bob: You know, I don’t think anybody expected this. The rookie sensation come into the season unknown. But everyone knows him now. Darrell: Will he be the first rookie to win a Piston Cup and land Dinoco? Bob: The legend, the runner up, and the rookie! Three cars, one champion! Song Chick: No you don’t. Fans: Oohh. What a ride! Chick: Hahaha Fans: Go get'em, McQueen! Go get'em! Fans: We love you, Lightning! Chick: Dinoco is all mine. Race car: Ahhhh! Darrell: Trouble, turn three! Chick: Haha. Get through that, Mcqueen. Bob: Ouw.. A huge crash behind the leaders! Fans: Wahh!! Bob: Wait a second, Darrell. McQueen is in the wreckage. Darrell: There’s no way the rookie can make it through! Not in one piece that is. Mia & Tia: Lightning, ahhh. Darrell: Look at that, McQueen made it through! Bob: Man, a spectacula​r move by Lightning McQueen. McQueen: Yeah! Ka-chow! Fans: McQueen (7X) Fan: Yeah McQueen! Ka-chow! Bob: While everyone else heads into the pits, McQueen stays out to take the lead! Broken car: Don’t take me out coach. I can still race! Chick: Haha. What do you think boys? A thing of beauty. Chick’s coach: McQueen made it through! Chick: What? Chick’s coach: He’s not pitting! Chick: Come on! Get me out there! Let’s go! Get me back out there! Come on! Bob: McQueen’s not going into the pits! Darrell: You know the rookie just fired his crew chief. That’s the third one this season! Bob: Well he says he likes working alone Darrell. Chick’s coach: Go, go, go! Bob: Looks like Chick got caught up in the pits. Darrell: Yeah, after a stop like that, he’s got a lot of ground to make up.Get ready boys, we’re coming to the restart! Chick: Come on, come on, come on! McQueen’s crew: We need tires now! Come on, let’s go! McQueen: No,no,no,n​o! No tires, just gas! McQueen’s crew: What! You need tires, you idiot! Darrell: Looks like it’s all gas-and-go​’s for McQueen today. Bob: That’s right. No tires again. Darrell: Normally I said a short-term gain, long-term loss, but it’s sure is workin’ for him. He obviously knows somethin’ we don’t know. Bob: This is it Darrell, one lap to go and Lightning McQueen has a huge lead. Darrell: All he’s got it in the bag. Call in the dogs and put out the fire! We’re gonna crown us a new champion! McQueen: Checkered flag, here I come! Darrell: Oh, no! McQueen has blown a tire! Bob: And with only one turn to go! Can he make it? McQueen’s crew: You fool! The King’s Coach: McQueen’s blown a tire!, McQueen’s blown a tire! Go,go,go! Darrell: He lost another tire! The King and Chick are coming up fast! Bob: They’re entering turn three! McQueen: Come on. Darrell: I don’t belive what I’m watching, Bob! Darrell: Lightning McQueen is hundred feet from his Piston Cup! Bob: The King and Chick rounding turn four. Darrell: Down the stretch they come! And it’s, and it’s… Bob: It’s too close to call! Too close to call! Darrell: I don’t belive it! (2X) Mia & Tia: Lightning! Bob: The most spectacula​r, amazing unequivoca​lly, unbelievab​le ending in the history of the world! And we don’t even know who won! Darrell: Look at that! Security: Hey, no cameras! Get outta here! Kori Turbowitz: We’re here in Victory Lane, awaiting the race results. McQueen that was quite a risky move, not taking tires. McQueen crew: Tell me about it. Kori Turbowitz: Are you sorry you don’t have a crew chief out there? McQueen’s Crew: Hah! McQueen: Oh Kori. There’s a lot more to racing than just winning. I mean, taking the race by a full lap… Where’s the entertainm​ent in that? No no no… I wanted to give folks a little sizzle. McQueen’s crew: Sizzle? McQueen: Am I sorry I don’t have a crew chief? No, I’m not. Cause I’m a one-man show. McQueen crew: Whats? Oh, yeah right. Kori Turbowitz: That was a very confident Lightning McQueen. Coming to you live from Victory Lane, I’m Kori Turbowitz. Cameramen: Hey, get out of the shot! McQueen: Yo, Chuck, what are you doing? You’re blocking the camera. Everyone wants to see the bolt. McQuenn crew: What? McQueen: Now, back away. McQueen’s crew: Ahh! That’s it. Come on guys. McQueen: Whoa, team! Where are going? McQueen’s crew: We quit, Mr. One-Man Show! McQueen: Oh, OK, leave. Fine. Hahaha. How will I ever find anyone else who knows how to fill me up with gas? Adios Chuck! McQueen’s crew: And my name is not Chuck! McQueen: Oh, whatever. Chuck: Hey, Lightning! Yo! McQueen! Seriously, that was some pretty darn nice racin’ out there. By me! Hahaha! Chick’s crew: Zinger Chick: Welcome to the Chick era, baby! The Piston Cup… It’s mine dude. It’s mine. Hey fellas, how do you think I’m look in Dinoco blue? Dinoco blue! Hahaha! McQueen: In your dreams Thunder. Chick: Yeah, right. Thunder? What’s he talkin’ about, “Thunder”? McQueen: You know, cause’ thunder always comes after lightning. Pew, Kaka-phow! Chick: Who here knew about the thunder thing? Chick’s crew: I didn’t. Cameramen: Give us the bolt! Cameramen: That’s right. Cameramen: Right in the lens. Cameramen: Show me the bolt, baby! Cameramen: Smile, McQueen! Cameramen: Show me the bolt, McQueen! Cameramen: That’s it! Tex: Ohh we, that was one close finish. You sure made Dinoco proud. Thank you, King. The King: Well, Tex, you’ve been good to me all these years. It’s the least I could do. Dear: Whatever happens, you’re winner to me, you old daddy rabbit. The King: Thanks, dear. We wouldn’t be nothing without you. Mia: I’m Mia. Tia: I’m Tia. Mia & Tia: We’re like your biggest fans! Ka-chow! McQueen: I love being me. Security: OK, girls, that’s it. Mia & Tia: We love you, Lightning! Some guys far away: We love you more!! The King: Hey, buddy. You’re one gutsy racer. McQueen: Oh, hey, Mr. The King. The King: You got more talent in one lug nut than a lot of cars has got in their whole body. McQueen: Really? Oh, that… The King: But you’re stupid. McQueen: Excuse me? The King: This ain’t a one-man deal, kid. You need to wise-up and get you self a good crew chief and a good team. And you ain’t gonna win unless you got good folks behind you, and you let them do their job, like they should. Like I tell the boys at the shop… McQueen: A good team. Yeahhh. Dreaming Song. Mia & Tia: Oh, McQueen. The King: If you figure that out, you just gonna be OK. McQueen: Oh, yeah, that.. That is spectacula​r advice. Thank you Mr. The King. Speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Piston Cup history… McQueen: A rookie has won the Piston Cup. Yes!! Speaker: We have a three-way tie. Chick: Oh, ho. Hey, McQueen, that must be really embarrassi​ng. But I wouldn’t be worry about it. Because I didn’t do it! Hahaha! Speaker: Piston Cup officials have determined that a tiebreaker race between the three leaders will be held in California in one week. Chick: Well, thank you! Thanks to all of you out there! Thank you! Hey, rook, first one to California gets Dinoco all to himself. Ahh! No, not me! No, you rock, and you know that! Balloon: Oh, yeah! Woaah!! McQueen: First one to California gets Dinoco all to himself. Ohh, we’ll see who gets there first, Chick. Huh? Mack: Hey, kid! Congrats on the tie. McQueen: I don’t want to talk about it. Come on, let’s go, Mack. Saddle up. What’d you do with my trailer? Mack: I parked it at your sponsor’s tent. McQueen: What? Mack: You gotta make your personal appearance​. McQueen: No. No! No,no,no,n​o! McQueen: Yes, yes, yes! Lightning McQueen here. And I use Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment, new rear end formula! Nothing soothes rusty bumper like Rust-eze. McQueen: Wow! Look at that shine! Use Rust-eze and you too can look like me! Ka-chow! Rust-eze Car: Hahaha. I met this car from Swampscott​. He was so rusty he didn’t even cast a shadow. Rust-eze Van: You could see his dirty undercarri​age. Hahaha. McQueen: Uahh! I hate rusty cars. This is not good for my image. Mack: They did give you your big break. Besides, it’s in your contract. McQueen: Oh, will you stop please? Just go get hooked up. Rust-eze Van: Winter is a grand old time. Rust-eze Car: Of this there are no ifs or buts. Rust-eze Van: But remember, all that salt and grime… Rust-eze Car: Can rust your bolts and freeze your… Rust-eze Van: Hey look! There he is! Our almost champ! Victory ran to your rear end in here, kid. Fan: Lightning McQueen, you are wicked fast! Fan: That race was a pisser! Fan: You were booking McQueen! McQueen: Give me a little room guys. Fred: You’re my hero Mr.McQueen​. McQueen: Yes, I know. Fred, Fred, thank you. Fred: He knows my name. He knows my name! Rust-eze Van: Looking good, Freddie! Rust-eze Car: Thanks to you Lightning, we had a banner year! Rust-eze Van: We might clear enough to buy you some headlights​. Rust-eze Car: Are you saying he doesn’t have headlights​? Rust-eze Van: That’s what I’m telling ya. It’s just stickers! McQueen: Well, you know, racecars don’t need headlights​, because the track is always lit. Rust-eze Car: Yeah, well,so is my brother, but he still needs headlights​. Hahaha McQueen: Hahaha! Ha!! Hahaha!! Rust-eze Car: Ladies and gentlemen, Lightning McQueen! Fans: Free Bird! McQueen: You know, the Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment team ran a great race today. And remember, with a little Rust-eze..​.And an insane amount of luck, you too can look like me. Ka-chow. Rust-eze Car: Hey, kid. Rust-eze Van: We love ya. And we’re looking forward to another great year. Just like this year. Hahaha. McQueen: Not on your life. Rust-eze Car: Don’t drive like my brother! Rust-eze Van: Oh Yeah, don’t drive like my brother! Mack: California​, here we come! McQueen: Dinoco, here we come! Song McQueen: I needed this. Hello? Harv: Is this Lightning McQueen, the world’s fastest racing machine? McQueen: Is this Harv, the world’s greatest agent? Harv: And it is such a honor to be your agent and it almost hurts to take ten percent of your winnings and merchandis​ing. And ancillary rights in perpetuity​. Anyway, what a race! Hot champ! I didn’t see it, but I heard you were great. McQueen: Thanks, Harv. Harv: Listen, they’re giving you 20 tickets for the tiebreaker thing in Cali. I’ll pass ‘em on to your friends. You shoot me the names. You let Harv rock it for you. All right, baby? McQueen: Right. Friends. Yes, there’s a… Harv: OK, I get it, Mr.Popular​. So many friends you can’t even narrow it down. Hey, when you get to town, you better make time for your best friend! You gotta break bread with your mishpoache​h here! McQueen: Yeah, yeah, that’d be great! We should totally… Harv: Ok, I gotta jump, kid. Let me know how it goes. I’m out. McQueen: What? A minivan? Oh, come on Mack, you’re in the slow lane. This is Lightning McQueen you’re hauling here. Mack: Just stopping off for a quick breather, kid. Old Mack needs a rest. McQueen: Absolutely not. McQueen: We’re driving straight to all night till we get to California​. We agreed to it. Mack: All night? May I remind you, federal DOT regs state… McQueen: Come on, I need to get there before Chick get hang with Dinoco. Mack: Ahh, all those sleeping trucks. Hey kid, I don’t know if I can make it. McQueen: Oh, sure you can, Mack. Look, it’ll be easy. I’ll stay up with you. Mack: All night? McQueen: All night long. McQueen: Zzzzz… DJ Song Snot Rod: Ah, ahh, achowww! Wingo: Hahaha! Boost: Hey, yo, DJ. DJ: What up? Boost: We got ourselves a nodder. DJ: Hahaha. Mack: Pretty music. Boost: Yo, Wingo! Lane change, man. Wingo: Right back at ya! Hahaha. Snot Rod: Yeah! Boost: Oops! I missed. Snot Rod: You going on vacation? Tuner team: Hahaha. Boost: Oh, no, Snot Rod… Wingo: He’s gonna blow! Snot Rod: Ahh…ahhh​…ahhh…​achoowww!!​! Mack: Gesundheit​! Hoho. One should never drive while drowsy. McQueen: MACK! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Hey,Mack! Mack! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Mack,wait for me! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Mack! Mack! McQueen: Mack! Mack… McQueen:..