who would i be if not the person who draws stupid comics

Homestuck Meta Theory

Alright, so I know there’s a lot of people disappointed with the ending, again, I sound like a broken record by this point. And don’t get me wrong- While I love the ending, I would still love to see more of the characters and the story! I just feel it’s a good end as it is. I’ve made a lot of theories about what the End means and everything about Act 7, but all of the things I said, about the Jujus, about becoming freed from Paradox Space, it made me think about the rest of the story, and I believe it has made my entire idea of what Homestuck is change.

So the big question here is, what IS Homestuck? Most people, including me, when talking to someone who knows nothing about it, will speak about the story, the 4 Kids playing SBURB, and the subsequent destruction of Earth. And then mention its huge amount of references towards programming languages, popular culture, storytelling in itself, and it’s self-referential nature. But this Ending has got me thinking that maybe the reason why so many people have been disappointed in the End is because they got Hussie’s intentions wrong.

We tend to reference how the humor and the nature of Homestuck’s narrative is a little extra onto the story, and while it is true the story itself and the characters have drawn a big part of the Fandom, I thought… What if the important part of the Narrative isn’t the Story, but the Meta elements.

As soon as I made connection, everything about the ending began to fall into place. I have commented before that I feel Act 7 is like being shown the Good Ending of a video game without seeing its Neutral Route. 

The Kids have Earth, and Juju Vriska uses manages to flip the ending so that instead of being trapped by Paradox Space’s rules…

They manage to ‘End’ the game properly and get their Happy Ever After.

All while Caliborn is shown getting his power of Immortality, and while we’re left ambiguous about what happens to Vriska and Lord English and everyone in the Dream Bubbles…

Another thing people have complained about is the Character Arcs.

They say how ‘different’ the timeline is. What was the point of Rose’s alcoholism if then Vriska just swats the drink away and it never had any relevance anymore? Terezi’s relationship with Gamzee never happened. Dave and Karkat got together? The Game Over Timeline is bad, everyone agrees that people dying is never good, but they also claim that suddenly having all that Character Development changed made them unable to relate to some characters anymore.

And of course there’s always the mention of how Vriska, even though she’s an abusive 8itch, ended up being somewhat of a heroine, or at the very least not seemingly getting too punished…

That’s where the Narrative itself told us there was something off.

DAVE: rose we dont have fuckin “arcs” we are just human beings

Many have mentioned it, about how not having a closure to certain character arcs referenced this portion, the notion that the characters didn’t have an arc. The same way she then references Jade breaking Endgame ships and such. Rose’s power is Light, and her information source comes from the same place as SBURB and Skaia. It’s a game. Of course she’d have the notion that all of them have to fit certain predisposed stereotypes or their stories have to follow a certain pattern- Rose is looking at their lives since SBURB started as it has been. A Story.

But Dave is having none of it. Dave is beyond the thought that all they do has to follow a set pattern, and claims they don’t have character arcs. This might sound like a clever device by Hussie so he didn’t have to explore more of each of these character’s lives and he could close the comic leaving some loose ends but, there’s more.

Hussie? As an entity? Exists within the story. This would be all fun and dandy if it were a couple of stupid references and memes. And that’s what many people think! Most of his appearances in canon have been a joke, really. But…

Hussie joked about his influence on the comic, when his bot-self was about to mess up with the Kids in the Yellow Yard, but eventually didn’t do it. And yet? His fight with Vriska. His interactions with Caliborn. Everything pictured above? Hussie is a physical entity that follows the same rules as everyone else in Paradox Space and can influence the story. But he’s not a self-insert. He IS the Author. He is the one who wrote every of these characters and continued the story. He’s not another character, he’s himself, in the Homestuck Universe.

And then it began to dawn on me, that perhaps the Meta aspect of Homestuck was a bit more than Fourth-Wall Breaking fun and references to real life stuff. Of course, this train of thought led me to another main plot device that has never exactly been explained to its full extent. Jujus.

There’s the Sucker…

The Crowbar…

The House Juju…

A lollipop that could change character’s personalities, making them immediately make up for aaaall of their mistakes without a care in the world, start alchemizing new weapons, and end up exactly where they needed to be.

A crowbar that can break other of these mysterious devices, and more importantly, has been shown to be able to interact with the Website itself, which seems to be its own physical entity as well!

A house that gave John the ability to change the story, and that ended up being used against the Big Bad of the entire comic.

A puppet that trapped the Souls of various characters and became the gateway for the Big Bad of the comic to become who he is.

A mysterious pair of rings that oh so conveniently appear and disappear on characters, and leave you wondering what they really do, but clearly shown to at least be able to revive someone who, by no other means in the story, would have been able to get back to the world of the living.

Jujus are mysterious, when you look at them from the perspective of the characters. They have no beginning, no end, they just appear at some point and do a loop through time, ending up exactly where they appeared first. They are powerful artifacts able to change reality itself, with no explained origin… But we are no characters. We have seen what these things do on the comic through its entire lengths.

Jujus are plot devices meant to alter the Meta of the comic. They are not things that make sense in a true physical reality. They are artifacts that alter the rules of the plot. Because that’s what the plot is. A story. Because Homestuck is not real, and it acknowledges this.

Or at least… It was supposed to acknowledge this. Many have also claimed that the last updates were so disappointing, compared to Cascade, as Cascade managed to solve so many plot points, but this last one felt empty of everything. Plot. Character Development. That’s where Jujus and Hussie come in.

Hussie dies, in his own comic, a comic that acknowledges him as the actual AUTHOR of the events taking place. And later, we see…

Caliborn, the young version of Lord English, acknowledging Hussie’s death, as he takes the rest of Act 6 and makes it his. Through the use of the Command Prompt, through his own drawings, he begins to write his own story.

[S] Cascade had so many plot points resolved, and these last updates didn’t. Because that is the point. Ever since Act 5 ended and Act 6 started, Hussie has begun to lose control of the story. He was killed by Lord English, the big bad, who also took control of the narrative. Vriska acknowledges a narrator speaking, and forces the narrative to shift back to her opening the Juju chest out of frustration. The command prompts, John’s retcons- At this point, Hussie is no longer in control of his characters.

The Game Over timeline was bad, but it felt like it had more Character Development. That is because it was a not-retconned Timeline. The characters had struggles, the plot moved on forward, some people was possessed, it was all prime material for a conflict and a resolution afterwards! But Aranea’s intervention made it a Doomed Timeline. A Bad End. We all know how Doomed Timelines work, so everything that happens there would have been totally irrelevant. But John didn’t want to accept that. Roxy was still alive, and sad. And Terezi wanted him to fix things up. So instead of acknowledging he was in a Doomed Timeline, like Roxy did? Roxy, who saw her mother-daughter die in her arms, and claimed there might be nothing left for them. And meanwhile, John just managed to get his powers ready, zapped back in time and solved everything.

New problems arose in the new Timeline, sure, but not as many. And a lot of the character arcs were suddenly shoved back. Rose no longer struggles with alcoholism, Karkat doesn’t chase after Terezi, and becomes Matesprits with Dave after mellowing down. Gamzee, one of the biggest dangers, is shoved back by Vriska until he’s barely relevant anymore.

And all of this might just be me trying to find an explanation to the sudden loose ends not being tied. But I think, all of this, was meant to express more than Hussie rolling the story back or changing the story to fit other things. No.

We go back to Dave’s words. We’re real people, we don’t have arcs. We are real people. In a comic, where the author is a character, and that always acknowledges it’s a comic? Dave saying they’re real people is big. It was taken as a joke, because they are characters, come on! Right? … Right?

Well of course they are. But that’s the thing. Up until Act 6, all of the various characters were nothing more than that. And even during the Game Over Timeline, they were nothing more than that. But Hussie’s death, the ghosts, no longer relevant, trying to fight back against Lord English? Caliborn’s acknowledgement of a story and trying to take control of it? And finally, John’s powers.

The House Juju gave John something more important than being able to change the Timeline.

The ability to make Selfcest canon.

Wait no- That wasn’t it.

The ability to alter the plot to his own whims.

John’s zapping doesn’t follow the rules of Paradox Space. It allows him to change the timeline as he wishes and it still be the Alpha. Not only that, but he can also warp out of the story itself, sending people and things to the background of the website.

It’s when Vriska starts to try and find this Juju that everything about the narrative begins to shift gears. John now can change the plot. Which means he is not adhering to the rules that bound them all anymore. He can go back, bring people who were dead back to life, save his friends, and aid them get a better ending.

And in this new timeline he’s changed? Everyone seems a bit different. They have gone through different things, and are as confused as anyone else about what is going on. This is the moment where these characters stop being characters.

This isn’t a story about Four Kids playing a Game, getting involved in Shenanigans and trying to live a happy ever after as villains try to plot on destroying them and reality. Homestuck is the tale of the characters from a webcomic, becoming self-aware, and escaping the grasp of the author and the narrative.

I don’t know if this is what Hussie intended, and if it is, at what point he planned to start leading the story this way. I might just be crazy and be reading too much into this? But as I see it? It closes every single loophole in this story.

Doomed Timelines are meant to be nothing. They are meant to fade, and not be relevant anymore. But the ghosts are having none of this. They WANT to be relevant in this story again. They create an army, and head off to defeat the biggest threat in the entire comic.

Caliborn knows reality itself isn’t as it seems, and tries to make his own story within it. He strives to become almighty, and then begins to destroy and rend reality itself so he can make way for his own rule.

Vriska knows she’s in a story, having interacted with the very Author and the command prompt! But she is not trying to change the story- All the opposite. Vriska follows the rules of the story, closes loopholes from what she has seen, but tries to be the one who causes everything. She wants to be in the spotlight of this tale. She creates Bec Noir just because she had seen it in her screen. And knowing this is a story, she goes off of her way to find methods to defeat each of these villains, at any cost. Because in a story, once she defeats these big, powerful foes, she’ll be a heroine, and everyone will regard her so highly, she’ll be over everyone else. Just like she wants.

John? I don’t think he knows he’s in a story. But he has the power to alter it. And after he begins to mess with the timeline, the rules of Paradox Space begin to shatter around him and his friends. Time loops, Rules, Plot, why would they care about how a story goes, if it’s not a story, it’s their lives. They just want to be happy and get away from this cycle of destruction and death.

I’d even go as far as to say God Tier Calliope knows this. If her Land and her Earth were anything like Caliborn’s, she might also been in contact with the command prompt. Perhaps the fact her entire mission was a self-sacrifice to collapse the Green Sun represented how she, too, saw Paradox Space as what it was- A construct that kept these characters trapped as that. Characters. And the only way to escape its grasp was the erase its very existence, using Lord English’s destruction to tear a hole through the comic, and destroy it.

