who's afraid to be alone

For the lesbians who have just lost all hope of ever coming out, of ever getting a girlfriend, of ever feeling safe. For the lesbians who are seeing their hopes for a happy future dwindle away. For the lesbians who are rushing to try to find a boyfriend to try to pass as straight, for the lesbians who no longer feel safe dressing and presenting the way they want to.

For the bi girls with girlfriends who are terrified about their relationships, for the bi girls with boyfriends who feel isolated, for the bi girls with datemates who don’t know where to go after this. For the out bi girls and the closeted bi girls and the bi girls in between.

For the pan girls who have never dated a girl and are afraid they’ll never be able to, for the pan girls who feel silenced and invisible and alone and afraid, for the pan girls who can’t process what’s happening.

For the sapphic woc who are in physical danger, for the Muslim sapphic woc who wear the hijab and for the Muslim sapphic woc who don’t. For the undocument sapphic woc, for their families, for their loved ones. For the black sapphics who protest and for the black sapphics who don’t. For the sapphic woc whose names are mispronounced by white Americans, for the sapphic woc who don’t speak very good English or any English at all. For the sapphic woc with immigrant parents who are worried about deportation, who are worried about hate crimes, who haven’t slept since the election was called.

You are so valuable and important and loved. You matter so much, and there are so many people who won’t stop fighting for you. You deserve so much better than this. You are worth so much more than this country can give you. It’s okay to feel sad and defeated, but please don’t feel worthless. It isn’t over and there will be so many others who will stand with you for every step from here. You are not alone, and you are so important.

5 a.m. Thoughts

Someone who’s going to hold my hand in the car and outdo my goofy dancing. Someone who’s going to let me pick on them, giving it back twice as bad. Someone who will come over at 1am when I’m too afraid to sleep alone. Someone who won’t mind sitting up at 5am when I’m physically sick from my anxiety and nightmares. Someone who understands that I have horrible days but that they make my good days that much better. Someone who kisses me at every comma in my sentences. Someone who will wrap me up when I lean into them, in the middle of the bar or in the middle of the kitchen. Someone who traces their fingers along my back and answers my hundreds of questions. Someone who listens to me ramble on about politics and things that make me feel one way or another. Someone who remembers my favorite flower and song and weather. Someone who doesn’t make me question how they feel. Someone who wants me, through & through.
That’s the girl I want.

2

OC art from the stream. Some more art of Yolette and now introducing the “Shadow Cat”!

Bonus below (=ↀωↀ=)✧

anonymous asked:

Hahaha Trump won!

I’m sorry that people who support Trump exist. I’m sorry to my mother and father who are immigrants, to my dear friends who identify lgbt+, to my Muslim classmates and friends whom I grew up with, to the vulnerable and poor whom I have devoted time volunteering to help, to young people trying to pursue higher education, to the medical community I will one day be a part of, to POC and women who face a reality that rejects and endangers them, and to myself. 

To everyone who feels afraid and helpless. You are not alone. And please never stop fighting for what is good in the world. 

If anyone disagrees with what I’ve said, please unfollow. I stand for and believe in something better than what we’ve been given. 

I think it would be interesting to do a study on the lives of gays and lesbians born in the mid to late ‘90s to early 2000s, after the bulk of the AIDS crisis had ended with the new cocktail drug treatments. The ones who are just coming of age. The ones grew up with the internet. The ones who are half-drowning in the wave of queer theory. The ones who did not WATCH their gay and lesbian spaces and events disappear, but only know the hollowed-out husks and corpses of what they were. The ones who grew up as the gay community seemed to die and be invaded by straights. The ones who are alone, afraid of speaking about their natural attractions because they will be ostracized. Us.

you put effort into other people because you’re afraid to be alone. you have no idea who you are, and what your potential is.
—  me, a 4pm thought.

Yo am I the only person who thought “I’m afraid to raise him alone” made no sense? 