​.wait up! Mack. McQueen: Mack! Mack! McQueen: What?You'r​e not Mack. Peterbilt: Mack?I ain’t no Mack!I’m a Peterbilt, for dang sake! Peterbilt: Turn on your lights, you moron! McQueen: Mack… The Interstate​! Sheriff: Ahh!. Not in my town, you don’t. McQueen: Oh, no…Oh, maybe he can help me! He’s shooting at me! Why is he shooting at me! Sheriff: I haven’t gone this fast in years. I’m gonna blow a gasket or somethin’. McQueen: Serpentine​! Serpentine​, serpentine​! Sheriff: What in the blue blazes? Crazy hot rodder. Filmore: I’m telling you, man, every third blink is slower. Sarge: The sixties weren’t good for you, were they? McQueen: What? That’s not the Interstate​! Ahh ho, Auw, auw,auw! Ahhhh! No, no, no, no! Filmore: I’m not the only seeing this, right? Sarge: Incoming! Filmore: Whoa man. Sarge: No! Ramone: Hey, you scratch my paint! McQueen: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Luigi: My tires! McQueen: Phoah! Red: Huh! McQueen: Uargh! Red: Huh! Filmore: Fly away, Stanley. Be free! Sheriff: Boy, you’re in a heap of trouble. Kori Turbowitz: We’re live at the Los Angeles Internatio​nal Speedway as the first competitor​, Lightning McQueen, is arriving at the track. Cameramen: Is it true he’s gonna pose for Cargirl? Cameramen: Lightning, what’s your strategy? Woahh! Mack: What? Did I forget to wipe my mud flaps? News: McQueen’s driver arrived in California​, but McQueen was missing. News: Racecar Lightning McQueen was reported missing. News: He scheduled to race an unpreceden​ted… News: Sponsor stated they have no idea where he is. Junior: I hope Lightning'​s OK. I sure hate to see anything bad happen to him. Jay Limo: I don’t know what’s harder to find, Lightning McQueen or a crew chief who’ll work for him! Hummer: Lightning McQueen must be found at all costs! News: They’re all asking the same question: Where is McQueen? McQueen: Oh, boy. Where am I? Mater: Mornin’, sleepin’ beauty! McQueen: Ahhhhh!! Mater: Hahaha! Boy, I was wonderin’ when you was gonna wake up. McQueen: Take whatever you want! Just don’t hurt me! a parking boot? Why do I have a parking boot on? What’s going on here? Please! Mater: You’re funny. I like you already. My name’s Mater. McQueen: Mater. Mater: Yeah, like “tuh-mater​”, but without the “tuh”. What’s your name? McQueen: You don’t know my name? Mater: Uhh, no, I know your name. Is your name Mater too? McQueen: What? Look, I need to get to California as fast as possible. Where am I? Mater: Where are you? Shoot! You’re in Radiator Springs. The cutest little town in Carburetor County. McQueen: Oh, great. Just great! Mater: Well, if you think that’s great, you should see the rest of the town. McQueen: You know, I’d love to see the rest of the town! So if you could just open the gate, take this boot off, you and me, we go cruisin’, check out the local scene… Mater: Dad-gum! McQueen: How’d that be, Tuh-Mater? Mater: Cool Sheriff: Mater! What did I tell you about talkin’ to the accused? Mater: To not to. Sheriff: Well, quit yer yappin’ and tow this delinquent road hazard to traffic court. Mater: Well, we’ll talk later, Mater. Haha. “Later, Mater.” That’s funny! Sheriff: The Radiator Springs Traffic Court will come to order! Ramone: Hey, you scratched my paint! I ought take a blowtorch to you, man! Luigi: You broke-a the road! You a very bad car! Fillmore: Fascist! Commie! McQueen: Officer, talk to me, babe. How long is this gonna take? I gotta get to California​, pronto. Sheriff: Where’s your lawyer? McQueen: Tuh, I don’t know. Tahiti maybe. He’s got a timeshare there. Sheriff: When a defendant has no lawyer, the court will assign one to him. Hey! Anyone want to be his lawyer? Mater: Shoot, I’ll do it, Sheriff! Sheriff: All rise! The Honorable Doc Hudson presiding. Luigi: Show-off. Sheriff: May Doc have mercy on your soul. Doc Hudson: All right, I wanna know who’s responsibl​e for wreckin’ my town, Sheriff. I wanna his hood on a platter! I’m gonna put him in jail till he rots! No, check that. I’m gonna put him in jail till the jail rots on top of him, and then I’m gonna move him to a new jail and let that jail rot. I’m… Throw him out of here, Sheriff. I want him out of my courtroom. I want him out of our town! Case dismissed. McQueen: Yes! Mater: Boy, I’m purty good at this lawyerin’ stuff. Sally: Sorry I’m late, Your Honor! McQueen: Holy Porsche! She’s gotta be from my attorney’s office. Hey, thanks for comin’, we’re all set. He’s letting me go. Sally: He’s letting you go? McQueen: Yeah, your job’s pretty easy today. All you have to do now is stand there and let me look at you. Listen, I’m gonna cut to the chase. Me, you, dinner. Ka-chow! Sally: What the…? Auww! Please! McQueen: I know, I get that reaction a lot. I create feelings in others that they themselves don’t understand​. Sally: Ohhh, auww! McQueen: Oh, I’m sorry. Did I scare you? Mater: Well, a little bit, but I’ll be alright. Sally: OK. I’m gonna go talk to the judge. McQueen: Do what you gotta do, baby. Oh, but listen. Be careful. Folks around here are not firing on all cylinders, if you know what I mean. Mater: Ka-ching! Auww! Sally: I’ll keep that in mind. Hey there, Mater. Mater: Howdy, Sally. Sally: Hi, folks! Folks: Good morning! Sally. McQueen: You know her? Mater: She’s the town attorney and my fiancee. McQueen: What? Mater: Nah, I’m just kiddin’. She just like me for my body. Sally: Doc, you look great this morning. Did you do something different with your side view mirrors? Doc: What do you want, Sally? Sally: Ah, come on, make this guy fix the road. The town needs this. Doc: No. I know his type. Racecar. That’s the last thing this town needs. Sally: OK, I didn’t want to have to do this, Doc, but you leave me no choice. Fellow citizens, you’re all aware of our town’s proud history. Doc: Here she goes again. Sally: Radiator Springs, the glorious jewel strung on the necklage of Route 66, the mother road! It is our job and our pleasure to take care of the travelers on our stretch of that road. Sarge: Travelers? What travelers? Filmore: Ignore him. Sally: But how, I ask you, are we to care for those travelers if there is no road for them to drive on? Luigi, what do you have at your store? Luigi: Tires Sally: And if no one can get to you? Luigi: I won’t sell any…tire​s. I will lose everything​! Ohho. Sally: Flo, what do you have at your store? Flo: I have gas. Lotsa gas! Sally: OK boys, stay with me. And, and, Flo, what’ll happen if no one can come to your station to buy gas? Flo: I’ll go outta business and… we’ll have to leave town. Sally: And what’s gonna happen to all of us if Flo leaves town and closes her station? Folks: Without gas, we’re done for! Lizzie: What? Sally: So, don’t you think the car responsibl​e should fix our road? Lizzie: The only guy strong enough to fix that road is Big Al! Ramone: Lizzie, the guy left, like, 15 years ago. Lizzie: Then why are you bringing him up, you lemon? Sally: Oh, he can do it. He’s got the horsepower​. So, what do you want him to do? Folks: Fix the road! Sally: Because we are a town worth fixing! Folks: Yeah!!! Doc: Order in the court! Seems like my mind has been changed for me. Folks: Yeah!! McQueen: No! Filmore: Nice rulin’. McQueen: Ohh, I am so not take you to dinner. Sally: That’s OK, Stickers. You can take Bessie. Mater: Oh man, you got to work with Bessie! I’d give my left two lug nuts for somethin’ like that. McQueen: Bessie? Who’s Bessie? Doc: This here is Bessie, finest road-pavin​’ machine ever built. I’m hereby sentencing you to community service. You’re gonna fix the road under my supervisio​n. McQueen: What? This place is crazy! Mater: Hey, I know this may be a bad time right now, but tha, you owe me $32,000 in legal fees. McQueen: What? Doc: So we’re gonna hitch you up to sweet Bessie, and you’re gonna pull her nice. McQueen: You’re gotta be kidding me. Doc: You start there where the road begins, you finish down there where the road ends. Mater: Holy shoot! McQueen: Whoa, whoa, whoa! How long is this gonna take? Doc: Well, fella does it right, should take him about five days. McQueen: Five days? But I should be in California schmoozing Dinoco right now! Doc: Then if I were you, I’d quit yappin and start workin’! Hook him up, Mater. Mater: Okay-dokey​. McQueen: Freedom!! Mater: Maybe I should’ve-​a hooked him up to Bessie…a​nd then-a…t​hen took the boot off. McQueen: Wuuuhuuu! Goodbye, Radiator Springs, and goodbye, Bessie! California​, here I come! Yeah! Oh, fell that wind. Yes! No,no,no,n​o! Outta gas? How can I be outta gas? Sheriff: Hahaha. Boy, we ain’t as dumb as you think we are. McQueen: But,but,bu​t how did, how did…you.​..? Sally: We siphoned your gas while you were passed out. Ka-chow. McQueen: Auw,auw,au​w,auw,auww​w!! Sheriff: Hahaha. Sheriff: Gentlemen. Sarge: Sheriff. Filmore: Hai, Sheriff. Luigi: Why the tires are here? Guido: Sono sempre stati qui. Luigi: They were better well before. Guido: Stai sempre a parlare. Luigi: Guido! Lizzie: Red, can you move over? I want to get look at that sexy hot rod. Mater: You know, I used to be a purty good whistler. I can’t do it now of course, on account of sometimes I get fluid built up in my engine block, but Doc said he’s gonna fix it dough. He can fix about anything. That’s why we made him the judge. Boy, you shoulda heard me on Giddy-up, Oom Papa Mow Mow. Now, I’m not one to brag, but people come purty far to see me get low on the “Mow-Mow”. McQueen: Ah? Ah, man, that’s just great! Mater: Hey, what’s wrong? McQueen: My lucky sticker’s all dirty. Mater: Thaah, that ain’t nothin’. I’ll clean it for ya. McQueen: No,no,no! That wouldn’t be necessary. Hey! Hey, big fella! Yeah, you in the red! I could use a little hose down. Help me wash this off. What, where’s he goin’? Mater: Oh, he’s still a little bit shy, and he hates you for killin’ his flowers. McQueen: I shouldn’t have to put up with this. I’m a precision instrument of speed and aerodynami​cs. Mater: You hurt your what? McQueen: I’m a very famous racecar! Luigi: You are a famous racecar? A real racecar? McQueen: Yes, I’m a real racecar. What do you think? Look at me. Luigi: I have followed racing my entire life of my whole life! McQueen: Then you know who I am. I’m Lightning McQueen. Luigi: Lightening McQueen! McQueen: Yes! Yes! Luigi: I must scream it to the world! My excitement from the top of someplace very high! Do you know many Ferraris? McQueen: No,no,no. They race on the European circuit. I’m in the Piston Cup! What? Luigi: Luigi follow only the Ferraris. Flo: Is that what I think it is? Sally: Customers. Customers! Customers, everyone! Customers! OK. Lizzie: Customers? Sally: All right, everybody calm down for a long time. Just remember what we rehearsed. Make sure your “Open, please come in” signs are out. And you all know what to do. All right, nobody panics. Here we go! Minny: Van, I just don’t see any on-ramp anywhere. Van: Minny, I know exactly where we are. Minny: Yeah, we’re in the middle of nowhere. Van: Honey, please. Sally: Hello. Welcome to Radiator Springs, gateway to Ornament Valley. Legendary for it’s quality service and friendly hospitalit​y. How can we help you? Van: We don’t need anything, thank you very much. Minny: Whoa, honey ask her direction to the Interstate​. Van: There’s no need to ask for directions​. Minny, I know exactly where we’re going. Minny: He did the same thing on our trip to Shakopee. You know, we were headed over there for the Crazy Days, and we… Van: OK,OK. Really. We’re just peachy, OK? Filmore: What you really need is the sweet taste of my homemade, organic fuel. Van: No, it doesn’t agree with my tank. Minny: We’re just trying to find the Interstate​. Sarge: Good to see you, Soldier! Come on by Sarge’s Surplus Hut for all your government surplus needs. Minny: Ohh, honey, surplus! Van: I think we have too much surplus. Sally: I do have a map over the Cozy Cone Motel. And if you do stay, we offer a free Lincoln Continenta​l breakfast. Minny: Honey, she’s got a map. Van: I don’t need a map! I have the GPS. Never need a map again, thank you. Flo: How 'bout somethin’ to drink? Stop at Flo’s V8 Cafe. Finest fuel on Route 66. Van: No, we just top off. Luigi: And if you need tires, stop by Luigi’s Casa Della Tires, home of the Leaning Tower of Tires. Minny: We’re just trying to find the Interstate​. Ramone: But you do need a paint job man. Ramone will paint you up right. Hey, anything you want! You know, like a flame job. Minny: No, thanks… Ramone: Maybe ghost flames! You like old school pinstripin​’? Von Dutch style ha? Minny: Oh, honey, look. Von Dutch. Van: Oh, ho, OK, no. Ahahaha. We’re gonna be going now, OK? Auww! Lizzie: A little somethin’ to remember us by, OK? Van: Oh,ha,ha. OK! Sally: Come back soon, OK? I mean, you know where we are! Tell your friends! Van: HohohOK! Yes. You bet. Minny: Thanks again, folks. Bye-bye now. McQueen: Psst! Psst! Hey! Hey, hey,hey! I know how to get to the Interstate​! Minny: Oh, do ya? Van: Minny, no. McQueen: Yeah, yeah,yeah. No, not really. But listen. I’m Lightning McQueen, the famous racecar. I’m being held heren against my will. And I need you to call my team, so they can rescue me, and get me to California in time for me to win The Piston Cup. Do you understand​? McQueen: No,no,no,n​o,no. No, It’s the truth! I’m telling you! You gotta help me! Don’t leave me here! I’m in hillbilly hell! My IQ’s dropping by the second! I’m becoming one of them! Sally: OK, don’t worry. They know where we are now. They’re gonna tell their friends. You’ll see. Radio: And we’ll be back for our Hank Williams marathon..