In this way, everything that happens towards the ending makes perfect sense. There are hundreds, thousands, who knows how many timelines, in which every plot hole will be closed. But we’re not following these. It would be easy to cause, say, the Condesce to wake up. Because of her immortality curse given by Lord English. Or the Draconian Dignitary get to the Frog Lily Pad. Something happens, interrupts the kids from entering to the new Session, and bam! Suddenly more plot! Their entrance to the Universe is blocked. Terezi worries about Vriska, so they begin to plot a way to help her defeat Lord English. The black hole in the Session that likely leads to Caliborn’s land becomes relevant, and they all have a trip to beat up Caliborn. Something happens to Calliope, her ring has ended up in Caliborn’s hands as well, he traps the kids, the Alphas beat him up, all loops are closed, we have a bittersweet, predictable ending. And this has happened. In many timelines before. Over, and over. Perhaps the one we’re following isn’t even the Alpha, for that very reason.

But it doesn’t matter. I talked about how the Jujus were a way to alter the plot, and let’s go back to this, and look at my theory about the Kids Souls being Trapped for all eternity in this Juju. The moment Caliborn uses this Juju, he kickstarts the entirety of the rules of Paradox Space. These kids we follow through the story, are trapped in a plot, with rules dictated by narrative that they HAVE to adhere too.

Then the ghosts decide that this is bullshit, and that they, even after death, want to still be relevant. Instigated by Vriska and Meenah, and aided by Aranea’s mind control, they manage to find a way they can alter the plot once again, a Juju. John touches this Juju, and suddenly he gains the power to alter this plot as well, and begins his and his friend’s journey to escape the clutches of Paradox Space and the comic itself.

John was trapped in the house all along. So of course, shoving his arm through it? He managed to grasp at the other side. He got a taste of what it was to be free. And he gained the power of changing the plot as a result.

Then, Vriska becomes alive again. She’s relevant, and bashes down on her ghost self. Ghost self that had at one point tried to make herself relevant, even though since she’s dead she shouldn’t be. This way, Vriska proves that, while she acknowledges the story as a story, and wants to be always present and in the middle, she never sees it as something she has to escape. She has no character development, because now, in this timeline that John has changed, she’s free to do whatever she wants, she’s her own person without a character arc, but doesn’t find the need to become said person. She doesn’t want to change, she wants to keep following the plot, and take down the big bad.

So Vriska takes the house Juju from her alternate self, goes against Lord English, beats up the Author of the comic itself as a last Fuck You, and then uses the Juju towards him. And this is when Alive Vriska makes her big mistake. By following this plot, this story, the Juju house crashes behind her…

She’s on Lord English’s side of the house. Because both of them know the comic is just that, a story. He knows about the narrative, and the author. So he kills the author, and becomes the big evil that must be defeated. Meanwhile, Vriska knows about the narrative, and the author, so she beats up the author and tries to become the heroine.

Caliborn and Vriska could very well strive to break free of Paradox Space in other ways, but instead they do what they do best- Be themselves, and fuck shit up in the process. And it’s this mentality that in the end, as the House Juju appears, tells us that both of them have been doomed. Doomed to be trapped in this Collapsing Paradox Space there’s no escape from.

Except there is an escape.

Because the door opens. It opens for the Kids and Trolls on the lily pad. And it opens for the Ghost Army and everyone else in the Bubbles. These are people that have been living aside from the story for a long time. The ones that are alive in the Session have had John change everything and the events happening after make them question Paradox Space itself. And the dead ones or the ones just stuck in the Furthest Ring? They fear being forgotten. They fear being erased by the collapsing Paradox Space, and had faced Lord English to try and become relevant once more.

Of course Condy’s curse didn’t wake her up. Of course DD didn’t appear. The moment the Juju appears, the story is done. There is no more plot. Because it’s not a story. The ones wanting to follow the plot are now seeing it crumble, seeing everything end. And the ones that wanted to become relevant against Paradox Space- Why would they need to even follow the rules? They are trying to escape them.

The Plot Holes are part of the plot in itself. John and everyone else didn’t need to fill it up. Because they are not part of the story anymore. We didn’t see their character arcs close. Because they are not characters anymore. They are not characters anymore. They don’t need to show us they have grown- Or maybe they haven’t even grown. They are always growing, learning. But now, they have escaped this evil Universe that trapped them and forced into cruel and crueler situations. They have escaped to a peaceful realm. They don’t need to keep following the story. They are happy and free to live their lives however they want.

They are finally happy.

anonymous asked:

Sorry if I'm bothering you but can you share why you think avatar is bad?

hoo boy man ur asking for a lot bc that show is a complete and utter M E S S. first, heres the main phrase my tibetan ass wants u to think about: its a show using asian/indigenous ppl and their devastating histories made by ignorant weeaboo white men. I want to write about it in detail bc i’ve always wanted to say something about this but never rly got around to doing it. maybe ill send this in letter format to the writers lol. anyways im going to split this up into parts. I’ll put a readmore bc its kinda long

@bryankonietzko take a nice long look if u still use tumblr lmao

Keep reading

When I Lost You - Part I - Jaehyun x Reader - Fuckboy HighSchool!AU

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V - Part VI

Requested by: @kpop-killed-me, I don’t know if I’ll make a part two????? but enjoy the angst!!

Word Count: 1313

Trigger Warnings: Offensive Language

Genre: Fuckboy HighSchool!AU, Angst


To everybody else, he was Jung Jaehyun. 

Senior star athlete, extreme womanizer and playboy, and the guy everybody wanted to be friends with, regardless of the consequences.

To you, he was once Jung Yoonoh; the quiet shy kid who sat by you in the library and showed you funny videos of cats on the internet when the librarian wasn’t hovering over you.

The transformation happened towards the end of sophomore year.

Keep reading

|| missing you ||

tags [permanent + peter parker]: @ghostedwolf , @animexchocolate, @psychicwitchphilosopher , @pharaohkiller , @moonlight53 , @literatureandimmature, @daydr3ams-away, @wannabe-weasley , @mcusebstan , @tmrhollandkay , @pepcvina , @nekonerdxox , @lokigirl18 , @fangeekkk , @kylielo22 , @wavy-ley , @lghockey , @buckysendoftheline , @1022bridgetp , @potterjamesharry

**please don’t repost/plagiarize this story. Reblogs are fine**

——

When Peter kissed Liz during homecoming last year, you felt your heart break into a million pieces.

Your best friend, the boy that you’ve been in love with since the moment you laid eyes on him was taken from you, his heart cruelly ripped away from your grasps.

Keep reading

So, He’s a Phantom...

Since people seemed to enjoy my short ramblings on the Danny Phantom show, I think I’ll continue playing with this and talk more about the show. So what better way to start than a conversation about Dannyboy himself.

So it’s easy to talk about how the idea of a ghost powered superhero is brilliant, especially one raised in a family of ghost hunters then having to hide his identity and cool versatile but balanced powers from his folks, because all of that is amazing. However I feel talking about the mechanics of his setup and powers while cool and satisfying does a disservice to what makes Danny shine, and that’s Danny himself. I have a lot of frustration and salt over how often this show flubs it, but Danny has never been anything other than the shows greatest selling point. I feel like as the show kept irritating fans and making mistakes the strength of Danny as a character is what made this entire mismanaged program work at all. For the sake of brevity I’m going to just talk about Danny as he exists in a semi vacuum, because his relationships with the rest of the cast are too interesting and well developed for me to go into any depth without this becoming a book. So lets talk about Danny Fenton/Phantom and how he relates to just himself… by starting a conversation about Spiderman

I say semi vacuum because to talk about Danny without talking about his influences in the comic book superhero world would leave us missing a lot of his strengths. Danny is a comedic teenage outcast superhero whose super powered life comes with consequences that affect his mundane non powered life. This is not an uncommon setup but for the most part was brought into mainstream existence by Spiderman, who acts as Danny’s primary influence in terms of conceptual design. Danny’s not the first to draw from Peter’s superhero trope trove, since Virgil Hawkins, Wally West, Terry McGinnis and dozens of others have all used this character type. This similarity doesn’t make any of them less special or valuable, but it does force us to examine how they use these similarities differently in order to see more than perhaps a shallow surface examination would yield

so yeah on a surface level these characters do appear fairly similar to anyone who really wanted to ignore all other aspects of their character in order to be snotty and pompous, so lets ignore those other important character traits for a second and get to the reason these characters might appear so similar. All of them are known for their comic interjections in the middle of crime fighting. I tend to refer to this superhero archetype as a Quipster, though I’m not the first to think up the word. But these characters are generally popular, with the idea of the clever comic dogooder striking a certain cord with people. But getting back to Danny specifically, I think what makes him work so well in this trope is that he comes without the trappings that I find often limit the other characters described. That absent limit being that Danny is almost never in control. When these other characters get quipy it’s usually as a means to mock their foe because the hero is so on top of things they have time to gloat. Spidermans foes have often brought up his that they know he’s loosing when stops making jokes and they’re often right. Danny’s humor is rarely used to communicate control over a situation, and even when it is that usually comes after 10 minutes of struggling to figure out what to do so it feels earned. A majority of Danny’s quips feel more like the Muppets acknowledging their own ineffectualness to the audience directly, than the classic Spiderman taunt. And while it sounds like this might be a trait that applies only to these characters as crime fighters, the truth is this difference is the defining element for everything in his depiction. Danny is allowed to fail, while Spiderman is allowed to be wronged.

Danny has zero control. He can’t control that his parents hate his ghost identity. He can’t control that everyone thinks he’s a dweeb. He can’t control his pants staying on his body. He can’t control his teenage impulses. He can’t control his mouth from spewing stupid things constantly. These are legitimate shortcomings that the show acknowledges not only exist but insists stay in the foreground forcing Danny to constantly be the butt of the joke. Contrast that with Spiderman who is never depicted as a joke because he has to be the misunderstood victim. Because of this Danny is made vulnerable to the audience in a way that his fellow quipsters never are, because he is always the center of his problem. This is so smart and realistic and I wish I saw it more often in media. More importantly that the vulnerability though, Danny’s failures make his situation believable. I understand why a babbling doofus who an’t keep his pants up is an outcast that everyone picks on. I don’t get why handsome charming Peter Parker is needlessly made a target for cruelty other than the narrative demands it. Danny’s believably as a character sells his situation, making it a powerful narrative asset rather than a constant nonsensical irritant for made for hamfisted morals.lacking any self awareness. The way Danny as a character is set up is one of the most intelligent bits of narrative construction that Nickelodeon has ever produced. It’s so intelligent in fact that I will never be convinced that the creator of Tuff Puppy could ever have done it on purpose.

So lets stop talking about Danny from a meta constructive angle and start talking about him as a person because he’s really superbly enjoyable. He’s kind, petty, patient, angry, filled with wonder and cynicism and is constantly clawing certainty in his mangled little life and I love him. He’s the type of conflicted disaster that can only come from a cesspool of teenage hormones and he wears it without becoming unpleasant. I have to give so much credit for this to his voice actor  David Kaufman, who manages to make all these contrasting aspects of his character seem natural, while also instilling in Danny his most important trait, his Sincerity. I believe everything Danny does and in a world were people look at Superman protecting the city and wonder “Why?”, that is a huge feat. Danny’s role as a crime fighter is never questioned by you or the show. It just makes sense. How could he be anything but a hero? Look at how happy he is doing this, he was born for it. In a world were Danny has so little control, the escapism of the super hero is an almost dangerously perfect place for him to be.