Regina did raise him alone, for 10 whole years, and now, seeing the Evil Queen manipulating Henry, she starts to question herself?

yes, I love Emma and Regina raising Henry together, I am glad that Regina has someone else to help her, but it makes absolutely no sense for Regina to worry about raising Henry when she’s done it for the past 13 years without becoming the Evil Queen on him.

 She loves him with her whole soul, her love for him has pushed her to become a hero, to give up her vengeance, her love for Henry has completely changed who she is, and all of a sudden she is doubting her ability to parent him? Ya right. 

You’re afraid of late nights and falling in love. You’re afraid of lighting candles and yelling and burning yourself; you’re afraid of losing people you love and trying too hard for people who don’t care in the end. I know you’re afraid of being alone, but you won’t have to worry; I’ll be by your side for the rest of your life.
—  you (via fraagmented)
2

My husband is a deputy and works nights sometimes and I’ve always been too anxious to go to church by myself (especially because we’ve been trying lots of new churches in the area), but I went this morning to the one we went to for the first time last week and actually really enjoyed myself. I sat by myself for most of the service, until a woman and her husband came down from the choir and introduced themselves and sat with me. I started off hesitant, arms crossed, but by the end was swaying and singing to the music, introducing myself to strangers, and asking for more information about the small group studies coming up.

This is for anyone else out there who’s been afraid to go to church alone: go for it. Be strong and courageous. You never know, it may be just the message you’ve been needing.

anonymous asked:

Kallura

Who’s the Cuddler: Keith. He likes to hang on to Allura, because he’s afraid when he wakes, he’ll be alone.

Who makes the bed: Coran, Neither Allura or Keith do it.

Who wakes up first: Allura, she needs to know she’s not dreaming when she wakes up in warm arms.

Who has the weird taste in music: Both. Neither can stand each other’s music because Earth and Altean.

Who is the most protective: Allura. Keith knows she can take care of herself. Together tho, they are extremely protective of Shiro.

Who sings in the shower: Keith. He sings country music and it may sound good to humans, but Allura is like “uhhhh”.

Who cries during movies: Both, more so when it’s about dead dads.

Who spends the most shopping: Allura for clothes and Jewelry. Keith just magically ends up with new swords or a hover bike with no explanation other than “He wanted it, so he got it.”

Who kisses more roughly: Keith, because he just loves the taste on Allura’s lips.

Who is more dominant: Allura and Keith is fine with that.

My Ship Rating from 1-10: 7/10. (Dude to my shipping stuff

4

It’s my birthday! Sorry for the awkward selfies but I’m loving myself. Today is the first birthday without someone I used to love dearly. If you had told me a year ago that this person would no longer be in my life I would have laughed. It’s been a rough past couple months without them but every day I realize that I’m becoming who I’m meant to be. I was so afraid of being alone, but sometimes you have to just close your eyes and walk blindly until you find what you need. I needed this.

To be honest, Me from 4 years ago wouldn’t have believed that I lived to see my 18th birthday. 4 years ago I was hospitalized at this time. Today I can say that I’m ready for life!!

So cheers - here’s to the people I’ve lost and the friends I’ve made along the way. I am alive and breathing against all odds. Here’s to the person I used to love, the one who kicked me while I was down, used me, insulted me, lied to me. I would have loved you for the rest of my life, but you showed me who you really are. Thank you for that. You pushed me to my breaking point and that made me realize how strong I am. Thank you for pushing me to realize who I needed to become.

I will forever love our memories, but I’m so glad I can say never again to you. I’m strong enough for that now. One day you’re going to be alone and the weight of what you did to me and to her will crush you. I hope that when you reach your breaking point you don’t shatter.