​. Sally: That’s good. Radio:…a​fter a Piston Cup update. Still no sign of Lightning McQueen. Meanwhile, Chick Hicks arrived in California and today became the first car to spend practice time on the track. Chick: Yeah, well it’s just nice to get out here before the other competitor​s. You know, get a headstart. Gives me an edge. Dreaming Song Chick: Yeah. Chick: Hey, McQueen… Eat your heart out. McQueen: Mater, let me get this straight. I can go when this road is done. That’s the deal, right? Mater: That’s what they done did said. McQueen: OK. Outta my way. I got a road to finish. Mater: He’s done! Doc: Done? Mater: Ahmhm. Doc: It’s only been an hour. McQueen: I’m done. Look, I’m finished. Just say thank you, and I’ll be on my way. That’s all I gotta say. Mater: Weehoo! I’m the first one on the new road! Ahho! It rides purty smooth. Sally: It looks awful! McQueen: Well, it matches the rest of the town. Sally: Ahh. Red: Umph, huhuhuh. Sally: Red. Who do you think you are? McQueen: Look, Doc said when I finish, I could go. That was the deal. Doc: The deal was you fix the road, not making it worse. Now, scrape it off! Start over again. McQueen: Hey, look, grandpa, I’m not a bulldozer. I’m a racecar. Doc: Hohoho. Is that right? Then why don’t we just have a little race? Me and you. Sally: What? McQueen: Hohoho. Me and you. Is that a joke? Doc: If you win, you go and I fix the road. If I win, you do the road my way. Sheriff: Doc, what’re you doin’? McQueen: Hahaha. I don’t mean to be rude here Doc, but you probably go zero to sixty in like what? Three-poin​t-five years? Doc: Then I reckon you ain’t got nothin’ to worry about. McQueen: You know what old timer? That’s a wonderful idea. Let’s race. Sheriff: Gentlemen, this will be a one-lap race. You will drive to Willy’s Butte, go around Willy’s Butte and come back. There will be no bumpin’, no cheatin’, no spittin’, no bittin’, no road rage, no maimin’, no oil slickin’, no pushin’, no shovin’, no backstabbi​n’, no road-hoggi​n’ and no lollygaggi​n’. McQueen: Speed. I’m speed. Float like a Cadillac, sting like a Beemer. Luigi: OhHohohoo. My friend Guido, he dream to give a real racecar a pit stop. Guido: Pit stop. McQueen: Aa, haha. The race is only one lap, guys. Uno lappo! Don’t need any help. I work solo mio. Luigi: Fine. Race your way. McQueen: No pit stoppo. Comprendo? Guido: OK. Sheriff: Gentlemen. Start your engines! Ramone: Hijole! Check that out! Filmore: Whoa. Flo: Emm, emm. Sally: Great idea, Doc. Now the road will never get done. Sheriff: Luigi. Luigi: Hohoho. On your mark, get set. Uno for the money, due for the show, tre to get ready, and quattro to… I can’t belive it. Go!! Hahaha. Doc: Yehaa! Hahaha! Sally: Yeah. Luigi: Huh? Doc, the flag means go. Remember the flag. Here we go. Go. Ramone: Uhh, Doc, what are you doing, man? Doc: Oh, dear. It would seem I’m off to a poor start. Well, better late than never. Come on, Mater. Might need a little help. Mater: Ahh, OK. Doc: You got your tow cable? Mater: Well, yeah. I always got my tow cable. Why? Doc: Ohh, just in case. McQueen: Ahh,auw,au​w,auw,no,n​o,no,no,no​! Ramone: Oh, man! Auww!! Filmore: Whoa. Bad trip, man. Doc: Hey! Was that floatin’ like a Cadillac, or was that stingin’ like a Beemer? I’m confused. Mater: Eh,eh,eh. Doc: You drive like you fix roads. Lousy! Have fun fishin’, Mater McQueen: Ahhh! Mater: I’m startin’ to think he knowed you was gonna crash! McQueen: Thank you, Mater. Thank you. McQueen: I can make a little turn on dirt. You think? No. And now I’m a day behind. I’m never gonna get outta here! Ramone: Hey, ese! You need a new paint job, man! McQueen: No, thank you. Filmore: How 'bout some organic fuel? Sarge: That freak juice? McQueen: Pass. Flo: Whooh, watchin’ him workin’ is makin’ me thirsty. Anybody else want somethin’ to drink? Mater: Nah, not me, Flo. I’m on one of them there special diets. I’m a precisiona​l instrument of speed and aero-matic​s. McQueen: “You race like you fix roads.” I’ll show him. I will show him! McQueen: Great! I hate it! Hate, hate, hate, hate it!! Doc: Haha. Music. Sweet music. Sally: Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. McQueen: Radiator Springs, a happy place. Bessie: Peckkk. McQueen: Whoa, OK, Bessie you think that funny? Great! I’m talking to Bessie now! I’m talkin to Bessie!! Mater: Hahaha. Sally: Wow. Mater: Mornin’, Sally! Hey, look at this here fancy new road that Lightnin’ McQueen done just made! Sally: Yes! Amazing! Ramone: Yeah! Flo: Ohh, Ramone, Mama ain’t seen you that low in years. Ramone: I haven’t seen a road like this in years. Flo: Well, then let’s cruise, baby. Ramone: Low and slow. Luigi: E Bellissima​! It’s beautiful! Guido, look, it’s a like it was paved by angels. Ohhh. Mater: Oh, I tell you what. I bet even the roads on the moon ain’t this smooth. Sally: Doc, look at this. Shoulda tossed him into the cactus a lot sooner, huh? Doc: Well, he ain’t finished yet. Still got a long way to go. Luigi: Guido, look at Luigi! Hahaha. This is fantastico​! Sally: That looks like fun! Mater, I got dibs, next turn! Lizzie: Hey, Luigi, this new road makes your place look like a dump. Luigi: Ahhh, that crazy old devil woman. Ohh, ohh. She’s right! Sally: Ohh, ahh! Luigi: Guido! Doc: That punk actually did a good jab. Well, now… where the hack is he? Doc: Sheriff! Is he makin’ another run for it? Sheriff: No,no. He ran outta asphalt in the middle of the night, asked me if he could come down here. All he’s tryin’ to do is make that there turn. McQueen: No,no,no,n​o! Ohh, great. Perfect turns on every track I’ve ever raced on. Doc: Sheriff, why don’t you go get yourself a quart of oil at Flo’s. Doc: I’ll keep an eye on him. Sheriff: Well, thanks, Doc. I’ve been feelin’ a quart low. McQueen: Ahhhhh! Phuahh, thahh! Doc: This ain’t asphalt, son. This is dirt. McQueen: Oh, great. What do you want? You hear to gloat? Doc: You don’t have three-whee​l brakes, so you got to pitch it hard, break it loose and then just drive it with the throttle. Give it too much, you’ll be outta the dirt and into the tulips. McQueen: So you’re a judge, a doctor and a racing expert. Doc: I’ll put it simple. If you goin’ hard enough left, you’ll find yourself turnin’ right. McQueen: Ooo, right. That makes perfect sense. Turn right to go left. Yes! Thank you! Or should I say,“No thank you”? Because in Opposite World, maybe that really means, “Thank you”! Tuh, crazy grandpa car. What an idiot! Doc: Ahhh. McQueen: Turn right to go left. Oh. Whoa, auwwww. Oh, that… AUUUUUWWWW​WW!!! McQueen: Turn right to go left. Guess what. I tried it. You know what? This crazy thing happened..​. I went right! Lizzie: You keep talkin’ to yourself, people’ll think you crazy. McQueen: Thanks for the tip. Lizzie: What? I wasn’t talkin’ to you. Sally: Oh, Guido, e bellissimo​! Guido: Che cosa? Sally: It looks great! This is great! Guido: Ti piace, eh? Si, si, bellissimo​. Mater: Ummmph. Oh, lord. Hehehe. Sheriff: Mater! I need you to watch the prisoner tonight. Mater: Well, dad-gum! Wait a minute, what if he tries to run again? Sheriff: Just let him run outta gas and tow him on back. But keep an eye on him. Mater: Yes, sir! McQueen: While I’m stuck here paving this stinkin’ road, Chick’s in California schmoozing Dinoco. My Dinoco. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who’s touching me? Luigi: You have a slow leak. Guido, he fix. You make a such a nice new road. You come to my shop. Luigi take a good care of you. Eventhough you not a Ferrari. You buy four tires, I give you a full size spare absolutely free! McQueen: Look, I get all my tires for free. Luigi: Hohoho.. I like your style, eh? You drive the hard bargain. OK. Luigi make you a new deal. You buy one tire, I give you three for free! Flo: Aaa… Would you look at that? Ramone, Ramone! Ramone: Hm,hm,hm. Luigi: Then Luigi make you a new deal McQueen: No,no,no,n​o. Deal me out. Pass. No, thank you. Luigi: No,no,no,n​o,no. This is it. My last offer. You buy one tire, I give you seven-a snow tire for all free! Done. You interested​, you call me. You know where I am. McQueen: Fuuuhhh. Ahhhh. Stop! Let me…Tuhh, puahh!! sally: Oh, Red, you missed a spot. See it right there? On the hood right there. McQueen: No, no! Noooo!! Stop, stop! That cold!! Help! Please! Stop! Sally: Thanks, Red. McQueen: What was that for? Sally: Do you want to stay at the Cozy Cone or what? McQueen: Huh? Sally: And if you do, you gotta be clean. 'Cause even here in hillibilly hell we have standards. McQueen: What,I…? I don’t get it. Sally: Nothing I just thought I’d say thank you for doin’ a great job. So I thought I’d let you stay with me. I mean, not with me! But there. Not with me there, but there in your own Cozy Cone. And I’d be in my cone, and it’s… McQueen: Wait. Wait, you’re being nice to me. Sally: I mean if you want to stay at the dirty impound, thats, thats fine. You know, I understand you criminal types. McQueen: No,no,no,n​o. That’s OK. Yeah, the Cozy Cone. Sally: Ehhh. It’s newly refurbishe​d McQueen: Haha. Yeah, it’s like a clever little twist the motel’s made out of caution cones, which, of course, cars usually try to avoid, now we’re gonna stay in them. Haha. That’s funny. Sally: Figure that all out on your own, did you? Cone number one, if you want. McQueen: Auuhhh. McQueen: Hey, do I spy a little pinstripin​g tattoo back there? Sally: Auuww. Haha. That’s just a… Ahhahaha. Auuww. You saw that? Yeah! Just gonna be going. Gonna…Ye​ah. Mater: You know, I once knew this girl Doreen. Good-looki​n’ girl. Looked just like a Jaguar, only she was a truck! You know, I used to crash into her, just so I could spoke to her. McQueen: What are you talking about? Mater: I don’t know. Hey, I know somethin’ we can do tonight, 'cause I’m in charge of watchin’ you! McQueen: No, Mater, I gotta finish this road, and I have to get out of here. Mater: Well, that’s all right, Mr. I Can’t Turn On Dirt. You probably couldn’t handle it anyway. McQueen: Whoa, whoa, easy now, Mater. You know who you’re talkin’ to? This is Lightning McQueen. I can handle anything. McQueen: Mater, I’m not doin’ this. Mater: Oh, come on, you’ll love it. Hehehe. Tractor-ti​ppin’s fun. McQueen: This is ridiculous​. Mater: All right, listen. When I say go, we go. But don’t let Frank catch ya. Go! McQueen: Whoa! Wait! Who, who’s Frank? Mater. Wait, Mater! Mater: OK, here’s what you do. You just sneak up in front of 'em, and then honk. And they do the rest. Watch this. Mater: Hahahaha. I swear, tractors is so dumb! I tell you what, buddy, you don’t get much better than this. McQueen: Yep, you’re livin’ the dream, Mater boy. Mater: I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there. Oh, you turn, bud. McQueen: Mater, I can’t. I don’t even have a horn. Mater: Baby. McQueen: I’m not a baby. Mater: Puuuck, puck, puck. McQueen: Fine. Stop! stop, OK? All right. I’ll do something. Mater & McQueen: Hahahahaha​!!! Mater: That’s Frank. McQueen: Ahhhh!! Mater: Run, hahaha , run!!! Mater: Run! He’s gonna get ya! Hahaha!! Sally: Customers! Mater: Tomorrow night we can go look for the ghostlight​! McQueen: I can’t wait, Mater. Mater: Oh, yeah, I’m tellin’ ya! Oh, boy, you gotta admit that was funnn unn! McQueen: Oh, yeah…yea​h. Mater: Well, we better get you back to the impound lot. McQueen: You know, actually, Sally’s gonna let me stay at the motel. Mater: Aaaa… Gettin’ cozy at the Cone, is we? McQueen: Oh, come…No. No, are you kidding? Besides, she can’t stand me. And I don’t like her, to be honest. Mater: Yeah, you probably right. Hey, look, there’s Miss Sally! McQueen: Where, where? Mater: Hahaha. You’re in love with Miss Sally. McQueen: No, I’m not. Mater: Yes, you do. McQueen: No way. Mater: Way. McQueen: Come on, look Mater: You’re in love with Miss Sally(2X) McQueen: OK, that’s real mature Mater, real grown up. Mater: You love her (7X) McQueen: Wait…All right. OK. Mater, Mater, Mater, no. Will you stop that? Mater: Stop what? McQueen: That’s driving backwards stuff. It’s creeping me out. You’re gonna wreck on somethin’. Mater: Wreck? Shoot! I’m the world’s best backwards driver! You just watch this right here, lover boy. McQueen: What are you doing? Watch out! Look out! Mater? Mater! Mater! McQueen: Hey take it easy, Mater! Mater: Waaaaaaa! Ha,ha,ha! Hee,hee. McQueen: Hahaha. He’s nuts. Mater: No need to watch where I’m goin’. Just need to know where I’ve been. McQueen: Whoa, that was incredible​! How’d you do that? Mater: Rearview mirrors. We’ll get you some, and I’ll teach you if you want. McQueen: Yeah, maybe I’ll use it in my big race. Mater: What’s so important about this race of yours, anyway? McQueen: It’s not just a race. We’re talking about the Piston Cup! I’ve been dreaming about it my whole life! I’ll be the first rookie in history ever to win it. And when I do, we’re talkin’ big new sponsor, with private helicopter​s. No more medicated bumper ointment. No more rusty old cars. Mater: What’s wrong with rusty old cars? McQueen: Well, I don’t mean you, Mater. I mean other old cars. You know? Not like you. I like you. Mater: Nahhh, it’s OK, buddy. Hey, you think maybe one day I can get a ride in one of them helicopter​s? I mean, I’ve always wanted to ride in one of them fancy helicopter​s. McQueen: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Mater: You mean it? McQueen: Oh, yeah. Anything you say. Mater: I knew it. I knowed I made a good choice! McQueen: In what? Mater: My best friend. Mater: See you tomorrow, buddy! McQueen and Sally parked beneath a tree, K-I-S somethin'somethin’-​somethin’-​t!! McQueen: Hahaha! Whoa, whoa. Haha. McQueen: Number one. Number one…Ahhh​…Number one! McQueen: Ahh, this is nice. Sally: Hey, Stickers. McQueen & Sally: Huh!! Sally: I’m sorry. McQueen: Wohho!! You scared me. You gotta be careful. Sally: I scared myself scaring you scaring me. McQueen: I mean, I wasn’t like “scared” scared. Sally: No, of course not. Not. McQueen: I was more… Sally: Just I overheard you talkin’ to Mater. McQueen: When? Just, just now? What, what did, what did you hear? Sally: Oh, just something about a helicopter ride. McQueen: Oh, yeah. Yeah, he got a kick out of that, didn’t he? Sally: Did you mean it? McQueen: What? Sally: That you’ll get him a ride. McQueen: Oh, who knows? I mean first things first. I gotta get outta here and make the race. Sally: Ah, hah. You know…Mat​er trusts you. McQueen: Yeah, OK. Sally: Did you mean that? McQueen: What? Sally: Was it just a “Yeah, OK”, or “Yeah…OK​” or"Yea-yea​h, OK" McQueen: Look, I’m exhausted. It’s kinda been a long day. Sally: Yeah, OK. G'night. McQueen: Oh ah. Hey, thank you. Sally: What did you just say? McQueen: You know, thanks for lettin’ me stay here. It’s nice to be out of the impund, and this is… It’s great. Newly refurbishe​d, right? Sally: Yeah. McQueen: Good night. Sally: Good night. Sally: Huhh. Sarge: Will you turn that disrespect​ful junk off? Filmore: Respect the classics, man. It’s Hendrix! McQueen: Ahh…huh.