Danny is such a well made character that it’s hard to find areas to improve him that don’t boil down to giving him over to smarter writers, but since this whole examination stems from my pointing out frustrations over the missed opportunists of Danny Phantom I feel I should find something to expand on him. If there was one area I’d really want to see him improved on that didn’t require us taking him out of a vacuum for the sake of this post, I’d love to see Danny deal with a more in depth look at depression and the temptation to abandon his life as Danny Fenton to become a full time Phantom. both of these are touched upon but could easily be expanded into full arcs or at least into a meaningful conversation with someone. I’d love to know how Danny specifically deals with his depression, or what reasons he specifically sees to keep his dual life, as opposed to the generic blanket statement of I have to be strong or it’s wrong and I love my family. I’d love to see Danny as self examining and able to vocalize his doubts and fears into something more communicable and mature than the original show allowed.

I feel like that’s most of what I can say right now on Danny without introducing his personal relationships. He really is a gem of a character and the fact that this fandom is still so alive and well I think is a testament to Danny himself. There is one other element to his character I think is worth talking about but I think it deserves it’s own post somewhere down the line. That all being said I’m having a blast getting to talk about Danny, but I don’t think I can properly continue without bringing in Sam and Tucker. Till then take care of yourself  and have a super day

Imagine Peter Keeps Trying To Flirt With You

Originally posted by alphalewolf

There She Is

Requested By httpstarlords

Summary: You’re shy and used to minding your own business- and then Peter Quill starts to take an interest in you, and you feel pressured to break free of your very tight shell. 

Warnings: none– there may be some language.

A/N: This one took me a little while to complete, considering that I’ve been at my sisters apartment. Also, this was really funny to listen to when I accidentally did that thing on Pages where you can have the robot read it to you. Just thought you should know. Just cuz.


Peter Quill was the type of man to get what he wanted, so you ignoring and scurrying away from his little comments seemed to only draw him in. You weren’t sure if it was because he was just curious as to why you had turned him down, or if he had just wanted to bother you. Either way, you were very uncomfortable.
It’s not like he makes you feel that way- you just always have, around people in general. You were shy and anxious, used to keeping to the shadows and watching beautiful people like him score with other beautiful people like that Gamora girl.
You sat on a messy old chair in Knowhere, frantically bouncing your knee and biting your lip. There were a lot of people around- and your friend had left you to go off and make some deal with someone who may or may not want to kill her.
It was then when you saw Peter staring at you from a distance- you had visited Knowhere many times before, and he always seemed to know where to find you. You curled up on yourself, trying to become as small as possible. But it was too late, the damage was done. He was approaching you- you, all alone, with no one but yourself to help you through this. Your heart was already racing.
“Funny running into you here, again,” he said, pulling up a chair besides you. You looked down, glancing up at him momentarily as he grew silent. You really just wanted to go home. “You know I’m not gonna stop.”
You jumped at his suddenly serious tone, looking up at him. “Stop what?”
He smirked, leaning against the back of the chair and folding his hands together on his stomach, “trying to get you to go out with me. Come on, one date?”
You squirmed, completely sure that his definition of date was different than yours. You looked down again, sighing. You wished you had the guts to tell him to go away, or, at the very least, that you didn’t want just a fling. You wanted something- something- you wanted something. You weren’t entirely sure what that was, but really, who ever does?
“Alright, fine, have it your way,” he said, biting on his lower lip, “just wondering, is there a reason you’re always so quiet?”
You clamped your lips shut, using your hair to create a curtain between the both of you. You hoped your friend wouldn’t end up dead, because, god, you really needed her.
Peter reached over gently, pushing the curtain of hair behind your ear, leaving his hand on your head for longer than what you deemed sociably acceptable. You shifted in your seat, clenching your jaw and sitting on your hands.
“Are you scared of something?” he asked, scooting closer to you, “scared of me?
You rolled your eyes, glancing up at him again. The smirk on his face made you surprisingly angry, and you huffed, turning away quickly. You would stand up and walk away had your friend been very clear that if you weren’t there when she got back, she’d be leaving without you.
“Come on, tell me something.” Peter begged, sticking out his lower lip, “your name? Where you’re from?”
You weighed your options in your head: ignore him until he goes away, or maybe just humor him. You picked the latter, hoping that your voice didn’t shake as you spoke. “I’m Y/n-“ you said, but stopped once you realized how unstable you sounded. You squeezed your eyes shut tight, holding your breath, nearly devastated.
He chuckled, tilting his head and staring at you with tired eyes, “I’ll take it you’re not from around here, then. But I see you’re here a lot. There a reason for that?”
You pressed your lips into a straight line, focusing your attention on your feet. A wave of insecurity washed over you, making you bite you’re lip a little too hard. You tasted the sweet blood in your mouth, wincing as the embarrassment overcame you.
His smile faded, and watched you curiously, leaning in as you shuddered. “Hey, Y/n? You alright-“
You caught a glimpse of your friend walking towards you in the corner of your eye and stood, hurrying over to her, nearly tripping over yourself the entire time. By the time you reached her, your eyes were bathed in tears, and your breathing was rapid and unsteady.
“What’s going on?” she asked, looking around.
You shook your head, “I don’t know what to say- he just came up-“
“Who did?” she asked, calmly reaching her hand behind her coat, to the gun she had concealed.
“That Peter guy!” you whisper-yelled, calming down only slightly.
She stared at you for a long moment, and then bursted out laughing, her hands falling to her knees. You cringed, shrinking in on yourself. “Him? Why don’t you just say yes already! I’ll bet there are girls and guys lined up to be with him!”
You looked to the floor as if you were getting scolded by a parent, slowly moving your foot back and forth, “I was trying to talk, really I was. But I couldn’t. I’m too-“
She sighed, reaching an arm out and draping it over your shoulder, “it’s okay. You’ll be able to say something eventually. We’ll be back, anyway- stupid guy wasn’t even here.”
You groaned, “great.”

———

The next day you tried your best to hide, but that doesn’t really work when the person you’re hiding from is Starlord.
You bit your lip anxiously as he parted from his pet raccoon and made his way over to you, a determined set to his eyes, and a smirk on his lips.
No, no, no, no, no, please…” you whispered, turning away and hurrying in the other direction. Maybe he’d take the hint. Maybe he’d walk a different way.
You made your way out to a little balcony like thing, standing with your back towards the archway, watching the stars. The twinkling lights sprinkled amongst the backdrop of black always calmed you; perhaps someday you’d shine as much as they do.
“So close,” said a voice from behind you, rapidly approaching, “but you can’t escape a legendary outlaw.”
You sighed, turning slowly towards him, trying to hide the dark blush that spread across your cheeks. “H- hi-“ you struggled.
He smiled, stopping in front of you and leaning down slightly, tilting his head. “Now tell me, what’s a pretty girl like you so afraid of?”
You paled, taking in deep breaths and staring down. You felt his fingers fold around your chin, forcing your gaze upwards and into his eyes. You forgot about your breathing, about your shaking, about control. You gave up these things for the well-known but always agonizing panic that claimed ownership of your mind.
He seemed to notice, his flirty stature dying away, his hands falling, “really, Y/n. God, I hope thats your name. It’d be pretty bad if it isn’t.”
You felt yourself smile a little bit, glancing up at him. You nodded, “it is…”
He smiled a little, “so how about it? How about I show you my ship- it’s pretty sweet.”
You shuddered, unsure of how that situation would really go, because while you were very conservative, you didn’t have the best sense of self-control. And you’d hate to live through the embarrassment of that. And you had a valid excuse- you were probably about to be called to go save your friends ass.
“I-“ he began, just as the little phone in your pocket started buzzing. You clicked it off, looking up and sighing at him.
“Gotta run,” you whispered, your voice cracking, and took off in the direction of your friend. You heard him following you, to see where you were off to, and decided to let him. Maybe he’d get shot- and then you really would never need to worry about him again.
You saw your friend holding her hands up in surrender, three big guys coming in on her. You sighed, Quill coming up behind you and whistling. You pulled out the guns you had hidden on both sides of your belt, moving quickly to your friends side.
“Alright,” she said, “I suggest you let me go, or get your heads blown off by the best shot in the galaxy!”
You paled at the exaggeration, but held your strong stance as they continued advancing. You charged up the lasers, clenching your jaw and listening for Peter behind you. You could feel his eyes boring holes into your back, but you kept staring forward, avoiding eye contact with the giants.
“Fine, then! Have it your way!” she shouted, drawing a crowd. “Fire!
You finished charging up the lasers with a satisfying buzz, shooting one guy as the others began to scramble. You avoided a shot with a roll in one direction, landing on one knee and firing towards the source of the laser. You found the other guy standing firm with a giant gun trained on you, and took a deep breath as you charged up your phasers one final time.
And then something happened- Peter jumped in front of you, a strange mask covering his face, guns blazing. The man fell down within a few hits, his gun hitting the floor with a very loud bang. It was almost comical.
“Ah,” your friend said, squeezing your shoulder, “those weren’t event the guys I needed.”
You sighed, tucking your weapons away and glancing at her, “nice.” You turned to walk away, your fists clenching and unclenching. You heard Peter following you again.
“Hey!” he said, hurrying to your side, “that was amazing- what are you, some kind of ninja or assassin or something?”
You bit your lip, turning to look at him, “no.”
He stared down at you, raising his eyebrows and nodding. “Oh- okay- so, about coming along with me-“
You shook your head, hurrying up onto your friends ship, closing the door behind you and sinking to the ground. You wanted to say yes. But you were too afraid.
Sure, take a few lives, no problem. Save your best friend, no problem. Say yes to a date with the guy who was easily the hottest in the universe- don’t even try.