I’m rambling along because I’ve got a fever of 102 but yay! I’m alive! Thanks life!!

it was only until i realized i never really had a crush on anyone and just wanted to be good friends that i knew there was a good chance i was probably aromantic altogether instead of just demisexual.

sexualities r confusing

I don’t want someone who wants a girlfriend. Someone who’s afraid of being alone. That will never work. I want someone who would rather be alone than be with the wrong person. That’s how you know you’ve found someone worth fighting for. They will choose you over solitude, because without you, life just wouldn’t taste as sweet.

anonymous asked:

I sometimes wonder myself if IW does know that Sam and Cait are together and that's why he's so adamate saying they're not. Maybe he thinks he's doing his friend a favor. And doesn't realize that he's actually giving the relationship between Sam and Cait more credibility by going over the top and freaking out so badly. Remember when Shatner said I wonder what Sam will think when he finds out Stephen and Cait are flirting on IG? Like why would Sam care? I think he blew it right there and knew it

It’s possible, I suppose.

But, I think it’s simply a matter of an old alcoholic brain that made assumptions based on a one time encounter over one dinner with a man and his female friend who tagged long as a favor because Sam was afraid to dine alone with the rat bastard stage one clinger who stalks him on Twitter.

I’ve been around old alcoholic fucktards my whole life. I know one when I see one.

Broken [Part 23]

One more part to go !

Prologue ( Optional ) || Part 1 || Part 2|| Part 3 || Part 4||Part 5|| Part 6||Part 7||Part 8|| Part 9|| Part 10|| Part 11 ||Part 12 ||Part 13 ||Part 14||Part 15||Part 16|| Part 17 || Part 18 || Part 19 || Part 20 || Part 21 || Part 22 || Part 23 || Part 24 ||

Summary : Can a broken soul be put back together ? ( Mafia Au )


Jungkook woke up to the sound of beeping and a throbbing headache. His mind and vision were still blurry but the scent of the hospital, all too familiar to him, made it clear where he was. Something about the sickening smell threw him back to his childhood when he used to follow his brother around, who followed their father, afraid he would be left alone in the scary long white hallways. The memory sent shivers down his spine but also woke him up completely.

“ Y/N …” He whispered, it being the first thing he remembered out of his trance.

“ You’re finally awake ” The voice seemed far away but familiar, he slowly turned his head to look at his brother. Tight suit uncomfortably wrapping his body as he sat on the chair, legs crossed and eyes tired.

“ Hyung … ” Jungkook tried to sit up but a sharp pain from his abdomen pushed him back down until Junghyun helped him to lean against the pillows behind him “ Where is she ?”

“ Is that really what you should be worried about right now ?” Junghyun sat back down adjusting his jacket “ Do you even know what this would do to the family ?”

“ I’m sorry for involving you in this, hyung, bu-”

“ Tell me what this is ” He interrupted the younger “ What have you gotten yourself in, jungkook ? Gangs ? Drugs ? What is it ?”

Something about his tone made it seem like he already knew the answers. Jungkook noticed that his brother’s voice was unusually bare of all affection and it didn’t seem unnatural. It worried him.

“ It’s a long story, hyung. I’ll tell you later.” Jungkook’s eyes looked for that lost affection in the other’s gaze, maybe this time he really went too far. He really screwed up their relationship “ But, please, is she okay ? Where is she ?”

“ Where she belongs. Soon to be in prison for murder ” His tone turned into a faint question, like he was mocking him “ She seemed like a nice person when I met her. I didn’t know she was the daughter of a drug lord and the fiancé of another ” Junghyun stood up after glancing at his watch, ready to leave.

“ Prison ?” Jungkook’s voice dropped into what resembled a plea, he knew his family was powerful, maybe even too powerful.

“ I know what you’re going to ask of me” The elder shrugged “ I’m already having a hard time getting your friend … what’s his name-”

“ Hobi-hyung ?”

“ Him. I’m doing that for you, but that’s as far as I’ll go without a price.” Junghyun turned to face him again, fixing his tie just as his secretary walked in.

“ A price ? What do you mean ?” Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows, following the nonchalant movements of his brother who was too calm for his usual self.