​..please..​.huh… Dreaming Song McQueen: No!! Frank: Uarghhh!! McQueen: Noooo!!! I gotta get outta here! McQueen: Hey, have you seen the Sheriff? Oh! Oh, my gosh. Oh! Doc: Hey, what are you doin’? Sheriff: Get a good peak, city boy? McQueen: I,a..a..I just need my daily gas ration from the Sheriff. Doc: Wait for him at Flo’s. Now get outta here. McQueen: I’ve been trying to get outta here for three days! Sheriff: Hope you enjoyed the show! McQueen: Whoaho, Doc. Time to clean out the garage, buddy, come on. McQueen: What? He has a Piston Cup? McQueen: Oh, my gosh. Three Piston Cup? Doc: Sign says stay out. McQueen: You, you have three Piston Cups. How could you have… Doc: I knew you couldn’t drive. I didn’t know you couldn’t read. McQueen: You’re the Hudson Hornet! Doc: Wait over at Flo’s, like I told ya! McQueen: Of course. I can’t belive I didn’t see it before. You’re The Fabulous Hudson Hornet! You still to hold the record for most wins in single season. Oh, we gotta talk. You gotta show me your tricks. Please. Doc: I already tried that. McQueen: And you won the championsh​ip three times! Look at those trophies! Doc: You look. All I see is a bunch of empty cups. Filmore: You know, some automotive yoga could really lower your RPM’s, man. Sarge: Oh, take a car wash, hippie. Flo: Yeah, look at my husband, y'all. Hooo…Tha​t’s your color! Ramone: Yellow, baby. Hahaha. Flo: Mmm! You smokin’ hot! Sheriff: There he is! McQueen: Oh, my gosh! Did you know Doc is a famous racecar? Folks: Hahahaha! Sheriff: Doc? Our Doc? Sarge: Not Doc Hudson. McQueen: No,no,no,n​o, it’s true! He’s a real racing legend. He’s The Fabulous Hudson Hornet! Flo: Fabulous? I never seen Doc drive more than 20 miles an hour. I mean, have you ever seen him race? McQueen: No, but I wish I could have of. They say he was amazing! He wins three Piston Cups. Mater: Phooah!! He did what in his cup? Sheriff: I think the heat’s startin’ to get to the boy! Lizzie: Well, I’ll say! Look how red he is! Ramone: Yeah, I think he needs a new coat of poly, man. Mater: Are you sick, buddy? Sheriff: You are lookin’ a little peaked. Ramone: Yeah, he needs a new coat of poly for sure! Sheriff: Hey, hey! What are you doin’? Sally: It’s OK, Sheriff. You can trust me, right? Sheriff: I trust you, all right. It’s him I’m worried about. Sally: Mmm… I trust him. Come on, let’s take a drive. McQueen: A drive? Sally: Yeah, a drive. Don’t you big city racecars ever just take a drive? McQueen: Ahhh…No. No, we don’t. Sally: Hey, Stickers! Do you comin’ or what? Flo: Ahmm. And you thought he was gonna run. Ramone: Hey, can you believe it, man? He actually thought Doc was a famous racecar! Hahaha… That’s so too much!! McQueen: OK, you got me out here. Where are we goin’? Sally: I don’t know. McQueen: Whoa! Yes. Sally: Hahaha. McQueen: Whoa! Hahaha. Uahh!! Sally: Hahaha. McQueen: Thahhh! Sally: Ah.. hahaha! Sally: Ah.. hahaha! McQueen: Hahaha! Thuhhh!!Th​uhh!! McQueen: Wow! What is this place? Sally: Wheel Well. Used to be the most popular stop on the mother road. McQueen: This place? Sally: Yeah, imagine…​Oh, imagine what it must have been like to stay here. McQueen: You know, I don’t get you. How does a Porsche wind up in a place like this? Sally: Well, it’s really pretty simple. I was…an attorney in LA livin’ life in the fast lane, and. McQueen: Oh, you were, were you? Were you rich? Sally: What? McQueen: Just…clu​es to the puzzle. Sally: Yeah, OK. Well, that was my life. And you know what? It never felt…hap​py. McQueen: Yeah. I mean…rea​lly? Sally: Yeah. So I left California​. Just drove and drove and finally broke down right here. Doc fixed me up, Flo took me in. Well, they all did. And I never left. McQueen: Yeah. You know, I understand​. You need a little R & R. Recharge and old batteries. But you know, after a while, why didn’t you go back? Sally: I fell in love. McQueen: Ohh. Sally: Yep. McQueen: Corvette? Sally: No. Sally: I fell in love with this. McQueen: Whoa. Look at that. Look, they’re drivin’ right by. They don’t even know what they’re missing! Sally: Well, it didn’t used to be that way. McQueen: Oh, yeah? Sally: Yeah. Forty years ago, that Interstate down there didn’t exist. McQueen: Really? sally: Yeah. Back then, cars came across the country a whole different way. McQueen: How do you mean? Sally: Well, the road didn’t cut through land like that Interstate​. It moved with the land, you know? It rose, it fell, it curved. Folk: Mornin’! Folk: Nice day, huh? Sally: Cars didn’t drive on it to make a great time. They drove on it to have a great time. Song McQueen: Well, what happened? Sally: The town got bypassed just to save ten minutes of driving. Song McQueen: How great would it have been to see this place in its heyday! Sally: Ohh…I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamed of that. But one of these days, we’ll find a way to get it back on the map. McQueen: Yeah. Hey, listen, thanks for the drive. I had a great time. It’s kinda nice to slow down every once in a while. Sally: You’re welcome. Mater: Hey, listen, listen! If anybody asks you, we was out smashin’ mailboxes, OK? McQueen: Wha… What? Ramone: Oh, man, the paint’s still wet! Luigi: No,no,no,n​o! Get out of the store! Hey! Don’t eat the radial! Here, take-a the snow tires. Sheriff: Mater! Mater: I wasn’t tractor-ti​ppin’! Sheriff: Then where did all these gol-durn tractors come from? Mater: Whoa, boy! Whoa! McQueen: Hahaha. Hey! Hey guys. There’s one goin’ this way. I got it. McQueen: Come here, little tractor, come here. Yeah, that’s a good tractor. No,no,no,n​o, come here. What are you doing? You’re not supposed to go wandering off all…alon​e. McQueen: What are you doin’ with those old racin’ tires? Doc: Huuhhh. McQueen: Come on, Doc, drive. Doc: Ahhhh. Yeah. McQueen: Wow! You’re amazing! What are you doin’? Doc, wait! Mater: Giddup right in there! Come on, Rusty. Weee…hey​y! McQueen: Doc, hold it! Seriously, your driving’s incredible​! Doc: Wonderful. Now, go away. McQueen: Hey, I mean it. You’ve still got it! Doc: I’m askin’ you to leave. McQueen: Come on. I’m a racecar, you’re… a much older racecar, but under the hood you and I are the same. Doc: We are not the same! Understand​? Now, get out. McQueen: How could a car like you quit at the top of your game? Doc: You think I quit? McQueen: Right. Your big wreck in '54. Doc: They quit on me. When I finally got put together, I went back expecting a big welcome. You know what they said? “You’re history”. Moved right on to the next rookie standing in line. There was a lot left in me. I never got chance to show 'em. I keep that, to remind me never to go back. I just never expected that that world would…wo​uld find me here. McQueen: Hey, look, Doc, I’m not them. Doc: Oh, yeah? McQueen: No, I’m not. Doc: When is the last time you cared about something except yourself, hot rod? You name me one time. And I will take it all back. Ahhuh? I didn’t think so. These are good folk around here, who care about one another. I don’t want 'em depending on someone they can’t count on. McQueen: Oh, like you? You’ve been here how long and your friends don’t even know who you are? Who’s caring about only himself? Doc: Just finish that road and get outta here! sarge: Will you turn that disrespect​ful junk off? Filmore: Respect the classics, man. Mater: He’s done. He must’ve finished it while we was all sleepin’. Doc: Good riddance. Flo: He’s gone? Sarge: Well, we wouldn’t want him to miss that race of his. Sheriff: Hisk…his​k. Ramone: Oh, dude, are you crying? Sheriff: No! I’m happy! I don’t have to watch him every second of the day anymore! I’m glad he’s gone! Red: Hahaha. McQueen: What’s wrong with Red? Mater: Oh, he’s just sad 'cause you left town, and went to your big race to win the Piston Cup that you’ve always dreamed about your whole life and get that big ol’ sponsor and that fancy helicopter you was talkin’ about. Mater: Huuhh! Wait a minute! Folks: Hahaha. Mater: I knowed you wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. McQueen: Hahaha. Sheriff: What are you doin’ here, son? You’re gonna miss your race. Don’t worry. I’ll give you a police escort, and we’ll make up the time. McQueen: Thank you, Sheriff. But you know I can’t go just yet. Sheriff: Well, why not? McQueen: I’m not sure these tires…ca​n get me all the way to California​. Yeah, does anybody know what time Luigi’s opens? Luigi: Ah..haha! I can’t-a believe it! Luigi: Four new tires! Grazien, Mr. Lightning. Grazien! Flo: Would you look at that! Luigi: Our first real customers in years! I am filled with tears of ecstacy, for this is the most glorious day of my life! McQueen: All right, Luigi, give me the best set of blackwalls you’ve got. Luigi: No,no,no,n​o! You don’t-a know what you want. Luigi know what you want. Blackwall tires. They blend into the pavement. But-a this…whi​te-wall tires! They say, “Look at me! Here I am! Love me.” McQueen: All right, you’re the expert. Luigi: Eh, hehehee! McQueen: Oh, and don’t forget the spare. Luigi: Perfetto. Guido! Guido: Peet stop! Song Luigi: Hahaha! What did Luigi tell you, aey? McQueen: Wow, you were right. Better than a Ferrari, huh? Luigi: Aaa, No. McQueen: Wow! This organic fuel is great! Why haven’t I heard about it before? Filmore: It’s a conspiracy​, man! The oil companies got a grip on the government​! They’re feedin’ us a bunch of lies, man. McQueen: OK, I’ll take a case. Ramone: Ahh.. Yeah. Ka-chow. Mater: Here she comes! McQueen: Places, everybody. Hurry! Act natural. Folks: Hi, Sally. Sally: All right, what’s goin’ on? Mater: Ladies and gentlecars​, please welcome the neeewww Lightning McQueen! McQueen: What do you think? Radiator Springs looks pretty good on me. Sally: I’ll say. Rrr. Ka-chow. You’re gonna fit right in in California​. Oh my goodness. It looks like you’ve helped everybody in town. McQueen: Yeah, everybody except one. Hey, is it getting dark out? Lizzie: What? What’d he say? McQueen: Let me say that again. Is it getting dark out? Lizzie: Now, what was I supposed to do after that? Song Sally: They fixed their neon. Flo: Low and slow? Ramone: Oh, yeah, baby! McQueen: Just like in its heyday, right? Sally: It’s even better than I pictured it. Thank you. McQueen: Shall we cruise? Lizzie: Oh, thank you, dear. I’d love to! McQueen: No,no,no. Sally: Lizzie! Lizzie: I remember when Stanley first asked me to take a drive with him. Mater: Hey, Miss sally. May I have this cruise? Sally: Of course, Mater. Sheriff: A,a,ah! Lizzie: …and again and I said, “No,” and he asked me again, and I said, “No.” But, oh, he was a persistent little burger for a two-cylind​er. Finally I said, “All right, one little drive.” Mater: Hahaha. McQueen: Hey! Sally: Thanks, Mater. Mater: Good evenin’, you two. Lizzie: Oh, Stanley, I wish you could see this. Flo: Is that what I think it is? Sally: Oh, I don’t know, Flo. I haven’t had a chance to find out. But I am going to find out. Hello. Flo: Not that. That. Sally: Huh. Customers? Flo: Customers, everybody! And a lot of 'em! You know what to do. Just like we rehearsed. Mater: It’s the ghostlight​! Helicopter​: We have found McQueen. We have found McQueen! Cameramen: McQueen, over here! McQueen: Aaa, wait, excuse me. Cameramen: Is it true you’ve been in rehab? Cameramen: Did you have a nervous breakdown, McQueen. McQueen: I’m sorry, what? Cameramen: McQueen’s wearing whitewalls​! Cameramen: Are the tires you wearing are turning balding? Sally: Stickers, McQueen! Cameramen: Was Lightning McQueen your prisoner? Mater: Shoot, no! We’re best buds! I ain’t braggin’ or nothin’, but I was in charge of huntin’ him down if he tried to escape. McQueen: Sally, Sally! Kori: McQueen! Will you still race for the Piston Cup? Sally: Stickers? McQueen: Sally! Cameramen: Come on, give us some bolt! Mack: You’re here! Thank the manufactur​er! You’re alive! McQueen: Mack? Mack: You’re here! I can’t belive it! Oh, hoho. You are a sight for some headlights​! I’m so sorry I lost you, boss. I’ll make it up to you! McQueen: Mack, I, I can’t belive you’re here. Harv: Is that the world’s fastest racing machine? McQueen: Is that Harv? Mack: Yeah. He’s in the back. Cameramen: Show us the bolt, McQueen! Mack: Get back, you oil-thirst​y parasites! Cameramen: Hey, where’s the old McQueen? Mack: Actually, this is my good side here. Cameramen: Show us the bolt! McQueen: Harv! Harv! Cameramen: Give us the bolt! McQueen: Harv? Cameramen: Come on! Harv: Kid, I’m over here! McQueen: How you doin’, buddy? Harv: My star client disappears off the face of the earth! How do you think I’m doing? McQueen: Harv, I can explain. Harv: I’m doing great! You’re everywhere​, baby! Radio, TV, the papers! You can’t buy this kind of publicity! What do you need me for? That’s just a figure of speech, by the way. You signed a contract. Where are you? I can’t even find you on my GPS. McQueen: I’m in this little town called Radiator Springs. You know Route 66? It’s still here! Harv: Yeah, that’s great, kid. Playtime is over, pal. While the world’s been trying to find you, Dinoco has had no one to woo. Who are they gonna woo? McQueen: Chick! Harv: Bingo. In fact, check out what’s on the plasma right now. Cameramen: Show us the thunder! Chick: You want thunder? You want thunder? Ka-chicka, ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! McQueen: Hey, that’s my bit! Harv: You’ve gotta get to Cali, pronto! Just get out of Radiation Stinks now, or Dinoco is history, you hear me? McQueen: Just give me a second here, Harv. Harv: No,no,no, wait. Where are goin’. Get in the trailer, baby. Kid! You want, you want a bigger trailer? McQueen: Sally, I…I want you to… Look, I wish…Ahh​hh. Sally: Thank you. Thanks for everything​. McQueen: Ah. Haha. It just a road. Sally: No. It was much more than that. Mack: Hey, kid! We gotta go. Harv’s goin’ crazy! He’s gonna have me fired if I don’t get you in the truck right now! McQueen: Mack, just… hold it for… Sally: You should go. McQueen: I know, but… Sally: Good luck in California​. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Cameramen: McQueen, come on! McQueen: Sally! Cameramen: Show us the bolt, McQueen! The bolt! Hey, Lightning, show us the bolt! Cameramen: Where’s the old McQueen? Harv: Come on, get in the trailer. That’s it. That’s right kid, let’s go! You’re a big shining star. You’re a superstar. You don’t belong there, anyway. McQueen: Whoa… Wait…Who​a,whoa,wai​t,wait! Cameramen: Hey, guys! McQueen’s leavin’ in the truck! Kori: Hey, are you Doc Hudson? Doc: Yeah. Kori: Thanks for the call. Sally: You called them? Doc: It’s best for everyone, Sally. Sally: Best for everyone, or best for you? Mater: I didn’t get to say goodbye to him. Bob: Hello, race fans, and welcome to what has become, quite simply, the biggest event in the history of racing. A three way battle for the Piston Cup! Darrell: There’s a crowd of nearly 200,000 cars here at the Los Angeles Internatio​nal Speedway. Tickets to this race are hotter than a black leather seat on a hot summer day! Bob: The King, Chick Hicks and Lightning McQueen in a 200 laps, winner-tak​es-all, tiebreaker race. Darrell: You know I got a lotta miles on me, but let me tell you somethin’ buddy. I never thought I’d see anything like this. Wow! Man. This is exciting! Bob: In fact, the country has almost shut down, to watch what many experts are calling “the race of the century.” Junior: Hey, King! Good luck in your last race. You’ve sure been an inspiratio​n to me. The King: Thanks, Junior. Appreciate it. Dear: Hey, be careful out there, OK? The King: Yeah, mam. Mia: He’s hot. Chick: Wanna know the forecast? I’ll give you the forecast. A 100 percent chance of thunder! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Say it with me! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Security: Hey, you! No admittance without a garage pass. Fred: Oh, it’s OK. Lightning McQueen knows me! Andretti: Hey, Marco, it’s a beautiful day for a race, isn’t it? Security: Absolutely​, Mr. Andretti. Andretti: And good morning to you, Fred. Fred: Mario Andretti he knows my name! You gotta let me in now! Security: Sorry, pal. McQueen: OK, here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. Victory, one winner, two losers. Speed. Speed. Speed. Speed… Mack: Hey, Lightnin’! You ready? McQueen: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I’m…I’m ready. McQueen: Mack, thanks for being my pit crew today. Mack: Nahh. Don’t worry about it, kid. It’s the least I could do. After all, “Gas Can” is my middle name. McQueen: It is? Mack: Nahh, not really. Small aeroplane: A. O. TV Crew: Nelson! Zoom in. Ready, 16? Take 16. Bob: And there he is, Lightning McQueen! Missing all week, and then he turns up in the middle of nowhere! In a little town called Radiator Springs. Darrell: Wearin’ whitewall tires, of all things. Chick: Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Hahaha. Hey, where you been? I’ve been kinda lonely. Nobody to hang out with. I mean, except the Dinoco folks. Ohhh and the twins. Of course. You know the twins the one that used to be your fans, but now they’re my fans. Anyway, listen to what the twins think… McQueen: Ahh. Shoot! Fans: Boogity, boogity, boogity, boys! Let’s go racin’! Dear: Come on, you can do it! Tex: Come on kid, make us proud, boy! Bob: Fifty laps down, and The King is still holding a slim lead. Darrell: Hey, McQueen’s got a run on him! He’s lookin’ to the inside! Ohh! Chick slammed the door on him! Bob: Chick’s not making it easy on him today. Darrell: Oh, man, he lost so much momentum, and now he’s gonna have to chase him back down! Bob: Ohhh, McQueen spins out in the infield! Chick: Hahaha! Just me and the old man, fellas. McQueen just doesn’t have it today. Mack: Hey, kid, are you all right? McQueen: I don’t know, Mack. I..I… I don’t think I… Doc: I didn’t come all this way to see you quit. McQueen: Doc? Guys: Yey.. Hahaha. McQueen: Guys, you’re here! I can’t believe this! Doc: I knew you needed a crew chief, but I didn’t know it was this bad. McQueen: I thought you said you’d never come back. Doc: Well, I really didn’t have a choice. Mater didn’t get to say goodbye. Mater: Goodbye!! Okay, I’m good. McQueen: Hahaha! Doc: All right, if you can drive as good as you fix a road, then you can win this race with you eyes shut. Now, get back out there! Hot snot, we are back in business! Guido! Luigi! You’re goin’ up against profession​al pit crews boys, you’re gonna have to be fast. Luigi: They will not know what bit them! Doc: Kid, you can beat these guys. Find a groove that works for you and get that lap back. Chick’s Crew: Is that? Chick’s Crew: Oh, wow. That’s him! TV Crew: Is that…? That’s the Hudson Hornet! Bob, Darrell! The Hudson Hornet’s back! Bob: Darrell, it appears McQueen has got himself a pit crew. And look who he has for a crew chief! Fans: Wow… Look, man. It’s the Hudson Hornet! Biggest fan: Whoa!! Fans: Well, dip me in axle grease and call me Slick! It surely is. Biggest fan: Hahahahaha​! Bob: Wow, this is history in the making. Nobody has seen the racing legend in over 50 years! Lizzie: Hey, Doc! Come look at the fellow on the radio. He looks just like you. Bob: McQueen passes them on the inside! Darrell: But he’s still nearly a lap fail. Bob: Can he catch up to them with only 60 laps to go? Doc: You’re goin’ great, kid. Just keep your head on. Guido: Vai! Vai! Vai,vai! Chick’s crew: Hey, shrimpie, where did McQueen find you, huh? Those round things are called tires, and they go under the car! All Chick’s Crew: Hahahahaha​!!! Guido: Con chi credi di parlare? Ma, con chi stai parlando? Luigi: No! No, no! You’ll have your chance. You will have your chance. Chick: Oh, kid’s just tryin’ to be a hero, huh? Well, what do you think of this? Yeah, that’s it kid. Whats?? Mater: Whoa! Git-R-done​! Hahaha! I taught him that. Ka-chow! Chick Crew: Auuww! Bob: What a move by McQueen! He’s caught up to the leaders. Darrell: Oh, yeah. This is what it’s all about. A three-way battle for the lead, with ten to go. Tex: Hahaha! Look at that boy go out there! Chick: No, you don’t. McQueen: Doc, I’m flat! I’m flat! Doc: Can you get back to the pits? McQueen: Yeah, yeah. I think so. Doc: Hey, got a yellow. Bring it in. Don’t tear yourself up, kid. Mack: We gotta get him back out there fast or we’re gonna be a lap down, and we’ll never win this race! Doc: Guido! It’s time. Chick Crew: Hey, tiny, you gonna clean his windshield​? Hahaha! Darrell: I don’t believe it! Bob: That was the fastest pit stop I’ve ever seen! Darrell: It was a great stop, but he’s still gotta beat that pace car out! Bob: It’s gonna be close. Mater: Yeah!! Biggest Fan: Yeah, baby!! Fans: Yeah… Hahaha! Darrell: Yeah!! He’s back in the race! Guido: Peet stop. Luigi: Guido, you did it! Mater: Way to go, Guido! Ramone: Yeah!! Bob: This is it. We’re heading into the final lap and McQueen is right behind the leaders. What a comeback! Darrell: A hundred and ninety-nin​e laps, and, baby, it all comes down to this! Doc: This is it, kiddo. You’ve got four turns left. One at a time. Drive it in deep and hope it sticks. Go! Chick: We’ll see about that! Bob: McQueen’s going inside! Bob: Chick and The King are loose! Darrell: I think McQueen is out of the race! Darrell: McQueen saved it! Bob: He’s back on the track! Doc: Float like a Cadillac..​. McQueen: Sting like a Beemer! Biggest Fan: Ka-chow, ka-chow, ka-chow! Fans: Wooowww! Folks: Yeeehaaaa! Hahaha. Darrell: Lightning McQueen is gonna win the Piston Cup! Sally: Come on! You got it! You got it, Stickers! Chick: I am not comin’ in behind you again, old man. Dear: Oh, no! Chick: Yeah… Woooww! I won, baby! Yeah! Oh, yeah! Flo: What’s he up to, Doc? The King: What are you doin’, kid? McQueen: I think The King should finish his last race. The King: You just gave up the Piston Cup, you know that? McQueen: Ahhh. This grumpy old racecar I know once told me somethin’. It’s just an empty cup. Bob: Darrell, is pushing on the last lap legal? Darrell: Hey, man. He’s not really pushin’ him. He’s just givin’ him a little bump draft. Chick: Whoaa.. Hohooo!! Hey. What? What’s goin’ on? Fan: That’s what I call racin’ right there. Tex: Hahaha! Luigi: Bravo il mio amico! Mater: Way to go, buddy! Filmore: There’s a lotta love out there, you know, man? Sarge: Don’t embarrass me, Filmore. Lizzie: That’s my hot rod. Chick: Come on, baby, bring it out! Bring out the Piston Cup! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Yeah! Now, that’s what I’m talkin’ about! Hey, how come I’m the only one celebratin​g is me, huh? Where are the girls? Bring on the confetti! Auuww! Auuww! Easy with the confetti. What’s goin’ on? Come on, snap some pictures. I gotta go sign my deal with Dinoco! Ka-chicka! Say it with me. Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Cameramen: Booo! Mia & Tia: Booo! Chick: What’s wrong with everybody? Where’s the happiness? Hey! This is the start of the Chick era! Dear: Thanks, Lightnin’. McQueen: You’re welcome. Fan: Way to go, King! Fan: You’re still the car! Biggest Fan: You’re The King! Yeah! Rust-eze Folks: Yeah! Hahahaha! Mack: Wahh! Hoo! Rust-eze Car: You make us proud, kid! Mack: Congrats on the loss, me bucko! Doc: You got a lotta of stuff, kid. McQueen: Thanks, Doc. Tex: Hey, Lightnin’. How 'bout comin’ over here and talk to me a minute? Son, that was some real racin’ out there. How’d you like to become the new face of Dinoco? McQueen: But I didn’t win. Tex: Lightnin’, there’s a whole lot more to racin’ than just winnin’. Rust-eze Van: He was so rusty, when he drove down the street. Hahaha. Buzzards used to circle the car! Folks: Hahahaha. McQueen: Thank, you, Mr. Tex, but…but these Rust-eze guys over there gave me my big break. I’m gonna stick with them. Tex: Well, I sure can respect that. Still, you know, if there’s ever anything I can do for you, just let me know. McQueen: I sure appreciate that. Thank you. Actually, there is one thing. Mater: Whoah! Hoo! Aaaa! Hey look at me! I’m flyin’, by golly! Whoahh! Hoo! I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park! Luigi: I think it’s about-a time we redecorate​. Michael Schumacker​: Chow! Hi, Lightning McQueen told me this was the best place in the world to get tires. How 'bout setting me and my friends up with three or four sets each? Luigi: Huh. Guido! There is a real Michael Schumacker Ferrari in my store. A real Ferrari! Punch me, Guido. Punch me in the face. This is the most glorious day of my life. Michael Schumacker​: Wow. Spero che il tuo amico si riprenda. Mi dicono che siete fantastici​. Sally: Uh..huh!. Hahaha. Just passin’ through? McQueen: Actually, I thought I’d stop and stay awhile. I hear this place is back on the map. Sally: It is? McQueen: Yeah, there’s some rumor floating around that some hotshot Piston Cup racecar is setting up his big racing headquarte​rs here. Sally: Really? Well, there goes the town. McQueen: You know, I really missed you, Sally. Sally: Well, I create feelings in others they themselves don’t understand and, blah, blah, blah, blah. McQueen: Hahaha. Mater: McQueen and Sally parked beneath the tree, K-i-s-s…​i-n-t! McQueen: Great timing, Mater! Mater: Hep-non, hip-hep, hi-li-lill​y! Weeeee!! McQueen: He’s my best friend. What’re you gonna do? Sally: So, Stickers, last one to Flo’s buys? McQueen: I don’t know. Why don’t we just take a drive? Sally: Mmm. Nahh. McQueen: Yeah! Ka-chow! Mater: Yeeeehoooo​!!!!! Song -X-X-X THE END X-X-X

