IIAAT: I am Transfeminine, when I first started transitioning I would mimic other women, but about a year ago I had an Autistic breakdown and stopped. I have realized that I have had a foggy sense of gender. I know the rules, but, sorry having a hard time explaining this, I know the rules for the genders and can mimic, but honestly do not understand gender very well if at all. It is like I have the dictionary definitions required for gender but don't understand them.
Yes, that is a common autistic experience. Many of us struggle to understand gender, particularly when it comes to ourselves. Personally, I know that I don’t identify fully as man or woman, but whenever I try to think about gender when it comes to myself I get really confused and sometimes upset. As such, I identify as gendervague which is an identity for neurodivergent folk who feel that their neurodivergence affects their understanding of gender.
There is also autgender for those who feel that autism in particular is so entwined with their understanding of gender that the two cannot be separated.
Either of these identities can be used in combination with other gender identities. For instance, I identify as a nonbinary gendervague person. It’s also totally ok to continue identify as you have been and just know that being autistic affects your understanding of gender.
But, yes, this is a fairly common experience for autistics.