“ I will get them both out but under one condition ” At this point, the elder seemed like he was stalling something. Jungkook didn’t understand.

“ Anything, hyung, just please ”

“ You have to go back home, with me” He smiled but Jungkook was everything but happy. He worked so hard to get out of there, to not be controlled, is he really going to be giving it all up … but it was for you. It didn’t take him more than a few moments of silence, a heavy one for his brother, before nodding. Anything.

Junghyun’s smile advanced further in his face as he turned to his secretary giving him a signal. To make it happen, Jungkook concluded.

“ Remember our deal then. I have a meeting in ten minutes so I’ll get going but I’ll be back ” Said the elder as he ruffled Jungkook’s hair before walking out, leaving him all alone to his thoughts.

The days that followed for Jungkook felt like an eternity of nothing. He was kept from the outside world and the outside world was kept away from him. He only had the four walls of the private room, on the top floor and away from everyone else, to move in. As active as he was, both his injury and situation left him immobile which only made him restless and depressed. Adding to it that he missed you, beyond his ability to bear. The more time passed the more he craved even the slight whisper, smile. A fragment of news about you and the members. To both put you at peace and himself.

After turning for what seemed like the thousand time in his bed, avoiding putting pressure on his stitches, he sighed sitting up. Jungkook has had enough of it, surely his brother wasn’t serious about the deal. Threat even. That wasn’t his brother, he was just trying to make him stay. Somehow it felt like he was being hidden.

He got up tearing the I.V from his hand and carefully opening the door half the way to look around. After making sure none of his brother’s minions were around, he sneaked outside making his way down to the main floor. Where all the other people were, and where he could let his guard down since he wouldn’t be singled out from the crowd.

Knowing his father’s hospital too well, Jungkook knew where the phones were and quickly moved there. He belatedly realized he didn’t have any money, nothing really, just the clothes on his body. He, as politely as he could, asked for a change from a older male who sat near him glancing broodingly at one of the doors.

Jungkook dialed his number, which was yours now, internally praying that you didn’t lose the phone. As the ringing started, long and paced, he was strangely getting nervous. Of talking to you, of your reaction. Deep down he was scared you had forgotten about him, even though it hadn’t been long.

“ Jungkook ?!” You yelled into the phone knowing that no one else would be calling.

“ Is it him ? ”

“ What Is he saying ? ”

“ Is he okay ? ”

He heard all their voices blend into one noisy chaos and soon tears blurred his vision. His voice got caught in his throat when you called his name again, more eager to hear his voice, for it to be him, louder than before.

“ Please say some-” The phone cut off before he could hear anything else, before he could say anything. He heard your voice crack with a sob and regretted calling, he was just causing you more pain. It’s not like he can go back now.

Originally posted by sugutie

It’s been so long *-* Hope you liked it !

There was a girl who wasn’t so happy
She wrote poems about rape and drugs
She thought about letting go with every written sentence

And there was a boy
His daddy beat him when he was small
He drank liquor and called his wife a bitch
The boy started chain smoking when his mom died on his 15th birthday
And he thought about letting go with every inhalation of tobacco

And there was a woman
She had a miscarriage and her boyfriend left her
She started injecting heroin instead of eating
And she left X’s on each of her wrists
She drew pretty pictures on the walls with her blood, and thought about letting go with every new painting

And there was a man who got drunk and hooked up with a girl
The next day he was accused of rape
He pleaded and said she wanted him too
He sat in his prison cell, wishing for a cigarette, and thought about letting go with every passing of the guard

There was a boy, who cheated on his girlfriend
But she stayed because she was afraid of being alone
He made her miserable, and he got what he wanted
The girl was found in the bathtub with a hair dryer
She had let go

The girl who wrote sad poetry let go
And the boy who chain smoked let go
The women who miscarried let go
The man who went to prison let go
The girl who’s boyfriend cheated on her let go

And then they were all happy

—  gimme-the-drugs.tumblr.com