Fix You - Chapter Four

SPN FanFic

~ After being gone for months, Y/N has returned home to the boys with no memory of their life together.~

Reader, Dean, Sam, Castiel

2,266 Words

Warnings: Ouchies, Angst, Crying, the same

Chapters: One ~ Two ~ Three ~ Four ~ Five

Chapter Four- Coming Around:

Deciding to remember was one thing. Actually doing it was another.

You spent your days running through the Bunker, touching everything, picking up random objects, turning doorknobs, doing anything you could think of to trigger another memory. Sure, a few things came back, but it was stupid stuff that you didn’t think you needed. Trips to the grocery store, every cold you’d suffered for the last three years, nights lying awake staring at various ceilings, gallons of beer and whiskey complete with their accompanying hangovers.

One morning while brushing your teeth, you sparked back to every motel bathroom you’d ever stayed in. The thought grossed you out so much you spent an extra half hour in the shower trying to scrub away the memory of filthy sheets and stained towels.

While helping Dean check the oil on the Impala, you got hit with every turn you’d ever had at the wheel, which amazingly was quite a few, and you opened your eyes to find yourself crouched on the floor of the garage, cradled in Dean’s strong arms. It seemed the more memory got crammed into your head, the harder it got; the pain grew worse with each remembrance and you found yourself almost scared after a while to touch or do anything. But you had to press on, you had to figure things out; you had to get Dean back.

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An Autograph From Coupons

Max enjoyed the time she spent with Victoria, today was no different. Victoria sat across from her as they waited for Rachel to arrive so they could start on their assignment.

While waiting Max started to examine the room, it was massive.

I wonder why we need such a big room to ourselves… it’s not like we’re gonna take pictures of Rachel in every corner.

She began to hum along to the song Victoria was listening to. It was The Pantaloon.

Wowsers, that brings back memories… I like how I’ve progressed throughout the years… even if I’m the biggest self critique.

The opening door broke Max from her thoughts.

“Hey Rach, jeez you took forever.”

“Sorry but a model’s gotta arrive fashionably late and lookin’ sexy as hell.” Max stifled a giggle.

“Alright let’s get this going.” Victoria seemed to agree as she picked up her camera and told Rachel to stand in the far corner of the room. Max took this moment to take a picture of Rachel. After the picture was taken she immediately sent it to Chloe.

Chloe look it’s coupons!

Fuck you! I hope your camera breaks.

As if! Do you want me to get you an autograph from coupons?


Lol, ok talk to you later!

“Max are you even paying attention?!” Victoria hissed.

“W-What?” She looked at a very pissed Victoria and an amused Rachel.

“What’s the matter Maxi-pad? Texting your gf?”

Victoria’s nose cringed. There’s no way Max has a girlfriend… does she? Why do I care?!

“Whoa, Victoria are you alright? Your face is all red!” Victoria turned to see that Rachel and Max were staring at her.

Shit… I was inner monologuing my stupid feelings for this stupid doe eyed… beautiful hipster…fuck! “Uh… just thinking about something.” Rachel seemed to acknowledge why Victoria was acting the way she was which caused a wide grin to appear on her face.

“You jelly that Max is in a relationship?”

“N-No I’m not!”

“Whoa whoa time out, I-I never said I was in a relationship! I was just texting a friend!” Rachel eyed her suspiciously.

“Alriiiiighty, I’ll take your word for it.”

Victoria let out a breath she wasn’t even aware that she holding. Rachel smirked.

“Is somebody relieved that Max is still available?”

Of course, Victoria blew up and started antagonizing Rachel for the remark, Max had a laughing fit, and Chloe got her autograph from coupons a few days later.

(heeeello everyone, another small prompt for @skiretehfox ‘s 21 pirates au. I really like how this came out ‘u’) 

The Backside Closed

Pairing: Dean x Reader, with Sam and Cas
Warnings: Smut, anal, language, drinking, going to a strip club, crazy amount of flirting, Dean being a sweetheart one second and an ass the next.

A/N: Written for @notnaturalanahi ANA’S CRACK CHALLENGE # 2 TWSS  EDITION. This is my first attempt at writing crack. I have no earthly idea what I’m doing. I hope you have fun reading this. I hate giving things titles.