——-

You stayed on the ship for longer than you had to the next day. Your friend had dragged you out of bed, saying that today was probably the last day you’d be stuck here, getting chased around by Peter.
“I wanna say yes, but-”
She groaned, pulling you up and out of bed angrily, “then just say yes! So you’re a little quiet when he takes you out, but you’ll get used to him eventually!”
You shifted uncomfortably, sighing, “I wish it were that easy, but every time I look at him, I can’t breathe, and I get so nervous I start to shake and sweat and run and-“
She laughed, shaking you by the shoulders, “because you like him, you idiot! So go out there today, and when he finds you, because he will find you, just go with him to the ship!”
You bit your lip, nodding shamefully, “okay, I guess…”
So you sat in wait for two hours, watching people pass by, losing your confidence by the second. Then finally, in the corner of your eye, you saw that red jacket, and jumped up. You didn’t want to approach him, but you weren’t sure he noticed you there. You decided you’d walk past; maybe he’d try and get your attention. You stuffed your hands in your pockets, putting your head down, and trying your best to blend in with the crowd while still being visible to him.
Come on, Star-idiot.” you whispered, furrowing your eyebrows. You weren’t entirely sure where you were going, just that you were going to keep walking straight until you ran into something or got beat up by a gang of intergalactic thugs.
“Hey! Y/n!” he yelled, and you sighed, stopping short just as you neared a suspicious looking group of men and women.
You turned on your heel, trying to smile. “Yes?” you asked lightly, almost inaudibly.
“I’ve been looking for you- about yesterday- wow.” he said, shaking his head and laughing, “I wouldn’t’ve pegged you as that kind of girl.”
You shrugged, someone bumping into you and pushing you forward. You struggled to get your hands out of your pockets, landing hard against Peter’s chest. You winced, hurrying to back away, “sorry, sorry, I-“
He smiled, reaching out and holding onto you as you tried to steady yourself, “I think thats the most I’ve ever heard your voice before. Do it again.”
You sighed, wishing he would just ask you out already. You were dreading saying yes and following him back to his ship. “I don’t… know what to say?”
He smiled wider, winking at you, “there she is.”
You bit your lip, turning your eyes away from his face.
“Come on,” he said, and you sighed in relief, “let me show you my ship. Please.”
You nodded, reaching a hand out to grab his arm so you wouldn’t get separated in the sudden rush around you. Halfway there, a man resembling one of the ones from the previous day came out of nowhere, hurrying towards you and pushing you away from Peter.
“Hey!” he shouted, hurrying after you.
The mans hands were wrapped firmly around your neck, pushing you back further still, until you were out of the crowd of people. “Let- me- go-” you choked, pulling down on his thumbs, struggling to keep your feet under you.
He growled, tightening his grip. And then, all of a sudden, a hand appeared on his beefy shoulder, spinning him around and punching him.
“Peter!” you shrieked, backing away to catch your breath. You reached under your jacket to get your gun, but quickly stopped as the man stalked away, grumbling about something in a different language.
Peter smiled, offering you his arm again, “now we have a real reason to get back to my ship. Let’s clean you up a little, yeah?”
You blushed, wrapping one hand around his bicep while the other wiped at the blood gathered by your lips. “Okay.”

———

The ship was a decent size- had a little ladder for different levels, a nice control pannel, decent sitting, though it was kind of a mess.
“This baby has been with me through thick and thin,” he said happily, patting the wall. You smiled, looking around with wide eyes.
“It’s kind of messy…” you said gently, trailing your fingers along different drawers.
He smiled, “yeah, and if I had a-“
“Well look who Peter finally brought home.” someone said, and when you turned to look around you were surprised to see no one there. “Down here, kid.”
You blushed, looking down at the small raccoon.
“Rocket- man- come on-“ Peter tried, sighing and rolling his eyes.
Rocket held up a hand- or… paw- and winked at you, “I thought you’d never do it, Quill. Congratulations.”
You clenched your jaw, trying to steady your breathing. “Wh.. what?
Rocket nodded to you, “looks like Groot won that pool.”
Peter’s expression sunk, and he shook his head, “Rocket, go.”
You shook your head angrily, tears welling up in your eyes. So it was a game. You pushed past Peter and Rocket, making your way outside and back into the crowds. Hurt spread through you, even though you knew you had hardly any reason to be upset at all. You barely knew him- so why did get yourself so worked up about it?
You hadn’t realized that you stopped walking once you reached the outside of the ship, just standing there and staring into the crowd mindlessly.
Peter followed after you, turning you towards him and staring into your eyes angrily, “nothing he said was true, and if it was, I had no part in it. Any of it.”
Your lips fell agape, and you wanted so desperately to turn and run away. You looked at him, feeling as though there was steam coming from your ears. “This is what I was afraid of!” you yelled, overcome with anger.
He raised his eyebrows, taken aback by your sudden unexpected outburst. “Hey- hey-“ he reached out to you, raising one hand in surrender.
“Don’t touch me!” you cried, slapping his hand away, “you should’ve just left me alone!” You turned to move away, your eyes stinging. You were beginning to make a scene.
He sighed, following after you, “come on, give me one more chance. One more.”
You turned back to him, wiping your cheeks with the backs of your hands, “for what? I barely gave you a first chance and you messed it up!”
“I didn’t mess it up! It was them- them!
You let out a quiet sob, looking back down to the ground. “Yeah,” you said in a whisper.
He frowned, placing his fingers under your chin and lifting your head up, locking his eyes with yours, “what they did- that’s not me. Well, not in situations like these… Listen, I like you, Y/n, I really do. And seeing you sitting there, alone, I don’t know, something came over me, and I just… It was like I-“
You laughed a little, seeing as he tried to come up with a corny way to explain himself. “Okay,” you said, staring up at him, placing one hand on his chest, “I guess I could… give you another chance…”
He smiled, “re- really?”
You nodded, and stood on your toes, placing a gentle kiss to his lips before turning back to his ship, “well, come on, then. Show me around?” Your voice was still low, but you were getting better at forcing the words out now.
“Yeah-“ he said, “yeah! Come on.” He locked his hand with yours- warm, calloused, him. You smiled.
Peter Quill was the type of man to get what he wanted, but apparently, he didn’t get everything handed to him on a silver platter.
At least, that’s not how he got you.
Don’t Wanna Fall In Love

Prompt: Requested by Anonymous. “Oh my god you have no idea how happy I am that requests are open! You’re like my favorite writer on here. Okay so could you do one with punk Gerard and like everyone hates him and so does Y/N but then one day they get paired to do a project for school and so they have to meet up at Gerard’s house and Y/N is not happy about it but then it turns out Gerard’s actually a total sweetheart and then lots of fluff thanks 😊”

Word Count: 1,814

Pairing: Gerard x Reader

A/N: omg you’re so sweet! <3

You know those kids at school that everyone hates, usually without reason? Everyone has always just hated them, well, Gerard Way is that kid. Of course he has friends, some idiot named Frank, but the majority of the school hates him and honestly you don’t know why. But you hate him too. You like to tell yourself that you hate him for good reason because you’re not the kind of person to go around hating people without thought as to why, so your mind supplies you with the little things he does that drive you nuts. Like how he always starts debates in class so the teacher will forget to assign homework, or how he never seems to change his clothes, or the way he looks better in makeup than you do. They’re stupid reasons to hate a person, especially when he’s never even spoken a word to you, but he’s Gerard Way and you’re supposed to hate him.  

“Is he assigning partners today?” Your best friend asks you as you file into your Spanish class. You have been talking about your midterm project for a few days but you can’t get started until partners are assigned and you’ve been hopeful every day all week.

“I hope so,” You reply, taking your seats beside one another.

The teacher is too tall for his pants, he always is, and his socks are scrunched down around his shoes. He looks like a dorky grandpa who dances to quiet music at the family party. His eyes are a faded out grey but when he starts talking and Spanish tongue fills the room he lights up and his eyes dance across the class like everything is filling with colour and life in front of his very eyes. It’s the main reason you like him so much, his passion for what he’s teaching.

“So let’s talk about your project,” He starts and a few kids groan. He starts pairing kids off and you get more and more worried the more names he says, losing friends left and right until finally he calls out your name and…Gerard fucking Way, of course.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

may i please please please request gom reactions after seeing s/o crying for the first time in front of them and the s/o is pouting and tears are just quietly streaming down their face?? thank you so much i love your blog so much and you can choose to make it nsfw or sfw (your choice ^______^)

Not gonna lie guys, I am so unhelpful when people cry. Like do I touch their back? Pat their head? Seek brutal revenge in their honor? WHAT DO I DO!?!? Thanks for the awesome ask Anon! 


Akashi:

He stood utterly bewildered, blinking in confusion as the tears streamed down your face in angry streams. It wasn’t his intention to make you cry when he brought up your struggling math grade…but he bit his cheek in frustration when he realized it may have come off condescending with the tone he used.

“_____…” His hand was slow and he tentatively reached out, hoping you wouldn’t shrug away his touch, but he was pleased that you curled into his hug instead. “I’m sorry, I did not mean to sound insulting. I merely know that you are capable of more and wish to see you succeed.” His voice was quiet and his hold on you was gentle, as though he feared you would pull away at any moment.

“I suck at math Sei-kun…I’ll never pass…” Your voice was muffled by his chest and his hand smoothed down your back in comfort, drawing lazily circles as your breathing evened out.

“Yes, you will. You have me remember? We will get through this together. Come, let’s get lunch before we study.” He waited for your agreeing nod before leading you away, making a mental note to work on his tone of voice. He never wanted to see you cry like that again.

Aomine:

Of all the things to see you cry over, he didn’t expect it to be over something he said to another person. He had just beaten Seirin in the Interhigh, with an impressive 112-55 score. Why would you care what he said to Bakagami and Tetsu? But seeing the tears run down your cheeks and your fists clenched tightly unnerved him. He swallowed the uncomfortable lump building in his throat, trying to take in a deep breath despite the air becoming thicker in his anxiety.

“Babe?” He couldn’t even voice his question as he tried desperately to shake off your unwavering eye contact.

“Winning isn’t enough? You intentionally have to be a jerk to the other team? Seriously Daiki?” His hand rubbed the back of his head in shame as his gaze still lingered on the wooden floors, eyes narrowing as he swallowed down a hasty comeback that would dig him deeper in the hole he made for himself.

“I…I promise I’ll lay off. Okay?” His voice is quieter than usual and his cheeks tinge with red as you watch him glance up at you nervously. You nod with a small sigh, grabbing his hand to leave the gym. You never wanted him to ‘change’ but you did want him to work through his emotions surrounding the game he loved so much. The boy had some soul searching to do.

Kise:

“____cchi!? What happened!?” His panic was evident in his high-pitched screech, he bombarded you with questions wondering who on Earth could make you cry. In the whole time you had been dating, you always wore a cheerful smile, so seeing the downturned frown sent a wave of fear through the golden-haired boy.

“Your stupid fangirls is what! They completely trashed my locked and the pictures you gave me from our vacation were ruined!” You were almost shaking with anger, you knew his fangirls were obsessive but this was getting ridiculous. Seeing your favorite photo of the two of you kissing, completely shredded on the ground, was your breaking point. His eyes darkened a bit and you felt firm arms pull you into an inescapable hug.

“This will not happen again. I can promise you that ____.” Your eyes widened as you realized he dropped your usual honorific and a part of you honestly felt bad for the girl who did it…because that meant Kise was livid. “____, let’s go get some coffee, hm?” You could see the tightly concealed fury that danced in his golden irises, and gave him a small smile, hoping he wouldn’t scare the fangirls too much. Though you felt comfort in knowing he wouldn’t tolerate ill behavior towards you.

Midorima:

He wondered briefly how, on his worst Oha Asa prediction yet, you had managed to get him out of the house. Cancer’s were said to have terrible luck all day and in fear, he cancelled your anniversary date. But seeing the tears that streaked down your face on video chat, made his skin crawl. His chest tightened and taped fingers clutched pathetically to his daily item.

“F-fine. For you I will go out. But I need at least two of my good-luck item, nanodayo.” He grunted while pushing his glasses up in a subconsciously anxious move. Seeing the small smile, you gave over video chat eased the pain in his chest.