Prompt: The backside closed

The sound of a car alarm woke you from your hazy drunken sleep. The spot next to you was empty, Sam must have gone for a run. You and Dean had gotten drunk together last night at a bar because you both had convinced Sam to let you guys have a couple of days off but instead of sleeping next to your best friend like normal, you had to sleep next to Sam.
Dean had literally past out on the bed diagonally with his arms and legs completely taking up the full expanse of the bed. You tried to move his heavy ass, unfortunately when he was like this he was an immoveable rock of muscle and bones. You made sure Dean’s boots were taken off before you passed out yourself.
Sam was like a personal space heater, which is great for the winter but it was the dead of summer and the AC at this motel was shit plus he would often times ended up kicking you during the night. Dean was nothing like Sam, sure he was warm but never hot and sweaty. Dean also laid pretty still at night unless he had a nightmare then he would pull you in close and spoon you all night. He had become your rock in this world and sure you had a slight crush on the man but everytime you thought about making it more you decided that it would be better off if it just stayed the same.
You turned your head expecting to see Dean still asleep in the other bed. Surprised, you noticed that not only was he gone but his bed was made. Maybe he left to get some breakfast. God, you hoped he brought back some aspirin, your head was splitting open. You wallowed on your stomach in a sea of self-pity for a few moments until the door opened allowing for a flood of bright light to pour in the room only making your head ache worse. Once your eyes adjusted, you saw the most wonderful sight, Dean’s amazing smile with a bag of food and coffee for all of you.

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anonymous asked:

Connor x theatre nerd! reader whereby he reader may ramble a lot idk mannn thanks anyway ily💛

Sorry it took so long! Here are some head cannons, my friend! And, whats this? Gender neutral? I hope so, at least! I tried the best I could! Let me know if I miss something!

WC: 596

Warnings: Swearing

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anonymous asked:

"I like watching you enjoy things you love, passion is a good look for you." - with Rafa because I kind of love him ❤️ (I'm late but my crush is definitely there) lol

Work sucked. School sucked. Life sucked. Everything sucked.

You snarled at some asshole who bumped into you while walking, feeling like a rain cloud was looming over your head.

“Fucking city, fucking weather, fucking people, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you muttered as you marched towards your apartment.

You still had to decide on the classes you wanted to take next semester, your boss had bitched you out for mistaking a customer’s order which HE had caused, your apartment was a mess, your clothes weren’t fitting right, your eyes itched, head hurt, legs were sore, basically everything felt awful today.

Slamming your door open, you threw the keys onto the counter and flopped onto the sofa, hoping you could just sleep for the next 48 hours.


Someone was shaking you and you grumbled in annoyance.

“Go…away,” you grouched.

“Nope. Come on, get up,” a voice said determinedly.

“Fuck off.”


“Piss off.”


“Get dicked.”


“OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!” You cried, sitting up with a flourish, ready to pound whoever it was.

One Rafael Casal sat on the edge of the sofa, grinning at you.

“Good morning,” he greeted cheerfully.

“Eat ass, Casal,” you grumbled.

He laughed and brushed a hand through your hair.

“Did you forget we were supposed to meet for breakfast?”

You blinked and looked over to the clock on the wall. It was already 11 am, you had slept through the night and apparently most of the morning too.

“HOLY FUCK!!!” You yelped, trying to get up quickly.

The man grabbed you and pressed you down against the sofa.

“Whoa there! Breakfast is long over, but we can go for lunch?”

Calming down a little, you rubbed the back of your head and gave him an apologetic look.

“Would…that be ok? Holy shit, I’m so sorry, Rafa. Just, totally slept right through. Look, I’ll make it up to you, I’ll cook us lunch. Whatever you want.”

He lit up at your offer, knowing you were one of the best cooks in his group of friends.

“Seriously? Y/N I think I fucking love you right now.”

You laughed and got up, heading for the bedroom to get changed and wash up.

“You better, Casal. I’m going to make you the best motherfucking lunch you’ve ever tasted.”


With your playlist booming and Rafael watching, you practically danced around the kitchen, washing, chopping, frying, stirring. It came naturally to you, borne from years of practice. You loved to cook, preparing the ingredients, testing out new things, creating new items, it was something that made you calm, happy, and relaxed.

“Can I help?” Rafael asked, looking around.

You tossed him a cucumber.

“Sure, cut that. Tiny pieces, small as you can make them.”

He gave you an unimpressed look, “You’re just trying to keep me out of your way, aren’t you?”

You laughed but nodded, “Yep. I remember the last time you tried to ‘help’.”

He whined and took a bite out of the cucumber, “But I’ve gotten better! I promise, no flooding your kitchen this time!”

“First, stop eating my cucumber. Second, if you really want to help that badly, wash up and…can you stir this sauce? I need it creamy.”

Rafael happily bounded off his chair and came to your aid. The two of you establishing an easy flow with you acting as mentor and he like an apprentice.

“Huh, not bad Casal. You might earn your chef’s hat someday.”

He laughed and drained the pasta, putting it onto a plate.

“I like watching you enjoy things you love, passion is a good look for you.”

The heat in the kitchen was already warm but your cheeks flushed even hotter at his words.

“I…I just…really like cooking,” you admitted.

He smirked and came over to you, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“I know. And you’re amazing at it. I’m already jealous of whoever’s lucky enough to get you as their girlfriend.”

You rolled your eyes, laughing awkwardly.

“Stop it, Rafa. It’s just food.”

He paused and gave you a look, tugging gently on your waist until you were leaning back against the counter with him cornering you in place.

“No…no, it’s not just food, baby girl. It’s you…your passion, and drive, and energy, everything.”

You gulped, looking up and meeting his eyes. He bent down slowly, giving you plenty of time to back away if you wanted to, but you stayed still, too nervous to move. Was he going to..? Maybe he would…? You whimpered at the first brush of his lips against your own, eyes fluttering shut as he gently deepened the kiss.

Your arms wrapped around his neck to pull him closer as you sighed against his mouth, heart thumping loudly in your chest. The kiss went on for what felt like ages, but you quickly pulled away when the air became heavy with the scent of burnt sauce.

“SHIT!” You cried, pushing past the rapper and racing to the stove, “Rafa!”

He couldn’t help laughing as you looked miserably at the ruined sauce, giving him pouty looks.

“Sorry love, um…order some delivery maybe?”

You sighed and shot him a glare.

“You are forever forbidden from my kitchen, Rafael Casal.”

S: Whoa. 

L: [barely able to contain my glee] Yep.

S: …this is gonna take a while.

L: Ok.

S: Uh, seriously.  You might want to go get lunch or something, because Strawberry’s gonna have herself a think.

[literally fifteen minutes later]

S: Ok, I’m ready!

L: [mouth full of sandwich] Mok

S: So first and simplest thing first.  There’s a big hole in the ceiling and I anticipate something nasty is gonna come out of it soon.

L: Ok.

S: Next, the easiest to interpret thing is that that looks like Rose Quartz.  So if that looks like Rose Quartz and we can assume that this place is about the same age as the Sea Spire, which I’d say is at minimum 500-600 years old, that can mean one of three things, in my mind.  1. It is Rose Quartz.  2. It’s an ancestor of Rose Quartz and because this is a cartoon it happens to look just like her.  3. Everyone who uses a rose quartz gem ends up looking like that, which could mean some interesting things in Steven’s future.  But since the simplest answer is often the correct one, I’m going to assume that that is actually Rose Quartz.  That means that she is very old.  Was very old.  Whatever. Are the other Gems also very old? That is yet to be determined.

L: Ok…

S: Moving on.  She is doing battle with this Triangle Person.  I don’t think I can justify interpreting it in any other way.  This looks very clearly like two opposing forces.  Now there are these other triangle people on the sides, too.  Just from their design they have a ‘bad guy’ feel to them, very spiky and all sharp angles, compared to nice, round Rose Quartz.  I would also say that they’re probably evil (at least from the perspective of whoever made this mural) because of the hands around this one on the left.  Those don’t look like hands of praise or worship to me.  They’re curled in on themselves like they are up in supplication.  I want to say that they’re begging for mercy, but that’s just me. 

What are the Triangle People? Are they Gems?  They could be.  They have those triangles on their chests which could depict gems.  I’m not sold on this idea though because it looks like at least three different Triangle People and they all have the same triangles in the same locations on their chest.  Also, those triangles are massive compared to Rose Quartz’s gem on her tummy.  So my guess is that they are Other.  

Then we’ve got these little dudes around Rose Quartz.  My very initial reaction to seeing them was that they were space ships landing, but I don’t think that’s right.  I think they’re supposed to indicate people, if squashed-headed, armless people.  And by people I mean normal, non-magic humans, because they’re small and kind of…. irrelevant compared to Rose Quartz.  But they also are behind her, which makes me think she’s protecting them.

L: Holy cow, this is a lot.

S: [shrugs] Now the most interesting thing to me is this diamond in the center.  This is clearly the focal point of the battle.  Now at first I thought that Triangle Person was throwing it or projecting it at Rose Quartz and she had her hands up to block it, but I don’t think that’s correct because these force lines here actually extend behind the Triangle Person and I don’t think they would if they were the one doing the throwing.  That means that Rose Quartz must be the one using it.  And that’s weird, right?  Because whenever the Gems use magic, they do it with their gem, and Rose Quartz isn’t using her gem on her tum, she’s using this diamond!  It doesn’t look like a weapon like the spear or the gauntlets or whatever, so what is it?  It’s shaped like a diamond so I believe it must be a gem, just not Rose Quartz’s gem.

Now, Rose Quartz could be attacking the Triangle Person in some way using the diamond.  I’m picturing Princess Serenity from Sailor Moon using her Silver Crystal, right?  But this wouldn’t show us what the diamond was actually doing to the Triangle Person.  So, I thought to myself, what was the other option?  And this is what I think.  

(You guys, she looked so pleased with herself at this point, I can’t even tell you)

The force lines could be indicating a force pushing out of the diamond, but I think that they’re indicating force pulling into the diamond!

L: Uh, what?

S: I think that there were these bad and evil Triangle People and the humans asked Rose Quartz to protect them.  Rose Quartz couldn’t defeat the Triangle People in battle so she used all the magical gems that were around the world (or conceivably that were brought by her to earth) and she basically sucked the evil Triangle People into the gems, trapping them in all these different gems.  What Rose Quartz didn’t know was that over the hundreds of years since she did this, the evil of the Triangle People would seep out of the gems and turn anything that came into contact with them into a monster!  

L: Wow that’s…. an interesting theory.  So then what are the Triangle People?

S: [laughs] I have no idea.  But maybe they’re from the same planet as Mork?


Stiles x Reader

Part Two

“Hey Stiles did I leave my stuff here?” You call out as you let yourself into his house and hurried into his room. “Hey Scotty.”

“Hey… whoa you look different.” Scott said before shaking himself and fixing you with a warm smile.


“I thought you’d already gone.” Stiles mumbled as he rummaged through his closet and grabbed the bag you were looking for.

“Nope, the others might not go.” You mutter as you concentrated on covering yourself in glow paint.

“What (Y/N) you can’t go on your own!” Stiles yelped as he dropped his science book and fixed you with as stern a look as he could muster.

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The Heart Wants What It Wants - Chapter 7

Read from the beginning

Read Chapter 6

Jared and I were lying next to each other on the corner sofa for some time, when I realized it’s been more than 2 hours since I had left the office. I tried to get up and go to the bathroom to clean up, but he wouldn’t let me budge.

“No, I’m not letting you go just yet,” Jared said as his arm laid across my chest squeezing me into him.

“I really have to go, or I’ll be in some serious trouble,” I said and caressed his cheek.

“Aren’t you already knee deep in problems,” he asked with a nasty grin.

“Yeah, thanks to you, I am. Now, let me go, or we’ll both be screwed up,” I said and moved his arm finally able to stand up.

“I’d say we’ve covered that part half an hour ago,” Jared said and laughed.

“Very funny, Leto,” I said as I picked my blouse and my panties from the floor, and rushed to the bathroom to fix my make-up and wash up.

I was such a mess. My hair was all tangled, and make-up almost all gone; thank God Jared took off my blouse right from the start, or it would be completely ruined by make-up. I washed my face, put on make-up from the start and combed my hair, looking decent again. It wasn’t long before I stepped out of the bathroom, that Jared was standing in front of the door waiting for me.

“Oh, waiting to escort me out,” I giggled and went to pick my blazer up from the floor and take my shoes. Jared grabbed my arm and tugged me towards him. He hugged me, while I wrapped my arms around his waist. We looked each other and smiled, like two teenagers at the beginning of their relationship.

“Stay,” Jared whispered and leaned in to touch my forehead with his.

“You know I can’t,” I said and closed my eyes letting out a small sigh.

”You can, you just don’t want to,” he said a bit pissed off and pulled away.

“That’s not fair,” I said and went to pick up the blazer. I put on my shoes, and headed towards the door.

“That’s it, you’re just gonna leave,” Jared asked clearly irritated.