So here you were now, in your favorite restaurant, despite the boy’s paranoia. He had multiple stuffed animals around him as they were his lucky item of the day. You couldn’t help but give him a kiss on the cheek, as you know how hard it was for him to come out. He really did put you above all, even chancing a fight with fate.

 

Murasakibara:

You actually didn’t mean to start crying, it was an involuntary action. You had gone to give Okamura a bottle of water as requested by the coach, but he didn’t see you because of your height difference. As he turned he accidently bumped you, causing you to fall and bump your arm painfully on the side bench. As the first tear fell, you could sense your boyfriend coming up behind you.

“Oi, ____-chin you okay?” Murasakibara leaned down to pick you up, but as your head turned and he saw the tear, he froze. His gut twisted sharply and his eyes narrowed in on a flustered Okamura, who continuously apologized. “____…you’re crying.” His normal childish tone was gone and his narrowed in challenge to Okamura who Himuro was desperately trying to usher away from the purple titan.

“Atsu-kun, it was an accident I’m fine I swear!” You stood up and tried your hardest to fight back the hiss that worked its way passed your lips, but ultimately failed. Your eyes widened before you looked to Okamura in panic, “Senpai, RUN!” Was the only advice you could give before you all watched the purple titan comically chase around a screaming Okamura. Perhaps Mura being lazy was best for everyone’s health…

A post about Hetalia

I get too many asks like this so I’m going to tell you some more in depth shit okay so get ready, this is the last time I try to explain why I try to avoid this show even though i like some of the characters and some of the ideas of the show.

The idea of the show

The concept of Hetalia is really cool, maybe it could be good. A bunch of characters that are the representations of entire countries full of people that then have to interact and try their best to get along and make the humans behave while also teaching the audience about historical events and culture in various countries. Sure it’s really complicated and weird, but anime is always like that and the idea sounds kinda interesting. The show is very simple and silly and the characters are all goofy and funny. Nothing violent ever really happens its pretty much just the characters interacting and giving us some historical lessons full of jokes.

Is Hetalia offensive and racist?

I would say Hetalia could be a lot better, both in how its told and how its made, If you’re a person who has never read the manga or seen the anime the idea of it probably sounds very problematic but it’s actually not that bad. Dont get me wrong, parts of it are pretty bad but not as bad as you’d think, at least not the original Japanese version. The show doesn’t necessarily touch much on the very sensitive historical events its not like we see actual war scenes or characters dying, rather it tells us facts about the countries, about the culture. As a person who always loved history and culture I’d have to say some of the jokes in the show can be pretty funny and maybe even clever (but most of the time its just Italy running around and making weird noises). It’s safe to say the original idea for this show was probably for it to simply be an educational and fun way to learn world history, whether it actually is what it tries to be is up for debate.When it comes to racism the English dub however does have a lot of pretty terrible jokes, obvious stereotype accents and so on that many may find offensive, but that’s just the English version. But that’s not really the point, what makes Hetalia really offensive and annoying are the fans, and I feel bad for saying it but its true

The Hetalia fans

The show in itself may actually be pretty okay, some may hate it but the show in itself isn’t actually the worst show to ever be created on this earth believe it or not. But the fandom blows things out and create so much bullshit that it does make the show seem really bad. 

Anyone can tell that things are about to get problematic if you have fan girls shipping countries that in real life have been in war with each other. I wouldn’t say its wrong to ship the characters in the show they are fictional after all, but the fans go way out of hand and they bring their weird fan girl stuff into real life. I have literally met fans of the show that dressed up as Nazis, I have met people who drew so much problematic fan art, I have met people who constantly joked about horrible real life events and used them as content for their shippings. I can maybe understand if its events that took place a long time ago (many shows and comedians do that kinda stuff, Hetalia isn’t the only show that jokes about Hitler and nazis) but the Hetalia fans have a tendency to also use horrible things that may have happened very recently, events from which many victims are still grieving or events that are still going on right now and it’s very disturbing.

Not to mention that for some reason the hetalia fandom in particular is very good at creating loads of fan content that involves incest and rape, I’m not sure why but I have never seen so much of that kinda content in any other fandom. Usually I dont care what kinda weird creepy shit other people draw or write, but when there’e so much of it it kinda creeps me out.

Why are they so annoying?

Hetalia fans in most cases, are pretty young, about 13 to 17 years old, of course younger and older fans exist but this is just based on the many people I talked to for years. Also I personally liked the show from when I was 14 to when I was about 18. Because of this its understandable why many of the fans are considered reckless, uneducated and annoying, because that’s what people are like when they are teenagers. I was stupid when I was a teen as well.

The show can also be brought up at all times because the show is literally about the entire world. The fans appear as so annoying because they bring up Hetalia in every fucking conversation and it makes me want to die. Almost all anime fans are a bit like that, we like to bring up our fave anime, I’m guilty of that as well, but hetalia fans are the best at it for sure because you can almost always find a way to sneak Hetalia into any topic. I’m not saying thats some kind of excuse for hetalia fans behavior but at least there’s a bit of an explanation to why they can seem so obnoxious.

Personal experiences

I’m not saying all hetalia fans are bad people but many of them are annoying and many of them do things without thinking first. About a year ago at a convention I met a friend and she had a big group of hetalia fans. At one point one girl asked me if I was the person who made the “the adventures of potatoboy” comic and the fan art and such, she recognized me from selfies I had posted on tumblr. I told her that yes that’s me and then kindly asked her not to tell people about it because I don’t like getting too much attention. However only minutes later she had told the entire group and started showing my comic to everyone, about 30 people. They all started talking to me, that’s cool I guess but I have social anxiety so I wasn’t really feeling it. I clearly stated I wanted to leave and go to my friends and started walking away, but some girls followed me and asked questions about the comic; that is not cool. I ended up having to distract them and then literally run and hide for about 15 minutes until finally I met my jojo group and hid behind them for the rest of that day, that is absolutely not cool. They were never necessarily rude to me but I was really scared when several people started following me and didn’t want to leave me alone despite the fact that I told them multiple times. And I’m not saying all Hetalia fans are like them but many of them seriously are and I know because I have met them many times. 

Ever since I stopped posting Hetalia content and moved on to other shows the amount of drama, arguments and anon hate I used to get involved in without even trying has basically gone down to almost zero. Also my art doesn’t get stolen as much anymore, when I drew Hetalia my art got reposted by other people so much to the point where someone even made an instagram account and pretended to be me in order to gain more followers. Also people would sell my art on redbubble without asking me. If that’s not fucking weird then I don’t know what is.

So do I actually hate Hetalia?

No, I dont. I always liked the characters, they are silly and fun to draw. Yes the animation is probably the worst I have ever seen in an anime and the show certainly isn’t perfect in fact it’s pretty shit. But I don’t hate it and I dont hate people who like it, however I don’t trust the Hetalia fandom and I dont want to be a part of it ever again. All they do is argue, get into fights, act stupid in public and make me scared to go to conventions. If you like Hetalia that’s fine, if you think it’s racist and offensive then yeah that is your opinion and I understand that. For me what made me stop liking it was the fans, and yeah maybe I just had bad luck and kept running into the fans that steal and harass people but it made me very tired, and probably a main reason is also the fact that I got older

I myself have contributed to the Blushing Killua meme for fun, but let’s be honest. Killua is a chill person who is very okay with physical contact and often initiates it himself. I think this is how their dynamics would be. Gon would be openly affectionate with lots of cheek kisses and hand-holding and Killua’s fine and casual with that. Killua prefers simple gestures like touching and leaning into Gon, rather than initiating “romantic” things like kisses. Killua kisses are something of a rarity (and usually kind of sly), so Gon, who is absolutely crazy about his best friend in the whole world, turns into an excited blushing mess whenever he sees one coming. I see him as the type that gets so happy he just starts laughing. And Killua at first is like, “What’s so funny??” and gets mad because he thinks Gon is laughing at him for, idk kissing wrong? wtf Gon! But Gon keeps assuring him he’s just SO HAPPY that Killua loves him.

The second reason this not-quite-a-comic exists is because I wanted to draw Gon in this shirt. Dogs say “WAN” in Japanese, which sounds like “ONE” in English. Killua got him this shirt because Gon is a pup who is Number 1.

Thank you guys for going on this journey with me, the triplets and all the other characters I met in these almost two years.

I really enjoyed drawing those dorks and interact with other people, I even got the chance to meet new people that later became my friends in real life.

But here is the thing…

What was once supposed to be a just-for-fun blog where I could draw stupid mini comics and lovely happy dorks became a toxic place.
It’s like I really want to keep going on but there is this giant blockade that drains all my joy from drawing BroAU content.
No matter what I draw, there is always that bothering feeling of “Oh, who do you gonna trigger this time?”, “Who is going to feel disappointed/sad/betrayed now?”

I don’t care what a random anon says
but people I know better, maybe even called friends…
their words indeed affect me. In a positive or negative way.

People are always saying “You can do whatever you want, it’s YOUR blog and YOUR characters.”
For me at the moment, it doesn’t feel like it.
I mean how often can you bear it when sb says “I don’t like your decision you did with your story”, “your character were much better when xxx”, “I don’t like this and that”, “You can do whatever you want of course! but let me tell you for the 10th time that I personally don’t like it”.

When you are a friend, are you really trying to make the other one feel guilty? Regretting drawing stuff they just enjoyed?
Hell, I’m not into certain stuff my friends do or like drawing either.
But then I support them anyway or shut the fuck up and let them have their fun.

Well, at this point you maybe got me sad and disappointed with all that stuff and I would maybe have went on a break to calm down etc

…But when all those comments and attitudes hurt the persons I care most about, push them to anxiety and drag them down…

then there is the fucking line for me.

To make it clear:

I won’t tolerate destructive comments and attitudes anymore and I will start blocking people if it won’t stop.

I tried to do compromises to make both parties happy…
but when this is what I get….

Now excuse me while I am trying not to click on that fucking “delete ask-the-vinsmokes” button because I am so sick of justifying the stuff I do with my story and my characters.

Really need time to find my joy for this blog again and the reason why I want extra stress in exchange for doing free art , jesus christ….

anonymous asked:

Hello, I was one of your students at some point, because of family problems and my own stupidity got kicked out of university. I can start again but it seems like just a waste at this point? time and monetary. The 2+ years I was in school where awful it just felt so wrong, the things I loved and where so passionate about started to feel dull, only reason I kept going was beacuse my dad cared so much about education. I'm 22 getting really close to 23 and I'm really scared and lost

Hmm. I’m not sure if you want me to answer this or not, it would seem more like you’re venting, which is totally fine too. 

In the off chance you’re looking for some form of advice, I would firstly say that if you’re one of my students you’re probably located in México. I know that University seems like a huge waste of time. I switched Universities more than once and even got suspended for failing subjects. Twice. I still finished the damn thing and while I agree it’s a mostly wasteful thing which sucks out the passion out of the things you love, I’d still advice you finish it.

Try and look at it this way: it’s a good place for networking, and you need a plan B. Always have a plan B. By all means follow your dreams, but always have a plan B. Another useful thing of a University degree: you can work overseas with it. Almost every creative field position in a foreign country will require at least a college/university degree. In case you don’t have your passport and visa set up: Now would be a good time. You can get a visa a lot easier if you’re studying. 

It’s hard for me to provide any more advice because I don’t know what were you studying and what do you want to do with your life, but I’ll say this: It’s ok to feel lost at your age. Most people do, to be quite honest. I didn’t start to get my shit together until I turned 27. It’s just how it is. And no, I’m not condescending just because I’m older, but I can try and tell you stuff I wish someone told me at your age. 

Feeling lost really sucks, and feeling like nothing is under your control contributes to that. It’s like you need to learn how to walk all over again. We live in a changing world in which the shit that used to be a given for our parents like job security, affordable housing, reliable healthcare and saving for retirement is simply not there anymore unless you’re rich or from a First World country, and even that second one depends on which First World country.  On top of that you’re faced with the reality that the thing you love, that thing you were so passionate about is becoming dull for you. I don’t know exactly why that is, but I’m gonna try to explore different scenarios and hopefully one of those will help:

• Your passion is full of morons.

That’s one thing you’re gonna have to get used to. If the thing you love becomes dull because you’re surrounded by assholes and incompetent people who don’t understand said thing and still claim they also love this thing you love, you’re the one fucking up. Your appreciation for your chosen discipline has to be beyond what you think of other people. Do you think if I based my appreciation of drawing and comics on the behavior and opinions of the industry these days I’d even be trying to pick up a pencil/stylus? Also, you always, always have to consider the possibility that you are being the asshole. Really look deep within yourself and pay attention to the behavior of those around you when you’re in the room, and think to yourself “am I the one making it difficult by being insufferable?” You could even (rarely) be right, and still be an asshole about it, rendering whatever insight you have useless. 

Assuming what you love to do is what you’re studying, the problem with it is also that your teachers may not coincide with your opinions on many subject matters. This is an issue I ran into a lot, especially because by my third semester I already had considerable work experience in illustration and graphic design, and some of my teachers hadn’t worked for years. Just swallow it. Seriously. Just smile, and say yes, and study on your own. Get tutorials, listen to the best on the field. The internet is a valuable resource. Get to know your teachers. Pay attention to the ones who are also working on the field while they teach. They’re usually the most savvy ones. Learn to listen to the good, knowledgeable people and learn how to use those who are idiots. Sounds a bit psychopathic, I know, but what I mean by that is, learn from their mistakes. Look at what they’re doing wrong and avoid it. You may need something from them at some point. Don’t get on their bad side. Don’t be an ass kisser either. Just treat them with respect, only appeal to their vanity if you need something from them and they’re playing hard to get. Sometimes you just need to be cold-blooded. Accept that. 


• Your passion is a job.

Your passion is a job. This is the reality of every craft, every discipline, as fun as they may seem. Even competitive eating is a fucking job. Look at Takeru Kobayashi. The second you decide you want to make comics, or music or food for a living, it becomes a job. It has deadlines, annoying clients, invoice disputes, etc. That’s just how it is. Guys like Report of the Week on youtube making money by reviewing fast food? That’s a job. They created that job. It’s fun, yeah. But it’s also their means of sustenance. That whole thing about “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life?” Absolute fucking horseshit. It’s a bare-faced lie. Doing what you love for a living means you still have to deal with all the bullshit a job entails, but at least you feel fulfilled at the end of the day. There is no way you will avoid the business side of it. And I don’t think I know anyone who likes to deal with that shit. If the realities of your passion being full of assholes and also being a job are just too much, well…


• Maybe your passion isn’t your passion.

And it’s okay. Really. I know a lot of people who are really, really good at drawing and illustration and they love it, but they know themselves well enough to know that they just don’t love it enough to go through all of the shit you need to go through in order to make a living off it. When you really like a hobby you can make the mistake of thinking that it means it’s your passion, but maybe that hobby has a very important place in your life as the thing you use to relieve stress. Making it a job would take away your hobby, and now you need a new one to relieve stress. You have to understand that making something you really enjoy your job is to sacrifice the portion of it which relieves you of stress. You sacrifice that part for something greater though: Fulfillment. Of course, before fulfillment comes an avalanche of bullshit you have to wade through before you get there, and you need to really, really meditate on whether the fulfillment you’ll get after it will be enough to make that time, sweat and tears invested worth it. To be quite honest the reason I do what I do is not necessarily ‘cause I love drawing, even though I do. It’s because if I don’t create anything I die inside. I fucking rot. So honestly I don’t really have a choice. I could’ve easily become a musician, or a writer, just as long as I got to create something. The whole idea of “having a passion” sometimes strikes me as something the internet invented. The reality I’ve encountered in my personal life is that the stuff that fuels me to pursue the things I want to pursue are discipline, and the knowledge that not doing it just isn’t an option, it’s self-preservation. Maybe we need a new perspective on how to treat the things we love to do, I don’t know. 

—————————————

Let’s just summarize this overly long and unedited post: It’s okay to feel lost, and most people during their 20′s go through this. It gets better as long as you don’t do something really stupid (by really stupid I mean something that might land you in jail, shit like that). This is a good time to ponder on whether your passion is really your passion and if you’re ready to make the sacrifices needed to make that your job. 

One small thing you can do to work your way up from feeling lost: Clean your room. Seriously. Look for small problems in your immediate surroundings, and solve them. Make your bed. Organize your books. Organize your computer folders. This works for me. Hopefully it’ll work for you. 

And I think that’s all I have to say. I have no idea if any of this will help you, but I hope at least some of it will, I really do.   

Smirk Pt. 3 - Luke Hemmings

Pairing: Luke and Y/N

Word Count: 5.1k+

Requested: Yes!!

Warnings: PG-13 (Swearing?)

I REALLY don’t know how I feel about this so any feedback would be so appreciated. I also wouldn’t mind taking this and turning it into an actual fanfiction so let me know your thoughts on that. :)

Part One HERE // Part Two HERE

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anonymous asked:

Can you make a post on representation, "queerbaiting" and everything that surrounds that? Representation itself isn't a a bad thing, but how and why did it turn into whatever the heck it is today

First of all let’s get ‘queerbaiting’ (I hate that term) out of the way. The idea behind it was to criticize the act of deliberately implying and teasing a gay pairing, only to switch one (or both) of the characters to a straight pairing last minute. However, actual examples of this can be counted on a single hand.

Instead, ‘queerbaiting’ instead is frequently used by shippers as a buzzword to throw a fit that their homosexual ship was sunk by canon and then use it as an excuse to harass and demonize the writers. It’s gotten to the point that people abusing the term clearly don’t care about the context and are just upset they couldn’t force their personal ship to be canon.

Exhibit A: Steven Universe fans accusing the staff of queerbaiting when a fan-favorite lesbian ship was seemingly sunk by a staff member preferring… a different lesbian ship. Yeah, ‘queerbaiting’ is full of shit at this point.


As for Tumblr’s extremely shoddy handling on representation? There’s a word for that; Tokenism! Tokenism is the practice of making only a minimal and symbolic effort towards equality and representation, typically in the form of hiring a small amount of (aka ‘token’) minorities or providing two-dimensional characters whose only notable trait is their minority status in a media.

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notyourplotbunny replied to your post “I need Saphael ideas for Valentine’s Day, help…”

rafe being passive aggressive with candy hearts

he knows they cant eat them but its the principle (sp?) of the matter bc noone has celebrated valentines day at dumort in decades 


Okay, I guess I changed it a little bit but I hope you like what I made of it, I certainly had fun writing this :D And thank you for the idea! ♥

Also posting it already because it’s just past midnight here so it’s the 14th for me already - it will be up on AO3 in about an hour (it won’t let me set the correct date before 1am…)


“What is up with this stuff, seriously??” Stan complained and Simon glanced up from the comic he was currently reading to look at the small pink candy heart the older vampire had pinched between his index finger and thumb. It wasn’t the first one a clan member had discovered in the hotel and the fledgeling couldn’t help but think that the idea was absolutely hilarious.

“What does this one say?” Simon asked and he felt his lips already tugging into a grin when the other groaned.

U suck.”

Laughter bubbled up in Simon’s throat and he wasn’t the only one who enjoyed the little messages engraved into the sweets. Whoever had taken the time to scatter these in the whole hotel was clearly a genius in Simon’s book and he would love to know who was behind all of this.

“I’m still convinced that this is your doing, Lewis! You’re the only one here with this stupid kind of humour!” Stan glared at him but without any heat and Simon knew he wasn’t actually mad. He was simply an old, grumpy vampire without a sense of humour and probably didn’t even get why half of the things were funny to the clan members who bothered to keep up with the modern world.

“Stan, seriously, I would be proud if this had been my idea but sadly it isn’t.”

“I found one with ctrl + z in one of the cupboards in the kitchen,” Lily commented from where she was curled up in the armchair with a book perched in her lap, not taking her eyes off the pages while talking. Stan and a few other vampires frowned, clearly not getting the joke, while Simon stifled more laughter by pressing his hand to his mouth.

“When I got up and went to the bathroom there was a blue heart balanced on the tap with the words get lost. I always thought these candy hearts only had nice messages on them but clearly, there are mean ones as well,” another female vampire added and a few other clan members told about their findings as well. Simon’s favourite ones certainly were the drop dead, bite me, tbh I’d rather not and in ur dreams but the u suck was right up there as well.

The first one to discover the candy hearts scattered across the hotel had been one of the oldest clan members who had been very confused about the I literally can’t message on a yellow heart in their room because they couldn’t figure out what it was supposed to mean. Simon had tried to explain the meaning but he wasn’t too sure that the other vampire had understood.

“It’s Valentine’s Day, someone probably just wanted to lighten the mood,” Lily commented with a shrug and it might have been a slightly weird thing to do so with almost insulting messages on pastel coloured candy hearts but most clan members did think they were funny and a few had actually started a competition about who could find the most hearts - and the ones with the best messages.

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Short fic: Will asking Jonathan what to do about his crush on Mike

Hey guys! This is my first fic since creating my account! Tell me what y’all think.

It took him a lot of courage to get to this point. He was starring at the wooden door that guarded his brother’s room, like it was an insurmountable barrier. He could feel a storm brewing inside him. He’d never had to discuss such a sensitive subject with Jonathan. He wasn’t even sure if Jonathan knew he was gay. He’d always assumed he’d worked it out but he’d never checked. Sure, he’d always been supportive of gays generally, but thi––

“Will, honey, is something wrong.” Will froze, as though paralysed by some invincible force. He turned his head mechanically to see his mother, looking as concerned as ever.

“Uhh, no, mom, I’m er, just going to talk to…” He opened the door slowly, slipped in and shut the door as to quickly avoided the rest of the conversation. He burst into the room so loudly that he alarmed Jonathan, who was getting changed.

“Dude!”

Will was startled.