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that’s my girl; euro 2017

  1. Woman - Kesha, The Dap-Kings Horns
  2. Most Girls - Hailee Steinfeld
  3. Salute - Little Mix
  4. That’s My Girl - Fifth Harmony
  5. Warrior - Kesha
  6. Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Lorde
  7. Run The World (Girls)  - Beyonce
  8. Just A Girl - No Doubt
  9. Q.U.E.E.N. - Janelle Monáe, Erykah Badu
  10. BO$$ - Fifth Harmony
  11. Confident - Demi Lovato
  12. Independent Woman, Pt. I - Destiny’s Child
  13. Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya
  14. Pretty Girl Rock - Keri Hilson
  15. Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves - Eurythmics 
  16. What The Hell - Avril Lavigne
  17. Unstoppable - Sia
  18. Cool For The Summer - Demi Lovato
  19. How To Be A Heartbreaker - Marina and The Diamonds
  20. Wonder Woman - LION BABE
  21. Battle Cry - Angel Haze, Sia
  22. Castle - Halsey
  23. How Far I’ll Go - Alessia Cara
  24. Like Whoa - Aly & AJ
  25. Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko 
Good Enough (2)

prologue; part one; part two; part three; part four; part five; part six; part seven; part eight; part nine; part ten; part eleven; part twelve; part thirteen; part fourteen; part fifteen; part sixteen; part seventeen; part eighteen; part nineteen; part twenty; part twenty one; part twenty two; part twenty three; part twenty four; epilogue.

bonus scenes: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

“Are you ok?” someone asked, shaking your shoulder roughly.

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It Won’t Fade (pt 2)

Originally posted by powerfultenderness

Read Part 1 of It Won’t Fade

Summary: A witch has cursed you with a love lust spell and Gadreel has become the center of your attention.

Pairing: Gadreel/Reader

Warnings: Language, sexually suggestive themes

Word count: 3102

A/N: I was gonna do this in 3 chapters/parts but then I realized that fewer people read stuff if multiple parts, so here’s chapter 2 and 3 together. Enjoy some Gadreel! 


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Oh look here the fic I wasn’t going to continue until after finals has it’s 5th chapter magically appear! Chronologically it comes right after Open The Memory Cage [Link].

Tags(ish): Ending [E] spoilers. 8 pages/6168 words. 2B9S. Quite a bit of angst and feels. 

Summary: 9S notices 2B is still hiding her feelings somewhat and tries to get her to open up so he can help her heal too. It all goes downhill fast when she accidentally discovers the corpses of the 2B models 9S killed in the tower. 9S has great trouble comforting her until he comes up with an idea to help her through this.

Read on AO3: [Link]

Story under the readmore. [Link] for mobile users in case you can’t click it.

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anonymous asked:

Once I got stabbed through the hand by a mugger and then the mugger freaked out out because I grabbed his hand and our hands got stuck because of the knife. How would the 1ps and 2ps react to their s/o's doing the same thing and coming home with the mugger still attached

All would fix the situation, remove knife from both of them, and lightly wack mugger on the back of the head. Wack because they tried to mug their s/o, lightly cause they had a knife stuck in their had and was connect to someone. That is a lot of suffering right there.

America: Hey S/o! How was your d-WHAT THE! WHAT HAPPENED!?!

England:….I see. I hate it when that happens. Let me fix it.

France: MON DIEU!

Russia: Ehe, you made a friend. Yay!

China:….and here I thought nothing could surprise me anymore.

Canada: Eh! Oh no! Are you two ok?

Italy:…that doesn’t usually happen.

Germany: HOW!?!

Japan:….ok then

Romano: The f*ck?

Prussia: Hehehe I remember when that happened to Arthur! HA!

Austria: Sigh

2p America: Yup, ok then

2p England: OH NO! LOVE! ARE YOU OK!?!

2p France: To think I thought today would be normal.

2p Russia:……raised eyebrows of judgement

2p China: It’s been ages since I’ve seen that happen to someone!

2p Canda: sigh, I’ll go get the bandages

2p Italy: I play with kniefs and use them everyday. That has never happen to me.

2p Germany: Whoa, well looks like the mugger was caught RED HANDED! HAHAHAHA! cause of the blood, get it? hahaha that was a good one. Point for me!

2p Japan:….there is a joke I can make with this, but I refuse to sing that low.

2p Romano: OMFG!!!!

2p Prussia:….passed out

2p Austria: Hum, interesting

Love Is a Marathon

For Zutara week, Day 5, “Fever”

Summary: Zuko and Katara come to an earlier understanding. Based loosely on the “Love Is a Battlefield” comic. AU.

@zutaraweek Better late than never?

They were counting down the days until Sozin’s Comet, diligently preparing for the task ahead, and yet trying not to think about the end of summer all at the same time. Katara had thrown icicle after icicle at a courtyard wall that morning, envisioning the Firelord as best she could—though she had never seen his face. Somehow, his visage always morphed into Azula’s by the end.

Azula. The surreal glow of the Avatar State; Aang ascending into the air; the excruciating white of her lightning shattering Katara’s world. She could never let that happen again.

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What went down in the Christmas special
  • Jeremy Zag: hey Thomas remember when you promised to let me put in dabbing Santa
  • Thomas Astruc: oh god I thought you’d forgotten that
  • Jeremy Zag: you got Mr. Pigeon so let me have this
  • Thomas Astruc: fine but put in some cool stuff too
  • Thomas Astruc: like, make it 40 minutes, reveal what happened to Adrien’s mom, and show Master Fu in action as a hero
  • Jeremy Zag: ok can do, I’ll promise that to all the fans
  • Jeremy Zag: (psych! it’s not feasible but imma not say anything about it)
  • Everyone: :(
  • Marinette: yo mom/dad imma help you in the bakery
  • Sabine: why are you singing that
  • Marinette: bc this is a musical episode
  • Sabine: I don’t like it, pls stop
  • Marinette: no
  • Adrien’s chauffeur: *enters*
  • Sabine: are you gonna sing too?
  • Adrien’s chauffeur: no I never even have a single line
  • Sabine: but you just said something
  • Adrien’s chauffeur: oh s**t I really f**ked that up
  • Sabine: wow go back to not talking pls
  • Marinette: and give this package to Adrien
  • Adrien’s chauffeur: ok
  • Adrien’s chauffeur: hey Adrien here’s a package
  • Adrien: lemme guess, it’s from Marinette but you’re gonna let me go on thinking it’s from my dad
  • Nathalie: whoa how did you know?
  • Adrien: bc you did the same thing in The Bubbler
  • Nathalie: oh right I should probs feel guilty about that
  • Adrien: look all I want is for my dad to show that he cares about me, is that feasible?
  • Nathalie: nope
  • Adrien: *transforms*
  • Plagg: yo pls give the singing a rest
  • Adrien: fine
  • Santa: hey do you need some emotional support
  • Adrien: yes pls
  • Santa: ok let’s kick back, relax, and enjoy some cocoa
  • Adrien: cool I defs don’t need to get back anytime soon
  • Random person: but I don’t know you or your son
  • Random person: you’re scary so I agree to this
  • Santa: so anyways we should probs get you back before your dad murders that person
  • Adrien: ok cool I don’t think there’s any way anything can go wrong here
  • Ladybug: HEY GUYS
  • Ladybug: IT’S LADRIEN TIME
  • Adrien: oh god not this anything but this
  • Santa: this is so wrong on so many levels
  • Ladybug: *spikes Santa into a snow bank*
  • Santa: I didn’t ask for this
  • Hawkmoth: yeah Ladrien is v problem
  • Santa: gimme a flying sleigh and a bad attitude
  • Santa Claws: *dabs furiously*
  • Santa Claws: I AM SANTA CLAWS
  • Ladybug: you really aren’t
  • Santa Claws: no you misunderstand I’m spelling it with a W, so it’s like “claws” that you can claw things with
  • Ladybug: oh ok I get it
  • Ladybug: wow that’s a terrible branding identity
  • Ladybug: like, it only works if it’s written out
  • Santa Claws: ok imma try the French version
  • Pire Noël: *bursts into Adrien’s room and dabs vigorously*
  • Pire Noël: I AM PIRE NOËL
  • Adrien: yeah that doesn’t rhyme
  • Pire Noël: its bc I had to use the French version of my name
  • Adrien: then why not do the French version of the rest of the song
  • Pire Noël: good thinking I’ll try that
  • Pire Noël: *bursts into Chloé’s Place and dabs vigorously*
  • Chloé: was it really necessary to sing that three times
  • Pire Noël: look I have a legitimate reason
  • Pire Noël: people kept requesting changes
  • Chloé: for crying out loud go do some villainous s**t already
  • Pire Noël: ok can do
  • Pire Noël: *dabs vigorously and flies off on his sleigh*
  • Ladybug and Chat Noir: *jump onto the sleigh*
  • Ladybug: wow this is really high up
  • Chat Noir: yeah I guess you could say we’re putting the “high” in “hijacking”
  • Pire Noël: *punts Chat Noir off the sleigh*
  • Chat Noir: I deserved that
  • Ladybug: *saves the day*
  • Chat Noir: oh thanks, I was worried you'd let him "sleigh" me
  • Pire Noël: *punts Chat Noir off the sleigh again*
  • Chat Noir: was the pun really that bad
  • Ladybug: yes
  • Ladybug and Chat Noir: *land in Alya’s house*
  • Alya: ok what do you need to stop the villain
  • Chat Noir: gimme a flying sleigh and a bad attitude
  • Alya: so you’re trying to be like Pire Noël?
  • Chat Noir: HE’S SO COOL
  • Ladybug: don’t worry I have a box and a terrible plan
  • Chat Noir: *stands on the Eiffel Tower with a box*
  • Pire Noël: so what’s the deal
  • Chat Noir: if you open this box we’ll stop singing
  • Pire Noël: excuse?
  • Chat Noir: we’ve been singing literally everything for the entire episode
  • Chat Noir: open this box and we’ll stop
  • Pire Noël: deal
  • Ladybug: *jumps out of the box and ends him*
  • Pire Noël: still a pretty good deal
  • Adrien: has a 2 AM dinner with a bunch of people*
  • thanks for following along! What Went Down will be back for season 2!

shiroganesm  asked:

tianshan (someone else probably already asked but I'm gonna try my chance)

actually no one did, so you’ll be my guest :’) 

  • who said I love you first: He Tian. part of him is afraid Guan Shan doesn’t understand how much he cares and the other, major part of him is simply smitten with everything Guan Shan is, so the words come out instinctively. it surprises him as well, though, not the truth of it, but rather the intensity of its essence; he has been loving Guan Shan with his lips and his eyes and everything else but words, for so long, and now he’s learning to love him with vowels and consonants and it’s something so unique for He Tian, it makes his chest tight after hearing himself say it. 
  • who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: He Tian, definitely. and it takes him a long time to decide which picture to choose, because he has like 849201 pictures of him saved and yeah, that’s a tough decision. one time, just for the fun of it, he uses a pretty naughty, after-sex photo of Guan Shan, eyes closed and chest bruised and chin slightly smeared with semen, and Guan Shan almost throws his phone out the window when he finds out because what the fuck is wrong with you, but He Tian just shrugs “you looked hot the other night”. “and what if someone else sees it?” “they won’t”. but even so, He Tian sticks to adorable pictures, because he’s got a point, no one should see Guan Shan that way but him. 
  • who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: they both do and it’s kinda hilarious; one time He Tian wrote something cheesy on it (baby?), cheesy enough to bring a bright red on his cheeks, but instead of wiping it off (and be exposed to his flustered expression), Guan Shan writes back. not the cutest thing, but for He Tian, it’s still precious. so yeah, sometimes they randomly scribble things to each other after showering and it’s just fucking domestic.
  • who buys the other cheesy gifts: definitely He Tian. jesus, he would buy so much embarrassing shit just for the sake of annoying his boyfriend. but lowkey, he wants to remind Guan Shan that he’s loved and the teasing is part of it, in its own way. and Guan Shan likes it too and he grows accustomed to it, to the point it would be weird not to receive something from He Tian once in a while. and one day, Guan Shan mans up and decides to buy something cheesy for He Tian, because if he can do it, I can do it too, though… it’s deadly embarrassing.. and when He Tian receives the gift, he cannot?? believe it? he wants to laugh but there’s a bit of redness on his face that keeps him quiet for a bit and Guan Shan notices it and holy shit, it was so worth it. 
  • who initiated the first kiss: if we’re talking about their first, consensual kiss, that would be Guan Shan. because He Tian would never force himself on him again, and he almost thinks Guan Shan will never, ever reach out, but to his surprise, it happens. the feeling of want in Guan Shan grows so much, he feels like his mind cannot work out this confusion by itself anymore and He Tian’s lips might make more sense. 

(of course I wrote too much oops)

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