“Damn, sorry, sorry, sorry! I just uh, I had a question.”
“Is the question how to knock on a door?”
“I’m sorry.”
Jonathan studied him carefully. After all these years, he could read his brother like a book.

“What’s your question?”
Will prepared himself. He played this scenario over in his head at least a thousand times. How would Jonathan react? What would his advice be? How do these conversations work?

Will went to sit down next to Jonathan on his bed. He kept an arm’s length distance between them, as Jonathan was attempting to put his socks on. He couldn’t help thinking that his brother put socks on in such a way that made it look as though he was physically fighting them, pulling and twisting, trying to get them in place. Will sighed and found the courage to say what he needed to say.
“If you feel a genuine connection with someone…”––Will’s voice shook––“like, more than just a friend. Someone who can make you feel happy just by sitting next to you… what do you do?”

Jonathan cracked a smile.
“You tell them.”

Will was taken aback by the reductive simplicity of the answer - as if telling Mike how much he cared about him, cherished him, drew pictures of them together would be anything but difficult.
“I can’t.”

“Oh come on, of course you can! All you have to do is make sure you two are alone. All you have to do is tell them how you feel.”

“But what if they’re your friend and you don’t want to make it weird?” Will had found his voice. His nerves seem to have alleviated. Jonathan’s demeanour seemed to be calming him, somehow.

“It’s only weird if you let it be weird.” Jonathan had, by now, triumphed over his socks and was rummaging around his room, attempting to find his shoes.

Will was confused. He crumpled his face involuntarily, trying to work out exactly what Jonathan was meaning.

Jonathan clarified, “I mean, it’s only weird if you can’t move on if he says no.”

Will had entirely missed the pronoun at the end of that sentence and was instead considering if he, in any way, could get over Mike. He thought of all the pictures he’d drawn over the past few years, all the dates he’d planned, all the dreams he’d had. He once dreamt that he’d woken up with power of psychokinesis, that is, he was able to move objects with his mind. In the dream, he’d arrived at school to find Troy picking on Mike. He walked over, yelling out “Hey! HEY!” Troy looked up, with his usual, dumbfounded look - as though he was so stupid, the happenings of the world genuinely surprised him. Troy looked at Will approaching and after a brief pause, his hostile look resumed.

He affected a patronising, exaggerated ‘baby voice’, “Awww, faggy Byers is coming to rescue frogface.”
Will hated the word ‘faggot’. He couldn’t handle it. It made his blood boil. But more than that, he hated that they called Mike “frogface”. He looked nothing like a frog. According to Will, he looked beautiful, thank you very much.

Troy shaped up and walked over, ready to hit Will. Will engaged his new-found power and quite literally tossed Troy across the school yard. Everybody turned around, attracted by Troy’s girl-like screams, just in time to see Will offer Mike his hand. He helped him up and Mike hugged him. He hugged him tightly. Will wasn’t ready and started to tear up.

He’d been torn from his slumber by his mother opening his door, telling him it was school time.

In his trance, he’d forgotten what Jonathan was saying.

“Will!”

“What? Oh, what?” Will couldn’t lie. He really couldn’t lie.
“Have you been listening?”
“… Sorry” Will shook his head, ever so slightly.

Jonathan studied him.

“Will, I now want to ask you a question.” Jonathan had succeeded in tying his shoes and now had his full attention focussed on his brother.
Will looked at him, eyes wide with tension.

“Is the person you like Mike?”

Will went red. He couldn’t help it! He just nodded.
“I–it is. It’s Mike. I like Mike.” Somehow repeating it seemed to help.

“Well, that’s different,” Jonathan remarked.
Will’s heart skipped a beat.
“Wha–What?” For Will, the nerves came back.


Jonathan smiled and put his arm around his brother’s shoulder.
“Well, I don’t see the point of telling him when you have already drawn every possible situation in your sketchbook.”
Will went wide-eyed.
“You looked in my sketchbook?”
“Don’t be silly, it was open on your desk!” Jonathan couldn’t help but chuckle. As if anyone thought Will and Mike weren’t in love.

Jonathan wouldn’t say anything because it is important for Will to have this first love experience - he’s missed out on so much already, notably a father figure. Jonathan wasn’t going to rob him of the butterflies, palpitations and the near-death experience that is your first crush. But Jonathan knew Mike liked Will just as much. One year, Will had really wanted a new Atari for Christmas but Joyce simply couldn’t afford it, even with Jonathan pitching in. Will understood and was grateful that he could still get a sketchbook and some comics - because really, that’s all he needed in any case. He continued along, contentedly drawing some new video game characters in Castle Byers.
Mike showed up the next morning (Karen was very clear that Christmas day is family time, so Mike wasn’t allowed out).
“I have a surprise for you,” Mike said, cryptically, as he rushed away, laughing to himself.

Will was happy to see his best friend and put down his sketchbook.
He followed Mike, rushing through his house. There, Mike had somehow managed to carry his brand new Atari all the way to Will’s house. He explained to Will that his dad had gotten a bonus at work and so Mike had gotten one and he wanted to share with Will. Of course, both of them were too young to notice this at such a young age but Joyce certainly did.
It took Karen some time to adjust to the idea of having a gay son but eventually she came around. By the time Mike was ready to admit it, she was completely okay with it. His dad, oddly, didn’t mind at all.

“I could draw it.” Will sliced through Jonathan’s paper trail of thought like a samurai.
“I could draw some of our favourite times together, except like we had superpowers. Kind of like a cool version of us. You know, like us, but as comic book characters.”

Jonathan’s smile went so, so wide.
“So what are you waiting for? Get to work.”

Will hugged his brother, burst through the house to a shocked Joyce, who was standing in the hallway.
“Oh, Will, sweetie––”
“Can’t talk, mom. Busy.” He ran and ran until he got to Castle Byers, where he stayed until Joyce had decided to bring him dinner because she wasn’t going to get her sensitive, brave soul off his love quest now. She knew that Will saw life as one big video game, where he was programmer, story director and artist all in one. So far, this was the biggest quest of his life.

Will couldn’t help thinking that Castle Byers was perfect for this project. Everyone abided by his password rule, which would give him time to hide his sketchbook and pick up a nearby comic. It was the perfect plan.

When Joyce said the right password, she brought Will his dinner. She’d cooked some chicken fingers and paired them with some clumsily placed vegetables. Will was innocently reading a comic book, his sketchbook placed securely under his pillow. Joyce didn’t even worry about making small talk. Will was clearly busy and she had no need to ask; mothers always know.

“Thanks mom,” Will smiled. He knew they weren’t rich, nor well-off. In fact he knew life was a daily struggle for his mom and older brother. But nonetheless, he was appreciated, loved and cared for. He really couldn’t ask for anything more than that.
Joyce didn’t see the need to stick around. She very well knew that Will could be out there for hours with his flashlight, drawing away. She didn’t want to interrupt him.

Joyce lived for these moments. If there was one thing she knew, it was that in love, we find the courage to say the things that linger in the back of our minds. We find the creativity to create a world for the person we care for the most. We discover the power of emotion. We discover that humans are more than just skin, bones and blood. And in doing this, we create a life more colourful than we could ever envision.

Tacky Flowers

Here’s a little something for @clexaweek2017 Enemies to Lovers

“Can you believe she called my flowers tacky?” Clarke paced back and forth across the parlor waiting room. Raven and Octavia were just watching the Clarke bomb explode, hoping it didn’t get too nasty too fast.

“Clarke, she is a botanist. She’s just… passionate,” Octavia said. She knew Lexa personally thanks to Lincoln, and she truly was passionate about her plants. Octavia had seen how dedicated she was, even though it seemed a bit much. Talking to plants? Admitted, it was a little unusual, but it obviously worked for her.

“I don’t care if she’s the best damned botanist in the world. No one calls my art tacky.” Clarke stopped pacing. She had to talk to Lexa. There was no way she was going to let some flower girl  tell her how to draw plants. She couldn’t even draw. How dare she have the nerve to tell an actual artist how to draw a damn flower.

Raven and Octavia watched in horror as Clarke stormed out of the tattoo parlor. Damn Clarke and her ego. It was a bit harsh for Lexa to say her art was tacky, but she hadn’t realized the monster that was Wounded Ego Clarke. Both girls kind of wanted to go watch to see what Lexa had really unleashed, but they knew better than to get in Clarke’s way when she was on a rampage.

They just hoped Lexa would survive long enough to fill them in on the details.


Lexa had been trying to help a customer when Clarke tried to throw her shop door open. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from laughing at the attempt. Clarke would have been successful, but Lexa had a door closer that slowed the speed of the door, so it looked like she was opening it in slow motion. It was pretty comical.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. What else did you say you would like?” Lexa tried to listen to the customer, but she was a bit distracted by Clarke’s apparent bad attitude. Her brows were furrowed and her hands were clenched at her sides. What had happened to make such a gorgeous lady become so angry?

Thankfully, Lexa had a customer to help so it kept her mind off of the beautifully angry Clarke standing in her shop’s doorway. She went around gathering the flowers that she felt her customer would be satisfied with, considering her situation. Lexa couldn’t begin to count how many people came to her trying to make up for mistakes in relationships. This younger lady was no exception.

“Here you go. I hope everything works out.” Lexa smiled and handed over the flowers. Her customer thanked her before backing out and almost running into Clarke. Luckily she realized she was in the way and moved over just long enough for the customer to leave, but then she flipped the “Welcome” sign to “Closed.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Clarke, but it’s only 2:30. I’m not closed for the day.” Lexa didn’t have time to enjoy her teasing because Clarke was already at the counter. As cliche as it sounded, her blue eyes held a storm in them. The fact that the storm was directed at her made Lexa as turned on as she was scared.

“We need to talk.” Clarke’s mouth was moving, but Lexa was too distracted. She should’ve been paying attention. Clarke wouldn’t be this angry over nothing, and it was probably something Lexa had done. But dammit, angry Clarke was kind of hot.

“I’m listening.” Lexa could tell that Clarke hadn’t been expecting that kind of answer. Maybe she had expected her to argue already?

“Who do you think you are to call my flowers tacky?” Clarke had never been one to hold back or beat around the bush. Her father had always said to just spit it out so as not to waste anyone’s time. She had thought it was an excellent piece of advice. Especially when she wanted to start arguments.

“A person who got a degree in plants and someone that runs a flower shop. Really, Clarke, I thought you knew that already.” Lexa knew she was just stroking the fire. She also knew that angry women could be very dangerous. But she deserved to have a little fun in her life, right?

“You know nature, not art.”

“Art imitates nature.”

“Art imitates feelings. It’s just a coincidence if those feelings appear in the form of nature.”

“So when you draw flowers you feel inadequate?” Lexa knew immediately that she had said the wrong thing. Clarke’s eyes narrowed while she clenched her jaw. This wasn’t going to be good. Lexa had unleashed the beast.

“How dare you call me inadequate. I’ve dedicated my whole life to my art. Can you say the same about your stupid flowers?”

“I don’t have to take a lifetime to be good at something.”Clarke’s jaw dropped. She went too far.

“Don’t act like you’re better than everyone else. You sell flowers. It doesn’t take a passionate botanist to do that.”

“Maybe it doesn’t, but it definitely takes a special kind of person to tolerate you.”

“Tolerate me? Honey, people enjoy me.” Clarke knew they were getting petty and starting to take cheap shots. She hadn’t expected this to end up so… childish. She had honestly just wanted to confront Lexa about the insult to her ego. This back-and-forth argument didn’t really help, though.

“Oh yeah? Prove it.” Lexa didn’t know what she was expecting. Maybe she was expecting Clarke to pull out pictures or a video. She could have even spurted out a story about how much fun she had had with some of her friends one time. What she hadn’t expected, though, was for Clarke to grab Lexa’s shirt, pull her close, and kiss her. And she definitely hadn’t expected what was happening soon after.


“That was hate sex. Just so you know.” Clarke hadn’t really planned on, well, doing what she did. It was just once. Oh, and it was to prove a point. It’s not like it had meant anything. It’s definitely not like she had enjoyed it. Or so she told herself.

“I’m not so sure. I think you just wanted to act out that scene from “Imagine Me & You.”” Lexa was too smug. She was very happy with what had happened. It had been unexpected, but it was definitely pleasant. Clarke was right. She did enjoy Clarke. Maybe a little too much.

“Oh whatever. You couldn’t live up to Luce no matter how hard you tried.”

“Whatever you say, Griffin.”

Clarke looked at Lexa a little longer. She hadn’t solved her problem. She still hadn’t convinced Lexa that her art was beautiful. It was the whole reason she had gone over there in the first place. The reason she had interrupted both hers and Lexa’s businesses for the day. Well, she guessed she would just need to visit Lexa more often until the ‘situation’ was solved. Yeah, that seemed like a very good plan.

Probably no one will read this...

.. but for those, who are interested, I will write this journal now.

I want to talk a bit about my lack of activity, and about my thoughts on this site, or art.

As you can see, I am not producing too much art lately. This has many reasons, and it’s a bit complicated, but most of all I lost my motivation and passion. Yes, I still do art, but most of them are not uploaded here, because they are rather private stuff, which I only show to my close friends.
After all these years spent on art and doing comics, I just started to lose interest in the whole thing. I feel no one really cares about my stuff anyway. I mean yeah, people like my fan-things, but no one really gives a damn about my original stuff. And it’s okay, I admit that my stuff is even a bit boring! I totally have no bad thoughts on this anymore. For years I had, and didn’t understand why nobody likes my stuff, but I finally started to understand. And that is, that I am just not original, or interesting enough. I still love my stuff, but I think I will just keep the stories for myself, and maybe just produce some art/ doodles every once in a while.

I really like to do more private art lately, but I am too anxious to share it here.

I have over 5000 followers (or more) all together from different sites, yet I don’t really feel that I have any support from anyone… Only a few people, but that means like 10-20 people, who came to me and talked to me and told me they like my stuff… And talked to me and supported me. But this is a huge trap, I must say. And I fell in it. I just thought from 5000 people I would get at least 200-300 stable followers. I was not right.  But this isn’t bad, this is how these things work. I just didn’t know it, and had to realize it on my own.
But by now I don’t really want to produce as much work as I did before.

I also need money for medical things, and since I am not getting any help really from my family, I need to work for that money. Next to that I don’t really have time or energy to do more art, or even just think of it.

I also don’t want to focus on art in my life anymore. This was a huge struggle for me, since I was doing art ever since I was able to hold a pen. And for all my life I wanted to be an animator, or comic artist, or illustrator. I have another degree too and I think I will focus more on that. It’s more real, than art.
And I just also had to realize, that my art isn’t that unique or special either. I mean yeah, some people like it, but it’s not enough to get an art job with it. I can’t even draw proper backgrounds or buildings.  I mean, I tried. I practised. I tried to learn. I just can’t.
I’m a hobby artist.
And that doesn’t mean a bad thing!
I still can produce art every now and then.
To entertain myself, or others.
But focusing on it, it’s just not my thing anymore.

I just want to be happy and live my life, and I can’t do that sitting in my flat for most of the day, and do art.

Maybe it was before, and I had all the passion, and I did EVERYTHING to be successful, but that just failed. I tried and it didn’t work, and I accept it.

Now don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I won’t upload any more art here! I will. Just not that regularely.
This doesn’t mean I HATE art. I just don’t want to focus on it as much as I did before. I got other things in my life, and also need to get somewhere finally.
I would GLADLY accept any commission in the future as well, so if you would think of giving work for me, just send me a note about it, I am like ALWAYS open, and am really happy if I can work for someone!

About Patreon: I only had one supporter anyway (on top of it, my friend), but if you still would like to support me and my works, you can do that. I just won’t update that site too often either, please note that.

Anyone, who read this, thank you for it. Not mayn people actually read things, and then they ask stupid questions.
Another thing. I can’t disable the comments here. I would, but I can’t. But I don’t really want to go further in this subject. That is all I wanted to say, and even if you comment here, I won’t answer. Thank you for understanding.

Anyone who still will follow me, I hope you will like my works in the future as well, no matter how much art I will produce. Enjoy your stay!

Again on this Exposure BS

Time and time again, people who repost try to reason with artists that they’re “helping” by “sharing” since it gives the artist exposure. Time and time again, artists have to explain that that excuse is complete BS. This excuse along with “I didn’t know who the artist was to ask for permission,” are probably the most irritating excuses that I get.

Since so many people still don’t get it, let me come in with a visual. Here are the current viewer stats on a comic I did a couple of months ago:

And here are the viewer stats of the dub by Sakura, to whom I give permission to:

As you can see, she has 700k+ views on her dub of my comic (which I’m quite honestly surprised by lol). I’ll start off by saying that I make Sakura wait at least a week before she can dub any of my content. By the time she uploaded her version, my video already had over 100k views. Since then, my video has racked up about 30k+ more views while hers goes on to get 700k+. That 30k+ is actually a lot more than usual. My views typically stagnate once Sakura puts out her version.

The majority of my traffic comes from suggested videos and since Sakura has a waiting period to dub, most people will find my new content and subscribe to me before I send her the files and she dubs it. Sometimes people will see my content first but aren’t even interested in subscribing to me.

Lol you guys don’t understand the level of salt I felt when I saw this comment on one of Sakura’s videos after I posted Booby Trap. Like I mentioned in a previous post about exposure, most people would rather follow aggregate accounts rather than follow individual artists. Exposure? Null and void. That person couldn’t even bother remembering my name despite liking my comic that had not even been out for a full day.

Another thing, sometimes, even with credits and whatnot, people seem to overestimate the intelligence of their audience. You won’t believe how many people will comment and praise the reposter for “their art”. It’s really amusing actually because I’ve heard Sakura repeat herself so many times saying “This isn’t my art!” and there’s even a disclaimer on the videos itself. Yet, I still see comments saying “I love your art!” Also funny that the opposite happens on my channel with people going “Who’s the artist?” “Did you draw this?” Here’s a fun case:

Someone actually left me this comment on a comic that Sakura hasn’t even dubbed yet. It had me going “what?????” I’m the only person who should have this comic. There shouldn’t be any mistake as to whose art it is.

And get this, Sakura’s channel is a popular channel.

Who the flying f*** do you think you are that you would be able to get me exposure if Sakura doesn’t even bring me much exposure? But you know what? It doesn’t matter if I get the exposure or not because if I tell you I don’t want you spreading my content around, you don’t spread it around. I’m not asking for your help nor do I need it. When an artist tells you to remove their art, you do it. Don’t f**king argue with your stupid bullsh*t.


On a side note, @princess-sakura-serenity​, I caught up on the comments on this vid and I’m dying from all the comments about the moaning.

anonymous asked:

why you draw archie so fat? in cannon he has a fit muscular build and he is a guy who would care about his appearance so you should respect that and stop drawing archie like that

Is this forreal? Is this something a real person typed and decided to send????

Okay then

1) why you draw archie so fat? 

I should have stopped reading after this line. Why are you trying to policy the way others draw fanart of their faves when it’s not offensive in any way, for starters? Fat/overweight people are vastly underrepresented, and when they do exist in media, they’re used as comic reliefs. 

Is it really hurting you that I want to take one (1) character and re-imagine him as overweight while people around him still like him and consider him hot and he is also complex? If the answer is yes, please reconsider how you view fat people/fat representation.

2) in cannon he has a fit muscular build

In canon art he doesn’t have a nose or nostrils either, nor does practically everyone in the pokémon world. 

You can argue that’s a stylistic choice. fine. Then let me tell you about how drawing him with more chub is my stylistic choice because i like to represent many different body types and not stick to the same-ness build that many characters in this game are depicted with. I also draw maxie more skinny than how he look in offcial art, I also draw lillie taller and skinnier, too, but i don’t see you complaining about that.

Also….. fitness =/= how many muscles you can see on someone’s body??? Honestly it’s an old argument that has been disproved many times (to mind comes that one overwatch post dicussing zarya, but I can’t finid it so I’ll paraphrase the gist of it)

When people think of strong, fit people, usually the picture of bodybuilders with big shoulders-small waist and lean, defined muscles pop into mind. I’m talking about this body type:

when, 90% of the time, these people are bodybuilders with little to no practical/useable strength. They’re just for show. This, on the other hand:

is the body of someone who wrestles elder whale gods in their spare time. All these people are powerlifters/weightlifters. They don’t have a tiny waist or defined abs. They are thick, they have fat and muscles, they’re endomorph.

 The way I draw Archie is not that thick (after all, he is not a professional athlete but just a regular guy who works out), but he is in that zone. I try to consistently draw him with his good share of stomach fat (meaning little noticeable abs), thick thighs, and a broad waist. Is he fat? Maybe to your standards. It depends from person to person, and also depends to what extent “fat” is considered a slur/insult. Is he not in good shape? Hell no. 

3) and he is a guy who would care about his appearance

……..Implying that fat = doesn’t care about their appearance??? No. This is blatant fatphobia, and I won’t tolerate it because, well, I’m fat. I’m overweight, I have a big stomach, large tighs, arm flab…. and I’m so fed up with the idea that fat people need to be dolled up 24/7 or overperform feminity/masculinity (make-up, beards) for them to not be considered lazy or disgusting, specially when thin people wearing some old pyjama tee-shirt are worshipped as fashion deities to hell and back.

4) so you should respect that and stop drawing archie like that

He just gained a stomach roll and three new stretch marks after this comment :)

Now seriously, outright offering criticism to an artist without them asking to is, hm, how do you say it, rude as fuck. 

You don’t get to decide what I draw in my spare time, and how I draw it, since hey, I’m doing it for free as a hobby. 

I don’t have to cater to anyone else’s view but mine. I draw fanart for the fandom to see and to like/reblog if they want, and i do love the feedback and the positive comments, but ultimately, it’s me who I’m making happy by drawing my faves.

tldr; fuck off and don’t come into my inbox trying to impose your fatphobia on me and policy my art